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Welcome to Cycling Vale

Summary:

Night Vale, but with bikes.

~

Self indulgent Yowapeda characters in Night Vale. The crossover no one thought about except me.

Notes:

Introducing:
Makishima as Carlos the scientist
Onoda as the Boy from Japan (Woman from Italy, but not quite)
Teshima and Aoyagi as True Psychics (as opposed to fake ones)
Tadokoro as Big Rico (sort of)

Age is a bit iffy, the 3rd years are now post-college, 2nd years maybe college age?, 1st years are possibly just out of high school age. And some individuals are like Cecil-age.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Welcome to Night Vale," the voice on the radio says, cheerful and melodious. Makishima can't for the life of him remember what being happy feels like. The road stretches out for miles ahead, with nothing but sand and sagebrush on either side. Desert winds blow tumbleweeds across the vast emptiness as heat beats down from the aggravatingly clear sky.

When Kinjou, an old high school friend, had suggested they come stay in his hometown in order to study the wildlife there (namely the spider population), Makishima hadn't been expecting an endless desert wasteland. At least the car is cool; Makishima would have turned around hundreds of miles ago if it hadn't been. Even Onoda, who is usually unwaveringly enthusiastic, is half dozing off in the passenger's seat. The voice on the radio drones on in the background, spouting nonsense about mountains and existence. It's actually somewhat comforting, if not a tad humorous.

Makishima's half-heartedly nibling on a green apple flavored lollipop, fighting the urge to let his eyelids drop, when Onoda twitches in his seat and perks up, pointing out the window down the road.

"Makishima-san! Look, a house!"

Makishima jabs the button to turn off the radio as Onoda rolls down the window to poke his head out. Immediately, a wave of heat washes over them.

"Hey, cut that out!" Makishima squawks. "You'll get sand in your eyes!" Onoda ducks back inside and rolls the window up again. Great, it'll take them at least an hour to get that cold back again. Onoda at least has the decency to look sheepish.

They pass the house and Makishima swears he sees tall, winged figures in the yard out of the corner of his eye. He shakes it off as a mirage and focuses on the road straight ahead. If there's one house there's bound to be more. Onoda peeks over the back of the seat to watch as the house vanishes into the distance behind them.

They finally spot the edge of a town a few minutes later. There's a large farm and what looks like a car lot to the left, and a singly solitary music shop to the right. Makishima pulls into the parking lot of the music shop and gets out, intending to get directions. Onoda jumps out as well, yawning and streching his cramped legs. 

A bell on the door jingles as they enter the dimly llit shop. A sign on the counter greets, "Welcome to Dark Owl Records, howl may I help you?" in red scratchy handwriting. Behind it stands a young man with brown hair half covering his face. He looks surprised from what Makishima can tell. They must not get many customers.

"Eh... is this the town of Night Vale?" Makishima asks, managing to simultaneously come across as polite and awkward as hell. The guy nods, a sharp, short movement and mumbles something under his breath that sounds like "ear lobe". He glances behind him as if wishing to flee.

Almost as if on cue, a short redhead bursts through the staff doors shouting, "Interloper!" He skids to a stop behind the counter and the brunette slinks away gratefully to organize some records in the corner.

"This is Night Vale?" Makishima tries again. The redhead blinks, then flashes his canines in a smile.

"Yep! I haven't sen your faces around here before! You must be new," he decides. He has a bit of a strange accent. "I'm Naruko, how can I help you guys?"

"Do you know Kinjou Shingo?" Makishima asks.

Naruko cackles. "Do I know him? 'Course I do. But you probably shouldn't go see him now, the security is kinda tight and he's usually way busy."

Security? Makishima hums. Kinjou did say not to visit him during the day... didn't he mention Tadokoro was living here now? "How about Tadokoro Jin?" he tries. Naruko's face lights up with recognition.

"Yeah, I know him. I'll call and see if he's busy or not." He turns around and picks up the telephone, which mysteriously isn't plugged in, and lacks buttons on which to dial. In fact, it looks like little more than a brick of plastic, and yet Makishima can hear ringing coming from the speakers... strange.

"Hey old man, it's Naruko. Yeah, there's two new guys in town saying they know you..." He covers the phone with one hand. "What're your names?"

"I'm Makishima, and this is Onoda." Onodo gives him a nervous smile, and Naruko beams back.

"Makishima and Onoda... Yeah sure, we'll be right over, I'll tell Aoyagi. I am NOT a red bean, old man!" He rolls his eyes and huffs, putting the strange phone back and turning around. "Yeah, he's not busy. Hey Aoyagi!" he shouts, addressing the brunette in the corner. To be honest, Makishima had forgotten he was there. "Do you want to come with us?"

Aoyagi shakes his head no, pointing at the open sign on the window. Naruko gives him an incredulous stare. "No one's going to come! Probably," he adds. "You've gotta be tired of just sitting around!"

Aoyagi looks visibly conflicted, studiously avoiding eye contact. Naruko smirks. "Teshima wants to see you," he prods. Aoyagi hesitates for only a few more seconds before sighing reluctantly and going over to the window, flipping the sign to "closed". Makishima swears there's a faint blush on his cheeks, although it could just be the dim lighting.

"Oh yeah, sorry! Do you mind if we hitch a ride with you guys?" Naruko asks. Onoda gives Makishima a pleading look, obviously wanting to make some new friends. Makishima pats him on the head.

"Yeah, sure."

"Great!" They head back out into the harsh sunlight to the car, where the metal door hangle nearly burns Makishima's hand off. He starts up the engine and backs out of the parking space as Naruko starts chatting animatedly with Onoda about this and that.

"Oh, we're the same age? That's so cool! Turn right," he instructs Makishima. "Yeah, there's a couple of kids around here our age. But don't talk to them," Naruko stage whispers behind his hand. "They're weird and not as cool as me. Especially Imaizumi."

"Imaizumi?" Onoda asks.

"Yeah, black hair, super tall, usually has this scary look on his face. He thinks he's such a hotshot, with his good looks and cycling skills-" Naruko yelps as Aoyagi pokes him in the side, just under the ribs, then cranes his head to look out the back window where Aoyagi's pointing. "Oh shit we just passed it! Turn around turn around turn around-"

After driving through a physically impossible roundabout that seemed to go on for several miles, they finally make it back to where they were. Makishima parks just outside the shop labled "Tadokoro's Pizza". Handwritten on the sign are the words, "AND BAKERY" in all caps.

As Makishima sticks one gangly leg out of the car, he gets a shiver down the back of his neck. Someone's watching them. Onoda and the other two have already hopped out and are heading toward the door, but he takes a second to glance around. There's movement in the second story window of the building across the street, and for a brief moment he meets a set of curious violet eyes. Then the curtains snap shut and he's left unexpectedly disappointed. He shakes it off and heads toward the door. Just as he turns the knob and steps inside he feels that gaze return.

The inside of Tadokoro's place is filled with the unmistakable smell of pizza, with the sugary scent of baked goods wafting from the back room. Aoyagi immediately heads over to the corner, where a curly haired boy greets him and offers him a seat.

"Thanks, Naruko," the boy calls.

"Teshima, if you start hitting on him again I swear to god," Naruko half shouts in reply. Teshima gives him a wounded look, as if to say, who me? I would never! He then proceeds to strike up a very one-sided conversation with Aoyagi; meaning, even though the other boy doesn't seem to be verbalizing, Teshima is responding as if he is. This day just keeps getting stranger.

Suddenly, the door to the back room slams all the way open and a large man barrels in with a tray of cookies, nearly knocking Makishima over.

"Tadokorocchi!" Makishima yelps. Tadokoro turns and grins.

"Hey, Makishima!" He places the cookies on the counter and wraps Makishima in a giant bear hug. "How've you been? We haven't seen each other since high school!"

After establishing that his feet are securely planted on the ground again, Makishima grins back. Tadokoro hasn't changed at all. "Yeah, it's been a while. Sorry to bother you during your work but Kinjou said not to see him during the day, and I didn't know who else to visit."

Tadokoro gives a booming laugh. "Didn't you hear?" he asks. "Kinjou's the mayor now! He's got a bunch of important mayoral duries to attend to!"

"What?" Makishima presses his fingertips to his forehead. "Oh man."

"I'm sure once he finds out you're here he'll come over quick, though. News travels fast in this town, especially with our radio show." Tadokoro then turns to Onoda, who's been flitting around nervously the whole time. "And you must be Onoda then! You look like a strong young man. What a relief Makishima has you. He's so skinny he'd break like a twig if he so much as tried to pick up a book!"

"Am not," Makishima interrupts.

"Um, th-thank you!" Onoda stutters meekly. Then his stomach gives a little growl. "Ah!" He flounders, embarrassed.

Tadokoro laughs. "You two must be hungry after all that driving. Today there's a special deal at the diner down the street, if you're interested. Here," he hands Makishima a 20. "My treat. The red bean'll go with you." Naruko immediately bristles at the use of the nickname.

"Oi! I'm not a red bean! Also, won't Hotshot be there?"

Tadokoro raises an eyebrow with a loud chuckle. "Don't pretend like you two lovebirds aren't just bickering like a married couple."

Naruko shoots straight up in protest. "Shut your trap! We are nothing except the worst of enemies!" He sighs through bared teeth. "I guess you wouldn't understand, you don't have an ultimate rival for life."

"Is that what we're calling significant others now?" Tadokoro holds his hands up as Naruko lunges at him. "I jest, I jest! Anyway, that Tourniquet guys is always stealing my customers, if that counts." Naruko ignores him and he shakes his head. "Teenagers. Anyway, head down the street. On the next block is the Moonlite All-Nite Diner."

Makishima nods and gives a lazy wave. Suddenly reinvigorated, Naruko jumps up and grabs Onoda by the arm. "Let's go, Onoda-kun! To eat!"

The walk there is surprisingly okay, despite the relentless scorching heat and strange occurrences. There's one instance where a mailbox keeps disappearing as soon as he stops looking directly at it. There's also a group of people staring really hard at a tree stump. Makishima chalks it up to heat madness; still, he makes sure he walks in-between them and Onoda, just in case it's some sort of crazy tree cult or something.

The air is relievingly cool as they enter the diner. The place definitely has a retro feel to it... or at least, there's a jukebox playing in the corner. There are various paintings of moons all along the faded mint green wallpaper, surrounded by what appears to be glow-in-the-dark picture frames. A large sign hands overhead, reading "Happy Existence Day!" Another sign on the wall reads, "This is not a wheat-free establishment. Dine at your own risk." There's a tall boy in a waiter's outfit reading behind the counter who looks up when they enter.

"Three times in one week? I'm obligated to say the food here is good, but it's not that good. Are you really just coming here to see me?" he says to Naruko in lieu of a more traditional greeting.

"Glad to see your head is still as insufferbly big as ever," Naruko snarks back. "Just get us a table, hotshot." The boy eyes Makishima and Onoda.

"Follow me." He leads them to a booth in the corner, where the conversations of the other patrons melt into a pleasant drone in the background. "You must be Makishima," he states once they're seated, and does a small bow. "Imaizumi Shunsuke, at your service. And you are?" He turns his dark blue gaze on Onoda, who squeaks at being noticed.

"U-Um, O-Onoda Sakamichi!" he says, voice trembling. Imaizumi shoots a glare at Naruko.

"Naruko. What did you tell them." Naruko ywans, light glinting off his canines.

"Geez, don't blame me, your face is just naturally scary."

Imaizumi rolls his eyes and turns to Onoda. "Please, feel free to create your own opinion of me, instead of listening to whatever this idiot has to say." Onoda nods timidly in response. Seemingly satisfied, Imaizumi produces a notebook from his pocket. "Any drinks for you?"

"Just water, thanks," Makishima says. Onoda copies him, and Naruko orders some sort of soda.

"Ah, Imaizumi," Makishima blurts as soon as the dark haired boy turns to leave. "How did you know my name?"

He shrugs. "We don't get many visitors here. I heard the news over the radio. Oh, and the menus are on the table," he adds. Then he disappears into the back, presumably to get their drinks.

Makishima slides a menu over and glances over it. It seems like standard fare, except for...

"Invisible pie?" Onoda mumbles. Naruko slings an arm over his shoulder.

"It's not that good. Don't bother." He flashes a grin. "Today's special is a much better deal." Then he gives a short cackle.

Imaizumi returns with their drinks. Naruko's soda is bright red with a small strawberry perched on the rim. Onoda sips at his water, rehydrating.

"Ready to order?" Imaizumi asks.

"Uh, three of today's special?" Makishima says. Imaizumi makes a note.

"All right. Thank you." He bows and disappears again. Naruko scoffs.

"He's never this polite when I'm by myself. He must be trying to make a good first impression." He sips at his soda thoughtfully, then lights up. "Oh! The old man said you two are cyclists!"

"Yeah, we brought our bikes with us, but it seems like this isn't really a good place to practice. Too much sand," Makishima grimaces slightly.

"Eh, it doesn't stop us! Maybe we can race one day. I'm the fastest rider in the whole town!" Naruko puffs out his chest.

"That's what you think," Imaizumi interrupts, dishing out three bowls of lettuce, croutons and grape tomatoes. He then sprinkles cheese over the salads using a cheese grater that has a little laminated cloud taped to it.

"Why the heck is there a cloud on that?" Naruko asks.

"It's supposed to be snow," Imaizumi informs him drily.

"Sure, sure." Makishima takes a bite of the salad. It's pretty good, but he thinks anything would taste good after driving for hours. A few minutes later, Imaizumi comes back with the main meal. Onoda's eyes are wide as he takes in the human-shaped sandwich, complete with long fries for wings and a purple onion ring for a halo.

"This is so cute!" he gushes. Even Naruko is grudgingly impresed. Imaizumi looks away bashfully.

"It's not my idea, but thank you anyway. I'll bring your dessert soon."

The food is decent for a diner, and all three of them eat ravenously. The final dish is an upside down slice of strawberry pie with whipped cream on the tip, recreating a mountain.

Imaizumi appears once again as they're finishing off dessert, this time with an unzipped hoodie over his button up and slacks. "My shift's over, he explains. "Everything taste all right?"

"Yes, thank you!" Onoda pipes, looking much more relaxed. Imaizumi gives him a small smile.

"Oi, Hotshot! We still on for our race later today?" Naruko chimes in. Sensing that their conversation isn't going to be quick, Makishima offers Imaizumi the seat next to him, which he accepts gratefully.

"Of course." He says it matter of factly. "And-"

"I'm going to win."

"I'm going to win!" They say the same thing at once, then glare at each other from across the table.

"Stop copying me!"

"Seriously, stop!" Imaizumi rolls his eyes while Naruko huffs. "Whatever, we'll settle this on the road." Makishima inwardly chuckles to himself. They really are like a married couple.

"Um..." Onoda begins hesitantly. The other two boys immediately focus their attention on him. "I've met Imaizumi-kun now, who are the other kids our age?"

Imaizumi tilts his head. "I know Miki from when we were children... I think her friend Aya is the same age as us too. Miki and her brother run a bike shop, if you ever need repairs," he adds.

"Oh! And Sugimoto, the self-proclaimed "experienced bowler"." Naruko makes air quotes around the words. "And Old Woman Miyahara. She's not actually old, but she's always so strict and straight laced she might as well be," he explains. 

"Isn't there another kid? That radio station intern. What was his name?"

"Manami?"

"Right..." Imaizumi glances at Onoda. "But he's a bit... eccentric."

"Anyway!" Naruko jumps out of the booth. "We'd better hustle if we're going to race! I left all my stuff at the old man's place, so."

"I'll have to change again as well. Meet you in half an hour in front of the radio station, then." Imaizumi stands as well. "And, uh, nice to meet you, Makishima-san, Onoda-kun."

"Same to you," Makishima responds. "We'd better get going as well." He holds up the 20 dollar bill from Tadokoro. "Where do we, uh..."

"I got it," Naruko says, taking the bill. He whispers something into his soda, then takes a slip of paper from under the sugar packets. He then puts the bill on the paper and slips it back under the sugar, and leans in as if listening for something. Makishima watches in confusion as he then retrieves two dollar bills from in-between the napkins. Is this some sort of local ritual?

"'Kay, we're good!" He bounds toward the door, then stops abruptly. "Oh! Onoda-kun, want to time us?" he asks. "You'll probably be staying in the lot next to the old man's bakery, right?" Makishima shrugs. "The radio station is just across from there, so you wouldn't have to go very far!"

"I-I, um..." Onoda looks to Makishima for permission.

"Stay out of the sun, and bring a water bottle with you," he says. Onoda beams.

~

"Old man! They're staying next door!" Naruko announces as they enter the bakery, jabbing a thumb behind him.

"Of course they are, I'm not going to make them sleep on the street," Tadokoro grumbles. Then he turns to address Makishima. "Next door is an empty lot we purchased a long time ago, but we never really used it. There's a couple of rooms with beds. Show them around, will you?" he asks Naruko, who nods with a grin. "Oh, and," he adds. "Whatever you do, don't turn on the radio. You'll probably die of embarrassment if you hear what that guy is saying." Teshima nods his agreement from where he's fiddling with the cash register.

"Sure," Makishima says, looking confused.

"This way!" Naruko takes them back outside, and after struggling a bit against the intense heat wave leads them to the front door of a building resembling a condominium attached to the bakery. Once inside, he shows them the two rooms with beds and the large adjoining living room-of-sorts, rambling all the way.

"And this concludes the Naruko tour! If you have any questions, I'll be right next door! See you outside, Onoda-kun!" He flashes a grin and leaves.

Makishima immediately turns to the radio on the table in the center of the room.

"Makishima-san, I don't think you should-" Onoda says, but Makishima has already turned it on.

"-not fair!" the voice says. "How is he so beautiful without even trying?! Like, on any other person green hair would be so tacky, but he pulls it off like it's nothing! And that mismatched shirt and pants... it's so not fashionable, but guess what, the end result is gorgeous! Like, devastatingly gorgeous! If you haven't seen this man, you haven't lived." A frustrated groan, and then the sound of a head banging a desk. "He's so perfect it's killing me. Even-"

Click. Makishima turns the radio back off. His eyes are wide and his face is flaming red.

"Makishima-san..." Onoda says. He's blushing a little, too.

"I'm going to take a nap. Be safe out there," Makishima says, leaving Onoda standing there as he retreats into his room. He flops onto the bed and covers his face with his hands. Man, how embarrassing... and on a public radio station of all places! He rolls over onto his stomach. Whoever's doing the radio is very obviously interested in him, and it's a huge surprise. Not a lot of people so easily accept his appearance; well, at least it wasn't like that in Japan or England. But so far this town has been strange as all hell, nothing like any other town he's ever been to, so maybe he'll get through this extreme embarrassment and live to see another day.

"Perfect," the voice floats through his head. He groans and buries his head under the pillow. Scratch that, he's already dead.

Notes:

Headcanon that Night Valeians only shout interloper at people who act different, but when they seem at home/relaxed/indifferent they stop shouting at them.

Imaizumi in a waiter's outfit *whistles*

Since this fic is abandoned, here are some notes on the character assignment:

Toudou as Cecil Palmer
Manami as the Nonexistent Intern (an angel who became one of the only surviving interns Toudou's ever had)
Arakita as Steve Carlsburg
Shinkai as Earl Harlan
Kinjou as the Mayor

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