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Loosely based off of the song ‘Lily (My One and Only)’ by The Smashing Pumpkins.
Lily, my one and only
I can hardly wait till I see her..
Pete sighed, gazing longingly and adoringly at the awkward looking boy in the corner. He rested his head in his hand and smiled. He’d been admiring Patrick for well over three months now, and every time he tried to stay away, he just ended up right back where he started. Which— was creepy cause he’d never even spoken to the kid before.
“Dude, why don’t you just talk to him? Patrick’s super nice.” Joe asked, leaning against the wall adjacent to Pete. “I’d know, he’s one of my best friends.” Pete glanced over at him for a second and scoffed.
“It isn’t that simple, Joe. He’s too good for me to just talk to.” Joe gave him a sideways glance and blew out a small breath. He pushed himself off of the wall and looked down at Pete.
“Whatever you say, man.” He mumbled, smirking to himself and wandering off in another direction. Pete frowned.
**
Silly— i know I’m silly
‘Cause I’m hangin in this tree
In the hopes that she will catch a glimpse of me..
When Gabe had told Pete to ‘do something to make him notice you’ he did not expect Pete to do what he did. But then again, he didn’t really know what to expect, because it was pete they were talking about.
“How did you even get up there?” Gabe asked incredulously, his hand a bit over his eyes to shield them from the glistening sun.
“I climbed.” Pete told him simply, then struggled a little and whined, high pitched and frustrated. Gabe couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. “You asshole, don’t laugh at me. This was your idea.” He accused half heartedly. “Now help me get down, my ankle fucking hurts.” Gabe looked at him carefully.
“I don’t think I can get you down. Your ankle is too high up for me to reach and you’re upside down.” Pete groaned and looked desperate.
“Please, Gabe, do something, he’s gonna walk past soon.”
“Isn’t it a little creepy that you know what time he walks past your house every day?” Gabe wondered. Pete tried to smack him, but ended up just spinning a little.
“Fuck off and go get something to help me.” Pete was getting more exasperated at this point. Yes he wanted Patrick to see him, but not hanging helplessly by his ankle from a tree, and dangling upside down five feet off the ground.
“I’ll go get a ladder from my house.” He replied and jogged off in another direction. Pete sighed hopelessly and saw a figure walking towards him.
“Oh, shit.” He bit his lip and frowned a little.
As Patrick approached, Pete could see him tilting his head and squinting at the sight of him dangling by one leg out of a tree. He got closer, and Pete saw he was giggling. He liked making Patrick laugh, so. Success. Pete beamed as he walked past, face splitting into a big, toothy grin, and waved a little at the younger boy. Patrick only laughed, a kind look in his eyes, but Pete swore he saw his fair cheeks tint pink when he looked away.
When Gabe returned five minutes later, a ladder in his arms, it was to a victoriously gleeful Pete.
“Did he come by?” Gabe asked. Pete smiled.
“Yep.” He replied.
“And?”
“He laughed at me.” Pete told him happily. Gabe looked confused.
“And that’s a good thing?”
“It was in his eyes, Gabriel.” Pete responded surely. “It was the first time he really saw me.”
**
And through her window shade
I watch her shadow move
I wonder if she..
Pete scuffed his beat up shoes along the sidewalk, the air rather warm for the time of night it was. His hands sat idly in the pockets of his jacket as he walked down the empty road and back towards his house. That night had been a complete bust— he’d gone to the arcade in hopes of seeing Patrick, who he happened to know (thanks to joe) also went to the arcade on Friday nights, instead of going to football games. In the end, he hadn’t been there, so Pete had just tried to have fun with William, Gabe, Joe, and Ryan. It was okay, but he was still disappointed.
Then Gabe had gotten a call from his parents and had to leave, which meant William had to leave too, since he was his ride. Then Joe and Ryan tried to talk to him about how they don’t understand why he doesn’t just talk to Patrick, or have someone in their friend group do it, since a good bit of them knew the kid.
And of course they didn’t get it. He just wanted it to be authentic and not forced. The sound of someone coughing drew Pete from his thoughts and he looked around for he source of the noise. It looked like it was coming from a house across the street, from a room on the second floor with a light on and open blinds. He stopped walking and blinked up at the room. It looked like a bedroom, a teenagers he’d guess. It was a little messy. Then a figure walked by and Pete found out who was the source of the coughs he’d heard. Patrick.
Pete’s heart sped up as he watched Patrick wander around his room. He felt a little like a creepy stalker, but he figured worse crimes have been committed. Especially since Patrick didn’t know. Victimless.
He stayed, watched, captivated, until Patrick was just a shadow on the side of the room Pete couldn’t see. He sighed through his nose and kept walking home.
**
Lily, my one and only
Love is in my heart and in your eyes..
It'd been a few months since, as gabe called it, ‘the tree incident’, and Pete still had not spoken to Patrick, no, but Patrick knew he existed now. Whenever they were near each other, Patrick would send him a shy smile, blush, and hide himself under the brim of his cap. Pete knew that was a good thing.
Tonight, Pete was at the skate rink with his friends. He really liked this place, they played good music and Pete was a total boss at rollerblading, despite what Joe frequently said. They’d been there for a few hours when Patrick and a couple of his friends showed up. Their eyes met as he walked in the door, Pete’s heart fluttered, and Patrick did what he often did when they’d look at each other. All Pete could do was smile widely back at him.
Awhile later, he was leaning against the railing, watching people fly by, his face flushed and out of breath.
“They play pretty good music here.” Pete heard someone say beside him. He whipped his head around, he knew that voice, pulse sputtering out of control when his eyes were met with the boy that had been consuming his thoughts over the better part of the year. Patrick smiled up at him and then glanced away, eyes fixed on the people skating.
“Yeah,” Pete agreed. “They could be playing something shitty. Like, oh, I dunno, just somethin’ bad.” Patrick laughed. Pete liked the way it sounded.
“Like?” The smaller boy asked. Pete hummed thoughtfully and shrugged.
“Something.” Patrick smiled again.
“Can’t think of any bad music?” He teased. Pete couldn’t take his eyes off of him.
“No, I can, I just can’t think of any bad music that they’d actually play here.” Pete explained, vaguely gesturing around them as he spoke.
“I’m Patrick.” Pete grinned.
“Pete.” He responded, engrossed in the way Patrick’s eyes shone when he spoke.
“So, Pete,” Patrick started, gazing up at him curiously. “Joe tells me you’re a ‘phenomenal’ skater.” He said, voice laced with sarcasm. Pete laughed.
“Oh, I’m an amazing skater.” He replied. Patrick’s eyes glinted with kindness and affection. “I’m sure I’m better than you.”
“Prove it.” The younger boy challenged, eyebrow raised cockily.
“You sure? I’d hate to kick your ass, being that we’ve only just met and all.” Patrick rolled his eyes and grabbed Pete’s hand, dragging him out into the rink.
“I’m sure.”
**
Will she, or won’t she want him?
No one knows for sure
But an officer is knocking at my door..
Pete wasn’t exactly sure how he ended up here. Well, he supposed he had something of an idea. Gabe decided to throw a party, and invited all of his friends, including a certain Mr. Stump. It had started out pretty cool— like most high school parties were. Loud, crowded, and dramatic. Pete had gotten to talk to Patrick for a little while, before Gabe had dragged him away to view a spectacular dive into his above ground pool.
When he’d returned, Patrick had been sitting unusually close to some guy, who was very obviously flirting with him. Patrick seemed to be pretty into it, to which Pete had frowned from where he observed a few feet away. They just kept touching each other. Pete had tried not to be too upset, he didn’t have any claim on Patrick, he could do what he wanted. But when the guy leaned in to kiss him, and Patrick didn’t move away, that was about all Pete could take. His heart clenched, his hands were shaking, so he did the only thing that seemed logical at the time. He ran away.
That’s about where he was now, sitting outside in the wet, dewy grass, shivering in the cold. He couldn’t go back inside, though. He sniffled— he was not going to cry. He refused. The tears that were brimming in his eyes were from the cold, okay? He wrapped his arms around himself and sighed, staring up at the stars, music blasting loudly from within the house. He wanted this stupid party to be over. He wanted to go lay in his bed with a carton of ice cream and watch stupidly cheesy hallmark romance movies, and wallow in self pity and loathing. But more than anything else— he just wanted to be alone.
He stood up and took in a shaky breath, pulled open the door, and looked around. Patrick was nowhere in sight, and neither was the guy he’d seen him with. Pete wanted to vomit, his stomach churning in waves of nausea. He grabbed his coat from the rack behind the door, and slid on his shoes.
“Where are you going, mi amigo?” Gabe asked from behind him. Pete couldn’t turn around, couldn’t let anyone see him in his current state. He cleared his throat before he spoke.
“Home. I’m not feeling that great.” He could practically feel Gabe’s frown.
“Are you alright?” Gabe asked suspiciously. Pete opened the door.
“Yeah, just tired. I’ll see you Monday, Gabe.” He replied, stepping out and shutting the door behind him before Gabe could respond.
Pete didn’t really intend on going home, he just let his feet take him somewhere, until he was surrounded by nothing but his thoughts, the cold making his limbs tingle. He’d been outside for countless hours. So he laid down on the sidewalk and squeezed his eyes shut, shivers and sadness shaking his body until he fell asleep, face pressed against the freezing pavement.
**
And through her window shade
I watch her shadow move
I wonder if she could only see me?
“Do you think he’s okay?” A voice asked nervously.
“I dunno, I hope so.” Someone responded.
“Why would he be passed out on a sidewalk, half buried in ice?” Pete shuddered, he was freezing. He groggily blinked his eyes open, and was working on focusing them when he felt a hand on his cheek. Warm. He tilted his face into it on instinct.
“Jesus, Joe, he’s fucking freezing.” Patrick said, voice laced heavily with concern. Pete still couldn’t really see. “Pete?” He wanted to answer, he did, but he couldn’t focus on speaking at the same time he was trying to make his eyes focus, so he figured he’d just hum. Patrick put his other hand on the side of Pete’s face where there was no hand, and rubbed his thumbs along his cheeks.
“What happened?” Pete squeezed his eyes shut and shivered, big enough to shake his whole body. He felt himself being picked up off the ground. He doesn’t really know how exactly Patrick is managing to carry him, but he isn’t complaining, because heatheatheat.
He assumed they must have been close to Patrick's house, because they were only walking for what he assumed was a few minutes before he was being carried up a flight of stairs and being laid down in a bed. It smelled like cinnamon and cherries, and so overwhelmingly like Patrick.
“We’ll be right back.” Patrick told him softly. Pete hummed again.
They stepped out of the room for a few minutes. When Pete opened his eyes, this time he could see. Patrick’s room was pretty much how he’d expect it to be— posters, a couple guitars, etc. When the door opened again, only Patrick stepped inside. He smiled at Pete softly and pulled the covers over him, his hand smoothing back Pete’s hair.
“What happened, Pete?” Pete didn’t really know how to answer that without sounding like a jealous asshole.
“I dunno.” His voice was scratchy and rough, he blinked up at Patrick drowsily. Patrick stared at him and sighed.
“Okay.” Pete grabbed his hand and tugged on it weakly. His hands were clammy and cold, and Patrick shivered a little when he grabbed his hand. “Jesus, Pete. You could’ve gotten frostbite or some shit. People die in the cold.” Pete frowned.
“M’sorry.” Patrick shook his head.
“Just don’t do anything like that again, okay?”
“Kay.” Patrick smiled a little. “Pat?” He asked sleepily.
“Yes?”
“Will you come lay with me? S’cold.” Pete slurred. Patrick laughed and climbed into the bed beside him. Pete nuzzled his nose into the crook of Patrick’s neck and curled his toes against his calves. His fingers carded through Pete’s hair softly.
“Night, pat.” Patrick looked at him affectionately.
“Goodnight Pete.”
**
And when I’m with her I feel fine
If I could kiss her I wouldn’t mind the time it took to find
My Lily, my one and only
I can hardly wait till I see her..
Pete sagged against the wall of the bar happily. “Pat!” He exclaimed as the younger boy walked over. Patrick giggled at the drunken man and smiled. “My bestest friend!” He yelled loudly. Patrick shushed him, grinning and bracing his hands on Pete’s arms.
“Y’drunk?” Patrick asked knowingly. Pete scoffed overdramatically.
“Nooo.” He pursed his lips guiltily as Patrick smirked. “Maaaybe. But, hey— So is Gabe. And, and Joe. Joe is too, I think. I think i saw him drinking. Yeah.” He babbled the explanation enthusiastically.
“Maybe I should walk you home, before you hit on the bartender and get yelled at again.” Patrick said, amused. Pete waved a dismissive hand and made a little ‘psshh’ sound.
“That was one time. A month ago.” He whined.
“Yeah, but you hit on anything that moves.” Patrick pointed out, poking his arm a little. Pete shook his head aggressively, hair falling over his eyes.
“No, no, see, I flirt with people, but you..” Pete gazed at him lovingly. “You are the only one that means anything, ‘trick.” The blush that lit up Patricks face was very endearing, and it made Pete wish he could do things that he knew he could not do. Like, say, kiss him. He really wanted to do that. Had since the first moment he laid eyes on him almost two years ago. So instead of kissing him, he settled for speaking. “You’re pretty.” Pete told him honestly, batting his eyes at him. Patrick sighed longingly.
“And you’re drunk.” He responded quietly. Pete looked at him for a beat or two.
“Yeah.” Patrick smiled tightly and grabbed his hand.
“Let’s get you home, yeah?” Pete stumbled along behind him.
Once outside, Pete put up a valiant fight to stop and look at the stars.
“But, Patrick,” He complained when Patrick said no again. “They’re so.. so big and vast.” He’d said, eyes shining with wonder. “Infinite possibilities of what you can do! I love the stars!” At this point, his voice was raised to a yell. Patrick smiled.
“Me too, but you gotta get home.” Pete reluctantly followed him.
“Alright, here we are, man.” Patrick said, opening the door for him. He turned to leave and got about halfway through the yard when Pete spoke again.
“Hey, Patrick?” Patrick glanced back at him.
“Yeah?”
“I meant what I said earlier.” Patrick blushed.
“Goodnight, Pete.”
**
Oh Lily, I know you love me
Cause as they’re dragging me away
I swear I saw her raise her hand and wave..
“Happy birthday, dear Patrick, happy birthday to you!” They all sang in unison, a little off pitch. Patrick laughed. Pete tackled him into a hug and breathed in his ear,
“How’s it feel to be twenty, man?” Patrick shrugged.
“Not much different than nineteen.” Pete pouted.
“You’re no fun, Stump. You’re supposed to say ‘I’m one year closer to legally being allowed to drink’.” Patrick rolled his eyes as Pete buried his face in his neck.
“Please. I already drink.” Pete hummed.
“True, but soon you’ll be able to drink with me at bars.” Patrick flushed a little and pursed his lips.
“Keep dreamin’ Wentz.” Pete pulled back and grinned.
“Oh, I will. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He stepped back and climbed up onto a table, waving off the employees of the restaurant who were telling him to get down. He clinked a fork against his glass in a very cliche, romantic fashion, and cleared his throat.
“Hi, everyone. My name’s Pete. I’ve just got an announcement to make real quick. So, as some of you know, it’s my best friend Patricks twentieth birthday today. We’ve been best friends for something around two years now, but what Patrick does not know, is that I’ve known about him for something like three. I spent the whole year, he was seventeen, I was nineteen, watching him from afar, because I couldn’t believe that a human being so fucking, excuse my language,” A few people laughed. “So fucking perfect existed.
I didn’t know how to talk to him, cause I was terrified, and all our friends never really understood why. It’s just that.. I was too scared to approach him, because he deserved something so much more impressive than simply ‘talking’. That sounds really dumb, but you know what I mean?” Some adults looked at him with heart warmed expressions and nodded.
“I also, in hindsight, might have been a little scared that he wouldn’t be everything I built him up to be in my mind, and then even if he was, what would I do? Of course, he was everything I hoped, and then some. But anyways, I tried so hard to impress him, to make him notice me.” He looked over at Patrick, who was blushing furiously, a couple tears in his eyes. “Remember that time you saw me dangling upside down from that tree?” Patrick nodded, a laugh spilling from his chest. “That was part of my plan to impress you. Then you talked to me at the roller rink, and I was so happy I went home and punched a wall.” Everyone chuckled.
“Patrick Martin Stumph. Ive said so many times in my life that I’ve been in love before, but I realize now that isn’t true. I’ve never loved anyone like this. I have been in love with you since the very first time I saw you. It’s never been like this before. And I don’t expect you to feel the same, but you are the light of my entire existence, and it would be wrong of me not to let you know, and to not make you feel like you’re drowning in love on your birthday.”
Patrick wiped a tear off his face and giggled. Everyone around them was ‘aww’-ing and smiling.
“Sir, I’m gonna need you to get off of the table.” An angry looking manager told him. Pete beamed and slowly shook his head.
“Sorry, ma’am. I can’t do that. Patrick’s gonna feel my love.” Everyone laughed as the manager frowned and fumbled with a button to call security. Two big, muscled men came out looking very annoyed and lifted Pete off of the table, and started to carry him out the door. Pete’s eyes met Patricks’. Patrick stared at him, laughing hysterically, a happy look on his face. Pete grinned back at him as Patrick raised his hand and waved. Pete threw his head back and laughed.
**
Goodbye..
Pete was still laughing when they set him down in the parking lot, gave him an irritated glare, and walked back inside. Patrick swung the door open, his hands in his pockets, and smiled at Pete sweetly as he approached him.
“Did you mean all that?” He asked. Pete nodded.
“Yeah.” His voice was laced with sincerity. Patrick intertwined their fingers together and blushed a little.
“Guess what?” Patrick mumbled, blinking up at Pete coyly.
“Hm?”
“I love you too, you dork.” Pete would have beamed, but didn’t have enough time before he had Patrick’s lips pressed softly against his own. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that until Patrick pulled back. He leaned up, kissed Pete’s nose, and grinned, their hands still clasped together between them.
“You’re pretty.” Pete told him. Patrick laughed.
“I know.”
end