Work Text:
Lauren Mallard knows that she had a different name once. She knows that she had a different kind of smile once, too-- a smaller one, with fewer teeth. And less blood. Lauren Mallard knows that she used to have a different life altogether, before she came to StrexCorp. But she doesn't like to think about it very often. After all, that's nothing but the past. One can't just lie around thinking about past memories all the time, right? That's not very productive at all. Especially since trying to think about the past always makes her head hurt. It’s difficult to remember any of it clearly now. Better not to try. So much better not to try.
It used to be much easier for Lauren to remember. But that was years ago, when she was still a brand new employee at StrexCorp, and all the clarity of memory in the world couldn’t make Lauren want to go back to who she was then. She hadn’t even learned to worship the Smiling God yet. She had been so lost, and confused. So frightened. So angry— even at StrexCorp! She had been especially angry at StrexCorp, for reasons she no longer remembers. Lauren doesn’t understand the person she was back then at all, but she knows that she is a much better person now.
It is nice, though, to think about how patient her supervisors were with her back then. Everyone at StrexCorp has always been kind to her. It was her old supervisor, Michael Peach, back when she was still a new hire, who had suggested that she ask the Human Resources Department for additional work training sessions. It will straighten out all those confusing and unproductive thoughts of yours, Michael had said, grinning brilliantly at her as she pulled frantically against the handcuffs he had just gifted her with (he had liked to give his workers nice little presents like that sometimes. He was really such a nice man). It will help you place your trust more fully in the Smiling God, Michael had promised. It would help her with absolutely everything.
He had been right. Of course he had been. And the additional work training sessions really weren’t bad at all. Lauren remembers being nervous about them beforehand, so nervous that she had screamed and begged and sobbed for them to let her go, but it turned out to be a perfectly pleasant experience. Even the room the sessions were held in was quite lovely. Lauren can still remember exactly how that room looked. It was small, with plain cement walls, but the decorators had brightened it up with complex patterns of arterial spray splattered tastefully across the walls. More blood decorated the floor, the steel chair Lauren sat in, the various educational tools that gleamed in the darkly lit room, and even the metal drain in the center of the floor. The drain was also decorated with hanks of human hair. Some of the hair was Lauren’s. Some of the teeth scattered on the floor were too. It was such a beautiful, comfortable room. Lauren remembers it perfectly. Years later, she still has wonderful dreams about it. Sometimes she wakes up screaming from those dreams, which is really very silly of her! Wasting precious minutes of sleep by waking up screaming from perfectly pleasant dreams! Lauren knows that she should be better, and she always makes sure to say an extra long prayer for forgiveness to the Smiling God, before going back to sleep.
But really, those dreams don’t happen very often at all! Normally, Lauren sleeps soundly, and then wakes up refreshed and ready to start another day of work. Lauren loves to work. She loves her coworkers. She loves her town. And more than anything else, she loves the Smiling God. She is so grateful to the Smiling God, who has given her warmth, and happiness, and productivity! So it only makes sense that she should spend the rest of her serving him, and helping others learn how to do the same. Lauren believes that even the most difficult new employee can be taught how to achieve their fullest potential at StrexCorp. After all, hadn’t she been in the same position as them herself, years ago? Lauren too had been worthless, and dirty, and broken. And now look at her! She’s already reached the level of executive, and is rising fast through the ranks. She’s a bright, brilliant young businesswoman, full of ambition and energy and various other internal organs. And Lauren knows that she would never have been able to become her better self— no. Not her better self. Her perfect self. She would never have been able to become her perfect self without StrexCorp.
Lauren knows that she is a much better person now. Lauren knows that she is finally her perfect self. Lauren knows that maintaining perfect selfhood requires hard work, and determination, and occasionally ultraviolence. Lauren knows that she will never question StrexCorp, or she would risk becoming her worthless self again.
Lauren Mallard is so, so much happier now.