Chapter Text
Identified: Phone belonging to Gavin Reed
Bypassing security protocol…
Locating root directory…
Searching through database
Located contact files.
Assessing Information...
Located application files.
Assessing Information...
[Chat Messaging Application]
Monday
>> Two missed calls
[07:19] Prima F. Donna: Gavin.
>> One missed call
[07:21] Prima F. Donna: Of course.
Your short-term memory is as impaired as your self-preservation
I would advise you to unlock the door
[07:23] Me: Ok yes Im up
wtf r u talking abt
[07:23] Prima F. Donna: You have a meeting at 8. I’m on the way to collect you.
[07:24] Me: Fuck
No DO NOT break any doors
Or windows
Or my fridge
Plastic prick
[07:25] Prima F. Donna: It was a very nice door, wasn’t it?
[07:27] Me: Fuck u my neighbour was super pissed ok she thought i was having some lovers’ spat
[07:27] Prima F. Donna: I’m sorry for your loss
I will be there in 10 minutes.
Please attempt to wear something professional
But don’t worry if it’s too much to ask for.
[07:28] Me: Fowler can kiss my ass for putting it at 8am
[07:28] Prima F. Donna: While you struggle through your morning routine,
[07:28] Me: Yes? Skip the insults, what did u do
[07:29] Prima F. Donna: I bought coffee and donuts
Did my tone give me away?
[07:30] Me: Wait really
[07:30] Prima F. Donna: Yes.
[07:31] Me: I cant tell if ure joking or not
Well that was such a surprise
[07:32] Prima F. Donna: I expect a heartfelt display of sincere gratitude
I am at your doorstep.
[07:33] Me: Say what? U just did what ure supposed to do
Like a gd android
[07:33] Me: DONT drive away yOU BASTARD
[19:23] Prima F. Donna: I have paperwork to settle. It will take a while.
[19:25] Me: U are not settling shit wtf go change clothes
U just ran through a fuckin river
Also u can finish that in seconds i call bs
[19:26] Prima F. Donna: I do not store spare sets at the station
[19:26] Me: So ure just hiding in the office
[19:27] Prima F. Donna: My predecessor is also of different size
And does not have clothing at hand
Also, I am physically filing paperwork for upper management who peruse outdated methods of information storage.
[19:27] Me: U are filing paperwork. Almost. Naked.
That’s public indecency
[19:27] Prima F. Donna: Unless clothing dissolves in freshwater, no I am not
[19:28] Me: Then ure destroying the fucking carpet
Wait ill bring stuff
Its better than looking like a drenched duck
[19:30] Prima F. Donna: I pull off the look better than you
Which is why you went home sulking
[19:31] Me: FUCK YOU im otw
[19:33] Prima F. Donna: Well, you still fared better than Perkins
[19:34] Me: That quack? The definition of drenched duck
Hey
Perkins actly looks like a duck
Perkin duck
[19:35] Prima F. Donna: Perkin Duck indeed.
Tuesday
[12:30] Prima F. Donna: I have been informed of an emergency situation.
[12:31] Me: ik meet at carpark
Wednesday
[13:45] Me: Yesterday
We wouldnt be in such deep shit if it werent all thanks to u
[13:46] Prima F. Donna: I am sitting next to you at your desk
[13:46] Me: Im not TALKING to you bastard
I told u to stay put u went and nearly killed him and urself
Now fowler is on me for “disobeying orders”
When it was u who did it
[13:48] Prima F. Donna: I disabled our suspect from reckless action.
He had explosives planted in the basement and could have detonated them at any moment.
My decision to tackle him off the roof was one that prevented the destruction of the structurally unsound building we were in, which, upon collapse, would have exterminated all personnel in the building.
[13:51] Me: That doesnt
Fuck
Ok apart from the orders part
Which you clearly dgaf about
Y the fuck did u do it
[13:52] Prima F. Donna: I understand that my actions may have jeopardised the safety of our suspect.
However, a fall from two storeys that was cushioned by soft ground is in no way life threatening.
[13:56] Me: Yeah
Yeah whatever fuck
Dont ugh
Is this some
“I will do it for the investigation” kind of thing
[13:56] Prima F. Donna: Explain
[13:57] Me: look ok there was 5 police officers there on the roof
5
At least 2 were close enough to do something
In fact they were supposed to handle the suspect
Everything was planned
Then u suddenly acted and it all went to shit
[13:59] Prima F. Donna: That does not explain why you think I risked the suspect’s life “for the investigation”.
But if you were referring to my motivations
While my core directive is to assist in the investigations of crime, I also consider human life to be irreplaceable and hence valuable.
This includes both the suspect and the other officers at the scene of the crime.
I took the necessary actions to secure all human lives.
[14:10] Me: Human life is what
Ugh ok fine
[14:11] Prima F. Donna: Your incessant sighing from the other end of the desk suggests that you are still concerned about the incident.
The only logical reason, besides the one mentioned earlier, is that my actions were deemed too reckless. The only two individuals that were in risk were the suspect and I.
As we have addressed the topic of the suspect, there is also another conclusion I can draw, although improbable.
Are you concerned about me?
[14:30] Me: i said fine alrdy fuck off
[14:31] Prima F. Donna: I am far more endurable than my predecessor and can withstand relatively high impact.
My regular maintenance has been pushed forward to check if the incident has damaged any internal circuits, but my diagnostics have not revealed any lasting damage.
Your concern for me is touching.
[18:21] Me: Ok i give up
[18:21] Prima F. Donna: Yes? Did the lack of conversation unnerve you?
[18:21] Me: Fuck off im getting dinner
[18:22] Prima F. Donna: This early?
[18:23] Me: Did i stutter
Yes
[18:25] Prima F. Donna: I have heard of breaking fast at night, but not of breaking silence.
I applaud your decision, however.
[18:26] Me: bastard just get your plastic ass off the chair
Thrusday
[09:21] Me: Where r u
Hello?
Oh nevermind ur freaky shorter twin told me already
Enjoy your quality time at the repair store
Why not paint ur nails while ure at it.
[15:18] Prima F. Donna: Hello. My name is Richard. I’m the android sent by Cyberlife.
[15:27] Me: GO SUCK A DICK
Friday
[08:23] Me: I know ure going to pull the same stunt on mon but
Im already at the station
[08:25] Prima F. Donna: Amazing
[08:26] Me: Yeah what a miracle
Never thought i would live to see the day
[08:28] Prima F. Donna: To reduce the intensity of your wailing later, I am giving you advance notice.
Connor had suggested that I try out different clothing besides the standard issue uniform. He has reasoned that it will “help me integrate into the force better and improve our working relationship.”
I have taken his advice and am wearing “casual clothing”.
[08:29] Me: Casual????
Clothing???
Mr high collar and turtleneck combo is wearing casual clothing
This is truly a miracle
Also wtf connors idea of casual clothing is
Shitty graphic tees
And hawaiian shirts
[08:31] Prima F. Donna: Connor initially used Lieutenant Anderson as his reference.
However, he has received feedback from fellow androids that his style is inappropriate. His subsequent research has given him insight into fashion and its indirect effect on others.
[08:33] Me: U are really fucking funny
[12:21] Me: HOLY SHIT
How much did the fucking leather jacket cost
Wtf
[12:22] Prima F. Donna: I would be happy to instruct you if you require assistance. As you have observed, I am highly qualified.
Please chew adequately before you swallow and stop texting while eating.
No, I need to correct that. Do not talk, keep texting.
[12:23] Me: Congrats ure now an actual ken doll
[12:24] Prima F. Donna: Thank you.
[12:24] Me: We could merchandise u if we reprogram your shitty personality
[12:24] Prima F. Donna: I learnt from the best.
[12:25] Me: U sure fucking did
[12:26] Prima F. Donna: Has this only inflated your own ego?
To quote words from a wise man, “Fuck you”.
[12:27] Me: Fuck you too
Data analysed.
Probability of having a crush: 94.30%
Status of relationship: Friends, mutual concern
Probability of reciprocation: Unknown, insufficient data for analysis
New mission: Collect data to determine chance of reciprocation
Plotting course of action…
Recommended course of action: Attend a romantic function, or “date”, with person of interest
Recommended apparatus: Cyberlife custom police bike, full leather attire
New side mission: Find suitable gift for Connor (RK800) and Lieutenant Anderson