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“How could you do that?” She spit angrily at Clarke.
Her eyes hardened. Echo had no right questioning her, but she answered nonetheless with a tone low and dangerous, “He put Madi in danger.”
Echo scoffed at Clarke's response. “He mourned you for years.” Echo said, her face disgusted.
Clarke flinched, the fight leaving her eyes. She was visibly stunned.
“He struggled up there. The first years were so hard for him and we all knew it. The only reason he ever did anything was because he felt indebted to you. Your memory and the expectations you had of him haunted him.”
Clarke’s eyes filled with tears. The guilt felt like a stone in her stomach. She felt utterly sick. “I—“ She began, but there were no words. None to explain how hurt she had been by the fact that he broke his promise, or even to explain how much she had mourned his absence. The thought of him coming back was the only thing keeping her alive until she found Madi, and even then, she’d prayed for his safe return every single day.
Echo’s eyes lowered, as if she knew something Clarke didn’t. “He pulled through because of you.”
A silence followed while Clarke processed Echo’s words. It seemed Bellamy’s time apart from her had not been much different than hers. Clarke sighed and they got back to work.
_____________________________________________
Somehow, Bellamy had made it there before Octavia. It was chaos; people were running around since the news that war was upon them had surfaced and it seemed every convict was running around with something to do. It had been hard to find a quiet moment to speak to each other. The only exchange between them had been a look of relief mixed with contempt. They were both upset with each other, to say the least, but neither of them could deny that they had let themselves take an unburdened breath once their eyes met.
They finally got a moment to themselves after they met with Raven and the others. They discussed the plans and everyone exited the rooms with their tasks. Bellamy hung back and caught Clarke’s arm before she left the room. She turned, her eyes slowly trailing up his arm to meet his. He slowly let go after quietly uttering her name.
“Clarke…” he began, but she interrupted him.
“I’m glad you’re okay.” She said, albeit dryly. He nodded.
“Listen,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion, “I never meant to put Madi in danger. That was not my intention."
“Yet you did.” She replied, turning her body around to face him fully. “Your family was safe.” Bellamy looked at the ground knowing he had hurt her when he drew a line between her and him with his words.
“I did what I had to.”
Clarke nodded, looking away. She could not bear to look him in the eye. She was so angry.
“Clarke, please.” He pleaded softly while he searched for her eyes.
“Did you know I radioed you every day for six years?” She asked, finally meeting his eyes. Her blue ones were full of hurt. Bellamy’s suddenly filled with pain. His brow creased. “I was pretty sure you couldn’t hear me… but it kept me sane. It allowed me to feel like I had something to look forward to when you all came down.” She said, smiling sadly. “When you came down.” She almost whispered.
Her lips pressed downward, like they usually did when she was trying not to cry. She let out a sorrowful chuckle. He looked so taken aback by the confession, like he almost hadn’t expected it. But she saw understanding in his face.
“I wish I would have known.” He said. And she knew what he meant. He wished he’d known so that he could come back to her. His partner.
Suddenly, they heard a voice from the door. “Are you guys coming, or what?” Raven said… while Echo sadly looked on behind her.