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Something Cynthia Rose said in the morning has been nagging at Aubrey’s brain all day, and even though it hasn’t distracted her from putting the Bellas through the Lodge’s intense team-building obstacle course, once they’re relaxing by the fire, she can’t help but let her mind wander to the simple sentence.
All of the Bellas are busy talking to each other and it gives Aubrey the chance to glance over at Stacie and really watch her. She pretends to sip from her mug and she laughs when Chloe laughs, head turned to where Amy and Chloe are talking about something animatedly, but she’s keeping a careful eye on Stacie as the girl laughs with Jessica and Ashley.
Almost as if she can sense she’s being watched, Stacie pauses in her movements but Aubrey knows that pause well enough so she quickly averts her eyes to look at Amy and misses Stacie turning to look at her, eyes narrowing slightly.
“You’ve been staring at me all day.”
Aubrey drops the sticks she’d been gathering at the words, hadn’t expected anybody to still be around after she’d sent the Bellas back to their tent to retire for the night.
“What?” she tries to say, voice cool as she bends down to pick up the sticks they’d used for s’mores.
“You’re good but you’re not perfect,” Stacie says, voice holding a teasing edge. “You’ve been watching me.”
“I’ve been watching everybody,” Aubrey says, straightening and turning to the brunette now that she’s gathered both the sticks and her composure.
Stacie looks to the skies and grumbles under her breath.
“You know, you are the most combative person I know.”
“Thank you,” Aubrey says with a small smile as she deposits the sticks on one of the seats.
“That wasn’t a compliment,” Stacie replies, but she’s smiling as she says the words.
Aubrey just rolls her eyes, hand reaching out towards the fire pit.
“Hey—what are you doing?” Stacie says suddenly, urgently yanking Aubrey’s hand away in a panic.
“Seeing if it’s still hot,” Aubrey says, pulling her hand back from Stacie’s grip and holding it over the ashes again.
“Aubrey—” Stacie snaps, fingers wrapping around the blonde’s wrist and moving her hand away again.
“Stacie,” Aubrey replies in the same tone, sighing when Stacie refuses to let go of her hand. “I need to see if it’s still hot or if I need to add more water.”
“There’s no other way to check that without possibly burning your hand?”
Aubrey’s expression softens when she realises what Stacie is worried about.
“I’m not going to touch the ash,” she explains. “Just hold my hand over it to see if it’s still giving off heat. I’ve done this before, Stacie.”
Stacie still looks sceptical, but she reluctantly lets go of Aubrey’s hand and watches with trepidation as the blonde holds her hand out over the ashes. Aubrey’s watching her closely though, can see how much effort it’s taking Stacie not to yank her hand away, so she pulls her hand back and reaches out to gently wrap her fingers around Stacie’s wrist, carefully moving her hand over the cool ashes.
“See?” Aubrey says softly. “No heat.”
Stacie doesn’t seem to really register her words, focused too intently on Aubrey’s fingers on her skin but she still nods slowly, brow furrowing almost imperceptibly when Aubrey lets go of her arm.
Her gaze flickers to Aubrey’s, finds amused eyes staring back at her but Aubrey’s biting her lip, like she’s physically trying to stop herself from saying something and the sight is so endearing that Stacie can’t help but bite.
“What?”
“You should really stay with your group,” Aubrey says quickly, knows how neurotic it might seem but Stacie just shrugs.
“We found our sound, I think we’re good,” Stacie says even though she glances over her shoulder at the dark path that leads to the shared tent. “Actually, shit.”
“What is it?”
“I sleep like, the furthest away from the entrance to the tent so I’m gonna have to crawl over like four people to get to my spot,” Stacie says with a quirk of her mouth.
“You should probably go, then,” Aubrey urges, even though she’s missed being around Stacie and doesn’t really want this to end.
“No, I came to talk to you, might as well get that over with,” Stacie says, turning back to look at Aubrey.
She’s not exactly surprised that Stacie has made it around the distraction back to the original point because she’s a smart girl, but Aubrey still sighs softly.
“What is it?”
“You’ve been watching me all day,” Stacie says.
“I’ve been watching—”
“Aubrey, stop,” Stacie says pointedly and she knows she’s right when Aubrey looks away from her and almost nervously smoothes down her already flawless trousers. “Why have you been watching me all day?”
“I’m trying to figure something out,” Aubrey says cryptically but it’s more than Stacie expects her to admit. “About my senior year.”
“About us?” Stacie asks softly but Aubrey’s still not looking at her.
“No. Not exactly,” Aubrey says, brow furrowing as she considers how to phrase her words without sounding accusatory. “When we decided to stop seeing each other…” Aubrey starts, pausing to find the words and it gives Stacie’s brain ample opportunity to run a myriad of counter sentences to those eight simple words because they weren’t just seeing each other and they didn’t just decide to stop seeing each other and also Aubrey’s words make it sound like it had been a mutual decision which it definitely had not been.
“When we decided to stop seeing each other and swapped stuff before I left, I specifically asked you if you had my lucky crystal and you said that you’d lost or misplaced it,” Aubrey says slowly and even though Stacie agrees more with the ‘Aubrey left’ part of that statement, it’s the simple and outright mention of that memory that makes her freeze.
Aubrey’s watching her closely and she knows Stacie so she immediately picks up on the shift in her body language and knows she’s right.
“And I was a little upset.”
“A little?” Stacie can’t help but point out and Aubrey shoots her a look.
“You were stressed out about finals and I already knew that I would be graduating with honours even if I failed all my finals so I gave it to you as a token of good luck and to maybe help you.”
“I know,” Stacie whispers.
“But you said…”
Stacie closes her eyes, remorse flowing through her veins and Aubrey’s really going to make her repeat the words even though she’s regretted saying them from the first moment they left her lips.
“Aubrey…” she pleads.
“You said…” Aubrey prompts again.
“That crystals are just pseudoscience and don’t actually work,” Stacie whispers, hates her younger self for being so callous with her words.
“So it was extra hurtful when I asked for it back and you said you lost it. I don’t even know if I believe in whatever healing powers crystals have, and I know it was a dumb gift, so imagine my surprise to hear that you’re still carrying around my lucky charm even though you say that you don’t believe it works.”
Stacie really can’t help herself and she knows there’s a lot to unpack from that statement, but her mouth gets away from her and she quickly says, “I don’t believe it works.”
Aubrey throws up her hands in exasperation. “Never mind.”
“Aubrey—”
“No,” Aubrey says sharply. “You wanted to know why I’ve been watching you all day? That’s why. I’m trying to figure you out because it just doesn’t add up.”
“Aubrey…” Stacie tries to plead but the blonde just shakes her head, turns to walk away and Stacie’s getting desperate now because she doesn’t want another three years to pass them by because she’s being stupid and not saying what she wants to say. “I didn’t want us to break up!”
“What?” Aubrey asks sharply, turning back with a frown.
“It was mean and I know that, okay? I hate myself for saying what I said because I know how much the crystal meant to you and I just—it was mean, I was mean.”
“Yeah, no I’m past that, I want to talk about the other thing now,” Aubrey says quickly, waving away Stacie’s words as she pins Stacie down with an intense look. “What do you mean, you didn’t want us to break up?”
“Exactly that,” Stacie says, reaching up to fiddle with her earring before abruptly dropping her hand when she realises she’s not wearing any earrings because of the obstacle course exercises. “You kept saying that we weren’t dating except that we were and then you said you were leaving and that was that.”
“We weren’t dating,” Aubrey counters.
“Yes! We were!” Stacie says, looking around quickly when she realises how loud her words had been. “You gave me a gift because I was nervous about finals.”
“A gift you said was shit,” Aubrey points out, and—
“Yeah, okay, bad example,” Stacie admits. “But we were dating. It was never just sex.”
Aubrey visibly pauses at that but doesn’t say anything and Stacie knows she’s right.
“We studied together, and we had dinner together, and we hung out, like, all the time. We’d cuddle together and watch movies together and we even had a joint Spotify playlist, Aubrey. It was never just sex.”
“We never talked about it,” Aubrey says in a small voice and Stacie agrees, nods and looks down.
“I just figured we were always on the same page,” Stacie says with a shrug, kicking at a fallen leaf on the ground with her shoe and Aubrey suddenly feels an uncomfortable weight settle on her chest.
“Stacie…”
Her voice is pleading and Stacie’s never been good at ignoring it so she looks up, sees Aubrey’s crestfallen expression.
“It’s fine,” Stacie says, her forced joviality belying the truth. “You made your feelings on the matter very clear so when you said you were leaving and that it had been a fun time and to go out and enjoy college life, I didn’t fight it because it was what you wanted.”
“It’s not what I wanted at all,” Aubrey says quickly, before her brain can get involved and stop her from speaking her truth.
“Huh?” Stacie asks, voice high-pitched and almost panicked as her eyes snap up to meet Aubrey’s, the words crumbling every conviction Stacie’d had that letting Aubrey walk away was a good decision.
“I didn’t want it to end. I just thought you were having fun and didn’t care.”
“I did care. So much. I was heartbroken when you ended things. I didn’t even ‘go out and enjoy college life’,” Stacie says, lifting her hands and using her fingers to emphasise the air quotes.
“You’re really hung up on that,” Aubrey can’t help but point out.
“Yeah because it was ridiculous and I was enjoying college life. With you.”
“Stacie…” Aubrey starts, because Stacie seems to be picking up steam again and Aubrey doesn’t want this to devolve into a sniping match.
“So I lied,” Stacie interrupts before Aubrey can continue. “I lied about losing your lucky crystal heart.”
“Why?”
“Because we were swapping stuff and I had to give you back all your stuff, even the shirt you loaned me that you said looked better on me than you,” Stacie says, the latter part of her statement coming out almost petulantly and Aubrey’s expression softens. “And I know I was mean about the crystal but I saw an opportunity and I took advantage of it so I told you I lost it because I thought that would be more believable than wanting to keep something of yours.”
“So you lied,” Aubrey says softly.
“So I lied,” Stacie parrots back, foot kicking at the leaf again.
“But you brought it here,” Aubrey points out.
“I didn’t know what here was until we got off the van and found you with a shotgun. I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“So you take it with you everywhere?” Aubrey asks and Stacie freezes, averting her eyes and basically giving herself away. “It’s been three years,” Aubrey says as if Stacie doesn’t already know that. “Have you been carrying it around for three years?”
Stacie doesn’t answer, dread filling her slowly as she comes to terms with the fact that she’s given away far too much information than is necessary and she doesn’t know how to come back from this.
“Stacie…” Aubrey pleads, worried by the woman’s refusal to meet her eyes so she brings in the big guns, if only to show Stacie that her very clear feelings aren’t unrequited. She drops her voice to a whisper, keeps her eyes trained firmly on Stacie’s face as she softly says, “Baby…”
“It reminds me of you,” Stacie finally says, looking up and meeting Aubrey’s eyes, biting her lip when she sees how tenderly Aubrey is staring at her.
“I wish I’d thought of keeping something of yours,” Aubrey finally says after the silence stretches on between them for a little too long but Stacie understands what she’s saying, what she’s trying to say and her heart soars.
“Really? After three years?” she asks and Aubrey nods.
“I still really, really like you,” Aubrey says, voice careful. “I might even L-word you.”
“Lesbian?” Stacie asks with a confused frown.
“Stacie!” Aubrey says, sighs with fond exasperation, eyes closing briefly as she tries not to smile too widely because she’d also really missed Stacie’s ability to turn everything into an innuendo. “Love.”
“Ohh.”
“Yeah.”
“I L-word you too, if that matters,” Stacie says with a shrug and Aubrey lets out a soft laugh at that. “So what now?”
Aubrey sighs deeply, stares at the fire pit but Stacie knows she’s deep in thought.
“I don’t know.”
“Do we—?” Stacie doesn’t know how to finish her sentence, ends up vaguely gesturing between herself and Aubrey.
“I’d like to.”
“Date?”
“Yes?” Aubrey says hesitantly.
“Not just sex?” Stacie asks to confirm and Aubrey immediately shakes her head.
“I don’t think we could just have sex.”
“I mean, we probably could just have sex,” Stacie says, changing the inflection of the sentence as a smirk tugs at her lips but Aubrey can’t even be mad at it, corners of her mouth twitching with a badly suppressed smile as she shakes her head with fond exasperation.
“What am I going to do with you?”
“Really naughty things, I hope,” Stacie says. “And also nice things,” she adds, staring off into nothingness as she contemplates the options.
Aubrey doesn’t say anything for the longest time, watches Stacie closely with a small smile on her face, sees as Stacie squares her shoulders and takes a deep breath.
“Well, now that that’s cleared up, bedtime, I guess,” Stacie says with a quick smile at Aubrey, hesitating before turning to go.
“Hey,” Aubrey says, waiting until Stacie turns back and urging her closer with a tilt of the head and a coy smile. “Come here, please.”
Stacie looks almost shy as she steps closer to Aubrey, smiling softly and looking down when Aubrey reaches out with a hand and tangles their fingers together, using their intertwined hands to pull Stacie even closer.
She’s looking down at their joined hands so she misses Aubrey’s other hand move up until it’s curled around the back of her neck and pulling her close, a small, squeaky “Oh,” falling from her lips just before Aubrey kisses her.
Aubrey smiles at the sound, presses her lips more firmly against Stacie’s and the woman seems to finally catch on, disentangling her hand from Aubrey’s to slide both her hands around Aubrey’s hips and up her back, pulling her closer as they trade kisses.
Aubrey melts easily in Stacie’s arms, sighs softly at how nice it feels to finally be kissing her again but she doesn’t get a moment to bask in the feeling before Stacie’s tongue swipes at her lower lip, gently urging her mouth open, so Aubrey lets her, gasps when Stacie’s tongue brushes against hers. Their movements become more frantic as their kiss heats up and Aubrey finds herself looping both arms around Stacie’s neck and standing on her toes as Stacie pulls her even closer, their bodies entirely pressed together. Aubrey nips at her lower lip, smiles smugly when Stacie moans into her mouth but then one of Stacie’s hands shifts down and with a hand on her ass, hauls her closer until she has a leg between Aubrey’s thighs.
Aubrey breaks away with a shudder, lungs burning as she tries to catch her breath and Stacie’s not faring much better as she turns her head so her lips are against Aubrey’s cheek. Aubrey shivers again when she feels Stacie’s heavy breaths fan warmly across her skin, so she shifts one of her arms out of the way so she can press her forehead against Stacie’s shoulder to try and get her breathing under control.
Stacie’s hand, the one that isn’t still groping her butt, leisurely rubs up and down her back, almost as if Stacie doesn’t know she’s doing it and it sends a flash of heat through Aubrey who lifts her head to meet sparkling green eyes.
“We need to stop,” Stacie croaks out when she sees the intent written clearly across Aubrey’s face.
Aubrey doesn’t try to hide her disappointment and Stacie smiles, leans in to kiss her quickly.
“I really don’t want to have to go back to a tent with 9 other girls while thinking about having sex with you.”
“So if we stop now you won’t be thinking about having sex with me?” Aubrey teases.
“If we don’t stop now, I’ll really want to touch myself and sharing a tent isn’t going to stop me,” Stacie says, grinning when she sees Aubrey’s eyes flash darkly.
Aubrey tightens her arms around Stacie, glancing over the brunette’s shoulder at the dark path leading to the tent, mouth quirked in consideration.
“Here’s the thing…” Aubrey starts and Stacie’s already smiling.
“Hm?”
“You walking back alone was dangerous because of the bear traps,” Aubrey says, shooting Stacie an admonishing look.
“Well, I’m here now.”
“I can’t let you walk back to your tent alone,” Aubrey says.
“You could walk me to my tent,” Stacie says, leaning in and peppering kisses along Aubrey’s jaw.
“But then I would have to walk back alone,” Aubrey says.
“Yeah but you know where all the bear traps are,” Stacie points out, scrapes her teeth along skin and Aubrey whimpers.
“Stacie,” Aubrey says pointedly.
“What?” Stacie whines impatiently, lifting her mouth away from soft skin.
“It’s dark. Anything could happen,” Aubrey says but Stacie’s expression doesn’t change. “I can’t believe you’re the smartest person I know,” Aubrey says, shaking her head with exasperation.
“I’m the smartest person you know?” Stacie asks in surprise, tenderness colouring her tone heavily.
“Not right now, you’re not,” Aubrey says quickly. “Stacie, nobody should be on the paths alone at night, you or me. Wherever we go, it needs to be together, just in case something happens.”
“Oh, okay,” Stacie says, nodding slowly, but then she stops, a wide smile unfurling over her face. “Ohh.”
“Yes.”
“You have a bed?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re inviting me to share it with you?”
Aubrey opens her mouth to reply but there’s something in the way her eyes crinkle or how the corner of her mouth twitches that Stacie knows she’s going to say something snarky so to avoid that, Stacie quickly leans in and swallows the words as she kisses Aubrey, licking into her mouth hotly.
“Just to sleep,” Aubrey mumbles against her lips.
“Sure,” Stacie says as she continues to kiss her.
“And you need to shower before you get into my bed.”
“Absolutely.”
“Also—”
“Oh my god, shut up,” Stacie says, doubling her efforts as her hands move up to cup Aubrey’s face so she can focus on kissing Aubrey deeply.
Aubrey finally settles into the kiss, her hand twisted in Stacie’s plaid shirt and pulling her close, other hand curled around Stacie’s hip and she’s just about to take control when Stacie rips away from her, keeps her face cradled in her hands and Aubrey whines softly, leaning forwards and seeking out Stacie’s soft lips but the brunette keeps her at a distance.
“Wait,” Stacie says, has to clear her throat to get rid of the hoarseness. “How did you know I still have the crystal heart?”
“Cynthia Rose complained about it digging into her shoulder this morning,” Aubrey says, panting.
“Well, remind me to thank her in the morning,” Stacie says, nodding with a smile before turning to look at Aubrey. “This is going to work, right?”
Aubrey smiles brilliantly up at her then, fingers easing against her sides as she softens and Stacie can’t help but mirror the serene smile, leaning in to kiss Aubrey slowly after the blonde nods.
“I like you and you like me and we both know that now,” Aubrey says. “So, yes.”
“It’s like that shitty Barney song,” Stacie teases, even though she’s smiling widely at Aubrey’s words, leans in to press her forehead against Aubrey’s.
“If you start singing that song I will send you back to your tent,” Aubrey threatens but her arms slide around Stacie’s middle and hold her close.
“Well then let’s go to bed before that has a chance to happen.”
“You don’t need to go get your sleeping aid?” Aubrey teases softly.
“No,” Stacie says, wrapping her arms around Aubrey, “I have you now.”