Chapter Text
Unknown: I need help.
Unknown: image received
Unknown: I think he’s dead.
Bakugou: what the fuck????
Bakugou: who the fuck is this????
Unknown: ...
Unknown: you’re not Midoriya
Unknown: fuck
Unknown: excuse me ignore that.
Bakugou: um??????!!!!!
Bakugou: no??!?!?
Bakugou: who the fuck did u kill wtf?!
Unknown: you’re a very,,, loud texter
Bakugou: stop changing the subject
bitch!!
Bakugou: im calling the police
Unknown: don’t!!
Unknown: hes fine now
Bakugou: strange how I don’t fucking believe u??
Bakugou: fuckin weirdo
Unknown: excuse you
Unknown: I was sparring with this guy & he collapsed & I thought he died
Unknown: turns out it was just
overexertion
Unknown: I made his drink water & he’s fine now
Bakugou: he better fuckin be
Bakugou: I still don’t really believe u
Unknown: can’t really do more than that sorry ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Bakugou: whatever
Bakugou: bye weirdo
Unknown: ....
Unknown: goodbye
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Bakugou: image sent
Bakugou: should I report him
Shitty hair: bakubro?? Talking to people willingly??
Shitty hair: shook(tm)
Bakugou: FUCK OFF SHITTY HAIR I TALK TO PEOPLE
Shitty hair: ...sure bro
Bakugou: fuck off this is why I never talk to you
Shitty hair: ....
Shitty hair: ....
Shitty hair: .............
Bakugou: fuck you
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Bakugou: im proving a point
Unknown: ??? Um
Unknown: what?
Bakugou: fuck you im talking to you to prove a point
Unknown: ....good to know I guess
Unknown: wait you’re not like 12 are you
Bakugou: I’m not telling you my age creepy stalker
Stalker: well I’m not talking to a 12 y/o so..
Bakugou: ...
Bakugou: im 17
Stalker: bitch me too tf
Bakugou: That better not be a vine reference.
Stalker: ....lmao
Bakugou: you’re as fucking bad as Pikachu & Tape dispenser
Stalker: I don’t know who they are but I will respect them
Stalker: also A freaking + naming skills there mate
Bakugou: of course you fucking would
Stalker: you curse a lot I’ve noticed
Bakugou: and???? What’s it to you if I do??
Stalker: can u maybe chill son
Stalker: it was just an observation
Bakugou: I’m not a child fuck off!!!
Stalker: ....
Stalker: you have as much calm as a rabid chicken
Bakugou: WHAT THE FUCK
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Bakugou: image sent
Bakugou: HES SO FUCKIN RUDE
Shitty hair: AASJFJALAJFJFLSD
Shitty hair: I love this boi!!
Shitty hair: wait are they a boy?
Bakugou: ....
Bakugou: fuck if I know
Shitty hair: a+ conversation skills
Bakugou: I will beat your ass shitty hair don’t test me
Shitty hair: I know this & I love u
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Stalker: did I offend you
Stalker: sorry?
Bakugou: fuck off I was talking to my friend
Bakugou: he wants to know what gender you are
Stalker: um why?
Bakugou: idfk??!?!
Stalker: well I’m a boy u can tell your friend
Bakugou: great thanks
Stalker: I can feel the sarcasm radiating off that text
Bakugou: good
Stalker: damn man
Stalker: wby
Bakugou: what about me??
Stalker: ...what gender are you
Stalker: I’m going to guess boy
Bakugou: and if I am??!
Stalker: I win
Stalker: yay
Bakugou: youre so weird
Stalker: thank you
Bakugou: whatever
Bakugou: I’m going to work out
Bakugou: bye weirdo
Stalker: see ya~
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Bakugou: he’s a guy.
Shitty hair: eyyyyy
Shitty hair: is he gay
Shitty hair: u coulda just found a date my man
Bakugou: what the fuck shitty hair????
Bakugou: fuck off he’s straight
Shitty hair: did he tell u that tho
Bakugou: he hasn’t even told me his
name why the fuck would he tell me his fuckin sexuality
Bakugou: not everyone is as fuckin weird as u
Shitty hair: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
Shitty hair: u kno it bakubabe
Bakugou: I’m going to fu king kill u
Bakugou: Run
Shitty hair: lmao bro u wouldnt
Shitty hair: bro
Shitty hair: NONONMOVKF BAKUHGO IM SORRY STOP CHADSINF ME
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Stalker: wait u never told me ur name
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Bakugou: why the fuck were u awake at 3am????
Stalker: insomnias a bitch
Stalker: im Shinsou btw
Bakugou: ...
Bakugou: Bakugou
Stalker: Bakagou
Bakugou: WHAT THE FFU K