Chapter Text
“Life is hard when you’re a gay icon but still technically not out yet,” Cyrus gave an exasperated sigh. He was at The Spoon with Andi and Buffy as he tended to do most days. “Do you know how many wasted joke opportunities I’ve let just fly by? It’s appalling.”
Andi chuckled, rolled her eyes and popped a baby tater in her mouth. “Come on, Cyrus. I doubt there are that many gay jokes you could possibly be missing out on making.”
He placed his hand to his chest, mouth slightly agape in offense. “First of all, how dare you underestimate my ability to turn anything into a clever pun? Second of all, you’re aware of my terrible experiences in gym class. Whenever Mr. Rez criticizes me for not throwing a ball straight it takes every ounce of willpower in my tiny body to not tell him But Mr. Rez, I can’t do anything straight! So, I struggle fairly often.”
“Hey, at least there are no balls to throw in gymnastics. That’s the next unit coming up, isn’t it?” Buffy chimed in. “Think about it. In just a few weeks, you won’t even have to push away the temptation.”
Cyrus groaned, lying his head on the table. He hated gymnastics with a burning passion. It required too much upper body strength. And lower body strength. And middle body strength. And balance. And general physical prowess. It was just, overall, not meant for him. “Buffy, please don’t remind me. I’ve been trying to ignore that anxiety inducing hellspawn of a sport. And you won’t even be there to spot me! You usually just flip me over so I don’t have to do it myself! No one else is going to do that!”
Buffy’s impending move was the elephant in the room everyone was too scared to address. Rather, Buffy didn’t want anyone addressing it; she would much rather her penultimate days in Shadyside be spent like all the other ones before.
Cyrus mentioning her move brought the overall tone down; the smiles they wore were much more desolate now. They picked at the baby taters with less enthusiasm; silence lingered in the air heavily. It felt nearly permeable.
It was broken when Andi cleared her throat. “Anyway, how did the fundraiser for the Space Otters go? The pancake thing? I totally would have helped out but I was with Bowie’s new girlfriend’s daughter.”
The bitterness was very apparent in her voice. Cyrus made a mental note to ask Andi about that situation later. He was more surprised that Jonah didn’t tell her. After all, they were a thing, weren’t they?
“I thought Jonah would have told you,” Cyrus commented.
“Yikes, salt alert,” Buffy laughed, casting a teasing glance over at Cyrus. The two had resolved their argument, in addition to learning information about Jonah. Jonah’s anxiety disorder wasn’t Cyrus’s secret to tell Andi. Jonah would have to tell her himself, but he seemed to not like telling her anything.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he furrowed his brows to look more hurt than he actually was by her comment. Sure, what he said may have come out a bit more curt than intended, but he wouldn’t have called it salty.
“Whatever. It’s not important. Can I have an answer to the question I asked?” Andi seemed a little irritated by the exchange. She most likely wasn’t thrilled that Cyrus pointed out the lack of communication between her and Jonah. It was obvious they struggled to communicate.
“The fundraiser was quite a party. We had some great volunteers including Cyrus and I in the depths of a fight, an incredibly stressed out Jonah Beck, and… Gus.”
“At least Gus was there,” Andi shrugged, trying (and failing) to hold back her giggles. “Who knows what would have happened without him?”
“I don’t know why he trusted Gus to send out the reminders about the Space Otters fundraiser to the team when I’m here! I’m so much more responsible. I never would have let Jonah down like that,” Cyrus’s expression was deadpan, his eyes incredibly serious. The only thing that gave away the fact that he wasn’t actually pissed off was the smile that broke loose three seconds later.
“Oh, I’m sure you would never dream of letting down Jonah,” Buffy sighed melodramatically. Cyrus’s cheeks flushed a faint pink while Andi seemed to be lost in a fit of giggles. “Imagine the horror!”
“Hey, you have no right to be laughing, Mack! You like him too!” Cyrus said defensively, crossing his arms. “Don’t throw glass in your stone house.”
“Actually I think--”
“Shut up, you know what I meant.”
Once the triumvirate parted ways, Cyrus let his mind wander. This was a relatively common occurrence during the walks home from the Spoon. It was his time to decompress and mentally digest the events of the day, week, whenever. The walk wasn’t terribly long but it was the perfect amount of alone time for him to be able to just think.
First, he thought about Jonah. Jonah was very often the first thing to occupy his thoughts. His green eyes and dimpled smile were impressionist paintings in his mindscape. Jonah Beck was perhaps prettier than a Cezanne. The pretty smile seemed to be more and more of a facade to Cyrus as he got closer to Jonah. His parents warned him against psychoanalyzing his friends, but it was something he simply couldn’t help. The beam of sunshine he radiated was a performative act; he needed to be adored by everyone. It was hard not to adore him, even in his darkest moments.
He thought about the information Jonah shared with him and Buffy. He also suffered from panic attacks; it was something… unexpected. He had never considered Jonah on such an earthly level. His crush on Jonah, to him, was akin to his affinity for the poster of Zac Efron in High School Musical that he had taped on his wall. It was safely unattainable; he could pine in peace. Yet, that didn’t seem to be the case anymore. Jonah Beck, though sweet and charming, was no Zac Efron. Well, probably. Cyrus didn’t know Zac Efron. He could go on to pretend Zac Efron wasn’t a tangible human being, just a very pretty face.
His mind drifted from Jonah and Zac Efron to TJ and Buffy (in his defense, there was a clear connection: Jonah, Zac Efron, Troy Bolton, Basketball, TJ). Cyrus felt relief that he and Buffy had settled their quarrels and she was okay with him and TJ’s friendship. Sitting with her at the Spoon with Andi was so relieving he wanted to cry.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. He stopped walking to read and reply to the notification (for someone as accident-prone as he was, texting and walking was a dangerous action). Looking down at his phone, he saw a text from TJ. He wondered if he could sense that he was on his mind.
With that came a spike of anxiety. I haven’t responded to any of his messages since my fight with Buffy shit shit shit, Cyrus scrambled to open his phone and see the message.
TJ: Is everything ok?? I havent heard from you??
TJ: is there a reason ur ignoring me underdog
TJ didn’t strike him as the type of person to double text. Let alone try to reach out to him for days with no response. He cared about Cyrus enough to keep trying. It weirdly warmed his heart, to know that a guy like TJ wanted to be friends with someone as small and low on the social food chain as him.
Me: i was in an argument with Buffy/// it’s not a big deal!! we’re better now dw i just was too upset to text back
TJ : what was the fight about
Me: Nothing really.
TJ: sureeeee. You can say it was about me i promise i wont bite yours OR buffys head off underdog
Me: I’ll tell you more about it later dw,, i just need to actually finish walking home. I stopped to respond and now im just kinda chilling on the sidewalk??
TJ: cant walk and text at the same time?
Me: what kind of CRIMINAL do u take me for tj??????
On the rest of his walk home, he felt his phone buzz inside of his pocket three or four times. He wondered if TJ was normally this eager to talk to people. Was Cyrus special to him? It was a weird thought for him to have, but a nice one.
Once he got home and comfortably flopped onto his soft bed, he pulled out his phone to check his text messages once again. He had a text from Jonah Beck! The image of his name on his phone caused his heart to flutter.
Jonah <333: Hey (: I just wanted to thank u again for helping me out. Ur the best cy-guy
Me: No problem. It’s not like I was doing anything anyway. Besides, I AM the #1 Space Otters fan. Why wouldn’t I help you out?
Jonah <333: I meant more than just the fundraiser. Thank u for helping me with my… problem
Cyrus slammed his phone onto his bed at that moment, his heart beating out of his chest. Jonah Beck was thanking him for personally helping him. He had no clue how to cope with this.
Me: Of course! What are friends for?
Jonah <333: That’s why ur the best
Cyrus wanted to screenshot that text and frame it. He knew Jonah liked Andi; it made talking about his boy problems nearly impossible. Andi tended to be more focused on her boy problems. That’s because she has a shot at getting the boys, he told himself dejectedly. God, he just wanted a friend to vent to.
It wasn’t his top priority at the moment. He looked at his other texts: one from TJ, and two from the groupchat with Andi and Buffy. He remembered how terribly he was going to miss Buffy. Maybe he could push Jonah problems away and focus on that. The problems could wait, like, three days… couldn’t they?
Ah, one could only hope.