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Add our Future, Subtract the Past

Summary:

Math was always comforting. It was a way to make logic foremost and throw painful memories and nonsensical emotions to the side. In the height of his despair, throwing himself into his work and the numbers and equations he had always been passionate about is all he really has to remain sane. Will anyone break down the walls he's built around his heart and manage to show him that life isn't always a calculated disaster?

 

UPDATE 9/11/23: This fic is currently on an indefinite hiatus. Apologies to those who are just finding this fic and seeing how long it’s been since an update was last posted. Life happened a LOT these past few years and I just did not have the time/energy necessary to create or put out quality content. I am unsure when or if the spark of inspiration will return to me for this story, as it has laid dormant for so long (and my old laptop which had the story saved on it died recently, taking all my progress with it :( ), so it is on the back burner for now. Again, I’m sorry to disappoint all who read and supported this story and I hope that this isn’t the last you’ll hear from me on it, as I hate leaving stories unfinished. Thank you for being patient with me.

Chapter 1: Unforgiving as Time

Notes:

Well, here we are. I hope this start isn't too bad, I'm editing this at 3 AM running on a Sprite and my increased desire to never sleep or function as a useful part of society again. *keemstar voice* Let's get riiiiiiight into this mess :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

To bring new life into this world... To be by the side of the person you loved and cherished most while everything from inexplicable joy to unbearable anxiety washed over you as you witnessed your very own miracle... Nothing could compare to this feeling. That was what he had decided wholeheartedly while sitting in that stiff little hospital chair next to to the bed, while a newborn lay cradled safely in his wife's arms. The proud grin he wore, the same he had been wearing for hours now, felt as though it was etched permanently onto his face at this point. He couldn't manage to quell the tears streaking down his cheeks intermittently. He didn't care. He didn't care about anything other than the sight in front of him, and he took it all in with great care as he leaned over as closely as possible to her, a hand stroking her forearm softly.

“I take it we agree on the name at this point? Seeing as it certainly suits her.” The man's quiet voice broke the long silence at last, prompting a gentle laugh from his wife.

“Yes, yes it does indeed.” She smiled. “Rosy cheeks on our little Rose... It's like it was meant to be.”

The man hummed softly in agreement, tilting his head upwards to meet eyes with his love. He leaned further and pressed his lips softly to hers in a quick kiss, pulling away to nuzzle his face into her cheek. Her scent was just as flowery and gentle as ever, even after a long day. It was unbelievably comforting. Reassuring, even.

“She's going to be such a beautiful, strong woman one day. She's going to be just like you.”

The smile on the woman's face spread wider, her gaze settling fondly on the infant. “If we're lucky,” She whispered softly, “she'll have your intelligence, wit and passion as well.”

His heart felt full. So full, he wasn't sure how it hadn't burst at this point. Letting the warmth bubble in his chest, he sighed, letting out a shaky breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. Something wasn't right. He wasn't sure why, but a cold chill began to creep up his spine and worry grabbed at his heart. It was almost as if his mind was trying to warn him that things were going far too right, and inevitably it was sure to come crashing down on him at any moment now. He shouldn't, no, couldn't listen. He had to push that little voice away. With a slightly trembling hand, he reached out and grabbed the hand of his wife, lacing their fingers tightly together. With a bitter taste in his mouth, he swallowed.

“I love you. Ya know?”

I'm sorry.

She laughed, light and sweet. “I love you too, Calvin.”

The happy tears from before began to flow heavier now, more sour this time, the warmth in his chest slowly fading away. He knew.

“I'm going to be the best father I can be, I swear it.”

I'm so sorry.

Ice cold fingers gripped at his heart with every word he spoke.

“I know you will be. I'm so happy...” Her smile made his stomach turn. The walls drew closer and closer in.

“Anne, I want-...”

Suffocating. He was suffocating.

Please forgive me. I don't want you to go.

He could no longer speak. He couldn't breathe. Everything was changing and shifting around him, turning the bright hospital room into what seemed more like an empty void. His heart raced. He reached out to her, though he knew he couldn't grab her. Panic set in. Her face was washed over with dread, her hands reaching out to him desperately as she was swallowed further and further into the blackness.

I can't save you. I'm sorry

She cried out for help, her voice shrill and painfully full of fear. It made his skin crawl. He didn't want to be here anymore. He'd rather be dead. He waited for the void to swallow him as well. He waited for it to end this horrible existence.

Instead, something soft brushed his cheek.

As if being propelled, the man sat up violently in his bed, eyes flying open and a sharp gasp leaving his mouth. His whole body shook, his skin cold and clammy. He realized with strong discontent that he had broken out in a sweat, so he threw the covers off of his jittering body and onto the floor. He had to clear his head. Trying to calm his breathing, he immediately recalled the grounding techniques he had been taught. He counted each breath- one inhale, one exhale. Concentrate. Two inhale, two exhale...

Gradually, the sensations started to fade and his body stilled. He felt the same soft sensation from a few moments ago, but this time against his knee. A small noise prompted him to shift his attention.

“Ah, Zeta. Thank you for waking me.” He brought a hand up and stroked the silky Persian's fur gently, inviting her to crawl into his lap. She obliged, curling up happily and purring softly. A small smile crept onto his face. He took a deep breath, burying his fingers in pale orange strands. It was times like these that he sincerely mentally thanked his therapist for recommending getting a pet, because her company always managed to make him feel so much better. They stayed like this for several minutes before he turned and glanced at the little alarm clock on his bedside table. The the bright glow of the little red numbers showed 3:45. Through the heavy curtains, he could faintly make out the warm gleam of the moon and the few street lights nearby.

Realizing he probably wasn't going to get much more, if any more sleep that night, he sighed heavily, gently lifting Zeta from his lap and unfolding his legs so that he could swing them over the side of the bed. Upon standing, his spine felt stiff and his limbs were achy. Definitely not enough sleep. At this point, however, it didn't really matter, given how often he felt 'off' in his own body. He had almost become numb to it, in a way.

He padded to the little bathroom and flicked on the light, blinking harshly against the uncomfortable brightness before his eyes adjusted. Turning the knob on the sink, he allowed some of the cold, brisk water to flow before cupping his palms and splashing some into his face. He rubbed at his temples for a moment before shutting off the tap and standing up straight. His eyes met those of the tired, worn-down looking math teacher in the mirror. He frowned. For someone only in his late twenties, he wore some pretty intense wrinkles around his eyes on nights like these. Fortunately, “nights like these” weren't extremely common- at least not anymore- but when they did happen, they hit him hard. They seemed to happen more during periods of stress or anxiety, and having next week be designated as a final exam week wasn't helping his stress levels. He still had so much to prepare for and go over before the tests, and then there was the wedding happening the following week, and though he didn't particularly feel like driving out there, he knew his brother would kill him if he didn't-

Stop.

That's right. It was pointless to worry. Thinking about the future would only make things worse. He needed something to take his mind away from all of the negativity, something to get his mood up and refresh his system. He gave a little nod of purpose into the mirror before exiting the bathroom, wandering back into the bedroom and plucking a lightweight coat from the closet. There were still several hours before he even needed to think about getting ready to go into the school and prepare his lecture and activity plans for the day, and if he couldn't sleep he might as well use the time as constructively as possible.

Zeta pounced down from her perch on the bed, mewing softly and following her owner down the dark little hallway and out into the main room. She sat patiently as he slipped on his tennis shoes, watching with interest gleaming in her pale blue eyes as he hastily tied them.

“I'm heading out for a little walk.” He knelt down to give her a few gentle pats on the head, and she responded by nudging her head further into his hand, making his weary heart melt. “I'll be back before long. I promise I won't miss your breakfast, okay girl?”

Straightening up, he unlocked and pulled the door open, simultaneously grabbing his keys from the little couch-side table to the right. He gave one last quick glance back into the dark, lonely little apartment, letting his eyes linger on a picture of three people hung carefully on the opposite wall. The corner of his mouth turned up slightly, and he felt an emotion discernible as neither joy nor sorrow. He nodded his head in resolve once again, finally making his way out into the early morning air. Today was going to be different.

Today was going to be alright.

Notes:

Yes I gave Baldi a cat. Yes, its name is a math related term. What did you honestly expect

If you've read what I have so far, I sincerely thank you for giving it a shot. I hope I make the characters believable enough as time goes on. There isn't really any dialogue yet, but I'm looking forward to developing relationships and characterization. I'm trying to make the characters seem as much themselves as possible while also writing them to behave as... "realistically" as possible, I guess? I dunno, you'll see what I mean ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chapter 2: Delusions

Summary:

This particular morning, he's going to need a lot more than a few cups of coffee to make it through.

Notes:

*camping Baldi voice* ~Wow~, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's read my story so far and left kudos/comments, I really truly do appreciate it! Seeing people give such positive feedback to my writing and ideas encourages me to work harder for the future chapters! ❤❤

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

He couldn't say that he felt entirely better, but a self-reflective walk, a warm self-made breakfast, and admittedly some (a LOT of) caffeine certainly helped to calm the noise in his restless mind. By the time he stepped through the doors of the school building that morning, not even allowing the sun to fully rise first, the nightmares and feelings of dread were all but forgotten. All he wanted to do was to put himself in a comfortable, familiar environment where he could focus all of his attention on work. There was much to be done, and the man practically floated through the hallways, power walking down the tile floors with renewed purpose in every step. Of course, that's not to say he didn't have time to make a few stops to fraternize with the other early-morning staff. In fact, he was more than glad to see the genuine smiles and refreshingly positive energy of one in particular. If only he could learn to develop the same carefree attitude.

“Mornin', Mr. Baldi!”

The teacher turned his head to the source of the familiar rough but still upbeat voice. “Good morning, Gus. Hard at work already, I see.” He gave the janitor a friendly smile as he came to a stop for a moment, readjusting the various books and folders full of papers under one arm and lifting his coffee mug with the other to take a sip.

“Oh, 'course!” The diligent man replied, briefly pausing in his sweeping duties to smoothly lean against his old but trusty broom and adjust his faded baseball cap. “They don't keep me around for nothin'! Gotta keep this place lookin' nice and tidy so the kiddos have a good environment to focus.” He smiled, beaming proudly at the importance of his job.

Baldi smiled warmly, nodding in agreement. “It's certainly nice that we have someone so concerned with the importance of the children's educations taking care of our halls.”

“'S just what I do!” Gus chuckled, grin growing wider. “Now, I've got a lot more to sweep before classes start, so I'll see ya 'round, teach!”

Baldi nodded and waved as the janitor took off once again, sweeping his way down the remainder of the hallway and humming a merry tune. The teacher grinned to himself and shook his head, sincerely wondering where on Earth that man got all of that energy from each and every morning. Sighing softly, he turned and resumed on the route to his classroom, deciding to lift his head and take in the scenery of the school. He could hear the sports clubs already hard at work warming up as he passed by the open gymnasium doors, the sounds of gym shoes squeaking against the wooden floor and the echoes of laughter and loud conversation bouncing off the walls. Moving on, he noticed that the hallways of his wing of the school were quite colorful, as he took note of the flashy posters that adorned the walls along the way. There were handmade posters for everything from chess club to yearbook club, and, oh-! There was the poster for math club! The student council's decorating committee had done such a nice job! They had even used his favorite color: green! And look, there was that picture they had taken of him and his smiling little mathletes! He was so proud-...

Crash!

“Whoops! Er... Pardon me, Mr. Baldimore!”

How embarrassing. He had gotten so wrapped up in admiring posters that he had failed to notice the principal coming down the hallway from the opposite direction and managed to knock shoulders with him. It hadn't been a massive collision, but it was enough to spill a bit of his coffee. Judging by the warmth he felt on his chest, he was now wearing some of it.

“Are you alright?”

Baldi didn't respond immediately, electing instead to crane his neck down to assess the damage done to his green cardigan. Sure enough, there was a nice slightly larger than quarter-sized stain accenting the garment now. The principal took note of this, and his eyes widened.

“Oh! Did I make you spill some of your coffee? I'm so sorry about that!” He frowned, feeling embarrassment prickle up his neck as he eyed the dark stain. This was certainly no way to make your staff feel closer and more positive towards you.

Baldi lifted his head to flash an apologetic attempt at a smile at the principal. He chuckled weakly, feeling an equal amount of shame. “No, no, it isn't your fault! I wasn't watching where I was going...” Oh well, so much for his smooth-sailing morning.

“Well, I wasn't exactly paying as much attention as I should have been either, so you can't say it's entirely your fault.” The principal furrowed his brows, gingerly pointing a finger at the other man's now coffee-soaked chest. “I should at least help you out with that. Would you like to come by my office? I happen to have one of those nifty little stain removal pens that should take that right out!”

Not questioning why the principal was ready to play dry-cleaner at a moment's notice, Baldi felt a genuine smile spread across his face at the gesture of hospitality from his boss. “Yes, I appreciate the offer.” He nodded, his faith in this day restored by the principal's kindness (and incredible preparedness, might he add). “I'll just go to my classroom and drop my things off there, first.”

“Wonderful! I will see you soon!” The taller man beamed, happy to make up for his little faux-pas with the math teacher so early in the morning. With one final nod of agreement and affirmation, the two parted ways and Baldi, thankfully, made it safely the rest of the way to his classroom without any further incidents. It only took a few moments for him to settle his things in, dropping some materials onto his desk and setting his bag in its usual spot on the floor next to his chair. It looked like getting down to business was going to have to wait. Quickly straightening his desk, his eyes landed on his now mostly empty mug, and he decided to take it with him and refill it in the faculty lounge on the way to the principal's office. By God, the power of caffeine was going to get him through this day on a measly four hours of sleep whether it wanted to or not.

Once he was finally at the agreed upon destination, he slowly rounded the corner and walked into the office, noting the wide open door and the absence of the principal actually being there. His eyes darted around the room as he stood in the doorway, about to say something when suddenly the brunet-headed man popped up from behind the desk, almost giving the poor sleep-deprived teacher a heart attack. Hadn't he been through enough this morning?

“Oh, there you are!” The principal smiled and made his way over to his colleague, holding what must have been the little orange laundry pen in his right hand. “Sorry about that, I had dropped one of my contacts and wanted to find it before the bottom of my shoe did! You know, I'm absolutely blind as a bat without them!” He laughed, handing the pen to Baldi. He suddenly cleared his throat and ran a hand over the back of his neck, taking on a much more earnest tone. “Here you go. Sorry about earlier, again. I wouldn't want to ruin your professional image, especially not on such a special day!”

Baldi took the little pen and removed the cap, tugging at the fabric of his cardigan and beginning to rub at the stain. “Oh, please, like I said, it really wasn't your-” ...Wait, what was that last bit? Breaking out of his intense stain-removing concentration to look up and make very puzzled eye contact with the principal, he asked, “Did you say 'special day'...?”

“Why, yes! Have you forgotten?” The principal grinned excitedly, heading back to his desk and settling into the cushioned seat. Baldi simply stood there, brows furrowed in confusion as he watched the other man begin hastily leafing through papers. He was about to to say that yes, he had apparently forgotten whatever was going on today and needed to ask some questions, but that train of thought was abruptly ended when he received his answer in the form of a few sudden words from the principal, eyes now looking somewhere behind the teacher and smiling warmly.

“Oh, you're here already! Good morning, you must be Rose! So nice to see that you made it here so early!”

The teacher's eyes widened, the little pen falling from his grip and hitting the carpeted floor with a muffled 'thud'. A rush of icy fear shot through his chest for a brief moment. He didn't dare to turn around. What if... No. That would be ridiculous.

The presence behind him timidly moved closer, small footsteps drawing nearer and nearer to where he stood until finally the person who had been so mysteriously addressed from the doorway came into Baldi's view. Still not quite able to will himself to fully look up, he shifted his gaze to the right, watching out of the corner of his eye as this new person walked around to the side of the principal's desk. The man stood up, shaking hands with the girl and exchanging a few words with her. It wasn't until his name was mentioned in the conversation that Baldi realized he had completely spaced out, lost entirely in the fog of his own brain for the last 30 seconds or so.

“Mr. Baldi, I would like you to be one of the first to meet our newest student!”

Notes:

Alright, more conflict development, yay! I have a really clear idea of where I want the next chapter to go from here, and I'm excited for the story picking up and going places... (also, brownie points if your school ever had a group of "mathletes"... let's just take a moment to reflect on how perfectly nerdy the image of Baldi leading a competitive math club with the utmost pride is :'))

Chapter 3: Void

Summary:

It isn't always the healthiest thing, but sometimes it's just easier than acceptance.

Notes:

Once again, thank you guys so much for your continued support and encouragements! And what's this, have I actually been posting chapters on a consistent basis?? I suppose I just have so many ideas for the development of this story that it isn't hard to just start writing and get everything down and edited, which is eXtreMely nice.

So... just who is this new girl?

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“New student...”

That was impossible... right? Just how coincidental could it be? Of course, logically he knew it wasn't her, but... That name... But then again, there must be many others who-

“...Mr. Baldimore?”

Damn, he had let his irrational thoughts race again. Slowly, Baldi lifted his head and straightened himself up, quickly placing the stain remover on the edge of the principal's desk and straightening his green cardigan. Now, he was able to get a much clearer look at this child. The first thing he noticed was the small white cane clutched in her right hand. She stood slightly slouched, the new-looking backpack she wore appearing too big for her small stature. Her dark brown hair was curly, almost unruly, but short enough that it bobbed just above the curve of her shoulders. The look in her dark eyes was somewhat... vacant. She turned to face the direction of the teacher, eyes seeming to search for something. Baldi cleared his throat, inching closer and timidly reaching out a hand.

“Yes, sorry, my apologies. It's been a bit of a strange morning so far.” He finally spoke, and at the sound of his voice her face lit up. She extended a hand and he grabbed it, shaking it gently while forcing a weak chuckle from his throat. “I am Mr. Baldimore, though most of my students just call me 'Mr. Baldi' or 'Mr. B'. I'm fine with any of those. I'm a math teacher here.” He smiled, trying to seem as welcoming as possible despite the storm of red flags in his head.

The girl nodded, her own smile growing wider. There was a certain twinkle in her otherwise empty eyes as her face lit up. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Baldi. My name is Rosalie, but I prefer to go by Rose. It's just simpler.”

There went that little pang in his heart again. She had such a tiny voice, but it was incredibly strong thanks to how charismatic her presence was. The principal placed a hand on her shoulder, and she stepped closer to him, pivoting left and right on her feet as she stood. Her bright red dress flowed lightly along with her movements. The two threw glances in each others' direction and began giggling, causing the teacher to tilt his head in confusion.

“You see, Rose here is actually my niece. Her parents have just recently moved here into our town, and they decided to enroll her at our school.” The principal explained proudly, giving the girl a few pats on the head. “She's going to be joining your advanced placement class, and I think you'll really enjoy having her. Well, at least when she's not being a brat...”

“Hey!” The girl giggled and shoved an elbow into the principal's waist, earning a dramatic “Ow!” from the taller man.

“Alright, alright, I'm just teasing. She's a wonderful kid and math is both her best and favorite subject, so I think the two of you will get along just fine.”

Baldi's face lit up. “Oh, is that so? That's wonderful! I know you'll have a lot of fun in my class! In fact, I lead a club after school where students can...” He let himself trail off, noticing he was getting a bit too overzealous and beginning to ramble. “Ah, we can talk about that later. I'm sure you have a lot to do before your first day begins.” He sighed, looking away and rubbing his arm in embarrassment over how ahead of himself he'd gotten.

“Actually, since you're here and she will be attending your class first, I was wondering if you would like to show her around a bit?”

Baldi tensed, looking at the principal, then at Rose, then back to the principal again. Slowly, he let a small smile pull at the corners of his mouth. “Of course. I've been teaching here for quite a few years, so I happen to know my way around fairly well. I'm sure I could give you a sufficient tour.”

“Wonderful!” The principal clapped his hands together, moving to sit back down at his desk. “I've got a lot of paperwork to fill out here, so why don't the two of you go see the school? Like I said, Rose is a good kid, save for all that extra energy she has.”

“C'mon, uncle Kenneth...” Rose playfully shook her head in response, prompting the principal to jokingly call out “That's Mr. Principal, to you!”. She laughed and stepped closer to where Baldi stood, looking up towards the much taller man with an eager smile. “You lead the way, Mr. Baldi! I'm ready whenever you are!”

“Right! Then... Let's be on our way, I suppose.” Baldi shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark blue slacks, beginning to turn towards the door. Before he even took a step, he felt a tug at the bottom of his cardigan, and he looked down to see the girl pinching the fabric delicately between her fingers.

“Um... do you mind if I hold onto your sweater like this? I'm not very familiar with the place yet...” She spoke, her voice much quieter than before.

Baldi took a deep breath, pushing away the strange guilt he felt whenever he looked at her. Right, this girl had some sort of visual impairment, of course she would feel a bit uneasy about touring a place she had never been to before. Especially a place as big as this. He made a mental note that he was going to have to adapt and develop ways of helping her succeed just as much as the other students.

“Oh, yes, of course! Do whatever makes you most comfortable.” Baldi glanced back at her, and she smiled and nodded. “Alright, I'm going to set us off, then.” The principal watched with a warm smile as he waved the pair out of his office. He couldn't explain the gut feeling he had that told him she was in good hands, but it did comfort him somewhat to know that one of his most trusted (dare he say favorite?) staff was with her. Baldi would take good care of her, he was sure of it. Maybe now, he wouldn't have to worry so much about his niece.

Out in the halls, Baldi lead Rose past important areas starting with the gym and the cafeteria, and he paused briefly here and there to explain the significance of each. He showed her the best route to the wing of the school where the sixth graders had their lockers and most of their classes, and helped her to find her locker and open it with ease. He could sense her anxiety about all this despite her cheerful exterior, so he tried his best to make his little tour feel as far from overwhelming as possible.

When at last he had gone over her schedule with her and pointed out where all of her other classes would be, he lead her to his classroom, saving the “best” for last. He stopped just outside the door to the empty room, and she let go of his sweater to step back slightly.

“And finally, we have my favorite out of all of the classes on the list. You'll be spending first hour with me, so you're welcome to come in and look around, maybe find your seat, that sort of thing. Or, I suppose you could walk around until classes start and try to familiarize yourself better, if you like. Whichever you prefer, you have quite a bit of time.”

The girl stood and thought for a moment as Baldi turned to open the door to the classroom, propping the door stand up and walking inside. Clearly curious, she decided to follow him in, stopping at the front of the room to take in her new environment. Baldi walked to his desk and sat down, picking up the coffee mug and taking a sip before reaching for the books and papers sat on his desk and beginning to flip through them. Finding what he was looking for, he took out a pair of reading glasses and a pen and began silently writing.

“You seem like you're busy, but if it's alright, could I hang out here with you? I promise not to be too much of a distraction.” Rose folded her hands behind her back, voice once again coming out slightly softer than usual.

Baldi shook his head, turning to smile warmly at her. “It's no problem at all, Rosema- ah, Rose, I mean. Sorry, I'm a bit out of it this morning.” He averted his gaze from hers, shifting his attention back to the papers on his desk and and dejectedly rubbing his temples a bit before finishing what he had been writing. After a moment, he cleared his throat softly. “I don't mind you sticking around here. In fact, let me show you to your desk.”

Pulling open the drawer on his desk, he retrieved a sheet of paper with a little seating chart roughly drawn out on it, scanning the labeled rectangles that represented the students' desks to try and find an empty one. “Ah-ha!” He proclaimed after a moment, standing up and following the chart to a desk off to the left of the room in the front row. He stood next to it, gesturing to it as though it were a fine mansion he had just given some lucky new owner the keys to. “You can sit right here!”

Rose turned to the sound of his voice and walked over to the desk, setting her backpack down on the ground and sitting down in the little plastic chair. She smiled, nodding in approval. “It's close to the board! I'll definitely be able to focus up here.”

Baldi quirked an eyebrow. “How did you-...” He abruptly cut himself off, realizing mid-sentence how rude and intrusive he sounded. He hadn't meant to say something so crass aloud...

Rose giggled, catching the teacher off-guard. “I'm not completely blind, so I can still make out shapes and colors and stuff like that. I can see the white of the chalk on the board and the outline of your desk over there. It's all just really blurry.” She paused, thinking for a moment. “It doesn't really bother me most of the time, though. I've been this way my whole life. It just takes a little while to get used to a new place.”

Baldi stood still, mouth half-open in surprise at her unexpected candor about her condition. Honestly, he was partially relieved she had addressed the so-to-speak elephant in the room and with such ease, because it would make learning about her and how she preferred to learn much easier for him. Smiling slightly, he knelt down in front of her desk, placing the seating chart paper down. “I see.” He began softly as he took out a pen and began writing her name on the chart. “I'd like to learn more about you and how I can be most helpful to you as a teacher, so I'm hoping we can have an honest and open sort of communication. If there's ever anything you need or if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to come to me and I will try to make your experience in my class as comfortable as possible. Okay?”

Rose nodded and smiled. “Yes, thank you. You know... you're very kind, Mr. Baldi.”

The teacher stood up and took the chart back to his desk, setting the paper down on top of some lesson plans he had been outlining for the day. His eyes wandered over the desk in search of something, eventually landing on a framed photo sat next to the spare mug he kept to hold his pencils and pens. He placed his hands in his pockets, a somber and lonely expression tracing his features despite the smile he wore.

“No need to thank me; it's just what any teacher who cares about his students would do.”

'I'm simply treating you as if you were my own.'

Notes:

To everyone who has ever headcanonned the principal being related to Playtime in some way: STRONGLY AGREE man

Chapter 4: Mask

Summary:

Admitting the truth and asking for help can be hard. Unnecessary, even. It's better to try and deal with your own problems before they become a burden to someone else.

Notes:

Congrats to the BBIEAL kickstarter getting funded and mystman getting to do what he loves!?!!? Idk about y'all, but I'm super hyped for the full game to come out! ^^

Also, fun fact: I worked another character into this chapter, and he only plays a very brief role here, but he'll definitely be back. I love this dude. Bonus points if you can guess who he is before the end of the chapter~ ;)c

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Things had been mostly falling into place for the new student during her first week, despite her untimely entrance into the final exam review crunch. She worked just as hard outside of school to make sure she was fully caught up with the other students, and so far she was keeping up exceedingly well. Not only that, but she was steadily making friends and learning her way around the social aspect of the school. It didn't take long for her to find a few girls who would be her jump rope partners in gym class, especially not after she had blown everyone away with her incredibly sharp skills despite her flawed vision. She had been apprehensive, but by the end of the week she was starting to think that starting over might not be so bad after all.

Extracurricular activities played a big part in her luck finding friends, as well. It had taken a bit of window shopping, but Rose had finally decided on a club she wanted to join. She had ended up only being able to pick one this year, due to her family's hectic schedule and her need for extra studying hours, but that was fine by her. She genuinely enjoyed the club that she had chosen. Sure, her math teacher may have had a slight influence on her, but after attending her first meeting with the club, she knew this was where she wanted to be.

Baldi had been absolutely thrilled to introduce her to the other club members, standing proudly at the front of the classroom with a hand on her shoulder as he announced her entry warmly.

“And here with us today, we have a new addition to our little club!” He paused briefly to laugh at his own play on words. A few students rolled their eyes, but laughed anyway. Typical Baldi. “Her name is Rosemar- no, Rosalie. But, she wishes for you all to call her Rose. I know you're a wonderful group of kids, so I hope you'll all welcome her with open arms.”

The other students who were already seated in the little circle of desks they had formed towards the back corner of the room let out a small chorus of greetings before going back to chatting quietly amongst themselves. Shortly after their attention left her, Rose's friendly smile faded into a slight frown as she turned to look at the one who had handled her introduction. Something had been weighing on her mind for the past few days. Or rather, it had been weighing on her mind ever since she first arrived at this school.

“Mr. Baldi?” She asked, making sure to keep her voice low as he slowly walked with her towards the circle of students. This may have been awkward and abrupt, but if she didn't ask now, then when?

“Hm?”

She hesitated. Something told her she should just forget about it, but she was curious by nature.

“You... you keep calling me 'Rosemary' on accident. I've noticed it a few other times this week... Is there a reason?”

The teacher stayed silent, and his expression faltered for a moment before he turned to look at her with a smile, though it seemed a little more forced than before. There was a kind of nostalgic pain behind his eyes. She had seen this expression from him a few other times since she had arrived, and she wondered what made him seem so...sentimental.

“It's nothing, just a little slip of the tongue. I teach a lot of students and learn a lot of names, you know.”

There he was, giving another one of those forced chuckles again. She could tell he was getting uncomfortable, yet something still made her press on. She wanted to know...

“...Did you used to have a student with that name or something?”

The corner of his mouth twitched slightly, and he let his cheery facade drop just a bit. A hushed “...Maybe we'll talk about it later.” was all he gave in response before quickly switching gears, putting on a big smile and clapping his hands together while turning his attention to the group of students now in front of him. He suggested for Rose to find a seat, so she did, though numerous questions still roiled inside her head. If anything, she was now more curious than before. Whenever her seemingly lively teacher addressed the club members, she could hear it now. If she really paid attention, she could hear the many unspoken words concealed under that lighthearted tone.

“Alright everyone, listen up! This will be one of our last meetings before winter break, so let's make it count!”

You're not really as alright as you pretend to be, are you?

 


 

Mid-day sunlight poured in from the large window of the classroom, bathing his blissfully quiet surroundings in a bright light that only served as a reminder of the world passing him by outside. The far-off sounds of children talking and playing in the schoolyard drifted in, as he had opened the window just a crack in order to let some fresh air in. It was getting a bit stuffy in the room, and the frigid wind that would seep in every once in a while didn't seem to bother him. He liked winter. In fact, he'd even go as far as to call it his favorite season. Sure, it was a bit of a hectic time of year, but it certainly held its charms. He thought about the streets of the city, adorned with pretty lights and full of life. A few memories from winters past surfaced, and he felt the ghost of a smile trace his lips before being brought out of his reverie by the sound of footsteps approaching the open door to his classroom.

“Yo, Baldimore, the principal wants to see you in his office whenever you get the chance.”

The math teacher stopped writing, looking up from the review papers he had stayed after school to grade and pushing his reading glasses further up the bridge of his nose. That young intern the principal had hired not too long ago as an assistant stood in the doorway to his classroom, his eyes impatiently darting up to the clock on the far wall. Baldi figured he must have been staying late to help with the many end of semester tasks the principal had to take care of, and absolutely couldn't wait to finally be allowed to go home.

“Alright, Felix. Tell him I'll be there in a few.”

"Cool." The younger man nodded, his fluffy brown tuft of hair bouncing along with the movement. He flashed a quick thumbs up before slipping away from the doorway, shoving his hands in his jean pockets and disappearing back down the hall with a sigh. Listening as the quiet footsteps faded away, Baldi put down his trusty red pen and straightened the stack of still ungraded papers into a corner of his desk, frowning at the amount of work he still had yet to do on a Friday afternoon. His eyelids were already growing heavy, and his stomach let out a loud sound of dissatisfaction as the light scent of cinnamon wafted through the room from somewhere outside. Admittedly, his sleeping and eating habits hadn't been the best that week, and he'd given up a lot of his free time and late nights to grading and crafting study guides, but he told himself that as long as he had his 10 cups of coffee he could make it through anything. If you repeat something enough times, it's bound to become a reality eventually, right? Besides, when you lived by yourself, things like making sure to eat three square meals and get plenty of rest were easily forgotten and often pushed to the wayside.

Sighing dejectedly and dragging himself up and out of the old office chair, he reluctantly took a step towards the door, only to find that a wave of dizziness overtook him and made him stumble forwards a little. He quickly grabbed onto the edge of his desk for support, placing a palm over his forehead as he closed his eyes against the little white dots that danced in his vision.

'Damn, that came out of nowhere...'

Ignoring the little voices of reason in his head, he stubbornly steadied himself back upright, figuring that he was just experiencing a dizzy spell from sitting in that cramped chair for hours on end and then standing up too quickly. He was fine. Just to show himself how fine he was, he tested his luck, he slowly removing his hand from over his eyes and opening them to the brightness of the room once more. The feeling didn't seem to be as intense anymore, and his vision had cleared somewhat. Taking a deep breath, he cautiously took a few more steps forward, letting go of the desk and slowly walking towards the door. The sudden movement only seemed to exacerbate the swimming in his head, however, and he felt his legs weaken beneath him as he dropped to his knees, not even feeling the shock of his joints crashing into the hard tile.

Several panicked thoughts crossed his clouded mind as his vision went dark, and he didn't even have time to act on anything his brain was screaming at him, like “call for help” or “do something” as he felt his remaining consciousness slip away. He had a fleeting thought of, 'Is this really how I'm going to die? Grading papers?' and he used the last bit of awareness he had to inwardly laugh bitterly at the thought. The last thing he was vaguely aware of was the feeling of cold tile pressed up against his cheek as he contentedly faded into nothing, and the sound of a panicked yet very familiar voice approaching, sounding as though it were miles away.

Notes:

*suspenseful music* Someone save this man from himself, he is not fit to be his own adult. '-_-

If you hadn't guessed it, our little intern friend Felix here is... *drumroll* Filename2! He's just a laid-back 21 year old who wants to get his work done and then go tf home. Same, Felix, same.

Chapter 5: You aren't Alone

Summary:

Trust is delicate. Letting someone in is a gradual process, and like most things it must start somewhere. But, just how far you decide to let them in is entirely up to you.

Notes:

Whoa wow kazow another chapter already? Man I'm surprised too tbh. I started working on this and it kinda just like... flowed. So I'll go on ahead and post it now! :)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

『『  "Listen to me, Cal. I don't want for you to be sad when I'm gone. I want you to continue, I want you to be happy and have a fulfilling life, even if I'm not in it. Do not waste your days mourning the life of someone who once was, and let your own pass you by; that is not what I want for you. Please, go out there and find love again. Do it for me.

If not for me, then do it for her."  』』

●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●●

He was floating again. Floating in that endless black void somewhere deep within his own mind. Was this death? Was he really dead? Maybe that wouldn't be so awful, he reasoned within the murky haze of his clouded brain. Maybe, just maybe, he would finally get to see them again...

But, he didn't really want to die. Not yet. He was afraid. There was still so much he hadn't done...

“...-di? Mr. Baldimore? Calvin! Can you hear me?”

That voice. He could hear it again, calling desperately out to him and pulling him further and further from the calm darkness. Gradually, he became aware of something or someone shaking his thin body gently, and his muscles twitched in reaction as his eyes slowly blinked open. A bright, white light poured into his now oversensitive irises, and he squinted with a tiny groan of protest as an excited gasp was heard somewhere off to his right.

“Oh, thank God!” The source of the voice turned, shouting over their shoulder at someone. “Marie, he's awake!”

“...Hmm...?”

Baldi turned his head to the side groggily, feeling a sharp pain shoot through his skull making him wince. Opting to keep his head still for the time being, he shifted his eyes instead to see the principal staring down at him, looking just a little bit stressed out as he sat in a chair next to the little bed.

“I'm so relieved to see you awake! You gave us all quite a scare, Mr. Baldi!”

“Where... Where are we?” The teacher croaked, trying his best to focus on the other man despite the blinding brightness of the fluorescent lights and white ceiling overhead. As if the room were trying to clue him in, the powerful scent of sterilizing disinfectants and latex hit his nostrils powerfully all at once, causing him to scrunch up his nose.

“When I decided to visit to your classroom earlier rather than having you come to me, I found you completely unconscious on the floor next to your desk so I immediately called for help. I had to carry you into Nurse Andersson's office.” The principal paused to give a timid chuckle. “Luckily, her room isn't far from yours, and you're surprisingly easy to carry.”

Had he been more awake and alert, Baldi would have given more thought to the ridiculous implications that his boss had carried him bridal-style through the hallways after-hours, but frankly, his mind was still too fuzzy to look too deeply into anything at the moment. He simply reached up to rub at his tired eyes, still wondering if this was all part of a dream of some sort. Somewhere out of his small field of vision, he could hear what he assumed to be the sound of the school nurse shuffling around the room. Within a few moments, another face joined the principal's in hovering over the groggy man as the nurse treaded over to him, a gentle smile on her face and a little white paper cup in her hand.

“It's a good thing the principal here found you so quickly. You could've woken up on that cold floor all alone and had a much less pleasant recovery.” She giggled, throwing him a look of sympathy. “The good news is that I checked you over to make sure it wasn't anything serious, and your vitals all seem to be fine. You weren't out for long, so that's a good sign. You likely just experienced a sudden syncope manifesting from fatigue. You also appear to be a bit dehydrated as well. Have you not been getting enough sleep or water lately?”

Baldi thought for a moment, taking a few seconds to process her words before averting his eyes to the ceiling in shame. “Well, the students' finals are next week, and I-...”

“Ah-ah-ah!” The nurse cut him off with a disapproving shake of her head, using the same chastising tone of voice she as she would with a student. “No excuses, Mr. Baldi. You've got to keep yourself healthy and alert if you want to help those kids succeed.”

The teacher nodded sheepishly, still not meeting either of the disapproving, concerned gazes cast upon him. The embarrassment of collapsing in his classroom due to lack of proper self-care and making his own boss drag him to the nurse's office began to hit him, manifesting in his paler than usual cheeks as a dusty splash of crimson. When he really thought about it, he felt like an utter fool.

“I've got a little bit of water here for you, do you think you can sit up and drink some? It will help your body recover.”

Baldi agreed, realizing that a cup of water actually sounded like the best damn thing on earth at the moment. He began to sit up only to feel another sharp wave of pain dancing behind his eyes, so he fell back onto the pillow with a grimace instead.

“Try not to move too suddenly, dear. I checked your blood sugar earlier and it was quite low, so you're probably going to have a bit of a headache until you get some proper nutrients to balance everything back out. Just take it slow, alright?”

'No kidding.' He thought, gathering the strength to try and prop himself up onto his elbows once more following the nurse's advice. He mentally celebrated this little victory, about to lift his hand to reach out for the cup when he realized something warm was holding it down. Confused, he looked down only to see that the principal's hand was loosely gripping the back of his own.

“Uh...”

“...Oh, sorry!” The principal's eyes widened as he quickly yanked his hand away, only just realizing that it was still sat atop the teacher's. He shoved his hands into his lap, laughing awkwardly as a faint pink surfaced in his cheeks. “The nurse had me keeping an eye on your pulse while you were out.”

Taking the explanation without further questions, Baldi simply nodded understandingly as he took the little paper cup from the nurse and lifted it to his lips. He started off taking small sips, but the feeling of the cool water against his incredibly dry mouth and throat were so satisfying that he very quickly finished the cup, accepting with enthusiasm when the nurse laughed and asked if he would care for another. He had gulped down at least three or four of them before she insisted that he also have something to eat. She propped the pillows up behind him so that he could comfortably sit upright, and then disappeared for a few moments before reappearing with a very humble offering: a few saltine crackers with peanut butter slathered on them and a napkin.

“This is all I've got here in the office. It'll help you feel a little better to get some protein into your body, but you'll need to eat a proper meal later this evening, alright? And please, get plenty of rest.”

Baldi took the offering and nodded remorsefully yet again, apologizing for the trouble he'd caused and thanking the nurse for all of her help even after school hours. She told the two that she needed to slip out for a bit, and instructed the principal to make sure Baldi finished his snack and didn't try to push himself to get up so quickly after recovering from fainting. He felt a little like a child, and it did embarrass him to be doted on like this, but there was something undeniably nice about it as well.

After gobbling up his last crunchy treat, he realized how good literally any kind of food tasted when you hadn't been eating much. Those four plain little saltine-peanut-butter sandwiches might as well have been a four-course meal to his deprived taste buds. Licking a bit of excess peanut butter off his fingers, he turned and looked at the other man still sat in the chair beside him, now leaning back and eyeing some of the decor on the wall of the office with a thoughtful frown. He felt somewhat awkward about it, but he figured it would be good to get it out of the way now rather than never, so he broke the silence by clearing his throat softly.

“Ah... Thanks, Kenneth, for, you know... Looking out for me and all. I really owe you one.”

The principal's dark eyes darted to Baldi's own, a humble smile spreading across his face as he raised his hands in protest. “No, no. No need to thank me! I'm just happy you're alright.” He paused, and a look of concern took over his usually cheerful features. “You know, it's not good to be collapsing from exhaustion... Forgive me for prying, but, has anything been going on recently? You've been seeming a bit more tired than usual.”

Baldi clasped his hands together, looking down at them as he twiddled his fingers and sighed that tired sigh again. He didn't like to make others worry about him. It wasn't necessary; they didn't deserve to have to share the weight on his shoulders, not after he'd been carrying it alone for this long. Perhaps he could've done a better job at concealing it.

“I'm...alright. I suppose I just let my work get a little out of hand and forgot that the average human needs to sleep for more than four hours a night to be healthy.” Baldi chuckled, but was abruptly silenced when he felt a hand being placed on his shoulder. A bit surprised, he lifted his head and turned to see that the principal wasn't laughing along but instead looking right at him with a more serious, stern look on his face than usual. He felt the grip on his shoulder tighten slightly, and it made him tense.

“You know, you're always putting up a positive front but I can tell that something is troubling you. If you don't wish to speak about it, that's perfectly fine as it's none of my business to begin with. However, as your boss- no, as a co-worker and more importantly as a friend, I'm concerned for your well-being.”

Baldi just sat still, eyes searching those of the other man and meeting only that same serious tone currently being directed at him. The teacher was caught a bit off-guard at the sudden shift in mood from the other man, as it was slightly out of character for him to be so direct. He usually only brought out this sort of business-like expression and tone of voice when something very grave or serious was happening, and he needed everyone's complete compliance or attention.

“You do know that you can't survive off of coffee and glazed donut holes alone, right?” It was more of a statement than an actual question, implying that he already knew the answer and was prepared to launch into a lecture.

“...It isn't like-...”

The principal sighed. “Calvin, just this week I've seen you running back and forth from the faculty lounge numerous times a day, sometimes as many as seven or eight, with that coffee mug in your hands. We both know that isn't healthy.”

“...Alright. I suppose I can understand where you're coming from.” Baldi gave in, knowing that admitting the problem was the first step, and the principal obviously wasn't going to buy any of his excuses. Why did this concern him so much?

“Good.” Kenneth smiled slightly, a bit of the seriousness falling from his voice. “While I admire your dedication to your work, you are still only human and need to be devoting just as much time to looking after yourself. So with that in mind, you'll drink more water and eat properly from now on?” He asked, looking at the other man expectantly.

“...Yes, I will try to take better care of myself.” Baldi mumbled quietly, looking down at the pure white sheets of the bed he was sitting in. Everything felt far too clean in this room.

"And you'll get more sleep?"

"...Yes."

“Promise?”

“...Yes, I promise.”

“I'm glad to hear it!” Kenneth beamed happily, back to his usual perky self as he gave Baldi's shoulder a pat before finally releasing it. “I wanted to make plans with you to get together and discuss some important matters before this semester ends, but I suppose it can wait. You need rest, and I'm sending you straight home once Mrs. Andersson gives me the okay. ...And you'd better eat a proper dinner; don't make me cook up a bunch of care packages and bring them over, because I will.”

Baldi chuckled along with the principal, rolling his eyes at the “threat”. Admittedly, running off of a diet of mostly energy bars and sugary snacks for the past few days made the idea sound very enticing. “Alright, alright, I get it-...”

He was cut off by a sudden eruption of laughter from the other man, causing him to raise a brow in confusion.

“Huh? What's so funny?”

“Don't worry about it. Here, let me see that for a moment.”

Baldi watched as the principal reached for the napkin placed on the little table beside his bed, grabbing it and lifting it to the teacher's face. Before he could even protest, Kenneth gently dabbed at the corner of his mouth as he continued to chortle to himself. Once he was satisfied, he sat the napkin back down, smirking and folding his arms as he leaned back in his chair still stifling laughter. “Fixed it.”

“...Wha... What was that?” The teacher stuttered a bit, taken aback by whatever bizarre occurrence had just transpired without his consent.

“Sorry, but you had a stray bit of peanut butter on your face and it was really distracting. I couldn't stop staring at it this whole time. Really makes it hard to reprimand you when you look so funny, you know.” The principal continued to snicker, the bewilderment and slight irritation on the other's face only fueling the hilarity of the situation. Just for good measure, he added, “Oh, and you're welcome. I could've let you walk out of here like that, but I didn't because I'm a kindhearted and benevolent boss.”

Baldi felt his eyelid twitching, and he tried to fight the embarrassment he felt bubbling up in his chest. “You could've just told me and let me do it...” He mumbled under his breath.

“But what fun would that be?” Kenneth stood up and pushed his chair over to the wall, moving to stand beside the bed and smiling down at the grumpy teacher. “C'mon, I just like messing with you.” He patted the bald man's shoulder before turning and making his way over to the door, casually whistling a tune as he slowly turned the handle.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought I would go and get your things from your classroom for you. Mrs. Andersson should be back soon, and we're sending you home straight away. Remember?”

Baldi met the Principal's grin with a roll of his eyes, but allowed a tiny smile to pull at the corners of his mouth.

“Yeah, yeah, I know...

Thank you...

Notes:

When you choose the worst times to subtly flirt with your co-worker. Or maybe the best. I dunno, depends on your mood preference I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*dumb little side-note: I made a bbieal side-blog on tumblr where I'll post my art for the game, like my versions of the characters as they appear in this story, and I'm considering making it like interact-able? Like where people could ask them questions and such? I was just wondering if anyone would be interested in that sort of thing. Kind of like an interactive little bonus thing to go along with this fic...? Or would anyone be interested in seeing art of them just in general? I could try to figure out a way to post it here as well, as I've seen it done before, but idk I can try to figure something out... I just thought it could possibly be fun!*

Chapter 6: Stay (Pt. 1)

Summary:

Either the weather is working against them, or with them.

Notes:

I had to split this bad boi into two parts because this particular event ended up being pretty lengthy. I'll post part 2 as soon as I can! Also, if you're interested in the whole "interactive content"/art thing for this fic, there will be more on that in the notes below!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was a peacefully quiet Saturday evening, and Calvin Baldimore sat comfortably slouched in the large wine red armchair next to the window; his favorite seat in his apartment. Surprisingly, the man was actually taking the advice of the school nurse and his boss, and wasn't using most of his Saturday to grade or make plans for his class but was instead using it to relax with a soothing cup of tea and a quite captivating book as he watched the light snow falling gently outside. He could practically feel the bite of the frosty air outside just by looking, but it didn't matter because he had wrapped himself up in a snug, plush green blanket. Maybe they really were onto something; this “resting” thing wasn't quite so bad once you took the time to appreciate it.

He was just about to take a sip of the warm chamomile when the phone on the table beside him began to ring, giving him a bit of a start. He sat the cup back down and gently closed his book, making sure to mark his page properly. “Okay, okay.” He whispered quietly to the impatient ringing of the phone, picking it up by the fourth unyielding ring and lifting the handset to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hello, may I speak with Calvin Baldimore?” An all-too familiar voice sounded from the other line.

“Yes, that's me.”

“Wonderful! This is Kenneth Adrien, in case you hadn't already guessed.” He chuckled quietly. “I'm very sorry to disturb you on a Saturday, but as I mentioned yesterday afternoon there are some things I need to discuss with you in person before next week. Tomorrow isn't a very free day on my end, and I know that it's a bit late, but would it be at all possible for us to meet and have a little discussion this evening? It shouldn't take very long. I understand if you already have plans, or if you're busy with something else. It could be extended to Monday, given the circumstances, and It's perfectly alright if you can't-...”

“Sure, sounds good to me, sir. I'm not doing anything particularly important tonight, so it really isn't any trouble.” Baldi grinned at the principal's nervous rambling, deciding to make this easier on both of them and interject with an answer.

“...Oh, really?” The other man sounded shocked, as though he hadn't been expecting a "yes" in the slightest. He quickly recovered and got back on track, getting to the point of the call. “Yes, well, that's fantastic! I can't tell you how happy I am to get this all sorted out. So, where would you like to meet?”

Baldi thought for a moment, twirling the cord of the phone around his index finger as his eyes gazed out the window towards the grey horizon. “Hm. The weather isn't looking too forgiving outside, and nice quiet places to have a discussion are few and far between during this season... Actually, why not just meet here to talk? It's warm and quiet, and I can give you the address.”

"...You mean... your house?" The principal hesitated for a moment. “Are... are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude...”

“No, no.” Baldi chuckled and shook his head. “It wouldn't be like that at all. I don't mind, really. It could be nice to have a visitor drop in. As long as you're fine with it as well, that is.”

“Oh! Well, yes, that will work, if it's really alright with you! I can try to arrive at around 5:30, is that enough notice?”

“Yes, just stop in whenever you like.” Baldi answered, giving the principal his address and hanging up the phone once everything had been thoroughly confirmed. He stretched in his chair lazily, setting the book to the side and deciding he'd better set some kind of snack offering out so that his boss wouldn't think he was a rude host. Unwrapping himself from the comfort of his blanket cocoon, he stood and began making his way into the kitchen, but didn't get very far before something fuzzy rubbed up against his leg, effectively stopping him in his tracks. He smiled at the culprit and knelt down.

“Aww, Zeta, is it time for your dinner?” He reached out, stroking the purring kitty underneath her chin. She meowed in response, drawing a mirthful laugh from the man as he stood back up and walked to the cabinet. Zeta followed him closely, eyeing his every move as he retrieved her food and went to fill up her bowl. Satisfied by the offering presented to her, she happily sat down and began to eat, leaving her owner to take care of the human food situation at hand.

“Now that that's settled, I wonder what he'd like...”

 


 

 

So this was where he lived. It was a nice little apartment complex, situated in a quite nice little part of town, too. Kenneth made his way up the elevator and down the halls, feeling a little case of nerves bubbling up as he approached what should be the door to the teacher's apartment. He looked down at the little piece of paper he had used to quickly scrawl the address on, making sure that he was at the right door number. He double checked, even triple checked it just in case his eyes were trying to sabotage him. Hesitating for a brief moment, he took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his fluffy dark hair before biting the bullet and knocking a few times on the door. He wasn't sure why he felt so apprehensive, but he tried his best to push that aside and focus on why he had come here in the first place: Serious Work Business.

“One moment!” A muffled voice came from the other side, and he could hear footsteps gradually approaching. The lock on the door turned, and it was opened slowly, just enough for the man on the other side to peek through and see who was there. Once his eyes landed on the principal, he smiled, quickly opening the door the rest of the way and stepping aside.

“Welcome! Glad to see that you made it alright.” Baldi motioned for his boss to step inside, so he did, exchanging pleasantries with the teacher as he stood in the entryway and looked around. The door closed behind him, and Baldi moved to stand next to the small hall closet, motioning to it. “You can just leave your shoes there by the door, and I can take your coat and whatever else you would like to hang up in here.”

The principal nodded, peeling off his many outer layers one by one and slowly looking less and less like a polar bear ready for a wintry expedition. "I know it's a lot, but I get cold easily. My niece likes to make fun of me for it." He laughed, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the amount of outerwear he was removing. Baldi simply laughed and nodded understandingly as Kenneth handed the many layers to him with a "thank you", putting them up in the closet as his guest moved to stand in the entryway to the main room. “You've got a nice little place here.” He smiled, admiring the little trinkets that adorned the shelves and the nicely coordinated furniture. “It's got a very charming feel to it.”

“Well, thank you. I'm glad to hear you say that.” Baldi smiled, walking through to the main room and motioning for the principal to follow. “It's not much, but I like to think that it feels home-y enough. You can have a seat on the couch over there, if you like. I'm going to make some tea, do you want some?”

“Oh, tea sounds lovely if it's not too much trouble!” Kenneth's eyes lit up at the very offer of a nice hot beverage after enduring the unforgiving weather outside.

“Not at all. I'll be right back.” Baldi turned and started to head through the doorway to the kitchen, but stopped when he heard a familiar little meow coming from behind. He peeked over to the couch, watching as Zeta trotted up and eyed Kenneth with a curious little tilt of her head. After deliberating for a moment, she walked closer and began to affectionately rub against his legs while purring softly.

“Oh! And who might you be?” Kenneth chuckled, reaching down and offering a hand to the cat.

“Ah, that's Zeta. She seems to like you; she doesn't warm up so quickly to just anyone who visits.” Baldi grinned, watching as his boss became fast friends with his cat. Letting out a sigh of relief that everything seemed to be going alright thus far, he finally disappeared into the kitchen to begin preparing a mild peppermint tea for himself and his guest for the evening, thinking that it would nicely compliment the light snack he had selected.

 


 

 

“I see. Well, I think that about wraps up our end of semester one-on-one!” The principal smiled and closed the little binder he had brought with him, placing it back into his bag. He lifted his cup of tea, finishing the last of the drink with a satisfied sigh. “See, wasn't that simple?”

Baldi nodded. “It was very simple and to the point. You're incredibly organized, if I do say so myself.”

“Oh, I've been this way for most of my life.” Kenneth chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “I've always been a little bit of a neat freak. On another note, though, your cookies were very delicious!” He smiled, grabbing another from the fancy crystalline bowl on the coffee table.

Now it was Baldi's turn to laugh somewhat awkwardly at the expression of praise. “Well, technically they're the grocery store's cookies, seeing as I didn't quite have enough time to prepare a batch myself. But, I'm glad you enjoyed them nonetheless.”

“Do you bake often?” Kenneth asked, turning the cookie over in his hand as he looked at the teacher with genuine interest.

“Sometimes. I enjoy trying new recipes when I'm feeling stressed or bored and I have the time.” Baldi admitted, fidgeting with his hands and appearing to be in thought as he gazed out the window opposite the two.

Kenneth smiled, imagining what those days in the kitchen might be like. “I see. I'd love to try some of your homemade cookies one day.” Baldi turned to look at the principal, giving him a warm smile.

"Oh, well, sure. That's not too difficult of a request."

"Then I'll be waiting!" Kenneth chuckled and began gathering his things, suddenly looking up uneasily at the clock on the wall. “Well, I feel as though I've loitered here long enough; I wouldn't want to take up any more of your evening.” He quickly gathered his things, standing and lightly brushing stray cat hair off of the front of his pants and sweater. “I should probably get going-...”

“About that...” Baldi stood and walked over to the window, opening the curtains further only to reveal what seemed like a blank white backdrop outside. The snowfall was now so heavy that seeing more than a few feet ahead was nigh impossible. Kenneth cringed at the sight, taking a step back and letting his bag back drop back onto the carpet. 'Oh no...!'

Baldi quickly stepped back over to the coffee table, grabbing the remote and flicking on the old television set. It hummed to life with a static-like noise, and he quickly began flipping through to the local channels. “Here, let's see what the forecast is going to look like.”

{As you can see, temperatures will be dropping into the negatives as we move further into the night, and that snow likely will not let up for the next three or four hours to come. Roads are quite obviously expected to be slick in these conditions, so please be careful and use your best judgment if you must leave for any reason, though we definitely recommend staying inside if you can-...}

“Well, that's certainly not looking good.” The principal frowned, shifting a little uncomfortably on his heels. He hadn't come prepared for this sort of circumstance, because really, what were the odds?

“No, not at all.” Baldi calmly turned the T.V. back off, setting the remote back down and turning to look out at the winter madness. “It's already so late, and I'd hate for you to risk it by getting out there in... well, that.” He gestured to the snow falling aggressively outside the window, shaking his head. “It's going to be dangerous out there. So... Why don't you just stay here for tonight?”


 

 

 

rose

Notes:

To be continued!

I snuck in a little doodle of Rose at the end for y'all because I had a lot of fun drawing her! ^^ I'm going to be posting things like this on my bbieal tumblr, and like I said, you can treat it like an ask blog type thing, come chat with either me or the characters there, or just lurk, I'm cool with whatever lol! :) I think next I will work on drawing ref sheets for each of them to outline their appearances/personalities a bit more. I'll drop the url below for anyone interested! And as always, thanks for continuing to read my fic! <3

(edgikashun.tumblr.com)

Chapter 7: Stay (Pt. 2)

Summary:

Is it better to say nothing at all, or to say too much?

Notes:

Heyo part two! I really wanted to post it sooner than this but I kept going back and forth on it and changing things so I think I've finally gotten it to a point where I'm content with it. ^^

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The principal looked taken aback by the proposal. “Oh, no, I couldn't possibly--”

“Please, it's no trouble. I wouldn't feel right sending you out into a storm as bad as this one.” Baldi turned to his guest, giving him a pleading look full of concern. Kenneth felt his heart twist indecisively; he'd hate to be an added reason for the teacher's stress but staying over at his apartment...? He didn't want to be a burden.

“Calvin, are you sure...? I feel like I'm far overstaying my welcome here...”

“No, I assure you, I don't mind in the slightest.” The teacher turned to the other man with a smile. “It's not like you'll be putting me out or anything. I live alone, so there's plenty of space.”

Kenneth just stared down at his shoes in thought for a moment, mind filling with several different ways things could possibly go wrong before finally giving in with a sigh. “Oh, alright. If you say it's okay.” He lifted his head with a thankful smile and bent to pick up his things. “...Uh, where should I put my bag?”

“Ah, follow me. I'll show you where you can stay for tonight.” Baldi turned and roamed down a short hallway branching off from the main room, reaching the end and opening the door to the right. “And here we are! You'll have the honor of being one of the first in a while to use this guest room, so it's nice and neat.”

Kenneth followed him inside, looking around at the minimal but invitingly decorated room. Everything in the space, including the plush forest green bedspread and the matching drawn curtains seemed to tie in to a refreshingly neutral color pallet. It gave off an atmosphere that instantly felt light and cozy. He set his bag down on the little vintage-looking vanity desk near the door and moved over to the bed, testing it out by taking a seat and flopping backwards into the fluffy comforter. “Ahhh. Just the right amount of soft. And plenty warm, too.”

Baldi chuckled, glad that the room was to his guest's liking. “It's quite comfortable. I've slept on it a few times just for the hell of it.” He caught a glance of the digital clock ticking away on the bedside table, suddenly remembering how quickly the night was drawing in.

“It's getting close to dinner time, so I was planning to start cooking soon. Do you have any recommendations? You are the guest, after all.”

The principal bolted upright, shaking his head and waving his arms in protest. “Oh, no, I couldn't make you go out of your way to cook something just for me.”

“It's no trouble at all! Besides, I didn't really have anything in particular planned for tonight, anyway. You'll be aiding in the decision-making process.”

Baldi was definitely stubborn, standing there grinning widely at the man with his hands clasped behind his back as if to say, 'well, what'll it be?'. Kenneth sighed, appearing to be deliberating something for a moment before looking up at his host with a smirk. “Alright, how about a deal? I'll pick the meal, but you have to let me help you out with the cooking. It's the least I could do.”

“It's a deal, then.” The sweater-clad man laughed, turning back towards the hall. “What do you say we get started? I'm pretty hungry; those cookies weren't quite enough to fill me up.”

“Well,-” Kenneth started, only to have a loud, low rumble effectively silence the both of them for a good moment before the two broke out into a chorus of giggles.

“Alright, so I take it that you agree!” Baldi lead his guest into the kitchen on a cloud of mirthful laughter, flicking on the lights and moving to lean against the speckled laminate countertop. He reached into a little shelf situated next to the stovetop, pulling out a rather hefty looking cookbook. “So, what sounds good to you? There's an unbelievable amount of possibilities in here, so we're sure to find a dish for anything you could possibly pick.”

 Kenneth eyed the book with surprise for a moment, almost astonished into silence that the teacher owned something like it. Baldi would occasionally bring in treats for the faculty lounge, but he hadn't known that the man enjoyed cooking this much. He cleared his throat, walking to stand nearer to the counter.

“How about Italian?”

"Ohh, excellent choice! There's a pasta dish in here that tastes absolutely incredible." Baldi flipped through the pages, finding the one he was looking for and sliding the book across the counter over to the principal so that he could see what the dish looked like once prepared. He turned to grab something else from one of the cabinets, hearing a low whistle coming from the other man once his eyes landed on the delectable looking food.

"I think we definitely have a winner." Kenneth proclaimed, eyeing the page as he daydreamed about the way the pasta would taste. About the way a meal tastes when you've put all of your hard work into it with a good friend. Perhaps staying over was a good idea after all. He looked up to see Baldi holding a bottle in one hand and offering a wine glass to him in the other. He took it, raising an eyebrow and eyeing the label on the bottle. It was a fancy looking white wine.

"How about a drink while we cook?" Baldi asked, opening the bottle with ease and pouring himself a glass. "This wine goes perfectly with the dish we're making, so I figured why not get a head start? I've been saving it for quite a while, anyway."

"Sounds good to me." Kenneth agreed, holding out his glass for the other man to fill. It had been a while since he'd enjoyed a glass of something nice and elegant like this. He brought the glass closer to his face, swirling the golden-toned liquid and wafting its sweet fragrance. He met the eyes of the teacher across from him, and they nodded in unspoken understanding as they brought their glasses together for a quick "clink!", both taking their first sip at the same time. They nodded in approval, and Kenneth indulged in a second taste before setting the glass on the counter beside him and cracking his knuckles.

"Alright, let's get to it."


 

Baldi found himself in a position he had never once thought he'd be in before: sitting in his kitchen chatting and eating a wonderfully prepared dinner that would put any restaurant to shame with... his boss. A meal that he had made, together with... his boss. It was strange, how natural and easy it felt to sit there in the dim light of the kitchen and sip wine while talking over a meal with someone whom he certainly considered a friend but didn't see outside of the school all that often. It was as though they had been doing this every Saturday night for the past four years. Given how lonely the man's dinners at home often were, the idea didn't sound all that bad.

“I must say, you certainly know your flavors!” Kenneth marveled as he leaned back in his chair, having eaten maybe just a bit too much food. “The seasoning was just right even though we decided to go off-book, and the wine you chose to match... Everything was just so delicious!”

“Well,” Baldi smiled, taking a sip of chardonnay and swirling the glass in his hand. He had lost count of which glass he was on long ago. “when you cook most of your own meals for a few years, you start developing a sort of sixth sense for food.” He paused to grab the bottle from the middle of the table, refilling Kenneth's glass and topping off his own as well. “I had an excellent helper for once, too, so that also accounts for the great results.”

“Oh, please.” Kenneth laughed and shook his head, reaching for his glass and taking a long sip. “I live alone myself and yet I can't ever make anything remotely close to this. My meals are always quite basic.”

Baldi shrugged. “It just takes practice, really. My wife taught me a lot of what I know when she was still around, so I suppose that gave me a leg up. Her mother was a very good cook.”

Kenneth looked over at the man who was now staring down into his glass fondly. Cautiously, as though afraid to turn the mood for the worst, he spoke. “Oh... Anne, right? You don't talk very much about her, at least not to me. But it sounds like she was a wonderful woman.”

Baldi nodded, a tiny smile just barely ghosting the corners of his lips. “She was. Beautiful, smart, and so patient and kind... She was everything I needed but didn't deserve.”

Kenneth winced slightly at his last few words, letting their sentiment weigh heavily on his chest as he watched the other man over his wine glass with concerned interest. It threw him off guard slightly when Baldi suddenly stood from the table, collecting both of their plates and making his way over to the sink to rinse them off. In a moment he was back at the table, grabbing his glass and the bottle of wine and motioning for the principal to stand.

“What do you say we go sit in the living room to continue our chat? I figure we'll be a bit more comfortable in there.”

“Oh, sure.” Kenneth stood, bringing his own glass and following Baldi into the other room. He took a seat on the couch, sinking back into the inviting suede. Baldi soon followed after setting the bottle down on the coffee table between them.

“So, is there anything else you wanted to know? I realize I don't open up as often or as much as I should. I don't want it to feel like I'm keeping things from people; that's not my intention at all. It's just a bit... hard for me sometimes.” He admitted softly, deciding he really had nothing to lose if he was going to try and become closer with his peers.

“Well...” Kenneth hesitated, wanting to know more about the man but still fearing prying into something too touchy or off-limits. But perhaps this was his chance. He was getting a free pass to unravel more of the mystery that was Calvin Baldimore, and he was going to take it. He let his eyes drift up and around the room, settling on a framed photo hung high on the wall that he had noticed when he first arrived. Gathering his courage, he allowed himself to ask. “That picture on your wall... I can't help but notice it.” He lifted a finger to point. “That's you, and the woman next to you is Anne, but... Whose baby is that? I don't recall the two of you ever having a child.”

Baldi visibly withdrew a bit, fidgeting with the glass in his hand and looking down at the floor. “That-... The baby... was Anne and I's. Her name was Rosemary.”

Kenneth noticed how the man's voice became a bit quieter than usual, and had it not been for the alcohol cheering him on he probably would have shied away from the topic right then and there. Instead, he felt reckless courage overtake him and he dared to venture on. “...What happened?”

Baldi took a deep breath, taking a sip of his wine and finally looking up to meet the principal's stare. “She... She unfortunately didn't make it past her first birthday. She was born with a very serious deformation in her lungs, and the doctors weren't able to fix it without incredibly degrading her quality of life. She left us just about half a year before Anne passed away, as well. ...In Anne's case, the cancer had advanced to such a stage that her body could no longer keep up despite all of the treatments they put her through. She knew this was coming- she knew it- and yet she always told me to be happy. All she ever talked about in the months leading up to her passing was me finding my peace with it all. She never once worried about herself.”

Kenneth had stopped swirling the glass in his hand moments ago, letting his body fall motionless as his eyes delicately searched those of the other man's. He looked so sorrowful, but at the same time, there was an odd air of indifference around it. It was as though he was trying with all of his might to keep any sort of pain he had sealed away long ago held tight inside his heart. He didn't want to show it, but Kenneth knew it was there. It was definitely there. Letting go of a breath he hadn't realized had been holding, Kenneth placed his glass on the table and inched himself closer to the teacher, reaching a hand out and taking the Baldi's glass from him only to set it on the table as well. He placed his hands firmly yet gently on the man's green sweater-clad shoulders, looking right at him. Into him. Baldi flinched slightly, looking up at his boss with a quizzical stare, but the hand remained there.

“I'm... I'm very sorry for everything you've been through, Calvin.” Kenneth spoke, his voice barely above a whisper. “I think I'm starting to understand now, why you seem so withdrawn at times, and why you let yourself fall apart every now and then. Things haven't been easy, have they?”

He felt the man shudder slightly, going incredibly still before giving a weak shake of his head and drawing in a sharp breath through his teeth. The stinging feeling of tears began to prick his eyes, threatening with all they had to spill over in a fit of years of mostly hidden pain and emotion bubbling to the surface. Kenneth frowned, his brows knitting together tightly in concern at the way Baldi looked like he simultaneously wanted to fall apart and permanently fix himself together.

“Hey, it's alright.” He spoke softly, using a hand to lift the teacher's chin so that he could look directly into his glassy eyes. “You don't have to keep everything bottled up all the time. It will feel better if you just let it out-...”

“No. It's fine, I- I don't need to--”

"-?!"

Baldi began to mutter in protest shakily, but before he could finish he found his face involuntarily buried into the dark, soft floral smelling fabric of his boss's sweater. Kenneth had wrapped his arms around his shorter coworker's shoulders, pulling him close to his chest without any sort of warning. From here, Baldi could hear the principal's heart beating, perhaps a little bit quicker and more jittery than was usual. He felt his own heart speed up in surprise, wanting to say something but not having the chance before his boss continued his lecturing in a quiet whisper.

“Please, just go ahead. You're only hurting yourself by letting it build. Just forget that I'm here.”

A few more shaky, uncertain breaths and he felt the teacher's shoulders begin to shake, and the silence between them gradually gave way to quiet, muffled sobs. Kenneth simply allowed Baldi to cry, not saying anything even when he felt the man ball his fists into the fabric of his sweater. He just held him there, as though he were consoling a child after a scary dream. They stayed like this for what felt like an eternity, and little by little the smaller man became quieter and more still, releasing his tight grip on the other's sweater. Without even thinking, Kenneth leaned down and placed a kiss on the top of his coworker's head. He couldn't help himself, the usually highly guarded and distant Baldi just looked so... incredibly vulnerable for once.

"Hey, Cal..." He whispered softly, no reply coming from the man in question. All inhibitions and rational thought long gone and tossed out the window at this point, the principal began to crane his neck down, closing his eyes and inching his face closer and closer to the teacher's when suddenly a quiet little snore stopped him dead in his tracks. His eyes shot open, and then his expression softened as a dark red shame spread over his cheeks, realization finally beginning to hit him at once.

“He's asleep... Looks like we both had a little too much wine, eh?” Kenneth chuckled, straightening himself back up with a sigh as a little pang of guilt grabbed at his chest. He frowned, feeling absolutely repulsed at himself for getting intoxicated enough to almost cross such a delicate line after Baldimore had invited him to stay at his apartment out of the kindness of his heart and then poured out his soul to him, possibly telling him things he hadn't told anyone else. He bared his deepest and most buried away of emotions to him and he had almost taken advantage of the trust he'd been given. All because of a few (too many) glasses of wine. “God, what was I doing...? You really need to learn to stop while you're ahead, Kenneth.”

The principal was at a complete loss for what to do now. It was rather late, so the both of them should just head to bed and call it a night, forgetting everything that had happened between dinner and now, but Baldi was resting so peacefully on his chest that he couldn't just move and disturb him... He decided to let them stay that way for a few more minutes, listening to the rhythmic breathing and occasional little snores from the teacher while he figured out his next move. He had to admit, the sight of him sleeping like this was rather cute. He knew he could never in a million years speak of this, however, and it would have to remain the principal's own little secret. He decided he was okay with that.

Finally gathering the courage to move, Kenneth gently grabbed the other man's shoulders, slowly peeling him away from his chest. Baldi didn't stir at all, and Kenneth figured he must be out enough that as long as he was very careful he wouldn't wake him. He held his breath as he carefully leaned the man against the back of the couch, allowing himself to stand. He slowly grabbed the glasses and the bottle from the coffee table and quietly tiptoed them into the kitchen, returning to stand in front of his sleeping peer. Being incredibly careful so as not to wake him, he leaned down and slid his arms underneath Baldi's legs and shoulders so that he could lift him from the couch.

“Why does this keep happening?” The principal chuckled quietly to himself, remembering a quite similar incident a mere day before. As he carefully carried the sleeping teacher back to his own room, he noticed once again just how frail and thin his body was, and feelings of concern popped up once again in the back of his mind. As he entered the room, he somehow managed to turn the light switch on with some difficulty before making his way over to the large, comfortable looking bed and laying Baldi gently on top of it. Kenneth adjusted and pulled the covers up and over him, smiling down at the peaceful look on his slightly reddened face (either from the crying or the alcohol, possibly both).

“Get some rest, Baldimore. Good night.” He whispered fondly, walking back to the door and reaching for the light switch once again to darken the room. His hand paused on the switch as he gave one last look at the sleeping man from the doorway, many conflicting feelings bubbling uncomfortably in his stomach and making his head hurt. He whispered something almost inaudible before exiting and quietly shutting the door behind him.

“I'm sorry.”

Notes:

Raise your hand if you've ever had a breakdown fueled by fancy wine and deep talks and soaked your boss's sweater with your own salty tears of anguish and regret before drunkenly falling asleep on his chest because #relatable am I right ladies-

I live for the DRAMA