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==> Be the Other Guy

Summary:

You are now Yamaguchi Tadashi. You should probably list all the things you know about this game, since you don't know what in the heavens is happening!
1) Tsukki is in danger and you need to save him! *top priority
2) You're starting to develop this strange intuition that, while very helpful, is also starting to freak you out.
3) And surprise, surprise: everything's going wrong.

That's it, really. You're not missing anything. Your coplayers are wonderful people, and there's no need to insult them whatsoever.

Notes:

The colored text looks best on a white background!

Thank you again internet for Yamaguchi's fetch modus. I find it extremely hilarious.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

-- tauntinglyTall [TT] entered "Volleybros and gals" --

TT: It actually worked. I don't believe this.
TC: (*0*) wow Tsukki! he is so cute!
TG: wait whos cute?
TG: what are we talking about?
TT: Yamaguchi threw my dead pet bird into the kernelsprite.
TT: And now he's a chirping floating circle.
TG: whoaaa!!!!!!!!!!
TG: i wish i could have done that!
TG: instead of someone dropping the creepiest dragon painting in there... :P
AT: Would u be quiet dumbass

Yamaguchi smiles a little at his friends' antics. They are so silly! Although Tsukki is still talking about his resurrected pet bird, he feels compelled to look out the window for a bit. It's an ordinary summer day; the weather is at the perfect balance of cloudy and clear, providing a beautiful view of the blue sky, wispy clouds interspersed throughout. His Cousin's truck is unfortunately not in the driveway. He must be coming home from work now.

Tsukki's pigeon coos in the cage next to him. She's such a sweet bird! Tsukki and he have been communicating this way for years, so he already has a cage and food set up, just in case he couldn't return the message right away. He reaches over and gives her an affectionate scritch through the bars.

Might as well examine the rest of the room while he's at it...

He tells the voice in his head to pipe down, he'll get there when he gets there. Not everything has to be a competition like Hinata and Kageyama are always saying! But since the thought has already been implanted in his mind, he decides to look around anyway.

Next to the bird cage is his beloved box of Pokemon plushies. He never has time to play anymore, but at least he can snuggle with his cute Vulpix, Ducklett and Umbreon! Deciding to take the Umbreon plush with him, he pulls out his phone, on which his Siri fetch modus has already been installed.

"Umbreon," he says.

"I'm Briand," it responds, and creates a ghost image of Briand, the prime minister of France. Yamaguchi sighs. He's never had any luck with his modus.

"Black plushie?" He tries. His sylladex takes it reluctantly. Well, at least he got it.

The other walls of his room feature various art pieces, such as a watercolor painting he did a couple of days ago. It's a field of violets with a beautiful night sky above. He thinks it's a very peaceful looking place. There are also a few McDonalds coupons scattered across his desk. He should probably hide those. No one can know about his love of McDonald's french fries. That would be "lame".

On the other side of his room is his shelf of potted plants which he has collected over the years. He loves growing things, and seeing tiny seeds sprout before his very eyes makes his heart all fuzzy inside. Also on that wall is a star poster matching Tsukki's one. He likes to go stargazing with Tsukki every once in a while, for completely platonic reasons of course!

Yes... completely platonic...

Finally, in the corner is an empty pet bed. His cat Schrody is always vanishing, but he always shows up when it's time for food, so it's not too concerning to him. Which reminds him, he should probably feed him soon, otherwise he might attack Tsukki's pigeon and that wouldn't be fun for anybody.

Following his usual routine, he goes to the fridge and captchalogues a frozen squid (it only takes him about three tries this time). Then he turns on the cookalizer and lightly irradiates it. Schrody likes his seafood fresh, but today he'll have to make do with defrosted. Yamaguchi puts the defrosted squid in his food bowl and he materializes.

"Purr."

He rolls over for belly rubs and Yamaguchi can't help but indulge him. He is such a good cat! Then his phone buzzes.

-- uncertainAnxiety [UA] entered "Volleybros and gals" --

UA: h-hey everyone, um...
UA: I-I have a bit of an issue...
TG: whats wrong?
UA: w-well, how do I put this...
UA: m-my house kind of, um...
UA: g-got hit with a meteor?
TC: ( 'o') ! oh no! are you okay?
TT: Hinata, you need to connect to her soon.
UA: I-I'm ok, but this timer is kind of freaking me out...
TG: i keep telling everyone, i dont have a disc!!!!!!!!!!
TT: It seems this game runs on a sort of punch card alchemy. So it is possible that we can make another disc. It will require time, however.
UA: o-ok, but wait...
UA: Hinata, you said you don't have a disc?
UA: d-does that mean

-- uncertainAnxiety [UA] is no longer connected! --

TG: yachi?!
TT: Yamaguchi. Deploy the other machine. The "Intellibeam Laserstation". I believe I need that to make a server disc, since apparently the code is unreadable.
TC: but we don't have nearly enough grist for that!
TT: Use your fetch modus. Ghost images still have codes on the back.
TC: ok I'll try but...
TC: you know how badly it works (^-^;)

He pushes the captchalogue button on his phone and speaks. "Intellibeam... laserstation?" He thinks that's what it's called. The modus takes a moment to process.

"Intel a beam laser station," it responds. Well... it's close enough. The modus captures a ghost image and he turns the card around to find the code.

Oh, and where did Schrody run off to? Well, it's not the time to worry about that anyway...

TC: ok Tsukki! it's Lf6sxV?n ~
TT: Got it. I'll attempt to decipher the beta code. Hinata, be ready to connect.
TC: hopefully Yachi will connect to me too! I'm not sure how long I have left exactly...
AT: Well just have to see, hopefully shes already connected...
TC: I don't think so, otherwise wouldn't I have machines in my house?

There's the sound of a screen door opening, and keys rattling. "Tadashi!" His Cousin yells. "Groceries!"

"Coming!" He pipes back.

TC: sorry I have to go put away groceries now ~
TC: but whenever someone feels up to saving me feel free to! I left the client running so... ~

His Cousin is buried neck-deep in bags of produce when Yamaguchi enters the kitchen. "Ah, Tadashi, how was your day?" He asks.

"Same as always," he replies. Then, "How many pumpkins did you get?"

"What pumpkins?" His Cousin asks, looking over with a frown. Yamaguchi does a double take when he sees the three pumpkins that had been sitting there have mysteriously vanished.

"Um... never mind."

"Did you feed the cat?"

"Yup!" Yamaguchi yawns. He's feeling a little sleepy...

Suddenly, a deafening boom shakes the earth. The windows fly open from the force of the wind, and a few poor onions tumble out of their bags into the other room. Car alarms are going off and the lights above them are swinging fiercely.

"What the heck?" His Cousin peers outside and gasps. "Holy mother of cow! Are you seeing this?"

From their house, Yamaguchi can see the houses on the mountain across from them. Or at least, the smouldering remains of them. It seems the whole side of the mountain was hit by an enormous meteorite.

And that's where Yachi lived.

TC: Yachi!! please respond
TC: hello?!
TT: What happened?
AT: Why are u freaking out
TC: I just saw Yachi's whole neighborhood blow up!
TC: I... I don't think she made it...
TG: ur serious?!
TG: ur not serious right?!
AT: Of course hes serious dumbass

-- tinyGiant [TG] left "Volleybros and gals" --

TC: wait Hinata
TC: gosh darn dingle pringle
TC: I'm not out of the hole yet you know!
TT: The code for the beta is 01001000.
TT: Kageyama. Please talk to Hinata, he'll probably only respond to you.
AT: if u say so

His Cousin is still staring in awe out the window. Yamaguchi taps him lightly on the shoulder. "Um, do you mind staying in here? I need to do something that involves... a lot of room." He just nods silently, so Yamaguchi leaves him there.

After a few seconds of just standing in the living room, the reality of what has happened hits him. Yachi was such a nice girl... his eyes water a little. No! He has to stay strong. He needs to enter the game so he can be useful to his teammates! But it's not like he can do much at the moment, so he sits curled up against the wall for a while, waiting for Hinata to get in touch, or drop machines, or do SOMETHING. His phone buzzes again.

-- tauntinglyTall [TT] began pestering trueCompanion at 18:58 --

TT: Yamaguchi.
TT: Yamaguchi.
TT: Tadashi.
TC: (T~T) yes Tsukki?
TT: Stay alive. Please.
TC: ok I will.
TC: I promise.

Notes:

Don't worry, everything will be ALL RIGHT. Even though this has taken a twist for the serious... we'll still have shenanigans.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorsofaYinYang/works

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