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“Peter calm down.” He heard a familiar voice.
“I need to…” Peter mumbled. “ I gotta go.” Someone caught his shoulders. He saw Scott’s worried face. Scott could help him get home. “Scott… I need to go home ... I need to- need to pay rent... I got all the money for it. Ben will be so - he’ll be so mad.” He choked and gripped on to Scott’s biceps.
“Hey. Hey kid, why would you need to… you help pay the rent…” Scott said and was connecting the dots. “Peter you just help right? You don’t pay the whole thing.” Scott tried to look Peter in the eye, he kept looking down. “You just help, right? Oh please tell me I’m right… if I only have to be right about this one thing please let it be this.” Scott knew how hard it was to pay rent. A kid shouldn’t have to worry about that. Peter didn’t answer.
“He provides for so long . It’s.. it’s my turn.” Peter mumbled. “I’m not even his kid...he never wanted kids… he and May didn’t want kids… they don’t… they didn’t want me… I was just some retarded kid they got stuck with..” Peter said quietly and was releasing his grip on Scott. Scott held on tighter.
“Oh god. Oh god. Parker… you’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be-“
“I’m so messed up. I always screw up so bad . I can’t- I can’t do anything right. “ Peter mumbled to himself looking down.
“No, no Parker. Peter! Calm down you don’t need to do anything!” Scott said. How could this kid be this determined to do something he hated? He didn’t even need to do it!
“No, I-I-“
“Parker!” Tony’s voice cut through and Scott let go and moved back as Peter whimpered. Gripping something. He needed to hold on . Hold on and not let go.
A hand grabbed his arm sharply and he wanted to lash out. It was too tight. It restricted his movements. But he didn’t cause it grounded him, it was the only thing that he had right now. He just wanted to be held, like he held Cooper, like uncle Ben used to. But that was never gonna happen again… tears burned in the back of his eyes. He twisted his arm and gripped the hand right back.
“You need to listen. Come back!” Mr.Stark’s voice cut through again, Peter waited a minute before blinking blurry tears out of his eyes. He saw Clint in the doorway with Scott a little behind Mr.Stark, they both looked shaken and sad.Bruce had backed up against the monitors leaning heavily against them with a sigh of relief.
“You back?” Mr.Stark asked and Peter looked at him in the eye.
“I think…” Tony gave another pointed looked ”Not quite there yet.” he said truthfully. God it was like that one time he tried to lie to Daredevil about his age. God he swore that guy was creepy sometimes.
“Okay...okay..” Tony trailed off studying him like everyone else in the room. There was a stretching silence that he couldn’t take. It was too much, too drowning and suffocating. Why were they looking at him like that. It looked like every kid in class when they were trying to find the answer to a complex equation or trying dissect something with their eyes before the lab started. He didn’t like it when he was the equation or the dead chicken on the table. Wait…
“Can I go home?” he choked out and immediately got a:
“NO!” from the other four adult males and it was so loud that Peter’s semi-sensitive hearing right now made him flinch back.
“Why would you even want to?” Scott asked and Peter’s head snapped up. Scott had the worried look again.
“He abuses you.” Clint gritted out still trying to decipher something. How can this kid be so….so innocent, so good, not acting out. There’s always Spiderman . His mind supplied, but that wasn’t something he did for himself. He was such a good role model to his own kids, so how the fuck did he come from one of the shittiest backgrounds? Spiderman didn’t care about what other people thought about him, but Peter? Peter was sensitive, it didn’t make any sense of how the two could be related in anyway, much less be each other. They were literally opposites... Oh ...Spiderman was a way for Peter to get away. Get away from the shitshow that was his life, albeit Clint couldn’t call Spiderman’s life any better. He was constantly criticized by the public, but unlike Peter Parker Spidey didn’t care what other people thought about him. SPiderman was Peter’s escape from all the responsibilities and expectations in his life. Spiderman didn’t have anyone or anything to answer to. Peter did.
“He doesn’t abuse me.” Peter insisted. “He just…” he hunched in on himself and they were all expecting an answer. “He just…”
“Makes you pay a rent that he should be paying?” Scott supplies unhelpfully.
“No, I need to pay it. It teaches me how hard it is to provide for someone.” he glared a little, but he couldn’t blame Scott. He shouldn’t be paying for it.
“Yeah, but the whole thing?” Bruce asked and he looked like he was gonna be freaking out with worry.
“I guess...he doesn’t hit me when I don’t pay it he just…” Peter mumbled the rest.
“Didn’t quite catch that kid.” Tony said and looked at him pointly. Peter shrunk a little.
“He calls me things. I don’t like it, but he calls me things I don’t like if I don’t. But I do, and he doesn’t bother me. He doesn’t even know I’m there if it’s paid. I like it like that. It’s easier. To be Spiderman and to- to…” Let go. Cause Peter was sure he was gonna lose Unlce Ben. It was a recurring thing with him. If he distanced himself now, the loss would be more cushioned. He could move quicker.
“What does he call you?” Peter shrugged.
“Retard?” Peter flinched a little and shrunk in himself more.
“Tony!” Bruce nearly screamed.
“Stupid? Brat? Screw up? What Bruce? That’s what he said! Not me” Tony said and Bruce hit him hard. “Okay, Okay. I’m sorry, but hey Spiderkid. You’re not. You are the Spiderkid . You help people. And it’s okay to mess up. Don’t listen to that asshole. Just pretend he’s one of your haters. You ignore them pretty easy.” It was true. Tony had seen Spiderman fight a villain while JJJ was calling him a menace on the big screen. It shouldn’t be that hard. “My dad was an ass too, you know.”
“That’s Spiderman!” Peter all but screamed “I can’t do anything, you can’t do anything. He’s not another hater. I looked up to him, like a-like a dad and he spins around and tells me I was just another mess up. It’s not like your dad Mr.Stark. He actually told me he cared about me multiple time before May had died, and I find out they were- they were just lying to-to me. I’d rather have it-have it like you .” Peter said. Well shit, he’d rather have his life too if that was the case. Howard never told him that he loved him, but to have that love and the same person rip it away from him like some asshole . Not to mention how Peter handled it. By helping people get home . Oh...his aunt never returned that day did she? She went out and never got home. Wow.
“Don’t-don’t tell the others… Please?” Peter asked meekly. The four men looked at eachother.
“And why the hell not?” Clint asked blandly.
“Yeah, there must be something we can do-” Scott was cut off.
“ If that asshole was hitting him, but he’s not so we can’t do a damn thing.” Tony grumbled and crossed his arms. “But we can help you.” Peter glared a little, but there was more confusion.
“How?” his voice cracked a little.
“Financial.” Tony said like it was obvious. Scott perked up. “For Spiderman services.”
“I’m a vigilante not an Avenger.” he said blandly back and Tony groaned. This kid .
“Fine for babysitting and tutoring our kids.” Clint said instead and Scott chimed in.
“Yeah, and you can stay here...right?” he looked to Tony. Tony nodded once.
“Anytime you need to you know..get away.” Bruce put a hand on his shoulder.
“W-Wow... Thank you .”Peter almost smiled before Tony spoke again.
“But...if it gets worse,” Tony spoke slowly like he didn’t want to break him “Tell us. Deal?” Peter nodded frantically then turned sheet white.
“Cooper...I-I freaked out..-”
“Don’t worry he’s okay kid. God jeez, can you think about yourself for like two seconds here.” Clint said and walked over to ruffled his hair. “But he is worried about you, don’t worry he’s got that covered.” Peter breathed out a laugh. Scott smiled.
“Sorry..” Peter said looking at his folded hands in his lap. “Can I...Can I still take care..take care of them?” Peter asked hopefully. “Even if I’m like..” he gestured to himself “this.”
“Yes!” Scott and Clint said together.
“You probably are healthier for them then we are.” Clint scoffed
“You’re like their hero!” Scott said happily “They don’t stop asking when they can see you again.”Peter shook his head.
“They don’t shut up about you . Don’t let them down.” Peter said seriously. Scott and Clint looked at him for a minute.
“Okay.” Peter smiled.