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At this point Alec could draw Jia's office by heart without missing a single detail. In the past few months he's been here – or he has seen this room through the magic connection she sometimes uses to communicate with him – so many times that he might as well not have an office of his own anymore. He spends more than half his time in here anyway. If he had known that being the head of an institute meant this, he would have refused the role when they offered it to him. This is absolutely not what he wanted to do with his life. Still, his parents were never home when they were heads of the institute, so he should have known.
Finally, the office's door opens, putting an end to a forty minutes wait. Alec stands up from the armchair as Jia enters the room. Luckily, she's alone. He really couldn't deal with his father's presence too right now. “Please, keep your seat,” she says smiling. “There's no need for formality.”
It's funny she says that since formality is all that seems to count in this place. If anything, Idris is a formality-based nation, there's hardly anything more to it. He remains seated though because standing in front of her desk as they talk would be highly awkward now. “You were asking for me?” He says, even if both of them know she was.
Jia doesn't lose her smile as she takes position behind her desk and moves aside some papers that were clearly there for her to go through. “Yes. Thank you for coming.”
“I'd like to say that I'm happy to be here,” Alec says, not reciprocating the smile this time either. “But every time I come, something bad happened or is about to.”
Jia sighs more like a mother than a consul, Alec doesn't know which one of her sides he hates the most at the moment. “I know you're angry, but I suggest you to tone it down if you want to keep your position.”
Her tone is not as accusatory as it could be, but Alec doesn't really care. “Have I any chance of keeping it anyway?” He snarls. He's very aware of being the head of the New York institute only because there was no one else to give the position to and that they plan to relieve him from duty as soon as they can find someone to replace him with. He knows what people say behind his back. That he's not suited for the job because he's gay or because he's married to a downworlder or both. And when none of those reasons is enough, he's still the son of a former member of the Circle and the half-brother of a guy who was raised by Valentine and was married to his daughter. No matter what he does, they will never consider him for who he is and what he can really do. So, how does she dare saying that to him?
“I'm trying all I can to give you a chance, Alexander.”
Jia looks sternly at him this time, but her severity has an edge to it. She looks as tired of fighting as he is. Alec realizes that he surely has a lot of enemies, but Jia is not one of them, despite all the shit that she's forced to throw his way. “Sorry,” he eventually gives in with a big sigh. “These past couple of months have been hard.”
“Yeah, well, have you tried being me?” She asks with half a smirk that makes it impossible for him not to chuckle.
“You've got a point,” he admits.
“Actually, I have many but they hardly come across as hard as this one,” she sighs, crossing her hands in front of herself on the desk. “Anyway, I know it's not easy for you and that you're trying to keep yourself, your people and your institute afloat in this sea of madness we're all kinda drowning in, but I believe in you and I know you're strong enough to soldier on a little longer. I need you to hang on tight and just put your personal problems with this government aside for the moment. I swear I'll be your strongest advocate when the time comes, but until then, please, stay on my side, okay?”
Alec might be severely frustrated and angry at everything Jia represents, but he appreciates honesty, especially because there's scarcity of it nowadays. After all, this is all he has ever wanted, straightforwardness and being spoken to with sincerity. As good as he is as a leader, he lacks subtlety and he doesn't deal very well with it in others. “That I can do,” he says, smiling in an attempt to look collaborative.
“Good,” Jia nods with determination. Her eyes wander around the room for a moment, which is never a good sign in Alec's experience. She's clearly delaying something and he's not sure he wants to know what. “If I called you here today it's because I have some news. An official ordinance is going to be issued in the next few days, but I wanted to tell you in person.”
“That sounds ominous, honestly.”
She chuckles, nervously. “It's not, I promise. It just feels like something you shouldn't know through fire-message. Besides, I'm pretty sure that if I had sent you a fire-message, you would have called me anyway, so here we are. Well, we have an official report of our current numbers and they are not good. Actually, they are not even just worrying. They're tragic.”
“I thought we already knew that,” Alec comments. “We were talking about only thousands of people left.”
“Now we know exactly how many thousands,” Jia says, “and they are not nearly enough to even run this country, let alone defend it if something should go wrong with our alliances.”
She remains silent for a moment, letting the news sink in. Alec nods. “I see. Well, all the more reason to try and build a better relationship with the Faeries and the downworlders in general.”
“The Council feels like this is not our priority at the moment.”
“Well, the Council is wrong,” Alec instantly says. “No, Jia, I'm sorry, but it is. The situation with the Faeries is extremely delicate at the moment. And I'm not talking about what we know for sure, but about what we allegedly are not supposed to be aware of, if you know what I mean. Anything could tip them off and it would be a disaster of epic proportions. We should try and prevent something from happening for once, instead of ignoring the facts and then complaining that we are on the verge of war later. We know that this is going to happen if we don't do something now.”
“They don't even have a leader at the moment,” she points out.
“It might not be so hard for them to find one,” he says.
“Do you know something we don't, Alec?” Jia asks.
Alec remains silent for a while and then he sighs. “Not yet,” he admits. “But it just seems logical, don't you think? We don't know much about the Faeries and we don't understand half of what we know. Does it seem a people we want to make assumptions on to you?”
“No,” Jia finally gives in, sighing. “But the Council has its priorities and I can't disregard them. If I could, Helen would be back and so would my daughter, don't you think?”
Jia has personal reasons to try and change the Nephilim's perception of the Faeries and to change the way they are treated right now, so it's not like she doesn't want to work towards that goal, she simply can't. Alec just doesn't understand how she can go on without doing anything about it. He knows that if one of his relatives or friends were in Aline's place, he would kick up a fuss over it. But then again, she's the Consul. “Can't we just do both? Re-build a relationship with the Faeries and build up our numbers?”
She smiles motherly again. “Let's start with doing what the Council wants. It's going to be easy to bring them to do what we both want afterwards, don't you think?”
Alec knows this is the only victory he can achieve on the subject today, so he takes it. “Fine. So, what are the Council's plans?”
“We are asking all the married couples – or, well, couples in general –, especially the young ones, to help their Nation and make our numbers grow.”
“You're asking people... for babies?”
“To start a family, to help repopulate Idris, to give back what has been taken from us,” Jia answers in the same words, Alec is sure, he will find written on the official ordinance. “But yes, we're basically asking for babies.”
Alec can't suppress a little nervous chuckle. “I can't say I agree with the whole birthrate-boosting idea, but even if, I cannot help,” he says, and it's really really hard to keep himself from laughing. “I'm gay and I run an institute that is mostly empty except for my parabatai, who's, let's say, experimenting at the moment. Or, if anything, he's still mourning his dead wife, mother of his only son. Not exactly the right moment to go and ask him to take another wife, don't you think?”
Jia has the decency to look at least ashamed this time, but that doesn't stop her. “But your sister, she's still a viable option.”
Alec's eyes get darker as his whole body tense. “My sister chose another path for herself and I won't bother her with this.”
After they lost Simon, Isabelle shut down completely. She never really got over the unfairness of him losing his memories and going back to be the mundane he was to begin with; and it was indeed unfair. She decided that she was not going to find someone else because, unlike him, she remembered everything and she couldn't think of going on with her life knowing he was there somewhere, totally oblivious to what had been between them. Still, she loved being a Shadowhunter too much and she was all too fierce to give up on life completely – surely not Isabelle – so she did the only thing she could, wanting to keep herself away from everybody and yet keep working for the Nephilim. She went to the Adamant Citadel and started her training to become an Iron Sister.
It's been months since Alec spoke to her – since the day she left – and even if knowing that he never will again is extremely painful, he also knows she's well and she's as happy as she could hope to be at this point. He will not jeopardize what little peace she has found.
“I understand your sister's suffering and, under any other circumstances, I would agree that her choice should not be questioned, but this is an extraordinary situation, Alec. And she's still young, she could still pursue her novitiate later.”
“After giving birth, you mean.”
“After serving the cause,” Jia corrects him, patiently. “Listen, I'm not saying anything. This is just a possibility that could be taken into consideration, that's all.”
“Even if I wanted to, you know I couldn't speak to her,” Alec points out. “It is against the sisters' rules.”
“As far as I know, she's still a novice and there are always ways to bend the rules,” Jia insists. “ I know she would listen to you more than she would listen to the Council, in case it came down to that.”
“Would the Council really force her?”
“Not if it is not necessary,” Jia sighs, shaking her head. “Let's just hope it doesn't need to come to that.”
“Oh, it won't,” Alec says. They will have to pass over his dead body to get to Isabelle for that.
“It might not seem a good idea to start a family in these uncertain times, I know. But we lost so many of us, and this is the only way we can go back to where we were before,” Jia says gently.
“We certainly need babies, but we will also need weapons to defend them while they grow up and become adult and active members of our society. Or are we expecting to make babies that grow overnight?” Alec comments. “So, you see, someone will have to keep making weapons. My sister might be of better service where she is.”
It's Jia's turn to take what victory she can. “You are right.”
“Is there anything else?” Alec asks, and he swears on the Angel, he was ready to leave half an hour ago. This whole summoning was completely pointless.
“As a matter of fact, there is,” Jia nods. “Obviously we are aware that just us starting families will not solve our problem, both because the families that currently remain are not enough, alone, to make a difference in numbers and because the new babies will need time to grow, as you said. So, we are making arrangement to find mundane kids, aged six to thirteen, that can be ready to ascend starting from the next couple of years.”
“We're stealing children, now?”
“We're going to take them away from orphanages all over the world,” Jia explains. “Some of them will be adopted by Shadowhunters families, a considerable number of them will go straight to the Academy, but the biggest part of them will be divided among the institutes, yours included of course.”
“Wait, how many kids are we talking about?”
“We calculated that each institute will be asked to shelter, raise and train up to twenty kids, maybe more since many of the minor institutes had to be closed down for the moment as we are understaffed. This for the first year, of course, but the program will go on several more years, with approximately twenty to thirty new kids per institute every year, as only a fraction of them will be able to ascend.”
“What?” The news is so unexpected that what little ability to talk properly to the Consul he had vanishes completely. “Jia, how am I supposed to prepare twenty plus mundane kids to ascend when I'm basically alone in that institute?”
“You and your siblings were trained the same way by your parents, Alec.”
“We were three!” Alec protests. “Four, if you count Max, who was, like, five or six at the time. We're talking huge classes here. I can't possibly run the institute, train them and teach them theory all at the same time.”
“The Council is aware that, given the meager number of suitable teachers, these children's training will not be as thorough as it could be, so I wouldn't worry about that, Alec. You're asked to do the best you can, here.”
Alec shakes his head. “No, I'm being asked to make a mess and probably ruin a lot of kids' lives,” he corrects her. “You do realize that if they are not trained properly, they are going to die, don't you?”
Her expression remains encouraging, even though Alec is under the impression that all she's doing is reiterating the idea that whatever he has to say doesn't matter at all. “I have every confidence in you,” she says. “Besides, you are not alone. I'm sure Jace won't turn his back to you or the institute this time. And Magnus will be as helpful as ever.”
Alec frowns. He doubts Jace will be around the institute at all, but that's irrelevant at this point. “And the Council is okay with a downworlder teaching the potential members of our glorious race?” He asks, ironically.
“What the Council didn't take into consideration and it is, therefore, ignoring can't hurt it, can it?” Jia comments. “As per the Council's order, mundane kids will be entrusted to every institute still running, which includes yours. How the kids will be trained is up to you. I suggest you to take advantage of every resource at your disposal as that certainly would be the right way to serve Council and Country, don't you think?”
Alec understands that he can't oppose to this madness, but he can very well take another small victory from it, and so he does. Letting Magnus teach classes at the institute will be another step towards the future Alec would like for his people. Having a warlock teacher could make the new generation more tolerant and open, inclusive and rational. Together he and Magnus could make sure these kids don't make the same mistakes the old generation did. This is the only sense of duty that can actually force him to accept such a burden. He will not do this because the priority is to raise their numbers. He will do this because it's a way – actually one of the best ways – to change the system from within.
In fact, the news is suddenly not even half as bad as it could be, despite the tragic amount of work that is ahead of him. “Alright, I'll wait for the formal announcement and, I guess, some more specific guidelines?”
“Further instructions will be given as soon as we make the arrangements.”
Alec nods. “If that's all, I'd like to take my leave.”
As he closes the door of Jia's office, he finds himself smiling despite himself.
There is hope, at last, to take one step in the right direction.
*
Alec is ready to go home in a good mood for once, but his mother clearly has other plans for him because she intercepts him in the hall before he can be anywhere near a portal to New York. In her defense, she really tries to smile to look less stuck-up, but she's not really feeling it – she's never really been a smiling woman – and so her happiness ends up looking fake. “Alexander, I heard you were in Idris.”
“I was summoned by the Consul,” he says, no more than the bare essentials.
“Concerning what?” She asks, casually. Except that his mother has never done anything casually in her life, so she must either know what the summoning was about and she wants to discuss it with him or she doesn't know what it was about and she wants to know.
“Stuff,” he answers, vaguely. “Nothing to worry about. Is there something you wanted to tell me?”
“Actually, yes. It's nice to find you here as I've been meaning to call you,” she says, and then she leads the way down the hall, towards one of the many empty offices. “Come, let's sit down for a moment.”
Alec thinks about declining, but he knows that refusing to talk to her will start a discussion, they will end up fighting and his return to New York will be further delayed. So, he follows her inside, but he doesn't sit down, so neither does she. “Is something wrong at home?” He asks.
She's currently living alone, this is why she spends most of her time at the Gard, even if she's ultimately not needed here. The fact that, despite the dire situation the Nation is in, the Council is still not trusting her completely is not making her life any easier. Alec would feel sorry for her, but she's not exactly the kind of woman – or mother – who inspires that kind of feeling.
“No, no, everything's fine,” she nods. “Actually, I was just worried for you.”
“I'm fine,” Alec answers. “You have nothing to worry about.”
She rests against the desk, sighing. “Your father and I have been talking,” she starts, finally letting out what she's clearly been wanting to talk about since she stopped him in the hall. “We know that you take your role as head of the New York Institute ad interim very seriously and we can see that you are doing a marvelous job at it with very little to go by, but maybe you have too much on your plate right now.”
He frowns. “I honestly don't know what you are talking about,” he says. “There's a lot of work to do at the Institute, but I have everything under control. Anyway, when there's something wrong, I should discuss it, and I am discussing it, with the Consul.”
“Of course,” his mother nods. “Of course, I know you have everything under control. All the more reason for you to focus exclusively on your work and not have to worry about other things. Jace, for example.”
Alec frowns. “My brother is fine,” he lies. He can totally be angry a Jace, but he won't let anybody else speak badly about him.
“He refuses to come to Idris unless he is officially summoned, he disappears for days at a time and he hangs out with Sebastian Morgenstern,” she insists. “This is far from fine, Alexander. He lost control and he needs help.”
Losing control doesn't even begin to describe the situation his parabatai is currently in, but he would kill himself before giving anything away to his mother. “His wife just died,” he says, frowning. “Cut him some slack, would you?”
His mother sighs again and closes her eyes for a moment. “Alright,” she concedes. “You're right, he's suffering, I understand that. But he's got responsibilities. He's got a son, now. Tommy lost his mother too and this is a very delicate moment for him.”
“Thomas is fine,” Alec says, and he sounds like a broken record to his own ears. Everything is fine, fine, fine, except that it's not. But he doesn't want her to interfere. He feels like he needs to protect his people and, for some reason, now that doesn't include her anymore. “He's safe, he's healthy and he's growing up real fast.”
“Well, not thanks to his father!” Maryse says. “He should be the one taking care of the child, but he's not. You're doing his job for him.”
Alec looks at her in disbelief. “Tommy is not a job! He is my nephew!” He says, frowning. “And he's my parabatai's son. I don't mind taking care of him.”
She obviously didn't think he was going to react so heatedly, because the look on her face immediately changes and becomes softer. “I didn't mean it that way,” she explains. “I know that you love the kid. But you have so many other things to think about that it wouldn't hurt if you had some help.”
“We're doing great,” he repeats, sensing, if not knowing, where this is going.
“I could help,” she insists. “Thomas could come live with me in Idris. Only temporarily, of course. At least until Jace gets his life back on track.”
“There's no need for that. The Institute is his home and he's happy there,” Alec answers. “He is not abandoned to himself as you probably picture him.”
“The Institute may not be the most suitable environment for him at the moment,” his mother goes on, quite as if he hadn't spoken at all. “He's very young, he should be with his own people.”
Then it finally hits him. “Oh, you mean there's currently a warlock living there,” he says, looking at her with disappointment, if not utter disgust. He's not really sure he's controlling his own reactions at the moment. “Magnus is your problem, not Jace. You're afraid he could corrupt the kid.”
She looks as if she's about to say that that is not what she means, but she doesn't. “Magnus proved to be a great asset in he past,” she forces herself to say. “But he is not one of us.”
“I don't see how this has to do with anything,” Alec says. “And, for your information, he's still a great asset, even if you refuse to see it. And he's a great uncle too.”
His mother sighs again, in a way he has already seen her sighing several times in the recent past. “As I told you before, I don't judge what you're going through right now, but—“
“Right now?” Alec actually scoffs. “I can't believe you have the nerve to say something like that! Magnus and I got married three years ago, mom. Three years! I thought even you couldn't be so delusional as to still think this is a phase.”
“You are not married,” Maryse says, dismissively. “That was a mundane rite.”
To which you were not present, Alec thinks. “I will tell you something you don't seem to be aware of, mom,” he says, finally losing what little patience he was having with her. “The fact that you don't think it was a real marriage doesn't automatically make it void for us. You don't get to decide these things. You have absolutely no say in this. Magnus is my husband and I love him. That's it. And, for your information, he's better with Tommy than you ever was with any of us.”
She gets instantly tense and assumes the rigid posture Alec has seen growing up. “You have a responsibility, Alexander,” she says, solemnly. “Not only to this Nation, but to this family as well. After what your sister did to us, you—“
“Isabelle was hurting, mom! She did what she did to survive her pain! How can you not see that?”
“She was selfish,” she insists. There's grief in her eyes, still she strongly believes in what she's saying. “And since we still don't know what last name Jace is going to choose, if any, you are the only one who can carry on the family name.”
“Am I breeding stock, now?”
“Would it kill you to put your family before everything else for once, Alexander?”
“I don't know, would it kill you?” he retorts.
She frowns. “That is exactly what I'm trying to do,” she says. “This family is more important to me than anything else.”
He shakes his head, slowly. “No. The family name is more important to you than anything else,” he corrects her. “You don't give a shit about the actual family. Me, Isabelle, Jace, Thomas—we are this family, mom. Not our name. Not our status. Our happiness is what you should be worrying about.”
“You don't understand. Being a Lightwood is more than—“
“If being a Lightwood is being like you or dad,” he interrupts her, “then maybe the name should die with you two.”
Silence falls after his words. His mother looks really hurt for the first time ever and he can't find it in himself to be sorry for what he said. He's tired of her constant disappointment towards him and Isabelle, he's tired of her not listening to them. He loves his family and he's trying to do his best, to be his best, but nothing will ever be enough for his parents if they don't like what he is, the only thing he can't change.
When she speaks again, her voice is not that steady anymore, but she has regained her composure, her signature nothing-can-affect-me look on her face. “This is not over, Alexander.”
He simply turns around and leaves the room at that.
They will see about that.