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I pull my jacket in closer to shield myself from the cold bitterness of the wind. It’s only November, but it feels like winter will start at any moment. It’s not quite snowing, but it might as well be. The skies are dim, covered in a blanket of grey clouds, you can barely even see the moon. Not exactly the most uplifting weather for a night in the city. I’ll be honest, I’m not even sure why I’m here. I’m not sure what I’ve been doing this past month. It’s... been a haze.
That day at the restaurant constantly plays in my head. I didn’t think she would cut us off like that! I thought we were doing so well! Was that all a lie? Ugh, maybe she’s not even mad at me but… am I really too much to deal with? Have I always been a handful? I thought I had closure on this years ago, why is it still haunting me now?
These thoughts run rampant in my mind wherever I went. I don’t feel like myself. Everyone at the agency noticed it. Pearly and Trucy especially. They’re doing all they can to cheer me up, and I try to put a brave face for them. On the inside though, I just feel empty. I’ve tried to fill the void by looking for maybe a fling? Someone to spend a night with? Doesn’t even have to be long term, just… something. And yet, I can’t even bring myself to say anything when I’m at these bars and hangouts. I just feel alone and helpless. Even when drunk guys with low standards try to hit on me, I don’t even humor them. Which leads to pointless nights like this. Sitting on a nearby bench, barely looking up from my feet. Not a word. Just me, burying my face in my jacket, playing that same scene in my head. Over and over.
“Can’t sleep?”
I looked up to see a familiar face. Apollo Justice. Not in his usual get up, rather a casual jacket and jeans combo. He’s visiting from Kurah’in on a short vacation. I haven’t had much time to talk to him since he started staying over there. We’ve been introduced of course, but since he’s so busy all the time, I haven’t really had the chance to get to know him.
“I guess you can say that.” I reply.
“Surprised to see you out here. You live in Kurain Village right?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I respond, not looking up from my feet, “I just wanted to go on a night out. You know, enjoy the lights, keep my thoughts busy…”
“... Something wrong?”
I looked up to look at Apollo. He was firmly rubbing his right wrist, which had a gold bracelet on it. I felt myself close up. I shouldn’t have forgotten. Nick told me all about Apollo’s perceive ability. Guess I said something that gave it away.
“... Can’t hide it from you, can I?”
“In all honesty, I think I already know what’s troubling you.” He sat in a spot on the bench next to me.
“Did Nick tell you?” I asked.
“Actually, Nahyuta told me,” Apollo clarified, scratching the back of his neck, “Ema seems to vent her frustrations on him a lot.” The thought make me smile. Ema was always frustrated with Nahyuta, but I guess they can be supportive to each other when they want to.
“That sounds like something she’d do…”
A few moments of silence followed. Kind of hard to follow up a conversation after that…
“... I’m sorry you have to go through this.” he said.
“Hm?”
“I can tell you’re not yourself right now. And I get it. Things like this can get you down, but, I know you’re strong enough to get through it!” I was a little taken aback by how much faith Apollo had in me. We’d only just met a couple months ago, and even then we’ve only spoken two or three times.
“You really think so?”
“Of course,” he said, giving me a bright smile, “Mr. Wright told me so much about you. All the hardships you went through, and how you were able to put on a brave face through so much of the pain. I can’t even imagine going through that myself. It’s kind of weird to say but… I kinda look up to you.” I didn’t know what to say. I was equal parts flattered, surprised, and confused.
“I… Thank you! I mean, you’re not so bad yourself, saving an entire country and all.” I said, giving him a slight smirk.
“Trust me, it’s not as glamorous as you make it sound.” snarked Apollo, rolling his eyes.
“Oh I don’t know, being regarded as a hero by thousands of people seems pretty nice, huh?” I remarked, giving him a light nudge.
“Well, there’s still some resistance,” Apollo answered, looking a little dispirited, “but for the most part, yeah. I guess I’m a big deal.”
“Ooo, so humble,” I sarcastically commented, “I bet all the cute Kurahnese girls faint when you declare you’re ‘not that big a deal.’”
“Wh- No! It’s not like that at all!” Apollo quickly refuted.
“Then what,” I giggled, “you can’t tell me you don’t have a line of them waiting for you to date them!”
“Actually,” Apollo started, “it’s been a lot harder for me to develop relationships lately. I’m already busy enough taking on so many cases at once, but I also got to hire people, manage paychecks, do my own errands as an, I guess ‘celebrity’ of Kurah’in, I can barely find the time to sleep!”
“Wow. And I thought being master of Kurain was busy work.”
“So, what was that about being a hero being ‘pretty nice’?”
“Whatever.”
We had a good laugh over it, and went silent again. I was starting to feel better. Still, that lingering sadness came back once it went silent. I didn’t know what else to do, so I laid my head on Apollo’s shoulder. He didn’t seem to mind it. I just needed a shoulder to lie on. It felt comforting.
We sat there for a little while until I spoke up.
“Thanks for being here with me.”
“Anything to help a friend,” he responded, “you gonna be okay?”
“... I don’t know.” I responded. More silence.
“You know,” Apollo said, “it’s late, but do you want to do a Chords of Steel exercise with me?” I picked myself off his shoulder and looked at him.
“Isn’t that that thing where you scream really loudly and hope you feel better afterwards?” I asked.
“No. Well, yes. Kind of.” He looked a little flustered.
“If you think it’ll help me, I’ll do it!” I said, hoping it’d make him feel better.
“All you have to do is shout to the clouds that you’re fine,” Apollo said, standing up from the bench, “in your case, you would yell, ‘I’m Maya Fey, and I’m fine.’ Got it?”
“Yeah,” I said, lifting myself up from the bench, “sounds easy!”
“I’ll start!” Apollo took a deep breath before shouting, “I’m Apollo Justice, and I’m fine!”
I kind of jumped when he did it. I forgot about how loud he can be…
“... You try!” he said, giving me a smile. I mentally prepared myself, shut my eyes, and took a deep breath…
“I’M MAYA FEY, AND I’M FINE!”
When I opened my eyes, I looked over at Apollo. He had a shocked, yet proud look on his face.
“... You’re a natural!” Apollo quipped in excitement.
“That… that felt great!” I said. I wanted to do it again!
“I’m Maya Fey, and I’m fine!”
“I’m Apollo Justice, and I’m fine!” Apollo joined in.
“I’m Maya Fey, and I’m fine!”
“I’M APOLLO JUSTICE, AND I’M FINE!”
“I’M MAYA FEY, AND I’M FINE!”
“SHUT UP, SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!”
Apollo and I looked back at the apartment complex behind us. An old man in pajamas had his window open and was glaring at us.
“Sorry sir! We’re done!” Apollo responded. The old man gave us a rude gesture before closing his window.
“I know I should feel bad… but I don’t!” I cheered. “I haven’t felt this alive in months!”
“I’m glad I can lift your spirits up,” Apollo remarked, “but it is really late. You should probably make your way back to Kurain Village.”
“Right! Of course…” I looked at Apollo, for a bit, deliberating on whether I want to hug him or… yeah I’ll just hug him. I walked over and squeezed him.
“Thank you, Apollo.” I whispered.
“Y-you’re welcome…” Apollo whimpered. I think I was hugging him a little too hard. I let go and let him free.
“I’ll see you later then?” I asked.
“Of course,” Apollo answered, “I’m here for a couple more days. Just let me know if you have the time!”
“Yeah!” I said. I couldn’t help but hug him again. Maybe a little less tight this time. Once we let go, we said our goodbyes and I made my way back to the train station. I had the biggest smile on my face the whole way back.