Archive of Our Own

mood

Taehyung closed his eyes and leaned back against the old rickety outdoor chair that had always been standing in front of his flower shop. It was almost six in the evening and he was done for the day. The cold Busan winter air was starting to blow, making Taehyung shiver. He just had to clear up some of the flowery mess and close the noisy tin gate. 

The sun was just about to set and it had painted the sky in beautiful hues of blue and orange. Maybe Taehyung would make another painting of this exact view. He already had four, but he really loved to replicate this part of the sky.

Taehyung got up from his seat as the last rays of the sun brushed its warmth over his face. His limbs were aching from the long, tiring day of standing and running around and making orders for bouquets. He was about to go back to his shop when he heard someone call out. "Taehyung-ah!" He turned around and saw a very sleepy looking Min Yoongi approach him.

Taehyung gave one of his brightest smiles. He always loved to see his best friend, even if he was exhausted out of his skin. "Hi, Yoongi hyung! What's up?"

Yoongi was wearing his work clothes: a white fluffy sweatshirt with black pants and a black apron. His black hair looked so soft in the fading sunlight. He reached him and gave him a tiny wave with his long fingers. "I just wanted to remind you of my Christmas party. I know you have been coming for the last five years but I just wanted to confirm just in case you forget."

Yoongi always threw a small Christmas party with his close friends and family every year. Since Taehyung had been his neighbour for the last five years, and his self-proclaimed best friend for the last two years, Yoongi had always invited him.

"Of course I'm coming. Please don't forget to bake that amazing apple pie and the red velvet cake hyung. I refuse to leave your house without their leftovers." Taehyung smiled.

Yoongi gave a small laugh. "Of course I will. Is Jungkook coming?"

Taehyung's smile fell off his face. "Jungkook is coming?"

"Is that a statement or a question?"

Taehyung stared at Yoongi's face. If he was being completely honest, he did not know. Yoongi must have understood because he let it go. "Yah, you better bring a pink lily bouquet for me."

Taehyung smiled the best he could. "Of course I will hyung. How will I refuse to get pink flowers for my manliest hyung."

Yoongi smacked him softly on the arm before giving the last wave and walking away. Taehyung turned around and took slow steps towards his shop. It looked so beautiful even in the closing darkness. Taehyung clicked his tongue when he realized that the street lights still hadn't switched on. He had to complain to the district office again and tell them about the high probability of accidents. Not many people wandered here, but it was enough for him to make a living out of. Yoongi's coffee shop was just a few lamposts away and maybe he would go to his house with his box of homemade rice and lure him away from his storebought ramen.

Taehyung cleaned up the best he could and shut the tin gate. He wiped the thin sheen of sweat that had formed over his brow and climbed up the steps to his house. When he was finally inside the house with his apron and gloves off and in his favourite pyjamas, he allowed himself to think of Jungkook.

When was he coming back?

~

Taehyung had a huge smile on his face as he finished the race. He had obviously come first again. He heard the cheers of the crowd around him and he beamed. He knew he was on his way to becoming one of Korea's top athletes. He had participated in almost all of the national competitions and even in a few overseas ones. He had been awarded so many medals that the closet he hung them had been completely covered in shining gold and silver. Taehyung knew he was Seoul's fastest, and he was proud of it.

Taehyung accepted his medal happily and bowed at the sponsors and the judges before looking at the crowd for his parents. He knew they were somewhere in the crowd, waiting to congratulate Taehyung. 

Taehyung was about to go around one of the stands when he collided with someone. "Oh, I'm so sorry," Taehyung exclaimed as he tried to untangle himself from the mess of someone else's limbs. When he finally regained his balance, he saw another boy around his age looking at him with wide eyes. 

"Taehyung-ssi?"

Taehyung had no idea who this was, but he was really cute. And his voice was adorable. "Yes?"

"M-my name is Jungkook and Jeon Sungwa is my uncle. I just wanted to congratulate you on your win." The boy explained. Taehyung knew that Jeon Sungwa was one of their sponsors because he owned one of the country's largest music companies: JGS Entertainment. They had launched both boy and girl k-pop groups and solo artists, and some of them were very well known throughout the music industry and the world. 

"Thank you so much, Jungkook-ssi. It was nice meeting you." Taehyung was about to walk away when a hand gripping his bicep stopped him. He turned around to see Jungkook widen his eyes as if he was surprised at his own actions. 

"I-I'm sorry, but do you maybe, um, want to get a coffee sometime? Or if you don’t like coffee then we can get tea. Or if you don’t like tea then–”

Taehyung laughed, cutting Jungkook’s awkward rant short. “Sure. Can I have your number?”

Jungkook turned redder than a tomato and let go of Taehyung’s hand. “Y-yes.”

They exchanged numbers and Taehyung mentally patted himself on the back because he had scored a really cute fan.

When they parted ways, both of them were grinning from ear-to-ear.

~

Taehyung poured himself another bowl of cold milk and chocolate loops. He was too lazy to cook dinner for himself. He knew that dinner at Yoongi’s had to wait for another night.

Taehyung muted the show he was watching on his TV and looked around. The electricity bill had to be paid for this month, or they would cut it off just like last time. Taehyung also realized that the walls really needed a fresh coat of paint, even if Taehyung had started to kind of like the particular shade of moldy green.

It’s not that business was bad. In this town, everyone needed flowers to brighten up their day or to give someone and his flower shop was the only one in miles. The quality was top-notch and Taehyung was a good person to talk to. He also offered a free rose to regular customers as a token of his appreciation. The bouquets he made were so intricate and beautiful that people couldn’t help falling in love with them.

But Taehyung was just very tired of waking up every day to do something he didn’t have any particular interest in anymore. He remembered when he first started working at the flower shop. He had passion, excitement, love and of course Jungkook.

Now, more than one thing had all but disappeared from his life. It was so hard for Taehyung not to pick up his phone every second he had alone and call Jungkook.

Taehyung picked up his phone and unlocked it. There was a familiar ping and he scrambled to open his messages only to be greeted by Yoongi’s name in bold. He let out a disappointed sigh and tapped it.

Taehyung clicked on the link and it took him to a newspaper article. He froze when he saw what was written. Underneath the bold headline, there was a picture of Jungkook getting into a car with Park Jimin.

But then he laughed it off. Jungkook was probably going to his house to play video games or something, especially since it was Park Jimin. He had met Park Jimin a couple of years back. He was one of the sweetest and kindest people he had ever met. They had connected on a spiritual level and had bonded over puppies and food. Jungkook had brought him to their home and had said that they had met when Jimin had come to their company to produce a song with someone. Then they had proceeded on becoming best friends once they realized that they both wanted to make very similar music and that they both loved dancing.

Jimin was kind. Taehyung trusted Jimin.

And Jungkook had promised Taehyung.

~

“Come on mom, you should seriously start trusting your son.” Taehyung retorted in the phone he was holding while he was trying to flip pancakes with one hand. The pancake was being uncharacteristically silent, unlike his dear mother.

“Taehyung, you have known this Jungkook boy for only a year. How do you know he is not some creep who will sleep with you and run off with your money?” His mother’s exasperated voice came in through the other line.

“Mother, Jungkook is not a creep. He is one of the kindest and most amazing people I have ever met. And I can protect myself if anything happens. Please don’t worry so much.” Taehyung said as he successfully flipped one of the pancakes and set it down on a plate and drowned it in maple syrup.

His mother was not convinced. “And what about your career? What will you do if you shift to Busan? It’s nothing like the city. Your career will come to a complete standstill.”

Taehyung paused for a moment. He knew what he was giving up. He had dreamt of running professionally ever since he could walk or knew what the word meant. His parents had fully supported him and he had gone as far as being told by several people that he should try out for the Olympics.

But Taehyung loved Jungkook more than he loved his dreams. When he had said that he needed to shift to Busan from Seoul because the best training centers for solo artists are there, he had wholeheartedly agreed to come with. They had already moved in together in Jungkook’s small apartment in Seoul. Taehyung had loved every single moment of their relationship. He was the most perfect boyfriend anyone could ever ask for. He had tried his best to convince Taehyung to stay, but Taehyung knew long-distance relationships never worked out.

“Mom, there are so many good training centers and active competitions in Busan. Maybe I will get better opportunities if I train there. And come on mom, running isn’t a serious or stable profession anyways. I have to run out of stamina or energy one day.”

His mother sighed sadly. “Oh, Taehyung. You are so far gone for that boy. I don’t think I ever knew this day would come when you said you loved something more than you love running.”

“I’m sorry, mom. But it’s the truth. I will pursue my dreams the best I can.”

“But you and I both know that’s not enough. If I ever found that Jungkook hurt you, I will personally come and stab him in places where the sun doesn’t shine.”

Taehyung laughed at that. He knew that his mother was perfectly capable of something like that. “Okay, mother. Love you too. I have to go now, so bye.”

“Bye, darling.” His mother cut the phone and Taehyung tossed it to the nearest table. He turned around and walked to the fridge to fetch the bottle of orange juice.

Taehyung was about to carry the food he made to their bed when he felt hands wrap around his middle and a chin burying itself over his shoulder.

“Good morning, baby. Did you make all this for me?” Jungkook’s voice whispered into his ear, and Taehyung shivered.

“Of course. I was just about to take it to our bed.” Taehyung curled his hands around Jungkook’s bare arms that were wrapped around his stomach. He didn’t have to turn around to know that he was wearing only boxers from last night. He never slept in anything but.

“Who were you talking to so early?” Jungkook asked as Taehyung leaned into his touch.

“My mom. She was worried about me and said that if you hurt me, she will rip your balls out.”

Jungkook stepped away and turned Taehyung around so they faced each other. “Those words actually came out of her mouth?”

Taehyung giggled. “Obviously not. But she did something along those lines, and I tend to agree.”

Jungkook pulled Taehyung closer till their chests were flush together. Taehyung was just wearing one of Jungkook’s long but thin shirts, so he could feel the ridges of Jungkook’s defined chest. After Jungkook’s uncle had persuaded him, he had started training very hard to emerge as a solo artist. It was harder for him because people usually didn’t start off solo. And there were many people out there who believed he had emerged only because of his famous name and refused to sign anything with him until he promised that he would use his title to their full advantage. So Jungkook had started struggling even before he had debuted.

But the training had done him a lot of good. He had a much better haircut and changed his hair back to its original colour – black. His workouts and diets had not only made him lose the baby fat he had left but had also buffed him up till his adorable face didn’t match his body. He had become much more comfortable in his skin and had gained a lot of confidence, something which had surprised Taehyung so much that he became giddy if he thought about the contrast between the first time they met and his cockiness now. But Taehyung knew that he would love Jungkook for himself, even if he looked like an alien, or had three heads.

“Taehyung, I promise that I will never hurt you intentionally. And if I hurt you unintentionally, feel free to rip my balls out.” Taehyung giggled again and Jungkook paused, staring at Taehyung. “You don’t know how beautiful you are.”

Taehyung felt all the blood rush to his face and he dropped his head. He was still not used to being so freely complemented by someone so hot, someone who loved him back. “So you promise that we’ll be together forever Jungkook?”

Jungkook grabbed his chin, tilted it back up and pressed their lips together. The kiss was deep, and Taehyung could feel the promise that Jungkook was trying to convey without words. “I promise.”

And Taehyung accepted that promise with all his heart.

~ 

-

-

-

The next morning, Taehyung woke up with a sigh. It was Sunday, so his shop was closed and he had nothing to distract him from his thoughts. He decided to go for a long walk, just for something to do instead of sitting at home alone.

Taehyung loved going for walks. He would go for a run, but he just wasn’t in the mood. He had tried keeping up with his running routine just in case he needed to use his training again, but since his mother passed away, his old dreams had died with her.

Taehyung wore his favorite hoodie and his comfortable jeans. He snapped on a black face mask and wore his favorite pair of sneakers. He grabbed his essentials, and he was now dressed and ready to leave.

Taehyung was locking on the door when he caught the glint of something shiny on his fingers. He looked down and saw a simple silver band on his right middle finger reflecting the bright sunlight.

Taehyung sighed. When did something that had only brought him comfort bring him apprehension now? He considered removing it but then thought against it. He had promised to wear it forever.

Taehyung shoved his ring hand into his pocket and drew up the hoodie of his jacket with the other. Then he started walking and didn’t stop for a long time.

-

-

Taehyung was at the beach. It had been a really long walk and he had ended up skipping lunch, but he hadn’t been that hungry anyways.

Taehyung loved the beach. It was his second favorite place, after his flower shop. He always went to the secluded parts of the beach where there were more big rocks than sand. A lot of people didn’t frequent this area. The temperature had also dropped drastically, so there wasn’t anyone around.

There was something peaceful about that line where the sky met the sea that calmed Taehyung. He never had the privileges of the beach before because he had grown up in the city, but since the first time he had come here, he had fallen in love with the sea breeze, the faint sound of seagulls and the waves crashing against the shore, and the feeling of small droplets of the salty water coming to splash his exposed face and hands.

It was moments like this when he missed Jungkook the most he was not used to being alone. He had grown up in the middle of loving parents and a whole extended family. Even if he didn’t have any siblings, he had loads of cousins and aunts and uncles. Even at school, he had a lot of friends he could depend on. He knew he would make new friends when he moved to Busan because he was the biggest extrovert out there. But when Jungkook had started going on his Seoul trips and then had almost permanently moved there, he started becoming scared because he was alone most of the time.

Taehyung didn’t mind it for a few hours, even a couple of days, but whole weeks with no one but a busy Min Yoongi to talk to almost drove him insane. Not that he hated Yoongi’s company or anything, but no matter how many cakes he baked for him and how many flowers he received from Taehyung, there would still be a line between friendly and clingy.

Taehyung looked up at the sky. There were dark grey clouds blocking out all the sunlight, making it colder than it actually was. He wiped off some of the moisture that had condensed on his skin. He really wished he could wait longer but he was pretty sure if he stayed here longer he would freeze to death.

Taehyung turned around, and that’s when he heard the ringtone of his phone go off. It was still that stupid Mamamoo song that had been stuck in his head since forever.

Taehyung scrambled to get it out of his thick jacket pocket and sighed happily when he finally got it out.

It was Jungkook. Jungkook was calling him. How long had it been since his last call? Taehyung grinned. He was probably going to give him a sneak-peak of his birthday present as he always did, or tell him when he was finally coming back home.

Taehyung dragged the green icon to the right. “Hello?”

“Taehyung, it’s me.” Jungkook’s voice filtered through his phone and Taehyung did all he could to restrain himself from squealing.

“Jungkookie! I am so glad you called I was just about to—”

Jungkook’s tinny voice interrupted him. “Listen Taehyung, I am actually kind of busy right now. I just called to call to tell you something quickly because it’s important.”

“O-okay, what is it?”

Taehyung could hear some faint echoed music in the background, and someone speaking in the peripheral. Jungkook was probably in the practice room. “Do you know the picture you posted of me with that caption on Instagram? My manager asked me to ask you to delete it. I know that your account is private and not many people follow you, but if anyone finds out anything suggestive or a clue to our relationship, there might be problems.”

Taehyung’s smile fell off his face. “I get it. I’ll delete it as soon as possible.”

“Thank you, Tae. Thank you for understanding. Talk to you later?”

“Of course.”

“Bye Tae. Love you.”

“Bye.”

Taehyung removed the phone from his ear once Jungkook cut the call. He hadn’t said the ‘I’ in ‘I love you’.

Taehyung wiped off some more moisture from his cheeks and pretended it was water from the sea and not his tears.

~

It was Taehyung’s birthday. And Jungkook wasn’t home yet. Taehyung had been pacing in front of their house for the past hour. Jungkook had said he would be here two hours ago, and that idiot had forgotten to charge his phone. It was already four in the evening, and the sky had already started to darken.

Taehyung was so worried. Had something happened to him on the way? Maybe his bus had faced an accident, or someone had tried to rob him on his way here, or maybe someone had recognized him and had mobbed—

Taehyung shook his head violently as if trying to shake out the bad thoughts. He was thinking only of the worst-case scenarios. Jungkook had probably missed his bus and was coming on the next one.

Taehyung was about to go back inside and try and call someone from his agency when he saw the faint silhouette of someone walking up their street. After a few steps, Taehyung could recognize Jungkook clearly.

Taehyung’s annoyed yells died in his throat when he saw the state he was in. His tight blue jeans had rips over the knee, and Taehyung could clearly see that he had scraped his knees badly as if he had fallen and skidded on rough cement. His originally white shirt had splotches of dirt and a few flecks of blood. His purple jacket was half-off his shoulder and he could clearly see a rip in the seams of one of his arms. He was holding both his backpack and his carry-on with his right hand, the veins of his arm bulging at the weight. Taehyung let out a soft gasp when he saw his face. Jungkook looked mad. His brows were knit together and his jaw was firmly set and Taehyung could see it clicking on one side. His lip was cut on one side and there was a purpling bruise on one of his cheekbones.

As soon as Jungkook came up to their gate, he flung his bags inside, stopped in front of Taehyung and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Taehyung took rapid steps towards him and grabbed his chin, forcing him to face him. “What the fuck happened to your face, Jungkook?” Taehyung yelled.

“I have had the worst fucking day of my life,” Jungkook replied.

Taehyung held his hand and led him inside to their bedroom. He went and fetched the medical kit and brought out a cotton swab and some antiseptic. He started dabbing on his cut lip when he saw Jungkook safely seated on the bed, crouching down in front of him. “Tell me.”

Jungkook closed his eyes and let out an annoyed sigh. “So I boarded the bus like I was supposed to, and I was minding my own business when this demon spawn of a kid sitting next to me came up to me and asked to play with me. Since I am a kind-hearted person and he was really adorable, I obliged and both of us started playing peek-a-boo and patty-cake.”

Taehyung’s inner paternal instinct squealed at the thought of Jungkook playing with a small toddler. But he didn’t interrupt Jungkook’s story, so he continued. “This demon spawn was holding a stuffed bear while he was playing with me, and since he was sitting by the window, the bear bounced off his knee and fell out of the window of the moving bus. I tried to tell him that it’s fine, but then he started crying really loud and went and told his satan father that it was me who threw his stupid toy out of the window.”

Taehyung knew where this story was leading and he was trying his hardest not to laugh. Jungkook didn’t notice Taehyung’s tortured expression and gestured at his bleeding knee for Taehyung to clean. “I mean, can you believe it? That rotten little shit said it was my fault, and then his gigantic dad who is like twice my size stopped the bus and made me get out and also punched me in the face. So the bus left without me. Is that even legal? I should really file a complaint or something.”

Taehyung took out a couple of gauzes and sticky tape. He was trying to make make-shift covers for Jungkook’s bruises. Jungkook continued. “I was then trying to hitchhike all the way here, but I looked kind of scary with this dumbass bruise on my face. I walked most of the way, and because of the stupid rocks on that street with the good ice-cream, I tripped, like, thrice because I’m also a dumbass.”

Taehyung couldn’t hold his laughter anymore. He burst out into a fit of violent giggles when he heard Jungkook call himself a dumbass.

Jungkook looked pretty offended. “Taehyung, are you laughing at my pain?” He whined.

“I’m sorry, but my big manly boyfriend got defeated by a toddler.” Taehyung burst out into more laughter, clutching his sides and almost doubling over.

“It wasn’t the toddler; it was his dad. He was really gigantic, with lots of muscle.” Jungkook pouted.

Taehyung was done cleaning and covering his cuts, so he pushed everything to the side and climbed onto Jungkook’s lap and wrapped his arms around his neck, still laughing.

Jungkook saw Taehyung’s eyes crinkle into upside-down half-moons, and he involuntarily smiled. “I missed you Tae.”

Taehyung pressed a soft kiss over the cut on his lip. “I know baby. I missed you too. But I am never letting you live this incident down. Ever.”

Taehyung laughed loudly again when Jungkook pouted. “Ugh, you should have seen him. He really looked like he had nothing better to do than beat up random men. He looked like one of those people who kisses their wife goodbye on their cheek or says ‘love you’ instead of ‘I love you’.”

Taehyung drew back and looked at him with a puzzled expression. “What do you mean by ‘love you’ instead of ‘I love you’? What’s the difference?”

Jungkook gasped dramatically. “The ‘I’ in the endearment makes all the difference. You can say ‘love you’ to anyone. But you can only say the ‘I’ to someone you love love.”

Taehyung snorted. “That’s some bullshit you just made up.”

“No, I swear,” Jungkook replied indignantly.

Taehyung saw the determined expression and the glint in his eyes. He looked so beautiful even with the cut on his lip and the dark bruise over his left cheek. He was a piece of art that Taehyung would never give up.

“I really missed you so, so much. I’m so glad you are here.”

“I missed you too Tae. Happy birthday.”

~

-

-

Taehyung stared at his reflection in the full-length mirror by the bed. He was wearing one of his old black blazers that he hadn’t worn in ages and a white collared shirt with delicate embroidery in red, black and gold starting from the hems and ending right below the lapel. His black pants and shoes were new. He thought of putting on a tie but realized it would make him seem too formal. So he had skipped the tie and donned some long and silver three-dimensional teardrop earrings instead. His dark hair was messy and touching his shoulders but he really didn’t want to start styling it right now.

He looked pretty good. It had been so long since he had dressed up for anything, so this was a nice change.

Taehyung grabbed his essentials and the bouquet of pink lilies he had made for Yoongi. He knew a lot of people were coming, so he was excited to meet everyone else. He shut the door behind him and walked to Yoongi’s house. The walk was short, only ten minutes long, and Taehyung could see the stars in the night sky. It was only eight in the evening and there were many people around. It was Christmas eve and Taehyung could almost smell the baked goods from Yoongi’s house. He always went crazy around his party and would persuade all his guests to take home his cookies and cakes.

The house was easy to spot because it was brightly lit and the sounds coming from it were the loudest. Taehyung walked up to the doorway and spotted the bunched fairy lights and small mistletoes scattered all around Yoongi’s garden. He had decorated really nicely.

The door was open and he pushed against it to be greeted by the loud chatter of the many people who had gathered. Taehyung had been to Yoongi’s house many times, but it looked pretty different with all the decorations and people. The living room had a huge tree with small gifts surrounding it. There were tiny snow angels hanging from the ceilings and the tree. There was Christmas music coming from speakers nearby and people going around chatting, singing, eating and dancing.

Taehyung sighed happily. It had been so long since he had been surrounded with so many people. He walked up to the kitchen to look for Yoongi.

After a few minutes of looking and saying hello to some of the people in his district he knew, he found Yoongi. With his hands up someone’s sweatshirt. And making out passionately with the said someone against the kitchen counter. Yoongi was wearing a tan sweatshirt and the other person was wearing a fluffy red sweater with jeans. His dark brown hair was tousled and messy as if someone had gripped it tightly.  

Taehyung cleared his throat loudly and tapped Yoongi’s shoulder. He turned around and gave him one of the widest grins he could muster. “Taehyunnnng! My brother! How are you this fine evening?”

Taehyung could smell the alcohol on his breath and he smiled. Yoongi wasn’t the type to get drunk at his own party but it was good to let go sometimes. “Wow, you’re drunk.”

Yoongi grabbed the hand of the person he was kissing and patted his own cheek with it. “No, I’m Yoongi.”

Taehyung laughed. “Look I brought your flowers hyung. I hope you like them.”

Yoongi grabbed the flowers Taehyung was holding out and sniffed them once before handing it to the man holding his hand. “I love them. Tae, meet Hoseok, the love of my life.”

Taehyung’s eyebrows shot up and Hoseok turned as red as his sweater. “W-we actually met last month and started dating yesterday, Taehyung-ssi.”

Taehyung couldn’t believe that his grumpy and soft hyung had actually found someone he liked enough to date. It was as if he had been allergic to anything but one-night stands till now. Yoongi had complained to him so many times before that there wasn’t anyone worth in this world for him to date. He was happy for his best friend. “Don’t be so formal. Please call me Taehyung.”

Hoseok gabbed Yoongi by his waist, slung him over the counter, and turned to face Taehyung fully. “Sorry, I work at a wine manufacturing company, and there were some unmarked crates of champagne that I couldn’t have on my own, so I brought them here. And clearly, Yoongi had too many glasses. He has been drunk since, like, four.”

Taehyung laughed again and looked at Yoongi who was happily swinging his legs over the counter and burying his face in the flowers with a blissed-out expression on his normally taught face. “Don’t worry, his alcohol tolerance is high. He will come down from his high in no time. Where did you meet him?”

Hoseok had a small and soft smile on his face. “I actually met him at his bakery. I think he makes the best chocolate-chip and mint cookies. We started talking after I went and complimented his skills in the kitchen.”

“Did he reply by saying how he was even better in the bedroom?”

Hoseok’s eyes widened. “H-how did you know?”

“Yoongi hyung and I think alike a lot. That’s what I would have said in the same situation.”

Hoseok burst out into loud giggles and Taehyung grinned. He liked Hoseok till now.

Hoseok clutched his stomach and looked up. “Since I don’t think Yoongi hyung is capable of doing it now, I am going to act as a fill-in host and I ask you to help yourself to how-many-ever bottles of champagne you want. There are a lot.”

Yoongi slid down the counter and placed his hands over Hoseok’s taller shoulders. “Since I’m not that rich, you will have to have it in plastic cups. I can’t provide you with champagne flutes. Sorry, my man.” He slurred.

Taehyung patted his back and Yoongi walked away steering Hoseok in front of him. Taehyung turned around and helped himself to the champagne in a plastic cup. He took a sip and walked towards the crowd.

It was going to be a long night.

~

“Taehyung, can you get your ass over here already!” Jungkook yelled in the general direction of the kitchen.

Taehyung had been trying to get some drinks, but everyone was already getting impatient. They had to open presents and no one liked to wait for presents.

“Coming, Jesus. Wait for a fucking second.” Taehyung yelled back and grabbed the whole bottle of soju and headed back to the living room. Yoongi was sitting on the main sofa with Jimin and Jungkook was sitting on the floor. The rest of the guests had already gone home to spend it with their families. Taehyung placed the bottle of soju on the table and sat in between Jungkook’s legs giving him a quick peck on his forehead.

“Everyone should open mine first.” Jimin bounced on the couch. “I know that I just recently met you guys, but you should all know that I am so thankful for including me. I love you all.”

Taehyung giggled and patted Jimin’s leg. “We love you too. Even Yoongi, though he doesn’t like to admit it.”

Yoongi just grunted and gave a fond smile when Jimin wasn’t looking. Taehyung leaned forward, grabbed the biggest boxes wrapped in shiny paper and handed one to each of them.

Taehyung unwrapped his gift to find a medium-sized messenger bag that looked really expensive. He checked the front and his eyes widened. “Jimin, you got me Gucci?”

Jimin nodded and Taehyung screamed and launched himself on Jimin. He tackled him on the sofa and hugged him tightly until he said, “Tae, get off, I can’t breathe.”

“No, accept my love for you, my brother from another mother.”

Taehyung heard Yoongi’s, “Hey! I thought I was your brother from another mother!” but he chose to ignore it. Jimin had bought him Gucci. He peeled himself from Jimin and looked around. Yoongi had received a black woven Bottega Veneta briefcase and Jungkook had received a Ferragamo laptop carrier. It must have cost Jimin a fortune. Taehyung knew he was kind enough to gift almost-strangers designer bags.

“I think this bag costs as much as my old apartment,” Taehyung exclaimed and gave Jimin one last hug before moving back on Jungkook’s lap.

“Okay, mine’s next.” Yoongi declared and handed everyone a white box with big satin bows. “It has all of your favorite cakes. I know it’s not as good as Jimin’s bags but…”

Taehyung opened the lid of his box and found the most stunning red velvet cake he had ever seen in his life. It had two layers and it was so soft it was almost melting, but there were small roses and small artistic patterns made out of cream cheese that was covering the whole cake and holding the gooey fudge together. The flowers had a soft red sugar sprinkled on them, and it looked so real. Taehyung looked at Jungkook’s box and saw a beautiful apple pie and Jimin’s cherry cheesecake.

Taehyung got up again, walked up to Yoongi and hugged him, burying his nose in his neck. “Yoongi, thank you. They are so beautiful, just like you.”

Taehyung looked up and saw Yoongi with the softest gummy smile. “You’re welcome.” The rest of them thanked him too, but Taehyung was sure that Yoongi knew who treasured their cake the most.

Taehyung walked to his box and opened it. “This might seem really silly, and you can return it if you don’t like it, but I just want all of you to try on yours once.”

He took out the first item. It was a headband that he had made from scratch by weaving red, purple and white flowers together. “This is made out of tulips, lavender and daisy. It signifies grace, elegance and beauty. It’s for you Jimin.”

Taehyung took out the second one. It was completely white except for some artificial gold vines that held it all together. “This is made out of Madonna lilies, baby’s breath and oxeyes. It signifies love, devotion and innocence. This one is yours, Yoongi.”

“And finally, this one is for you, Jungkook. It’s made out of roses, wildflowers and thyme. It symbolizes true love, courage and purity. I hope you like it.” Jungkook looked at the flower crown that was made with an assortment of colorful flowers and delicate sprigs with tiny leaves and small bulbs. It was absolutely stunning.

“This is so beautiful Taehyung. I love this so much.” Jungkook muttered and the rest agreed. He gave Taehyung a small kiss over his temple, convincing him of how much he actually liked the gift.

“I coated them with preservatives and wax, so it lasts a little longer,” Taehyung said and Jimin let out a small whoop, wearing his immediately.

“I’ll be sad when these wither and dry,” Yoongi said and Jungkook hummed in agreement. “Jungkook you’re next.”

Jungkook took out the smallest boxes out of the pile and handed the biggest two to Jimin and Yoongi.

“Jungkook these are so pretty!” Jimin exclaimed and took out a delicate gold necklace with a thinly woven chain and a slightly thicker solid pendant. Yoongi took out the same and smiled in agreement.

“And now for you, Taehyung—”

Jungkook was interrupted by the lights going off completely, plunging them all into darkness. Taehyung and Yoongi both let out twin groans. “This is happening really frequently these days. It will come back in an hour or so. Let me get some candles. There is only one here. Jimin, come with me to get them.” Yoongi said and walked out with Jimin following.

Taehyung fetched the single candle that was lying on the table and lit it with his lighter. It wasn’t particularly needed because the curtains weren’t drawn, letting the bright moonlight stream in.

Taehyung placed the candle on the desk and faced Jungkook eagerly. “What is my gift?”

Jungkook handed him the smallest box. Taehyung took out the thin ribbon and flipped the lid open to reveal two thin silver bands.

Jungkook had gotten them rings. Couple rings. Taehyung could feel the tears pooling in his eyes. “J-Jungkook, I-I…”

Jungkook took both of them out and handed one Taehyung to see. “I got them custom made. There’s something written on the other side.”

Taehyung twirled it in his fingers and brought it towards the candlelight to see inscriptions on the inside of the ring, sort of like The Lord of the Rings inscription. “Mea tu es. What does that mean?”

“It’s Latin. It means you’re my home.”

This time, the tears fell. He was definitely crying. Jungkook leaned forward and slid the ring on Taehyung’s right hand middle finger. He did the same for the other one for himself. “We’ll always be each other’s home, no matter which part of the world we live in. Promise me Taehyung.”

“I promise. Oh god, I promise.” Taehyung leaned forward and slotted his lips on Jungkook’s soft ones. His hands curled on their own around the other’s neck and he sighed into the kiss at the feeling of Jungkook’s steady hands over his waist.

Taehyung drew away with a smile. “I love you so much.”

Jungkook drew him back into the kiss and murmured, “I love you too, Tae.”

When Yoongi and Jimin came back with candles, they shouted in protest when they saw the other two making out passionately on the floor.

The night ended with Yoongi blasting Mamamoo songs and dancing along to them while the other three watched, dying of laughter.

Taehyung would never, ever forget this night.

~

By the time it was midnight, almost everyone had gone home and it was just Yoongi, Hoseok and Taehyung left. Yoongi had forbidden gifts because he really didn’t want to bake more cakes. So three of them were curled up on the couch with Taehyung in the middle, watching some overrated horror movie. The only fun part was watching Hoseok’s reaction to each and every remotely scary scene. He screamed in fright and jumped whenever any of the characters saw anything dark or scary.

Taehyung was about to go to sleep, wearing a pair of Yoongi’s most comfortable nightwear, when they heard the doorbell ringing twice.

“Who could it be now?” Yoongi muttered and walked towards the door without pausing the movie. Taehyung really didn’t care. He snuggled up against Hoseok, closed his eyes and the other slung one of his arms around Taehyung. They had gotten pretty close due to their similar personalities in the last four hours.

Taehyung could hear Yoongi speaking with someone at the door. Their voices were becoming louder and louder and Taehyung could hear it even over the loud movie. There was something familiar…

“Taehyung, I’m home.”

Taehyung opened his eyes in shock. He wasn’t imagining it. It was Jungkook’s voice in the living room. He sat up and saw Jungkook standing there, with his bags, dirty clothes, messy hair, everything.

“J-Jungkook?”

That’s when Taehyung noticed how he looked. He was lightly swaying on his feet, like he was drunk, and his eyes were narrowed. Taehyung realized what it must look like in Jungkook’s hazy mind and he quickly got up on the couch.

“Yes, Taehyung. It’s me. Your boyfriend. Why are you cuddling with another man?”

“Jungkook, this is Hoseok, he’s actually Yoongi’s—”

Jungkook walked forward and grabbed Taehyung’s arm, dragging him towards the door. “I don’t care. You’re coming home with me now.” His speech was slow and slurred, like it was hard for him to get out the words from his mouth.

“Jungkook, let me wear my coat and say bye. It’s cold outside.”

“No.”

Taehyung threw him an annoyed look and shook him off. He slipped on his coat and looked at a pissed off Yoongi and a stunned Hoseok. “I’m sorry guys. I’ll be back later.”

Yoongi crossed his arms over his chest. “Are you sure you want to go home with him in this state?”

Taehyung gave a small smile, “It’s okay Yoongi.”

Yoongi uncrossed his arms but his eyes were still narrowed. Taehyung grabbed Jungkook’s bicep and led him towards the exit.

It was really cold outside. The streetlights were, as usual, switched off and Taehyung drew his coat closer to himself while tightening his grip around Jungkook’s arm. “You had no right to take me away from my friends like that. It was really rude.”

“But you were cuddling with someone else instead of me!”

“That was Yoongi’s boyfriend, for fuck's sake. Can you stop looking through your narrowed mind for a second?”

“I’m sorry Tae.” Jungkook paused for a moment. “Why were you in Yoongi’s house instead of home anyways?”

“I did not want to be alone for Christmas. I didn’t even know you were coming, or I would have waited for you, like I always do.” Taehyung whispered the last part.

He rubbed his eyes and leaned against Taehyung. “It was supposed to be a surprise. And then we were going to go to Yoongi’s.” Jungkook slurred.

“Why were you so late?”

“I met some friends on the way and they insisted on having a drink.”

“When are you going back?”

“Tomorrow.”

Taehyung sighed. He knew he was hoping for too much when Jungkook had come right before Christmas unannounced. He knew he was busy, but this is the first time in almost a year he had come home. Taehyung really hayed being alone, and Jungkook was never there like before to help him.

“Okay, let’s go home.” Taehyung murmured.

“Home,” Jungkook whispered back.

-

The next morning, Taehyung woke up with a warm hand slung around his waist and sunlight dazzling his vision. Taehyung turned around and was met with the sight of Jungkook sleeping peacefully next to him.

Taehyung could feel the happiness and warmth seep into his heart slowly. It had been so long since he had been woken up with warmth instead of just the big, empty and cold bed. Jungkook’s mouth was open slightly and his chest was rising up and down. His eyelashes cast shadows over his defined cheekbones and the small scar on his left cheek was highlighted in the sunlight. His hair was fluffy and gold in the morning light. He was wearing his favorite banana pajamas that Taehyung had forced his unconscious form to change into. It had been gathering dust for too long.

Jungkook had always been so ethereal. Taehyung was reminded of his beauty again, like a slap on his face. What was someone as beautiful and talented as him doing here, lying on his bed?

Jungkook must have sensed Taehyung's stare, because he opened his eyes. “Tae.”

Taehyung didn’t say anything in fear of interrupting this dream. Jungkook continued speaking. “Taehyung, I’m here. You’re not dreaming.”

Taehyung rested on his hand, facing Jungkook. “Okay.”

“I’m so sorry for acting like a dick last night.”

“It’s okay, baby.”

Jungkook smiled. “It’s been so long since I’ve heard someone call me that.”

“I love you, baby.”

Jungkook wrapped both his arms around Taehyung’s torso and drew him closer until he was snuggled against his chest, burying his face in Jungkook’s neck while Jungkook nuzzled his nose against Taehyung’s hair. “Me too, baby. Me too.”

They laid there for some time. It was warm and perfect. Taehyung almost wanted to fall asleep but he also didn’t want to miss this experience, as rare as gold dust, filling him up with memories that he would have to look back at for the next few months because there would be nothing else left. His heart hurt so much, and he was tired of missing someone who was as unpredictable as the weather — he never knew when he was coming or when he was going. Maybe one day he would leave and never come back.

“Jungkook, can I ask you something?”

Jungkook hummed in response so Taehyung continued. “Are you going to tell your fans you’re dating someone?”

Taehyung could feel Jungkook’s body stiffen. “Tae…”

“Maybe not right now, I know this country has problems with same-sex relationships, but maybe sometime in the future? I’m so tired of hiding out here. I used to love it with you, just us in the middle of nowhere, but it has been so empty lately, Jungkook. I just want to come with you and not hide anymore.”

“Taehyung…”

“I want to go on dates with you in the restaurants of the city, not eat my disgusting home-made food every day. I want to go to parks and hold hands and feed the ducks in the lake, not stay at home and watch movies. I want to send you flowers every day at work, not make flower crowns which you stash away, like a secret.”

"Taehyung. You know why we can’t do that. I talked to my publicity team again recently, they still think it’s a bad idea, especially right before my comeback and my world tour. I hate hiding you away like a secret too, baby. I hate it so much.”

Taehyung wiped away the tears quickly. He knew Jungkook would feel really bad if he saw him crying. “It’s okay. I understand. You’re so famous and talented. If you came out with a nobody like me, your company will be ruined.”

Jungkook grabbed Taehyung’s chin and tilted it towards his face. He looked mad. “Taehyung, don’t ever believe that you’re a nobody. You’re my whole world.”

Taehyung smiled. He knew that wasn’t enough. It was never enough. “Okay.”

“I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I’ll try and make it up to you after I finish working on this album. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to your promise, Jeon Jungkook.” Taehyung shifted forward and kissed Jungkook.

At this moment, that was enough for both of them. When Jungkook tilted to the side to hover over Taehyung and place open-mouthed kisses over his neck, Taehyung gripped Jungkook’s back, making indents with his long fingers, hoping they would last for a long time. When they made love sitting up, Taehyung weaved his fingers through Jungkook’s hair, pulling him as close as he could and hid his tears over his shoulders. When Jungkook came hard with Taehyung’s name pouring from his lips like a litany, Taehyung accepted it with all his heart, kissing it better. And they repeated it again. And again.

Then it was time for Jungkook to leave, and Taehyung followed the routine like a robot: pack his bags, give him some food for the journey, fetch his face-mask, kiss him goodbye at the gate, follow after him with his home keys because he forgot them, kiss him goodbye again, come back to the empty house and cry. And he repeats the last step again. And again.

-

For the next few days, Taehyung dives into his job, stress-making bouquets and going house-to-house to sell flowers, which is something he doesn’t do normally. He meets with Yoongi for coffee one day and apologizes to him for Christmas eve. Yoongi chalks it up to Jungkook being a drunk dick, but Taehyung says that he doesn’t do this often. Yoongi forgives the drunk dick.

Then it’s Taehyung’s birthday, and he spends it with Yoongi and Hoseok in a nearby restaurant. He also gets a text from Jungkook and a voice note, promising a gift when they meet next, and Taehyung is happier than he ever was in the last five days because that means that Jungkook would be coming back soon. Yoongi gives him a really pretty jumper and Hoseok buys him lots of chocolates.

They spend New Year’s together too. Taehyung tries calling his dad, but he doesn’t pick up as usual. Taehyung goes out to a club with Yoongi and Hoseok and watches them make out at midnight while he chugs down whatever alcoholic drink he can find in the nearest one-mile radius. They have to carry him home while he sings his favorite Jungkook songs and tries to do all the dances.

The next morning, Taehyung wakes up with the worst headache. Yoongi tells him that he had tried to get them to shoot a music video that will, and he quotes, will be better than Jungkook’s and Jimin’s new music video, but fell asleep while getting the camera. Taehyung doesn’t remember any of it.

And Taehyung’s life resumed as normal. Getting up every day to sell flowers and going to sleep after watching some of his favorite dramas while eating one-minute ramen. Yoongi always chastised him on it, telling him he needs to cook once in a while, but Taehyung laughed it off, wondering when their roles reversed since it was always Taehyung who used to scold Yoongi about eating properly. He was too tired to cook these days.

One day, Yoongi goes shopping for some eggs when the three of them are at his house, leaving Taehyung and Hoseok alone. Hoseok asks him about his family. Taehyung said that his mother died of a heart problem and his father had refused to speak to him since he gave up his dreams of being an athlete. That’s why he is so dependent on Jungkook’s company — he has no one else.

Hoseok understands, and is surprised that he used to run. They have a spontaneous race to see who is faster and Taehyung wins. Yoongi comes back to find that Hoseok has replaced him as Taehyung’s best friend because of his love of different forms of physical exertion like working out.

Taehyung is as happy as he can be in the daylight, but when night falls and he is alone in the empty house, Taehyung wants to sob. He lies in his bed cocooned in his blankets under the dim light of the annoying Iron Man night lamp that Jungkook had bought so many years ago and watches their old video logs that they had recorded. He wakes up with nightmares just before dawn and then goes to watch something or cook something because there is no one to reassure him to go back to sleep.

And Taehyung is okay. He doesn’t mind this existence. He just needs to last until something better happens that tells him otherwise.

Taehyung is fine

-

It happens when Taehyung is at his shop. It’s a slow day and not many customers are coming in. It’s pretty cold outside, but the bright sunlight that is filtering in makes everything slightly warmer.

Taehyung is about to bring some of his stock outside when he heard a text notification sound from his phone. Taehyung took his phone out of his apron pocket and unlocked it.

Taehyung clicked the link. It was another article on the web about Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin. But this time, Taehyung breaks down. He realized his cheeks were wet even before he realized he was crying.

Apparently, Jungkook and Jimin released a video, coming out to the public about their recent relationship and even kissed on camera to prove it. All their fans are going crazy because almost all of them already shipped them together. Taehyung sees the pictures of them at the airport, and then he sees the video. He sees the man that he loves confess his love to another man and he sees them kiss.

That’s when it hit Taehyung. He now knew why Jungkook didn’t want to tell anyone about their relationship. He was already in love with someone else. Someone who was as perfect and talented as him. Someone who actually had a very promising career ahead of him. Someone who was good enough for him.

Taehyung had known for a long time that their love was running out, but he didn’t know it would be over so soon, and he definitely wasn’t ready.

Taehyung felt the tears drip on his open palms. He tossed his phone aside and closed his shop. He walked up to the apartment and curled up on the bed. The goddamn tears just weren’t stopping. He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath to control himself from having a complete breakdown. The bed still smelled a little like Jungkook’s perfume. Taehyung broke down again.

How could his Jungkook break his heart like this? Someone who had promised him the world so many times over? Taehyung couldn’t understand when Jungkook had stopped loving him. He was probably embarrassed of dating a nobody like him and that’s why he hadn’t even told him directly that he moved on.

Taehyung also wondered how could someone as sweet as Park Jimin do something like this. He hadn’t seemed spiteful at all. Maybe it was Taehyung who was stupid enough to be blinded by sweet smiles and Christmas gifts and still think Jungkook loved him. Taehyung was stupid.

That’s how Yoongi found him when he came over — curled up with his work clothes completely drenched with tears and snot. 

By the time Yoongi had calmed him down a little and helped him sit up, Taehyung knew what he had to do. Yoongi tried to get him to stop and think a little, but he had already made up his mind. He even tried calling Jungkook a few times, but he didn't pick up and it went straight to voicemail. Guess he didn't even deserve an actual verbal explanation.

Taehyung took out his suitcase and started packing. That’s when Yoongi left and Taehyung’s resolve solidified. There was nothing holding him back here.

The first time Jeon Jungkook had laid eyes on Kim Taehyung was when he was in his second year of college. He was completing his homework in a café, when he heard the doorbell chime. Jungkook looked up to see a boy and a man walk in, probably his father because they looked similar. The boy was wearing a black shirt and trousers with blue sneakers and a backpack. He bought some coffee with his dad and the elder man walked out after bidding the younger goodbye. The boy sat down on one of the corner tables and took out a bunch of books and papers and started working on it.

With his homework forgotten, all he could do was stare. The other boy had a straight face, bordering on a frown. His stare was intense when he started writing. But then his phone chimed and when he looked at the notification, his face lit up with the light of a thousand suns. He gave one of the brightest smiles and Jungkook was in love.

He would do whatever was in his power to keep that smile posted on that face.

-

Jungkook was bored out of his mind. His uncle had forced him to come with him to the race with him and he was almost asleep. Jungkook didn’t mind taking part in races, but when he had to sit still and watch, he grew tired pretty quickly.

“Jungkook, come let’s meet the director and then leave.” His uncle told him. Jungkook got up and stretched. Thank god it was time to go back home.

Jungkook was about to walk off when he spotted the contestants that were receiving the prizes. And in first place was the boy from the coffee shop. His bright smile was stuck on his face when he accepted the award.

Jungkook knew his chance was now or never. He turned around to his uncle and asked, “What’s the name of the contestant who received first place?”

“Kim Taehyung. I’ve heard that he’s really good.” His uncle replied. Jungkook nodded in thanks and started walking towards him. “Wait, where are you going Jungkook?”

“To talk to him!” Jungkook replied with a large smile on his face. He was walking backwards while replying to his uncle, when he felt someone collide with him, making them both fall down. Jungkook groaned and straightened himself, only to be met with that beautiful face and wide dark eyes. “Taehyung-ssi?”

Goddamn it. He wanted to hit himself in the head. He must probably think he was some sort of stalker. But Taehyung gave him a large smile instead. “Yes?”

“M-my name is Jungkook and Jeon Sungwa is my uncle. I just wanted to congratulate you on your win." Great, now he had a stutter. Where was the Jeon Jungkook all the girls in his year swooned over?

“Thank you so much Jungkook-ssi. It was nice meeting you.” Taehyung replied and Jungkook fell in love all over again, but this time with his voice. It was deep and smooth, like rich dark chocolate that you have when you have been craving sweet for a long time.

Then Jungkook noticed that he was walking away. So he did the next thing any logical person would do. He grabbed his arm. Congratulations, Jungkook, you creepy stalker. "I-I'm sorry, but do you maybe, um, want to get a coffee sometime? Or if you don’t like coffee then we can get tea. Or if you don’t like tea then—”

Thankfully, Taehyung interrupted his embarrassing rant. “Sure, Can I have your number?” Jungkook’s heart almost stopped in his chest. Cute Coffee Shop Boy was asking him for his number. His number!

“Y-yes.”

They exchanged numbers and walked their own ways. Once he was a hundred per cent sure that Taehyung couldn’t see him (he checked twice), Jungkook did a little happy dance.

His uncle might have looked at him a little weirdly, but nothing could have stopped that smile that had crept on to his face permanently.

-

The next few years were heaven for Jungkook. Not only did he finally start working with his uncle, he also had Taehyung in his life.

He was literally everything he wasn’t. Taehyung was attentive, caring, collected and meticulous. From someone who didn’t know him that well, he might have appeared as if he was not thoughtful, but he was. He was kind, unselfish and calm. He always achieved his goals step-by-step and wasn’t impulsive like Jungkook, pulling him back at times he was being stupid. The day he asked Taehyung to move in with him was his happiest because Taehyung looked so elated. Jungkook loved everything about him, his smile, his laugh, his crazy purple hair phase (where he looked like an actual angel), his choice of hobbies, his passion towards living and his ability to find small good things in everything.

And as an added bonus, he was hot as fuck. Jungkook could write a whole mid-term paper about how beautiful his boyfriend was.

Taehyung had accepted the fact that he needed to move to Busan so readily. Jungkook had tried so hard to make him stay, but he wouldn’t budge. And Jungkook’s respect for him grew tenfold.

Their life was perfect until he had to shift back and forth between Seoul and Busan. He saw how it tore Taehyung every time he left for an indefinite time, and how he accepted him with open arms whenever he came back.

Jungkook knew he didn’t deserve Taehyung. Someone so perfect and beautiful deserved way more than what he could provide. Jungkook knew would try with every day, every week and every year with his last breath to love Taehyung as much as he loved Jungkook, even with all his imperfections. He knew how Taehyung had given up his whole life just for Jungkook. And Jungkook would spend his whole life to try and repay him.

It was really scary how Taehyung managed to do all he could and still managed to be an amazing person. If Jungkook was in his place, he knew he could never do what Taehyung did for him. Waiting for days and days for the other to come back. Jungkook had his busy work life and all his fans to distract him from the loneliness, but he knew Taehyung didn’t.

Jungkook still remembered the smile on Taehyung’s face when he had told him the stupid story of the kid and his father in the bus. That is the smile he wanted to see permanently on Taehyung’s face. Maybe Jungkook wasn’t doing such a bad job after all.

But Jungkook knew something was going to go wrong when his publicity manager came up to him after New Year’s to convince him to fake date Jimin by releasing a video. Jungkook thought he was joking at first and laughed it off, but when his manager told him he was completely serious, Jungkook balked.

“This doesn’t make any sense at all. I have tried asking you so many times about coming out with Taehyung to my fans, but you always told me that the homophobia in this country will end my career. How are Jimin and I going to be any different?”

“We recently conducted a survey and we found out that your fans here do not mind since they think you both are together anyways. And you always knew your international fans don’t mind. Unlike Korea, people are more open-minded abroad. Jungkook, this will be good for you and your career. We have tried to slip in hints and people seem to be more enthusiastic about the whole thing.”

“I don’t know sir. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“Think about it Jungkook. If your fans think you and Jimin are dating for some time, it will not only boost your sales because more people will be curious to know what a homosexual singer wants to say because it’s something different, but it will also leave people more open-minded. So if after a few months you say you broke up with Jimin and say you are dating Taehyung, people will be okay with it. Then you can be in the public with Taehyung.”

“Okay.”

“Jimin also agreed to it, saying he had no issues if it boosts his album sales. It’s just some fake dating where you have to go to some public events together and maybe kiss once in a while. You have also starred in some dramas. You know how to act and kiss. You can do it.”

“Fine, I’ll do it. But on one condition.”

“What?”

“You are not releasing the video till I tell Taehyung. I want him to find out from me only.”

“Okay, sure.”

-

“What the actual fuck.”

“Jungkook, calm down. We have no idea how the video leaked, but we are trying to take it back.”

“Are you seriously fucking kidding me right now?”

“No, I swear we have no idea how this happened. It was out for only three days and—”

“Three whole days?”

“Yes, and we are trying to trace it back to the…Jungkook, where are you going?”

“To Busan.”

“You can’t go to Busan now! You have an interview in—”

But Jungkook was already out of the door with his bag.

-

The whole car ride was spent by Jungkook by asking his driver to go faster and checking his phone. He tried calling Taehyung many times, but his phone was switched off. Then he checked his call log and Jungkook wanted to hit himself because there were three missed calls from Taehyung that he hadn't noticed because he never checked his phone. He even tried calling Yoongi, but the calls when straight to voicemail each time.

Jungkook knew that this one mistake could cost him Taehyung, all that was still good to him in his world. Something he never, ever wanted to lose.

When his car finally reached the familiar street, Jungkook had already unlocked the door and asked his driver to wait at the end of the road. Jungkook ran out of the car when it stopped in front of his house, his heart beating in his chest.

Jungkook reached the entrance and his heart stopped. The gate wasn't locked, but Taehyung's flower shop was. His whole stock was outside, drying in the sunlight, and that's when Jungkook knew he was too late because Taehyung never left his flowers out in the open like this. He walked in and climbed the stairs to his house. He unlocked the door with shaking hands and was greeted by empty silence. There was no one inside. He had made the biggest mistake of his life and he was too late.

Jungkook walked up to their bedroom and pushed the door to go inside. He opened his cupboard and realized that all of Taehyung's clothes were gone. His adorable pink fluffy slippers were missing, the hair bands that he always left lying around were missing, his collection of neckties were gone and even the little satin box in which he kept some of his expensive jewellery was gone. Taehyung had definitely left.

Jungkook was about to walk out to search for him when he saw something glinting on the bedside table. Jungkook walked up to it and realized it was the ring he had given Taehyung. That's when Jungkook felt the tears slowly drip down from his eyes. He kept the ring safely in his pocket. He would return the cold metal to its owner, make it warm again.

Jungkook turned around and spotted an envelope on the neatly made bed. It was addressed to him in Taehyung's beautiful cursive hangeul. Jungkook picked it up and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Dear Jungkookie,  

If you are reading this, it’s probably because I finally left. I have no idea what I’m going to do though. I’ll probably start working at another flower shop first because that is the only thing I can do properly these days. Before you freak out or worry, I am staying with my dad. It took some convincing, but he finally agreed to take me back once I promised to find a new place here in Seoul and move out as soon as possible.

Promise. That’s such an overrated word, isn’t it Jungkook? So many people use it as a seal of guarantee, but it’s just a simple word, just like sorry, or love. It’s the feeling that is attached to it that people use as a sentiment. It’s not written proof of anything.

So when you left me after Christmas Jungkook, I did a lot of thinking. I realized a lot of things. The sentiment that was attached to your promises and love had expired. It doesn’t last forever for a lot of people, and I guess we were some of them. There was nothing holding me back in the house we brought five years ago, except expired promises and ghosts of memories that were once alive. That’s when I realized that no reason to stay was a good reason to go.

I have no reason to stay Jungkook. But please don’t forget that from the day you found me after that race till this very moment and till all the days and years that are yet to come, I loved you and I will love you. I am not going to promise because it holds no value to me anymore, but I will give it to you in writing, so you can use it as solid proof.

I will always love you, Jungkookie. Nothing can change that.

So please don’t think I resent you or anything, because I don’t. I am so proud of all the things you have accomplished and the determination you had. I don’t think anyone could have done it as well as you, but I may be a little bit biased. I wish you all the best for anything you are planning to do in the future, and I have full faith in you because I know your hard work will pay off. I also wish you all the best for whoever you choose to love after me. I wish I could meet them and tell them what an amazing person you are.

Maybe if the timing was a little more right, we could have had forever. Maybe if you weren’t an idol, there wouldn’t be a thousand factors in both your life and mine trying to hold us apart. But how could I truly wish something to go away when I know that it’s what makes you you and that’s what made us meet in the first place?

Maybe if the situation was a little different, we could still be wrapped up in our blankets in the dim light of the stupid iron man lamp you bought in the cold winter nights that seem so empty without you.

I don’t think I can ever fall out of love for you Jungkook. It’s like falling on a very steep roller-coaster — the descent is easy, but the ascent depends on many factors like speed of the ride, height, gravity, the slope of the rails and a bunch of other calculations. And I am too tired these days to do any of those calculations.

I kept the beautiful ring you gave me on the brown desk in our bedroom. Feel free to do whatever you want to do with it. I also gave up ownership to the house; I signed them all to your name. I also tried not to take much of your stuff, but I might have mistakenly taken some of your clothes or some of the gifts you gave me because I was crying too much while packing.

We will both be okay after this Jungkook. Please don’t try to find me. My dad moved out of our old house, so don’t come after me.

Goodbye, Jungkook.

Love,

Taehyung

This time, Jungkook's heart cried along with the tears that were flowing from his eyes. He curled up on the bed and whiffed the lingering scent of Taehyung that was left. He had no idea how he would fix this. He had no idea where to start.