Chapter Text
MARCH 9, 2039
WEDNESDAY
(10:46 AM) hey
(10:51 AM) what
(10:51 AM) i have a surprise for you
(10:54 AM) what the fuck does that mean
(10:55 AM) ;))
(10:55 AM) you’ll love it
(10:56 AM) and you won’t be getting out of it, either
(10:56 AM) already got fowler on board ;)
(11:17 AM) elijah what the FUCK are you talking about
(11:17 AM) fowler says he literally hasn’t talked to you in years
(11:17 AM) he’s such a good guy
(11:17 AM) keeping my secrets
(11:18 AM) hopefully you’re thoroughly freaked
(11:20 AM) oh my god please tell me you didn’t fucking ask for me to get that time off
(11:20 AM) cuz i swear i already told you i’m not going with you, take fucking chloe or something
(11:20 AM) i’m sure you’ll have more fun with her there anyway, pervert
(11:21 AM) i am hurt and offended
(11:21 AM) but no, it’s not that
(11:22 AM) i’ve already come to terms with you staying in this dreary city instead of taking an honest to god vacation for once in your life
(11:22 AM) barbados will miss you
(11:25 AM) whatever
(11:25 AM) then what the hell man
(11:25 AM) just fucking tell me i hate this shit
(11:27 AM) what do you think the word surprise means?
(11:30 AM) i’m going to fucking kill you
(2:32 PM) yeah probably
(2:32 PM) also mom wants to know if you’ll be there for dinner tonight
(2:37 PM) why doesn’t she just ask me herself ??
(2:40 PM) fuck if i know
(3:02 PM) well?
(4:21 PM) gavin don’t just ignore me
(4:43 PM) dude i was on location
(4:43 PM) yeah sure whatever i’ll stop by i guess
(4:45 PM) no you’re gonna be there the whole time none of this “stopping by” bullshit
(4:45 PM) fucking fine okay bye
MARCH 12, 2039
SATURDAY
(7:21 PM) <1000274.img>
(7:21 PM) hey bitchhh
(7:24 PM) asjdkfkshads fuck OFF
(7:25 PM) <1000275.img>
(7:25 PM) it’s you tho
(7:27 PM) <832767.img>
(7:27 PM) okay, but: THAT’s you
(7:27 PM) bye bitch
(7:27 PM) COWARD
MARCH 14, 2039
MONDAY
(9:29 AM) hey elijah i just have one question for you
(9:30 AM) what the FUCK
(9:30 AM) are you fucking KIDDING ME???
(9:30 AM) did you REALLY have a fucking hand in this?
(9:37 AM) i swear to god i actually fucking hate you right now
(10:15 AM) i see you’ve met my surprise
(10:15 AM) don’t you just love him
(10:18 AM) i hate it
(10:32 AM) aww big baby
(10:34 AM) you should be thanking me
(11:01 AM) why
(11:01 AM) the FUCK
(11:01 AM) would i
(11:22 AM) idk
(11:22 AM) i just
(11:22 AM) have this feeling
(11:27 AM) that’s such bullshit
(11:28 AM) is it?
(11:28 AM) fowler fucking told me
(11:29 AM) damn
(11:29 AM) well he is NOT getting a gift basket
(11:33 AM) it’s already tried getting me off my phone like 3 fucking times now
(11:34 AM) good, you work in LAW ENFORCEMENT
(11:34 AM) go solve some crimes
(11:56 AM) tell me one thing
(11:56 AM) sure
(11:56 AM) why, just WHY does it look so much like connor
(11:57 AM) well
(11:57 AM) they ARE the same series
(12:13 PM) so? that means literally nothing and you know that best of all
(12:17 PM) kate mentioned the idea of brothers
(12:29 PM) who?
(12:32 PM) our lead designer
(12:34 PM) mm
(12:34 PM) android brothers
(12:35 PM) wow
(12:35 PM) you have really outdone yourself lij
(12:50 PM) does this mean you forgive me
(12:54 PM) absolutely not
(3:42 PM) how are you faring
(4:12 PM) i thought androids were all deviant now
(4:13 PM) ?? yeah? they are?
(4:13 PM) you fucked this one up
(4:14 PM) i’ll sue you for slander
(4:15 PM) when the court sees this one
(4:15 PM) i will WIN
(9:24 PM) how long
(9:26 PM) how long what
(9:27 PM) how long is it gonna be here
(9:27 PM) indefinitely?
(9:29 PM) WHAT
(9:29 PM) what did you think?? he isn’t just trying something out, that’s his JOB
(9:29 PM) well here’s to my early retirement
(9:30 PM) oh stop
(9:32 PM) i’m serious
(9:32 PM) what’s so wrong with him
(9:36 PM) you want to hear all about it?
(9:36 PM) i love hearing about your pain
(9:36 PM) and you know, gossip ;))
(9:43 PM) alright well. here goes. like i SWEAR you programmed this one with a stick up its ass. it’s absolutely hell to deal with, so much worse than connor is and that is SAYING SOMETHING, and you know maybe it’s because this one has to be with me fucking CONSTANTLY for some reason but at the same time i think it’s just because it is actually out to make my life a living hell. apparently it’s fucking bilingual in english and sarcasm and really doesn’t know what a fucking emotion is (see? is it even deviant yet?) and ALSO it barely even gives me a chance to do shit on the scene! my own job! apparently i’m “too slow” for its tastes
(9:45 PM) and i mean i fucking GUESS it’s great for paperwork but just
(9:45 PM) ugh
(9:46 PM) you done?
(9:46 PM) yeah
(9:48 PM) okay well first off: all androids are fluent in every language, please don’t say he’s merely bilingual i’m taking that to heart here
(9:48 PM) dumbass
(9:48 PM) but hey
(9:48 PM) sorry about it?
(9:49 PM) no you’re not
(9:49 PM) no, i’m really not
(9:49 PM) i hate you
(9:50 PM) thanks for letting me rant
(9:50 PM) go fuck yourself
(9:50 PM) you are such a drama queen, i love you