Chapter Text
Connor wasn’t sure when these feelings for the Lieutenant— Hank, as they were off-duty— had begun. The first memory he had of these strange wants about a month ago, when, while lost in his own thoughts, he discovered the want to be hugged once more by him. He did not know why, but the prospect of him touching Hank— of Hank touching him— made his processor elevate the amount of thirium going to his face.
Connor had found some Playboy magazines in Hank’s room the last time he was allowed in. Curiosity getting the better of him, he briefly looked at the index for one and chose to read an article: ’21 Best Sex Positions for You and Your Partner’. He was intrigued by the way humans attempt to find pleasure, and also, if he was being completely honest with himself and the person reading this, was curious about what it felt like.
He asked Hank about trying it, and the response he got was disappointing: Sex was between lovers, not good friends.
It was after that incident that Connor realized that his curiosity was abnormal. Though he could go to the Eden Club and figure it out that way, as he had no romantic partner to be faithful to, he found that he didn’t want to. That the curiosity was not just what it would feel like, but what it would feel like with Hank.
Those feelings confused Connor to a great extent. The thirium rush to his face while thinking about Hank and the want to have intercourse were signs of a feeling humans called ‘love’, but he didn’t love Hank… did he?
Correction: he hoped he wasn’t in love with Hank. Hank would, obviously, reject him, and the difficulty of working would go up by 43% because of emotional reactions and instability.
So, it was best if he didn’t love Hank. He wasn’t sure if he did or not, but with the evidence stacked against his wishes, he could only hope.
——
The ride to the interrogation room was silent and tense. Hank and Connor didn’t talk about how to pry the information out of Paul, as they should have. They were both afraid Connor would lose his temper. But the silence wasn’t much better.
Hank had offered his hand silently and Connor had taken it. He didn’t want to think about what Paul had done, and the distraction was extremely useful. After all, at the rate he was going he would need to buy some thirium before a reminder came up in his vision every 20 minutes.
Hank had been the first to break the contact, opening his car door and slowly stepping out without looking at Connor. Connor got out as well.
“Well, here we are,” Hank said, standing in front of the large precinct. “You think he’ll be excited to see us?”
“Not in the least,” Connor said, some anger seeping into his voice. Hank noticed.
“Connor, take a deep breath, okay?”
He did so. The action calmed him down, strangely.
They locked eyes.
“Ready, Connor?”
“Whenever you are, Lieutenant.”
Hank nodded and walked forward, the automatic doors opening. Connor followed.
…
Paul sat there, smug-ass look on his face that made both detectives want to punch him, Connor more than Hank. “Well, well, well. Look what decided to show up.”
“Shut your fucking mouth, you scum,” Hank spat for Connor. “You’re facing a first-degree felony with a punishment of up to 99 years in prison and a fine up to 100 thousand dollars. Judging by Judge Fieldstone’s hate for Red Ice dealers and all the lives you’ve ruined, I’d say you’re lookin’ at being in jail for the rest of your life.”
Connor had the urge to match the smugness on Paul’s face.
Hank continued. “Unless, of course, you willingly give us information on the whereabouts of your superior.”
“Like hell I’m helping you and your plastic pet.” Connor glared viciously, but Hank just shrugged.
“That’s fine. See, one of the many benefits of having an android as a partner—“
“Besides the fact that they have the tightest holes you’ll ever fuck,” Paul interjected, making Connor see red warnings all across his vision.
“—Is that they can easily access your electronics. All your calls and text messages found and processed within seconds, with no compromises to the fine or sentence. Without your cooperation, it’ll be easy enough to get a warrant to look through your electronics. So,” Hank rested his hands on the desk separating him from Paul menacingly. “What’ll it be?”
Paul shrugged, though his heart rate was elevated and his pupils were dilated.
“If you wanna find my superior, go to the abandoned Denny’s on Clay Street, next Tuesday. Don’t let your plastic pet get too close, though…” He grinned. “It’ll be difficult to separate them.”
“The hell do you mean by that?”
Paul leaned back in the chair. “I’ve think I’ve told you all you need, and nothing else will be said without my lawyer present. Goodbye.”
They stared at him, and he stared back. Though Hank didn’t like being ordered out, Paul was right. He had all he needed.
“C’mon, Connor, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Hank turned and left, but Connor stayed for a moment.
They stared at each other for a second.
“You disgust me,” Connor hissed. Paul shrugged again, smirking.
“Whatever you say, Malcolm.”
Connor’s LED spun yellow for a second. Malcolm? Was that Paul’s name for him?
The LED went back to blue, and he left the interrogation room. He didn’t want to look at that monster anymore.
…
“I might as well write a report before Jeffery gets on my ass about it,” Hank told Connor, sitting down at the dining room table. It was three in the afternoon, and they had just gotten home. Hank had repeatedly tried to steer them off course to Chicken Feed, but Connor called him out on it until they were at the front door. Sumo had greeted them excitedly, glad they were home so he could be fed.
Connor nodded. “Would you like me to help, Lieutenant?” Hank shook his head.
“Are you kidding? You’ve done a lot today, and the past week. You deserve a break. Watch a movie or read a book or something.”
Connor thought about arguing, but after a bit of thought, he realized there was something that he would like to do.
“Okay, Lieutenant.”
Call Android #684 842 971?
YES NO
Connor selected 'YES'.
Calling Android #684 842 971…
Connor? Is everything okay?
I believe so, but I have a question. May I come over to your and Carl’s house? He asked.
Of course! You are always welcome.
He smiled, a small bit of relief making sigh. Thank you. I’ll be there soon.
Call Disconnecting…
Connor blinks, LED going from yellow to blue as he snapped back to reality. “I’m going to visit Markus, Lieutenant.”
Hank grunted. “Yeah, okay. Tell him I said ‘Hi’.”
“Will do.” Connor left the house and turned on the car with a glance. Maybe Markus could help him with something…
…
“Connor identified. Welcome, friend.”
Carl’s automatic doors opened, and Connor walked into the house.
“Connor, welcome! What brings you to our humble abode?” Carl asks, rolling into the hallway.
“Hello, Carl. I’m looking for Markus.”
He smiled warmly. “He’s in the living room, playing the piano. Would you like some tea?”
“Thank you, but I don’t yet have bio-components allowing me to eat and drink human food yet.”
Carl nodded; he understood how expensive they were. “Alright. If you need anything, I’ll be in my painting studio.”
“Thank you.” Carl left, and Connor slowly approached the living room.
Markus was playing Mozart’s Symphony No. 40 in G minor, KV. 550 perfectly, and it was so beautiful that Connor did not interrupt him. He stood behind Markus for a solid five minutes before his friend stopped and turned around. “Ah. Hello, Connor. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing your reflection on the piano or if my eyes were playing tricks on me.”
“Hello, Markus. How are you?” Connor replied, attempting to make small talk.
“I am well, thank you. Please, sit down.” Markus gestured to the sofa facing the piano, and Connor did as he was told.
“Lieutenant Anderson says hello.”
“Please tell him I say hello as well.” He turned to face Connor. “But you are not here to send messages. Tell me, Connor: what is on your mind?”
Connor’s LED whirred yellow with an occasional spot of red, unsure of how to ask. “Markus…”
He hesitated once more before finally blurting it out. “How did you know you were in love with Simon?”
Markus stared at him, a bit shocked. Connor felt it necessary to explain himself.
“I mean, I believe I might be in love with someone, but… I’m not sure. So I’m wondering what it feels like, so I can know if I really am in love or not. Of course, I’m probably not, but I’d like to know, just in case.”
Markus gave him a small grin. “Well, considering this person has you talking extremely… inefficiently, I’d say there’s a good chance of you harboring romantic feelings for them.”
Connor blushed slightly.
Markus’s grin vanished, and he slowly gained a faraway look in his eyes. “I’m not entirely sure when I knew I was in love with Simon. There was just a day when I realized my feelings for him were different than the ones I had for, say, North and Josh. My heart would skip a beat when he entered a room, heat would rush to my cheeks when he smiled at me, and I always wanted to look at and be near him… I thought about these wants and reactions, and I asked myself if I was in love. If I would die for him, if I would give up everything if he asked me to. And my answer was yes. And I knew I was in love.”
Connor was staring at him intensely, taking in what he was saying. He had many, if not all, of the symptoms Markus described, but... he still denied it. It couldn’t be true. “I… I feel these things, too, but I’m still not sure.”
“You don’t want to believe you are in love?” Markus asked, head tilting slightly.
Connor did not reply.
His friend smiled softly. “Come with me, Connor.”
Markus stood up and walked, and Connor followed him.
~
“Carl, would you mind if we use a canvas of yours?” Carl gave Markus the same soft smile Connor had been given not too long ago.
“Of course not, Markus. Would you too like me to leave?”
“Thank you, but we’ll be fine.” Markus took an 11x14 canvas and put it on an easel, adjusting it so Connor could use it comfortably. He handed Connor an art palette filled with any color he could think of and a paint brush. “Close your eyes.”
Connor did so.
“Think about warmth, and security. About home and safety, a calm sort of happiness. Take these feelings and paint them.”
After a bit of hesitation, Connor slowly dips his brush into a bit of paint and brushed it against the canvas. Twice. He goes for more paint, and gently pushes the brush on the canvas again.
And again.
And again.
In a few minutes, Connor opens his eyes to see Hank smiling at him, an emotion in his eyes that makes Connor’s body temperature subconsciously rise. He glanced at Markus. His arms were crossed, and he was nodding to himself.
They were silent.
“A beautiful picture, Connor,” Carl said, making Connor jump slightly. “It’s obvious that the man is in love. Just look at his eyes! So much powerful emotion hidden behind them.”
“That is exactly what I was thinking.” Markus turns and meets Connor’s gaze. “How does his expression make you feel, Connor?”
Blood rushed once more to Connor’s cheeks.
“I see.” Markus smiles at him once more. “I believe you are in love, Connor.”
Connor looked away. “Are you sure?” Markus’s smile faded a bit.
“Why do you keep doubting?”
“I…” He could feel both of them staring at him. He looked back at the painting. At Hank. “I don’t want to be,” he admitted.
They were silent. Connor felt the need to fill the silence.
“I’m afraid,” he continued. “I-I don’t want him to reject me, which is extremely plausible. I’m afraid of ruining our friendship in hopes of something more.”
“But you are unsatisfied with your current relationship with him.”
“Yes, but—“
Carl stepped into the conversation, cutting Connor off. “When I was thirty, I met the woman of my dreams. She was beautiful and intelligent with a wicked sharp wit. It didn’t take long for me to realize I was in love with her. So, about a month after our meeting, I asked her out on a date. The anxiety I felt was nearly unbearable, but not nearly as unbearable as living without knowing if my love was unrequited. So, take an old man’s advice, Connor. It doesn’t matter if he says yes or no; find out before it starts slowly eating at you until it is all you can think about.”
Connor’s LED was whirring yellow the entire time Carl talked, but it slowly returned to blue. He nodded. “Thank you, Carl. I’ll… I’ll ask him.”
Carl nodded back, the same soft smile appearing on both his and Markus’s face.
Connor faced Markus. “I’ll be heading home now. Thank you for letting me come here.”
“Our home is always welcome to you, Connor.” He smiled back at the two, then turned to leave.
When he was at the automatic door, he stopped and turned. “Carl?”
“Yes, Connor?”
“Did she agree to a date?” Carl grinned slowly.
“Yes, Connor. She did.”