Work Text:
“Hey, did you know that Thor is head over heels for Bruce?”
...Did he hear that right?
Bruce suddenly felt nauseous, barely noticing as the coffee mug fell from his hand and splintered into pieces by his feet, or as Tony turned around and spoke to him. Everything was going so fast, but still so slow. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. Even as Tony stepped toward him, saying something that looked an awful lot like “I’m sorry,” he couldn’t understand what was really happening.
Then hands were on his shoulders. Warm hands, gentle. Thor’s. He felt time start to shift back into place as he was gently turned around, already feeling a blanket of calm settle over him. That changed the second he caught a glimpse of Thor’s face, the panic drowning him again as soon as he comprehended the concern he read on the god’s features. There was nothing he could do except stand there and clutch the biceps of the man he’d been in love with for over three years. But somehow, Thor’s presence was so fucking counterproductive while Bruce was trying to calm down. He wondered why. Maybe because the dude who he was in love with was practically holding him! Did Thor know that Tony had just told Bruce that he loved him? Did he know that Bruce loved him back? Jesus, this was complicated. Nothing made sense!
Then he realized that Thor was talking to him, but his mouth was moving as if in slow motion. He made out a ‘Bruce’ on his lips, an ‘are you okay?’ accompanied by a soft squeeze of the shoulders. And God, he melted, the panic leaving him in a wave. He forced himself to nod as the world around him started to realign and a breath trembled over his lips. He could hear Thor now, the god’s voice sounding a lot shakier than it had looked. “Bruce, are you okay?” He nodded again, his head feeling too heavy on his neck. “Are you sure?” There was something in Thor’s voice that Bruce couldn’t pinpoint, something that made him want to fall down, to give in, to be honest.
So, he shook his head.
And then he was being gently guided down the hallway, one of Thor’s hands on the small of his back, the other on his shoulder. He was whispering reassurances in Bruce’s ear the entire way to the god’s room, quiet “the sun’s going down”s and “it’ll be okay soon”s. The words seemed to help a lot, assisting Bruce’s mind in finally accepting the calmness of Thor’s embrace. It would be okay soon. It was all going to be fine. The sun was getting low. They reached the door to Thor’s bedroom and the god took his hand off of Bruce’s shoulder to turn the handle and push it open. “Sit down on the bed, I’ll be right back.” A few moments passed without Thor’s touch, but when it returned, it was accompanied by the heavy warmth of a thick wool blanket. Thor’s weight was carefully lowered onto the mattress next to him, his arm gently wrapping the blanket tighter around Bruce. “Are you okay?” He whispered. Bruce shrugged. His breathing and heart rate were fine, the panic had temporarily subsided, and he wasn’t changing shades; but something still felt off. “Is there anything that I am able to do for you?”
“Can we just-” Bruce’s voice cracked, and he hummed in embarrassment before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. He could do this. The sun was going down, it was okay. Sun. Real low. Thor. Here. Okay. “Just stay like this for a little while?”
“Of course.”
When Bruce woke up, he was spooning the god of thunder.
His last memory of the night before was Thor’s arms around him, but he didn’t remember falling asleep, or even laying down. But there they were, Thor’s back pressed against Bruce’s chest. Besides the recurring panic caused by him spooning with his best friend/the man he was in love with, his first thought was that he didn’t quite expect Thor to be a little spoon. Huh. It was nice. He could feel Thor stirring in his arms, and a dull sense of loss filled his gut, for the warmth that he was experiencing from the god’s presence was something that he hadn’t allowed himself to crave in a long time. He wanted to beg, he wanted to break.
Please stay with me, please. I love you. Please love me back.
But he was weak. He couldn’t believe that anyone as good as Thor, as smart or as brave, would ever want him. Maybe Tony was just trying to get into his head with the statement from the night before. Why would he lie to Bruce like that? He thought they were friends. God, why did he even trust anyone to begin with? All he got was hurt over and over and over again.
Before he knew what was happening, he was standing next to the bed. He could feel the tears running down his face, but he was too overwhelmed to fight them off, too broken by his own thoughts. Thor was awake now, propped on one elbow as he blinked sluggishly at him.
“Bruce?” His voice was low and careful, but it held a slight quiver. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He started to sit, reaching with one hand towards the scientist at his bedside, and Bruce took that as his cue. He ran.
It was a lot earlier than he had thought upon awakening, light barely peeking over the buildings on the horizon. That helped him sprint through the halls without gathering any attention, but he still had an issue. He could hear Thor’s footsteps following him, Thor’s voice calling after him. He burst through the door to the stairwell and started to descend, the walls feeling as though they were closing in. He could feel a tightness in his chest, and it startled him. The other guy was the only thing that could make this situation worse. He had to control himself, it was the only way to keep everyone around him safe. His panic was fueling him in a way that he had never felt when he was still Bruce, and that was scaring him even more than his doubts about his ‘friends’. After running for what felt like hours, dodging into alleys and climbing fences, doing all that he could to get away, away, away, he tripped over an uneven area of sidewalk, the ground suddenly coming towards his face all too fast.
And then everything stopped. Warm arms were around him, holding him just inches from the cement. Of course, it was Thor. Fuck. Bruce squirmed and thrashed, trying everything except letting the other guy take control as he screamed for the god to let him go, to stop trying to calm him down, to leave him. But he didn’t really want to be alone, and he knew that Thor knew that. So when Thor lifted him to his feet, giving extra support as he realized that Bruce was favoring his left ankle, he gave in. He slumped into Thor’s arms, wanting to push him away but already well aware that that was just the panic talking. He let out a choked sob onto Thor’s shirt and felt the taller man pull him closer, rubbing absent circles into Bruce’s shoulder blades.
“Talk to me,” Thor whispered. “What happened?”
Bruce only cried harder.
“Was it a dream? It’s not real. You are safe here.” He shook his head against Thor’s shoulder and could sense the god thinking of some other way to help. “It’s okay, Bruce. It’ll be okay, whatever is wrong. Whatever entity, or thought, or dream is plaguing you, it will be okay. You’re the strongest Avenger, Bruce. Not because of the other guy, but because of the resilience that forms the roots of who you are. I know you can handle this. Just let me know how I am able to help you.”
The words sounded practiced, but Bruce brushed it off, opting just to latch his arms tighter around the god’s waist. “I’m in love with you,” he murmured, his mouth almost flush against Thor’s tear-soaked shirt. Thor’s hands froze on Bruce’s back as he drew in a sharp breath, and Bruce almost started to spiral again. What if he had been right about Tony lying, instead of it just being paranoia? What if Thor didn’t love him? Why would he in the first place?
Then Thor’s hands withdrew completely, and Bruce’s fears were practically confirmed. But time seemed to slow after that, because Thor wasn’t pushing Bruce away, or pulling back in rejection. His hands were moving to cup Bruce’s cheeks, brushing off a few stray tears that hadn’t gotten wiped onto Thor’s shirt. And then he was leaning down, his lips gently touching the center of Bruce’s forehead before retreating hastily. “Bruce Banner,” he whispered, tilting the scientist’s chin up carefully, “I am in love with you.”