Chapter Text
Date night was a scheduled event. The second friday of every month. Unfortunately there were many things in life that did not feel the need to keep with Magnus’ schedule. One of those things was the pain. It had no respect for even the best laid plans. It had forced Magnus out of his dancing career and it was now heading a campaign against Magnus’ relationship. He would have none of it.
It started in the morning. Magnus woke to an empty bed and searing pain up his right side. Magnus tried to lift his head but the pain would not allow it. He shifted slightly and called out for Alec. When he got no response he let out a half scream half whimper before forcing himself to sit up.
Sunlight streamed through the windows, the cheerful morning light mocking Magnus’ current situation. He looked down at his body and quickly took inventory. He examined all of the places where it hurt the worst to ensure that it as nothing serious, just fibro. He reached down and put a hand on his right ankle. It was not swollen and the muscles were only a little tighter than they should have been.
Magnus shifted his legs out of bed and tried to stand. At the slightest hint of weight on his right leg it gave out. Magnus crumpled, his head clipping his bedside table on his way down. He bit into his lip in an attempt to keep himself silent. Still when he hit the floor he made a very loud thud. The whole thing was rather dramatic and would have been right up Magnus’ alley, if not for the personal injury.
Still, the day must go on. Or was it the show must go on? With all these dramatics Magnus’ life might as well have been a TV drama. Magnus rolled to his good side and with much difficulty hoisted himself up on to the bed. Once situated he lifted his hand to his head and only found a bump, no dents or signs of bleeding so that was good. He really couldn’t deal with another concussion.
Luckily Alec had been working late last night and left his laptop on the bedside table so Magnus only needed to grab it to get to work. Unfortunately the snack drawer that Alec always kept well stocked for days when Magnus was feeling bad was totally empty. Part of Magnus wished Alec was here so he could have some company and help but a bigger more sinister part of him never wanted Alec to see him like this.
It was that part of Magnus that had kept his ailment from his boyfriend for the first six months they were together. He pretended to have business meetings on his down days. Joked about being lazy when he would randomly sit down in public. It wasn’t until Magnus physically collapsed in front of Alec, screaming in pain, and Alec had tried to call an ambulance for Magnus only to have said man scream at him to put his phone down that the truth was revealed.
“What do you mean don’t call for help Mags? Something’s wrong! Healthy people don’t just collapse.” Magnus flinched at the mention of healthy people. He considered himself healthy. He worked out whenever he could, he ate right, but he was far from healthy and it killed him. Alec looked down at Magnus imploring him for some sort of explanation.
“I have fibromyalgia. I get intense and random joint pain and it can be caused by physical activity.” Magnus looked down, partially because the pain was spreading and he couldn’t lift his head and partially because he didn’t want to watch Alec abandon him. People didn’t want to be their partner’s caretaker. It had happened to many times before and Magnus really liked Alec. But instead of footsteps retreating or some half assed excuse of needing time to think Alec jumped into action.
“Can I touch you? Will that make it worse?” Magnus steeled himself and looked up at Alec inquisitively. Magnus informed Alec that touch didn’t usually bother him and Alec scooped him up. Magnus didn’t know what to think as his boyfriend carried him home, asking him questions about how to best help the whole way.
Magnus knew that Alec wouldn’t judge him or think less of him when he saw Magnus at such low points. Still he was reluctant to let anyone in when he felt so bad. Being vulnerable was difficult. Especially being vulnerable with your body. Magnus stole a sideways glance at his phone and considered calling Alec who would no doubt drop whatever he was doing to come help Magnus however he could. Magnus was halfway through opening his phone when he got the notification.
Today: Date Night
Magnus wanted to scream. To reach in and pull his own nerves out. He couldn’t tell Alec that something was wrong or Alec would insist on canceling their date night. This was something Magnus had been looking forward to for weeks. It was Alec’s turn to plan it and he was always so thoughtful and amazing and Magnus couldn’t take that away from him just because his muscles and joints were a little achy. So Magnus resigned himself to work through the pain.
It was around noon that Magnus realized the pain had died down. He instantly shot up, wanting to take this instance to shower and ready himself before the next wave hit him. He had undressed and was about to step into the shower when his phone started to ring. Seeing it was Alec he picked up.
“Hello darling!” He tried to put on his best cheerful voice and mask the fact that the only thing he had vocalized that day were screams of agony.
“Hey Mags. I just got on lunch break and I thought I’d call. Are you ready for tonight?” Magnus glanced through the bathroom door to the mirror that was quickly fogging over.
“Yes of course dear! Don’t you know me?” Magnus lied through his teeth. Alec seemed to sense that something was off because he went silent for a moment.
“Are you ok Magnus? Do you need to rest tonight? You know all you need to do is tell me.” Magnus flinched at how understanding his boyfriend was being but shook his head before remembering that Alec couldn’t see him.
“No no dear! I’m fine. I’m just excited for tonight.” Alec was clearly not convinced but he didn’t push Magnus any further. They spoke about Alec’s work before Magnus made an excuse and hung up so that he could finally take his shower.
“Love you Mags.” Magnus smiled to himself and returned the sentiment before hanging up and stepping into the bathroom.
The shower was completely handicap accessible, at least that’s what Magnus had been told when he decided to have the shower installed. Truth was it was a hassle when his legs weren’t cooperating. It had a seat on the opposite wall of the shower head so the water fell lamely on his legs unless he pulled the shower head off and then he had nowhere to put it while he was trying to put in shampoo or conditioner. Still it was nice to be able to sit down if he needed to so Magnus tried to keep his complaining to a minimum. Of course the one time he had voiced his annoyance to Alec it had lead to Alec suggesting to bathe him and much dirtier events occured.
After an agonizingly long shower Magnus hobbled his way out to his vanity table right outside of the bathroom. He sat down and began to pull out his makeup. He went through his normal steps until he got to eyeliner. He looked at the pen in his hand and observed how it shook and trembled. He put the eyeliner back down and went for eyeshadow. He had become accustomed to adapting to days when he didn’t have full bodily control. He went for a smokey eye look and decided to add some black lipstick to draw attention away from how sloppy his eyes were.
As he was finishing up he heard Alec walk through the door. He shot up and winced before walking to greet his boyfriend.
Alec was toeing his shoes off at the door when he saw Magnus approach. He walked up to Magnus and gave him a tight embrace, lifting him slightly before setting him back down on his aching legs. Magnus tried to hid his discomfort but it was hard to hide things from someone who knows you so well.
Alec stopped and took in Magnus’ appearance and frowned.
“No liner?” Magnus internally cursed Alec for knowing him so well but quickly tried to cover.
“I was going for a night time look.” Magnus smiled and brought his hands up to frame his face. This didn’t fool Alec who took three steps back from Magnus.
“Walk to me Mags.” It wasn’t a suggestion and Magnus knew that Alec knew, still Magnus held on to his resolve and tried to fake it to salvage date night. He took one step forward and he was on his second when his leg decided it was done and he lost his balance, falling into Alec’s waiting arms.
Magnus broke. Tears of pain and bitterness and hatred of himself started to fall onto Alec’s work shirt. Magnus clutched onto Alec and sobbed into his chest as Alec stood steady and calm. His arms tightened around Magnus then he shifted to lift Magnus up.
“I’ve got you.” Alec whispered as Magnus wept. He carried Magnus back to their bed and laid him down. He went to check the drawer and when he found it empty he gave Magnus a disappointed look. But instead of scolding Magnus for not calling him he just left to the kitchen and came back moments later with a health smoothie and protein crackers. He handed the smoothie to Magnus and started to methodically open each cracker packet and hand those to Magnus as well. Magnus drank and chewed and watched Alec do all of this in silence.
After he swallowed the last bit of the drink he set the cup on their bedside table and looked down at his lap. He lifted a hand to wipe tears away and it came back smudged with makeup. Alec was up and back again in a flash with makeup wipes. He gently lifted Magnus’ head and began to methodically wipe all the makeup away. Magnus’ eyes flitted everywhere but Alec’s face, reluctant to face the idea of hurting Alec after trying so hard to make this not his problem.
When Alec was done he tossed the wipes into the bin and looked up at Magnus, “I rented a movie for tonight, and I convinced Jace to pick us up a meal from that italian place you like. I thought it would be best to stay in this time. You’ve been a little off all week.” Magnus found himself close to tears again. Alexander was the most thoughtful and amazing person he had ever had the pleasure of loving.
“I love you Alexander.” Magnus whispered before pulling him in for a soft kiss. Alec smiled into it and pulled away slowly.
“Please.” His gaze was soft but determined and Magnus knew what he meant.
“Please tell me next time”
“Please ast for help”
“Please don’t leave me in the dark”
“Please tell me when you’re hurting.”
Magnus wanted to promise that he would, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t go to Alec every time he had an issue. He needed to be independent. Maybe just a little less independent. So he gave Alec a sad smile and nodded.