Archive of Our Own

“We may as well make the best of this,” Wonwoo murmurs from his side of the car. “Even if it wasn’t what we planned. Is that okay with you?”

Jisoo keeps his gaze on the scenery passing by, his hand feeling heavy with the weight of the new gold ring on it, but he nods and tries to think on the bright side of things for once, no matter what his pessimistic thoughts are yelling at him.

“Sure.”

Wonwoo leans back in his seat and Jisoo takes this an opportunity to study his newly declared husband. His jaw is sharp, the shape of his face even sharper. His features are distinct and with his hair gelled back, he is downright gorgeous, but Jisoo doesn't want to like his husband for his looks.

He isn't very sure that he wants to like his husband at all really. However, it is not like he can do much about that considering they have already gotten married anyway.

Wonwoo's suit fits him nicely, the material looking like that of the expensive kind - not like Jisoo would know really. His own suit costs more than his college tuition back in the states did, but his father-in-law had paid for and insisted on it so he bit on his tongue and wore it. Both of their suits are white and trimmed with gold, something that makes Jisoo worry he will embarrass his new husband at the reception by spilling food all over himself.

He shifts in his seat, freezing when Wonwoo places his hand over Jisoo's on top of the seat between them. Jisoo turns slowly to meet his gaze, unsure of what he is expecting to find.

A smile more blinding than the sunlight reflected off his new ring greets him and Jisoo bites his lip, finding that his heart is racing along with his blood, but his emotions are calming down. The nervous edge to everything is bleeding away and Jisoo exhales shakily, trying for a smile in return when Wonwoo leans over and cups Jisoo's face with his other hand.

"Breathe, alright? We're about to arrive and I don't want the press or anyone present to think we aren't a united front," Wonwoo murmurs, his thumb rubbing circles into Jisoo's cheek. "We'll greet our guests, have dinner, dance a little, and then cut the cake. After that, we can leave."

Jisoo sighs and lets Wonwoo hold his face for a moment longer before he leans away. "Okay. Are my things already at your place then?"

Wonwoo nods, lingering in his position as he replies. "Yes. Movers had it all done by the time we said 'I do.' Your stuff is all set up exactly where we discussed last week."

"Thanks," Jisoo murmurs, looking out the window now to avoid meeting Wonwoo's sincere gaze. "I know I wouldn't have been your first pick if this had been different, but thank you for being kind about everything."

His husband doesn't say anything, but Jisoo feels like the silence that descends upon them is an answer enough though.

The limousine stops soon after that and Jisoo waits until Wonwoo has stepped out before he follows after him. Cameras flash as soon as he steps out beside his husband and he does not hesitate to plaster the smile he wore for the wedding onto his face. Wonwoo holds his elbow out for him to take and Jisoo accepts it graciously, pretending that he is madly in love much too easily for his tastes.

Wonwoo leads them inside the venue, a lavish outdoor garden with tables already filled with most of Wonwoo's business partners and an empty dance floor to the side. Waiters walk through the tables, offering glasses of champagne. Jisoo almost stumbles into his husband when they pause underneath the garland that marks the entrance.

"Ready?" Wonwoo asks him underneath his breath, a smile as fake as Jisoo's on his face in case anyone has noticed them already.

Jisoo makes sure that his smile is in place while he nods, tightening his grip on Wonwoo's arm as his husband studies him for a second longer then steps forward.

Immediately, Jisoo is immersed in meeting new people and answering any invasive questions that Wonwoo had warned him about beforehand during their multiple meetings used to prepare for the wedding. The only person Jisoo wants to actually say hello to is his mother who is sitting at the table Jisoo is meant to occupy with his new husband once dinner is served. She is watching him from where she sits, a polite smile spread across her lips. Whenever their eyes meet though, Jisoo can tell that she was crying at some point.

Wonwoo is a constant warmth at his side the entire time they greet their guests and although Jisoo knows that all of this is fake, he is glad at least that Wonwoo isn't going to let him go through this alone.

Soon enough, Wonwoo is artfully trudging along towards their designated table and Jisoo kisses his mother on the cheek in greeting before he sits down beside his husband. Wonwoo takes his hand underneath the table and Jisoo only counts it as part of their act to fool everyone they got married because they are madly in love, even though the only ones who would know about this instance of handholding are him and his new husband. Dinner is served shortly after that, distracting Jisoo enough while he tries to keep his suit as clean as possible.

His mother is laughing at him, he knows that she is, but whenever he looks up to try and catch her in the act, her expression is blank, her gaze focused intently on her own food. Jisoo keeps doing it anyway, hoping he'll meet her eye again. Wonwoo is silent as he eats on his other side, his hand having left Jisoo's a while ago.

(Jisoo will deny it with all his might, but his heart felt like it had dropped into his stomach at the loss of Wonwoo's warm hand wrapped around his own.)

Once the food has been eaten and the plates have been whisked away, short speeches are made from people that Jisoo does not know. He still smiles politely when their guests applaud after someone has finished giving their speech. Music begins to play after that and Jisoo dances awkwardly with Wonwoo for their first dance, his arms wrapped around his husband's shoulders as Wonwoo grips his waist tightly. They sway until others begin joining them on the dance floor and Wonwoo holds him closer as they get crowded.

Most of the wedding has been a blur for Jisoo so when they finally get ready to cut their cake, he is relieved that the day is almost over now. Wonwoo's hand overlaps his again as they hold the knife and Jisoo makes sure that he is smiling for the cameras when they cut the first slice. Wonwoo loads it onto a plate and hands the knife off to one of the workers so that slices can be cut for their guests as they share the first slice between them. Jisoo thinks the cake is much too gaudy for its particularly bland taste, but no one else seems to share this sentiment so he politely accepts the forkfuls of cake Wonwoo holds up for him to eat and swallows down the boring cake.

They link their arms together as they hold champagne glasses and Jisoo's smile does not falter as they drink, making sure to drown the glass and grin at his husband once they are done.

When Wonwoo leans forward and presses his soft lips to Jisoo's, he leans forward to meet him halfway, ignoring the way his heart hammers in his chest when he does.

As they pull apart, Jisoo catches sight of his mother again and feels his heartbeat steady and then pang with pain as he realizes that she is crying again.

Wonwoo's home looks the same as the first time Jisoo saw it.

A two-story with brown shingles on the roof and white walls. Jisoo doesn't know how Wonwoo even managed to find a place like this so close to the city, but it has character and Jisoo likes that. It is his new home after all.

His husband insists on carrying him inside, bridal style, and Jisoo is pretty tipsy after all the champagne they chugged down after cutting the cake so he lets him. They struggle past the threshold, both of them giggling like teenagers who snuck out to get drunk at a party. Wonwoo sets him down as soon as he's kicked the front door shut and Jisoo drapes himself over his back, kicking his shoes off when Wonwoo reminds him to. He might be more than just tipsy right now so he leans heavily on Wonwoo as they walk past the living room.

Wonwoo keeps a firm grip on Jisoo as they climb the steps, not letting go even after they have reached the second landing. He leads them down the hallway and into their room, most of Jisoo's stuff already unpacked. A few of his things have found a home beside Wonwoo's stuff, but Jisoo makes a note to look through it all once he gets a free chance to do so just to see what else he needs to find a place for. Wonwoo helps him to the bed and laughs as Jisoo lands on it with a bounce. He is spread eagle with his fancy new suit bunched up and crinkled in places a sober Jisoo would be embarrassed about.

But this is drunk Jisoo and drunk Jisoo is shameless and impulsive, doing and saying anything that comes to mind.

Wonwoo disappears into the bathroom, leaving Jisoo to stare up at the ceiling as he waits for him husband to return. The sink turns on in the bathroom, the sound of the water falling into the basin capturing Jisoo's immediate attention. Jisoo sits up before he can really think on it and starts taking his suit off, struggling with all the buttons and the zipper at one point until he only has his tank top and briefs on. Those quickly join his suit on the floor and he leans back on the mattress as the sink turns off, relishing the feeling of the cool fabric beneath him.

The bathroom door opens and Wonwoo steps back into their room in only a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, freezing once he catches sight of Jisoo's naked body. Jisoo turns on his side and smiles at his husband, motioning for him to come and join. Wonwoo hesitates, bottom lip caught between his teeth. They are complete strangers who got married as a publicity stunt and they are both a little drunk - Jisoo is certain he is drunker than Wonwoo though - so their rational decision-making skills have long since left them tonight.

Jisoo grins and scoots forward when Wonwoo steps towards him, teeth still worrying his lip. Sober Jisoo would never sleep with someone he barely knows, but drunk Jisoo only sees his very attractive husband and wants him in bed effective immediately.

Once Wonwoo is close enough, Jisoo wraps his arms around his neck and pulls Wonwoo down into the bed, laughing when his husband falls on top of him. He turns them around so he can straddle Wonwoo's waist and quickly sheds him of his clothes as they kiss. Jisoo takes Wonwoo's bottom lip between his own teeth and tugs until the younger keens loudly in the back of his throat.

He lets his hands wander and laughs again as Wonwoo reaches over to grab the lube and a condom from the bedside drawers, leaving them by his head when Jisoo only kisses him harder in response.

They are both going to regret this in the morning, but Jisoo pushes everything else to the back of his head as he pushes Wonwoo's thighs apart then squirts lubricant onto his hand, paying close attention to his husband's body language as the night continues.

When he wakes, Jisoo finds that he is sore but warm.

As he turns over in bed, it becomes quickly apparent why that is.

Wonwoo is clinging to him in his sleep, head pillowed on Jisoo's shoulder. The bedsheets are strung low on their hips, enough to tell Jisoo that they are both naked. His head pounds with pain, eyesight still adjusting to the gloom of the bedroom. Nothing looks familiar, but that is only because he didn't get the chance to study the room in detail when they arrived from the wedding reception. He can recall most of what happened last night, but he is too horrified by what he decided to do while drunk that he can barely force himself to remember the rest.

The blinds on the window are closed, but there is enough light coming through the cracks for Jisoo to be able to see his husband's sleeping face beside him. Wonwoo looks peaceful when he is sleeping, mouth parted as he breathes through his nose. His expression is calm, his features relaxed and that makes Jisoo feel even warmer for reasons he can't quite explain.

He tentatively holds his hand up and brushes his knuckles across Wonwoo's cheek, examining him closely to see if he is awake yet. Wonwoo does not react to his tough though so Jisoo sighs and lets his palm cup his husband's face.

Jisoo looks for a clock and almost groans aloud when he sees that it is five in the morning. He definitely should not be awake so he pulls himself closer to his husband and presses a kiss to his nose before he lets his hand fall and throws his arm over Wonwoo's waist instead.

Sleep comes easily for Jisoo with Wonwoo's steady breathing and warmth curled close against his side.

Jisoo wakes up again almost two hours later, the blinds on the window open and letting sunlight directly into the bedroom.

The sheets are tucked in up to his chest, the other side of the bed now cold and empty. Jisoo pushes himself up onto his elbows and studies the room, notching his head to the side in the hopes of hearing anything helpful.

Silence greets him as he sits up completely and rubs at his eyes, deciding to kick the bedsheets off and get out of bed as naked as the day he was born. Sunlight slants across the mattress and parts of the wall but for the most part, the bedroom is dark. He looks over his shoulder and checks the clock, finding that it is half past seven in the morning now.

With that, Jisoo decides to shower and smiles when he finds his favorite shampoo and body wash in the bathroom, his toothbrush in a cup on the sink. The warm water helps him become more aware as he focuses on washing himself. When he finds that his stomach has a layer of dried come on it, he scrubs until the soft flesh of his stomach is rubbed raw and a bright red, stinging just the teeniest bit. After that, Jisoo does his best to not look too closely at his body as he finishes washing up.

He brushes his teeth once he's out of the shower and blow-dries his hair, confident in the fact that he is the only one home right now.

Home. He just referred to this new place he shares with a complete stranger as his home.

Jisoo glances down at his hand and finds his wedding ring glinting back at him, the golden band strangely looking like it belongs where it is. He had been so consumed by the whirlwind of this fake engagement and fake wedding - a fake relationship in general - that he had never given himself to think about what he would do after he had married Wonwoo. He has gone a married a man he does not know in a country that he is only tied back to through his parents. Of course, he knows how to speak the language and he understands most of the customs, but South Korea had never been his. It was his parents' - his grandparents' - home. It is Wonwoo's and now his home too.

He sighs and cleans up in the bathroom, making sure to leave his toothbrush and the blow dryer where he found them before he walks back into the bedroom.

The bed is unmade and the sheets are dirty, sticky with the memories of last night so Jisoo averts his gaze and wanders through the other door in the room. A walk-in closet greets him, large and just about the size of his childhood bedroom back at his mother's home in LA. He wanders in and lets his fingers graze the clothes hanging to his left, quickly honing in on a familiar yellow cable-knit sweater his grandmother made for him a few years ago hanging in the back right corner of the closet.

It is clean and soft, just like he remembers, so he takes it off the hanger and starts perusing through the other things found on the right side of the closet. More of his clothes welcome him as he looks for underwear and pants, finding the former in a tiny drawer beneath his jackets and the latter right bedside those. His side of the closet is not as full as Wonwoo's side, but if he knows anything, it is that Wonwoo will make quick work of trying to fix that - as if it's a problem how little clothes Jisoo has.

Jisoo sighs and changes into the familiar set of clothes, feeling more like himself now as he walks out of the closet and heads downstairs to the kitchen. His head is not pounding like it was before, but he is hungry and food always helps him after a night of drinking. His bare feet pad across the wooden floorboards and down the stairs, more wood greeting him as he reaches the bottom of the steps.

There is more light down here than in the bedroom and Jisoo looks out towards the living room, eyes almost falling out of their sockets when he notices the large flatscreen tv taking up most of the space above the fireplace. The fireplace is cold and empty at the moment, no logs or even any ash to keep the hearth company, but Jisoo figures that will soon change if he is going to be spending most of his time here until he finds a new job.

Aside from the tv and fireplace though, there is also a beautiful coffee table and tan couches that fill the living room. The back wall is mostly glass with the shimmery curtains and blinds drawn open to let the natural light into the room. It looks comfortable... and expensive. This is Jisoo's life now though so he shakes his head and heads into the kitchen, intent on getting some food into him.

The kitchen looks expensive too, with it's sleek and modern theme. The island is not very large, but it intimidates Jisoo anyway since he cannot remember ever having an island in the kitchen as a child. He approaches the refrigerator and only notices the note stuck to it when his hand has gripped onto the handle.

Had to go in for work early. I left you some food in the oven if you're hungry, by the way. If you need to contact me, here's my number xxx-xxx-xxxx
-Wonwoo

Jisoo opens the fridge like he first intended to and takes a carton of orange juice out, leaving it on the island as he checks the oven. Just like the note said, there is a covered plate of food waiting for him. He takes it out and removes the plastic cover over the plate, putting that in the sink as he examines the food Wonwoo left for him.

Eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Simple and yet, Jisoo wonders how early Wonwoo must have gotten up to make all of this, clean the pots and pans, eat, and then get ready and leave for work. It must have been shortly after he himself went back to sleep earlier.

Wonwoo really must have meant it when he said they should make the best of this, didn't he? Jisoo had agreed, but he thought Wonwoo meant the reception, not their actual marriage.

He sighs and scouts out the microwave, putting his plate in for thirty seconds before taking it back out before it can hit zero just so he can avoid the annoying beeping. He leaves his plate on the island and picks up the orange juice, going back to the fridge to grab milk instead. After that, he goes through the drawers to find the cups and the cutlery, deciding he'll just eat here in the kitchen before he does anything else.

Jisoo is unsure of where his phone is at the moment so he takes the sticky note from the fridge door and folds it before slipping it into his pocket as he eats. He had not realized until he first read the note that he married someone without even having their number first.

The food is good, not excellent, but good enough to appease Jisoo's appetite. When he is done, he washes his dirty dishes and dries them with a dish towel before leaving them in the drying rack beside the sink. Jisoo makes his way back up the stairs then and stops when he reaches the door, studying the bed.

He knows what they did last night and he would be hardpressed to claim that he does not remember the way Wonwoo moaned his name and wrapped his legs around him as Jisoo canted his hips even harder into him. That he does not remember the way Wonwoo captured his mouth in a searing kiss and burrowed his hands into his hair before pulling on the dark brown strands. The way Jisoo gripped Wonwoo's hips hard enough to leave bruises and how he pulled out of his husband just before he came to shoot his load on their stomachs instead.

Jisoo cannot deny that nothing happened last night, but the note Wonwoo left him tells him nothing of whether he remembered it or not. He must have noticed the way they were wrapped up in one another when he woke up though, and if not, then their nakedness would have been proof enough - the bruises on his hips too.

Both of them have to know they had sex on their wedding night, but Jisoo wants to ignore the reasons behind it for as long as he is able to.

And with his decision made, Jisoo strips the bed of its sheets and pillows, intent on washing them and fitting the mattress with new bedsheets before Wonwoo gets back home tonight.

Jisoo spends most of the day unpacking whatever the movers left for him in boxes and exploring his new home. He finds a garage, a guest room, an unused office, and another bathroom on the first floor. The door leading to the backyard is found beside the garage door and there he is greeted with a built-in pool, a low patio deck equipped with all the things a patio deck needs along with a grill. The backyard is not huge, but it is big and that is enough to satisfy Jisoo's curiosity about the lower floor.

He heads back upstairs after putting the bedsheets in the dryer and discovers another office on the second landing, this one more broken in than the one downstairs. He quickly shuts the door on that room and moves on, finding a linens closet that he pilfers to make the bed back in their bedroom before continuing in his search.

Behind the door placed across from their bedroom in the hallway, Jisoo finds a library filled with rows and rows of books. There are more books here than Jisoo has ever owned and his heart leaps into his throat when he finds two boxes that are labeled with his scrawling mess of a handwriting as his books. They are placed beside a bookshelf that only has the top two shelves filled and Jisoo quickly sets to work putting his books away. He is unsure of what system Wonwoo was using to order his books by, but for now, he settles on emptying the two boxes and then heads back downstairs to check the dryer and get a bite to eat.

The dryer is done so he folds the sheets and places them in a basket, leaving that on top of the washer for now. In the kitchen, he goes through the rest of the cabinets before hitting the jackpot as he discovers the pantry filled with various snacks and canned fruits and vegetables. Jisoo is not great at cooking, but if Wonwoo is kind enough to get up early just to make him breakfast, he can return the sentiment by making dinner.

He puts together a few sandwiches for him to eat as he decides what to make for dinner. The sandwiches are far more detailed than what he is used to, but the meat and cheese are fresh and there is even sourdough bread cut into slices. All of it is ripe for the taking and Jisoo takes it gladly, wondering if his new husband has eaten lunch yet. It is almost two in the afternoon and Jisoo should have actually had his lunch earlier, but he had not thought to check the time until he was done in the library.

When he finds the rice, Jisoo decides to cook that along with some fried chicken that his mother taught him how to make when he was in middle school. He gets all his ingredients out and takes out the chicken to defrost in the sink, slinking back upstairs with half of a sandwich still in his hands.

His phone sits beside the clock in their room, plugged in and completely charged. Jisoo unlocks it and takes the note in his pocket out to save Wonwoo's number in his contacts.

After a moment of consideration, Jisoo decides to shoot Wonwoo a text.

hey, it's jisoo. just wanted to let you know that i'm making dinner tonight

Jisoo unplugs his phone and slides it into his back pocket, deciding to venture into the library again as he waits for the chicken to defrost. He quickly peruses the books, finding that Wonwoo actually does not have any system for his books and most of them are just shoved at random into the shelves. It makes him want to reorganize everything, but he guesses he can do that on another day when he has more time and has cataloged all of Wonwoo's books first.

Most of the titles are in Korean and a scattered amount in what he guesses is Japanese, but there are a select few in English as well. He takes out Please Look After Mom and opens it up, remembering how often his mother had carried this book around a few years ago. There is a couch underneath one of the windows and Jisoo pulls the curtains back so he can read by sunlight as he sits down.

After that, he is too entranced with the book to really think of much else.

Sometime around four, Jisoo's phone vibrates in his pocket.

He takes it out and reads the text Wonwoo sent him, smiling despite himself.

Husband: great. i'll be home around six

Jisoo does not bother to reply back and puts his phone back into his pocket, bookmarking his place in the book before he takes it with him as he leaves the library. He puts it where he found his phone back in the bedroom and then walks down to the kitchen as he scrolls through his music library.

With his music picked out, Jisoo gets busy with preparing the chicken, losing himself in the simplicity of cutting and cleaning, then finally cooking.

As the garage door is opening sometime later, Jisoo checks the time and realizes that Wonwoo is back.

He focuses back on the chicken in the frying pan and spares the rice cooker a quick glance, making sure that the "Keep Warm" setting is still on.

The garage door closes soon after that and Jisoo hears Wonwoo's car chirp as it locks, the garage door being opened soon after that. Jisoo puts the first piece of chicken onto the pan and wipes his hands clean so he can turn his music off, leaving him to listen to the pop of oil while his husband walks into the living room.

Wonwoo makes his way towards the island as he is loosening his tie, a briefcase held loosely in his other hand. Jisoo smiles politely to him in greeting, unsure of how they are supposed to act now that they are married and have had sex, but know close to nothing about one another.

"You're making chicken?" Wonwoo asks, a smile as polite as Jisoo's spread across his lips.

Jisoo nods, looking back towards the chicken to check on its progress. "Yep. The rice is ready, but these are about the only two things I can make well enough."

Wonwoo chuckles behind him, the sound so pleasing to Jisoo's ears that he finds it hard for him to even entertain the idea of asking his husband if he remembers what happened the night before. "I'll go wash up, then set the table. That okay?"

Jisoo shrugs, sparing a look over his shoulder as Wonwoo takes one step back. "This is your home after all. Do as you may."

"Sure, but," Wonwoo says with his brows furrowed together as Jisoo meets his gaze again, "what is mine is yours. Remember that."

The oil pops in the frying pan before him and Jisoo forces him to focus on the chicken once more instead of the fact they are both to ignore the elephant in the room.

After the first week, Jisoo finds a job in a library closer to the center of the city.

He is first just an assistant, but once his letters of recommendation come through from the uni library he worked in after graduating, he is quickly given the librarian position he first applied for. Work is nice but slow. He gets to practice his Korean even more and when foreigners come in looking for a book, they are delighted to learn that he can speak English fluently. He leaves for work with Wonwoo in the mornings and takes a taxi back home, using the credit card Wonwoo shoved into his hand a few days after the wedding.

When people ask him about the wedding ring on his finger, Jisoo answers cordially and politely, always making sure to not give too much away.

But after he begins working again, Jisoo finds that he is quickly falling into a familiar routine.

He rises with Wonwoo, even sharing the occasional shower when they do not have much time to spare - which is awkward, but Jisoo has already seen him naked and knows how his name sounds like when Wonwoo moans it aloud so this is nothing. They get ready together after they finish showering and share the sink. Jisoo shaves every morning and laughs at Wonwoo on the mornings when his husband does not. Wonwoo almost always flicks water at him and Jisoo swats his hand away, his heart beating like an erratic tattoo in his chest at how casual they behave around each other now.

They leave after eating breakfast and Wonwoo lets Jisoo drive them to the library. In the parking lot, Jisoo will give Wonwoo a peck on the cheek for anyone who may be watching them after they have climbed out of the car. Wonwoo always waits until Jisoo has stepped inside the library before he leaves and Jisoo loses himself work. At lunchtime, Wonwoo will call him and they will talk as they eat lunch together before getting back to work.

As soon as Jisoo gets home though, he cleans and finishes unpacking all of his things only two weeks after the wedding. After that, he focuses on trying to cook something for him and Wonwoo to share their dinner together, but he is horrible at cooking. Wonwoo comes home to him often with a laugh lying in wait in his throat and a kiss to Jisoo's temple before he takes over. Jisoo steps back and leans on the island as Wonwoo either finishes cooking or orders them takeout instead, it generally depends on his mood for the night.

Either way, Jisoo usually ends up being lifted onto the island and shares tentative kisses with his husband after a decision has been made.

Wonwoo is quiet and calm, peaceful more than not and Jisoo finds it comforting. He is always gentle with him, always asking if they can try something more intimate before he even thinks of carrying it out. Jisoo is a long way from his mother's home in LA and he misses her with each growing day, but then Wonwoo is there and he is never sure if they are pretending to comfort the other or if they are genuine in their feelings anymore. Wonwoo always claims that they need to practice being comfortable with each other for their public outings, but Jisoo is unsure if he believes that excuse.

They do go on a few public outings that are generally black tie attire. Most are for Wonwoo's business and others are galas or events his friends planned. Jisoo has met most of them, knowing nothing more than their names and how long they have known Wonwoo. However, he also knows that none of Wonwoo's friends are fooled by their sham of a marriage and that they will say nothing to expose them to the public because they trust Wonwoo enough to know what he is doing.

Gold glints on both of their hands, proclaiming them bound by law and marriage, but there isn't anything linking their hearts together like Jisoo sometimes wishes there was.

At least, not yet anyway.

With time, Jisoo is sure they could forge a love between them and turn this into the real thing, but he doesn't want to commit to it until he knows for sure that it is what Wonwoo wants as well.

For now, they touch in public and share kisses in private that are more about pressing a pair of lips to another than something born of true desire.

Jisoo had been all for keeping his emotions and feelings in check until he and Wonwoo sat down to discuss the important things they keep avoiding, but it all comes crashing down a few months into their new life together.

It has been building, something new and monumental, something that Jisoo never really had a say in. With the gentle way Wonwoo handles and treats him, Jisoo knew it was unavoidable. Someone could hold the door open for him and he would still be thinking about it a week later. His husband kissing and touching him so casually, listening to him, and showing Jisoo he cares would definitely make Jisoo fall in love, the suppression of his feelings be damned.

They are in the library across from their bedroom. Wonwoo is reading on the couch, the sunlight hitting his face just so. Jisoo had been busy with cataloging Wonwoo's books all afternoon, more than halfway through the many bookshelves now. It has taken him months to get through this many books with only two days of the week to do it, but he is happy with his progress thus far.

He looks up to ask Wonwoo something and finds the question stuck in his throat, suddenly unwilling to break the silence that had accompanied them for the past few hours.

Because Wonwoo looks like himself the most at this moment, nose buried in a book with a blank expression on his face. Jisoo has forgotten what book Wonwoo is reading, but if it is enough to capture his husband's wholehearted attention, then it must be captivating.

He looks right at home and gorgeous too. Jisoo's heartbeat pounds in his eardrums and he exhales shakily, feeling that doomed emotion of falling in love take over his senses.

Adrenaline is still pumping through when he shoots up in bed with a cry caught in his throat, shaking and sweaty all over. His heart is pounding with fright and when his eyes adjust enough to the darkness, they water up as he realizes he is not in his mother's home.

His breath is hitching in his chest, lungs contracting as sobs begin to build in his throat. It is hard to breathe and he knows he is not being quiet, that Wonwoo will wake soon enough, but he can't stop it. It feels like someone is sitting on his chest and he is scared.

Jisoo wants to be a little kid again so his mother can walk into his room and cradle him to her chest as she runs her hands through his hair. But he is old and grown and he is married, crying desperately in bed with his quickly awakening husband beside him.

Wonwoo is sitting up beside him suddenly. His hair is a mess and his eyes are crusted with sleep, but his arms are around Jisoo in an instant. He doesn't speak, just twists and shifts until he's able to maneuver Jisoo into his lap and hold him to his chest. Jisoo buries his face into Wonwoo's sternum and tries to steady his breaths, tries to stamp his feelings down.

There are two hands on him, one trailing up and down his back and the other cupping his cheek, but they are warm and they are soft. Jisoo catches the hand on his face and pulls it down towards his mouth, pressing his lips to Wonwoo's wedding ring.

His chest is beginning to hurt, but his eyes are clearer now that Wonwoo is holding him and Jisoo keeps his lips on the gold ring, using it as his anchor through the night.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jisoo stirs his spoon around his bowl of cereal, chin propped up in his palm. Wonwoo is beside him, cutting bananas for his granola. It is Saturday morning and Jisoo's eyes are still puffy, but he has nothing planned for the day except to hopefully finish his catalog of Wonwoo's library.

He does not want to talk about anything really, but Wonwoo held him through his fit and did not let go even as they both went back to sleep. When Jisoo woke up, it was to Wonwoo's sleeping face a few inches away from his own. His husband had dark circles under his eyes and his hair was still a wreck, but Jisoo's heart had jumped into his throat at the very sight of him just as it had been doing ever since he realized he was in love with Wonwoo.

Despite him not wanting to say anything, Jisoo leans even further into his palm and pouts to himself. "I miss my mom."

"Have you talked to her recently?" Wonwoo asks, keeping his tone conversational.

Jisoo shakes his head, sighing under his breath. "Last we spoke, I asked her how to get a stain out of my sweater. That was, like, a month ago or something."

"Why don't you FaceTime her then? She has to be missing you as much as you miss her."

"I'm an idiot," Jisoo whispers to himself, quickly sliding his phone out of his pocket intent on calling his mother.

Until he catches sight of the time and groans, remembering that time zones are conspiring against him to keep him from those he loves most. With it being eight in the morning here for him, it is past midnight for her.

"Call her later, yeah? Let's go out today, do something fun," Wonwoo suggests, hand already on the small of Jisoo's back.

Jisoo shrugs and focuses on his cereal again, trying in vain to ignore his relentless heartbeat and the memory of Wonwoo's thighs being spread wide apart to let him in on their wedding night. The same memory that washes over him every time they touch. If Wonwoo notices anything, he doesn't mention it and Jisoo leans into his side, letting Wonwoo comfort him.

"Alright, but only if we get to go to the park first."

"Deal."

With his heart racing a mile a minute, Jisoo takes Wonwoo's proferred hand and shakes on it, tilting his head up for the peck he knows Wonwoo wants to give him.

The date is wonderful.

Wonwoo holds his hand the entire time and always squeezes it whenever Jisoo gets nervous. A few of the paparazzi follow them around in the park but considering that Wonwoo's company is very popular and constantly in the public eye, Jisoo is used to this already.

They have been married for seven months now and Jisoo does not know if they will walk away from each other in five months time, but he intends to try and stay by Wonwoo's side until then.

The park is lovely and they feed peeled grapes to some ducks before Wonwoo leads them back to the car and drives deeper into the city. Jisoo watches as they go past the library, thinking of the work he will return to on Monday, but then Wonwoo turns the volume up on the radio and Jisoo realizes it is one of his favorite songs.

He sings along as they continue to drive, Wonwoo smiling behind the driver's wheel. It is peaceful right here and Jisoo smiles as they park in front of his favorite sandwich shop. Wonwoo steps out of the car first and comes around to open the door for Jisoo, smiling when Jisoo takes his hand immediately.

Jisoo leads the way inside and they order their food quickly, finding two seats at the counter before the window. Wonwoo turns his body so they are facing each other on their stools and Jisoo kisses his hand when their orders are called, getting up shortly after to retrieve their food.

They eat in relative silence, only exchanging smiles whenever they happen to catch each other's eye. Once they are done, Jisoo drives them home and laughs as Wonwoo attempts to carry him inside through the garage door after they have arrived. They somehow make it work and Jisoo giggles while Wonwoo struggles to carry him to the kitchen, setting him down on top of the island.

"Wanna try FaceTiming your mom now?" Wonwoo asks with his hands still on Jisoo's waist.

Jisoo shifts so he can take his phone out of his pocket and smiles at the time. "Yeah, she should be eating breakfast right now."

Wonwoo grins, patting Jisoo's knee as he takes a step back. "I'll leave you to it."

He turns and walks upstairs, leaving Jisoo to kick his shoes off and pull his legs up until his knees are pressed close to his chest. Jisoo unlocks his phone and pulls his mother's contact up, clicking on the camcorder button next to the FaceTime option. It rings for a few moments before his mother accepts the call and her face fills up his screen.

"Shua," she greets him with his nickname, her smile just the same as he remembers. "Baby. How are you?"

"Mom," Jisoo chokes out, his eyes brimming with tears from just the very sight of her and his ears relish in the sound of her English. "I'm okay. I miss you."

Her smile grows and he feels bad about not calling more often, but he has missed her too much to care. "I miss you too, Shua. How has your husband been treating you?"

Jisoo wipes at his eyes as he laughs. "I wanted to hate him at first, but he's too kind for me to do that. I think I love him, Mom. Is that bad?"

"No, baby," she shakes her head, using a napkin to dab at her own eyes, "he's your husband after all. It's not wrong of you to love him. Does he love you back?"

"I think so," Jisoo murmurs, his tears now dry. "I want to talk to him about it, but I don't really know how to."

His mother hums, still smiling at him. "Have you two been intimate yet?"

"MOM!" Jisoo sputters, feeling his face flush with the implications of his mother's question.

She laughs, the sound reminding Jisoo of hot chocolate and her warm hugs on those rare days snow would fall upon Los Angeles when he was a kid. He misses her so much it makes his heart ache with sadness.

"You're married to him and you are both adults, sweetie. It's natural," his mother offers, her smile more teasing than anything now.

Jisoo laughs despite himself and holds the phone a little closer, wanting to be as close to his mother as he can get. "The first night. We were both drunk, but we haven't done anything more than kiss since then."

"Do you want to be intimate with him again?"

"Maybe," Jisoo bites his lip, smiling when his mother sucks her teeth at him. "Okay, yes. I do."

Her smile softens as they keep talking, Jisoo telling her of how his feelings for Wonwoo developed. She listens attentively, piping up here and again to ask him to elaborate on something, but otherwise, he does most of the talking. When he mentions the moment he knew he loved Wonwoo, his mother giggles, interrupting him.

"Of course you fell in love while he was reading. Books have always been important to you," she chuckles, her cheeks flushed a dainty pink that he wishes he could touch through the screen. "But, you should know, he has always had a soft spot for you. Even as early as the wedding."

"How do you know that?" Jisoo asks, his interest piqued.

"Well," she begins, using her free hand to cup her cheek with, "when your father made the agreement with Mr. Jeon, his wife was only a month or two along in her pregnancy. You were newly born, I hadn't even gotten the chance to take you home yet, but your hand was already promised to someone else. Of course, your father and I fought over it, but it was business he said."

Her expression darkens with sadness for a moment, but Jisoo stays perfectly still because this is the most his mother has talked about his father since his death. "After your father died, the company was meant to be passed to me, but I gave it to Mr. Jeon instead since I wanted nothing to do with it. He paid me a considerable amount of money for it and I used that to keep us in LA. I paid off the mortgage on this house with that money and saved the rest for your college tuition. It wasn't enough to cover everything, but it paid for your supplies and books at least."

"Mr. Jeon called me a month before the wedding to remind me of the contract between him and your father. I told him it was ridiculous, that your father was dead and if you married, a natural born heir could not be produced from the arrangement, but he said Wonwoo was not into women. That it would make a great publicity stunt for his son to marry someone who wasn't a part of the higher class anyway. I didn't want anything to do with it, but your father had signed the contract, so it was legally binding and I couldn't afford the payout. I told you and you took it just like I thought you would. You resigned yourself to this fate and I'm sorry I couldn't get you out, but at the wedding, I thought maybe it was for the best?" she finishes, tearing up again. "I could tell that your husband found you attractive and that he wasn't as opposed to the marriage as much as he should have been."

Jisoo wipes at his own face as well, sniffling. "Yeah, maybe it was for the best then. Either way, I knew what I was getting into. Wonwoo's face is constantly splashed across the news here but he is gentle with me. I think we could actually make this work out for the better."

His mother is full on crying now, her sobs hitching in her throat. "I'm sorry I couldn't get you out of this, Shua. You deserved to have the choice, baby. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Mom," he replies without missing a beat, wiping his eyes again. "I didn't have a choice in who I married, but I do have a choice in who I love. You don't have to apologize, I understand the position you were forced into. I just wish I could have you near-by. I miss you all the time."

"I miss you too, Shua," she says with a sniffle, her face bright red from the force of her tears.

Something dings on her end of the call and Jisoo watches as she looks over her shoulder, wiping her eyes quickly. She turns back to him with an apologetic smile, still crying even as she drags her hands across her eyes.

"Sorry, Shua. I have to go. I have to get to my shift for the soup kitchen on time. Can I call you when I get back home, baby?"

Jisoo smiles and nods. "Of course, Mom. Bye! Tell Vernon's mom I say hello."

"Bye, sweetie. I love you," his mother responds.

"I love you too, Mom."

Jisoo ends the FaceTime call after that and sets his phone beside him on the island, wiping a few stray tears away. He can hear Wonwoo walking down the steps and he doesn't know how long he was talking to his mother for, but the light coming through the windows of the living room have changed angles so it must be late afternoon now.

He looks up to meet Wonwoo's curious gaze and feels his heart jump into his throat at the very sight of him.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Wonwoo asks, his Korean reminding Jisoo of just how far away he is from his mother right now.

He smiles though and wipes his eyes again for any other tears he might have missed. "Fine. She's going to call me back later. It was nice talking to her again though."

"But?" Wonwoo prods, brows raised.

Jisoo sighs and lets his legs dangle over the edge of the island. "But, I really wish I could see her again. The last time I saw her was at the wedding."

Wonwoo tilts his head and pulls his phone out of his pocket, swiping quickly through it before he speaks up again. "I have a conference with a company in the U.S in about five months. Do you want to come with me? I need a translator I can trust anyway."

"Five months?" Jisoo asks, his mouth parted wide. "What?"

"The conference is in New York, but I can set aside a few days for us to go to LA and visit your mother... if you want me to go with you, I mean."

"Why wouldn't I want you to go with me? You're my husband."

Wonwoo blushes, putting his phone back into his pocket hesitantly. "Well, in five months time, our one year anniversary will be upon us and the contract our fathers signed said that we could get divorced after a year together if we no longer wished to be married."

Jisoo shakes his head to clear it, mouth snapping closed with a sharp click of teeth he will find painful later. "I know about the one year condition, but I thought... Nevermind."

They stare at another for one painful moment, neither willing to break the silence. Wonwoo steps closer and sighs, shaking his head and rolling his shoulders back as if he is preparing himself to say something very important. Jisoo holds his breath and waits, his heart hammering in his throat as Wonwoo steps forward and takes his hand with both of his.

"Jisoo. I would be more than happy to remain married to you after the first year is over, but I would understand if you want to get divorced anyway. Neither of us had a choice in this and you were forced to relocate your entire life just to marry me. I really did this whole thing backward. Getting married, having sex on the first night, and then falling in love with you. It's unfair to you for me to make this decision for the both of us, but you don't have to stay with me just because you think you have to. I love you too much to keep you chained to me," Wonwoo says carefully, his eyes never leaving Jisoo's.

Jisoo lets his other hand grab hold of Wonwoo's and pulls him closer, spreading his thighs apart and scooting forward until Wonwoo is standing between his legs. Wonwoo tilts his head up to keep their eye contact unbroken but does not move closer than what Jisoo has allowed. He is obviously waiting for Jisoo's answer so Jisoo inhales deeply then exhales, ignoring the jackhammer that is his heart right now as he holds their joined hands up.

"I didn't have a choice in who I got to marry, but I did have one when it came to who I love, Wonwoo, and that was you. I don't want to get divorced just as much as you do, so let's stay together. Not because our dads wanted us to, but because we both love each other," Jisoo murmurs, feeling sweat spring up on his nape. "Let's go to New York for your business conference and I'll be your translator for the entire trip and then we can go see my mom together. We can tell each other our vows in her backyard and stay together because we chose to out of love."

"A second wedding?" Wonwoo asks, smiling wide as his face flushes a pretty, dusky pink.

Jisoo nods, leaning down to kiss Wonwoo's wedding band. "A much smaller and more personal second wedding. If that's okay with you?"

"Of course," Wonwoo agrees, stepping forward to kiss Jisoo's wedding ring. "Anything you want, I'll be more than happy to give you."

"Then you should come here and kiss me like you mean it," Jisoo says, grinning like a fool in love.

Wonwoo grins at him in the same way, falling into Jisoo's chest when he tugs him forward. They both laugh thoughtlessly and without a care in the world because they are young and in love and married.

His husband looks up to meet his gaze and Jisoo swoops down to kiss him hard, just the way he has been wanting to kiss him ever since that day in the library when he first realized he was in love. Wonwoo rises up to kiss him with just as much enthusiasm and Jisoo loses himself in loving his husband.

In loving Wonwoo.