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Kim Seokjin was the worst pirate Jimin had ever seen. The worst.
“Can you believe him?” Jimin poked Taehyung in the side. “Look at him, he’s ridiculous.”
“He’s literally just standing there,” Taehyung said. Taehyung had taken off his shoes and was letting his feet trail in the water, resting in the only shady spot on deck, just behind the large coils of rope.
“Exactly,” Jimin said. “Just standing there with that stupid face and that stupid laugh, being a bad pirate.” Wrapping his arms around his knees, Jimin glared down to where Kim Seokjin, tall and handsome and way too friendly, was leaning on the pier, talking to a middle aged woman. Flirting, probably. “Look how nice he is.”
Taehyung said “I’m nice,” and bumped shoulders with him. “And you like me. You don’t think I’m a bad pirate.”
“You’re the best pirate and I love you more than anything,” Jimin replied without hesitation. Sure, Tae was nice, but he could put on evil and seductive in a heartbeat. Jimin had seen people swoon when Taehyung was at his most pirate-y, and that was a fact. Tae was crafty and sneaky and Seokjin was just...just…silly. Jimin could hear his laugh echoing up from the pier and he shuddered.
“I feel like you’re taking this whole thing too seriously,” Taehyung said, kicking his feet in the water and making little whirlpools. “Just take him out for a drink or something.”
“I’m ignoring that second part.” Jimin leaned forward and watched as Seokjin pretended to be staggering drunk, rolled forward, and popped up for comedic effect. Ugh. “And I’m taking this too seriously? You call Namjoon-hyung ‘Captain’ even when he asks you not to.”
“I’m just giving him the respect he’s due,” Taehyung said, stretching long and lean in the hot sun. “Also I’m man enough to admit when I have a crush.”
Jimin sniffed. “I don’t have a crush on Kim Seokjin.” Jimin curled up tighter and leaned forward, watching. It was a windy day, hard gusts coming in off the waves, carrying the scent of salt and seaweed with them. Seokjin was still on the pier, doing something ridiculous with his arms, and then he looked up, his face in repose for a second, his arms up, and the gust of wind blew his billowy white shirt against his body, outlining the perfect triangle of his torso, the sun shining on his perfect, beautiful face. “He’s probably horribly self-centered.”
“He is,” Taehyung said, “but it’s not horrible. If you just talked to him--”
“Excuse me?” a tiny voice warbled next to them. Jimin turned to see a little girl, maybe five or six years old, holding a dripping ice cream cone and trying not to cry. “I lost my mommy,” she choked out and started to wail, tears running down her face as she dropped the ice cream then sobbed even harder, pointing at the puddle of strawberry goo on the deck.
All thoughts of Kim Seokjin were forgotten. “Oh honey, it’s okay,” Jimin said, pulling wet wipes from his pocket and wiping her face and hands. He’d learned to carry them around with him everywhere. This poor thing, she looked so lost and sad, and her mom must be worried sick. “Don’t you worry, oppa will find your mom and we’ll get a new ice cream, okay? I promise. You just stay with me.” He held out his hand and took her slightly less sticky one in his and led her toward the main office, where hopefully her mother was waiting.
It was just another day on the job at Busan’s newest pirate-themed water park, Arrr-mageddon: Adventure on the High Seas, for Pirate #26, seasonal employee Park Jimin.
…….
By the time Jimin reunited little Eunha with her tearful, frantic mother and had bought her another ice cream (out of his own money) it was the end of his shift. The uniforms at the park were supposed to look like “authentic” pirate clothes, but only if pirates loved synthetic, stain-resistant blends and liked their clothes indecently tight in the ass. (“You look like a gay pirate,” Yoongi had said dismissively. “Well, I am a gay pirate,” Jimin shot back. “So there.”) So Jimin was more than ready to peel himself out of his sweaty, slightly strawberry-scented work clothes, shower, and call it a night. He was fantasizing about how good the shower would feel when Taehyung caught up with him.
Tae tugged on his arm with a big smile on his face and said “Change of plans, Hoseokie hyung is having a party. Come on, let’s go.”
“Taeeeee,” Jimin whined, pulling back from Taehyung, who was still trying to yank him in the opposite direction, toward the other train station that would take them to Hoseok and Yoongi’s apartment. “Kim Taehyung, I’m not going like this. I need a shower.”
“I’ll bring you shots all night and gently and lovingly carry your drunk ass home,” Tae promised. “And I’m still in my work clothes, see? We’ll match, we’re twinsies, pleeeeaaase?”
The problem was that Taehyung could wear anything and make it look like art, but Jimin wasn’t going to get in that argument now. He’d lost as soon as Tae had started begging. Also, he was starting to get suspicious. “Let me guess,” he said, laughing and bumping into Tae. “A certain Kim Namjoon--”
“--the Captain--”
“He’s not a captain of anything and he’s not our boss, he just happens to have the uniform--”
“And he looks so, so hot in it,” Taehyung added dreamily.
“No argument from me,” Jimin said. Kim Namjoon was hot, and kind, and smart, and sincere, and basically met all of Jimin’s incredibly stringent requirements for people who might possibly be good enough to breathe the same air as Kim Taehyung, so Jimin was on board with whatever Tae was planning.
“He always leaves early, that’s what Hoseokie hyung said. He has like, two drinks and leaves early, that’s why we never see him at parties.” Tae fussed with his hair. “Tonight is the night, Jiminie, I feel it.”
Jimin spared one last, longing thought for the shower he could be having, then followed Tae toward the train station. After the day he’d had, some cold soju would feel just about as good as that shower anyway.
……..
The party wasn’t quite in full swing when they got there; it was still early yet. However there was, as promised, Kim Namjoon, who had managed to find time to change into casual clothes that made him look even hotter and even taller. Jimin low-fived Taehyung behind their backs and pinched his ass and whispered “Go get ‘im, tiger.”
As Tae walked off with a look so determined that Jimin briefly felt sorry for Namjoon, Jimin went to find the alcohol.
“We’re starting with wine,” Yoongi announced as Jimin walked into the kitchen.
“What if I don’t want to start with wine?” Jimin asked, just to be a pain in the ass.
“What if you stop being a brat and get me the glasses, or are you not wearing your shoes with the lifts today? Hyung can get them for you,” Yoongi said, in a syrupy sweet voice.
Jimin refused to answer that because no, he was not wearing his tall shoes today, and he just barely reached the shelf where the wine glasses were. As he was turning around in triumph, Jimin heard a horrifyingly distinct, loud, squeaky laugh echoing from the living room. Shit.
“Wait, hyung--” but Jimin didn’t have time to finish that thought, because Kim Seokjin was walking into the kitchen, carrying three bottles of soju in one hand and two shot glasses in the other. He had clearly found time to change between work and here. Freshly showered by the look of him, Seokjin was wearing just a plain tee and jeans and a snapback, and he was terribly, unfairly pretty as he barged in on Jimin’s already crappy Friday night.
“Oh are we starting with wine?” Seokjin said, depositing the bottles in the fridge.
“Yoongi-hyung and I were,” Jimin said, trying not to sound petulant. Yoongi was his drinking buddy, not stupid Kim Seokjin’s.
Yoongi shot him an odd look. “Get hyung a glass, Jimin,” he said mildly, and that was it, they were drinking with Kim Seokjin, like this night couldn’t get any worse.
Spoiler: it got worse
First of all, Jimin couldn’t find Tae for the rest of the night, which was probably great for Tae but bad for Jimin. He needed support.
Second, not only did Yoongi want to drink with Seokjin, they were like, best friends or something and had a million weird in-jokes that Jimin wasn’t part of.
Third, and this was the worst part, Kim Seokjin apparently decided that Jimin was the best thing ever. He called him “cute Park Jiminie” all night and kept shooting him finger hearts. He sat next to Jimin, dropped his arm around the back of Jimin’s chair and told Jimin to call him hyung, then went on to make loud comments about the food, the drink, the park, Yoongi’s outfit, Jungkook’s new hair. He weirdly never mentioned Jimin’s outfit, which was just ridiculous because Jimin was still wearing his uniform for god’s sake.
“Hyung, what about my outfit,” Jimin said, holding the soju bottle up and away so Seokjin couldn’t reach it. “My outfit is the worst.”
“Noooo, Jimin-ah, you’re the cutest, the cutest pirate with the best pirate pants. Hey,” Seokjin fired finger hearts at Jimin with both hands, causing him to startle and drop his arm enough to Seokjin could reach the soju. “What’s a pirate’s favorite movie?”
“Uuugghhhh,” Yoongi said from the other end of the table.
Jimin rubbed between his eyes. He was starting to get a headache and Seokjin was looking at him, leaning back in his chair, his eyes glittering expectantly. He looked amazing, it was terrible, and he was making bad pirate jokes because he was the worst pirate ever. Jimin sighed. “Don’t say Booty and the Beast.”
“Yaaaahhhh, Park Jiminie, don’t step on my jokes,” and okay, that outraged look was the best thing to happen to Jimin all day. “You! You!--” Seokjin sputtered, then tore off into a rant so filthy and creative that Jimin gave into the urge and collapsed laughing as Seokjin’s face got redder and redder.
He looked so mad. And ridiculous. And still really, really hot.
Fine. Maybe Jimin had a teeny tiny crush, but he wasn’t going to be happy about it.
…….
After that night, Seokjin would sometimes come find Jimin, even when he was supposed to be in character. He’d be down on the pier, playing the Town Drunk Pirate, and then he’d wander off and yell to Jimin on the Pirate Ship Playland, “Why don’t pirate captains have short hair?”
“I literally work at the same stupid pirate themed place you do,” Jimin hissed, feeling his face go red. “I’ve heard all of these.”
Seokjin blew him a kiss, which Jimin ignored. He pulled finger hearts slowly from his pockets and advanced on Jimin, shooting them at him with a little “pew-pew-pew” sound. Jimin looked away, pressing his lips together so he wouldn’t laugh.
“Jimin-aaahhhhh,” Seokjin sang.
Jimin sighed. “Because they hate crew cuts,” he muttered.
Seokjin blew him another kiss and walked away, cracking up, completely out of character. They were supposed to be in character when they were in the uniform, that was one of the park rules.
“I think he likes you.” Taehyung said, from where he’d appeared at Jimin’s elbow.
Jimin said, “Well, he has the worst way of showing it.”
“You’re blushing, this is the cutest, you’re the cutest,” Taehyung draped himself over Jimin’s back.
…….
The next time they were at a party, Jimin decided to get back at Kim Seokjin and his bad jokes and his (possible) terrible seduction technique. It was late, they’d been drinking, Tae and Namjoon were curled up asleep on the couch together, Yoongi and Hoseok were off doing god knows what to each other, and Jungkook was in the kitchen determinedly trying to build a bottle pyramid.
It was just Seokjin and Jimin, sharing the last bottle of wine in the living room. There was only a little bit left in the bottle and Jimin grabbed it, just to be a brat, and poured it into his own glass. He was going to share, but he kind of wanted to make Seokjin ask for it.
“The betrayal,” Seokjin sighed. He was leaning against the wall, probably to help his balance, and he made grabby hands at Jimin. “Share with hyung, come on.”
“I don’t know,” Jimin said, holding up the glass and wiggling it. He advanced on Seokjin, crowding up against him, pushing him even closer against the wall. Seokjin looked startled, his beautiful mouth parted slightly, blinking rapidly down at Jimin. He looked flushed and flustered and Jimin loved it. “I guess you’re…” Jimin leaned closer and whispered into Seokjin’s ear, “...ship out of luck.”
“Oh my god,” Seokjin said, still frozen against the wall and staring at Jimin. “I think I love you.”
Jimin jerked back and stared at him, and at that second, there was a massive, crashing, tinkling noise from the kitchen and Jungkook yelled, “I’m okay!” followed by “..there’s only a little blood?”
Jimin and Jin shared a look of mutual despair and both dashed off to save Jungkook.
………………
The whole thing ended up being a popcorn bag’s fault. Jimin was sure Namjoon or Taehyung would assign it some kind of cosmic significance, like the downfall of humanity through littering or the serendipity of the object being in the right place at the right time, but the fact was, someone hadn’t thrown out their popcorn bag and it was caught right in the wrong spot next to the pier -- the real pier, not the fake one by the wave pool-- and Jimin, minding his own business and walking out to look at the water during his break, stepped on it, lost his footing, and went tumbling right off the pier into the freezing ocean.
It was the shock that got him at first; the shock of the impact, the shock of the cold and the current, disorienting him, even though he was a strong swimmer. Jimin managed to get himself above the water, gasped in a breath and yelled for help. Once he could see where the pier was, where a crowd of people were already starting to gather, Jimin tried to start making his way toward the shore, but it was slow going. The current kept trying to pull him back and his thighs were starting to cramp in the cold water. Jimin was fit and athletic and had been swimming in this very sea since he was a child, but he was starting to get scared. What if this was it? What if someone had to tell his parents that he drowned after slipping on litter?
There was a commotion on the pier, something Jimin couldn’t see clearly enough from a distance. Maybe it was the rescue team? Or-- no, it just looked like a single person, diving into the water.
Jimin lost track of the swimmer quickly, everything getting muddled together as he tried to keep his head straight and blinking the saltwater out of his eyes. He focused on keeping his arms and legs steady, trying to breathe as much as he could, when suddenly, there was someone there, strong arms wrapping around him, warm and safe and solid. Jimin wanted to cry.
“Jimin, relax, okay? I’ve got you.” It was Kim Seokjin, still in his work uniform and carrying two flotation devices. “You just hold on to this and I’ll get you back to shore.” He looked like a different person, serious and worried and completely in charge as he looped one arm around Jimin and began swimming back to shore with surprising strength and speed.
It didn’t take them long to get back with the help from both the floats and Seokjin’s incredibly defined back and shoulder muscles, which were fully on display through his sheer white, dripping wet shirt as they climbed on shore to the applause of the onlookers. Jimin was overcome, partially from being waterlogged, partially from the near-death experience, and partially from the absolute insane hotness of Kim Seokjin, pulling off his shirt and shaking out his wet hair. He was like a hero in a romance novel, or the hero of a drama. He was Jimin’s actual real-life hero, and it was a lot to take in.
“Are you okay?” Seokjin dropped down next to Jimin, patting his cheek worriedly. “Jimin-ah, are you okay?”
“No,” Jimin said. “I need something.” And he reached up and grabbed Kim Seokjin by his perfectly swanlike neck and yanked him down into a hot, wet, salty kiss. Seokjin made a little surprised noise in the back of his throat and then kissed him back, one hand skating gently down Jimin’s side.
“How do pirates ask each other out?” Seokjin asked, slightly breathlessly when they pulled away from each other.
“I’m not playing this game right now,” Jimin said, but he was already laughing, giggling into Seokjin’s neck.
“But I want to hear you say it,” Seokjin said, kissing the top of his head. “I love it when you know them.”
Jimin groaned, leaning back and closing his eyes. “A booty call.”
It was quite possibly the worst way someone had ever asked Jimin out. And Seokjin was still a terrible, terrible pirate. But somehow, strangely, Jimin couldn’t be happier.