Chapter Text
A horrible sound is heard, which turns out to be Kaede playing the piano until the doorbell rings. Gundham was at the door.
"Yeah, uhh, we're with the pet hospital down the street and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises." Gundham said before Kaede shut the door on him.
She turned as the phone started to ring. "Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the," She played a piano note.
“Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh, ol' chum?” Said the voice from the phone causing Kaede to gasp.
“Hiyoko Saionji from Hopes Peak Academy?!” Kaede exclaimed.
“I heard you’re playing the cash register now.” Hiyoko said from the other line.
“Sometimes. Uh, how’s the pigtails?”
"They're big and valuable." She said wiggling them, "I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the Dangan Bowl next week."
Kaede started to stutter, "The da-da-da... The da-da-da... The da-da-da?!?!"
"That's right. I'm living your dreams, Kaede. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us."
"Ohh, uhh, I... I, uhh..."
"I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now."
"Hold it! It just so happens that I don't sell fast food, I do have a band, and we're gonna play that Dangan Bowl! How do you like that, Dancer Girl?!" Kaede retorted.
"Good luck next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of... ibuprofen!" With that, Hiyoko and Kaede hung up the phones.
"I gotta drum up a marching band fast!" Kaede exlcaimed, then starting to laugh at her own joke, "Drum... haha... band humor."
In the following lines, Tenko, Fuyuhiko, Kirumi, Akane, and Sakura are reading from a poster. Each are in different locations.
"Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?"
"Then become part of the greatest musical sensation to ever hit Dangan Island."
"And be forever adored by thousands of people you don't know."
"Not to mention free refreshments."
"Practice begins tonight. 8:30 sharp."
Kaede was in a taxi that was getting driven by Shuichi. "Stupid music rental clerk made me late. That trilobite didn't know an oboe from an elbow. Elbow, heh, more band humor." Kaede laughed.
When Kaede entered everyone was in the room chattering amongst themselves. "People, people, settle down!" Kaede ordered, standing on stage, "How many of you have played musical instruments before?"
"Do instruments of torture count?" Fuyuhiko asked.
"No."
Gonta raised his hand, "Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
"No, Gonta, mayonnaise is not an instrument." Kaede answered and Gonta lowered his hand. He then raised his hand again and Kaede quickly replied, "Horseradish is not an instrument, either." Kaede spoke again to everyone, "That's fine. No one has any experience. Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you." Kaede laughed to herself and the room was silent. Nobody replied or reacted.
"When do we get the free food?" Akane asked.
Kaede went to her piano and sat, raising her hands over the keys, "Okay, try to repeat after me" She played six notes then looked at the crowd, "Brass section, go." The group repeated the notes poorly. "Good. Now the wind." They also repeated the notes poorly. "And the drums." The group seemed to misunderstand what Kaede meant so they blew on their sticks which out out of their mouths pinning Kaede to the wall. "Too bad that didn't kill me."
"Let's just try stepping in the rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five."
Kokichi smiled excitedly, "Is this the part where we start kicking?"
"No, Kokichi, that's a chorus line." Kaede replied.
"Kicking?" Gonta exclaimed getting up, "I wanna do some kicking!" Gonta turned and kicked Tenko in the leg causing her to lean over and hold her leg.
"Ow!" Tenko growled still holding the kicked spot, "Why, you...! Why I oughta...!" She jumped on Gonta and that both started fighting and struggling until they roll outside and the door slams shut. Its silent until Gonta's long and painful scream is heard and everyone turns to look at the door. Then Gonta pokes his head in.
"Whoever is the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on." He says. Gonta walks in and it is revealed that Tenko has stuck his body in a trombone. Trombone notes are heard as he walks towards his seat. As he sits down, he makes a sound on his trombone. Makes a loud trombone noise as he opens his mouth.
Junko's voice was heard as she held up a time card, "Day two."
The band is walking down a street playing The main Danganronpa theme badly.
"Okay, that's perfect, everybody. Dangan Bowl, here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn. Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers, let's move! C'mon, move!" Kaede ordered.
The flag twirlers, Tsumugi and Keebo spinned the flags so hard that they take off into the sky and crash into a blimp, which causes an explosion. Kaito started to play a sad tune on his trumpet while everyone mourns, except Kaede, who just lies down on the ground.
Junko's voice was heard again as she held up a time card, "Day three."
"How's that harmonica solo coming, Fuyuhiko?" Kaede asked the boy.
"It's tremendous," He replied, "you wanna see?"
Fuyuhiko ran to a big Harmonica and started playing it by running to and from the holes quickly, but soon runs out of breath; on his way to the last hole he blows an unsuccessful last raspberry into the harmonica and faints.
Junko's voice was heard once again as she held up a time card, "Day four."
"Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began..." Kaede mentioned as Gonta chewed on a trumpet, "...but I have a theory. People talk loud when they wanna act smart, right?"
"Correct!" Fuyuhiko yelled.
"So, if we play loud, people might think we're good." "Everybody readied their instruments, Everybody ready? And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four!" On the outside of the music school a blast of noise ensues, breaking the windows. Kaede's face is deformed beyond recognition, her shirt's been ripped, and her baton breaks "Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us."
"Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't try to play with big, meaty hands!" Maki snapped and Akane glared.
"What did you say, punk?!" She snapped turning.
Maki shouted, "Big... meaty... hands!"
"Well, these hands ain't for just attractin' mates!"
"Bring it on, gymnast! Bring it on!"
Kokichi stepped inbetween them with his hands out to both sides, "No, people. Let's be smart and bring it off."
"Oh, so now the talking eggplant is gonna preach to us." Toko yelled.
"Wait, wait. I know tensions are high..." Kaede started to say calmly and immediately a fight broke out. Nekomaru and Sakura are yelling at each other when Hagakure comes up slams a drum on Sakura's head.
"There's a deposit on that equipment, people!" Kaede yelled.
Everyone started using their instruments as weapons. Akane and Maki charge at each other with large woodwinds, but try to screech to a halt, and Kirumi slams them both with her cymbals.
"Settle down, please!"
Tenko and Korekiyo are fighting. Tenko breaks the xylophone keys from Korekiyo and Korekiyo runs off. Gonta kicks Tenko, who growls at him before producing a trumpet with an evil grin. Gonta realizes what's coming and runs away screaming as Tenko chases him with the trumpet. The clock shows it being 10 o'clock and everyone stops fighting.
"Hey, class is over." Kaito said.
The band members walk to the door where Kaede slams it open.
"Well, you did it. You took my one chance in happiness... and crushed it! Crushed it into little, tiny, bite-size pieces. I really had expected better of you people. I guess I'm a loser for that, too. Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a marching accident. So, thanks." She started to sob, "Thanks for nothing!"
And with that, Kaede left.
"You're welcome." Gonta said.
"What kind of monsters are we?" Kokichi started to say, "That poor creature came to us in her hour of need, and we failed her. Kaede's always been there for us when it was convenient for her. Hifumi, when your little Celeste was trapped in a fire, who rescued her?"
"A fireman." Hifumi replied.
Kokichi turned to Sakura, "And Sakura, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?"
"Some guy in an ambulance." She replied.
"Right. So, if we can all just pretend that Kaede was a fireman, or some guy in an ambulance, then I'm sure that we can all pull together and discover what it truly means to be in a marching band." Kokichi exclaimed.
"Yeah, for the fireman!" Maki cheered.
Everyone threw their hands up and cheered as Kokichi spoke again.
"Now let's make Kaede proud. A 1, a 2, a skiddly diddly doo!"
It was the next morning the day of the Dangan Bowl. Kaede was nervous as she stood there. "I knew this was gonna happen. They're just gonna have to find another band to play. I just hope that... " Hiyoko was standing next to Kaede, " ...Hiyoko doesn't find out! Hiyoko!" Kaede shrieked when she spotted Hiyoko next to her, "What are you doing here?!"
Hiyoko giggled, " I just wanna watch you blow it. So, where's your band?"
"Uh, they couldn't come. They... died." Kaede lied.
"Then who's that?" Hiyoko asked pointing to Kokichi and the rest of the band.
Kaede screamed, "That would be my band!"
Kokichi smiled, "We're ready to perform, Kaede."
"Well, Akamatsu," Hiyoko started to say, "This is exactly how I pictured your band would look." Kokichi was doing a little dance.
"That's his...eager face." Kaede replied.
Hiyoko laughed as they all went inside the Dangan Bowl.
Everybody marches inside the bowl as Kaede muttered, " I guess this will be the last time I can show my face on this island."
"Thats the spirit, Kaede!" Kokichi cheered.
The bowl raised above the football field as a big voice boomed above them, "Okay, football fans. Put your hands together for the Hope's Peak Super Band!" A crowd of real life people was shown cheering.
"These are some ugly looking people." Gonta commented.
"Maybe we're in one of those toxic waste dumps." Kokichi added.
"I think I'm gonna be sick." Akane muttered.
Kaede nervously lifted her baton, "Alright, everybody" She glanced at Hiyoko who grinned and bounced her pigtails, " Let's get this over with. 1, 2, 3, 4..." She shut her eyes.
The band starts to play a wonderful intro. Kaede opens his eyes, shocked. Kokichi begins singing withvoice of David Glen Eisley. "♪The winner takes all, it's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will. Don't ever look back on the world closin' in. Be on the attack with your wings on the wind. Oh, the games will begin.♪"
Hiyoko stares in shock and Kaede gives her a smug grin and throws her baton over her shoulder and uses her arms for conducting.
♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight,♪"
Hiyoko faints and gets carried away by stretchers. Kaede waves a smug goodbye to her and runs to the middle of the stage.
♪And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah. And the one who's last to fall. We will have sweet, sweet victory...♪
Kaede jumps up freezing in mid air with a triumph and joyful look.