Chapter Text
Delia was hurrying through Nonnatus house in the early hours of the morning. She wouldn’t usually be making the short journey from her room to Patsy’s at this sort of hour – with Patsy sharing her room with Trixie it wasn’t safe – but Delia had had a nightmare, and then she heard Trixie leave at the call of a labouring mother on the other end of the phone line.
It felt good to know that soon she would be in Patsy’s arms, but there was a bittersweet feeling underneath it all that Delia didn’t like to acknowledge. This was what they had been waiting for since their first kiss, since their first date, since the first time they saw each other and thought “I hope she’ll be my friend,” because they didn’t dare wish for anything different from friendship. But sometimes when Delia was in her room and Patsy was in hers, it felt like they were further apart than when Delia was in Wales or when Patsy was in Hong Kong. Delia tried to remain grateful for what they had. She was glad that she could see her girlfriend every day, and brush legs with her under the table as they ate, and most of all she was glad that Phyllis kept quietly making a rota which meant they were often home together.
There were still moments though, where Delia felt like they were both ghosts, and she couldn’t direct her frustration at the geography of it all because that wasn’t what was keeping them apart.
Delia knocked on the door softly, but she didn’t wait for a response before she opened it.
“That was quick.” Patsy commented; the usually crisp sounds of her speech muffled by sleep. “It’s still dark out.”
“Hold me, cariad?” Delia asked.
“Deels!” Patsy quickly made room for her girlfriend to curl up in her arms.
Delia climbed into bed and leaned against Patsy. Her eyes pooled with tears as she felt her girlfriend place a soft kiss on the back of her head.
“Would you like to talk about it?” Patsy asked.
Delia shook her head.
“Tell me what to do.” Patsy said.
“Just hold me.”
Patsy tightened her embrace a little. “I’m right here. I’ve got you.”
***
Patsy plated up some food and - ignoring Nurse Cranes disapproving “You’ll encourage the rats to come and stay, lass.” - took it upstairs to Trixie. Patsy was even less of a fan of the idea of crumbs in the bedroom than Phyllis was, but she was feeling sentimental and poor Trixie had looked exhausted. She’d come back from last night's delivery and gotten into bed with barely an hour until she had to get up again. Though Patsy was grateful that the baby had taken it’s time because her and Delia had fallen asleep in bed together and Delia had only left the room a minute before Tixie came back. That after Tixie had got back from her rounds and gone straight to sleep, hoping to get some rest before her Tuesday evening “class”. She’d slept right through dinner.
In their room, Trixie was already awake and putting on her makeup in the mirror.
“Room service!” Patsy called out.
Trixie turned around, saw the plate of food and smiled. “Patsy, you absolute angel!”
“That’s me.” she replied, setting it down on the bedside table.
“You know,” Trixie started, as she set about fixing her hair. “I actually arrived home about an hour before I came to bed.”
Patsy’s chest tightened. “Oh?” she choked out, immediately regretting her too-high-pitched-to-be-casual tone.
“Yes. I saw Delia curled in your bed, and thought the two of you didn’t look like you wanted to be interrupted.”
“Trixie, I-” Patsy started, and then forced herself to become calm. She would deal with the emotional side of this afterwards. “Delia had a bad dream. She didn’t want to be alone.”
“So you were just being a good friend?” Trixie asked, with a teasing tone that Patsy didn’t quite register. “I do hope you’d let me share your bed if I had a bad dream.”
“Yes,” Patsy said vehemently. “Of course I would, I’d do the same for any friend.”
“Patsy…” Trixie said, going over to put her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “From the point of view of one woman to another, I really couldn’t care less about what you do with the pretty Welsh nurse from down the hallway. And from the point of view of being your friend, I want to hear all about it.”
“Really?” Patsy asked, feeling like it was a silly thing to say, but at the same time having no other words to offer.
“Truly.” Trixie promised. “Now I need to hurry up and eat, or else that will have been two meals I’ve missed today. And when I get back this evening, you can tell me what I’ve missed. I warn you, Patsy, I want details.”
“Details.” Patsy parroted, and glanced at the door.
“Oh, go and find her then. You clearly have more important things to do than talk to me.”
Patsy wrapped her arms around Trixie tightly. “You have no idea what this means to me, Trixie. I’ve been so afraid, and I’ve had to be so careful of what I said to you. And now you know.”
“And now I know.” Tixie smiled. “Go on.”
She could barely repress her laugh as Patsy hurried away.
If only Patsy knew quite how long Trixie had been wondering how to bring this up; she’d been suspicious for years.