Work Text:
May 13, 1960
Despite moving in almost a week ago, their kitchen still looked like post office's supply room, cluttered with various boxes and bags. All boxes were labeled. Grey cardboard held words made from blue ink, but only few matched their current location, like “plates” or “cutlery” or even the one that said “3 long types of pasta”. But the rest of them... why, in Heaven’s sake, “Holly's Christmas decorations” and “National Geographic 1947-1952” found their way right onto kitchen counter. Joseph loved his wife, but things like this tend to happen when his beloved Suzie decided, that she's going to do everything by herself. And now she was slowly putting things in their proper places. It looked like it's going to take some time.
Their new home was smaller, than it used to be. With Holly out in college they didn't need five rooms and four bathrooms. Something smaller would suffice. And well, if their new home was reasonably closer to Holly's school, it was nothing but a bonus. Not that Joseph planned it like that. He definitely was not that concerned about his only daughter, no matter what Suzie said.
But their kitchen was cluttered, and Joseph had really hard time maneuvering through this obstacle course towards the sink. It was especially hard while holding extraordinary big bouquet of sunflowers.
It was May and finding those was a challenge every year. Sunflowers normally started to bloom in the summer, but Joseph was a stubborn man. And fortunately a rich one. So he somehow always managed to find real, living sunflowers while May hadn’t even reached its half.
But right now Joseph hated those flowers with his whole heart. He tried to put them in the sink but yellow petals and brown paper obstructed his view. So he was half-jumping around, barely evading the boxes and trying really hard not to break anything in the process. Sunflowers HAD TO go in the sink, because Joseph HAD TO find vase big enough for them. He was going to win this battle, and then tell Suzie what he thought about her “I'm going to do it all by myself” attitude. They're going to clean whole kitchen tomorrow. Together. Just like they should from the start.
But now he was almost there. His fingers found cold metal of the sink, and Joseph had to just rise the bouquet up a little bit, just so the steams would slide inside. Everything’s going to be fine.
It wasn't fine, if the loud crash was any indication. It sounded just like about twelve thin, delicate champagne glasses falling on the floor and shattering inside cardboard box. But he could be wrong. He hoped to be wrong.
Joseph looked around his shoulder and saw crumpled box lying on the floor, on those beautiful tiles that Suzie liked so much. On the top on the box he could easily see blue letters. And yes, his hearing was as sharp as ever. “Champagne glasses” the box said.
This day was getting better and better.
Later that night, after finally putting sunflowers into the sink, cleaning the mess, finding proper vase, putting beautiful bouquet away secure in their bedroom, talking with Suzie about state of their kitchen, deciding that they're going to put everything away together tomorrow and eating dinner, he could lay in bed with love of his life (as irritating as she sometimes was, but breathtaking nevertheless) curled on his chest. And think.
Joseph never liked to think.
Or rather, he never liked to think about stuff that he had no impact on. Why would one ruminate on things that one could never change? Why hurt yourself by reflecting on past, or future that never was? Joseph Joestar was a reasonable man. But today was the day.
Caesar Anthonio Zeppeli would turn 42 today.
42.
What a sobering thought.
Joseph looked at sunflowers, standing proudly on their dresser. They were beautiful. Strong. Astounding. They made people smile.
They were just like Caesar.
Joseph must have sighted loud enough, or move in some disturbing way because Suzie turned her head on his chest and looked at him in the darkness. Her eyes big and understanding. But she could not understand, there was just no way that she could. Joseph never told her anything about Caesar, about how he sometimes was glad (dear God, not like that, of course not like that) that he was no longer in the picture, just because he didn’t have to choose. Because Joseph was not sure he could. Because he loved Suzie, she was light of his life, the most beautiful, most optimistic and lively person he ever knew. She was amazing and perfect, and he loved her. Deeply. Romantically. And he loved her body, and what they did in bed, he loved it so much that sometimes he didn't want to get out of bed, while she was in it. Because she really was love of his life.
So Joseph send her a little smile, while she put her hands on his chest, just to support her chin. Her eyes were full of something Joseph couldn't name, but loving and kind.
“Jojo” She started quietly, like she didn't want to disturb the night with this forever present bit of joy in her tone. “Do you know what I think?”
“Hmmm? What love?” He answered in almost whisper.
“I think” she pulled herself a bit up his chest, so she could look into his eyes “I think, that if Caesar was alive, he would live here, with us.”
Joseph's heart stopped for a second, then started to ram very very fast. His lips felt dry, tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth, eyes widened, face and neck felt hot. There was no way...
“Why do you think that?” Joseph asked slowly, trying to control the slight tremor in his voice. But Suzie just looked at him, like he was the stupidest person in the whole universe. And she was really not amused by that.
“Because I know you. And I knew how you looked at him then. And how you looked at me. And for some time...” Suzie stopped then and closed her eyes for a second. “... for some time I thought that you were going to choose him. Because he was going to choose you every time.”
“Suzie... you...” Joseph could not breathe. His lungs constricted, and heart was beating some fast beat, like in those modern songs.
“Hush, Love” She swatted his arm playfully and smiled with her honest, brilliant smile. “I am not done, so you better listen. You were trying to hide it from me for years, and I understand why, but right now, I'm going to talk, and you're going to listen.”
Joseph could only nod.
“So” Suzie started again. “Caesar loved you. And I love you. And you love him. And you love me. I know you truly love me Jojo, don't fret.“ Her eyes were so, so fond. ”And I want you to be happy, so if Caesar was alive, he would be in the room next door, in a bed just like this one, and you would be in there with him. Because it's his birthday.”
Joseph Joestar believed himself to be a strong man, but at this peculiar moment, hearing those words, he simply started to cry. It was too much. Hearing about things he could have, things he dreamt of, yearned for, but never thought that he had any chance of heaving. Even then, when Caesar was alive, and looked like a person weaved from his dreams. So Joseph cried. Quietly.
“Jojo, don't cry, please.” Suzie wiped tears from his face with her small, delicate hand. “I never wanted to make you sad.”
“I'm not sad” And he wasn't. “It's just... a lot” He swept his metal hand in the air, because this a lot was really a lot, and he needed additional gesture to encompass it all. He needed that.
Suzie curled into him a little bit more, and he embraced her. God, he loved her even more. It shouldn't be possible.
“How do you know that he loved me?” Joseph asked after a moment.
“I just know. I could see it in his face. And, you know, he stopped flirting with every women he saw just after he met you.”
“We had to train, so he didn't have time for that.” It was hard to think, that he could have that. That he could have him. Or rather have each other. God.
“Jojo.” Suzie's voice got this serious no-nonsense ton she sometimes had when Joseph did something really stupid. “He flirted with me before. For sport. We passed each other in a hallway, and he would flirt for 30 seconds, just because he could. And the moment you came with him he stopped. Just like that. And I was there all the time.”
Oh God. Caesar loved him. Probably.
“And from what you said…” Suzie continued “He gave up his life for you. He died to save you. You have to love someone very much to do that.”
They got silent for a while. Joseph thought, verging on a hysteria, that right now he was holding half of his heart in his arms. The other half was dead. While he never was a very religious person, he wondered if he could ever get if whole again. Someday, somewhere. Somehow.
“Love... do you think, that he's waiting there... somewhere. I mean... you know what I mean.” Talking about feelings was never something Joseph Joestar was good at.
“Of course” Suzie said, like it was the most obvious thing in the word. Maybe for her it was. “He's waiting there for you, like I would. Be sure that if I die before you, I'm going to find him, and we're going to wait for you together. But if you die before me, you better wait for me mister, or we're going to have words.“ She jokingly shaked her finger on him.
“I don't deserve you.” Joseph said throatily.
“Of course you don't” Suzie looked at him with biggest possible grin on her face, and pure love in her eyes. ”I have yet to meet a man who deserves his wife.”
She was right and Joseph could only laugh. He would never be the happiest man on earth, with half of his heart dead. But he still got pretty close.