Work Text:
You know when Hank got home he wanted to get a nice cold can of beer, or 4, and pass out on the couch. So god tell him why when he opened the door to his house he sees a little girl sitting on his couch. He froze in the doorway, wondering if the girl scout troupe was out to get him for never buying their cookies. How the fuck was he supposed to get shitfaced with a little girl in his house?
The little girl looked up at him, eyes wide and concerned. The two of them sat there, having a staring contest that he completely lost, and he went for a pretty long ass time. Damn kid was good.
Once he blinked he took a step into his house, and closed the door behind him. He cleared his throat and said in his nicest possibly voice (still gravely), "you lost or something?"
The little girl didn't answer him, instead sinking further into his couch.
"...right..." He walked as casually as he could behind the couch (behind, since she was watching tv), and into his kitchen.
"Ok. Whenever weird shit happens in my life there's only ever one reason." Hank took in a deep breath and cupped his mouth
"CONNOR"
Hank felt bad when the little girl flinched, but Connor came down from upstairs, poking his head into the kitchen with his awkward forced smile.
"...yes Luteniet?"
Hank crossed his arms and straightened his back, reminding him of when he used to scold Cole all the time, "Connor, come over here please."
His tone wasn't as kind as his words were.
Connor's forced smile grew more painful to look at as he took two exaggerated steps into the room. He was holding a bunch of...childrens books in his arms?
Hank was so taken back by the sight of the actual hardcover books that he forgot to ask about the little girl, "holy shit Connor where'd you get these? I haven't seen real books since that crazy bird deviant."
Connor's shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. Going from more stiff than usual to stiff, "Yes well Alice told me about how she had these children books at her house before so I bought them as a surprise was about to bring them to her."
Hank nodded, looking through the various books. He loved real books, tablets just weren't the same. "I'm guessing Alice is the little girl on the couch?"
Connor nodded, "that is correct"
The stern, scolding tone came back, causing Connor's shoulders to stiffen again, "and do you wanna explain WHY there's a little girl in my house? Because if this is to stop me drinking it might work but it can't stop me from running over to a bar-"
"Do you remember Kara?" Conner suddenly cut him off, raising a hand.
Hank processed it, the name sounding familiar, "I uh...think so?"
"I met her back on Jericho before it exploded. Since then she's been living in Canada with her boyfriend Luther and daughter Alice."
Hank nodded slowly, "okaaay..."
"She's back in Detroit to visit since things have calmed down. And she would like to go on a date night"
Hank peered around Connor, surprised to see little Alice staring right back at him. "And she left her with you?"
"Yes well we stayed in contact after meeting, mostly because of Markus though. And he's too busy being an android advocate to watch her, and the Jerry's are still in Canada. I hope you don't mind Hank, it's just for the night"
Hank heaved a heavy sigh, "fine fine, I get it wanting a date night or whatever. Fine."
Connor smiled pure and proud, "thank you Luteniet!" He turned his back to Hank, walking into the living room, "Alice! Look what I've got you!"
Hank pressed his back into the doorway, watching with careful eyes as Connor sat on the couch with Alice and presented her the books. The best way to describe her reaction was...bittersweet. You could tell from her smile and how she grabbed the books one by one, saying things like "this one is my favorite!", that she loved the gift. But at the same time in her eyes there was a sadness, and the way her gaze lingered in the covers of the books as though they reminded her of something traumatic. Hank understood that far off look.
Before he could butt in Alice looked up at Connor with a wide smile, "thank you so much Connor!"
She wrapped her arms around his waist tightly, causing Connor to falter a little. He stood there awkwardly, unsure of what to do. Jesus what an awkward kid. Hank made a hugging motion to him, gesturing to Alice. Slowly but surely, Connor hugged back.
When Alice pulled off Connor she shimmied backwards, on her knees and eyes attentive. "I love them so much Connor but...I wanna hear a story from you!"
Oh this should be interesting.
"Uh? Me?" He looked at Hank, unsurely.
"Yeah, you're a detective, you're a cool cop like on tv." She smiled, "you've gotta have cool fighting bad guy stories!"
Connor's LED flickered to yellow for a moment, before turning blue, "Alright. Once we were told to investigate at a shared pent house-"
"WOAH- woah WOAH!" Hank butted in instantly, remembering the gruesome murder-suicide, "Connor can't you think of anything more kid friendly?"
Connor put a hand to his mouth, LED yellow once again, when it turned blue he said, "No. All our investigations end in murder."
"God I hate my job- ok uh...kid wouldn't you rather watch Batman then here us talk?"
Alice looked up at him, "Batman?" Back at home the t.v. was always on sports or news for Todd. So even with Kara and Luther in Canada she didn't know what to watch. She was a little out of tune with pop culture.
"What? Kid yknow like...batman! Cool crime fighter? Not as cool as me"
Alice shook her head.
"Hold on I have a DVD of it some-"
The tv flickered, next thing he knew the opening to Batman: the Animated Series was playing. "Connor for once I don't hate you and your stupid Tv hacking."
"It isn't hacking luitenet I simply connected to your-"
"Yeah yeah yeah whatever"
Alice kicked her legs as she watched the show. Her eyes were wide with amazement. Well Hank did something good today, he was all set to go-
"You aren't gonna watch it with us?"
Dammit. Hank can't refuse a little girl.
"Alright pumpkin, I'll watch just one episode with you-"
Or...four. or five. It's a good series, alright?. The three of them found themselves lost in the show, huddled up on the couch. Alice was between Hank and Connor, holding Connor's arms and leaning into Hank's side.
Connor chuckled to himself suddenly, getting both if their attention.
"What's so funny over there, huh?"
"Luteniet. Are you a 'gritty cop' because you liked this show as a child?"
Hank was completely seen through there. It was a part if it anyway. Shit. "What? Absolutely not!"
Alice stood up, covering her head with a blanket from the couch, "I wanna be a Batman gritty cop!"
Hank couldn't help but laugh when she put up two fingers as ears, "I am Hank Anderson, I am the night!"
"Alright alright I don't sound like that" at the skeptical look he got from Connor he rolled his eyes, "I don't sound completely like that."
Alice swooshed the blanket behind her as a cape, then pointed at Connor, "you, the joker, I will get you!"
Connor, opened his mouth to laugh but instead the Actual joker laugh came out. He had analyzed it back then. Damn kid analyzed everything.
"You'll never catch me Batsie!"
God it was so weird seeing Connor with the jokers voice.
Suddenly those two were running around his house, Sumo following close behind in the excitement. They ran in a loop, almost making him dizzy. But with the kid laughing like that how could he stop them?
Until it hit him, "oh sh-...oh crap! Connor have you even fed the kid!?"
Connor passed by, pausing in his run and in his normal voice said, "not to worry Luitenet, she's an android" before running off.
"Oh. Ok." Hank sat back on the couch, watching Alice chase after Connor. "Wait- she's a what?!"
---
Kara knocked on the door gently. She didn't dare ring the buzzer as it was pretty late. She didn't want to wake Alice too. Their plan was for Luther to carry her, still asleep. It always worked.
She was about to knock again when Hank opened the door, looking tired and gross.
She smiled, "hello detective."
He shook his head, "please, call me Hank, you must be Kara"
She nodded, "and this is Luther"
Luther nodded and waved, "hello."
"I hope Alice wasn't too much trouble"
Hank glanced back to where Alice was asleep on top of her caught criminal with the blanket still hugging her. "Nah, you got a good kid there."
