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They met on October 31st, 2015-- a halloween party hosted off campus in Hoseok’s tiny apartment; the air was tight and smelled like weed, it was packed wall to wall with bodies of people in costumes ranging from slutty bottles of mustard and ketchup to anpanman to people who threw together a half-assed cat with eyeliner drawn whiskers across their flushed cheeks. Twinkling lights in oranges and purples were haphazardly pinned to the ceiling by Hoseok and Namjoon, crisscrossing and flashing brighter, softer, brighter , casting hazy shadows on the bounce of bodies in the center of the room that moved in time with stupid songs like Ginuwine’s pony or bump and grind by R Kelly-- it was sexy and silly and a blur. It was the way that every kid imagine’s university to be like, a mess of not-quite-adults and no-longer-kids biting one another’s necks in the corner of the dim room, attempting to shotgun a can of beer that ends up doing nothing other than making a huge fucking mess all over you and the floor, a tangle of limbs on the couch as a joint is passed back and forth. It was all expected.
What Yoongi didn’t expect, though, was Taehyung.
There was no way of preparing for someone like Taehyung, no amount of liquor or weed could prepare Min Yoongi for Kim Taehyung who was all big boxy smiles, tanned skin and loud laughs-- he hung like a wet noodle off of Jimin, head falling backwards in a way that made Yoongi want want want . And maybe it was the last hit from Hoseok’s dragon shaped pipe or maybe the bottle of pineapple soju that he forgot to share with Seokjin but he wanted -- wanted to know what made Taehyung laugh, he wanted to hear it next to his ear, he wanted to know how the drink in Taehyung’s ambiguous red cup make his tongue taste. He wanted . God he wanted to know where he even came from, he didn’t understand how Taehyung could appear at Jung Hoseok’s halloween party already friends with the ones he spends all of his time around. With Namjoon and Seokjin, hanging off of Jimin and Jungkook, piggy-backing Hoseok in some stupid race with two boys from Yoongi’s weird elective botany class. Kim Taehyung existed before Yoongi could even grasp the idea of him, and the fact that someone as sinister looking as Taehyung existed without Yoongi knowing really, truly was not fair.
Kim Taehyung was wearing a costume that could almost pass as not a costume at all; he, Jimin, and Jungkook looked like they all three simultaneously stepped out of the movie Grease . They were all tight blue jeans cuffed at the bottom, fitted black t-shirts(that Jungkook most definitely tore the sleeves off of), and black converse on their feet and stupidly attractive leather jackets. Their hair was parted to the side and out of their eyes which were lined with dark kohl, smeared in a way that was on purpose and not on purpose. It was a baneful look for anyone who had fucking eyes and any sort of sexual attraction meter-- the three of them were striking in their own rights, sexy and boyish , but Taehyung, who was all collar bones and glistening skin and sharp eyes… was pure want .
“You’re drooling.”
It felt like a record skipped inside his head and Yoongi had to count to three before he could pull his eyes off of Taehyung to look at Seokjin. “What?” He said, his own voice sounded distant, far away in his own ears. The lights pulsed and a ridiculous fog machine spewed out white clouds that danced over Yoongi’s ankles from where he sat on the couch, it sent a chill up his spine.
Seokjin sipped his beer, eyes heavy and lidded, thick lips turned up in a smirk. Kim Seokjin was dressed as an angel in a flowy white top and horribly cute white choker, he began the night, also, with a pair of wings that got ditched and forgotten two hours ago and are probably gone forever. That whole costume in and of itself was only half suited for the guy, being that on occasion he was most definitely not an angel, however somewhere in the apartment Namjoon is dressed as a devil and that explained that. “I said you’re drooling. I can be more specific if you’d like; you are drooling while watching our little Tae lick salt off of Jimin’s neck.”
Okay, yeah, that is what happened, they were taking tequila shots. Salt, tequila, lime, in that order. Or in Taehyung’s case it was lick salt off of Jimin’s neck, tequila, suck the lime out of Jimin’s teeth between two fascinatingly thick lips and a dart of his tongue. Yoongi’s mouth had gone dry when it was Jimin’s turn, licking a wet expanse along the literal shining column of Taehyung’s golden neck. “I am not.” Yoongi answered, very apparently staring. “Who is he?”
Seokjin leaned back into the couch cushions, his eyes fell shut though he didn’t miss a beat when a kid named Jinyoung passed him a joint from his left side. “Kim Taehyung, he’s a second year.”
“Uh-huh, where did he come from again?”
Seokjin kind of laughed at Yoongi, one eye cracking open at him with a quick raise of his brow. “Dunno, he’s always been around. I think he graduated with Jimin but he didn’t start hanging around until Hoseok found him outside his dance club at their orientation last year. Sorta stuck like glue after that.”
Yoongi nodded, watching Taehyung’s lips wrap around the rim of a shot glass, he tipped it back effortlessly. “Right.” How was it possible that Yoongi had never met Taehyung or fuck even heard of him before? He was confused, his brain felt like popcorn, each and every kernel was bouncing off the inside of his skull and probably the only solution had been another swig of his soju. It didn’t really help but Yoongi drank again, anyway, his spine felt like pudding but that was okay. He liked pudding.
“You scare him.” Seokjin shrugged, answering the question Yoongi never asked. “Always says that you look like you’re going to eat people.”
Eat people? Yoongi wasn’t an animal, he was perfectly innocent. “I don’t eat people, Jin.” He gaped.
Seokjin gestured to his person, “Are you not dressed as a vampire?”
“Coincidence.” Yoongi griped, fingers wrapping and unwrapping around the neck of his soju bottle.
“It’s fitting, you do eat people’s hearts for fun--”
“I do not--”
“You’re a chronic heartbreaker, it’s not your fault, you just are.”
“I am not--”
“Yes you are. You don’t mean to do it-- it isn’t your fault that you’re the bermuda triangle of relationships.” Yoongi shot him a scowl. “You aren’t evil or anything, you just look like you are. So small and angry.”
Offended and slightly flabbergasted, Yoongi needed to set down his drink so he could focus four hundred percent on Seokjin, he put his soju down on the coffee table and faced him. “Jin, I do not break hearts and I am not small and angry.”
“You are small--”
“Shut up, Jin.”
“Okay. I know, we know that you aren’t an evil organ eating monster, in fact you’re a big softy. However you do look like you’re going to eat him right now and that’s probably why he hasn’t come over to say hello to his favorite hyung AKA me.”
Yoongi stared at him, “Rude?”
Seokjin sat up fully for the first time in at least half an hour, eyes still heavy with rose petal cheeks. “You should just go say hi, then he won’t be so scared of you and he’ll actually show up to lunch and stuff while you’re there.”
It was a weird idea, that Taehyung knew who Yoongi was, that he existed in that mind to some degree already. That he was scared of him-- it wasn’t exactly how he wanted Taehyung to think of him, as scary or a heartbreaker. He wanted Taehyung to laugh with him the way he had been currently laughing with Hoseok and Jungkook, he wanted to be the one shotgunning a hit from the pipe against his tongue, he wanted to lick the salt off of his neck or suck the lime from beneath his teeth. God Kim Taehyung was so devastatingly beautiful, orange and purple light bounced off of his high nose and cheekbones, his too tight t-shirt and jeans that hugged his hips and thighs, it truly was sinister and want want want . His eyes looked sharp and dazed, filled with the spark of youth that everyone craved, smile so happy that fuck Yoongi felt it from where he sat.
He didn’t know when Seokjin actually left, but he was alone on the couch, save for Jinyoung who had long since passed out. Yoongi grabbed his bottle and stood, his legs shook slightly, there was a wobble in his step that made him grin as he wove through a mass of people, familiar and un the like. There was a feeling that sat in his stomach, hungry and needy, warm and confident and content; youth . Before he could blink or after he had blinked many, many times he was dragged into an embrace, a warm, fruity vodka and tequila smell that radiated from Jimin’s hug. It was tight and soft, Jimin refused to let him go, latched on like a stupidly lovable parasite.
“ Hyung.” He drawled, he pulled away just enough to grin lazily at Yoongi.
Yoongi grinned back, “Jiminie.” He responded, voice dialected like Jimin’s though with the hint of Daegu instead of Busan. When he got pulled from Jimin and into the shared hug of Hoseok and Jungkook he could feel the eyes on him-- sharp and dark and hot . It made sweat pill on the back of Yoongi’s neck, just knowing that there was someone that was watching him.
“Where’ve you been hyung?” Jungkook had his arms wrapped around Yoongi’s neck, tilting slightly back, just enough to force Yoongi to hold him up. “We missed you!”
The excitement around Yoongi’s arrival disappeared only half as fast as it came and there he sat, hopped up on the small island in the center of Hoseok’s small kitchen, his feet dangled and he kicked the air softly. He watched Hoseok do the counts to Touch My Body-- “It’s boom, boom, BOOM .” He turned around and shook his hips, “Like that. Then--” he turned Jimin around, standing right behind him. “ Slap, slap, sLAP-”
Yoongi was laughing, head fallen back and he probably sounded like a cat coughing up a hairball but he was happy, completely content with watching his friends dance to a silly seductive girl group, content where he was. He was warm and for a while he had thought it was because of the bottle of soju in his system or the hit he just took, so it startled him when he felt movement against his side. It had been a body there, keeping him physically warm, he just hadn’t noticed until it moved-- until Taehyung moved. Suddenly Yoongi was too hot and the music was too loud, there were too many people, too much Taehyung.
“Hi.”
He wasn’t sure what kind of voice he expected Taehyung to have, but it definitely wasn’t that . Deep, deep like the yellow sea, rough and rocky like a waterfall, raspy in a way that opposed his weirdly(adorably) boyish features. It was unexpected-- but Yoongi never expected anything about Taehyung.
“I’m Taehyung.” He said. Soft, but loud, loud enough to be heard over the commotion of their friends(whoever told them it was a good idea to do body shots was very, very wrong. Namjoon appeared out of thin air with a wave of disapproval at the sight of Jungkook licking a puddle of vodka out of the planes of Jimin’s stomach, Seokjin had to bodily prevent him from pooping on the party). Yoongi didn’t look at Taehyung at first, it took a moment for his physical body to catch up to his mental body, for them to get in sync again.
“I know.” Yoongi answered, he knew Taehyung was watching him, so he turned and watched back. At the time Yoongi had no idea how he looked, he didn’t know that his dark red eyeliner had smeared ever so slightly beneath his eyes, he didn’t know that his dark hair stuck up in little tufts around his head or that the fake blood that trailed from his lips had snuck down his chin and painted his neck with deep lines of crimson. He didn’t know why Taehyung looked at him like he was something more than what he was, he didn’t know why Taehyung didn’t look away when Yoongi stared him dead in the eye.
“You know?” Taehyung quirked an eyebrow. Yoongi had gotten the feel that Taehyung wasn’t normally that confident, no, not confident. Forward, perhaps. But he had been drinking for as long as Yoongi had watched him, which was a lot for a long time; Taehyung had liquid courage that coursed through his veins, that made his cheeks pink and had him sitting up straight, a heavy hand rested on Yoongi’s knee as though that was where it was always supposed to be.
“I do now, I didn’t before tonight.” Yoongi replied, he felt Seokjin watching him, felt his eyes boring into the side of his head, it burned a hole through his cheek, they were knowing eyes, as they always were and always had been. Yoongi dared a glance at Seokjin, found him hanging off of Namjoon with something short of a grin aimed at Yoongi, Yoongi grinned back. The bodies flitting around them went fast and slow, the voices filled his head and jumped in one ear and out the other, it was distant but his friends were loud. They laughed at something Yoongi hadn’t heard, they fell into one another and Taehyung’s hand tightened around his knee and something in the air made Yoongi grin-- the lights flashed like a photobooth, fireworks exploded behind Yoongi’s closed eyes, the air was thin and thick and young . It smelled like youth and Yoongi was drunk on it. “You hid from me?”
“No I didn’t.” Yoongi opened his eyes and Taehyung was still watching him, a hint of a smile tainted his lips. Dangerous lips, dangerous eyes, a kind, soft face. Kim Taehyung was a walking oxymoron. Sweet and salty. He seemed larger than life but somehow so much smaller next to Yoongi. Yoongi made a face that he hoped translated to liar , Taehyung smiled wide at that, a rectangle of teeth appeared and forced his eyes into cute little crescents. “Maybe I did, you’re scary.”
“You think I eat people?”
There were fingers that danced slowly, carefully, testing on the pale skin of his neck, dabbling in the faux blood, Taehyung dragged a finger down to the juncture of his collarbone where a set of painted on bite marks slept. “Don’t you?”
Yoongi felt like he was tripping on the sky, like he couldn’t catch his breath. The bottle of soju was empty, he had to steal the bottle of beer that Jimin was pretending to drink(he hates beer) just to give himself something else to focus on. He looked at Taehyung again, the stone features of the liquid confidence seemed to have faded, he looked like nothing more than a boy with a mess of eyeliner smeared around his face. Innocent. Soft. “Not on purpose.” Yoongi answered after a long drink.
“Mm.”
“I didn’t mean to scare you.” Yoongi said, and he didn’t know why he did. Min Yoongi never really gave a shit if he scared people, he didn’t care if they liked him and he didn’t care what they thought of him. He had his friends, be it there weren’t that many but they were there and they were all he needed; he could hardly care less that he scared some nineteen year old second year away. But he did. He cared. He didn’t want to scare Taehyung. “I won’t eat you.”
Taehyung appeared to sigh, shoulders rose and fell slowly. “Promise?”
Yoongi shrugged. “Promise.” The two of them watched their friends start a game of beer pong, though it should probably have been water pong, they were all drunk and stoned and young . Jungkook and Jimin both had ditched their leather jackets, Hoseok’s race car driver outfit was unzipped, white undershirt visible with his hair an unbelievable mess upon his sunshiney head. They were a disaster, but Yoongi was fond.
“That is quite the promise.” Taehyung hummed, voice so deep and languid.
Yoongi had to look back at him, had to read his face, had to gather his thoughts. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“So don’t.”
--
“Hoseok hyung will kill us if we’re found.”
“You’ll just have to be quiet then, won’t you?”
Moments had passed in the kitchen, they ticked by slow then fast then slow, fast fast fast but nobody had known the time because the amount of people present never seemed to change. But somewhere in the madness Yoongi and Taehyung made an escape, they dizzied and danced through the groups towards Hoseok’s bedroom, it was small and hidden down a short hallway and just for the occasion, was locked. But Hoseok had locked it to prevent strangers from getting in, not Yoongi, and he simply stowed the key on the top of the door frame, the same door and same frame that he had pressed Taehyung up against.
The younger boy had his back pressed against the closed door, he watched Yoongi down his nose; he had a horrible couple of inches over Yoongi, a fact that irritated Yoongi but also intrigued him, made him curious and lustful for the type of dynamic that they could potentially have. Yoongi hadn’t been able to stop looking at him-- Taehyung had deep eyes, they gleamed in the dark bedroom that was only illuminated by an IronMan night light in the corner of the room; the pale gold light looked good on Taehyung, he had been all sharp angles and eyes eyes eyes and short breaths, gaspy and airy. Two hands had found Taehyung’s cheeks, cupped them softly and Yoongi felt like he had lost his mind, that he had lost it somewhere back in the living room and it’d probably never be found because that was just what Taehyung did to him.
“What if I don’t want to be quiet?” Taehyung had said, smiling so hard that Yoongi, on pure impulse, stroked the pad of his thumb across the apple of Taehyung’s cheek; he had been in awe that someone like this existed.
Yoongi licked his lips, watched Taehyung watch him do so. “I suppose I can’t force you.” He didn’t want Taehyung to be quiet, ever, never again would there been a point when Yoongi felt like he didn’t want to hear Taehyung-- gasps or laughs or moans for the love of god. “But you should try, y’know, for our sake. Hoseok will rip my balls off and probably kill you with them.”
Taehyung laughed heartily, broad chest shaking where it was pressed against Yoongi’s. “Sexy.”
Yoongi beamed and they locked eyes, the short space between them, between their faces, felt like static. The air that surrounded them was so heavy and warm , it was right. Taehyung was right, and right then Yoongi had leaned in, filled the gap between their lips with a quick press, daring but careful. The whole night Yoongi had wondered what Taehyung tasted like, the answer was everything . He tasted like passion and youth, a hint of strawberry and tequila, a ghost of desire that Yoongi found across his lips. Yoongi kissed Taehyung so painstakingly slow, taking his time; kissing Taehyung felt like sipping a waterfall, the warmth of his plump lips against the rosebud of Yoongi’s released some of the pressure in his chest that he had felt all night-- the need the want the youth. He had still been cupping Taehyung’s face, the younger by that point had curled a fist in the fabric of Yoongi’s black shirt, the other rested delicately on his hip, long fingers teased the pale expanse of the exposed sliver of skin.
The entire night was spent desiring Taehyung, wanting him, needing him. Now that Yoongi had had him he felt no rush, languidly moved his lips from Taehyung’s to the flesh of his neck that had been screaming for him all evening. “Where have you been, Taehyung.” Yoongi whispered, lips hidden in the juncture of his collar bones.
Taehyung trailed the hand from Yoongi’s hip to rest in his hair, he curled the dark strands around his fingers. “Waiting.” He answered, voiced rasped and ready. “I was waiting for you.”
Yoongi kissed a trail along Taehyung’s skin, nipped at the sensitivity behind his ear, ghosted a soft lick across the red bruise that bloomed in his wake. Taehyung moaned softly, right into Yoongi’s ear-- want want want , Taehyung wanted what Yoongi needed, he sucked another bruise onto Taehyung; he wanted people to see, wanted people to know that he had Taehyung, that he will not give him up and he had to prove it. “I was waiting for you to notice me.” Taehyung had gasped, his head fell back against the door when Yoongi fitted a knee between Taehyung’s thighs, pressed against the hardness that had threatened his horribly tight blue jeans. For the first time Yoongi felt Taehyung, felt the true desire. He felt it against his thigh that he dutifully pressed against Taehyung, allowing him to grind against the touch with unhurried but lewd grinds of his hips.
“I’m sorry I didn’t notice you sooner,” Yoongi said, he rolled his hips as he did so. The two of them moaned in time together, the touch was so good, was so much, Yoongi felt light headed as though he needed to look away from Taehyung but it was impossible. He was beautiful. Ethereal. Golden, soft and hard, with sweat glistening his deadly neck, hair estranged and bite marks littered his skin. His eyes were heavy lidded, pupils were blown wide, noticed by Yoongi even in the dark, the sight made him moan loud against Taehyung’s tongue. There wasn’t a fight for dominance, Taehyung let him have it, was pliant and allowed Yoongi to suck his bottom lip into his mouth, curl around his tongue and lick across his teeth; it stopped being slow, moved faster, grew more desperate. “ Taehyung.” He breathed.
Taehyung rolled his hips against Yoongi, moaning so dangerously, eyes closed. When they opened they were nowhere but Yoongi. “ Yoongi.”
Hoseok’s bed wasn’t the most comfortable, but when Taehyung fell on his back across the mattress, pushed down by Yoongi’s hard kiss, neither of them cared. There wasn’t a care in Yoongi’s mind at that time unless it was Taehyung; he cared about Taehyung’s lips, his eyes, his devastatingly tight thighs and the hardness of his cock beneath his jeans. But Yoongi cared, too, about the way Taehyung looked at him, the quick way that smiles flashed at him or that his smart eyes softened around the edges when they spoke in the kitchen. Yoongi cared about the way Taehyung lit up when he talked about the baby raccoon he rescued earlier that week-- he wanted Taehyung but god did Yoongi just want him, all of him.
Taehyung laid on his back, watching Yoongi as he knelt over him, thighs on either side of his hips. He was calculated with the way that he pressed his hips upwards against Yoongi, he craved the friction and Yoongi gave it to him, captured his lips against his as he rolled downwards against Taehyung, the hardness of one another together made Taehyung moan. Yoongi swallowed them hungrily with licks into his mouth, more rolls of his hips, more bites along Taehyung’s abdomen. “ Yoongi ,” Taehyung breathed, desperate, large hands pulled softly at the hair at the nape of Yoongi’s neck. “Want you.”
“How do you want me.” Yoongi exhaled, his fingers were already on the button of Taehyung’s jeans, lips captured on one of Taehyung’s pink nipples.
The younger boy groaned softly, hid his face in his arm though it didn’t hide the shy smile on his face. “Really want me to say it?”
“I want to hear you say everything, Taehyung.” Taehyung hummed, interested, he hadn’t protested when Yoongi undid the button and slid the zipper down. “Want to hear you talk about that raccoon you saved or how you actually hate tequila but drink it because Jimin asks you to, Taehyung I’d listen to you talk about what kind of shampoo you used if you wanted.” He cupped Taehyung through his boxers, pulled a horribly arousing breath from between his lips, Yoongi felt his own cock twitch in his pants at the sight and sound, he squeezed softly, flicked his tongue over Taehyung’s nipple again.
“It’s organic.”
Yoongi made a soft noise against Taehyung’s skin, rubbed the heel of his palm in the right away against the hardness beneath his hand.
“My shampoo. It’s organic, orange scented.” Taehyung gasped, his fingers curled tighter in Yoongi’s hair.
“Of course it is.” Yoongi mumbled, not being able to hide his stupid smirk. “You know, I’d also like to hear how you want me to fuck you.” Yoongi added, rising from where his lips were, pulled his hands off of Taehyung’s cock and relished in the whine of protest. He moved slightly, spreading Taehyung’s thighs and settling between them, wrapped Taehyung’s legs around his hips so he could teasingly roll his hips against Taehyung-- simulating what it’d look like to be fucked like this. Taehyung moaned and it sounded like pure sex and it tasted so sweet, Yoongi thrusted slowly and Taehyung lifted his hips to meet him, whining loudly as Yoongi’s clothed hardness pressed against his ass.
“Want to see you,” Taehyung moaned though it sounded half like a plead, “want to watch you.”
There wasn’t a show of removing their clothes then, it was quick, they wanted to be as close as possible as fast as possible. Taehyung’s shirt was flung somewhere to the left, his pants and boxers somewhere to the right, Yoongi’s followed behind and then it was just them , just skin and hardness and softness, gasps and moans. There wasn’t a show of snatching an emergency condom from Yoongi’s wallet, it was a minor detail when the focus had always been Taehyung who was so strikingly beautiful beneath Yoongi, eyes hazy and legs spread, golden skin and messy, boyish hair. Yoongi focused on Taehyung, on making him feel good and wanted , like he was all that mattered in the world.
There was a hand around Taehyung, stroked him slowly, while the free one danced around Taehyung’s lips, prodding inside to wet a finger or two; Taehyung’s tongue was hot and heavy, left a trail of saliva from his lips when Yoongi pulled his fingers free with a lewd pop , Taehyung smirked, hips rose to invite Yoongi to come closer. While Yoongi pressed a slow finger against Taehyung’s tightness he dropped his lips against Taehyung’s, he wanted to taste this, taste how Taehyung felt when he felt his best, savor how his moans tasted while Yoongi’s finger fucked him slowly. He licked lazily into his mouth while moving his finger in and out, curling it here and there while Taehyung writhed beneath him, one hand scratching down his back and the other tugging and twisting at Yoongi’s length. His hips kept bucking to meet Yoongi’s hand, whether it was to get the fingers deeper or harder or the hand around his cock to go faster Yoongi didn’t really know, cared but didn’t care because he was making Taehyung feel so, so good.
“More-- more. ” Taehyung begged, Yoongi obliged. Got his fingers nice and wet and this time pressed two into Taehyung, painfully slow. Every inch of Yoongi’s body had felt like it was on fire as he watched Taehyung, first the wince of the new stretch then the lascivious drop of his thick lips when he got used to the feeling. They kissed messily, it was teeth and spit and so much tongue but so , so delicious with Taehyung moaning into his mouth, short whines as he begged to be fucked and to be taken care of-- Taehyung was too much and not enough, Yoongi felt heat pool up in his cock way too soon as Taehyung sloppily jerked him off, he had to make him stop, he playfully whacked Taehyung’s hand away, answering his soft whimper with a noise that said just wait.
Yoongi lowered his head to Taehyung’s chest again, took his free hand from Taehyung’s hardness and tweaked his left nipple, tongued his right, “ Fuck Yoongi,” Taehyung breathed, breath hitched when Yoongi moved his fingers faster and curled them harder. The sounds that Taehyung made were not fair, he as an entire person was not fair, he was unreal and the earth was not fitted for someone like Kim Taehyung who looked like he could walk on water but looked even better splayed out on a bed for Yoongi; Yoongi trailed nips and small pecks down Taehyung’s torso, sucking at the skin against his hip bone down to the sensitive space right above his cock. His length wasn’t what Yoongi had expected, big , Yoongi was impressed and his mouth watered at the sight of the bead of precum oozing out of the slit, he kitten licked it hungrily.
“Who are you?” Taehyung groaned, hips sputtering as Yoongi took him into his mouth after letting a large drop of wet fall from his tounge and trail down his balls, wetting where Yoongi’s fingers slid in and out. It was enough for Yoongi to tease a third finger wet and Taehyung was pliant and relaxed, even more so as Yoongi licked thick stripes along his shaft, squeezed his balls in just the right way. “O-oh god ,” Taehyung gasped.
“Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t a vampire?” Yoongi said playfully, pressing a short kiss to the head as he slowly worked Taehyung open with three long fingers. The boy was a mess beneath him, writhing, shaking his head whether to the question or the feeling of being finger fucked and jerked off at the same time Yoongi didn’t know.
“Don’t wanna come like this.” Taehyung whispered, eyes opening to find Yoongi already watching him, “please.”
It didn’t take much longer for the condom to find it’s rightful place, for Yoongi to manipulate Taehyung’s legs around his waist in the right way, for him to use his saliva as an abundance of faux lube, to line up and begin to slowly press in. He watched Taehyung the whole time and Taehyung watched him right back, just like earlier that night in the kitchen, challenging . Yoongi found himself half-way to bottoming out when he started kissing Taehyung again, he hadn’t been able to help himself, he wanted to swallow the small noises Taehyung made as he was filled up, wanted to lick them off of Taehyung’s tongue and he did . His hips were flush against Taehyung’s ass and he waited for Taehyung to adjust; Yoongi stroked his cheek softly, kissed his swollen lips with delicacy and determination until Taehyung put two hands on his hips, urging him to move.
At that point Yoongi took a moment to be selfish, he moaned at how tight Taehyung was around him, he took a moment to watch as his cock slid in and out, relish in his own want by slowing his hips and then snapping them forward, pushing Taehyung up the bed and dragging a heat filled moan from his lips and a montra of yoongi yoongi yes yoongi . He couldn’t stop watching, couldn’t stop touching. He touched every bit of Taehyung that he could; his cheeks, his hair, the sweat beaded expanse of his rising and falling chest, his soft hips, toned planes of his stomach down to his thighs. Taehyung’s eyes were pressed shut as he panted, lifting his hips to fuck himself down on Yoongi.
“You’re so beautiful.” Yoongi gasped, steadying himself on one elbow beside Taehyung’s head, the other next to his hip-- their lips barely brushed. “So fucking incredible.”
“ Yoongi --” Taehyung gasped, his lips had feigned a smile and he tried to hide his face with a single large hand, Yoongi slowed his thrusts, grabbed Taehyung hand and pressed it down above his head. Their fingers intertwined and Yoongi held on tightly. “No, let me see you, don’t hide from me anymore.”
Taehyung inhaled sharply at a new angle Yoongi jutted his hips, twitching between their bodies. “M’guna--”
“Come for me, baby. You’re so beautiful, god you’re so pretty Taehyung, such a good boy, so amazing. “ Yoongi cooed, twisting a hand between them to wrap around Taehyung’s cock to tease him into orgasm, he moved his hips faster and harder, he kissed Taehyung through his sporadic moans, held onto his hand tightly as the younger came with a heart racing groan. Taehyung rode out his high until Yoongi had to drop his forehead against Taehyung, his own timing had lost rhythm and he came harder than he ever had before, Taehyung’s name curled on his tongue. Yoongi slowly pulled out, careful careful careful not to cause Taehyung discomfort, his heart raced so fast he felt like it was going to take flight out of his chest and burst through the ceiling into the apartment above Hoseok’s; Yoongi had never come so hard, had never felt so good, he had never been with someone who he felt like he moved with like a dance, whose body fitted his own like a glove, like they were in sync.
They stayed that way, foreheads rested against one anothers, a tangle of hands and legs and exhausted pants, tired smiles and soft pecks, for minutes and minutes. “You’re not very scary.” Taehyung finally said, it wasn’t a question really or even a statement, it sounded like he had just been pondering out loud. “You’re kind of the opposite, you’re comfortable .”
Yoongi hummed, rose an eyebrow, pulled away enough to look at Taehyung. Just as gorgeous as he was ten minutes ago, or an hour or two or three or four ago. “You feel comfortable?” He asked, Taehyung nodded; the condom was tied and ditched on the nightstand, a reminder to not leave behind the evidence, he used one of his socks to clean up Taehyung’s stomach the best that he could.
“It’s weird. You’re comfortable for me.” Taehyung said.
Yoongi nodded, falling down beside him, he dragged the younger boy against his chest, a chaste kiss to his forehead. “As you are for me.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” Yoongi answered. His fingers danced the glistening expanse of Taehyung’s back, left short goosebumps in their wake and sighed deeply. The high and the drunk wasn’t just from liquor and weed anymore, it was Taehyung , Yoongi wanted to run away then and forever if it meant he could have Taehyung, he wanted his youth forever if it belonged to Taehyung, if this is what it was meant to felt like he wanted forever. He wanted their mortal bodies to be intertwined with timeless souls and the thought was loud in his own head; had he lost his mind somewhere tonight? Fallen behind and never found? Probably. But he had still been seeing stars behind his eyes and he thought that he was no longer as fucked up as he was previously and he still, still wanted to give all of himself to Taehyung.
They laid there together for a timeless amount of time, Taehyung cuddled against him, skin still to skin and Yoongi still wanted.
He would always want Taehyung.
--
They didn’t see one another again until December 31st, at precisely 10:37pm, an hour and twenty three minutes before the new year; the months that passed were busy, packed with first semesters exams, an internship at a radio station for Yoongi that took up 30 work hours during his week, Taehyung, an undeclared sophomore with an interest in veterinary, spent days to weeks volunteering at shelters. There just wasn’t time. Lunch breaks never lined up, long weekends without classes were opposite the other. They could have texted, sure. But they didn’t. Any time Yoongi tried there was never the right thing to say, no way to text Kim Taehyung-- he was the kind of person that made you want to sit and hear and see and touch and feel. So they didn’t really speak. A curt hello here and there in the passerby, a short I’m sorry maybe next time when they just missed one another for lunch with the group.
Yeah, they didn’t see one another until December 31st, 10:37pm.
It had left Yoongi feeling different, that night at Hoseok’s. Nothing was enough for him after that, no conversation felt like fireworks or truth, his nights were spent stoned out of his mind or just alone unless Jimin was feeling exorbitantly clingy that night; nothing felt right without Taehyung, it felt like time wasted, time passed and youth drained without the person that made Yoongi close his eyes and just breathe .
Afternoons had been filled with Seokjin’s “just talk to him.” or Namjoon’s “he wants to see you.” to which Yoongi always replied something like “then why won’t he try?” or “then why is he hiding .” and to that, nobody ever had a real answer. Jungkook always told Yoongi was Taehyung was up to, what the animal of the week was; a possum, a squirrel with a broken leg, a stray dog he found wandering the streets that he swore he hadn’t been looking for for days. Each and every time, with each and every story, Yoongi felt that feeling again, it was warm and terrifying and invigorating, and he wanted. Christ did he want. But he didn’t know how. Things with Taehyung had been easy but so difficult, it was like all Yoongi wanted was Taehyung, but Taehyung was the only thing he couldn’t make himself go get-- a horrible mix of if he wanted me he’d come and fear-- painful, striking fear. But of what? Yoongi never knew, never let himself figure it out.
So at 10:37pm, at another stupid party, this time at the slightly crappy house that Namjoon and Seokjin rented, Yoongi sat on a different island in a different kitchen in a different home. A different flavor of soju in his hand, a different shaped bowl between his fingers, different different different but when he saw Taehyung arrive through the front door everything suddenly felt the same. The orange and purple lights were now twinkling yellows and pinks and blues but it still had burned his throat, the feeling of actually seeing Taehyung after so long, the light still reflected off of him like he himself was the source. As usual Taehyung was destructively handsome, a walking war in a pair of black jeans that could kill at glance, a thin yellow top with a drooping neckline and highlighted collarbones, a pair of wide wired glasses rested on his nose; he was a dream and a nightmare as he walked through the crowd, a flashy grin and bright eyes that dimmed just slightly then ignited when he met Yoongi’s. Fire rose in his eyes and he beelined the opposite direction, into the living room and out of Yoongi’s sight.
“You’re an idiot.”
Yoongi looked over his shoulder at Seokjin, lips pursed because he actually thought that Seokjin was an idiot for being right.
“All you two do is pine from a distance, what’s the point?” Seokjin added, he was nursing a wine cooler that Yoongi knows were actually purchased for Taehyung.
“I don’t pine.”
“Yes you do, it’s horrible and sort of pathetic.”
“I am not pathetic .” He was. He was indeed very, very pathetic. But he hated when other people brought it to attention, he never needed to be reminded of how stupid that he was.
“It’s been months , Yoongi.” Yoongi gave him a look that said your point . Seokjin rolled his eyes, “He thinks all you wanted to do was fuck him, he thinks you wanted to have sex with him and that’s all--”
The sudden urge to vomit overwhelmed Yoongi, he set down his drink, he tried to kick back the nausea with a hard swallow. “That’s not what I want, I don’t-- I never wanted just that.”
“You fucked him in Hoseok’s bed and then he never heard from you again, how exactly do you think that looks on your part?”
Not good probably, Yoongi had thought, terrible actually.
“I promised I wouldn’t hurt him.” Yoongi said, quietly, though Seokjin still heard. His features had softened at that, falling into a sorry frown.
“Do you think you did?”
Yes .
--
It was cold outside, bitter enough to reach Yoongi’s bones even though he had been bundled head to toe, even a scarf was wrapped thickly around his neck, snowflakes fell from the sky it dime sized tufts. The ground they had landed on was already a foot high and was only going to get higher; Yoongi stood under the crappy awning and watched as the flakes hit the ground and disappeared into the like, he dragged a spliff listlessly between his lips, it hung there and shrank to ash, wasting away into the chilly air and he really didn’t care. He wasn’t trying to get high, not really anyway, he just had needed something to do, something to hold and to focus on. Cigarettes had never been his cup of tea though at that moment he felt like maybe he could use one-- he felt restless, on his toes and anxious, empty.
11:19, fifty-one minutes until the new year.
It didn’t take long after seeing Taehyung for Yoongi to escape outside where he could breathe again, where the smoke was thinner and the voices were quieter and Yoongi could just think and melt into his own self-hatred; somewhere inside Taehyung was probably flitting around like a bumblebee bounces flower to flower, he was probably grinning that way he does at other people, maybe making eyes at someone else. Taehyung was out of sight, but was never far out of mind. Not Yoongi’s, anyway.
“Hyung?”
Yoongi turned around, spotted Jimin, promptly went back to facing the empty backyard, grunted in reply.
“It’s fucking freezing out here,” Jimin said, he made a move to stand beside Yoongi, his teeth chattered audibly. It made Yoongi remove his scarf, using it to wrap around the other boys neck because everyone who knew Jimin was aware that he’d catch a cold in .2 seconds. “Thanks.” Yoongi grunted again, Jimin shifted from foot to foot. “You okay?”
Yoongi shrugged, finally taking a real puff of his spliff. The way smoke felt in his lungs was the way Yoongi felt Taehyung in his mind and his heart and fuck his soul-- hot and fuzzy, it dizzied him but got him excited, relaxed him but made him feel urgent. Jimin bounced on his toes, rubbed his hands along his arms to create a heat sensation, he bumped shoulders with Yoongi, grinned when they looked at one another. Yoongi sighed heavily and handed off the spliff, “It’s nothing.”
“That nothing sounded like a whole lot of something ,” Jimin prodded, blowing a puff of white smoke out from between his crude lips. “A Taehyung something?”
It was Taehyung everything and though Yoongi never answered, it seemed like his silence was all that Jimin needed because the younger took the largest breath Yoongi had ever seen and then shook his head, resting his cheek on Yoongi’s shoulder afterwards. Yoongi dropped his head down, rested it on Jimin’s and took the smoke that was offered back to him. “I don’t understand.” Jimin finally said after minutes of silence. That was funny and Yoongi snorted-- he didn’t understand either. None of what happened was fathomable in his own head, Taehyung’s entire existence didn’t make any sense and neither did what became of he and Yoongi; the two of them became nothing when Yoongi thought they’d be everything, a whisper in the wind when they should have been an echo through the mountains.
Was it Yoongi’s fault? Could they have been if he let it?
“Jimin, did I really fuck this up?”
Jimin looked up at him; his hair was a newly bleached and dyed light pink, probably Taehyung’s idea, it hung in his eyes and made him look so, so soft. “Depends on how you define fuck this up .”
“Jimin.”
“Sorry, I don’t know. I think it was, uh, not nice, what you did. Kind of mean, actually, because Tae is a really nice kid. He’s sensitive but if you had just told him you weren’t looking for anything he’d totall-”
Yoongi had to shake his head, “What?”
Confusion washed over Jimin’s face. “What, what?”
“If I wasn’t looking for anything?”
Jimin nodded slowly, still confused while Yoongi’s brain was doing backflips in his skull. It most definitely seemed like Yoongi just wanted a quick fuck, that he was a sweet talker, a heartbreaker . “Yeah? Like, if you had just said you didn’t want something serious he would have understood. He’s like that, super understanding and stuff.”
“Jimin,” Yoongi shook his head, looked down at their feet in the snow. “Jimin I wanted everything from him. I wanted it all, not just… not just that.” He blinked slow, calculated, timed it with his breathing.
Min Yoongi was a heartbreaker, but not on purpose.
“That is probably something you should have been clear about after the fact, hyung.”
--
11:57, it was three minutes until the new year when Yoongi decided that needed to find Taehyung.
Three minutes until everyone inside and outside of the house, everyone in the city and across the country, across the world, would be pulling together to celebrate; lips on lips by the thousands people would be grabbing their lovers, their friends or even strangers to spend the first moment of the new year in a kiss and yeah, maybe Yoongi had been panicking a little bit. He was terrified of the idea that Taehyung would be hot lipped against someone else, that Taehyung would find another person and not even think of him. Yoongi shoved through dozens of people, sorry’s and excuse me’s got lost in the loudness, music turned off and replaced with cheering and toasting, the popping of champagne bottles but Yoongi didn’t care about any of that.
He cared about Taehyung, he cared about where he was and where he’d be, what he was thinking and what he was feeling but fuck since when were there four thousand people stuffed into NamJin’s house?
“ Taehyung!”
Yoongi had barely recognized his own voice calling for Taehyung over so many heads, he couldn’t see straight he couldn’t think, “Taehyung!”
He was on his tiptoes, trying to see what clearly wasn’t there until it was, he was. In the center of the room, just beneath a small disco ball covered in flashing lights, was Taehyung. His eyes were closed, body swaying to a song Yoongi couldn’t stop hearing since he started, Taehyung rose his hands above his head, moving them with the eclectic beat of the song.
What if, what if we ran away
He heard people start counting down from ninety, somewhere far away and all around him.
What if, what if we left today
What if , we said goodbye to safe and sound
Yoongi pushed through people, nobody paid him any mind. “ Eighty! Seventy-nine! Seventy-eight…!”
What if, what if we’re hard to find
What if, what if we lost our minds
What if we let them fall behind, and they’re never found
“Sixty-seven! Sixty-six! Sixty-five! Sixty-four…!”
Why had it felt like the faster Yoongi moved the further Taehyung got?
And when the lights start flashing like a photobooth
“ Fifty! Fourty-nine! Fourty-eight! Fourty-seven…!”
Yoongi reached just near Taehyung, a few feet away, frozen in his spot as Taehyung flowed his body, eyes still shut and content through the chaos around him.
And the stars exploding we’ll be fireproof
“ Thirty-one! Thirty! Twenty-nine! Twenty-eight…!”
“Taehyung,” He found himself saying, now closer than he realized, he wasn’t sure when he got close enough to smell Taehyung’s ridiculous organic shampoo but he was, if he reached out he could touch Taehyung’s cheek, just once. Softly. “Taehyung.” He said again. This time Taehyung’s sharp eyes popped open, they drooped lazily despite his lips falling into a tight line.
“Taehyung I’m sorry, I’m fucking sorry okay? I’m stupid, I’m a big stupid idiot Jin was right, I’m an idiot but I don’t eat people’s hearts, I don’t want to eat people’s hearts Taehyung but fuck-- ”
“ Fifteen! Fourteen! Thirteen..!”
“What?” Taehyung’s voice was soft and airy, a whisper.
“Fuck Taehyung I don’t want to eat your heart I just want it, I want you and whatever animal you want to bring home with you any day, every day. Always .”
“ Five! Four! Three! Two…!”
Taehyung’s lips are on his, fervent, needing and wanting. Missing and hoping and dreaming and Taehyung.
My youth, my youth is yours
Tripping on skies sipping waterfalls, my youth
My youth is yours, run away now and forever
“ One!”
Yoongi clutched Taehyung’s face in his hands, propped up on his toes to be at his level.
My youth, my youth is yours
A truth so loud you can’t ignore, my youth
Taehyung held his hands over Yoongi’s, kissing him so hard that Yoongi saw stars and it was beautiful , it was beautiful and Taehyung was and always will be so, so fucking beautiful. Around them people were cheering, more bottles popped, sometime during the haste of their lips touching, it was chaotic but there with Taehyung, with the smell of oranges and shitty beer and soju, it felt safe. It felt comfortable. It felt like what Yoongi always had wanted but never knew he needed, here, with a clear head, Yoongi knew that everything he had belonged to Taehyung.
My youth is yours
--
That was about two years ago, now, but not very much has changed.
Yoongi was again in Hoseok’s kitchen, orange and purple lights twinkled above his head in a way that he was accustomed to at least once a year while scantily clad bodies and superhero duo’s bounced off the walls. There’s familiar soju in one hand and a strawberry wine cooler in his other, he’s only holding it’s place, he swears.
This year Yoongi ditched his vampire outfit and went for something that suited his new head of bleached white hair; Jack Frost from Rise of the Guardians, it was Jimin’s idea, as most silly things are, although Yoongi sort of likes the way it turned out and honestly he is the ice king, anyway. Cropped brown pants and a simple blue sweatshirt, comfortable, practical. Just the way he likes it.
Yoongi was sitting on the small island, that probably most definitely has an imprint of his ass, when he hears someone call his name, Yoongi smiles so wide he feels like his face is going to crack right in half. Taehyung . Taehyung is dressed as some variation of Peter Pan, which is so, so, sososo fucking suited for him. Forever youthful, forever a boy and forever playful at heart. He wore a leafy getup that he and Hoseok spent four hours created, it criss-crossed over his broad, abnormally tanned chest, weaving into a pair of tight pants that Yoongi thinks at some point were a pair of white joggers that were dyed green. Leaves stuck out of his freshly highlighted locks and they bounce as Taehyung hops towards him, making grabby hands at the wine cooler that’s currently freezing Yoongi’s fingers.
Taehyung is ethereal, a golden boy that warms Yoongi’s stupid icy heart.
There suddenly seems to be no music, no other voices, no friends or strangers. Just Taehyung and Yoongi, thigh to thigh on the stupid counter where they met two years ago, but it’s different. Yoongi still feels the desire magnetizing between the two of them, there’s still fire in their hearts and eyes but god is there confidence now, too. A sense of security, of belonging and something else that Yoongi can’t explain; he takes a drink from his bottle and then takes a drink from Taehyung’s lips, long and deep, tasting him and it’s heavenly. Kissing Taehyung is like your heart-beat after almost running a red light, kissing Taehyung is sneaking out of the kitchen and down the hall to Hoseok’s locked bedroom, kissing Taehyung is Yoongi’s youth and he wants Taehyung to take all of it.
Behind the door it’s now Yoongi that’s pressed against it, it’s him who is pink cheeked and flushed, locked in by Taehyung’s arms.
Their eyes start at one another's feet, both bare, and work their way up and meet in the middle, Yoongi’s breath hitches and Taehyung begins to smile-- it makes Yoongi smile and fuck is he so, so fucking soft for Taehyung. Their eyes stay looking, locked onto the other though Taehyung brings up a hand to cup Yoongi’s cheek.
“You’re so beautiful.” He says to Yoongi, voice all rasp and deep and meaning.
“You’re so greasy.” Yoongi beams, capturing Taehyung’s fingers in his own.
Taehyung leans his forehead against Yoongi’s. “You tell me I’m beautiful all the time.”
“Because you are, completely perfect.”
There’s a short silence that happens between them, it’s filled with twiddling fingers and brushing hair out of the other’s face, a soft kiss to Taehyung’s unholy collarbone. “Yoongi I--” Taehyung whispers, eyes falling shut when Yoongi kisses him again. His voice is so soft, like a short draft through the windows.
“Speak up, Tae.”
“Yoongi, I love you.”
Yoongi kisses him, kisses him hard and soft, whispering against his lips.
Love love love love
Taehyung I love you, too gets swallowed whole but Yoongi keeps mumbling against Taehyung’s skin, against his cheek and his hair and his neck, into the palm of his hands, everywhere. He loves Taehyung everywhere, always.
“I’m yours Taehyung, always yours. I promise you.”
“Promise?”
“Promise, Taehyung, I promise.”