The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
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Summary
But it still feels wrong. Albatross is constantly laughing, constantly in motion, in control even as he’s spinning out of it. And the corners of the room are falling like Karen’s snow, and he can feel sand pouring down his throat, and Charles is dead sober, and he can’t even speak. Even crénom won’t come to him.
The door opens, and the last man he killed walks into the room.
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By 'Screen Siren', Do You Mean a Porch Alarm? by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
07 Jan 2026
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“I was going to say you could leave in another disguise, but that plan is better.” Piano Man was looking at them earnestly, and something about that and how they were standing alone in a dim glow from somewhere they couldn’t see made the rest of the world feel far away. It was a little disorienting. In a play or a movie, it would have been a moment, and they would have known exactly the right thing to say or do, but it was real and it was unfamiliar and Lippmann wasn’t sure how to handle it. It was always easier to act than to be.
Five minutes before, Piano Man had had a bucket on his head and they had been hunting for Albatross.
Five minutes later, Piano Man would again have a bucket on his head and pretend to be an expert on fish while Lippmann danced with a stranger.
It was Iceman’s fault, technically. In Piano Man’s defense, it all made some sort of sense at the time.
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The World is a Sound of Breaking by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
Fandoms: Arthurian Mythology, Arthurian Mythology & Related Fandoms, Welsh Mythology
19 Jul 2025
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Drabbles written for Whumptobruary 2024-25.
Some of them will be fairly grim, but there won't be any graphic violence.
1: Creirwy, Morvran, and Taliesin; 2: Kay and ?; 3: Galahad; 4: Taliesin; 5: Agravaine; 6: Lucan; 7: Merlin; 8: Taliesin; 9: Griflet; 10: Laurel and Lynette; 11: Taliesin, Cerridwen, Elffin, and Creirwy; 12: Dinadan and Tristan, 13: Kay, Bedivere, and Baldwin; 14: Dinadan, Daniel, and ?; 15: Bors, 16: Kay and Bedivere, 17: Kay and Taliesin, 18: Bedivere and Kay, 19: Morvran, 20: Daniel and Hector, 21: Lionel and Bors, 22: Creirwy and Taliesin, 23: Gildas, 24: Kay, 25: Taliesin, Morvran, Sanddef, and Einion; 26: Kahedin and Isolde, 27: Kay and Arthur, 28: Galahad, 29: Kahedin, Tristan, Isolde, and Isolde; 30: Afaon. -
Tainted Love: the Sinister Connection between Lippmann’s Latest Boytoy and Convicted Killer Richard Kuklinski by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
03 Jul 2025
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In which the media decides that Albatross is Murakami Tokio in disguise and also Lippmann's secret boyfriend
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Dagbert Endless wasn’t suited for an ending.
He’d joined the “good guys”, but half of his friends were on the Dark Side. He was being raised by a blacksmith, but his power snuffed out fires when he didn’t concentrate. He was a mermaid’s son and the tides would always call to him, but the sea was far away. Then there was Charlie…
Dagbert’s ending was still very far from being told.This work can follow “The Curse of the Endless” and is sometime after it temporally, but the works are independent. This summary may be updated as new chapters are added.
Series
- Part 2 of The Saga of Dagbert Endless
Recent series
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If I found a key to you, I'd bury it down by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
Fandom 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
07 Jan 2026
- Words:
- 7,056
- Works:
- 2
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The Saga of Dagbert Endless by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
Fandom Charlie Bone Universe - Jenny Nimmo
25 Dec 2024
Summary
Fics centering on Dagbert Endless and/or the curse of the House of Grimwald.
"The Curse of the Endless" and "Lighthouse" take place in roughly the same canon, with both giving the same explanation for why Lysander was able to defeat Lord Grimwald, but "Curse" centers on it and it's only briefly mentioned in "Lighthouse". They stand entirely independently and do not have to be read together or in a specific order.
"The Annals of the North" gives an entirely different explanation for why Lysander was able to kill Grimwald.
"Charlie Bingo and the Island of Crackships" also gives an explanation, but it isn't the focus of the fic, so it's not in this series.- Words:
- 21,029
- Works:
- 3
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Not so much a series as a collection of standalone post-Camlann fics centering on Griflet and involving ghosts
- Words:
- 5,107
- Works:
- 2
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Talie's CotRK Crackfics by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
Fandom Charlie Bone Universe - Jenny Nimmo, Fantasy Island (TV 1977), Pet Shop Boys
27 Oct 2024
- Words:
- 5,908
- Works:
- 4
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Summary
In a fit of impulsiveness, Klavier asks Apollo on a date. Unexpectedly, Apollo accepts, but under one condition: in the interests of avoiding further awkwardness, Klavier must resolve his remaining differences with Phoenix Wright.
What follows is excruciating for everyone involved.
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“Why do all your plans involve costumes?”
“Because I like to look pretty.” -
Why don't they have little feet? by starful_nights
Fandoms: Chess - Rice/Ulvaeus/Andersson
13 Aug 2023
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Freddie Trumper's neighbour keeps getting his mail. And reading it. And coming to bizarrely wrong conclusions.
Bookmarked by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
11 Dec 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
"SNAIL MAIL strip chess" has to be one of the best ultra-specific tags in the history of AO3 and dare I say it deserves more works in it but if it never gets them it'll be all right because this one is funny and wonderful.
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Mr Astley visits a friend in need and shows them the way. You don’t fight fire with fire, you keep Rick Rolling on.
Bookmarked by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
30 Mar 2025
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Bookmarker's Notes
I have no idea what this is but it healed my soul.
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Certified Planetary Accountant by beradan, follow_the_sun
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
28 Jun 2020
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"Shit, do people who come back from the dead usually have to file amended returns?”
Series
- Part 2 of Odinbrood Adventures
Bookmarked by The_Tales_of_Hoffmann
16 Oct 2024
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Bookmarker's Notes
Even taxes can be entertaining when they're space taxes with Bucky Barnes and Ana Sofía Arcos Romero. Yes, the Ana Sofía, Squirrel Girl's immensely underrated BHFF, and the former Winter Soldier, whose mental health has improved greatly since the days of his and Doreen's ill-fated text stream. You don't need to know both characters' origin media to enjoy it.