Chapter Text
Your name is DAVE STRIDER. You’ve just turned 18 eight months ago, you still haven’t met your SOULMATE, and you work as an ASSASSIN with your BRO. Speaking of which, your bro, just yesterday, said that you had another job today. Specifically, the first job that you’ll be doing all on your own. According to him, the person you’ve been assigned to is a male troll around your age. This troll’s name is Karkat Vantas, and his assassination has been ordered for the following: mutant blood color, being apart of a group against the Empress, and causing the death of many of those who protected the Empress against their group's past attacks. Although, there have been many rumors that he had nothing to do with it, and he only deals with protests. Apparently, he’s actually only co-leader of the said group, and his death is supposed to be a threat towards their leader. You feel bad about killing him for these reasons, but they’d probably be caught by the Empress’s culling drones in the future eventually, so it’s not like it matters. Also the fact you yourself might get “culled” if you didn’t accept.
Moving on, you quickly get out of bed, take a shower, get dressed, and wait around until Bro finally returns to the apartment. When he gets there, he opens your door into your room and gestures for you to get the fuck out. You rush to your car and speed off to your destination with many swords, and other sharp objects, in the trunk.
Bro makes you share a car with him, most likely to be one of the reasons you haven’t immediately moved out to escape his abuse. Oh, you didn’t mention that? Well, now it’s on the table, and everyone can see it. You probably shouldn’t be taking it so lightly, but you try not to think about it right now. You're about to start work, so it’d be nice to forget about that for as long as you can. While you were running out of the apartment to possibly avoid him, he handed you a picture of Karkat Vantas. You glance at it in one of the cup holders every now and again, transferring how he looked into your brain.
He looks… attractive? He has a round face you want to do that weird thing grandmas do to your cheeks to, and short nubby horns you can barely see through that goddamn bedhead. Does his hair always look like that? Oh, and a scowl. You can almost hear him growl through the picture. Or some weird troll noise that they might make when they’re angry. Yeah, sure, you can definitely see it.. Wait, no. you definitely can’t. You’re not gay right? You mean, then again, you kind of did admit to the fact he’s attractive. (and just went on a rant about his appearance) But, people can say that. It’s just a fact. It doesn’t mean that you’re attracted to him, you think. And even if you were, you couldn’t do anything about it. Bro would definitely kick your ass for it if he found out. You don't wanna make your situation worse. You'd like to stay alive until you can finally find a place to live, thank you very much. Oh, wait, you should probably pay attention to the road.
Next topic, you still haven't met your soulmate. Apparently, the first thing your soulmate will say to you is, “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU SACK OF NOOK DRAINING HOOFBEAST SHIT?”
Well, that’s definitely colorful language. Also, judging from the use of troll terminology, you can see they’re most likely a troll. Ever since it showed up on your skin, you’ve wondered many things about this mysterious damsel. That is if they are female. You hope they are. Not because you've got anything against homosexuals, though. You’re straight. Straight up heterosexual. Straight as a rod. Like a piece of spaghetti that can’t ever be boiled, just break apart into a bunch of little straight uncooked spaghetti babies. N o t h o m o s e x u a l
Totally.
You’ve now arrived at where Bro texted you to be earlier. You put the picture of Karkat in your hoodie pocket as you step out of the car. Right now, you’re in some wooded area adjacent to a… park? Usually, you go to a more private place if it’s not an undercover type of thing. So, it's weird to be in such a normally public setting, but this is probably to test you.
The woods you’re in right now wrap around the park, save for a path that leads out of it. You throw your hood over your head and grab your sword, some backup weapons, and other miscellaneous items that you may need. You attach them to your belt, and cover them with your kinda long jacket. You start making your way out towards the park, only stopping when you can hear people talking. By then, you’re already pretty close. So, you quickly, and silently, close the distance and climb a tree to get a better view.
“How has your plan gone as of now? I assume Gamzee accepted?” says a female troll who’s sitting on a bench, both eating something, with Karkat.
“Yeah, me too, but he fucking turned me down. He’s still confused on why I need to somehow get away from this shithole, because apparently, he can’t get his moronic clown head around the fact that I can’t keep just barely escaping from everyone trying to kill me! I don’t even care where I go, or who it’s with, just if they think they got me, and finally shaved off the descendant of the motherfucking Signless, then maybe, just maybe, we’ll have some kind of chance. And no, I still don’t plan on going back. I know they’ll just keep trying to catch me.”
The female troll starts calming Karkat down in that weird way moirails do. You honestly know nothing about quadrants. Is moirail even the right term for that? Whatever, it's not really important.
You watch the two interact, but they don’t really say anything important, or about said ‘plan’. They talk to each other for about 25 minutes, until when the female troll gets up.
“I believe I have to be leaving now, my apologies. I’ll message you later, maybe to talk of other people who could take you in. Would you like me to drive you home?”
“I appreciate the offer, but I spent my money on this shit, and I’m going to fucking eat it. And, I don’t live too far away, I’m perfectly fine with walking. That's why I'm here in the first place. See you later, Kanaya,” he responds, quickly stuffing more food in his mouth.
She quietly chuckles at him, saying goodbye to him while elegantly walking away.
It's almost time. Just gotta hope Vantas doesn’t leave yet.
After a minute or two, Karkat hasn’t moved at all. Right now, he looks like he’s texting someone. You take a deep breath and grab a branch right next to you. If you’re gonna jump down from here, you might as well do it in style. You swing off of the branch under you and hop right behind Karkat. You quickly put a hand over his mouth, and drag him off the bench, and back into the woods. Just like a classic kidnapper. A feeling of guilt flows through you. Which is… weird. You’ve taught yourself not to feel guilty about these things, but somehow you still felt it. Well, whatever. Maybe it’s just because there’s a chance he didn’t do anything? And if he did do it, it wasn’t at all worthy of assassination in your opinion.
“‘Sup,” you say. Wow, good going Dave. What a normal thing to say right before you kill someone. Speaking of which, you unsheath your sword and put it in view so he can see it. He bites your hand, but it’s ineffective! That’s because you were actually smart and stole some of your bro’s leather fingerless gloves. They’re actually kinda thick, so you can barely feel his sharp teeth. Then again, they are pretty dull in comparison to most trolls. Especially to Kanaya’s.
Instead of screaming like you would have if you weren’t prepared, you position your sword higher, turning it so the sharper side faces him.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU, AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU SACK OF NOOK DRAINING HOOFBEAST SHIT?” He yells at you. You had taken your hand away a bit to hear him since he wasn’t screaming. You-
Wait.
What did he just say?
Well, that’s not important right now. You can think about that later.
“I... uh,” you start. Wow, you’re just amazing at speaking right now.
“What now, bulge fondler? You know what? I don’t care anymore. If she wants to keep sending you guys, then I might as well let her kill me. I know it’s going to happen eventually, so just do it.”
Normally your bro would tell you to take this chance and just kill him. But.. you hesitate. You don’t actually want to kill him. You never did, to begin with. Didn’t he say something about needing to get away from where he was? You live a good distance away, and bro isn’t usually home unless you have a job you have to do, which you always know beforehand. Maybe you can take him in? Wait, that’s a stupid decision, but it doesn’t hurt to try right? If he doesn’t accept, you’ll just let him leave, and deal with whatever Bro does to you. You’ve taken it for basically all your life, what’s so different now?
Woah, what the fuck? He’s a complete stranger, and you’re already willing to take one of Bro’s punishments for him. You’ll also wonder about that later.
“I,” you drop your sword, and take your hand fully away from him, “uh, so, I heard your conversation with the other troll, and-”
Oh god, you can’t believe you’re doing this.
“I know it’s weird and all, but I could totally take you in, for a bit,” you finally force out. By then, he had turned around, face going from surprise, to a scowl, and to a mixture of surprise and confusion.
“I… what? What the fuck? Usually, I’d flip you off, and fuck right out of these shitty woods if I wasn’t so desperate. I’m pretty fucking sure I have absolutely zero options by now, so sure. I give basically no shits anymore, and even if you decide to kill me or something, I don’t care. Just, do whatever,” he says, or, well, yells, his face going back to a scowl. Is that just his basic expression? Also, he just accepted to come with you, didn’t he? You weren’t really expecting that.
“Wait, really? Are you sure about that? Like, super sure? I mean, I just offered you to stay at my house. You gotta be, like, at least 75 percent sure. Tier 5 sure. I don’t even know how high that is, but it’s pretty fucking sure.”
“Will you shut your ignorance tunnel? Yes, I’m sure. Now if you’re going to let me stay at your hive, take me already. I don’t really have anything to get, so we might as well go,” he responds, rolling his eyes. You still can’t believe anything that’s happening right now is real, so you just nod and lead him back to your vehicle.
While driving back, you go over in your head what happened, delicately skipping over the fact he said exactly what your soulmark is, and that him being your soulmate could explain why you were so quick to bring him in, and why he was so prone to accept. Yeah, you’re not going to think about that right now.
But really, what the fuck is going on?