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You haven’t slept much lately, not that you ever get that much sleep. There’s eighty-something people (and one dog) on this damn ship, and sometimes you feel like you’re the only engineer. Sure, someone else could fix the warp core, sure, someone else could jury rig the busted impulse reactor, but would they do it to your standards? Would you be comfortable letting anyone else take care of your ship? The answer has always been, and will always continue to be, no. It doesn’t help that the ship is trying to navigate a particularly rough patch of space, though. It keeps knocking out the engines, knocking out climate control or air scrubbers or the grave plating on the floors, and you’ve honestly lost track of how long it’s been since you’ve left Engineering for little more than a pee break. You’ve had an ensign bring you coffee a few times, you’ve commed Phlox for a stimulant more than once. Honestly, you feel like this ship is going to start flying apart, or the warp core’s going to bust and you’re gonna be dead in the water in a place that’s trying really hard to kill you. The anxiety is giving you a headache.
(You comm Phlox for some pain killers. He’s reluctant to give you any, says something about something that you don’t quite catch, but your head hurts and you can’t think straight and he’s giving you that hypo, damnit.)
There’s a lull in activity, eventually, ship clicking along slowly at half impulse, navigation in the hands of (hopefully) someone who’s awake enough to fly the ship, so you take a seat on the floor in front of the warp engine, just in case it decides to act up on you.
Of course, you’re tired. You worry over the engine, and you worry over the rest of the ship, and the crew, and… and you worry over Malcolm in particular, sitting up on the bridge. You guess they probably haven’t gotten much sleep up there either…
Something explodes, Archer comms down to Engineering with barely masked panic in his voice, and this is how you spend most of the next day.
Eventually, thank god, the ship gets out of immediate danger, limping the last couple million on thrusters. Damage is extensive enough, and your engineering crew spread thin and exhausted enough, that the captain authorizes you to get every member of the crew with even basic technical knowledge to help with repairs, at least enough to keep the ship from falling apart for a while, so everyone can get some sleep. The warp core’s ready to burst if you don’t pay attention to it and you can’t exactly be everywhere at once, so repairs get underway, you take another stimulant because if you don’t you’ll fall asleep, and try not to worry about the other systems.
About three hours in, you deem the ship operational enough to sit completely still in space for eight to ten hours without falling apart or otherwise leaving you all dead. As soon as the captain’s aware of this, he all but orders everyone except Phlox to bed, including you, much to your exhausted irritation. You’re asleep when your head hits your pillow, though.
You sleep a solid six hours. You’re still exhausted when you wake up, but try as you might, you can’t get back to sleep. You take a shower, a cold one because hot water hasn’t been restored and water pressure is only barely enough for you to successfully have a shower at all, change into some clean fucking clothes (finally), and make your way back down to Engineering. Everyone is still asleep, you expect them to be, so you spend a few hours working on getting the impulse engines operational, a few more fiddling with the warp engine.
People have started to wander in when you decide to go up to the mess. You have reports to look over anyway, a couple days worth to file yourself, so you guess a break is in order. The ship isn’t very mobile but it’s not in danger of falling apart, and that’s really all that matters, really all you can hope to have done. There’s gotta be some coffee by now, though. Even if it’s cold. Honestly, you’ll take anything as long as it’s caffeinated.
Chef- bless him- has a pot of lukewarm coffee ready to go when you get there. You aren’t sure how he heated the water at all, but you don’t care, just pour yourself a cup, grab some food, and plant yourself at a table, PADD in front of you.
You don’t notice Malcolm come in immediately, but he certainly notices you. You look up to see him essentially staring, flash him a smile before he can back out because you’re a little more desperate to talk to an actual friend instead of someone you’re in charge of than you really realize. (His face goes a bit red, and you file that reaction away for later.) You wave him over, and he moves a little too quickly, grabbing breakfast and a cup of coffee himself. You shut your PADD off, because you really don’t want to do your work, really don’t want to have to read damage reports and engineering checklists. You greet him warmly, and he seems to relax.
You eat, talk, ask him about how the last few days have gone on the bridge because you’ve been stuck in Engineering, and he’s quiet, but you expect that. You talk long after you’ve finished eating, after he’s finished, probably a little longer than would be advisable considering the state of the ship, but you almost forget about that. Before you’d like, the ship's comm beeps, and you’re needed in Engineering, he’s needed on the bridge, and you’re still exhausted, but you feel a bit better.
You frown at nothing, briefly debate the pros and cons of just not showing up, before you look back at him and flash a smile. You’ll talk to him later, you tell him, and he agrees, smiles back and you, and
Wow.
Is he ever handsome when he smiles.
(You try to put the thought out of your head but you can’t, spend your day a little too distracted by it, just a little more out of it than you should be, considering all you have to do. This isn’t the first time he’s distracted you just by existing, this isn’t the first time you’ve realized you’re a little bit smitten. You think it’s one sided, of course, why would he like you like that, but it’s not, unknown to you in the present.)