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Something is shaking him. Something is shaking him hard, and with a low groan, he lifts his gloved hand to push it away. “Stop.” He mumbles, head throbbing as consciousness slowly begins to return to him. The shaking doesn’t let up, and he growls with frustration latent in his voice. “I said stop.” He gives the hand on his a weak attempt at a shove, a hand closing over his wrist to yank him up off the floor.
“No time for that, ya big baby.” His head snaps up, as he sees someone he doesn’t expect to see standing in front of him, dressed in the uniform that was worn back before the Nobodies arrived. “Don’t pass out on me. We’ve got work to do.” One amber eye is visible, the other covered by an eyepatch. The vertical scar on the left side of his face is still present, and the cocky grin is a mainstay on the man’s face.
“Braig?” His voice sounds foreign in his own ears, his eyes looking down at the black cloak still adorning his body. His eyes go to the bodies laying on the floor - everyone from Radiant Garden that had been in the Organization laid prostrate on the ground. His eyes go to his left, and he sees a shock of blue hair on the floor, his best friend still sound asleep where they had all fallen prior to becoming Nobodies. “What’s going on?”
“Time is of the essence. All the pieces are coming together.” An unfamiliar voice speaks, his eyes going to a person that is walking towards the both of them. In his hand is a weapon he recognizes, his stomach lurching as he realizes what’s coming. “Braig.”
One eye turns towards him. “Guess I’ll be seeing you soon.” A wide grin is on the man’s face, the tip of the keyblade piercing his heart. He disappears from existence, leaving him alone.
“Your turn.” Amber eyes turn towards him, the keyblade coming up towards his chest. “This won’t hurt. Much.”
His heart aches, as his eyes go to azure hair, his hands curling into fists at his side. “Pain doesn’t bother me. I’m used to it by now.” The tip of the keyblade pushes into him, his eyes staying locked onto Isa’s sleeping form, as he feels the keyblade doing its job of unlocking his heart, turning him into how he was prior to waking up again.
“See you in a little while, Axel.” The voice reaches his ears, as his body starts to disappear. He doesn’t have the heart to tell the man his name isn’t Axel, but then - after what’s been done to him for the second time, the name feels more appropriate. His eyes stay on Isa’s form, until everything becomes dim around him. Goodbye, Isa.
***
White surrounds him, his head throbbing for the second time, thankful that no one is shaking him this go around. Looking up, he sees he’s back in the Round Room, each chair in the same position that they had been prior to the keyblade wielder coming to their castle to destroy Kingdom Hearts.
“Look who’s finally awake.” Slowly lifting himself up, he sees Xigbar standing nearby, no longer wearing the guard clothes of Radiant Garden, but instead the black cloak of the Organization. “Nice of you to join us again, Flamesilocks.”
Like I had a choice. “Who else is here?” He asks, rubbing his eyes, trying to get his equilibrium under control.
“Miss me, murderer?” Feminine fingers touch his arm, amber eyes staring up at him as he takes in the female’s appearance. “I’m still mad at you for what you did back in Castle Oblivion.”
Smirking, he grabs her hand and takes it off of his body. “Larxene. Like you didn’t have it coming.”
“Well, when you put it like that.” She laughs, tossing her head back. “That kid was a real piece of work, wasn’t he? Let me guess - we’re going to be going up against him again.”
“As well as the one that had been a copy.” Xigbar nods his head. “That kid is worse than the pipsqueak.”
Axel keeps his thoughts to himself, as he looks around at the others standing with them. “Well, well. I didn’t expect to see the Lord of the Castle to be amongst us as well.” He nods his head towards Marluxia, whose eyes are the same golden color as Larxene’s. “How’ve you been, Marluxia?”
“Ask me again later.” Marluxia walks over to where Larxene is standing, the two of them heading towards the edge of the platform.
He runs a hand through his hair, and hears someone clear their throat. “No offense, but I never took you for one being on the Superior’s list.” Axel’s head turns to the side, as he sees the bleach blond hair of the Gambler standing nearby. “I assumed that it would be-”
“Well, you assumed wrong.” Again, Luxord’s eyes are the same hue as the others, dread filling the pit of his stomach. “Look, what are we doing here? Reminiscing about old times? Who gives a shit.”
Xigbar’s guffaw silences the conversations happening. “I knew you’d be the right one.” Xigbar points up to the seats. “The old coot will be here soon. Then he’ll tell us of the plan, and how the new Organization will be proceeding for the foreseeable future.”
“You mean, until the keyblade masters come and try to do away with us. Again.” Larxene drawls out, anger laced in her words. “I’m tired of that little brat. Spoiling all of our plans.”
Darkness begins to appear in the chairs surrounding them, bringing their count back to twelve, not yet thirteen. Axel follows everyone to their old chairs, the familiarity doing little to calm the nagging feeling he has in the back of his mind.
He doesn’t belong here. Not like this.
***
After listening to the old Xehanort prattle on with the young Xehanort, and the one that calls himself Ansem, all Axel wants to do is go to his old room and collapse for the day. His mind is exhausted, and he doesn’t want to interact with anyone else for the remaining waking hours of the day. Xigbar tries to get him to stick around, but he waves him off and tells him he’ll spend time with everyone in the morning. Luckily, the man had left him alone, giving him the space he needs.
It doesn’t take him long to find his way back to his old room. He has no idea how much time has passed since he’d helped Sora get to the World That Never Was, and finding himself on the floor of the lab in Radiant Garden. Rubbing his eyes, he goes into his bathroom and closes the door, preparing himself for the worst.
Setting his gloved hands on the counter, he lifts his head up slow to look at himself in the mirror. The vivid green that they once were is no longer present, his irises the same golden hue as the other members of this ‘new’ Organization. Tears begin to trickle from the corners of his eyes, sliding down his cheeks, the purple upside down triangles etched onto his face like they had never left his body. The rage he feels manifests in a way that he throws back his hand, but before it can land against the mirror, a hand stops him from doing it.
“Don’t.” One eye stares back at him, a grimace on Xigbar’s face. “It’s not worth it.”
“Why.” He snarls, glaring at the Nobody that keeps his hand from following through with the hit. “Why did you do this to me? We both know that I don’t belong here. It should be-”
“No.”
“Don’t say that!” He shouts, glaring at the man with the same color eye as himself. “This was a mistake!”
Xigbar lets go of his hand, keeping his eye on him. “You know why you’re here. What your power is. What it will do for us.”
“He could control the Berserkers!” Axel seethes, losing the will to keep fighting. He drops to his knees, releasing an animalistic cry that bounces off the tiled walls of his bathroom. “You fucking asshole.” He sobs, shoulders slumping as he glares up at the man who has a look of pity on his face. “I’m not going to help him. I tried to destroy you!”
“Well, congrats. It worked.” The smirk returns to Xigbar’s face, as he stands in front of him. “We all died. Then we came back. And died again. Get used to it. The old coot wanted you. Not him.”
Sobbing, he shakes his head, gripping his hands in front of him, wishing to end this nightmare. “You could have said something. We both know that you would prefer that he were here.”
“I don’t give a shit who is part of this new crew. All I care about is we get what we want. That’s it.” Xigbar turns around, and starts to head out of his bathroom. “You’ll feel better tomorrow, once the shock leaves your body. Don’t do anything stupid, Axel.”
The sound of his door closing makes him wail, fingers grabbing onto his hair as he tugs roughly. The pain that shoots through his body is better than the ache that he feels in his chest. Being stuck here with the ones he’d successfully gotten rid of - this must be his own personal hell. He never returned to his human body - he was stuck in purgatory. That had to be it. There was no other explanation.
It’s going to be a long night.
***
A week passes, and each day he grows into his role a little bit more. Being the bad guy isn’t as bad as he remembers it being, but each time they meet in the Round Room, he looks over at the chair that had belonged to the one he knows should be here instead of him. There’s a small part of him that is glad that he was brought back into this fold, and not Isa. It means that his best friend could get out of this mess, the mess they’d both found themselves in years ago.
With that thought in mind, he embraces his newly reaquired powers, living life to his fullest. It isn’t until he crosses paths with the keyblade wielder - Riku - that he begins to realize that he’s in deeper than he thought he was. Watching the scenes play out from high above in the Castle That Never Was, he sees him fighting to get to his friend, who they had secured and was slowly sinking into the Darkness, just as Xehanort had hoped he would to be the final piece in their new Organization.
He knows he’s supposed to be in the Round Room, where they’re to gather in preparation, the window that sinks up to the past coming to fruition soon. Something tugs on his physical form, and recognizing the call he’s unable to stop himself from materializing back in the Round Room, his hood up.
The King swoops in to grab their slumbering keyblade wielder, the mouse holding out his golden keyblade to protect the kid he’d given up his Nobody life for. Riku disappears with the King, taking away their last puzzle piece, but Xehanort doesn’t seem too upset by the fact that their supposed final piece has just left their world. He would argue with him, but Xigbar is already yelling, the old man wearing a smirk on his face as he begins to disappear again.
It had struck a chord within him, seeing Sora again - more so than he thought it would. To come face to face with the person who you had helped, and find yourself back on the side that he’s fighting against, it made him a little perturbed. At least Isa hadn’t joined the fight - a small victory in his eyes.
A knock on his bedroom door has him raises up his defenses. “Yeah?”
“Just wanted to see how you were doing.” Xigbar pokes his head in through the crack of the opened door. “I know it was kind of a mess tonight.”
“You think?” He drops down onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling as he tucks both hands underneath the back of his head. “I thought Xehanort had a plan. What gives?”
“He saw a few different outcomes for this evening. This one happened to be the one he thought would be the most likely to happen. We still have a plan.”
Axel sighs a little. “I know. Don’t worry - if you came to see if I was going to disappear again, I’m not. I know why I’m here now.”
“Good. Glad to hear it. Take tomorrow off. Boss’ orders.”
“Thanks.”
The door closes, leaving him alone with his thoughts. If he’s off tomorrow, with no obligations, he knows where he has to go. He can’t put it off any longer - not if the keyblade wielders know they exist now.
It’s time to pay a visit to an old friend.
***
Axel has visited Radiant Garden a few different times since returning to his Nobody form, but has never made his presence known. Seeing Isa with Ienzo and Even, he knows he has no right to disrupt their newfound camaraderie. Axel tracks his movements, easy to see his former best friend, the azure hair now pulled up in a ponytail a dead giveaway. He looks happy, and that solidifies his resolve for staying hidden, because he knows that if he shares with him what has happened, that happiness will be taken away. But now that the keyblade wielders have come into the fray, he has no choice but to disrupt that happiness.
He sees Isa walking from the castle back towards his home, the sun having set a few hours ago. As he approaches a house near the old center of town, Maleficent having done a number on their homeworld years before, Axel keeps to the shadows until the last moment, as Isa is about to step into his new home. The hood of his cloak is on, his stomach in knots as he takes a step out of the darkness to show himself.
“Isa.” His friend turns around so fast, he takes a step back, holding his hands up in front of him. “I’m not here to harm you.”
“Lea…?” The confusion he hears in his friend’s voice triples the knots in his stomach. “Lea, is that you?”
“Not exactly.” It hurts to say that, as he sees the look of confusion on Isa’s face. “May I come in? You live alone, right? Ienzo and Even are up at the castle still?”
His friend turns around, and heads into his home. “Yes, they live up there. I’m the only one that lives down here - well, besides Leon, Aerith, Cloud and the rest.”
“I hope you’re not tired.” He follows him through the door, and closes it behind him. He doesn’t remove his hood, keeping his arms crossed over his chest. “I came here tonight because there’s something you need to know.”
“Lea, what’s going on?” Isa stares at him, a look of concern on his face. He takes in his features - no scar left on his face, his eyes back to their beautiful blue hue. “I’ve looked everywhere for you. Where have you been?”
He points to the chair, and as Isa takes a seat, he takes one across from him. “Have you? That’s surprising.”
“How can you say that?” Blue eyes that make his palms perspire penetrate his gaze. “Do you think I’m some asshole? When I woke up in the laboratory, you were the first person I thought of. The first person I questioned where they were at. Not anyone else. You, Lea.”
It makes him feel a little better, hearing that his friend had been so concerned for his well being. “I should have been there with you.” He tries to keep the emotion out of his voice, but it’s difficult. Boy, is it difficult when he sees the way Isa looks at him. He can feel the relief in his gaze, how happy he must be to know that he’s safe. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be. You have to know, it isn’t what I had hoped would happen.”
“Why aren’t you taking off your hood?” Isa leans towards him. “Lea, why haven’t you removed your hood yet?”
Sighing, he sits back in the chair, almost tipping it backwards by how fast he changes his position. “You have to understand, it’s not as bad as you might think it is. I had to come here tonight because of what happened yesterday with Sora and Riku.”
“Are they okay? Did they get hurt? I had heard through whispers that they were taking their Mark of Mastery exam. Something didn’t happen to them, did it?”
The concern he hears in his best friend’s voice makes him feel at peace, further solidifying his belief that it’s better he’s in the position that he’s in, giving Isa the chance he might not ever had had. “They’re fine, as far as I know. Sora was a little...sleepy. But, Riku and the King came and fixed him right up.”
“Wait.” Isa holds up his hand, getting up off of his chair. “What does that mean? How do you know these things? Are you working with the King too?”
Two hands touch the fabric of his hood, Axel keeping still. He doesn’t fight it - he knows it’s inevitable that Isa will see what he’s become, the path that was forcefully thrust upon him, instead of the path he had chosen at the end of his life as a Nobody. The fabric moves slowly, his eyes closing as he feels it pushed back off of his head. Once it’s all the way off, he puts both of his hands on the armrests, wanting to appear as non threatening as possible to his former best friend.
He lifts his head, and opens his eyes. The gasp he hears makes it feel like he has lead in his stomach, his fingers curling tight onto the armrests. “I had no choice. Xehanort did this to me. I was woken up by Braig, and I watched him die again, a keyblade being pushed into his chest. The same keyblade pierced my chest, turning me into what you see before you.” His voice cracks near the end, the utter heartbreak he feels manifesting when he sees Isa drop to his knees in front of him, the look of absolute horror on his face making it ten times worse.
“No…” Isa shakes his head, his hands now on Axel’s knees. “No, Lea. No, this can’t be.” He can see Isa’s fingers trembling, as they reach up to touch his face.
Leaning forward, the fingertips touch his cheeks, going to the corner of his eyes. “My name isn’t Lea anymore. It’s Axel.”
“You will always be Lea to me, Nobody or not.” Isa brushes his thumb over his cheek, Axel’s eyes falling closed at the gentle touch. “You weren’t meant to be like this. It should have been me.”
His lips touch the center of Isa’s palm, as he shakes his head. “No, it was supposed to be me. I’m the one that got us in this mess to begin with. Seems appropriate that we are now on opposite sides of this battle.” He slides off his chair, and soon finds his arms around Isa’s body, the two clinging to each other as if their lives depended upon it. “I’m so sorry, Isa…” He whispers into his ear, sniffling softly as he clings to the one person that means more to him than life itself.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Lea.” Isa hugs him back, just as tight. “Gaia, I’m so sorry that this happened...It should have been me.”
“Don’t say that.” He pulls back, and stares into his blue irises, happy to see them again after so much time without. “You deserve to be like this, Isa. I don’t. I did a lot of bad things when we were Nobodies, and now I have to see that through to the end.”
“I won’t let you die, Lea.”
“You may not have a choice.” A weak smile appears on his lips, as he tries to offer his former best friend a smile, but the weight of both of their words makes it very difficult to do so. He knows that when this mess is done, the two of them will no doubt be facing off against one another in a do or die situation. And he knows that he will never end Isa’s life, so the logical choice would be for his own existence to end.
The two don’t say anything for a bit, Isa’s hands still touching his face as they look into each other’s eyes. He wonders if the amber bothers Isa, like it had bothered seeing it in Saïx’ eyes. His eyes were meant to be their natural color, not the shade given to him by Xehanort. Isa’s eyes now are the epitome of perfection, Axel hoping that he’s not making his best friend sad by his own appearance.
“You’re not upset, are you?” His lips graze the center of Isa’s palm, old habits returning as he keeps his eyes on his. “I don’t want you to be sad, Isa.”
“How can I not be?” The response is a whisper, Axel turning his head to rest his cheek against Isa’ hand. “Your eyes, Lea…”
“I know. They’re horrible, aren’t they?” He smirks, happy to hear the choked off sob that leaves his friend’s voice, a cross between a laugh and the utter sound of despair. “Amber looks horrible with my red hair.”
“Idiot.” Isa leans forward, and presses their foreheads together, their free hands coming together. “I don’t want to have to fight you.”
“I don’t want it either, but that crazy man is probably going to make that a reality.” He whispers, lips hovering close to Isa’s. “We may be enemies to the others, but to each other, we know who we are.”
“Who are we?” Hot breath touches his lips, their bodies moving closer together on instinct. “Lea, who are we?”
“We’re soulmates.” Axel presses his lips against Isa’s with a soft kiss, that is quick to turn into a more heated kiss. It had been so long since the two of them had engaged in any sort of touch like this, that it feels like he’s coming home. The touch of Isa’s lips molded against his, their tongues touching with inquisitive touches - it’s exactly what he’s been missing since returning to this body of his.
It doesn’t take them long before they’ve made it to the bed, bodies becoming familiar with one another in a way that they haven’t been in quite some time. It feels good, to be like this with the one person that means everything to him. Even if they’re on opposite sides now, they will always have this connection that cannot be taken away from them.
As they lay in Isa’s bed post coitus, Axel holds Isa in his arms. “I like your hair like this.” He rubs his nose against the loose ponytail, humming a little as he feels Isa’s cheek against his chest grow warm. “You look very nice.”
“Yeah, well - I finally took your advice, and pulled it up to be off of my back.” Isa turns to look up at him, his fingers touching his cheek. “I still can’t get used to your eyes. Lea, if we-”
“It’s going to be okay, Isa.” He shakes his head, not wanting to hear him say anything further on the subject. “Let’s just enjoy this right now.”
“You’re going to go back soon, aren’t you?”
“I have to.” Axel lowers his head, pressing another kiss to Isa’s lips. “I’m not sure when I’ll be able to see you again.”
“Promise me, if we do meet in battle, that you will give me a fair fight?”
The weight in his stomach returns at the request, his eyes closing as he leans forward. “I’m not sure I can make that promise, Isa.”
“Try, Lea. For me? I don’t want our fight to the death to be one-sided.”
He nods his head. “Fine. You have my word, it will be a fair fight.”
“Thank you.” Isa cups his cheek. “Now, can we get back to what we were doing before, or do you have to go now?”
“I don’t have to leave just yet.” He rolls to lay on top of him, settling between Isa’s legs. “Are you saying you want more of this?” He prods him with the tip of his arousal, blue eyes lighting up with desire as he teases him more. “Is that a yes?”
“It is.”
“Then who am I to say no?” Axel lowers his head, and kisses him hard, conceding to his desire for his best friend.
***
His chakrams return to his hands, as he stares at his best friend, the keyblade master and the keyblade wielder off in the distance, battling other members of the new Organization. He glares at Isa, who is standing in front of him, his claymore resting against his shoulder.
“I don’t want to do this!” Isa shouts at him, the battles raging nearby. “Don’t make me do this, Lea!”
Panting hard, he grins. “You said you wanted a fair fight. Well, this is what you get.” He groans, the wound on his side bleeding out. “This was the only way.”
“I don’t want you to die!”
Coughing, he starts to falter, his knees giving out on him as he falls to the ground. “Looks like you made the right choice, Isa.” His chakrams disappear, as he begins to feel life fading away a fourth time.
“What can I do?” Isa’s at his side now, his hand holding onto his, Axel’s grip loose. “Tell me, Lea.”
He looks up at him, and gives him a weak smile. “Kill Xehanort. Make him hurt. Fuck that asshole. Not literally.”
“You idiot.” Isa laughs through the tears, the two clinging to one another. “I promise he’ll pay for this, Lea. You won’t die in vain. Not this time.”
“Funny.” He turns his head to look up at the darkened sky. “I never thought of it like that.” His breathing starts to become more labored. “Guess we’ll see what happens, huh? Maybe we’ll meet again.”
“We’d better. I can’t live my life without you, Lea.”
It makes him happy to hear that. “I’m glad it was me, Isa. You deserved this happiness, more than I did. Never forget that. And never forget that I love you.”
“I love you too.” The hand on his grips him tighter. “Please don’t die on me!”
He tries to make the words come, but the effort it takes to hold onto Isa’s hand becomes too much. With a final exhale, he fades from existence once more.
***
“Hey, do you know where I can find-”
“Shh! You’ll wake him up!”
Groaning, Axel rouses, his mouth feeling like he’s swallowed a hundred cotton balls. He coughs weakly, and feels something cold against his lips. “Drink.” He doesn’t fight it, and instead swallows whatever is poured down his throat.
He blinks a few times, and sees a pair of blue eyes looking down at him, a relieved look on the person’s face. “You asshole. Who gave you the right to do that.”
“Do what?” He coughs, clearing his throat as he feels the elixir he’s just been fed coursing through his system. “Take an elixir without complaining? Because my goodness, they taste horrible.”
“He means he didn’t want you to die!” A voice he recognizes makes him turn his head, looking at the brunet keyblade wielder. “Hi, Lea! Glad we were able to find you again, after all the fighting!”
“Lea…?” Axel shakes his head. “You’ve got it wrong, pipsqueak. I’m Axel.”
“Not anymore.” Isa holds up a mirror. “Look.”
He peers at his reflection, and almost has a heart attack by what he sees there. Emerald stares back at him, the golden irises gone forever. “H-How…?”
“We defeated Xehanort, and all of the members of the Organization.” Riku replies, standing near Sora. “Isa insisted we look for you after the final battle. And here you are. Safe and sound.”
“You won?” He asks, staring up at his best friend, who has the biggest smile on his face. “It’s over?”
“We did.” Isa nods. “And now, we’re both whole again, Lea. No more Heartless and Nobodies to worry about.”
Smiling, he holds tight to his best friend’s hand. It was the best thing he could have hoped for. The saga with Xenahort is finally over, and now the two of them can get on with their lives, preferably by each other’s side.