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The world before seemed to only revolve around Resasuke until Retsuko was pushed out of orbit. Without the Space Cadet around, she had slowly adjusted herself back to her mundane routine as a single woman. However, she also opened her eyes to some overlooked changes. The office was quieter without Kabae’s loud presence and a bit mundane without Tsubone’s wicked eye to add to Director Ton’s strenous work environment. Lunch with Feneko was the better part of the day but the extra empty chair in front of them was very noticeable without Haida around to add his input.
Both Retsuko and Feneko had agreed to visit Haida together on a Sunday. When the day finally came, both women had gone to buy a get well present nearby the hospital Haida was staying in. Feneko had chosen the flowers, being the one who knew the type of colors Haida prefered while Retsuko awkwardly chose a vase; not knowing anything of Haida’s likes. Retsuko would lie if she didn’t say the trip to the hospital felt somewhat awkward. To her knowledge, this was the second time she had hung around Feneko outside work now that she thought about it. This was first time, however, Retsuko had hung with Feneko one on one. It was also the first time she was going to see Haida outside of work. To top it all off, today was Sunday; a day where she didn’t want to see anyone or anything that reminded her of work.
Once they entered the hospital, Feneko had asked for a trade to hold the vase instead, giving the flowers to Retsuko upfront. Retsuko half-heartedly agreed, not understanding why there was need to do. They continued onto the elevator, silent all the way. Feneko pushed the floor button with her free hand and said nothing as she walked to the back side of the elevator to join Retsuko.
“Y’know Haida likes you right?” Feneko stated out of the blue at the close of the elevator. Retsuko almost dropped the “Get Well” bouquet of flowers.
“Wait! What?”
“Just thought you should know.” added Feneko. She stood still holding the empty vase for the flowers.
“And you’re telling me this now?”
Feneko smirked, she turned to face Retsuko. “Don’t tell me you never noticed. It was always pretty obvious.”
Retsuko glanced down at the flowers, feeling a slight blush warm her cheeks. “Nothing ever seemed out of the ordinary.”
“The whole laptop fix ringing any bells?” mentioned Feneko.
“That was just a one time thing. I didn’t think it was serious.” Retsuko proclaimed, turning her head away from Feneko and clutching the bouquet a little tighter. Feneko didn’t move.
“Teasing a guy with praise like Tsunoda until his face almost blows up sure sounds like you don’t know a thing. Mhmm.”
Retsuko’s mouth was dry. Her eyes were widening. “I-I didn’t know.”
“I know. Don’t worry. I’m only messing with you. It wouldn’t be like you to do something like that if you knew.” Restuko didn’t respond. Feneko took her phone out of her purse on her side and started scrolling through it. “The whole Space Cadet thing really hurt him big time. This idiot probably did something stupid to get himself this sick.”
Retsuko’s features softened as well as her hold of the bouquet. She finally turned to face Feneko, looking concerned. “Does he know?”
Feneko didn’t look away from her phone. “I texted him a few days ago. He already knows about your break up. I’m just wondering if he’s still on his meds and delirious enough to say something he might regret.”
“Ugh! You had to tell me all that now! What should I do?”
The elevator’s bell rung. As the doors slid open, Feneko powered off her phone and was the first to step out.
“Don’t know. Whatever you say to him Retsuko, just go easy on him. I wouldn’t want another day in hell with Ton.”
While Retsuko was glad Haida wasn’t delirious as Feneko had imagined, she was glad most of her anxious thoughts vanished when Haida had started talking to both her and Feneko like he normally would. All that overthinking had made her forget Haida was a friend. Casually talking to him was something she would do every day when he was working. However, it was going to be a bit different with her new information.
Once Feneko give her very obvious cue to leave, questions plagued Retsuko’s mind right before Haida could confess. What things had she done to make him think this way? Hearing Haida say he had an idealized view of her was mind baffling for Retsuko. He was correct to say he didn’t know anything about her. There wasn’t anything special that made her stand out from anyone else at work. What little she let out about herself at work wasn’t anything interesting either. She wasn’t cute like Tsunoda or sexy like Washimi and Gori. Just what could anyone find so interesting about a person you knew nothing about?
Nonetheless, Retsuko couldn’t help but relate to Haida on that note. She had done the same thing to someone else. Thankfully, Haida was smarter than her and Retsuko was glad he didn’t jump into conclusions like she did with Resasuke. Instead, he did something Retsuko did not expect. It was something that Retsuko realized she did not do when she was with Resasuke. He said he wanted to know her better. That instant made her realize she needed to give a good answer to him. Yet, she still didn’t feel prepared to give one. The imaginary clock in her head was ticking making her face flush as she waited for Haida’s real words.
“I’ve come to cherish... No no. That’s not... “
She felt her cheeks warm up. It felt like a scene right out of a typical high school romance drama. The only difference being that she didn’t know how this was supposed to end.
“What I want to say is I really like you Retsuko. A lot. Do you think, maybe, you’d like to go out some time?”
And... that was it. Retsuko had to smile. That was brave of him. “How long have you felt this way?”
Haida did not answer immediately. He turned his head away from Retsuko, looking somewhat embarassed. “Who knows really? It really took a while for me to sort my feelings out and realize what I felt.”
Retsuko opened her mouth to speak but closed it. It was now or never. “Haida.”
Haida quickly turned, responding quite loudly. “Y-yes?”
She was a bit taken a back. “I um, I appreciate that you told me how you feel about me. I really do. However, I don’t think I can actually give you an exact answer.”
“Huh?”
“What I’m trying to say is, I need time. A lot of it. Please understand.”Retsuko took a deep breath. She wanted to be honest. “I just broke up my last relationship and the idea of a new relationship is something I have to really consider.” She sighed, avoiding Haida’s eyes and grabbing the hem of her skirt tightly. ”This is a bit embarrassing to say but I’ll be honest. The truth is I broke up my first relationship. I don’t have a lot of experience in dating or relationships so my heart still feels really crummy. And I don’t know how long it’ll be until I feel like my complete self again.” Retsuko softened her grip. Still not being able to face Haida, she brought a paw to cheek, taking the moment to feel the heat radiating from it. “Just look at me. Saying it like that feels even more embarrassing.”
“I don’t think so.”
That comment brought her eyes to Haida’s. “Huh?”
“That doesn’t make you weird. It’s nothing to be ashamed of either. I think you’re great. Just the way you way are.”
Strange. Hearing that made her embarrassment disappear and replaced it with a weird feeling. She didn’t know what it was but it made her feel good. Kind of? Just leave it to Haida to surprise her again today.
She realized she hadn’t responded. Retsuko blinked and cleared her throat. “My point is... dating someone else right now, is far off my mind. I really don’t even know what I want in a boyfriend. Hell, I don’t know if I want one at all anymore.”
Haida blinked, slowly looking away from her but maintaining a neutral smile. “Okay. That’s... understandable.”
“That’s not to say I’ll never want to date again. I guess if the right person came along, then maybe I would give it a shot.”
“Well that’s a good thing.” he laughed off. While his
Retsuko should’ve ended it there but there was an something telling her she wasn’t done. “Haida.”
Haida stopped talking. He faced her now, looking curiously but unsure.
“What I want to say is... while right now is not a good time for me,” Retsuko hesistated, astonished at the words she was saying. “if you want... would you mind asking me in the future? Until I can give you a proper answer that is.”
Retsuko blushed, surprised at her own words just as Haida was. There was a comfortable silence between them. Haida gave a soft smile.
“I’ll give you as much time as you want.” He put a paw to his arm, slightly rubbing it. “Just don’t mind me. I’ll be sure to give your space.”
Retsuko’s jaw dropped. Okay. That ruined the moment. “Wait. What?”
Haida sheepishly turned back to her. “I made things awkward. So if you don’t want to hang around me for some time, I’ll completely understand.”
Retsuko roughly got off her seat, balling her paws as she spoke. “No. Th-that’s not what I meant at all!”
“Hm?” Haida blinked, surprised at the outburst.
Retsuko planted her hands firmly onto the edge of Haida’s bed. “It’s not like I don’t want to be around you. I still want to be your friend Haida. Breaks wouldn’t be fun without you there.”
Haida sat wide eyed, stunned from her words. He was not able to say anything immediately either. He gulped, feeling the present blush in his face and opened his mouth. “You sure that’s okay?”
“Positive.” Retsuko sighed as she let go of the bed. She was silent as she sat back down in her seat, putting her paws on top of the other. “You said you wanted to know me better right? I don’t think you can do that if we avoid each other and pretend nothing happened.”
“You’re right. That does sound a lot better. Sorry.” he added as he straightened his back and sighed in relief. He turned his head to her, yet shyly avoided her gaze.
“Thank you Retsuko. For listening to me that is.”
She beamed. “Oh. No problem.”
Retsuko took one look at her phone. “Oh. I think I better get Feneko. Just as Retsuko was about to get off her seat, Haida opened his mouth but promptly shut it seeing her movement. Retsuko had seen him. She smiled and went back to her position.
“You need something?”
“Can you do me one thing? Nothing rash! As friends, nothing remotely related to, um, what I just told you.”
“Sure. What is it?”
Haida’s eyes met hers with a eager look in them. She winced, moved by the readiness he emitted. “Let’s hang out. As friends I mean. Nothing remotely like a date. I promise!” Her features softened. He took a deep breath and again blushed. “But not in a company party. Something outside of work. Something normal. And not just you and me. Let’s bring Feneko along too. We can all go have some fun.”
“Yeah! Okay.”
His ears perked up and Retsuko could have sworn she saw his tail wag. “You mean it?”
“Yeah! Sounds like fun! Let’s just wait until you’re all better then.”
“Ah. I’ll get better in no time, you’ll see▬” Haida stopped, wide eyed and not moving at all. Startled at his stillness, Retsuko cast a paw to help only to be cut short by a loud sneeze. Some visible snot trailing down Haida’s nostrils. Retsuko let out a small laugh. Haida’s face visibly burned through his fur like a tomato. Retsuko apologized as she handed Haida tissues from his nightstand. As Haida hurriedly wiped his nose, Retsuko took the chance to get up and tell Haida she was going to get Feneko. Poor Haida could only call out for her not to get Feneko. The whole scene made Retsuko realize something. There was no drama. There was also nothing to worry about. Retsuko smiled, seeing Feneko in the distance with the flowers in hand. She had a good feeling that she and Haida were both going to fine.