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The noise in the Grey Area is at a subtle din, loud enough to be considered annoying but Saïx does nothing to quell the rambunctious noise. Appearing ambivalent to the sounds, he keeps his back turned away from the window, posing in such a way that one would assume he’s looking out at the ever present night of their world. His eyes don’t see what’s outside though - they are busy staring at the reflection bouncing off the glass of one of the leading members of their Organization. He can stare openly like this, unbeknownst to any of the Nobodies.
His eyes are drawn to the three individuals taking up residence on one of the couches, his eyes going to the person that sits in the middle. Spiky red hair, just as ostentatious as it had been when the two of them had been humans in Radiant Garden, sets him apart from the two that sit on either side of him. The two that flank him are both petite, almost the same height - the blond a little taller than the brunette on his left. The three are looking at something on the redhead’s lap, a magazine that had been picked up out on a mission, with a fourth Organization member leaning over the back of the couch to peer at the contents of the opened magazine.
Between the two petite Nobodies, the man in the middle appears almost giant-like. The three have become as thick as thieves over the course of the last few weeks, and Saïx isn’t sure when the change happened. One minute, the two smaller Nobodies were catatonic, and the next, they were hanging all over the redhead who was more than willing to be the center of attention with them. Saïx doesn’t care about the two of them, not in the slightest. They have a purpose to serve to their Organization, per the Superior’s wishes, and he will make sure that they are utilized to their fullest extent. The redhead, though, he’s one that he wishes he could let go of in the same manner that had been done to him.
Emerald eyes glance up and meet his in the reflection, Saïx quick to focus his eyes on another part of the room - the small Moogle by the wall, the incessant noise coming from the sitar on Demyx’ lap. But he is not quick enough - the microseconds that the two hold a gaze is enough to send his thoughts into a spin, his stomach twisting in knots. That feeling disappears when a portal opens nearby, Xemnas walking out with a bored look on his face.
“Good evening, Superior.” He bows his head towards Xemnas, surprised to see him in the Grey Area. The room has grown quiet, the din from before nonexistent. “What brings you down here this evening?”
“I was hoping to go over some of the missions that I’ve got planned for tomorrow, and wanted your input on them before giving them over to you.” Xemnas opens another portal. “Shall we?”
His eyes go back to the window, and sees the emerald eyes that had looked into his staring at him with a look he isn’t sure what it means. So long ago he had known each of the redhead’s looks, but now he was like a different person. He doesn’t break away from the eye contact, this time keeping the redhead’s gaze as he walks towards the portal. At the last second, he turns his head to the side and looks at Axel, who stares back at him with that same unfamiliar look in his eyes, the pain returning tenfold to his stomach as he heads into the Corridor of Darkness.
The meeting with Xemnas doesn’t take very long - the plans that he’s come up with seem to align with how Saïx believes they should go. With tomorrow’s assignments in his hands, he takes his leave by using the door, heading to his quarters for the remainder of the evening. He sees no point in returning to the Grey Area - the members of the Organization that are still there are no doubt enjoying their time with him away. He knows he’s unliked amongst the group, but it doesn’t matter to him - he isn’t here to make friends. He only needs one friend, but it would appear that that one friend had a different agenda for himself.
Setting the missions down for the following day, he goes and sits on the edge of his bed, head hanging as he replays what he’d seen just a little bit ago in the Grey Area. He becomes lost in his thoughts, not hearing the sound of a portal opening up in his room. When a hand touches his shoulder, he jerks back with a gasp, eyes coming into contact with the same pair of eyes he’d been thinking about moments before.
“What are you doing in here?” He asks, his voice more steely than he intends to be, the shock of seeing Axel standing in front of him doing a number on his nerves. “I thought you’d still be in the Grey Area with your entourage.”
“Don’t give me shit.” Axel removes his hand from his shoulder, the look on his face softening. “I didn’t think you’d be back yet.”
“So, what? You came to my room in the hopes that I wouldn’t be here to do what? Fill my pillowcase with shaving cream? Fix the sheets on my bed so that they are the wrong way?” The more he speaks, the more riled up he becomes. “I don’t appreciate you being here right now.”
“Damn it.” The redhead shakes his head, staring at him as he crosses his arms over his chest, standing in a similar fashion as to how he normally stands in the Grey Area. “What is wrong with you, Isa?”
Behind closed doors - that’s the only time when they refer to each other by their human names. The one constant that remains between the two of them, when the rest of their existence seems to be fraught with change. “Nothing is wrong with me. What are you doing in here, if you didn’t expect me to be here?”
“I was going to wait for you.” Axel huffs out, taking a seat next to him on the bed.
Images of the two begin to swirl in his mind - images of them tangled beneath a blanket, moans filling his ears; phantom touches to his body that have been aching for them for so long. Distant memories that keep playing over and over in his mind like a cruel mistress. Saïx closes his eyes, hoping to take away the memories, but the nearness of the redhead seems to only increase the intensity, taking him back to a time when things were much simpler for the both of them. With a soft sigh, he turns towards him. “Why? Why were you going to wait for me?”
“I saw you watching me.” Saïx lifts his head, and sees a smirk on the redhead’s face. “What gives? I thought you hated me.”
He balks at the comment, eyes widening as he meets Axel’s emerald eyes. “Why would you think that?”
“Because you have been a prick to me since I’ve gotten closer to both Roxas and Xion.”
It would do no good to deny the claims, as he knows Axel is right. He turns away from him, but doesn’t draw attention to how he can feel the redhead moving closer to him on the bed. “I wish I could say you were wrong, but we both know that that would be a lie. And I cannot lie to you, Lea.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
The words stay on his tongue, as he tries to gather his thoughts. He wants to tell him the truth; how he hates how close he’s become with the two petite Nobodies. How it feels like he’s been replaced by two people, and made it so he can no longer approach the redhead when he wants to. Why them? He thinks, eyes glancing down to the hand that is inching closer to his on the bed, their fingertips coming close to one another. Don’t be with them. He looks up when their fingers touch, his eyes being drawn into Axel’s intense gaze. Choose me.
But the words never come out. He shakes his head, as his pinky hooks with Axel’s, the small touch causing his stomach to roll more. “There is no problem, Lea.”
“You left me first.” The redhead’s voice is a mere whisper, their palms now touching as their hands hold tight to one another. “What did you expect me to do?”
“I didn’t-”
“You did, Isa.”
He closes his eyes, and without thinking, he leans forward to rest his head against Axel’s shoulder. “It was never my intention for it to be that way, Lea.”
“Yeah, well. Could have fooled me.” The raw emotion he can hear in Axel’s voice causes him to grip onto the redhead’s hand a little tighter. “I thought you didn’t care about me anymore.”
“I have never stopped caring about you, Lea.” He whispers, lifting his head to look up at him. “Circumstances…”
“I know. I get it.” Axel nods his head, bringing their joined hands up to his lips to press a soft kiss to the back of his hand. “They aren’t you, Isa. No one can ever be who you are to me.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Of course.” The two stand up from the bed together, and embrace one another like they used to, back during their days in Radiant Garden. “You will always be the one that matters the most to me. No matter what my attitude may seem like when I’m with Roxas and Xion. You will always be ahead of them. No matter what.”
The relief that floods through him causes him to act irrationally. One moment he’s holding tight to Axel’s hand, the next their mouths are coming together with a tender kiss. It only lasts a few seconds, but it’s enough to know that the redhead is speaking the truth, and all the words he can’t bring himself to say are told with the touches of his lips. They pull apart, and stare at one another, Axel’s hand cupping his face.
“I miss you, Isa. I miss us.” Axel strokes his thumb over his cheek, their foreheads coming together. “Can’t we go back to how it was?”
His eyelids fall closed, as he takes a deep breath. As much as he wishes they could, his position within the Organization won’t allow him to act in such a manner. “No.” He returns, another soft sigh leaving his throat. “I’m sorry…”
“No, it’s okay. I figured that would be your answer.” Fingers touch his chin, lifting it up to look into emerald eyes. “You are my first priority, Isa. No one will ever come between us. Not Roxas, not Xion, not Xemnas.” His breath hitches at the mention of their superior. “You and I - we’re meant to be in each other’s lives. Let’s get through this madness together.”
He nods his head, returning his lips to Axel’s with another soft kiss. “You will always be the one who has my heart.” He whispers, clinging to his hand.
“Oh, Isa.” Axel looks into his eyes. “We both know we don’t have those anymore.”
It should be a funny statement, but it brings a bout of sadness to Saïx’ mind. Yes, they may not have the same hearts anymore, but the humanity they cling to makes them different from the other Nobodies that roam the realm. He stares into Axel’s eyes and gives a small nod of his head, before the redhead pulls away from him.
“When you’re ready - you know where to find me. If you’re never ready, Isa, I understand.” A portal opens up in his room. “Stare at me all you want, Isa. I do the same to you.” Axel winks, then heads into the oval, leaving Saïx with a smile on his face.
Their mutual understanding makes him feel better than he had earlier in the night. The two petite Nobodies may think they’re close to the redhead, but they will never know him in the same manner that he knows him. The two of them will prevail through this insanity together, one way or another.