Work Text:
The first thought that comes to Ango’s mind as consciousness finds its way back to him is, I’m never asking Yosano Akiko to heal me ever again.
The second, well. There isn’t exactly a second, since a sharp blade is being pressed upon his neck.
Ango suppresses a tired sigh before speaking, the syllables scratching against his dry throat. “Edogawa Ranpo.”
“Sakaguchi Ango,” the pillar of the Armed Detective Agency smirks. The hand that holds the blade does not shake at all, and Ango doubts not for a second that this man can kill him any moment if he so chooses.
Seriously, though. He isn’t paid nearly enough for this. “Wouldn’t it be against your organization’s policy to murder me after we’ve both upheld our ends of the deal?”
“Bold words for someone whose livelihood depends on his ability to lie.” Jade green eyes open to look at Ango for the first time. Ranpo’s gaze is cold and sharp, just like the edge of a sword. It inadvertently reminds the agent of what is currently resting against his jugular. “In other words, a professional traitor.”
The room’s temperature seems to drop with every word that comes out of the genius detective’s mouth. Despite all his training, Ango shivers.
“Don’t assume I’m like any of my coworkers, Ango,” Ranpo continues. “Dazai was far too lenient on you, considering what you did to that man.”
Ah.
So this is about four years ago. He should have known. Latent guilt squeezes his breath out of his chest in a shudder, even though he struggles to keep his expression as neutral as he can manage.
(Rationally, Ango knows it was not his fault. But he did play a part in the grand scheme of things, and it never fails to make him blame himself for all of it.)
Suddenly, the pressure on his neck eases up.
“Just kidding!” A blink, and the blade is nowhere to be seen. Ranpo’s hands, now waving at Ango mockingly, are empty. “Killing you here, with a dagger? Far too messy. Would leave too much evidence, quite unfit for the number one detective like myself. And Yosano would yell at me.”
Ango sits up gingerly as the other man falls back onto a nearby chair, swinging his legs. The agent’s wounds are only phantom pain, now, but he can already feel a headache coming up. “I figured you wouldn’t want to cause unnecessary trouble for Fukuzawa-san either.”
“Correct!” Ranpo grins lopsidedly at him, one open eye peering into Ango’s. “But being scared of me is a good thing, y’know. I meant what I said.”
Ango wouldn’t expect anything less. However… “I’m not scared of you.”
“You wouldn’t be, would you. Of course.” The detective’s grin fades into a half-smile, clearly having foreseen Ango’s comeback. “You are not even afraid of death itself. After all, you want to die.”
A beat of silence. “I d—”
“Come on, don’t be boring. There’s no way you would’ve trusted Dazai to be in the same car with you and not create some kind of havoc. You could’ve prevented that accident from the very start, but you didn’t. Why? Because you want to die, by his hands.”
The silence lasts this time. Ango averts his eyes, fully aware that it would mean the same thing as admitting to what Ranpo just said.
“... Why are you telling me all this?” His voice shakes, just a little. It hurts to breathe, even though he knows his ribs are already healed.
“Hm. I wonder~”
“Ranpo-san!” Yosano’s authoritative voice echoes from the direction of the door. Instinctively, Ango shrinks into himself. “I was gone for merely five minutes and you’re already in here terrorizing my patient?”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“I doubt that. Please get out.”
The last Ango sees of the genius detective is a brown coat tail quickly disappearing behind the infirmary door. Yosano is a terrifying woman.
The conversation with Ranpo fades into the background as the doctor fusses over him some more, checking his vital signs and making sure he has fully recovered. But Ango knows the moment he leaves this place and returns home, his traitorous mind will turn it over and over like it does to every memory he has of his old friends.
It’s only a fitting sentence while he waits, with equal parts resignation and anticipation, for the end.
“You are truly a mystery, Dazai.”
The bandaged man in question turns to address his senior, a far too innocent expression plastered on his face. “Oho? Coming from Ranpo-san, that’s a huge compliment.”
Dazai is leaning against the wall, a few steps away from the infirmary door. With both hands in his coat pocket and a hum occasionally slipping from his mouth, the brunette looks quite relaxed. It does not fool Ranpo’s trained eyes in the slightest, Dazai knows.
“Weren’t you just waiting for the right moment to step in, should I go overboard with your ex-friend?” The raven-haired detective pulls at his hat, which has gone slightly askewed in his attempt to escape the room as fast as possible to avoid Yosano’s wrath. His smile is contemplative as he looks at Dazai. “Strange, for someone who wants him dead.”
“Oh, I do want him dead,” The former mafioso smiles back, dark eyes devoid of light in the shadows of the room. Here, the day’s last rays of sunshine just barely touch the side of his shoes. “But not now.”
“Keep putting it off, and the real reason why you refrained from killing him would come out pretty soon, you know.” Ranpo procures a lollipop out of his own pocket. He shoves the candy towards Dazai, expectant. The brunette takes the lollipop and unwraps it.
“Enlighten me, then.” The corner of Dazai’s lips curls up, as though daring Ranpo to say what they both know is the truth out loud.
“Are you perchance aware of the most popular motive for all human actions?” The genius detective snatches back the unwrapped lollipop from Dazai and sticks it into his mouth.
Dazai does not answer. He doesn’t need to.
Seemingly satisfied with whatever reply he reads on the brunette’s half-hidden face, Ranpo turns around and walks away, whistling a light, upbeat tune. Dazai spends a moment watching the other man’s retreating back before closing his eyes, focused on the low murmurs from inside the infirmary. Yosano should be done examining Ango anytime now, he thinks, and then the agent would go on living as usual while waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Dazai to finally allow him to die.
What a foolish, foolish man.
Dazai really does hate him, after all.