Chapter Text
As the miles accumulated in the car, Eijirou Kirishima felt himself grow tenser in the passenger seat. His only outlet for relieving his tension was the envelope in his hand. However, fearing that he would bend it out of shape, he found himself struggling to avoid crushing it. The envelope was partially the source of his tension. It contained the summons for his meeting at the prison. There, he would make a life or death decision surrounding an inmate, someone who was very near and dear to his heart.
Eijirou’s breathing increased as he thought about it. He visualized himself seated in a dark and dank room. Across the table from him was his ex-friend/ex-lover Denki Kaminari, whom he hadn’t seen since his sentencing trial five years ago. How would he look? He imagined that the spark that used to burn so vibrantly in his golden-brown eyes would be replaced with a dull and dim deadened brown. He imagined that that blond hair that glittered ever so vividly in the sunlight would now be stained with grit and grime. It would be dark to the eyes. It would be hard and brittle to the touch. It would be a reminder of the harsh days of solitude he spent in a place that offered only despair. He wondered, no, he entertained, the thought of just not going through with this meeting. He didn’t have to meet with him.
“Eijirou, Earth to Eji,” Katsuki Bakugou, his friend and roommate in the driver seat, called his name. “Eijirou,” he repeated. He looked at him with concern.
“I heard you.” Eijirou raised his voiced as he looked at him.
“You don’t have to go through with this. You can tell him to stay out of your life,” Katsuki said. “I can burn that envelope and we can act like we never got it.” He moved one of his hands off the steering wheel and held it to the side. Small explosions went off at his fingertips.
“And after coming this far?” Eijirou said. They’ve been on the road for several hours. The prison, Neo Tartarus, was located offshore of one of the most remote beaches in the country. After the previous prison’s, Tartarus, destruction seven years ago, a new practically impregnable fortress was built close by.
“We’ve been through this before” Eijirou said and sighed. “I can’t just turn my back on him like everyone else. It’s just not right.”
“How isn’t it right?” Katsuki asked as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. “He helped ruin the lives of so many people.” Katsuki briefly looked at him like he was insane.
“But our history together, our friendship, and my love.” Eijirou’s voice trailed off to a whisper. They rode in silence for several miles. “Maybe there was a reason for it, maybe we missed the signs?” Eijirou said quietly.
“Eijiriou, it’s been five years. You’ve got to let it go. Accept him for the terrorist he is.” Katsuki pressed on. “I won’t blame you for telling them to do their worst. Heck, he probably won’t blame you either. Five years in solitary confinement will drive anyone mad.”
Eijirou needed some air. He rolled down the window. He let this cold breeze cool his mind. Every time they discussed the situation, he struggled to remain calm and focused. Katsuki always sounded so reasonable and blunt about it, but Eijirou felt he was heartless and misunderstood Denki. This meeting would give him the opportunity to finally ask him the question that had plagued his mind for these past few years. Why did he betray him? Why did he betray the expectations of his friends, his family, and society? Did he feel no wrong for deceiving them the entire time they knew him? Did he not feel any sort of remorse for helping the worst criminals in history get out of prison? Did he not want to apologize for all the crimes, chaos, and calamity he enabled for over a decade? He needed to know why he did it. Was it his fault? Was he a bad friend? Was he a bad lover? Where did he go wrong?
He felt Katsuki’s eyes continue to peer at him. It was like he was waiting for a response. But Eijirou wouldn’t give in to him. The discussion always ended at the same spot. Katsuki would criticize his lack of moving on, while Eijirou would express his doubts about Denki. After all their intimate time together, there was no way he purposefully meant to do all that he did. Maybe it was all a mistake. Perhaps he was under control, or maybe he was overstressed by the demands imposed living life as a normal teenager and a pro hero to be while fighting evil at the same time. Maybe all of this combined just made him snap one day.
“Can we please discuss something else?” Eijirou said. He reached for the dial on the radio, turning it on.
Katsuki gripped the steering wheel tightly then loosened his grip. He turned to Eijirou and was only met with the back of his head.
“Today marks the sixth anniversary,” the female newscaster said over the radio. “Of the worst incident to rock our country. Statues of the fallen, along with a wall of honor representing the hundreds of lives lost in the incident, are being revealed at a ceremony later today. Our guest of honor, the one who saved the day, De…” Eijirou hastily turned the radio off as he looked out the window.
Dubbed the “start of the end,” it was a day when the weaknesses of an over reliance of heroes made themselves fully know. On a certain day, mass protests took place as the rift between the rich and poor reached its most peak.The hardest working laborers of the country marched upon the footsteps of the capitol demanding fair compensation for the goods and services they rendered to the elite. The rich entrepreneurs and investors, with their politicians wrapped around their fingers, towered above them safely behind their glass spires and concrete monoliths. They were the rulers in this citadel of capitalism. They ignored the cries of their very workers and consumers. They demanded that they leave the premises and get back to work. When the people only grew more boisterous in their demands, the elites threatened to forcefully remove them from the premises. The people wouldn’t listen and only grew in number.
As the citizens chanted their demands and vandalized property as an expression of their anger, the elites grew frightened. The elites called upon the professional heroes for protection. The superheroes who were sworn to protect the citizens were now being used to harm them. They would be forcibly removed from the premises or jailed. When the heroes took action, dozens of superpowered villains rose up in the ensuing chaos, fully taking advantage of the riotous occasion and using it to hurt both hero and civilian alike. Their motivations, though aligned with the civilians, were more hell-bent on punishment. They wanted to ruthlessly destroy everything the elites stood for. The villains claimed the elites were responsible for putting them on a life of crime. It was the only way to escape living in an unfair system that favored the rich and powerful, but punished the poor and weak.
Eijirou and Katsuki, then heroes in training, were called in for support. When they reached the area they saw a truly gruesome sight. Hostages spanning all walks of life dangled from the roofs of buildings, almost ready to be dropped by the villains who demanded change. The elites debated with the villains for several minutes. When talks broke down, the hostages were dropped. Heroes rushed in to save them. Some were caught while others plunged to their deaths below. A full scale battle soon broke out leaving the area in complete chaos.
In the midst of it, Eijirou saw Denki’s familiar blond hair sticking out from behind a barricade. He was at the center of the capitol building amidst a group of heroes, villains, and elites. Eijirou and Katsuki made their way to him, hoping to assist. When they got there, both boys, then friends of Denki, stopped in their steps. All they could do was stand and watch as he unleashed a powerful blast of electricity that paralyzed all but the villains.
Denki smirked to himself as he received claps on the back from the villains in praise for his efforts. Eijirou couldn’t believe it. He never smiled like that to them, he never told them he was affiliated with villains. They were dorm mates, friends, and lovers. He thought he knew everything about him, but now, he seemed so different.
Eijirou rushed forward hoping to save the victims while also confronting Denki. He hardened his body as he endured the pulsations of electrical current flowing throughout the area. When Denki spotted him, Eijirou could feel the horrified feelings that Denki felt. He saw Denki stumbling backwards as if trying to get away from him. Several villains launched a flurry of projectiles at Eijirou. Eijirou continued to run, fully trusting Katsuki to block them. Katsuki launched several grenades at the projectiles. They detonated, safely leaving Eijirou a clear path to run through.
Eijirou, stronger and faster than Denki, caught up in no time. When he was only a few feet away, he leapt and lunged at Denki. They rolled for several feet before they stopped. They were a mass of limbs. Denki moved frantically. He hoped to escape, but Eijirou was on top him. Eijirou pinned him down as he peered into his eyes. Denki wept as he looked everywhere but at him. Eijirou wanted to move. He wanted to get off him to free him. He couldn’t handle looking at his friend in pain, however, the situation demanded that he remain on top of him. In his periphery, he saw that Denki’s electricity was fading, the hero’s started to regain movement. He turned his face back to Denki. Denki met his eyes with a look of abject horror. It was a look that, to this day, tormented Eijirou.
“Eijirou,” Katsuki spoke from his side. Eijirou wiped his eyes. He was surprised they were wet, he didn’t know he cried while he reminisced. As he became acclimated to his surroundings, he realized they were at the entrance of the prison. The billowing thunderous clouds above hid the sunlight. It cast the structure in an ominous shadow. The barbed wire around the towering walls looked like snakes ready to rear their heads and entangle any escapees. When thunder rumbled, Eijirou jumped backwards, frightened. The reverberations made it sound like the prison was moaning, like it was in pain from the sickening criminals that were infecting it within.
“You don’t have to go, you don’t have to give him the chance for freedom and redemption,” Katsuki spoke as he unlocked the door.
“I have to meet him, I still need to know why.” Eijirou trailed off. His hand gripped the door handle while his body remained motionless. He considered remaining where he sat. He almost wanted to tell Katsuki to put the car in motion and take them back home. However, it felt like his mind wasn’t going to let him betray his feelings and remain there. He couldn’t form the words needed to tell Katsuki to leave.
“I don’t understand how you still have feelings for him. Even after all that he’s done,” Katsuki said. He spoke facing the window.
“I don’t,” Eijirou said. After a pause, he gripped the door handle and pushed it open. A harsh gust of wind blew his long red hair in his face, covering his eyes as he looked downwards.
“Here,” Katsuki spoke. He tossed a hair tie towards Eijirou. It landed in his lap.
“Thanks,” Eijirou said absentmindedly. It wasn’t until he looked at it that he suddenly felt emotional. He tried to keep the tears from falling.
“I knew it,” Katsuki said. “You still feel for him.”
Eijirou wanted to grimace and lash out in anger at Katsuki for the cruel game he played. He wanted to yell at him for toying with his emotions just to prove a point. However, he couldn’t. As he stared at the hair tie decorated with Denki’s lightning bolt insignia, and his handwriting in small yet visible cursive letters, he felt his heart break into a hundred pieces. All he could see through his teary eyes was Denki, smiling so brightly at him as he thrust the badly wrapped package at him. He had become bashful suddenly as he turned his face away while waiting for Eijirou to open it. When it was finally taken out, Denki mumbled and apologized for how cheap and uncool it was, however, Eijirou quickly shut him up by hugging him. It was such an awesome gift he thought, and he told him how he’d always wear it, so he could always remember him and feel like he was keeping him close. Denki was enamored by his statement.
“This was the last thing he gave me,” Eijirou said as he rose to stand outside the car. The memory of the gift giving moment was still fresh on his mind. He stared at the glimpse of the hair tie in his hair through the side view mirror.
“I know,” Katsuki said.
“I never got the chance to tell him how much it.” Eijirou quickly corrected himself. “I never told him how much he meant to me. Do you think things would have turned out differently if I did?”
“Have you considered getting some help,” Katsuki asked.
“I don’t need help Katsuki, I need to know why,” Eijirou stressed.
“Don’t you get tired of asking the “what ifs” and the “whys”? It’s not healthy to keep asking the same questions over and over again. I get tired of how you mope around, day in and day out, asking me where did we go wrong,” Katsuki said.
“I don’t have time for this,” Eijirou said as he got out and slammed the door.
“Eijirou, get back here,” Katsuki yelled.
“Go away,” Eijirou shouted.
Katsuki growled as he got out the car and ran towards Eijirou. He yanked him so hard that he turned him around.
“Today is the end of it.” Katsuki struggled to keep from yelling. “You go in there and tell him off, tell him everything from how he hurt you, hurt me, and hurt everyone we knew. Tell him that you hate him and everything he did and stands for.” Katsuki said.
Eijirou stood still in shock. It was the first time he’d heard Katsuki say his feelings about Denki.
“You got that,” Katsuki said as he calmed down.
Eijirou nodded.
“Yeah right,” Katsuki said. “After all these years, there’s no way you’d agree so fast and without any opposition.”
Eijirou was tired, he didn’t want to put up a fight but he nodded in agreement anyway.
“You’re probably gonna go in there and fall head over heels for him. The moment he opens his mouth,” Katsuki continued. “You’re too soft and kind to make this decision.”
“I can make the decision,” Eijirou said as he walked towards the entrance. He would have to decide whether Denki should stay imprisoned for the rest of his life, or be killed. It wouldn’t be a physical death. His mind and personality would be wiped. He would be someone new. Eijirou walked with one thought on his mind. What was better, living life alone exiled on a prison island until death, or to be freed but no longer yourself? As he thought about it, he saw Denki’s tormented face from his memory. He wanted to free him.