Chapter Text
It had been six weeks since Thor had brought his people to Sakaar. It wasn’t the original plan, but bringing a few thousand Asgardians to Earth was deemed a bad idea. It would draw way too much government attention, and NASA would most likely follow them round like paparazzi. Plus, they would need to learn all of those confusing Midgardian concepts like taxes, insurance and mortgage. No, they needed somewhere less complicated, a place that would be unfazed by the presence of a whole new alien race, and Sakaar fit the bill. Travelling there took a good few months; there was no way they would risk going back through the “Devil’s Anus” with so many people on board.
During that time, the Sakaarian revolution had taken place. Society had improved massively - there was no longer a huge divide between the rich and poor, and though some people had chosen to remain scrappers, the rate of cannibalism had decreased significantly. However, one thing that didn’t change was the ruler - The Grand Master. In a last-ditch attempt to cling to his position, he offered to replace the violent Contest of Champions with a song contest called, “The Sound of Sakaar.” Surprisingly, the Sakaarians took to this idea and allowed him to remain in power. But citizens had proved to the Grand Master that they were the ones in control, not him, and now he was more of a celebrity figure rather than a dictator.
To Thor’s relief, the Asgardians were welcomed by the Sakaarians and quickly felt comfortable on this new planet. The place was full of abandoned houses as people were always finding better materials to build new ones, so these would do as a temporary homes. Sakaar was no Asgard, no spectacular rainbow bridge, no beautiful, grand structures and golden sculptures, but it was bursting with vibrant colours. And there was one sculpture: the Hulk’s snarling face embossed onto the wall of his old house from when he had been the Champion.
Thor wandered down the deserted streets that were were usually packed full of civilians; buskers, dancers, playing children, markets and stalls set up in the most inconvenient places. But today, there was no one to be seen, as everyone had flocked to the town square where an announcement was to be made. He drew closer to the dull murmur of the crowd, but was suddenly almost knocked off his feet by a deafening voice.
“Good news, Sakaarians!” Boomed the voice. Looking up, Thor saw a giant hologram of the Grand Master in his usual gold, sequin-plastered gown and his signature blue makeup, flashing a charming smile down at his people. “Our all-new song contest, The Sound of Sakaar, is about to begin, and everyone’s invited! Auditions will take place in three weeks from today and I’ll be on the judging panel, of course. So go, put together a band or even an orchestra, or go solo if you want. And if you can’t sing or play an instrument, make sure you get tickets cuz you won’t wanna miss this. But what is the prize, you ask? Well, apart from fame and glory and whatnot, the winner will receive not a million, not a billion, but one trillion units! Good luck, everyone.”
As soon as the hologram disappeared, the crowd began chattering eagerly to one another. One trillion units? He must be insane. Do you think it’ll be rigged? Maybe we should try out!
The thought of winning one trillion units danced around in Thor’s mind. He recalled back to when he was sold to the Grand Master for 10 million units, which must’ve been a fairly high price. God knows what she did with the money - probably spent it all on booze. But with a trillion, maybe he could buy enough resources for an entirely new planet, and begin rebuilding Asgard. A wave of optimism had rolled over him, and he practically skipped back to Valkyrie’s apartment to tell his friends about this exciting prospect. He had barely acknowledged the fact that he didn’t actually know how to play any instruments.
*
“Hey guys! Did you hear the news?” said Thor, bounding through the door. Bruce and Valkyrie were sitting side by side on her sofa while Loki sat reading in a moth-eaten arm chair at the other side of the room.
“Nope, I shut the windows as soon as I saw that stupid shiny idiot appear in the sky,” she replied, taking a swig of whatever alcoholic drink she had chosen today.
“Well this might actually interest you,” said Thor, “The song contest is going to start in three weeks, anyone can compete, and theres a grand prize of one trillion units.”
Valkyrie almost spat our her drink in shock. “A trillion? You’ve got to be joking.”
“How much is a trillion actually worth?” Asked Bruce.
“It would make you the second richest person on Sakaar, almost as rich as the Grand Master himself. So, a lot basically.” She said.
"Enough to build a new Asgard?” said Thor, his eyes glinting.
Loki put down his book to speak. “You’re not thinking of entering, are you?”
“Not alone.” Thor gave an encouraging look to the other three. Loki scoffed and Bruce shook his head, but Valkyrie was all for it.
“C’mon guys,” she said enthusiastically, “One trillion units! With that, we could probably transform a small planet into a permanent place for the Asgardians to live, and maybe even have some left over.”
“There’s nothing you’d rather spend a trillion on?” Loki asked Thor.
“Of course not,” he replied, “They can’t stay here forever, and I’m their King now - I want to do what’s best for them.”
Loki rolled his eyes. Typical Thor, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his people. Though Loki did want to help create a new Asgard, the thought of them winning this song contest was laughable. “You haven’t touched a musical instrument in your life - we’d never win,” Loki stated.
“I hate to say it but he’s right,” Bruce added, “I don’t play anything either, the odds of us winning are basically zero.”
Valkyrie got up and beckoned them all to follow. “I’ve got loads of instruments lying around,” she said, ignoring their protests. “They’re always getting thrown away and ending up on Sakaar. I reckon you could learn one of these pretty quickly if you really tried.”
“Look I’m not going to participate in a silly-“ Loki began, but stopped as soon as his eyes met Valkyrie’s deathly glare.
“Oh give it a try, brother,” said Thor, heartily, “Maybe you’ll end up enjoying it, you never know.”
*
Valkyrie led them to what seemed like an old cupboard, but when she forced open the stiff steel door, they were met with a huge room stuffed to the ceiling with junk. They stepped inside and picked their way through the mess, careful not to tread on anything. The contents of the room ranged from old sofas and scraps of metal to quite expensive looking chandeliers and other ornaments. Scattered throughout the room, were a variety of musical instruments - some of them Thor and Loki recognised as Asgardian. A viola caught Bruce’s eye and he went over to inspect it.
“This is a real Stradivarius!” He gasped, “How did you even get this?”
Valkyrie shrugged, “Junk pile.” Bruce was shocked and looked almost hurt that an item this valuable was treated with such carelessness and had ended up in a dump.
“I used to play the viola when I was a kid,” he said, placing it back down with care.
“Well it won’t do much good in a rock band,” said Valkyrie.
“Who said it had to be a rock band?” Loki asked, a little miffed.
“Me,” Valkyrie replied shortly. Loki had heard one rock song in his life - Shoot To Thrill by ACDC, and of course that brought back bad memories of Tony Stark blasting him off his feet with the iron man suit. So, needless to say, he was not happy about the idea of being in a rock band. He sulked while searching for a suitable instrument, but unfortunately he knew nothing about Midgardian rock so it was quite a difficult task.
“What about this?” Loki asked, holding up a flute. “I used to play something similar to this on Asgard.”
Valkyrie raised an eyebrow. “That’s the gayest thing you could’ve picked.”
Loki scowled and put it down, longing to retaliate but knew that it wasn’t worth fighting with her again - she would probably win anyway.
“Try this instead.” Valkyrie tossed Loki a sleek black electric guitar with green flames.
“Don’t you think its a bit tacky?” He said, eyeing the flames sceptically.
“Yeah, it suits you,” she teased. Loki turned sharply and opened his mouth, about to say something spiteful but Thor hastily stopped him.
“I think she just means that your signature colour scheme is black and green.”
“I didn’t mean that at all-“
“So, Val! Will you be our lead singer?” Thor cut across her, keen to avoid an argument between the two.
“God no. I’m gonna be the bassist.”
Thor was surprised by this. “But I’ve heard the Valkyries sing and they had such beautiful voices.”
For a moment Valkyrie looked pained by his use of past tense, but shook it off. “I just prefer playing the bass is all.”
Thor and Bruce had still not found anything. All of the Asgardian instruments were intended for angelic hymns or songs sang before battle, and the ones from other planets looked too complicated. Thor needed something simple, something he could learn in three weeks - if that was even possible.
“Hey Thor, fancy playing the drums?” Valkyrie called from across the room. He looked over to see her hauling a drum kit out from amongst the clutter. Apart from the dust, they looked quite new and were painted a deep, sparkling purple. Thor walked up to them curiously and Valkyrie handed him a pair of drumsticks.
“I’ve never seen a set of drums before, I didn’t expect so many different parts. You think I can learn this in three weeks?” Thor asked, sounding unsure.
“If you dedicate all your time to practising, and I mean all of it, you should be able to play a simple backbeat,” said Valkyrie, “I’ll clear some space so we can practise in here.”
Thor began helping her shove some of the clutter to the walls, giving them an area to set up the drum kit and three amps, one for the bass, one for the lead guitar, and one for the microphone. They also pulled two sofas into the middle of the room so they could be able to have breaks while practising. The warm glow of the single lightbulb made the atmosphere cosy and relaxed, and it reminded Bruce of those bands that kids in high school would set up in their garage - which he had secretly always wanted to be a part of.
“So I guess this leaves Banner as the lead singer,” said Valkyrie, fiddling with the mic stand.
“What- No!” Bruce exclaimed, startled. “I don’t sing.”
“Come on, don’t be shy.” Valkyrie adjusted the height of the stand so that the microphone was level with her knees. “Look, I even made it your size.”
“Very funny,” Bruce muttered as the two brothers chucked. “But seriously, I don’t sing. You’re gonna have to find someone else.”
“Whatever you say.” Valkyrie seemed unfazed, as if she didn’t believe him. “Well, you can help The Twink tune his guitar or something.”
“I asked you to stop calling me that,” said Loki through gritted teeth. Bruce cringed inwardly at the tension between them. It seemed that Valkyrie could hold a grudge for aeons, and wasn’t prepared to forgive Loki for trespassing on her most painful memory any time soon. And though Loki appeared to have changed for the better, Bruce remembered the events of the Battle of New York all too vividly, and knew what he was capable of. Bruce couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy whenever Valkyrie would taunt him, scared that the next insult would push Loki over the edge, turning him back into the murderous psychopath he once was. But he was tolerating it well enough, and nothing ever got violent between him and Valkyrie - thank God.
“We’re gonna need to find a lead singer fast if we want that prize,” said Thor. “Banner are you sure you can’t sing?”
“I’m sure. Also, doesn’t it seem a bit too crazy that the prize would make you the second richest person on Sakaar?” Bruce speculated. “It could be a scam.”
“I doubt it. He probably has money to throw away, and a trillion units is nothing to him,” replied Valkyrie.
“But what if someone with bad intentions gets their hands on it?”
“Then that’s all the more reason why we must win,” Thor chipped in. The optimism he felt when he first heard about the contest had simmered down, and was replaced with a more serious sense of determination. There would be hundreds of others competing for that gargantuan prize, and it was up to him and his brother to learn their new instruments to a good enough standard to beat them in the audition. He needn’t worry for Loki - he managed to quickly pick up the skill for nearly any instrument he chose to learn on Asgard. But Thor, being a total beginner to music, couldn’t help but doubt himself a little. However, he knew he had to try, and he was adamant on giving it his best shot.