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"Hey sweetheart, what date is it?" Ten asked from the kitchen, he was trying to make dinner and he wanted to know if the yogurt was expired. They didn't eat in a lot, obviously. "It's the 23rd." Johnny answered and immediately a sense of nostalgia hit him. It was 23rd November, it was an important date. It was the day he first went out with his first boyfriend Taeil, a Korean student just like him, only moved to Chicago a few weeks. Johnny remembered loving him from the first sight, on contrary to Ten who initiated everything, Taeil was shy and made Johnny take the control. Their first date was a movie date, the newest Marvel movie was out and Johnny remembered taking his hand during the most random scene ever. He remembered the laughter before kissing him. He remembered everything almost too perfectly. Hands crawled around his chest and he smiled as big as ever. "Whatta doin'?" Ten teased, Johnny turned and kissed the corner of his lips. "I'm thinking of checking on Taeil. It's been so long, no?" Ten went silent, thinking about how they broke up and the news that occasionally came from their mutual friends, Taeil was over his mourning period, long after Johnny but he was finally over it. "Yeah I think that'd be good. Use your words wisely fatass." He booped his nose and went back to his cooking.
I've got the good side of new, found arms to fall right into.
Johnny loved him because of this, because he was easy going and honest, he thought things through and said what he had to say not what he knew Johnny wanted to hear. He made him face his fears and cry in his arms after failures. Johnny had a home and it was Ten's smile. He found his home a few weeks after breaking up with Taeil, they were growing apart, school stressing them and they just didn't want it to work, they loved each other but the energy to continue the loving was so little it was unnoticeable. Taeil didn't want to break up, he thought they could make it work, they had made so many promises, they had so many dreams but Johnny knew it's for the best. It was too much work and if it was going to work, if Taeil was the one, it wouldn't feel so forced.
sometimes things fall apart to make way for better things.
"I love you." the last thing they said to each other, of course they promised to be friends but it never worked. It didn't work for them too. Not with Taeil taking a semester off, his posts getting darker and his feed lonelier than ever and Johnny getting out there, meeting Ten, writing for a magazine and trying all these new things. He was happy and he felt guilty sometimes, he wanted Taeil to be fine too. He wanted Taeil to get the good sides too. and he did, eventually, slowly, but he did. He went back to school, found an internship in a good hospital and wrote the greatest proposal of the century.
So many thoughts I wanted to share but I didn't call 'cause it wouldn't be fail
Johnny went to see him that day, not with Ten because that'd be too much. They didn't say much, Johnny congratulated him, kissed his cheek like he did on their first date and told him to call some time to hang out. Taeil returned an honest smile and sincere promise. Johnny couldn't tell him how Ten made him go bungee jumping and now he wasn't afraid of heights anymore, how he can draw finally because he drew Ten so much, he had so many good memories he wanted to share but it wasn't fair, he wanted to say how proud he was of Taeil, he wanted to tell him sorry for being too happy without him but a handshake was all he settled on.
I know how it looked, it wasn't the plan
He didn't plan falling in love, he actually sweared off relationships but Ten was there, right there and he was just crazy. He was crazy and he wanted Johnny. Their first date was just as crazy as every other night they had together, Ten decided he wanted to go the beach and the beach, they went to. The wind was too much and water way too cold and god help Johnny, the fire didn't work at all. Ten laughed so hard he fell in a hole someone earlier dig and they laughed a little more. Johnny realized, with Ten he had no work. With Ten, he could get into Pentagon and plan a whole prison break without stressing a little. Ten brought out the best things in Johnny, he brought out the rain and the thunder and making out when everything was about to go down. Johnny was sure if the world was about to end, he and Ten had a few spare minutes to kiss.
You taught me the ropes, and you taught me to love
Johnny believed in first loves, not "only loves" he thought you do fall in love once, but with every person you get a chance to and if it doesn't work out, there's no second love, he also felt like you never "unlove" someone, that all these tiny little details you know about them never truly lost their power, just somewhere along the road, you fall again. You fall harder and much deeper and not that you forget your ex love, you just...don't care anymore and that's why despite all his fears and bad bad thoughts, he told Ten he loved him a few weeks after the date, on one of those cozy nights with binge watching How I Met Your Mother and lazy makeout sessions, Ten smiled and entangled their fingers. "I love you too fatass." that was the sweetest sentence he has ever heard. Ten had so many issues, more than Taeil ever had but Johnny was okay with that, Johnny was okay with whatever problem they had. He didn't want to 'win' any arguments, he just wanted them o the same page, knowing exactly how ten felt about things, he wanted to hug him in every single one of their fights, he never felt relieved because they were apart, he never thought of any other scenario.
And some day I hope that you'll understand
These were the things he wrote down when he first broke up with Taeil, every single wrong turns they took and how Johnny never wanted to feel them again. He wanted love, he wanted sweet passionate love, he wanted healing love and honestly, Ten's love. He just wanted Ten and maybe that was all he ever needed.
baby, I apologize that I got the good side of things.
"Hey Tae, whats up? Ten says hi by the way."