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„Bucky, no. “
„Steve, yes.”
“Please, please put it back.”
___
Steve should’ve known better than to ask why Bucky had burst out laughing in the middle of the shop. As if they weren’t drawing enough attention to themselves already: Steve’s body alone was reason enough to turn heads at the mall. Superheroes might have been something that more and more New Yorkers were getting used to, but actually seeing two of them in a normal shopping mall in the centre of the city still wasn’t something that happened every day.
Bucky had tried to be nonchalant about it, but Steve noticed how the constant staring affected him. It had taken a lot of persuasion to make Bucky leave their flat in the first place, and Steve couldn’t blame him. He knew what it was like to wake up in what seemed a completely different world, how overwhelmed and frightened he himself had been not that long ago. Besides, Bucky was still fighting off the brainwashing that had been done to him. He could only imagine what his best friend was going through.
Bucky had hidden his metal arm under a long-sleeved pullover and his hand in the pocket of his pants, which should have made him look normal, except it really did not. Something in his eyes and posture made people weary around him, attracting stares as they avoided him. His discomfort was painfully visible to anyone who so much as glanced their way and Steve moved closer to him, making their shoulders bump as they walked.
Distracting him had been the only thing Steve could do to make his friend less uncomfortable and so he’d started talking about random stuff: how convenient but simultaneously strangely irritating he found electric toothbrushes. It’d made Bucky chuckle and relax slightly; the least Steve could do. After all, they wouldn’t be in this crowded mall if it weren’t for him and his lack of clothing. Their mission was finding shirts for Steve which weren’t so tight they looked like they were about to burst into pieces any second (S.H.I.E.L.D. had done an excellent job in providing him with a lifetime supply of shirts fitting that exact description). Steve hadn’t expected it to be this difficult, but apparently most shops didn’t make clothes for super soldiers. It was frustrating as hell, especially while watching Bucky’s growing discomfort. He’d been very close to just resigning himself to his fate and wear tight shirts for the rest of his life, when he’d heard Bucky’s laughter resonate across the whole shop. He hadn’t heard that sound all day and it made his heart beat faster than it should, making him feel better in an instant. Bucky was okay and here, with him. The kind of laughter made him suspicious, though.
“What’s so funny?”
He really should’ve known better. Bucky tried to hide his amusement, but one look at Steve’s confused face sent him giggling again. It took a few more seconds until he was able to speak and Steve didn’t mind, really. He was desperate to know the cause of Bucky’s good mood, but he could also wait a few more seconds if it meant seeing his best friend happy like this.
“I found you some shirts… and other stuff,” Bucky said, gesturing at the small area behind him, not even trying to hide the glee in his voice. Steve took one look, and groaned in frustration.
Of course the local stores had capitalised on the whole superheroes in New York thing by selling all kinds of Avengers merchandise. Steve had just recently discovered it himself when Natasha had cheerfully given him boxers with his face plastered across them. The thought that people actually bought and wore them still threatened to turn his face beet red. Steve had feared the day, but it was only a matter of time until Bucky would discover “Sexy Patriotism – The Captain America collection” currently displayed so elegantly in front of them.
“God, Steve,” Bucky breathed, “Did you know about this?”
“Unfortunately so, yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about it? I could have… ah, what does it say?” He squinted at the curly print on the boxers. “Shown my patriotism in the sexiest way possible. I’ve always wanted underwear with your face on it, to be honest.”
Steve blushed, trying to ban the thought of Bucky wearing nothing but Captain America underwear from his mind. He snatched the boxers out of Bucky’s hand, hiding them under a shirt.
“Stop it, it’s not funny,” he muttered. Bucky just brushed past him and walked farther into the Captain America section of the shop.
“Are you kidding me? This is heaven. Just look at this shirt. I can almost feel the patriotism, the way you’re staring into the distance with the US flag behind you. I like it.”
Steve rolled his eyes.
“You’re just jealous because you’re not a national icon,” he said while Bucky moved on to the action figures, kneeling in front of them and grabbing the Captain America figure.
“Oh, please,” Bucky answered. “Just look at this place. I don’t think being a national icon is something I should be jealous of.”
Bucky picked up a Hulk figurine from the pile of other Avengers action figures, and Steve watched him with amusement. It didn’t happen often, but whenever Bucky managed to halt his destructive train of thought for a few seconds he always looked so young and innocent, like he did before the war. Moments like this made the world move a little bit slower and Steve’s heart beat a little bit faster.
“There will never be any Winter Solder action figures,” Bucky suddenly snapped and he seemed to regret it immediately after. He flinched back from the action figures as if they had burned him and looked at them with a somewhat guilty, bitter expression. Kneeling there like that, he reminded Steve so much of the boy he grew up with; the stupid boy who wanted to go to war to become a hero, to become someone who deserves an action figure of themselves. Instead he came back a ghost.
“I will get Tony to make one for you,” said Steve honestly. He knew exactly how much it would mean to Bucky if someone would show him that he was a hero, too. He might not have been in the past but he was one now and Steve would do anything to make him see that.
Bucky looked up at his best friend and smiled weakly. “Of course you would, wouldn’t you?”
“Who else is going to make your childhood dreams come true if not me?”
They looked at each other for a few more seconds, both of them lost in thought, until Bucky suddenly looked away, clearing his throat. His eyes were wandering through the room again, widening comically when they focussed on something not far away.
“Oh my god,” he gasped. Steve followed his stare curiously and regretted it immediately.
“Oh my god,” he echoed, covering his face with his hands in embarrassment.
“This is the best day of my life,” Bucky declared.
“Bucky, no,” Steve whispered quietly as the grin on Bucky’s face widened.
“Steve, yes,” came the chuckled reply. Bucky crossed the small distance between him and the shirt in question, grabbed it and admired its beauty up close.
Steve’s face was staring back at him from the brightly coloured fabric, fully costumed and framed in a big pink heart. A few stars and hearts adorned the rest of the surface, with the words “My boyfriend is a superhero” taking up most of the space.
“Please, please put it back,” Steve begged, reluctantly joining him. But Bucky was already roaming through the alarmingly large pile of identical shirts, laughing. “I’m going to force your future girlfriend to wear this.”
The comment made Steve’s heart sink into his stomach.
His hands were still hiding most of his face and he answered dryly between his fingers. “I don’t know if she will appreciate it.”
He could feel his face heating and tried to look everywhere but at the embarrassing t-shirt or Bucky. Considering his next move very carefully, he took took a deep breath before opening his mouth again. “Besides, I’m pretty sure there’s not gonna be a future girlfriend,” No turning back now.
“What are you even talking about? You’re only ninety something, not dead, Steve. What size should I buy the shirt in?”
Steve fidgeted with the hem of his annoyingly tight shirt and tried to stare a hole into the ceiling. He had played this scene over and over again in his head, each time imagining a different scenario and outcome. It had never taken place in a public clothing store.
It was almost as if the most stupid shirt he’d ever seen forced him to utter words he’d never dared say out loud before.
“I think any size they offer would be too small for… them,” he tried very carefully.
Bucky looked at him, surprised. “So there really is a girl and you didn’t bother to tell me?” he almost sounded hurt and even stopped roaming through the shirts. Steve let out a frustrated sigh; leave it to Bucky to not take a broad hint like this.
“It is… complicated. Different. Queer even you could say,” Steve muttered, flustered, looking everywhere but at Bucky because surely this time Bucky had to get it.
“What is it?” Bucky teased “If it has something to do with your age and… you know… and you’re embarrassed about it, there’s lots of help for men our age these days with problems of that kind.”
Steve’s blush darkened as he glared at Bucky.
“Shut up, Buck. Just shut up,” he exclaimed angrily, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His face was burning and he was close to hitting something out of frustration. He took a deep breath and looked at Bucky again, who was watching him confusedly.
“Okay,” Steve said after collecting himself. “I’m trying to tell you that you’re right, there is someone.”
“Okay,” Bucky answered slowly still not fully understanding.
“But it is not a girl.”
If it hadn’t been so important to him, Steve would have laughed as understanding finally dawned on Bucky’s face. His eyes widened and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Steve averted his gaze again, giving him some time.
“Oh,” Bucky said dumbstruck. “Oh. You mean you -”
“Yes. And while we’re on the topic…”
(He remembered Natasha shrugging “Just tell him, it’s not that big a deal anymore”. Steve felt very positively heroic all of sudden. He closed his eyes and counted to ten because shit, this was it.)
“You would look absolutely ridiculous in this shirt.”
He opened his eyes, caught Bucky’s stare wandering from him to the pile of shirts and back again. He didn’t say anything, just looked at Steve for what felt like an eternity. This time Steve held his gaze, awaiting an answer.
“Well,” Bucky contemplated after a while. He looked back at the shirt and agreed with a hint of disappointment “You’re right. The shirt is too small.”
Steve nodded, slowly, because this wasn’t the answer he’d expected.
“But, you’re also wrong,” Bucky continued as he started rummaging through the pile again.
“Right,” Steve said, and then “Am I?”
“Yes you are. I wouldn’t look ridiculous. I think it would actually look really good on me.”
He picked the largest shirt on the pile and nudged over towards Steve, whose head was spinning by now.
“What are you doing?” He asked carefully as Bucky moved closer.
“Buying it, obviously,” Bucky answered. He smiled brightly as he grabbed a very confused Steve Rogers by the collar of his shirt and kissed him with such intensity that Steve had to grasp the nearest table to keep himself steady. A very surprised sound escaped his lips, making Bucky smile against him. Just when Steve started thinking that, hey, he could get used to this, the table gave away under his weight, making him stumble into Bucky and if they haven’t had an audience a few seconds ago, they surely had one now. When they separated (with a loud smacking sound that made Steve’s ears burn hot with embarrassment) Steve still looked confused, but at the same time happily dazed.
Bucky just smirked at him and said “My boyfriend is a superhero, after all.”