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You get drunk one time. You try to wash away all the pain, all the anxiety and stress crawling inside of you like a terrifying monster has grown there, in the pit of your nauseous stomach one time. You get sick of life and fuck it all—literally—one time. But what Virgil wouldn’t give to do that one time over again.
Now because of that one night of countless, reckless bad decisions, he was sitting in his small apartment, eating a cup of ramen noodles. True, this was not a surprising sight and would have easily been seen many years ago when he was just a student out of college trying to make a cruddy living for himself. But now it wasn’t just himself.
Now there was a program meant for a child talking about the ABCs on the television in front of him and crayons scattered across the coffee table where he’d normal prop his feet on top of, because now Virgil had a kid. Yeah, not the direction he thought his life would take either, but that’s what happens when you let go one time. You got a kid, a hundred more responsibilities, another part-time shift to work, and stupid kid shows on your T.V twenty-four-seven.
But as bad as it sounded, Virgil wasn’t completely miserable. Virgil had a friend, Logan, who he could always count on to lend him some money whenever he needed it, babysit Charlie whenever he needed to work extra late at night, and even cry on his shoulders in the early mornings when his son was tucked in bed and Virgil was able to let out all his pent up emotions. After all, what else was a guy supposed to do when the girl he had a one night stand with only came back to dump the baby into his arms and leave?
It was years ago but Virgil was still not over it, and he was still paying for his mistakes as he had to work for another plate of food for his unplanned son. But at least he had Logan. He had always had Logan, who stuck by him through thick and thin unlike the bitch he decided to hook up with that night so long ago. Virgil knew Logan, and mutual respect turned into a friendship and now friendship has become a term that made Virgil’s heart twist.
For Virgil had a crush on Logan.
Maybe it would have stayed that way too, and then melted away with time just like all the others. But a week after Charlie’s fourth birthday, Logan said something to Virgil that he would never forget. It has made his blood run cold and he remembered standing there, frozen in the middle of his kitchen, about to head out for work after Logan offered to look after Charlie. After all the time, Virgil didn’t know what to think about what he had said.
“I love you.” Straightforward, yet soft and heavy, not unlike the man himself. Virgil had gulped, nodded, and ran out of the apartment so that Logan wouldn’t see his red face. Because surely he hadn’t meant it in a romantic sense. The robot could barely sit through a romantic movie without squirming. Yet he had said it nonetheless.
These were the thoughts prodding at Virgil as he sat on the couch, Charlie curled up next to him, asleep, and Logan on the chair beside them, reading through a newspaper soundly. Virgil snuck small glances at him, hoping he didn’t catch him as his eyes dragged between him and the childish program on T.V that honestly made no sense to him, but Charlie like it anyways.
The night wore on, and eventually Charlie was tucked into bed. Logan got up to leave, and as he did so, Virgil said, “Thanks for coming over tonight. I know the phone call was kinda weird, buddy, but uh... I didn’t want to be alone.”
“But you have Charlie, Virgil.”
Virgil looked down at the ground at that. “Charles doesn’t count, Lo.”
“I know,” Logan said, and actually smiled one of his rare, genuine smiles and turned to leave.
In act of pure impulsiveness and lovesickness, Virgil called out after him, in the most casual voice possible, “I love you.” Did he sound like he meant it? He hoped he didn’t. Hell, he hoped he didn’t mean it. But either Logan didn’t hear him or he ignored him because he shut the door and Virgil was left by himself again.
Then a month later something happened. Virgil was driving home, and some jerk was speeding too fast and slammed into him. It wasn’t that bad, thank God, and the only thing that got hurt were the cars. And Virgil’s wallet. He had nearly gone broke with the debt he had to pay, and when he finally sat down one night to tell Logan all of this, he found himself sobbing harder than he ever had before.
Logan watched this for a solid minute before doing the unthinkable. He opened up his arms, welcoming Virgil for a hug. Virgil started at him through his wet, blurry vision then jumped into his arms, whimpering into his friend’s sleeve as Logan patted his back. As far as affection went, Virgil knew this was as far as Logan went, and he was grateful.
“I’m moving in with you,” Logan said when he pulled back from Virgil.
“What?”
“You heard me. From now on, the rent is both of ours. I can’t stand to see you living like this.”
Virgil didn’t argue and instead gave Logan a smile. “Thanks. Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it, Virgil,” Logan said, then wrapped him in his arms again. A few seconds passed and Virgil knew he had to say it again. One more time.
“I love you,” he sighed softly, sounding frustrated, despaired, and exhausted all at once. He could almost feel Logan smile into his shoulder.
“I love you too, Virge.”
And there wasn’t much else to say as the two stayed, embraced by one another for the rest of the night and they fell asleep there together.