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“Jesus, Connor have you ever heard of taking a bath?! You fucking reek!” the Lieutenant said, pinching his nose to cover the smell emitting from the young android.
The latter just tilted his head in mild confusion, “Of course I’ve heard of it, Lieutena-“
“It’s a rhetorical question, what I’m trying to say is go take a shower or something, Jesus Christ.” Hank cut Connor off and shoved the dirty android towards the bathroom and shut the door in one swift motion.
Connor was just back from his meeting with the Jericho leaders, lending them a hand on whatever they were doing, ‘whatever the fuck they did that made Connor smell like a fucking hobo in the streets, hell even worse than one’ as Hank thought to himself. However, he was already relieved that Connor was out of his sight, meaning he didn’t have to endure the stink anymore.
Hank can hear water running for a couple of minutes before it finally stops. The android probably preferred to take a bath instead of a shower, something Hank mentally added to his list of ‘things Connor probably likes as a result from his deviancy’ that includes watching dumb sitcoms, walks with Sumo, knitting and many more. Hank likes these simple details about the deviant because it makes them both discover who Connor really is, what kind of personality he has, what he likes and dislikes. It really makes Connor look and feel human, even more than before.
Couple of minutes past and it equals into an hour, probably an hour and a half, Connor was inside the bathroom for quite some time. If he were a human he would’ve definitely had wrinkly fingers by now.
Hank decided to not pay it any mind and focuses on his game on the TV screen while a cold beer rests firmly in his hand.
The door shuts behind him as he stood and blinked once. He locks the door and decides to scan his surroundings which is Lieutenant Anderson’s bathroom, the same one he had went in a couple of weeks ago during the deviancy case they were assigned to. Of course, those aren’t the only times he had went inside his bathroom. He had went inside just to scrub the bathroom clean, his mission of neutralising 99.9% of germs successfully accomplished, leaving the android feeling satisfied. He always accomplishes his mission.
But it was only just for those; cleaning the bathroom once every week or two, nothing more. Androids don’t really take baths or showers unless absolutely necessary. However, since the uprising of the deviants, no one actually stand by that statement anymore since most of the androids that woke up find showers and baths to be extremely relaxing and refreshing, except for maybe Connor.
That is, until this day.
Without wasting anymore time, Connor turned the shower knob to fill the tub with warm water to its optimal water level. Once the tub is filled, he stripped off from his outfit and beanie until he was left with nothing but himself. He then proceeds to sink himself into the warm water.
It was… ok, to say at least. He had expected the bath to ‘wash away all the remaining loads’ he was feeling against his shoulders in an instant, as most of the deviants said. Having to kind of help lead the android revolution amongst Markus, North, Simon and Josh left the android detective feel tired, as impossible as it might sound; androids getting tired. Even Connor was in denial when Hank had said that Connor ‘looked like shit’.
The past few weeks have been the busiest he had ever been, helping Markus and the rest with Jericho. Maybe this time Connor deserves his sweet relaxation, but he wasn’t getting it at the moment, unfortunately. He then scans the bottles that sat on the corners of the bathtub before landing his vision to a particular soap bottle.
The body of the bottle was blue and was decorated with a picture of a pink cartoon elephant playing in a bathtub filled with bubbles, a product manufactured specifically targeted to young kids and not old grumpy men. Connor questioned himself for a moment as to why Hank would have this particular soap dispenser, but then stops shortly after assuming that Hank probably likes his bath to be filled with bubbles. The thought made Connor blow extra air from his nose, a reaction that humans have when experiencing mild amusement.
Suddenly, a wild idea struck him. He looks back at the bottle before hesitantly lifting it on his fingers while his other hand scratches the back of his neck nervously. He doesn’t understand as to why he acts this way, ‘it’s just a mere soap bottle no need to get your knickers in a twist’ Connor thought to himself. He then made an unnecessary glance to his surrounding to make sure he was alone, which he is obviously.
After fighting with his thoughts back and forth between executing this idea or not, he then finally gave up and decided on his stupid little idea.
He’s gonna have a freakin’ bubble bath.
Few moments later, his bath was completely filled with bubbles. The bubbles reached his nose, only 10% of his body visible and the other 90% was completely submerged in white foam. The bottle from earlier lays on the floor sideways, the contents inside almost gone because of Connor. Some of the bubbles from the bathtub spilled onto the tiled floor.
Connor is having the time. Of. His. Life.
He never knew life would be this great. He never knew being a deviant would be this great, good god or ra9 or whatever, everything was awesome to him and he wouldn’t even care if decades had past as long as he’s in the bathtub and no one would disturb him. He even cried a little because of the overwhelming happiness he felt as the soft white heaven foams touched his artificial skin. Ah, emotions. Seems like he has a long way to go to finally deal and get used to it. No wonder Hank loves having bubbles in his bath.
Connor then began putting some of the bubbles on his hair and styled his hair various of shapes. He styled them into a mohawk, a nerd-ish side parted hair, and he even attempted to create a… peacock? Out of his hair. He also put some of the bubbles on top of his upper lip to create a moustache.
Another wild idea struck him, and this time he wasn’t hesitant about it at all.
He discarded his attempt of turning his hair into a peacock and parted his front hair into two. He then took a handful of bubbles and put them onto both sides and the back of his head, resembling a head full of white hair. Happy and content with his work, he then moves to work on his face. He once again grabbed a handful of bubbles and put it on top of his mouth and chin, styling it to make it look like a white beard. He had made himself look like Hank with just bubbles.
Connor was finally done and he wanted to see his masterpiece but was really reluctant to get out of the bathtub. He wanted to just take a peek at the mirror without actually stepping out of the bathtub, leaving the bubbles alone. Unfortunately the distance between the bathtub and the sink is too far away. ‘Stay, Connor! You know you don’t want to get out!’ the imaginary voices of the bubbles ringed inside of his head. But he really wanted to see what he had done to his hair and face.
Finally, he stepped out of the bathtub and made his way towards the sink. He finally sees his reflection on the mirror.
A brief ‘pfft’ and then a sudden burst of laughter came out of the young android. It was loud and it echoed around the bathroom. His head rolled back while he covers both of his eyes with his palms, his other hand grips the side of the sink. His mouth starts to ache because of the stretch of his smile reaching both of his ears.
He stops for a while and catches his breath from his burst. He peeked again through his fingers to look at his reflection again a few milliseconds more and began to laugh out loud harder then the first. His laugh caused him to fall down and lay on his back against the tiled floor as he continues to laugh again, gradually starting to roll his body from side to side.
“AHAHAHAH Oh my god, oh hell na- AHAHAHHA!” Connor tries to talk but got simply cut off by his uncontrollable laughter. “Oh god- ppft arghhahaha what the fuck this is nuts!”
A sudden knock and a yell from the door didn’t stop Connor from laughing his ass off.
Just as he was about to sip a drink from his bottle, a muffled loud noise came from the bathroom almost made Hank sputter his beer from his mouth. He turned his attention from the TV and onto the source of the sound.
“What the fuck…” Hank muttered. He then stood up and began to make his way towards the bathroom slowly. Sumo was happily barking at the sound while hopping around, knowing that it is the sound of happiness and everything that has to do with happiness makes the good boy happy as well, no matter how weird it is.
Hank stops in front of the bathroom door and hesitantly lifted his knuckles to knock softly. There was a brief silence before the same laughter bursts again, this time it’s harder and even more louder, accompanied with a string of half assed words.
Now Hank already knew whose voice it was since the moment the first laugh was heard. It was Connor’s. He never really heard the android laugh, not even a chuckle. It comes out as a shocker to Hank when he found out Connor actually barks out his fucking laughter. Not to mention it was really contagious too, he couldn’t help himself but to smile at his contagious laughter.
Then he heard a loud thud from inside the bathroom. The laughter didn’t die out and instead became louder. Hank decided to knock on the door louder to get the laughing android’s attention.
“Connor what the fuck are laughing about?! Didya hit your fuckin’ head or something?!” the older man yelled, certainly worried a little bit of the android.
“Oh, Hank! Pffft hahaha oh sorry I just-“ Connor’s laugh subsided a bit and reduced into chuckles. He tries recompose himself but failed immensely. “I was just, screwing around with some bubbAHAHAHAH!!”
Connor went back into a laughing mess when he saw his reflection again when he stood up from his fall. Hank on the other side of the door was pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fuckin’ androids…” he muttered while he slowly shook his head.
“I don’t know what the fuck you up to in there, but if I see any single mess I’ll fuckin’ throw you in the dumpster!” Hank warned, didn’t really mean the words he said. “I’ll lend you my old clothes, set ‘em up on the bed in my bedroom. Hope it’ll fit ya, I guess.” Connor yipped out a lil’ ‘kay’.
Hank then went to his bedroom and pulled out a ‘Knight of The Black Death’ t-shirt from back in his 20’s out of his wardrobe and set it on top of his bed. He also pulled out a men’s pyjama shorts for Connor to wear and set it right next to his shirt.
Hank then walked back to where he was before and tries to distract himself from the growing migraine. “This fuckin’ android’s gonna be the death of me, I swear to god,” he said as he flips through channels to find what interesting things to watch.
After a few minutes passed, Hank heard a door open and shut followed by another door opened and then shut with a click of a lock. Hank registers this as Connor stepping out of the bathroom and went inside a bedroom to get dressed.
Few moments later, Connor got out of the bedroom and went towards the couch to sit next to Hank. Sumo also made his way to sit at Connor’s feet. ‘Fuckin dog left me for a fuckin android’. Hank glances at Connor and found that the man was beaming with glee. He had never seen Connor this happy before, the man was practically glowing!
“So… Mind telling me what happened back there?” Hank finally asked, breaking the silence between them.
“I-It’s nothing, Lieutenant.”
“It’S NoThIng, LieuTenAnt-shut the fuck up.” The man mocked. Connor’s brow furrowed a bit from the older man’s tone.
“Ya sounded like a hysterical lunatic, that was anything but nothing.” Hank let out a chuckle.
Connor was of undoubtedly embarrassed, but nevertheless chuckled alongside Hank.
“Heh, that sounded a lot more different than before,” Hank added a remark to Connor’s chuckle.
Connor punched the side of the man’s arm as he let out an annoyed whine. Hank let out a laugh as he added ‘laughing like a total maniac in the bathroom’ in his list and changing the list’s name into ‘What the Dork Likes to Do’.