Archive of Our Own

Jungkook was always the friend that people overlooked.

Even when he was a child, people would just use him to make more of their own friends and ditch him later. He never understood––he was funny and friendly. He didn’t have a weird laugh, he didn’t have any weird qualities. People just never appreciated him. Growing up in Busan wasn’t easy anyway, people were always competitive, he always felt like he wasn’t good enough.

His only escape from all the pressure was to dance. He’d dance in his room, his kitchen, on his walk home. He couldn’t stop. It was like this energy took over him and he couldn’t contain it. His brother, Yoongi, always told him to join a team or a club so he could dance with other people, but Jungkook never listened. He was too scared that he wouldn’t be good enough, wouldn’t be what they wanted. He never was anyway.

When he turned eighteen, he could finally escape Busan, heading to Seoul for college. It’s a performing arts school, but he’s not majoring in dance like he wants to. He had only gotten in on a music scholarship. He loves it, sure, but it’s not like dance. No doubt, he’s good. So good that he doesn’t have to pay any tuition to go. But he doesn’t want to end up stuck again––stuck doing something that’s okay but not what he wants. It seems like everything is just out of reach for him.

It’s moving day, he has two duffel bags and his synthesizer. He’s struggling to make his way to the right building––it would be easier if he had a map. But he, being an idiot, had put in his back pocket. With two bags and his case, it’s a little difficult to maneuver to grab it. He makes his way towards a building he thought he recognized from orientation, the front doors wide open. There’s people everywhere, going in and out. He briefly thinks that he would need to make friends at this new school but remembers he’d always been alone anyway. Continuing on, he makes his way through the crowd of the small lobby to an area in a corner where there aren’t many people. There, he takes out the map. After a second, he figures out that he was in the right place––Building B––looks at the other side where he had written his room number. B24.

He tucks the map back in his pocket and moves forward through the crowd. He tries not to run into anyone, not wanting to be noticed. He decides to take the elevator up, the staircase crowded with what looked like druggies. His room is on the second floor, thankfully. He’s not fond of heights. There’s still a lot of people in the hallway, making it hard for him to see the door numbers. He eventually finds his at the end of the left hallway. The door’s closed, unlike all the other doors. He feels the urge to knock; he had a double after all.

He timidly raises his hand, the best he can with the bags, and knocks on the door. He hears quiet footsteps move closer to him before the door is pulled open. Before him stands a short man with black hair, wearing sweatpants and a black hoodie. He smiles at him and Jungkook can’t help but notice how cute it is. His eyes make adorable little crescents.

“Uh, um, hi, I-” Jungkook tries to raise his hand for a handshake but ends up hitting his hand on the door frame. He swears under his breath, looking at the black haired man apologetically. He laughs, leaving Jungkook amazed at how cute his laugh is too.

“I’m Park Jimin, it’s nice to meet you,” the black haired man, Jimin, says. “I’m assuming you’re my roommate?”Jungkook smiled, “Ha, yeah I am. Sorry I’m a mess.”

Jimin shakes his head, moving out of the way so Jungkook can step into the room. There’s a closet to his right, two beds in front of him, a desk in the middle of the two beds, and what looked to be a bathroom on the left.

Jimin moves forward after closing the door, going to sit on the bed on the right.

“Do we have our own bathroom?” Jungkook asks.

“Yeah we do, it’s decent, has a shower and everything.” Jungkook simply nods and places his stuff down on what was now his bed.

“Do you only have those two bags?” Jimin asks. Jungkook nods again, starting to open his bag to put clothes away. “Wow, I have at least four boxes, you must not have much clothing.”
Jungkook shakes his head, saying, “It’s basically all clothes. I’m gonna go to the store to get sheets and everything later.” To this, Jimin makes a high pitched noise, almost like a squeal but not quite.

“Ooh, that sounds fun, can I come?”

Jungkook turns around slowly, looking at the man in front of him. No one back home had ever asked to hang out with him.

“I mean, if you want to. I’m not much fun,” Jungkook answers.

Jimin makes a sound of disapproval. “Don’t say that. You’ve only been here a couple minutes and you’ve already made me laugh.”

Jungkook smiles at this, turning to shove more shirts in his drawer.

“I guess you can come. I’m not making any promises on how fun it will be, though,” Jungkook moves back to his bag, grabbing his wallet, car keys, and phone. Jimin springs up, slipping into sandals and following Jungkook.

“Wait, you have a car? Lucky,” Jimin pouts. Jungkook laughs, shaking his head slightly. The perks of having a rich producer brother.

The drive there is fine––Jimin turns up the music and sings along. His voice is beautiful.
“Where’d you learn to sing?” Jungkook asks.

A laugh. “Nowhere. I’ve always been a singer. It is what I’m majoring in, after all,” Jimin opens the window, sticking his fingers out to dance on the wind.

“You’re really good. I can’t really sing,” Jungkook answers, quieter than before.

Jimin turns back towards him, a bit of an evil glare in his eyes. “I wanna hear––try,” Jimin smiles like the Cheshire Cat. Jungkook’s slightly terrified. Of the smile or of singing, he’s not sure. Jimin turns up the song––Critical Beauty by Pentagon––and looks at Jungkook more intently. Jungkook rolls his eyes before starting to sing along. It isn’ this best singing, but Jimin seems pleased, so he keeps going. They’re close to the store anyway. As Jungkook parks the car, the song comes to an end. Jimin’s practically bouncing in his seat, smiling at Jungkook.

“What?” Jungkook asks, taking the keys out of the ignition and getting out of the car. Jimin follows closely behind, walking with a slight bounce to his step.

“Your voice is so pretty, it’s light. You sound like honey or something,” Jimin smiles at him, making Jungkook blush slightly.

“I really don’t sing. I produce music, that’s what I’m majoring in.” Jungkook grabs a cart and starts toward the bedding section.

“You do! Oh my god, that’s so adorable. I wanna see when we go back to the dorm,” Jimin says as they stop near a stand with sheets of all different colors.

“Okay, sure,” Jungkook responds. He starts picking up different kinds, looking at the thread count like his mother told him to.

“You don’t want those ones” Jimin cringes. Jungkook shrugs, putting them down. He picks up a black one but Jimin is quick to shoot that one down too.

“What color do you want me to get then?” Jungkook is so confused as to why Jimin is being so picky.

“Dude, get the cream colored one. It’ll match with my stuff better,” Jimin grabs it, shoving it in the cart.

“I–okay. Don’t call me dude though, it’s weird.” Jungkook pushes the cart farther, towards the comforters.

“Then what should I call you?” Jimin plays with the fuzzy blankets in front of him.

“Uh–my name probably?” Jungkook answers a bit sarcastically.

“That’s a good idea! Too bad you didn’t tell me what it was,” Jimin retorts. Jungkook’s an idiot.

“Oh fuck, sorry. I’m Jeon Jungkook,” Jungkook was slightly embarrassed now.

“Jungkook- hmm. I’ll call you Koo if that’s okay with you,” Jimin says, not really asking. Jungkook nodded, moving to pick his comforter. He picked up a fluffy off-pink one, it was almost white really. He threw it in the cart, moving to the pillowcase section.

“Koo, do you have a good amount of money on you?” Jimin asked. Jungkook nodded. If only Jimin knew how much money he really had.

“Okay, cool, can I go get some snacks?” Jimin asks, starting to pout again. It was more cute this time. “I’m starving.”“I’ll come with you. I need to get some food anyway,” Jungkook answers.

The boys continue shopping together, walking through the aisles and buying whatever Jimin convinced Jungkook they needed. When they were done, they went to the register, piling all of it up for the employee. Jimin took Jungkook’s Starbucks card and shimmied away, getting himself a drink. (He got one for Jungkook too but it was much smaller.)

“Koo,” Jimin says, face covered in shock.

“Yeah?” Jungkook turns back to look at Jimin again but the boy doesn’t answer. Instead, he pays for his stuff and starts pushing the cart away.

“Koo, that was a lot of money,” Jimin continues, “how’d you pay for that?” Jungkook shakes his head and laughs, thinking back to how his brother gave him the card. He had told him to buy anything he needed, and to see the look on Jimin's face, it was worth it.

“My brother. He gives me money,” Jungkook answers as he starts loading things into the car. Jimin stands there, holding their drinks.

“Okay, but still. Did your brother rob a bank or something?” Jungkook laughs again, looking up to Jimin to see if he’s being serious.

“No, he didn’t. He’s a producer, he makes a lot of money.” Jungkook shuts the trunk, walking the cart back to its area.

“What’s his name?” Jimin asks. Jungkook really can’t figure out why the boy has so many questions.

“Min Yoongi. He was adopted from Daegu. Never changed his last name to mine,” Jungkook answers, getting in the car. Jimin plops into his seat too, pushing their drinks into the center console.

“I’ve never heard of him. You’ll have to let me meet him sometime,” Jimin says, turning the music back up. They drive back in relative silence, Jimin singing to music and hanging his hand out the window. When they get back, they haul their purchases back to their room.

Jimin organizes Jungkook’s things, claiming, “Koo, you can’t do it like that, it looks horrible.”

Jungkook sleeps that night looking at beautiful golden skin from across the room. It’s almost comforting––having someone to spend time with. It might end up to be someone who will be his friend. Maybe.

The next morning, Jungkook wakes up confused. It takes him a couple minutes before he realizes where he is. When he does, he sits up, seeing Jimin already awake.

“Hey there Koo, didn’t think you’d ever wake up.” Jimin moves to grab his phone off the dresser.

“What fuckin time is it?”

Jimin laughs, checking his phone. “Around two pm. I’m going to get a late lunch. Be back.” With that, he leaves the room.

After about a half an hour, Jungkook gets up and showers. With a week until classes actually start, he doesn’t really have anything to do. He figures he can dance, considering that Jimin’s gone. It’s only an added plus that Jimin has a huge mirror in his corner of the room.

He turns on some song on his playlist, this time it happens to be No Limit by Usher. The music takes him, moving his arms and legs. He gets so lost in it that he doesn’t realize the song’s on repeat. He keeps moving, starting the odd routine he’s made up over again when the song loops.

Around the fifth time he’s done it, he hears clapping from the other side of the room. He jumps, hastily moving to turn off the music. He sees a beaming Jimin, still clapping even though Jungkook stopped.

“Koo oh my god, you didn’t tell me that you dance?” Jimin says, moving closer to Jungkook, who starts biting his lip, crossing his arms so his palms lay flat on his biceps.

“Um, I don’t,” Jungkook responds.

“Koo, yes you do. That’s really good. I was on the dance team, you can’t argue with me.” Jimin looks so happy, but Jungkook can’t help but be uncomfortable.

“Uh, well, thank you,” Jungkook says, not moving from his nervous position.

“Did you sign up for the dance team? I’m sure the crew would love to have you,” Jimin asks. Jungkook shakes his head, making Jimin frown.

“Aw, Koo, please, you’d love it. I promise, they’re so nice there. You can’t just go to a performing arts school and not do something you’re good at.” Jungkook just continues biting his lip, not knowing how to respond.

“I don’t know…”

“Why not? Hmm?” Jimin crosses his arms, not letting it go. Jungkook really doesn’t mean to but he starts tearing up a little. He doesn’t even notice until he feels a warm tear run down his face.

Jimin’s face immediately softens, the boy moving to give Jungkook a hug. “Oh, Koo, I’m sorry, I didn’t know it would upset you.” The hug is awkward because Jungkook’s arms are still crossed but it’s kind of nice.

“I’m just not gonna be g-good enough,” Jungkook says, trying to pull himself together.

“Jungkook, you are good enough. What I saw was good, you need to join.” Jimin pulls back, hands resting on Jungkook’s shoulders. Jungkook sniffles.

“I don’t even know how I’d sign up.” Jimin smiles.

“I’ve got you.”

Jimin goes on his computer, pulling up the school website and registering Jungkook.

He didn’t know how it would turn out but there wasn’t any turning back now. Right?

~

Hoseok was always the friend people took for granted.

He was kind, giving to all. He would always ask people how they were doing, what they were thinking about. He never left anyone out of a group or let them stand alone at a party. Growing up in Gwangju with his grandmother made him this way. She taught him better manners than any boy he’d ever met. This was all fine for him. He didn’t mind being that friend.

But after a while, it was suffocating. No one ever stopped to ask if he was okay. He never asked himself if he was okay either. He never thought he was important in comparison to others. He turned to dancing as an instinct. That was the only time he could be himself, letting the music control him. The music never took more than it could give. It was his first love––that and Gwangju. But as soon as he was old enough, Hoseok got as far from there as he could. He ended up at Seoul University, a performing arts school where maybe he could get what he wanted. He stayed there for three more years, this year being his last one. He’s a senior.

Now in charge of the Seoul dance department, he’s gotten what he had always wanted. Appreciation. People would compliment his dancing, his leadership, his pride. It’s almost like he got out of his own way. But something’s still missing. It was always like that. A hole, somewhere in his heart that needed to be patched up.

It’s the first day of the first semester. Hoseok gets up like he always does, to no roommate bothering him. It was lonely at times but as an upperclassmen, he got a single room.

He made his way to class, this being the one he semi-taught. Most of the upperclassmen already knew how to dance pretty well, and knew how to following instructions. His job was to guide the new people, teach them techniques and help them find their own style.

The building was close enough to walk, just across the lawn. Hoseok liked walking, he could see the flowers that bloomed there, the ones that die in the winter but come back prettier than ever in the spring.

He arrives at class, the rest of the crew from last year there along with some new faces. Hoseok smiles at Taemin, the official class instructor, as he throws his bag in his cubbie.

“Hey Taemin, it’s nice seeing you,” Hoseok says, smiling even wider. Taemin nods at him as he sits down to start stretching.

“Haven’t seen your face since spring, thought you’d at least text me over the summer,” Taemin replies. Hoseok keeps smiling. Always smiling.

“Ha, yeah sorry about that. I guess I forgot.” Hoseok walks away, over to where they usually keep the group assignments.

“Oh, we aren’t doing that this year. There weren’t as many recruits so we’re only doing one group, with the rest being one-on-one. I think you’re with someone named Jungkook?” Taemin says, walking over to his phone. He opens it and scrolls through something before nodding. “I think I’ll just gather everyone up and announce the names.” Taemin moves to the center of the room and yells for everyone to circle up. Hoseok stands close behind him, hands on hips. It’s a habit he picked up from being Taemin’s helper, since he does it often.

“Okay guys, for those of you who are on crew, we aren’t doing our usual line up. Since there aren’t as many people as last year, we only have one group, so everyone else is one-on-one with a partner. Because of this, when we do stuff for shows, we’ll put the partners in groups…” at this point, Hoseok isn’t listening. He isn’t doing much of anything. All he can do is focus on the boy in front of him. His soft, golden skin, his beautiful pink lips, the cute little freckle underneath them. He even has small stud earrings, which are somehow visible through the black, coconut cut hair.

The boy looks nervous, scared even. His arms are wrapped around his body in what looks like a self-hug. Hoseok’s never seen anyone so cute. He’s still reminding himself to breathe when he hears Taemin say, “...and Hoseok will be with Jeon Jungkook.”

He looks up to see everyone else standing with their partners. The boy is alone. He starts to walk to Hoseok, slowly, shyly. Hoseok can barely register what’s going on around him. He’s never been nervous like this. He’s always comfortable around people, keeping his smile on. But his smile has been replaced by parted lips and wide eyes.

“Hi,” the boy says, “I’m Jungkook.” Hoseok pulls himself together enough to notice that Jungkook has put his hand out. He shakes it but easily gets lost in Jungkook’s eyes. They’re a beautiful brown, like milk chocolate, but they sparkle like stars. He could’ve stayed like that all day but he hears Jungkook start to say something.

“Um, could you let go of my hand please?”

Hoseok looks down to see that he is indeed still holding Jungkook’s hand. He immediately lets go, backing up nervously.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, you’re just beautiful,” Hoseok says. Jungkook’s eyes widen and only then does Hoseok realize that he said that out loud. “Fuck, no I didn’t mean that-” Hoseok tries to cover up but that’s even worse. “I mean, you are beautiful, but I didn’t mean to say that. You know–to your face.” Jungkook looks confused but he laughs.

“It’s okay, just a little odd,” Jungkook says. He seems confused. Makes sense. Hoseok looks around the room to see everyone actually dancing. He shakes his head, trying to clear away his stupidity. He starts to walk out of the room, Jungkook following closely behind him. They enter their practice room, Hoseok holding the door for Jungkook.

“Well we should probably begin. I’m Hoseok, by the way.” Jungkook nods as Hoseok moves to the corner with his phone, plugging it into the sound system. “Any song preferences?”

“What do you mean?”

“Songs that you like?”

“No, I mean what is the song for?” Jungkook questions. Hoseok shakes his head again.

“Sorry, I should’ve explained. You have to dance for a little bit, to show me what skills you have. That way I can better instruct you. It was on the email we sent out last week.” Jungkook nods, biting his lip at the same time. Hoseok stares at him.

“So um, a song?” Hoseok tries again.

“Um No Limit? It’s by Usher,” Jungkook answers. Hoseok types in the song, trying to go fast so this awkward silence will disappear. He finds it and turns up the volume all the way, backing away from Jungkook so he has room. He looks a little lost at first, still biting his lip. Hoseok’s about to say something but Jungkook starts moving. It’s good. A little shaky, like it hasn’t been practiced. But his dancing is smooth, precise. When he’s done he laughs quietly to himself for a second. It’s adorable.

“That was really good, Jungkook. Why aren’t you majoring in dance?”

“It wasn’t good,” Jungkook retorts, shaking his head unbelievingly.

“It could’ve been better, but I’m guessing you didn’t actually practice that.”

“Well, uh, my friend actually convinced me to sign up for this class a week ago so I didn’t know.”

“What are you majoring in then?”

“Music production.”

“Oh. Cool.”

“Yeah.” Their conversation dies there, Jungkook standing awkwardly in front of Hoseok. By then, the other partners are moving on to the next activity. Hoseok and Jungkook carry on like that–working, stopping, and talking– for the rest of the class. When it ends, Jungkook slides out of the room as fast as possible. Hoseok leaves too, his heart a little heavier than when he arrived.

~

“I’m sorry, what?” Jimin is beaming at Jungkook. They’re sitting on Jungkook’s bed, talking about their respective first days.

“I don’t know, it was really weird,” Jungkook starts. “At first he looked pissed off, he was just staring at me. I introduced myself and shook his hand but he wouldn’t let go.” Jimin laughs at this, his eyes gone between the crescents of his eyelids.

“This, oh my god, this is too good. Keep going.”

“Well I asked him to let go of my hand and he just says, ‘Fuck, sorry, you’re beautiful,’ and I was like what the fuck? I mean, I didn’t say that but I was thinking it. Then I guess he realized what he said and was like, ‘Oh I didn’t mean that,’ so I was confused as hell but then he corrected himself by saying that he did think I was beautiful but didn’t mean to say it out loud.” Jungkook finishes explaining and Jimin continues to laugh.

“Who is this guy anyway?” Jimin asks, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.

“My instructor, I said that.”

“No, I mean what’s his name?”

“Oh, Hoseok. I’m pretty sure Taemin said his last name was Jung.”
Jimin’s eyes widen and his mouth drops open.“Hold the fuck up. Jung Hoseok? Tall? Brown hair that’s always slightly curly?”

“Um I guess, yeah?” Jungkook starts to rub his hands up his arms, slightly uncomfortable.

“Hoseok is the head of the dance team here, Jungkook, oh my god. He’s a senior. He’s also one of the nicest people I’ve met here.”

“Wait, you know him? Like personally?”

“I mean yeah, I was on the dance team last year before I switched majors. You’ll be fine.”

Jungkook gives Jimin a questioning look. Hoseok did seem nice but he was... odd. Not in a bad way, but there was something about him that Jungkook could tell was off. Or maybe it was just him.

“Don’t look so nervous about it. Maybe he’ll ask you out.” Jimin winks at him, climbing off the bed.

“Where are you going?”

Jimin puts his jacket on, heading for the door.

“I told you, Taehyung is taking me to meet some friend of his that he thinks I’ll like. I’ll see you later.” With that, he’s gone.

Jungkook lays back, thinking through their brief interaction over and over again. Just because Hoseok found him attractive didn’t mean he’d want to date him. He doesn’t even know him. It’s not like he’d want to date Jungkook if he knew him anyway. He starts to spiral even more, not even changing out of his clothes before he falls asleep.

The next day of class is basically the same. No weird slip ups from Hoseok though. They dance, work on technique, do group activities. It’s nice. Hoseok’s nice. But Jungkook still feels something off and it makes his skin crawl. When the class ends, Hoseok calls Jungkook over.

“Hey Jungkook, can I talk to you for a second?”

Jungkook walks back over to him, nerves sky rocketing.

“I just wanted to apologize for being weird yesterday. You’re actually super cool. I hope we can be friends.” Hoseok smiles at him. Jungkook shivers. The smile. There’s something wrong with it. Jungkook shoves it off to answer.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I’d like to be friends too,” Jungkook replies. Hoseok smiles wider, faker almost.

“Could I have your number? So we can hang out?” Hoseok holds his phone out, smile still there. Jungkook returns the smile before grabbing it. He puts his number and name in, handing it back.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then?” Hoseok asks. Jungkook nods and starts to walk away. He’ll never get used to that amount of smiling. Especially if they’re directed at him.

The next two weeks continue like this. Jungkook going to class, talking to Hoseok a little bit, maybe laughing at something he does. He slowly gets more comfortable around him, starts joking around too. When he leaves class, Hoseok says goodbye to him. It’s nice. To have a friend.

On a Saturday when he doesn’t have class, Jungkook gets a text from an unknown number. He’s laying in bed, unsurprisingly, doing homework. He opens the message. It reads:

Unknown: hey, Jungkook, busy?

Weird.
Jungkook: who’s this?
Unknown: ah sorry, it’s Hoseok
Jungkook: oh. hi. no i’m not busy, you have something in mind?
Hoseok: was wondering if you wanted to go out? maybe get some food and hang out in the city?

Jungkook stands up, moving towards his dresser.

Jungkook: yeah, sounds good. need me to pick you up?

Jungkook puts his phone down, grabbing a black button up shirt and a leather jacket.

Hoseok: ha, you got a car?
Jungkook: yeah

Conversation isn’t his strong suit. He pulls on a pair of jeans and slips into black boots.

Hoseok: damn okay, see you in 10?

Jungkook laughs a little, it is a little odd of a freshman to have a car.

Jungkook: okay, what building are you in?

Jungkook answers back, grabbing his keys and wallet.

Hoseok: building B. funny that you assumed i wasn’t in an apartment.

Jungkook almost laughs at that but starts to freak out at the ‘building B’ part of the message. Instead of answering, he decides to go downstairs and wait inside his car, that way Hoseok won’t figure out that he lives in the same building.

A couple minutes later, Jungkook sees Hoseok coming out of the front door of the building. He rolls down his window. “Hoseok, over here.” Jungkook waves, trying to get his attention. Hoseok spots him, smiling as he walks over to the car.

“Hey, Jungkook. Nice car. You rich or something?” Hoseok buckles then moves to turn the music on.

“Not me, my brother.” Jungkook answers. Hoseok raises his eyebrows, still clicking through the stations. “Seok, just use the aux,” Jungkook says, handing him the cord. Hoseok makes a face but Jungkook doesn’t see it, eyes on the road.

“Did you just call me Seok?” Hoseok asks with a shy grin.

Jungkook panics a little. Whoops.

“Uh, yeah. Is that okay?” Jungkook looks at him quickly before looking back at the road.

“Yeah, that’s fine. Just funny,” Hoseok answers, finally playing some music.

“Why’s it funny?” Jungkook asks, starting to regret ever speaking.

“I don’t know. It’s kinda cute.” Hoseok says this completely calm, somehow unaware of Jungkook’s inner struggle. He tries to change the subject.

“So, um, where are we going?”

Hoseok is simply scrolling through albums on his phone.

“You’re the one driving, shouldn’t you know that?”

Jungkook panics more, looking at Hoseok with wide eyes.

Hoseok laughs. “Jesus, Kook, I was kidding. You’re always so worried.” Jungkook laughs a little but doesn’t find it funny at all. “Turn right up here.” Hoseok continues to direct him until they reach a parking garage. They park there, Hoseok insisting to help pay for the parking ticket but Jungkook doesn’t let him. They get out of the car and Jungkook is confused again.

“Where to now, Seok?”

Hoseok laughs at him.

“You’re adorable, oh my god. Like a lost dog.” Hoseok walks over to where Jungkook is standing. “Just give me your hand.” He reaches out his hand, waiting for Jungkook. Jungkook hesitantly intertwines their fingers, refusing to look Hoseok in the eye. Hoseok laughs again, starting to pull Jungkook. They walk for a block or two in silence. It isn’t awkward. It’s nice.

They reach a cute restaurant called, ‘The Place.’ Hoseok releases his hand to open the door. It feels like a loss, but Jungkook ignores it. Hoseok tells the hostess that they have a reservation for two.

“A reservation? How fancy, Seok.” Jungkook says, following the woman to their table. Jungkook sits on the side facing a window, Hoseok sitting across from him.

“Our specials tonight are on the small white menu and everything else is on the large menu,” the hostess explains. “Can I get you guys drinks or do you need a second?”

Jungkook’s about to say he needs a second when Hoseok answers instead. “I’ll have a iced tea lemonade and he’ll have a banana milk.” Hoseok smiles that smile at her, thanking her as she walks away.

“How’d you know I’d want a banana milk?” Jungkook questions. Hoseok laughs.

“That’s all you drink every time you come to class. What else would you have?”

Jungkook blushes slightly, unaware that he was so obvious before. They look over the menus, Jungkook slightly nervous.

“Seok,” he says quietly, biting his lip. Hoseok makes a noise of acknowledgement, looking up at him over his menu. “Have you been here before?” Hoseok nods. “Is the jajangmyeon good?”

Hoseok laughs. “Yeah it’s good, you want that?”

Jungkook nods, still biting his lip.

“Seok?” Hoseok looks back up.

“Yes, Kook?”

“Could we share that?” He looks at him, nervous. Hoseok looks slightly confused.

“You don’t want your own?”

Jungkook shakes his head. “I always share. My brother would always get a main dish and a little dish and we shared.” Jungkook is pouting slightly while saying this, nervous that Hoseok will think he’s weird.

“Sure Kook, you’ll just have to sit closer to me.”

Jungkook nods, scooting his chair so he’s right next to Hoseok. The waitress comes back then, putting their drinks down.
“Could I get you two something to eat?” She takes out her little notepad and pen, looking at them patiently.

Hoseok orders for them, ordering a side plate of kimchi as well, per Jungkook's request. The waitress takes their menus and walks away, leaving them alone again.

“Kook?” Jungkook looks over at Hoseok.

“Yeah?” He bites his lip slightly.

“Why are you holding my wrist?”

Jungkook looks down to see that he is, indeed, squeezing Hoseok’s wrist.

“Oh, sorry,” he whispers, pulling his hand away. He doesn’t get far, however, before Hoseok grabs it, pulling it back and intertwining their fingers. He props his head up on his other hand, looking at Jungkook.

“You okay Kookie?” Hoseok asks. Jungkook bites his lip harder, looking over at the older. “You seem really nervous.”

“I get nervous around people I don’t know,” Jungkook says, not really looking Hoseok in the eye.

“You know me though,” Hoseok says, nudging him slightly. Jungkook laughs.

“I’m not nervous because of you, just the waitress,” Jungkook nudges back. Hoseok nods, making a sound of understanding.

“Tell me more about this brother of yours, he seems nice,” Hoseok says.

From there, they start talking a lot about Jungkook. About how Yoongi was adopted, how they grew close, how he protected him all the time, encouraged him to be who he wanted to, how he’s successful now. Hoseok listens to it all, commenting in some areas. Jungkook talks about his childhood in Busan a little, about how he started dancing when he was young. He even mentions how Kiki’s Delivery Service used to scare him, making Hoseok laugh.

The waitress comes back over with their food, and Jungkook lets go of Hoseok to eat, again feeling that loss of contact. As they eat, Hoseok talks a little of Gwangju, how his sister basically raised him. How his parents had given them up, causing his grandmother Mei to move to Korea from Japan. About how his sister and him would have shows for Mei, Hoseok dancing and Jiwoo with ‘fashion.’

It’s calm, the way they talk to each other. More natural then Jungkook has ever been around someone.

When they’re done, Jungkook quickly grabs the bill from Hoseok, paying for it all. Hoseok pouts at him, saying how they should at least split it, but Jungkook won’t let him. They leave the restaurant, Hoseok grabbing Jungkook’s hand. The comfortable silence envelopes them again as Hoseok guides them to the river. They find a seat on the edge, Jungkook sitting closer to Hoseok so he can lean his head on his shoulder.

“What did you want to be when you grew up, as a kid?” Hoseok asks Jungkook.

Jungkook laughs, playing with a rock. “I wanted to be a doctor like my mom. She’s amazing. I wanted to be just like her.” Jungkook throws the rock across the water, watches as it skips.

“You seem to really love your parents.” Hoseok comments.

“I do. They were the best parents anyone could’ve had. They were always there when I needed them. I miss my dad,––he died when I was ten. My stepdad is fine. He just isn’t my dad. He doesn’t treat my mom the same. Yoongi and I originally bonded over that dislike for him. But my mom is everything I wished to be.” Jungkook looks at the sky, taking a deep breath. Wherever his father is, he hopes he’s happy.

“That’s cute.” Hoseok tightens the grip he has on Jungkook’s hand.

“What about you? What did you want to be when you grew up?” Jungkook leans in further, almost on top of Hoseok at this point. But it’s not awkward. It’s nice.

“I-” Hoseok starts but stops. He looks down at his lap, laughing a bit. “I wanted to be happy.”

Jungkook hums in acknowledgement. “And are you?” he asks. Hoseok takes a second. Jungkook almost thinks he won’t answer. But he does.

“I am right now. Here, with you. You’re a good friend,” Hoseok smiles at him. Not the same smile that he always has but a new one. One that actually looks happy. It makes Jungkook smile back.

“You too, Seok.” They stay there a little longer, watching the river and looking at the stars.

Eventually Jungkook gets cold, and Hoseok agrees so they head back to the dorms. Jungkook pulls into the Building B parking lot, getting out with Hoseok. Hoseok gives him a weird look.

“You coming back to my room?” Hoseok asks. Jungkook raises his eyebrows, a bit confused. “I mean you can, I only have one bed though.” Jungkook then realizes his earlier plan to not let Hoseok know they live in the same building. Whoops.

“No I’m not. I live here too,” Jungkook responds, starting to walk away in order to avoid making eye contact with Hoseok. Hoseok continues after him, a bit slowly.

“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?” Hoseok asks as Jungkook presses the elevator button.

“You didn’t ask,” Jungkook replies. Hoseok laughs, shaking his head. They enter the elevator, Jungkook’s hand hovering over the panel on the wall. “What floor?”

“Two,” Hoseok responds. Jungkook presses it, moving to lean on the elevator wall.

“Aren’t you gonna press yours?” a confused Hoseok asks.

“That is mine.” Jungkook responds, looking over at him.

“So we live in the same building, on the same floor,” Hoseok says. Jungkook nods. “Tell me what your room number is.” Jungkook fidgets slightly. It’s weird. That he could tell Hoseok anything but he can’t seem to be comfortable with the idea of him knowing where he lives.

“Four,” Jungkook says. Hoseok smiles at him so large that it scares him.

“Kook, oh my fucking god. We literally live right next to each other, what the hell.” Hoseok laughs more, still shaking his head in disbelief. Jungkook laughs with him. It is kind of funny. “Well now that we know, that means we can hang out more. I have a TV in mine so we can watch movies and shit. You wanna come over tonight?”

Jungkook nods slowly, a little taken back by the request– and worried about being Hoseok’s bed. By then, the elevator door is opening to their floor. They walk together to Hoseok’s room. Although it’s right next to Jungkook’s it looks nothing like it. He has an open area, a bed in one corner, a tv on the wall, a mini kitchen in the other corner.

“It’s really nice in here.” Jungkook slides off his shoes, walking over to grab a chair from the kitchen.

“Kook, what are you doing?” Hoseok asks.

“Getting a chair, so I can sit?”

“Just sit on my bed, you weirdo,” Hoseok responds.

Jungkook walks over to his bed, sliding off his jacket and scooting back. Hoseok goes over to his dresser, grabbing what looks like an old white t-shirt. He unbuttons his current shirt, switching it to the other one.

Jungkook is kind of watching but also not watching for the sake of privacy and his little gay heart. But then Hoseok starts to take his belt off, so Jungkook makes sure to look away, playing a game on his phone. When Hoseok’s put on sweatpants, he crawls on to the bed, sitting next to Jungkook.

“What do you wanna watch?” Hoseok asks, turning on the tv. Jungkook bites his lip.

“Do you have Studio Ghibli movies?” he asks quietly.

“Um I might, hold on.” Hoseok get up, going over to a box in the corner of the room. He looks around for a bit. Jungkook almost tells him to stop but he finds something. “Ha, I knew I had Howl’s in here.”

Hoseok puts the movie in, returning to the bed with Jungkook. Jungkook is way more excited then he’d ever let on. He loves these movies so much. Even when he was a kid and Kiki’s Delivery Service scared him, he loved them.

At some point, he gets tired and curls into Hoseok’s side. The last thing he remembers is Hoseok saying, “Night, Kookie.”

~

Hoseok wakes up to Jungkook drooling on his arm. He smiles, looking at the boy. He’s glad to have gotten to know him outside of class. It’s nice to actually smile.

They continue to do this for a while. Every night they can, they watch movies. Every Saturday, they go out to the same place and eat dinner, going to the river after. It’s nice to have a friend like that. One that cares about you a little more than you care about yourself.

It’s almost Halloween, meaning they’ll have a small show for the college kids. Hoseok isn’t stressed though. It’s in two days, they’ve practically perfected their routine. These have always been fun. Taemin put him and Jungkook with Jisung and Ten, Ten being his age.

It’s a Wednesday, but Jungkook hadn’t stayed in his room last night. Something about Jimin needing to complain about some boy. Hoseok hadn’t originally cared but it was hard. Sleeping without the warm body next to him felt weird. Unnatural.

Now, he’s in class, waiting for said boy, when Taemin gathers everyone up.

“Okay, guys, usually when we have this show, we just have a crew party after. But this year, Jeno suggested that we have the party at the Alpha Phi Alpha house so it can be bigger. You don’t have to come, but it’s encouraged. That’s it for now.” Everyone nods, some smiling and whispering to their friends. As people start to get back into their partners, Jungkook finally enters the room.

“Kook, where have you been?” Hoseok gives him a disapproving look.

“Sorry, sorry. I woke up late.” He throws his bag in the corner, moving towards Hoseok.

“You never wake up late.” Hoseok sits down and starts stretching.

“I know, I just had trouble falling asleep.” Jungkook avoids Hoseok’s eyes while saying this. Did Jungkook have trouble falling asleep because he wasn’t with him? Hoseok shakes his head, everyone has off days sometimes. He isn’t that special.

“You missed the announcement.” He stands up, moving to grab his phone.

“Ah, what’d he say?” Jungkook bends over, touching his toes.

“The crew party is being moved to the big frat house so that they can get wasted.” Hoseok stands, waiting for Jungkook.

“Ew, sounds horrible.” Jungkook stands up, finally ready.

“Will you come with me? I don’t wanna go alone.” Hoseok pleads. Jungkook wrinkles his nose, eyes narrowing. “Please Kookie?” Hoseok pouts, trying to convince him.

“Ugh fine. But if you leave me alone I’ll ditch you.” Jungkook says, crossing his arms. Hoseok smiles.

“I wouldn’t leave you.” It was meant to sound like an affirmation to Jungkook’s condition, but instead sounds romantic. Jungkook starts biting his lip, slight blush on his face. Hoseok just starts playing the music, moving to stand in front of the mirror. Jungkook follows him. They don’t talk much that class. But it’s not awkward. It never is.

~

It’s the day of the show. They’re wearing their zombie outfits that the make-up crew picked for them. Jungkook loves it, having been a zombie once as a kid. Their group got lucky in the picking for songs. They got Thriller by Michael Jackson. Hoseok and Ten had put him and Jisung in the front, saying they needed to “be more confident.”

Jungkook didn’t care much, but he was a little worried about Jisung. They’re the last act, going up in a couple of minutes. They’re all waiting for Hoseok to show up.

The auditorium is pretty big. The lights are blinding, but Jungkook knows that Jimin is somewhere in the crowd.

Taemin’s group steps off the stage, Chan’s moving up. Jungkook’s biting his lip, gripping the chair he’s standing near. He feels a tap on his shoulder. Turning around, he sees Hoseok, smiling too close to his face.

“Thank god, Hoseok,” Jungkook raises his eyebrows in a condemning way. “I didn’t think you were gonna show up.”

“You don’t have to worry about me, I always come through.” Hoseok smiles again, still too close. Jungkook rolls his eyes, turning back around. Chan’s group finishes, bowing and smiling before they exit the stage. Jungkook starts moving, going to his place on the stage.

He looks out for a second, seeing Jimin waving frantically. He smiles, waving back. The music starts, the creaking sound filling the theater. Jungkook starts moving his body to the music, letting it take him. The moves are rough and quick, different from his usual smooth dancing. He does everything right, his muscles remembering them from the hours of practice he’d put in.

Even Jisung does, smiling the whole time. Before he knows it, they’re done, finishing with the dance with their complicated group move, (something Hoseok had come up with). The crowd claps, Jimin screaming over the whole theater. Jungkook is smiling wider than he ever had, happy that he finally got to do what he wanted.

Everyone else is coming back out to the stage, making a line across the front. They all hold hands, a familiar one grasping him tighter than the other. When they’re all together, they bow, everyone cheering and clapping for them. He loves it. Especially since Hoseok’s with him.

They move off the stage, going to get changed. After, he finds Hoseok outside by his car, leaning on the door. “You did really well, Kook. I’m proud of you.” Hoseok grins.

“Did you think I was gonna do bad?” Jungkook says back, uncomfortable from Hoseok’s compliment. Hoseok laughs.

“Not at all. Jisung, however…” Jungkook laughs at that, getting in the car. Hoseok follows him, grabbing the aux like always.

“Do you know where this house is?” Hoseok nods so Jungkook starts the car, driving to the exit. Hoseok directs him from there, the house only being ten minutes away. Jungkook makes sure to park a couple houses down, not wanting his car to get ruined by some frat boy.

They get out of the car, and Hoseok waits on the sidewalk for him. Jungkook hadn’t noticed before, but Hoseok looks good. Maybe too good. His hair is curly, but controlled. He’s wearing a plain white shirt, matching his white ripped jeans. His black belt stands out against them, but not as much as his golden bomber jacket. The sparkles on the jacket make his eyes stand out even more than they usually do.

Jungkook’s wearing a black shirt with black ripped jeans and a black belt, the only contrast being his white suspenders. He didn’t really touch his hair after the show, leaving it to be middle parted and fluffy.

Jungkook moves to him, Hoseok then grabbing his hand. Jungkook gives him a little smile before they start walking.

“Don’t get too drunk. We still have class tomorrow,” Hoseok says in a scolding tone. Jungkook laughs.

“No worries, mom.” Hoseok flicks him, making Jungkook laugh more. The frat house is already packed, people everywhere, from the lawn to the roof. Jungkook just squeezes Hoseok’s hand harder, nerves getting stronger. When they’re inside, they push their way around, trying to find drinks. Jungkook can’t help to notice how all the people look so happy. He’d never been to a party back in Busan.

In the center of the house, people are dancing. Some are just grinding on others. In the living area, there are people smoking and drinking, but it’s calmer. There’s a game of beer pong set up in the dining room, music blasting. When they reach the kitchen, it isn’t any less chaotic. There’s liquid everywhere, and every surface is sticky. Hoseok grabs two drinks, handing one to Jungkook. Hoseok drags him back to the dining room, squeezing his hand.

“Can we get next?” Hoseok yells to a boy.

“Hoseok! Yes of course you can. I can’t believe you actually came.” The boy pulls him in to a hug. Hoseok lets go of his hand, making Jungkook shiver from the loss of touch. Hoseok laughs, moving back to Jungkook’s side.

“Couldn’t miss a party thrown by the great Jaehyun.” Hoseok says, winking. Jungkook stiffens. The boy, Jaehyun, smiles back at Hoseok.

“You mind introducing me to your friend here?” Jaehyun says, gesturing to Jungkook. Jungkook’s eyes widen, his shoulders rising. He starts biting his lip, looking to Hoseok.

“Ah, this is Jungkook. He’s my trainee this year,” Hoseok says.

Jaehyun nods, smirking,“Interesting, I haven’t seen him before.”

Jungkook can’t think of a way to respond so he just raises the cup to his lips, slowly drinking the entire thing. Hoseok continues talking to Jaehyun, waiting for the current game of beer pong to end. Jungkook finishes his cup, leaving him with nothing to do.

He decides to stare at the people around the table. There’s two people on one side. They look like brothers, though they could be best friends. One is tall, has short black hair and blue eyes. The other has the same hair but he’s shorter and more muscular. On the other side of the table, there’s two girls. The one girl is tall and has long blonde hair, the other is really short and has curly black hair. Jungkook thinks that maybe these four are two couples going against each other.

The short girl gets her last ping pong ball in the cup, winning the game. They celebrate, the boys looking deflated. They move away, Jaehyun moving to set up the next game. “Hoseok, be my partner,” he says, pulling Hoseok over to his side of the table. Hoseok laughs, standing with him.

“Kook, go to the other end,” Hoseok tells him. Jungkook nods, moving to the other side. He’s slightly upset that he doesn’t get to play with Hoseok, considering that he came here with him. Another boy walks up to the table, taping Jungkook on the shoulder.

“Hey, you need a partner?” Jungkook turns around, seeing the boy standing behind him. He’s a bit taller than Jungkook, has fluffy black hair, and green eyes. He’s wearing all black, from his jacket to his shoes.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“I’m Hyunjin, by the way.”

“Jungkook.” Jungkook turns back around, facing the game. He refuses to make eye contact with Hoseok. Either out of nervousness or displeasure, he doesn’t know. They start the game, Jaehyun getting two in and Hyunjin getting three. Although they’re doing well, he’s still too nervous to interact much. When Hoseok takes the ball, he gets a shot in, Jungkook immediately picking it up and chugging it. Hoseok goes again, getting that one in too. Jungkook drinks. Hoseok keeps going, getting three more shots in before he messes up. Jungkook drinks all of them.

Hoseok is staring at Jungkook intensely but Jungkook is too annoyed at how much fun Hoseok appears to be having with Jaehyun to care. It’s his turn, he’s a little tipsy at this point so he’s holding on to Hyunjin’s forearm. He shoots, getting the ball in. He’s a little proud of himself, having never played this before. He keeps going, getting the next four shots perfect. He would’ve got the next one too but he gets distracted by Hoseok taking off his jacket, showing off more of his chest.

Hyunjin doesn’t seem to care, still shaking Jungkook and saying, “Kook” excitedly over and over. Jaehyun goes back up, only managing one shot. Hyunjin does the same. Hoseok goes back up, cracking his neck before he shoots. He gets it in, Jaehyun beaming behind him. As he’s setting up for the next one, Jungkook looks him directly in the eye and winks. He didn’t really mean to wink, but either the alcohol or his inability to control his body got to him. Hoseok takes a deep breath, throwing the ball, but misses. Jaehyun hits his shoulder, scolding him playfully.

Jungkook moves to go, still gripping on to Hyunjin tightly. He refuses to make eye contact with Hoseok, instead trying his hardest to line up the ball. He hears Hyunjin take a deep breath, making him slightly nervous but he ignores it. He shoots the ball, and watches in slow motion as it enters the cup. He jumps, yelling, along with Hyunjin who is ecstatic to have won.

He turns to Hyunjin, smiling widely. Hyunjin shakes him lightly, saying something like, “I’m so happy, I could kiss you.” Before he has time to process it, Hyunjin is, in fact, kissing him.

It scares him a little bit but he lets it happen, kissing back slightly. Hyunjin pulls away from his face, laughing and smiling.

“Kook, come with me. Come on,” Hyunjin pulls him and Jungkook’s too drunk to think anything of it. He doesn’t really realize where they’re going, but he’s being pulled through the dancing room. He hears his name in the distance but ignores it, thinking he’s hearing things.

They’re now in between the dancing room and the smoking room, and he’s being pushed against a wall. Hyunjin starts kissing him again, but stronger. He raises his hands, unsure of where to put them. Hands start to grip his waist. It’s all too much and he doesn’t know what to do but it suddenly stops. He opens his eyes to see an angry Hoseok yelling at an annoyed Hyunjin.

He’s still standing with his arms raised when Hoseok pulls him away, leading him towards the back porch. They go out, walking to the grassy area. Hoseok sits down, pulling Jungkook with him. Only then does Jungkook’s brain process what just happened and he freezes.

“Fuck.” Jungkook whispers, placing his head in his hands. His elbows are resting on his knees and his suspenders are falling off one shoulder. His head hurts a little, his stomach is worse. He lays down, staring at the stars.

“You good over there, Jungkook?” Hoseok asks, moving to lay next to him.

“Ew, what the fuck?” Jungkook asks, looking at Hoseok. Hoseok’s eyebrows scrunch.

“What?”

“Why’d you call me Jungkook?” Jungkook starts aggressively pulling at grass.

“I thought Hyunjin was the one who called you Kook?” Hoseok says, tilting his head to the side.

“Seok, I don’t even know the dude. He just kept kissing me––that shit was weird. And anyway, you know I don’t like bein around peoples that I don know,” he rambles, his words slurred as the alcohol courses through his bloodstream. “What was I gonna do, correct him?” Jungkook hits dirt, now using his other hand to pull grass. Hoseok sighs, grabbing Jungkook’s hand.

“I know, I’m sorry. Jaehyun’s an old friend of mine and I didn’t think it through. But I didn’t think you’d go around kissing boys,” Hoseok says, smiling at Jungkook. Jungkook laughs, a stupid, drunk laugh.

“You jealous or somethin?” Jungkook turns his head to Hoseok’s, their faces so close that he can feel his breath. “Hmm?” Jungkook adds, smiling at Hoseok sarcastically.

“A little,” Hoseok says, eyes on Jungkook’s lips. Oh.

Jungkook bites his lip subconsciously, drunk but aware of what Hoseok said. Hoseok moves his hand that isn’t holding Jungkook’s to his face, using his thumb to pull Jungkook’s lip from between his teeth. Jungkook isn’t breathing. Hoseok slowly moves his hand to the side of Jungkook’s face, eyes still on his lips. He leans forward, soft lips connecting with Jungkook’s.

Their lips move against each other and Jungkook notices how Hoseok tastes like cherries. Hoseok moves his body to hover over Jungkook’s. Jungkook can’t breathe but he keeps kissing Hoseok, his lips intoxicating.

Hoseok pulls back, resting his forehead on Jungkook’s. “We should go home,” Hoseok says. Jungkook makes a whinny noise.

“Why?” He pouts, sticking out his lips as far as he can.

“Because we have class tomorrow, and you’re drunk.” Hoseok rolls off of Jungkook and pushes himself to his feet. Jungkook frowns, looking up at Hoseok’s extended hand.

“But, Seok... I don’t wanna go home,” Jungkook whines. Hoseok rolls his eyes, leaning down to pick Jungkook up.

“I know you don’t want to, but we have to.” Hoseok starts walking, going around the house to the car.

“But Seok, I can’t drive.”

“I’ll drive, it’s okay.” Hoseok reaches the car, putting Jungkook down to get the keys from his pocket.

“You drank, Seok, you can’t drive,” Jungkook continues, still pouting.

“I only had one drink, Jaehyun had all the ones from the game.” Hoseok finds the keys and opens the car. He maneuvers Jungkook to sit in the car, leaning over him to buckle him. Jungkook stays quiet.

He watches as Hoseok gets in the car, buckles his own seat belt, then starts the ignition. He makes sure to put softer music on, not wanting to hurt Jungkook’s head. He drives slowly, not needing to get back anytime soon. They stop at some point, the red light making Hoseok glow. Jungkook leans over, running a finger down Hoseok’s face. Hoseok freezes, breath hitching. Jungkook stops at the bottom of his throat, shrinking back into his seat.

Hoseok keeps driving, not saying anything about the interaction. Eventually, they arrive at the dorms, Hoseok parking in Jungkook’s usual spot. Hoseok gets out, going to Jungkook’s side to help him. He tries to take a step. He can’t. Hoseok picks him up again. He walks to the elevator, leaning awkwardly to press the button. Hoseok starts humming to fill the silence, making Jungkook nuzzle into his neck. “Inside my blue dream, I want to contain you, even if you say no, inside my eyes,” Hoseok sang, walking into the elevator. He kept singing, adding, “Inside my blue dream, I want to hold you, even if you say we can't, inside my embrace.”

The elevator opens, Hoseok walking to his room singing, “Blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side.” It was so soothing, Jungkook almost falls asleep in his arms. Hoseok opens the door, putting Jungkook down for him to speedily run to the bathroom.

“Kook, where are you-” Hoseok follows after him only to see Jungkook emptying the contents of his stomach in the toilet. “Oh… okay.” Hoseok kneels down, rubbing Jungkook’s back. “Maybe we won’t drink so much next time, yeah?” Jungkook finishes, sitting back against the wall.

“I’m never drinkin again,” Jungkook slurs. Hoseok laughs.

“Mhh sure,” he mumbles as he stands up, pulling Jungkook with him.

He leads him to his bed, making Jungkook sit still. He takes off his shoes and socks (Jungkook hates sleeping in socks), then moves to take off his suspenders and belt. He grabs and extra pair of sweatpants, throwing them in Jungkook’s lap and going to the kitchen. Jungkook clumsily puts on the pants, falling back on the bed after. Hoseok returns with a glass of water, making Jungkook drink it as he changes. Surprisingly, he finishes it, placing it on the floor so he can lay down.

Hoseok moves next to him, letting Jungkook snuggle into his side.

“Seokie?” Jungkook says, breath tickling Hoseok’s neck.

“Yes, Kookie?” Hoseok answers, looking over at him.

“Can I have kiss g’night?” Jungkook slurs. Hoseok’s laughs, smiling at the boy in front of him.

“Of course, Koo.” Hoseok leans forward again, placing a short but sweet kiss to Jungkook’s lips. Jungkook hums, smiling as he nestles his head back into Hoseok’s neck. They fall asleep like that. Hoseok isn’t sure how this is gonna turn out. But for now, he has Jungkook next to him and the memory of a kiss on his lips.

~

Jungkook wakes up to the sun in his eyes and a throbbing pain behind his eyes. He slowly sits up, looking around the room the best he can. Hoseok is still sleeping next to him, his hair all over the place. The sun illuminates his skin perfectly, making the gold shine. He smiles. Hoseok is one of the best things in his life.

He gets up, moving to the kitchen to start coffee. If he was going to get through the day, he would need it. His head felt like it was slammed in a car door, and he must’ve thrown up at some point because his throat feels weird too. He opens the cabinets, finding unopened pancake mix directly next to measuring cups. Hoseok. Jungkook shakes his head in admiration, the boy organizing everything ‘his way’.

He puts it on the counter, moving to the other cabinet to find a bowl. He quietly puts it down, going to the fridge to get eggs and milk. Thankfully, Hoseok actually has them. His eyes dart over to Hoseok, still sleeping, but now holding onto a pillow. Jungkook’s heart does a weird thing. He ignores it.

He manages to make the mix without waking Hoseok or making a mess, now trying to find a pan. He does, under the stove. He carefully pours a perfect circle in the middle, attentively watching the bubbles that form. When they all pop, he cautiously flips it. He gives it a second before pushing it down. After a minute or two, he flips it again, making sure the other side is golden brown. He repeats this process three more times, making one more for himself, and two for Hoseok.

He puts them on the counter, pouring himself and Hoseok cups of coffee. He leaves his as it is but puts hot chocolate mix and milk in Hoseok’s. As soon as he figures that they’re perfect enough, he goes over to wake Hoseok up. He does this by jumping on the bed next to him, leaning into his side.

“Seokie,” he play-wines, shaking Hoseok lightly. He stirs but doesn’t wake up. Jungkook says it again. Nothing. “Hoseok, wake up,” he sing-songs, tickling Hoseok’s feet. A yelp and a kick later, Hoseok’s rubbing at his eyes.

“Why am I awake,” Hoseok asks, his voice like gravel. Jungkook laughs.

“Come eat, we have to go to class soon.” Jungkook pulls his hand lightly, Hoseok slowly placing his feet on the floor. He checks his phone, sighing.

“Kook, it’s only 8:30, why’d you get up so early?” Hoseok moves with him to the kitchen, eyes lighting up at the sight of food.

“Don’t know, just got up.” Jungkook sits down, picking up his fork. Hoseok follows, humming when he bites into his.

“You put chocolate chips in here,” Hoseok looks at him, smile taking over his face. Jungkook’s heart does that thing again. He ignores it.

“Yeah, you love chocolate chips,” Jungkook smiles briefly before turning back to his food. He can feel Hoseok looking at him but he doesn’t look back. They eat in silence, Jungkook getting up and cleaning his dishes when he’s done. He then moves over to where his clothes are on the floor, picking them up and grabbing his phone.

“Where you going?” Hoseok asks, now standing next to Jungkook.

“I was gonna go change and grab my bag. Tell Jimin I didn’t die. You know,” Jungkook keeps walking towards the door but Hoseok grabs his wrist. Jungkook looks down at Hoseok’s hand, then Hoseok. “Yes?”

Hoseok opens his mouth then closes it.

“What’s the last thing you remember from last night?” Hoseok asks. Jungkook’s eyebrows furrow, his head throbs.

“Um, I don’t know. Maybe um,” Jungkook tries, he really does, “I remember playing beer pong.” Hoseok’s eyes light up a little bit and he nods slightly. “I also remember winning.” Jungkook laughs at that, how Hoseok had lost to him even though he’d never played before. Hoseok doesn’t laugh.

“Is that it?” Hoseok asks, voice straining. It makes Jungkook nervous, so he starts to bite his lip. Hoseok’s eyes immediately look at his lips.

“Y-yeah, did something bad happen?” Jungkook’s voice is so small. Hoseok drops his wrist, his expresion deflating.

“No, I was just wondering if you had remembered anything at all since you drank so much,” Hoseok says, smiling. But not the real smile. Jungkook feels like he did something wrong, but he can’t remember. It hurts to know that Hoseok feels like he has to force a smile with him.

“Oh, um, okay. I’m just gonna go now,” Jungkook says, slowly walking towards the door. He waits for Hoseok to stop him. He doesn’t.

The rest of the week continues in awkward interactions. Everytime Jungkook sees Hoseok, the conversation is off. They can’t talk for hours like they usually do. Their talking is short, clipped. Hoseok doesn’t smile. Jungkook doesn’t laugh.

It’s painful. Jungkook can’t figure out what he did wrong. Why Hoseok wouldn’t tell him if he did. It’s not helpful that Jimin is basically missing either. He’s only in their dorm to grab clothes and leave. He doesn’t hang out with Jungkook. It had been like that for weeks but he only now realized it because Hoseok wasn’t hanging out with him either. Jungkook sleeps alone in his dorm, staring at the wall separating him from Hoseok. He starts to hate that wall.

Friday night, Jimin comes home. Jungkook’s laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. “Kook! Up you go, we’re going out,” Jimin stands in the doorway, beaming at Jungkook. Jungkook slowly sits up, staring at Jimin boredly.

“Why?” Jungkook asks, staring blankly at Jimin. Jimin frowns at this, walking over to Jungkook.

“Why are you sad?” Jimin says, pulling Jungkook into a hug. Jungkook lets it happen but doesn’t hug back.

“Hoseok hates me and my roommate doesn’t live with me anymore,” Jungkook responds, sliding back on to the bed. Jimin frowns again.

“Hoseok most likely doesn’t hate you. Also, I do live here but you’re never awake or home when I’m here.” Jimin says, sitting down next to Jungkook. “Tell me what happened.” Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“We went to the crew party last week and I got wasted. In the morning, Hoseok asked me if I remembered anything and when I said no, he looked so upset. But he told me that nothing was wrong and made a stupid joke. He gave me his fake smile Jimin, the fake one! I must’ve done something. He’s barely spoken to me all week,” Jungkook pout-speaks as he plays with the bottom of his sweatshirt. Jimin hugs Jungkook, patting his head.

“Kook, it seems like you’re overthinking this. If you had done something to make him mad, he would’ve told you. If he hasn’t talked to you it’s probably because you’re putting up walls and making it harder for him to. How could he ever hate you?” Jimin says in a calm, soothing voice. He has a point. Jungkook tends to make something out of nothing. But Hoseok had just been so off. “Come on, Kook, come out with me. You’ll feel better,” Jimin says, squishing the sides of Jungkook’s face.

“Okay, fine,” Jungkook agrees, getting up to change.

Jimin brings them to an odd building somewhere in the city. It’s short but wide. There’s no sign but Jimin seems confident on this being where they were supposed to go. They walk through the front door, after Jimin convinces the man at the front door that they’re ‘on the list’. The inside is loud, people everywhere. There’s obscure lighting scattered across the room, making it so you can only see the person directly in front of you.

There’s a small stage with a microphones on it. Besides the stage are two sets of speakers. Across from that is a bar, that’s where most of the people are. In the corner, there appears to be a staircase leading to the above balcony. Jimin leads him to the bar, getting himself two drinks and Jungkook a water. He then leads him to the corner of the room, near the staircase. There’s a booth that stretches along the wall.

“Taehyung,” Jimin shouts. Jungkook looks over to see a man sitting on the booth. He gets up, walking to Jimin.

“Jimin, I didn’t think you’d come. Aw, and you brought me a drink how nice.” The man, Taehyung, takes one and sits back down. Jimin sits next to him so Jungkook follows, awkwardly sitting on the edge of the seat. They start talking about something, Jungkook zoning out. He looks around more. There’s a lot of men, not a lot of women. The only women he sees are the ones pressed against each other. People are drinking heavily at the bar, some alone, others not.

“Who are you?” a deep voice says. He turns to see Taehyung staring at him, Jimin completely gone.

“Um, I’m Jungkook,” he says softly, biting at his lip. Taehyung follows the movement then looks back up.

“I’m Taehyung, I assume your Jimin’s friend?” Taehyung asks, taking a sip of his drink, staring at Jungkook.

“Yeah I am,” Jungkook answers. There’s an awkward silence, Taehyung just staring at Jungkook. “So um, do you know what this place is?” Jungkook asks, still biting his lip. Taehyung laughs at that.

“It’s a club, but after nine it’s a karaoke place. That’s when people tend to leave. Only the day drinkers and the drug dealers hang out here,” Taehyung answers, taking another sip of his drink. Jungkook scrunches his nose and tilts his head.

“But you’re here?” Jungkook says, not realizing what he was saying before he said it. Taehyung laughs, almost spilling his drink.

“Nice one. I’m here for the karaoke. Jimin and I usually come here together but he hasn’t been coming lately, probably because of that damn-” Taehyung gets cut off when Jimin comes back, sitting back down in between them.

“Kook, what song are you gonna sing?” Jimin asks, sipping his drink obnoxiously. Jungkook’s eyes widen.

“Um, I’m not singing. I’m not a singer,” Jungkook says, slight panic to his tone. Jimin rolls his eyes at him.

“Kook, we’ve been over this. You’re a good singer,” Jimin glares at him as he says it. “Perform ‘Dance to this,’ you love that song.” Jungkook’s biting his lip so hard that he starts to notice.

“Jimin, I don’t know,” Jungkook says, scanning the people in the room.

“Please, Kook,” Jimin pouts, eyes widened. Jungkook sighs.

“Fine, but only because I can’t stand your puppy dog eyes,” Jungkook says, getting up. Jimin smiles, dragging him over to the stand where the aux is. Jimin types in the song then pushes Jungkook to the center of the small stage.

The music starts playing, a soft rhythmic beat. He holds the microphone, starting to sing the song. “Young ambition, say we’ll go slow but we never do.” He’s too nervous and too shy, so all he’s doing is looking down at the floor. “Premonition, see me spending every night with you.”

He keeps his head up now, looking out at the people. No one’s paying attention to him, not even Jimin who’s disappeared again.

“Oh, yeah, under the kitchen lights, you still look like dynamite, and I wanna end up on you.” He unhooks the microphone but stays where he is. “Oh, don’t need no place to go, just put on the radio, you know what I wanna do.” There’s a pause in the song here, so he looks around again. He sees someone who looks familiar but doesn’t notice who it is until he sings- “We can just dance to this, don’t take much to start me, we can just dance to this, push up on my body, yeah.” Hoseok’s here. Staring at him. Watching him sing and sway his hips to the song. He should stop and talk to him but he keeps singing, maintaining eye contact. “You know we've already seen all of the parties, we can just dance to this, we, can just.”

At this point, Hoseok’s walking up to the stage. He steps up, taking the other microphone in his hand. Jungkook continues, “we can just, dance to this, dance to this, we can just dance to this.” There’s a brief pause where they look at one another. Neither says anything, they just look deep into each other’s eyes. Hoseok starts the next line, “Dear beloved, bring those 501s a bit closer, bit closer, and dear, my lover, do that thing we never do sober, sober.”

They’re both standing still, still looking. They sing the next part together. “Oh, yeah, under the kitchen lights, you still look like dynamite, and I wanna end up on you (yeah), oh, we don't need no place to go, just put on the radio, you know what I wanna do.”

At this, they both move closer to each other. They’re close, so close. As they sing the next part, they dance together, their bodies becoming one. “We can just dance to this, don't take much to start me, we can just dance to this, push up on my body, yeah, you know we've already seen all of the parties, we can just dance to this, we can just, we can just, dance to this, dance to this, we can just dance to this.”

People start to leave, like Taehyung said they would, but they don’t notice. All they care about is each other. They’re dancing so close and it’s almost too much because they haven’t been together all week but Jungkook pushes that feeling away. Being here with Hoseok is all he wanted, it’s what he needed. Hoseok looks at him with hooded eyes as Jungkook sings, “I don't wanna sleep tonight-night-night-night-night, I just wanna take that ride, I don't wanna sleep tonight-night-night-night-night, I just wanna take that ride.” Jungkook takes a deep breath, moving with Hoseok as they sing the chorus two more times. The song fades out, they look at each other, but they don’t speak.

Jungkook’s about to say something stupid but Hoseok grabs his hand, making him forget it. It feels so good to have Hoseok’s hand in his again. It had been too long. They aren’t alone but Hoseok can’t help but stare at Jungkook, his eyes moving all over the boy’s face.

“I missed you,” he whispers, eyes staring into his.

“I missed you too,” Jungkook answers, voice soft. Hoseok moves his other hand to Jungkook’s face, caressing the side. He leans forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Let’s never do that again, yeah?” Hoseok says it like a question, but Jungkook knows it’s not. He nods anyway, biting his lip.

“Can I come back to yours? I wanna snuggle,” Jungkook asks shly. Hoseok’s eyes sparkle at that, a soft smile, a real smile, appearing on his face.

“Of course, I missed you sleeping next to me,” Hoseok says, forehead now resting on Jungkook’s. Jungkook smiles, closing his eyes.

“Um, Kook, do you want your jacket?” Jimin says from the bottom of the stage. Jungkook turns to him, an angry glare in his eye. Hoseok grabs it for him, smiling at Jimin before he starts pulling Jungkook to the exit. Hoseok takes Jungkook’s keys from his jacket, going to the driver's seat. Jungkook happily sits in the passenger seat.

Hoseok puts on “Try Again”, the instrumental version. As he drives, Jungkook studies his facial features. The curve of his adam's apple, the smooth dip of nose that leads to soft, pink lips. The way the moonlight makes his skin glow. His soft, fluffy waves. Jungkook’s entranced, doesn’t even hear him speaking, he just stares at the way his jaw moves.

Jungkook feels like he’s done this before, studying his facial features. He wants to reach out and touch him, feel his skin under his fingers. He wonders what it would feel like to kiss those lips, to be lost in him. Jungkook’s never really known who he is but he would be okay with giving it all to him.

“Kook?” Hoseok asks, kneeling on the driver’s seat through the opened car door.

Jungkook finally snaps out of his trance, noticing that they’re back at their dorms.

“Oh, we’re home. Nice,” he says, sliding out of the car. Hoseok scoffs, following behind him.

“You fall asleep or something?” Hoseok ask, looking over at Jungkook once they reach the elevator.

“Something like that,” Jungkook answers. He bites his lip a little, nervous that Hoseok realized he was staring at him. The elevator door opens, and they move in. Jungkook presses the button then moves to stand next to Hoseok. Hoseok grabs his hand, interlacing their fingers. Jungkook smiles. They stay silent even when they leave the elevator, until they get to the door. Hoseok opens it, pulling Jungkook in.

“You wanna watch a movie?” Hoseok asks, taking off his shirt and changing into a pajama one.

“Mhh yeah, can we watch Castle in the Sky? I miss Laputa,” Jungkook says, pouting. Hoseok laughs.

“Baby, we’ve watched that one like ten times now, don’t you want to watch a new one?” Hoseok asks, throwing Jungkook a change of clothes. Jungkook’s heart stops.

“What’d you just say?” Jungkook asks. Hoseok turns around, smiling at him.

“I asked if you wanted to watch a different movie. We don’t have to though, I was just teasing,” Hoseok says, now walking over to the tv.

“No no, not that. You called me baby,” Jungkook says, biting his lip. Hoseok stops walking. He turns around slowly.

“Oh,” Hoseok’s eyes widen.

“Yeah..”Jungkook whispers, biting his lip more.

“Should I not call you that?” Hoseok asks. Jungkook’s heart does that thing again.

“I mean, you can,” Jungkook whispers.

“Do you want me to?” Hoseok asks, looking Jungkook in the eyes. Jungkook opens his mouth then lets it close. He bites his lip a little harder.

“Yeah,” he whispers, so low even Hoseok can’t hear him.

“Speak up, Kook,” Hoseok says softly.

“I want you to call me baby,” Jungkook responds. His voice isn’t loud but it’s feels like he’s screaming in the silent room. Hoseok visually swallows the lump in his throat, nodding.

“Castle in the Sky it is, then,” Hoseok changes the subject. The way Jungkook was looking at him was making his heart pound too fast and he didn’t want to say something stupid. He puts the movie in, moving back to the bed where Jungkook is now in pajamas. He kneels on the edge, re-organizing the pillows so Jungkook can lean on him. Then he lays down, putting his arm up for him. Jungkook crawls over, snuggling into Hoseok’s side. They watch the movie in silence, only speaking when it’s over.

“Seok, we should go to Japan sometime and visit the Studio Ghibli museum. Wouldn’t that be cute?” Jungkook says, nestling his face into Hoseok’s neck.

“Yeah, you’d look so cute. We could get you a Totoro stuffed animal,” Hoseok responds, wrapping his arm around Jungkook.

“Seok,” Jungkook wines, “I meant the museum being cute, not me.” Hoseok laughs.

“I know what you meant but I said what I said,” Hoseok responds.

“Ugh, shut up and go to sleep,” Jungkook whines. Hoseok smiles.

“Goodnight, baby,” Hoseok whispers.

“Night, Seokie.”

~

Hoseok wakes up to Jungkook on his arm, his beautiful skin shining from the sunlight coming in the window. It’s good to have him back, Hoseok thinks. It had been hard staying away from. He didn’t want to but it was so hard seeing his face, knowing he didn’t remember anything from the party. Hoseok didn’t know if he should tell him or not. If he would hate him.

He had asked his friends, Namjoon and Jin, what he should do. They had told him to confess to Jungkook, to let him know how he felt. They had seen them at the party, they had been out on the porch. Hoseok was embarrassed when he found out, but at the same time he was happy to know he hadn’t dreamt it.

“He obviously likes you, I mean he was kissing you,” Namjoon had said. Hoseok had shaken his head.

“He was making out with Hyunjin five minutes before then, he probably would’ve made out with you too,” Hoseok had said, looking to Jin.

“That doesn’t matter Hoseok. Anyone can make out with a random person when they’re at a party. But you two were alone, and he knows you. He knew what he was doing even if he doesn’t remember now. He likes you, just try,” Jin had said.

Hoseok didn’t believe them. If Jungkook had liked him, why hadn’t he told him? It’s not like Hoseok hadn’t hinted at the fact that he liked Jungkook. But if he couldn’t have him like that, it was enough to have him as a friend.

He tries to get up without waking Jungkook, but as soon as he moves the boy wakes up. “Seok, where are you going?” he mumbles out, eyes still closed. Hoseok smiles, looking at his eyes that are trying so hard to stay closed.

“I was gonna make breakfast, baby,” Hoseok says, holding his breath after. He knows that Jungkook asked him to call him that but it feels like he’s crossing a boundary he wasn’t made to cross.

“Hmm, I just wanna cuddle though,” Jungkook answers, holding Hoseok tighter.

“Baby, you gotta eat something, then we can cuddle and watch movies all day. Sound good?” Hoseok asks, running his hands through Jungkook’s hair.

“Fine, but I want smiley face pancakes,” Jungkook says petulantly. Hoseok smiles, sneaking out of Jungkook’s grip. He makes a sound of disapproval, begrudgingly getting out of bed to go to the kitchen with Hoseok. He sits down at the counter, watching Hoseok as he starts to get everything out.

He’s facing away from Jungkook but he can feel his gaze on his back.
“So, I don’t know if I told you, but I’m going away for winter break. My family is expecting me back in Gwangju. I’ll be gone for a couple weeks, and there isn’t great service there, especially when it storms,” Hoseok says, now turning on the stove.

“Oh,” Jungkook says quietly, trying not to show the disappointment in his voice. “Okay, I think I’m just gonna stay here. Yoongi’s probably busy and my family won’t want to see me anyway.” Hoseok stopped at that, turning to look at Jungkook.

“What do you mean they won’t want to see you?” Hoseok asks. Jungkook’s staring at the table, not looking at Hoseok.

“My stepfather told me not to come home this year, said he didn’t want to see me. I’m sure my mom would but I don’t wanna put stress on her,” Jungkook whispers.

“Oh,” Hoseok responds, not knowing how to help. “Why don’t you text Yoongi, see if he can. Even if it’s only for part of the break. I don’t want you to be alone.” Jungkook nods, not looking at Hoseok. Hoseok wants to help, he really does. Jungkook looks so sad, but he can’t think of anything to say. Instead, he turns back to the stove, making the pancakes in silence. He puts them on plates, moving them to the counter. He gets a banana milk out of the fridge, placing it in front of Jungkook. His face lightens up a bit at that, the boy hurriedly moving to grab it.

They eat in relative silence, the only conversation being Jungkook’s thanks. Hoseok cuts his pancakes into little pieces, not really paying attention to eating. I could invite him to Gwangju with me, he thinks. But Mei won’t have enough room and Jiwoo’s probably bringing her girlfriend. Hoseok looks up to the sound of metal clanking to see Jungkook washing his dishes. He looks at his half eaten plate, frowning, Why is everything so difficult.

“Seok, don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault,” Jungkook says, placing his hand on top of Hoseok’s. Hoseok looks at him, at his soft brown eyes. Looks at the way he’s raising his eyebrows, the tilt of his head. The sympathetic frown on his face.

“I don’t want you to be alone,” Hoseok repeats, intertwining their fingers. Jungkook smiles, squeezing his hand.

“You can call me, I’ll be fine. I should practice dancing anyway, it’ll be fine,” Jungkook says. Hoseok almost believes him, but there’s a sadness lacing his voice that he’s trying to hide. He ignores it, getting up to put his plate away. Jungkook watches him, standing behind him as he dumps the food and rinses his plate.

Hoseok zones out a bit while scrubbing his plate, thinking about Jungkook being alone in his room. Jungkook’s always so sad when he’s alone, he just stares at things, remaining unmoving for hours. It would be wrong to leave him, to put him in a position where he’d be upset. He gets pulled from his thoughts by a warm body wrapping around his. Arms winding around his waist, a head resting on his shoulder.

“Sing me a song, Seok,” Jungkook says, breath hitting his neck. Hoseok smiles, moving to wash his cup. He starts humming before he adds the words, a soft mellody hitting Jungkook’s ears. “Inside my blue dream, I want to contain you, even if you say no, inside my eyes, inside my blue dream, I want to hold you, even if you say we can't, inside my embrace,” Hoseok pauses to breathe, now laying his hands on Jungkook’s, “Blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side.” Jungkook’s eyes are closed, his body slowly swaying with Hoseok’s.

“What’s that from?” Jungkook whispers, still moving with Hoseok.

“It’s a little thing I wrote when I was a kid. I would have Jiwoo sing it to me, it always calmed me down,” he responds, turning around in Jungkook’s hold. Jungkook looks him in the eyes, smiling softly. They stop moving, just holding each other. Hoseok smiles, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to Jungkook’s forehead. “Let’s go watch movies,” Hoseok says, moving back from Jungkook’s face.

They move into their normal routine, Jungkook laying in bed while Hoseok puts on the movie. Hoseok moves to the bed, letting Jungkook snuggle into his side. They stay like that all day, going through a couple of movies and two bags of popcorn. Hoseok only half pays attention, trying to think of things Jungkook could do so he wouldn’t be alone.

That doesn’t help much though, he can’t come up with anything. It makes him feel worse, and then he starts thinking of Jungkook alone. How he doesn’t want him to be, how he might blame Hoseok for his sadness. How he might try to find comfort in another person, drunk in a club. That makes Hoseok’s chest burn, his vision go red. The idea of someone else touching his Jungkook.

But then again, Jungkook isn’t his. Never has been.

Maybe Jungkook did remember what happened at the party, but was instead mad that Hoseok had pulled him away from Hyunjin. Jungkook had never said he liked him. He might act shy and blush but he did that with almost everyone.

Maybe Jungkook didn’t even want him around for winter break, was happy he’d be gone. The day continued like this, the thoughts getting worse at night. Jungkook was unaware of the inner turmoil Hoseok was experiencing, just enjoying the movies.

Hoseok fell asleep that night with a heavy heart and an empty soul. Maybe it had all been for nothing after all.

~

At Seoul University, there are two winter breaks. One from the third week of November to the second week of December, and one from the start of January to the week before it ended. Hoseok would be gone all four weeks of the first one, leaving Jungkook alone. Jungkook kept telling himself it didn’t matter, that he had been alone before and being alone again would be fine.

Jungkook had been fine the week leading up to it, the days when he sat in Hoseok’s room and watched him pack. But now, standing with Hoseok in front of the train station, Jungkook was definitely not okay.

He had promised Hoseok that he would drive him, see him off. It was harder than he had thought it would be. His heart felt heavier than he thought it would be.

“The track is just over here,” Hoseok says, pulling Jungkook by his hand. The station is huge, people everywhere. It would be easy to get lost if you didn’t know where you were going. But Jungkook has Hoseok, so he isn’t lost. They stop at the post that read, “Track 9 – North and South Gwangju.” Hoseok puts down his duffle bag, sitting on the bench, pulling Jungkook on top of him. Jungkook blushes for a second before he realizes that he only did that because of the lack of space on the bench.

They don’t talk for a while, just enjoying being near each other. It would be too hard to speak anway. Jungkook didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. Didn’t even know what he was feeling or if Hoseok would feel the same. They had gotten there a half hour early, Hoseok insisting that the train would be early.

“Hoseok,” Jungkook says, not turning around, “I’m gonna miss you.” Jungkook feels Hoseok take a deep breath.

“I’ll miss you too, Kook,” Hoseok responds, resting his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. They remain like that until the train arrives. Any words they want to say would be too much. Jungkook’s feelings alone feel like they’re suffocating him in the large train station. They’re outside but he craved for fresh air. Soon enough, the train pulls up to the track, letting the previous people out.

Jungkook watches as one woman runs into another’s arms, tears running down her face. What it must feel like to be wanted, to be needed. Hoseok nudges at Jungkook’s side, making the boy stand up. Jungkook turns to him, looking at him one more time. He throws himself on to him, wrapping himself as tightly as he can to his chest. He feels lips touch his forehead, a whisper of goodbye in his ear.

Then the comforting warmth that has held him for months is gone, disappearing behind the crowd and behind closed doors. Jungkook stands, numb, as the train slowly leaves his line of sight. He doesn’t even notice as the tears start falling. Being alone was worse then he remembered. Without Hoseok, Jungkook is lost.

Spending his days alone is tiring. Jungkook doesn’t understand how any one can spend time with him, he’s so boring. For the past week and a half all he’s done is move from his bed to the shower to his bed. It’s not that Jimin hadn’t invited him somewhere, (once), it’s just that he doesn’t feel right doing things without Hoseok.

One day, he had remember how he’d recorded Hoseok signing. He hadn’t actually done it on purpose, had only found out about it the next day when he opened his phone. He listens to it again, Hoseok’s voice almost hurting him to listen to. It’s so smooth, the way his voice moves through the words.

And he knows it’s stupid but he suddenly feels the need to produce it. He goes to his desk, where he has his sound equipment setup, uploading the recording to his computer. It’s not his best work, only spending a couple days working on it. He layers the the words together so “blue side” is heard over the normal lyrics. When it’s done, he downloads it to his phone. It’s the only thing that can be heard in the small dorm for the next week. The only thing to comfort Jungkook.

They’ve been talking––not actually, but they text. It’s the most Hoseok says the internet supports at Mei’s, his grandma’s, house. Their conversation are usually short, Hoseok often busy. Their conversation yesterday consisted of:

Hoseok: goodnight baby, sorry I didn’t talk to you much today, I was so busy helping Mei with the house that i forgot to text :/ love you tho! sleep well
Jungkook: oh it’s okay! have fun with mei! love u too

Jungkook wants to be mad at him, tell him it’s his fault that he’s sad, but it’s not true. He’s mad at the distance between them, the train that took him away.

He’s unsurprisingly in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It’s weird. The feelings he has. He doesn’t want to text Hoseok, doesn’t want to bother him. But every second he spends not talking to the boy is one he hates.

He cares about Hoseok a lot, maybe too much, but he probably doesn’t feel the same way. His life was full when Jungkook entered it, a good job, good friends, a good routine. Adding him must’ve been annoying, Hoseok giving so much time to paying attention to him and caring about him. A burden, that’s what Jungkook is.

The next week isn’t any better. Their conversations go as follows:

Thursday
Hoseok: hey kook, how’s your day going?
Jungkook: fine, yours?
Hoseok: okay, just hanging out with Jiwoo. what did you do today?
Jungkook: nothing, you?
Hoseok: not much, made kimchi with Mei
Jungkook: cool

Saturday
Jungkook: hey
Hoseok: hey baby
Jungkook: whatcha doin?
Hoseok: about to go to dinner with Jiwoo and her girlfriend, you?
Jungkook: um i don’t know, i think im gonna sleep?
Hoseok: its 7? have you eaten?
Jungkook: yeah its early lol. yeah i had breakfast. i’m just bored
Hoseok: kook
Jungkook: what?
Hoseok: please eat something, maybe go to the place? i’m sure they’re wondering if we died anyway
Jungkook: i don’t really wanna
Hoseok: kook
Hoseok: Jungkook

Tuesday
Hoseok: i miss you :(
Hoseok: ugh my phone, i sent that on sunday and it didn’t go through
Jungkook: ah it’s okay
Jungkook: i miss you too

Saturday
Hoseok: it’s been three days
Hoseok: i don’t think i can live without you
Jungkook: oh
Hoseok: i wish i could be there with you :(
Jungkook: i wish you could be too
Hoseok: i wanna snuggle you
Jungkook: me too
Jungkook: two-ish more weeks, more specifically eight days
Hoseok: i know

Monday
Hoseok: koo
Hoseok: what’re you up to
Jungkook: im cocooned
Hoseok: cute
Hoseok: are you watching movies?
Jungkook: im watching anime on my phone
Hoseok: yuri on ice, isn’t it?
Jungkook: shh
Hoseok: send me a picture
Jungkook: of yuri?
Hoseok: nO, of you in your cocoon
Jungkook: oH okay
Jungkook: [Image Attached]
Hoseok: aw, look at my pretty baby
Jungkook: i-
Hoseok: you’re so cute, i wish i was there to hug you
Jungkook: im not cute
Hoseok: yes you are
Jungkook: no
Hoseok: don’t argue with me, i’m gay
Jungkook: so am i??
Hoseok: yes but i’m bisexual so i get two votes, you only have one
Jungkook: …
Hoseok: ugh, i gotta go, Jiwoo’s bringing me to some bar
Jungkook: oh, okay. have fun!
Hoseok: i’ll try. love u baby
Jungkook: love u too

After that, Hoseok doesn’t text him. He might in a day or two but Jungkook’s tired of waiting. Tired of being reliant on someone who doesn’t have the same feelings towards him. It’s a Tuesday but it’s winter break so the frat is throwing another party. Jungkook would never go, let alone by himself, but he feels like he has too. He has to be independent, have fun. Hoseok has no problem without him so why should he?

He gets dressed for the first time in three weeks, putting on dark skinny jeans, a black shirt, and his black leather jacket. He walks to his car, taking the stairs instead of the elevator. When he gets in his car, he doesn’t put music on. He drives in silence, finding the house on his own. Again, he parks a couple houses down. It’s not dark yet and the party just started, but there’s still people everywhere.

As he walks into the house, it’s just as loud as last time. There’s people dancing in the center of the house, and it looks more like real dancing than last time. Probably because most people are still sober. The living room is a cloud, smoke pouring out of the room. The kitchen is just as sticky. Jungkook wonders if they ever clean it. He chooses to go to the dining room, maybe he’ll watch a game or two, wait for people to get more drunk before he goes to dance. In the dining room, there’s a group maybe half way through a game of beer pong. Jungkook leans against the wall, watching.

They look familiar, the two boys and girls. Maybe they were here last time. From the corner of his eye he sees Jaehyun, Hoseok’s friend. He’s talking to someone that Jungkook feels like he knows but not really. He’s a bit taller than Jungkook, has fluffy black hair. He’s wearing all black, from his jacket to his shoes. His back is facing him so he stares openly, looking carefully at the way he gestures as he talks.

Jaehyun notices him, nodding in his direction. Jungkook looks away instantly, face burning a little. He looks just in time to see the boys win the beer pong game, the girls yelling in disappointment. He’s watching new people move to the table to set up a game as he feels a tap on his shoulder.

“Hey, didn’t think I’d see you again,” the boy with fluffy hair says. Jungkook smiles slightly, a little confused.

“Hi, um, you’ll have to remind me how I know you,” Jungkook says, looking at the boys beautiful green eyes. The boys laughs.

“I’m Hyunjin, I was your beer pong partner last time you came to a party. We made out for a bit too,” Hyunjin smirks at him, now leaning his arm next to Jungkook’s head. Jungkook stiffens, now confused and embarrassed. His cheeks are a little red and he’s starts biting his lip.

“W-we made out? Like kissing?” Jungkook asks, mentally slapping himself for sounding like a three year old. Hyunjin laughs, leaning a bit closer to Jungkook.

“Yeah, like kissing. Then that boy pulled you away and you left. But you’re back now,” Hyunjin says, face hovering near Jungkook’s.

Jungkook’s too busy thinking about what he said.

Did Hoseok pull him away? Why? Maybe that’s why he’d been weird.

Jungkook feels a hand gripping his waist, the other still next to his head. Hyunjin is so close to him, body almost touching his. No one seems to notice, or care, around them. He almost feels wrong, touching someone that isn’t Hoseok. But Hoseok isn’t his. Never has been. Hoseok’s 168 miles away, in another city, with other people. Jungkook can’t let himself be consumed by Hoseok, Hoseok, Hoseok. So he gives himself to Hyunjin.

“We should go somewhere else, there’s too many people here,” Jungkook whispers in Hyunjin’s ear, pulling on the boys shirt. Hyunjin smirks, leaning back so he can see Jungkook’s face.

“Whatever you want baby,” Hyunjin says, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb.

Jungkook takes a shallow breath, thrown off guard by the name. The name Hoseok calls him.

Hyunjin grabs Jungkook’s wrist, pulling him through the people to the stairs. They walk up the first flight, going to another set of stairs. At the top of those, there’s a door. Hyunjin opens it, pulling Jungkook with him. They step out onto the roof, a railing wrapping around the entirety of it. There’s two girls in the corner but Hyunjin tells them to leave. It’s completely dark now, just the stars giving them light. “Better?” Hyunjin asks, pulling Jungkook to the railing. Jungkook nods, looking out at the people on the lawn.

“It’s pretty up here,” Jungkook says, looking around at the moon and stars. Hyunjin looks over at him, staring at his lips.

“Yeah, it is,” Hyunjin says, still looking at Jungkook. Jungkook can feel his gaze on his skin.

He moves from where he’s leaning against the railing, making Hyunjin turn around. Jungkook presses his body against Hyunjin’s, hands grasping the front of his shirt. Hyunjin moves his hands to Jungkook’s waist again, one hand going up his shirt slightly. Hyunjin moves first, lips connecting with Jungkook’s. They’re sloppy and quick, but neither of them care. Hyunjin moves one hand to grip Jungkook’s face, kissing him harder. Jungkook hums into the kiss, letting Hyunjin take control. Hyunjin’s tongue moves into his mouth, accepting the control, as he flips them so Jungkook’s being pushed into the railing. He breaks away from Jungkook’s mouth, his lips attaching to his neck. Jungkook mewls as Hyunjin bites the skin, sucking a mark above his collar bone.

There’s a loud ping but they ignore it, Hyunjin making another mark on Jungkook’s neck. The ping happens again, Hyunjin groaning as he pulls away from Jungkook. “What’s that?” he asks, still gripping Jungkook’s waist. Jungkook rolls his eyes, moving to grab his phone from his back pocket.

“Uh, I should probably answer this. Do you wanna get drinks?” Jungkook asks. Hyunjin nods, walking back to the stairs. Jungkook quickly opens his phone, seeing a text from Hoseok.

Hoseok: Jaehyun tells me you’re at the frat party. Be safe okay?

It wasn’t that important, but Jungkook needed a second to breathe. He’s not sure if he’s okay with this. Touching Hyunjin, Hyunjin touching him. He definitely wouldn’t do it in front of Hoseok. Maybe I should, Jungkook thinks. He opens snapchat, waiting for Hyunjin to come back. When he does he holds up his phone, telling Hyunjin to smile. Jungkook puts the picture of Hyunjin, holding two drinks and smirking, on his snapchat story, hoping Hoseok will see it.

“What’s that for?” Hyunjin asks, moving to stand next to Jungkook. Jungkook smiles, looking at his phone.

“Trying to make someone jealous,” he responds, looking at Hyunjin. Hyunjin’s smirk grows, putting the drinks down on the table near them.

“That I can do,” Hyunjin says, moving to push against Jungkook again. “Take a picture of me biting your neck,” Hyunjin adds, winking. Jungkook smiles slightly, biting his lip. Hyunjin moves back to where he was before, making sure you can see the blossoming bites he already left. He quickly puts it on his story before putting his phone away. Hyunjin moves back to his lips at this point, the kisses softer than before. They slide together smoothly but they’re hungry, backed by want. Hyunjin grinds against him, making Jungkook whimper. “You like that?” Hyunjin whispers into his ear, nipping at it after. Jungkook pushes back in response, making Hyunjin groan.

Another ping to his phone. Hyunjin pulls back, glaring at Jungkook.

“Kook, turn it off,” he says. He watches as Jungkook pulls the phone out of his pocket.

Hoseok: Kook what’re you doing?
Hoseok: You’re with Hyunjin? I didn’t know you liked him.
Hoseok: Please be safe.
Hoseok: Don’t do anything you regret. I’m not there to stop him.

Jungkook turns off his ringer, putting the phone back in his pocket. Hyunjin gives him a weird look. Something like want and possession. It makes Jungkook uneasy. He isn’t Hyunjin’s. He doesn’t want to be. But Hyunjin moves back to Jungkook’s lips. Jungkook doesn’t kiss back like he did before. He’s trying to forget about Hoseok, but that line is stuck in his head. I’m not there to stop him. Jungkook pulls back, hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders.

“I-,” Jungkook starts, eyes wide, “I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t.” He pushes him away, running towards the stairs. He’s careful not to trip going down the two flights of steps.

When he gets to the main floor, he almost runs into Jaehyun but doges him, running out the front door. He doesn’t stop until he reaches his car, quickly unlocking it and hoping in. He takes a deep breath, going through his car checklist before he starts driving.

Physically, his drive home was calm and safe. Mentally, he was going through every interaction him and Hoseok had ever had.

Jungkook can’t figure out why Hoseok said that. What it means. If it matters. He rushes back to his room, not because he’s about to do something but because he can’t stand having Hyunjin’s smell on his skin. He rushes to the bathroom, turning on the shower. As he’s waiting for it to warm up, he looks up how to get rid of hickeys. Jimin isn’t home, unsurprisingly, so he throws off his clothes in their room. He puts them in the laundry pile excluding his jacket which he brings back to the bathroom with him. Checking the water, it’s still cold, he starts rinsing his jacket as much as he can.

He’s still thinking through it all, what it all means. He’s overwhelmed, throwing his jacket down in favor of standing in the cold shower. He knows he cares about Hoseok. A lot actually. But the idea of losing the only person he has, the only one who cares is too much. He doesn’t really notice when he starts crying, just lets it flow with the water hitting his face.

Jungkook wants to be with Hoseok. Wants to be important, be something more to him. He can’t even think about Hoseok with another person, boy or girl. He wants Hoseok to be his. Jungkook cries harder, head leaning against the shower wall. It’s all too much. All of this. Nothing was this hard when he was back in Busan, when he was alone.

Jungkook gets out of the shower, walking back into his room. He puts on the same sweatpants and sweatshirt he’s worn all vacation, slipping into his bed. He needs to not think, to push these thoughts away before they suffocate him. He thumbs through his music, none of it being what he needs. He remembers Blue Side, not wanting to think of Hoseok but it’s probably the only thing that’ll calm him down right now.

He goes into his personal account, finding it and pressing play. The smooth melody washes over him, making his eyes ease shut. Tears are still falling but they’re no longer out of anger. A calm resolve moves through his body. An odd sense of certainty hitting him. He knows that he needs to tell Hoseok. He can’t keep it from him. If it goes wrong, it wasn’t meant to be anyway. He picks his phone back up, leaving the song on repeat but opening his text messages.

Jungkook: you know your song, blue side
Jungkook: you can hold me, you can contain me
Jungkook: i want
Jungkook: i wish i could be in your blue dream
Jungkook: i can’t keep pretending that i don’t feel this way
Jungkook: i like you
Jungkook: more than a friend
Jungkook: you’re my best friend really, but you’re also so much more
Jungkook: i’m sorry
Jungkook: i know i shouldn’t be saying this, you probably don’t like me. why would you?
Jungkook: i like you so much, you’re so important to me and i hate being without you. i know you probably don’t care but i went to another frat party, i know i’m stupid. i was with hyunjin and shit was happening but all i could think about was you. i want to be yours. i want you to want me to be yours. i want you to be mine.
Jungkook: i’m sorry. i’ll just go
Hoseok: oh

~

“Fuck, shit no, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Hoseok yells, frantically pressing the power button on the side of his phone. “This really can’t be happening right now,” Hoseok, screams, throwing his phone in frustration. They had lost power earlier this morning, he’d been trying to save his battery for emergencies. On top of that, they’re snowed in so he can’t go anywhere.

“What are you yelling about?” Jiwoo yells from the other room. Hoseok makes a sound of annoyance, throwing himself back on the bed.

“Nothing,” Hoseok responds. He’s fucked, he really is. Jungkook confessed to him. He likes him. He has liked him. All he wants to do is respond, or to take a train back. He needs Jungkook to know how much he cares about him, how much he needs him.

He gets up, walking to the living room. Mei sits in her rocking chair, knitting like she always does. It makes him nostalgic, being back home. He sits in his spot on the couch. It’s worn down, marks on the side from where he’d absentmindedly scrapped at it as Mei told him stories. Mei looks up at him, smiling.

“Hey Hobi, how are you sweetheart?” she knits as she speaks, giving all her attention to Hoseok. Hoseok sighs, rubbing his legs.

“I don’t know, Halmonee,” Hoseok responds, leaning back on the couch. The clicking of the needles stops. Hoseok looks over, to see the corners of her lips turned down.

“Is it that boy?” she asks, giving Hoseok a knowing look. Hoseok rolls his eyes, covering his face with his hands. “I know you like him, you’ve been talking about him the whole time you’ve been here.” Hoseok blushes, ears burning.

“Halmonee, hajima,” Hoseok says, voice a bit strained. She laughs, starting to knit again.

“Tell me what happened,” she says. Hoseok stays curled into himself but moves his arms to look at the fire. It flickers, embers flying up as a log breaks in half.

“He told me he liked me,” Hoseok responds, Mei gasping, “and then my phone died.” Mei scoffed.

“So you didn’t respond!?” Mei criticized, raising her eyebrows. Hoseok shook his head regretfully.

“I know,” Hoseok groans, “I wish we weren’t snowed in. It hurts me to know he’s sitting alone somewhere, thinking I don’t like him. To know he’s hurting.” Hoseok bites at the inside of his cheek, willing the tears not to fall from his eyes.

“Ah, Hobi, it’ll be okay. If the boy is like how you’ve said he is, I’m sure you two will get through it,” his grandmother says, covering Hoseok’s hand with hers. He knows it’s supposed to be comforting but his chest still aches. Jungkook might be able to forgive him but he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for making the boy sad.

“You should get some sleep anyway, you told Jiwoo you’d help her with the attic tomorrow.”

Hoseok nods, begrudgingly getting up off the couch. He walks to his room, softly closing the door behind him as to not wake Jiwoo and her girlfriend. His room is exactly the way it was growing up, his bed tucked into the corner (he was scared of monsters coming out of his closet). A big sun painted on the wall adjacent to his wall of posters. His favorite was the Ponyo one.

He lays down, pushing himself to the corner. It had become instinct since they met to leave enough room for someone to curl into his side. But he’s alone, and so is Jungkook.

~

It’s been three hours. Hoseok hasn’t answered him in three hours. Jungkook hasn’t moved from his bed, having made himself into a ball. He knew he shouldn’t have texted Hoseok. Shouldn’t have assumed he wanted to be with him. That he liked him. Honestly, he felt bad for Hoseok. He spent so much time with him just to ruin it by saying he liked him. Now it’ll be awkward.

He hasn’t stopped crying. He can’t. He should’ve listened to his stepfather when he told him he wasn’t good enough. He should’ve known that someone as bright as Hoseok would be dulled by him. He wasn’t worth anyone’s time anyway. Not even his brother, who hasn’t talked to him since he got to school.

He sits up, viciously rubbing his face to get rid of the tears. He has to go. He needs to leave the room. He grabs his phone and wallet, walking out the door without even changing. He doesn’t know where he’s going. He just- is.

The campus is surprisingly quiet at night. He walks a building or two forward before taking a turn. He does that again. And again, ending up where he started.

It’s suffocating. Knowing that no one cares about you. Knowing that the person you thought cared about you doesn’t. It’s almost funny. Jungkook was always alone, and being around someone is what threw his balance off. It was his fault anyway. For thinking he mattered. He was wrong.

He starts to walk back to his dorm. After checking his phone he realized he had been gone for almost an hour anyway. Maybe Jimin would be there, he could snuggle with him. If he let him. He probably wouldn’t want to. Jungkook shook his head, biting at his lip absentmindedly. He’s almost to his room, it’s taking a little longer because he’s using the stairs.

At his door, he realizes that he didn’t bring his keys. Fortunately, because he’s an idiot, he left the door unlocked. He opens it, expecting to see Jimin sitting on his bed.

Instead, he sees Jimin being pushed on to his bed, a man on top of him. He stands there, not knowing whether he should say something or leave. However, Jungkook slowly begins to feel like he knows this man.

He soon notices that they’re kissing, if you can call it that. The man is smaller than Jungkook, slightly bigger than Jimin. He has dark black hair, pale skin that looks lighter from the black clothes he’s wearing. Jungkook never would’ve connected the dots if it wasn’t for Jimin whimpering, “Yoongi,” in the man’s ear.

“Um,” Jungkook finally interjects, “what the fuck?”

The two stop, slowly turning around to see Jungkook gripping the door knob. A flash of recognition crosses Yoongi’s eyes as he sees him, a smile forming on his face. On the other hand, Jimin’s eyes are frozen in fear.

“Jungkook?” Yoongi marvels, a little unbelieving. He moves over to him, wrapping Jungkook in a tight hug. He lets it happen, only hugging back slightly. He doesn’t remove his eyes from Jimin’s, however.

“Jimin, do you care to fucking tell me what’s going on here?” Jungkook curses. Jimin’s eyes are blown wide, his hands gripping his legs. Yoongi moves back, standing at Jungkook’s side, a look of confusion covering his face.

“Jungkook, I swear I can explain–”

“Please do,” Jungkook seethes, anger building up slowly. Jimin looks confused for a second, like Jungkook wouldn’t have wanted an explanation. He stumbles, taking a deep breath before talking again.

“I know it looks bad, okay? I met him a while ago and I didn’t actually know who he was for a week or two. By then, you were already so busy with Hoseok all the time that I didn’t think you’d want me to bother you. I didn’t think you’d care that much,” Jimin sighed. Jungkook’s hand twitches slightly.

“You didn’t think I would care that my best friend was dating my brother without telling me? Oh no, of course not, why would I be mad at all? It’s not as if you lied to me every time you left the dorm. Or that you told me you were dating a boy from your music class. Why would I be mad about you breaking my trust?” Jungkook is panting slightly, anger pulsing through him.

“They weren’t technically lies! Yoongi makes music, and when I left the dorms I did tell you that I was meeting my boyfriend,” Jimin argues.

“Anytime you have to say that something isn’t ‘technically a lie’ isn’t good Jimin! Do I not deserve to be told the truth?” Jungkook yells back, chest rising and falling at a quicker pace.

“Not if you act like this!” Jimin shoots back, now standing from his bed. Jungkook’s face falls, hurt showing in his eyes.

“I thought you cared about me,” Jungkook whispers, barely loud enough for Jimin to hear.

“You’re being ridiculous, Jungkook, it’s not that big of a deal,” Jimin says back, voice still harsh. Jungkook feels a tear fall down his face, maybe from anger, maybe not. Yoongi grabs his arm, other hand moving to wipe the tear away.

“Hey, Jungoo, don’t cry,” Yoongi comforts. Jungkook thrashes, moving towards his bed.

“Don’t touch me,” he yells, eyes full of betrayal. Yoongi flinches, eyebrows furrowing. “It had been months since you’ve talked to me. This whole time I thought it was because you were too busy with work. But no, you’ve just been busy with him,” Jungkook gestures in Jimin’s direction, now screaming, “I texted you almost everyday, I called your phone, I called you at work. Not once did you ask me how I was or if I was okay. The best you could say was, ‘Sorry, I’m busy.’ So don’t touch me and pretend like you give a shit Yoongi!” Jungkook is crying harder now, but he doesn’t care. They’re useless anyway.

“Kook, I–” Yoongi begins, but Jungkook interrupts.

“No, you don’t get to lie to me too,” he sniffles, quickly grabbing his keychain. He shoves past them, slamming the door behind him. He doesn’t have anywhere to go. He doesn’t have anyone. He eyes Hoseok’s room, and he knows it’s a bad idea but it’s all he’s got. He hastily finds the spare key Hoseok gave him, sliding inside the dark dorm and locking it behind him.

He can hear Yoongi and Jimin arguing in the other room. He doesn’t care. He slides down the door, forcing his eyes to stay shut. They have to stay shut. If he opens them, he’ll see the bed he and Hoseok slept on. The kitchen that they had countless meals in. The room that he fell in love in with him in.

At some point, the arguing in the other room stops. Jungkook knows he can’t sit here all night. He slowly opens his eyes, taking in the dark room. There’s moonlight coming in from one window, of course Hoseok left the blinds open. He would always say how the light made his skin glow. The bed is made, the corners skillfully tucked into the corners. There’s the usual stack of movies in the corner near the tv. Jungkook sighs.

Getting up, he moves over to the bed, not caring to eat. This isn’t good, Jungkook thinks, this is not okay. Tears start falling again, harder than before but he’s silent.

He lost his best friend, his roommate, and his brother all in one vacation. Jungkook decides he hates winter. He eventually falls asleep, the pillow the only thing comforting him. Being alone is what Jungkook deserves.

~

Hoseok spends three days without power, without his phone, and without Jungkook. He had helped his sister with the attic, helped his grandmother make dinner, and helped the towns people try to clear the road. Every second of it was spent thinking of Jungkook, where he is and how he’s doing. Every day he feels worse. His grandmother tries to tell him it’ll be okay over and over but Hoseok can never bring himself to believe her.

On the fourth day, Hoseok leaves. He gives his grandmother a hug, promising to bring Jungkook back for their next break. Jiwoo and her girlfriend give Hoseok hugs too, wishing him luck. The lines in Gwangju are still down but the trains are running again. Hoseok has never moved so fast, getting on the first train he can.

The train is nice. It’s one of the newer ones, it’s faster too. Hoseok needs it to be fast. He tries to relax as much as possible, knowing he can’t do anything to make them get to Seoul faster. He occupies himself with planning on what he’ll say. He can’t decide if he should apologize first or tell him how he feels first. If he apologizes first it’ll seem like he’s sorry for not liking him. But he needs to say sorry.

He looks around the train car, seeing families with small children and couples holding on to each other. There’s one a row down from him, two boys. The one boy has bright blonde hair, the other with a dyed purple. The blonde is asleep on the purple boy’s shoulder. The purple haired boy stares at him, something like love in his eyes. He strokes the blonde boy’s hand in his lap. It makes Hoseok think of Jungkook.

“Seok, do you think the stars talk to each other?” Jungkook asked, eyelashes brushing his face as he looked up at him.

“Maybe,” Hoseok had said, petting Jungkook’s hair. Jungkook was tucked into Hoseok’s side, laying on his stomach. His arm wrapped around Hoseok’s stomach, head on his shoulder.

“I think they do, or else they’d get lonely up there,” Jungkook insisted, nuzzling his head back down and closing his eyes. Hoseok just looks at him, one arm in his hair, the other holding the boy close. His breathing starts to even out, lips parted slightly. The moonlight from the window makes his face glow, highlighting his cheekbones. Hoseok studies the curve of his lips, the dip of his nose. The arch of his eyebrows. His long eyelashes. Hoseok couldn’t ask for more. Doesn’t know what more would be.

Hoseok shakes his head, taking a deep breath as he brings himself back to reality. He checks his phone. It’s only been twenty minutes. The train should take an hour longer. If he’s lucky.

An hour and three minutes later, Hoseok arrives in Seoul. Twenty five minutes after that, Hoseok is back at his dorm. He rushes to his room, barely being able to open the door from nerves. He unlocks it, throwing in his suitcase before closing it again. He takes a deep breath. Looking at Jungkook’s door, he painics. Every plan of what he would say is gone, but he can’t wait any longer to see him. He knocks, hearing shuffling behind the door. It opens, revealing Jimin.

“Hi Jimin, is Jungkook there? I know he’s probably mad at me but I can explain. I really need to see him,” Hoseok urges, trying to look around Jimin. Jimin’s face falls, not that he had looked happy in the first place.

“I don’t know where he is actually, he’s been gone for the past four days. You might wanna come in,” Jimin says, moving out of the way so Hoseok can answer. His heart stops.

“W-what do you mean gone? Like missing?” his voice breaks slightly, his body walking forward in a trance. Jimin lets out a loud breath, closing the door behind him.

“He came back to the dorm a couple days ago, I didn’t know he’d be home. I just assumed he’d be with you. I didn’t know you were in Gwangju. He found me and Yoongi,” Jimin swallows, making a look of regret, “he found Yoongi and I making out in my bed. After that, we fought and he left and now we don’t know where he is. We looked everywhere we thought he would go, but he wasn’t anywhere. We tried telling the campus police but they said since he’s an adult they can’t do anything about it,” Jimin sits on his bed. Hoseok can see the exhaustion in Jimin’s movements, the regret that seeps from his words.

“Wait you mean Yoongi, Yoongi? Min Yoongi? Like his brother?” Hoseok questions. Jimin nods, rubbing at his face. “You’re sleeping with his brother?” Hoseok asked, voice accusing. Jimin nods again, looking up at Hoseok. His eyes look empty, like he has nothing left to say. “So he’s just––gone?” Hoseok mumbled.

Jimin’s eyes turn into something like pity, “Yeah, he’s gone. I’m sorry Hoseok.”

Hoseok can’t move. Can’t breathe really. Not only was he alone but he lost everyone. He must feel so alone. He stumbles back a little, moving to the door. “Where are you going?” Jimin questions, watching Hoseok trying to open the door.

“I need to find him,” Hoseok yells, quickly moving out of the room. He goes back to his dorm, going into his bag to get his phone. He plugs it into the wall next to him, standing up to close the door.

When he turns around again, he notices a lump in the bed.

Fear creeps up his skin, Hoseok once again frozen in place. He slowly moves toward it, now seeing hair poking out from under a pillow. He pulls the blanket back, showing a boy in his bed.

Jungkook.

Hoseok moves hurriedly, sitting on the bed next to the him. Moving the pillow, he sees Jungkook’s face, eyes closed but face tear-streaked.

Hoseok shakes his shoulder, willing the boy to wake up. “Jungkook. Kook, please wake up,” he insists, shaking the boy harder.

Slowly his eyes open, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. Hoseok’s heart is beating so fast, he can’t think. Jungkook’s eyes open completely, recognition flashing in them as he sits up.

“Oh, I, I’m sorry. I can leave, I shouldn’t have come here. I’m sorry,” Jungkook tries to get out of the bed but Hoseok holds him still.

“No, no shh. Jungkook please,” Hoseok pleads, still shaking him lightly. Jungkook looks like he’s about to break, tears welling in his eyes. He bites his lip, arms moving to hold himself.

“I know you don’t want me here, it’s okay, Hoseok,” Jungkook whispers. Hoseok’s heart breaks at that. He never calls him Hoseok.

“No, Kook, stay please. I want to talk to you, I need to talk to you,” Hoseok’s hands slide down to Jungkook’s hands, grasping them tightly. Jungkook nods, lip turning red where he’s bitting it. “I want to start by saying I’m sorry. I really can’t show that enough, but I never meant to make you think I hated you. Or whatever it is you’re thinking right now. Gwangju had a huge storm, all the power went out and we were snowed in until today. When you texted me, I wanted to answer. I wanted to tell you how much I like you too, but my phone died. I feel so, so bad that you went without knowing that,” Hoseok blurts out, panting slightly. Jungkook’s eyes widen, as if trying to take all of that in.

“You––you like me too?” Jungkook whispers, eyebrows raising. Hoseok nods fervently, smiling at the boy.

“Yes, oh my god, Jungkook I like you so much it hurts me. I can barely breathe around you. I’ve liked you since the second I saw you. I literally call you baby, did you seriously think I hated you?” Hoseok asks, tilting his head.

Jungkook nods shallowly, biting his lip again.

“Oh, baby, no, I could never hate you,” Hoseok affirms, pulling Jungkook into a hug. Jungkook rests his head on Hoseok’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

“Please never leave again,” Jungkook pleads, voice breaking. Hoseok pulls back, holding the boys face in his hands.

“Never,” he responds, smiling at the boy. Hoseok remembers Jimin, moving to go tell him Jungkook’s okay. Jungkook grabs his wrist, pulling him back. Hoseok looks to see a frown on the boys face, eyebrows scrunched together.

“Where are you going?” Jungkook whimpers. Hoseok smiles, squeezing the boy’s hand.

“I have to tell Jimin and your brother that you’re okay. They’ve been looking for you for days. They’re very worried,” Hoseok responds, going over to his phone.

“I don’t want to see them,” Jungkook argued, pulling the sheets up to his face.

“You don’t have to, I just want them to know you’re okay,” Hoseok says, sending Jimin a text.

Hoseok: found him, he’s okay, doesn’t want to talk right now though
Jimin: thank god. i’ll talk to him whenever he’s ready, i can wait. tell him i love him though. i’ll text yoongi too

Hoseok smiles, going back to sit with Jungkook.

“Jimin says he’ll wait until you’re ready to talk. He also says he loves you,” Hoseok says, holding Jungkook’s hands again. Jungkook rolls his eyes, huffing at him.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says, changing the subject. Hoseok’s eyebrows furrow, his head tilting.

“For what?” he asks. Jungkook hadn’t done anything wrong, he’d been honest about his feelings and was ignored, who was he to apologize?

“Hyunjin,” Jungkook whispers, looking down at his lap. Anger rises up in Hoseok. Oh.

“You don’t have to tell me, it’s okay,” Hoseok lies, trying to hide his anger. Jungkook shakes his head.

“No, you deserve to know,” Jungkook takes a deep breath, still refusing to meet Hoseok’s eyes, “I went to the party five days go, I just wanted to forget about you.” Hoseok’s face goes blank in attempt to conceal his anger. “I couldn’t,” Jungkook stops, biting his lip, “it was so hard being away from you. Not being able to see you, hold you. I tried to ignore it but I couldn’t. So I went to the party. I was just gonna hang around, maybe dance, but Hyunjin came up to me. I didn’t know who he was at first but he told me that,” Jungkook stops again, fidgeting with his fingers, “he told me that we had made out at the last party. I’m sorry if that’s why you were uncomfortable after the party. Anyway, he took me to the roof and I–I don’t know. I just wanted to not need you and he-” Jungkook sniffles, “we kissed and he wanted to do more but I couldn’t. I’m yours, or at least I want to be. I’m sorry I ever kissed anyone else. I’ve always wanted you.”

Hoseok’s breathing is slightly irregular, from anger or Jungkook saying he wants him, he doesn’t know. He holds Jungkook’s hands tighter. Jungkook starts crying, small whimpers hitting Hoseok’s ears. “I–I need you Hoseok. Please, never leave me again. I need you, please,” Jungkook cries, throwing himself on to Hoseok. A mantra of “I need you” is repeated into Hoseok’s shoulder, tears soaking the collar of his shirt. He rubs his hands up and down the boy’s back, eyes staring straight ahead.

He doesn’t care that Jungkook made out with Hyunjin. Doesn’t care that he was at a party. He does care that he was trying to forget him. Cares that he ever felt like Hoseok didn’t care about him. “Kook, baby, it’s okay,” Hoseok soothes, eyes now looking down at the boy in front of him. “I didn’t feel uncomfortable that you were kissing Hyunjin. I mean––I am uncomfortable, but that’s not why I was weird.” Jungkook’s crying lightens to sniffles, the boy sitting up again.

“You’re not mad at me?” Jungkook whispers. Hoseok’s heart breaks further seeing the tears streaming down his face, his red eyes.

“I’m not mad at you,” Hoseok answers, moving to wipe a tear from Jungkook’s face. Jungkook leans on his hand, eyes closing. “I was weird after the party because we kissed and you didn’t remember.” Jungkook’s eyes fly open, pupils widening in shock, his mouth opening slightly.

“We what?” Jungkook asks. Hoseok laughs to himself, rolling out his neck before speaking.

“After I pulled you away from Hyunjin we went out to the backyard. We laid down in the grass so you could take a break, since you were so drunk. We were talking and I don’t know, we just kissed and I–” Hoseok stops, looking down at his lap, “I brought you back here because I didn’t want to do anything while you were drunk. Right before you fell asleep, you kissed me goodnight. I was just upset that you didn’t remember because I had finally thought that you liked me back.” Jungkook’s face falls, his hands quickly moving to grab Hoseok’s.

“I’m so sorry, Seok, I do like you. I like you so much. You’re so important to me, I can’t imagine not having you,” Jungkook stressed, eyes wide while looking at Hoseok. He pulls his hands back, placing them on his lap.

He’s stopped crying. They’re sitting in the odd silence of the dorm, sunlight hitting them, warming their skin. Jungkook looks at Hoseok. Hoseok looks at Jungkook. He smiles, laughing at their situation. Jungkook laughs too.

“Are we good?” Jungkook asks, eyes warm again.

“We’re good,” Hoseok answers. His eyes move to Jungkook’s lips, seeing the bite marks left there. Jungkook shifts, Hoseok feeling a hand on the back of his neck. He looks up. Jungkook smiles. He smiles. Hoseok moves a hand to Jungkook’s face, pulling him close. Their lips brush, breath mingling. He closes the gap, allowing for their lips to touch. It’s soft, slow. Like they have all the time in the world to get lost in each other.

Hoseok leans forward more, Jungkook leaning back on the bed. Hoseok moves from his lips, leaving quick little kisses all over his face, making Jungkook laugh. “Seok,” Jungkook whines, pushing on Hoseok’s shoulders. Hoseok laughs, laying down next to Jungkook.

“You’re cute,” Hoseok expresses, smiling over at Jungkook. The boy blushes, rolling over so Hoseok can’t see him. “Ah- no get back here,” Hoseok demands, trying to pull Jungkook back towards him. Jungkook holds strong, laughing quietly to himself as Hoseok pulls on him.

“Fine,” Hoseok states, giving up on pulling him. He simply scotches closer to Jungkook, wrapping himself around his back. Jungkook gasps as Hoseok places a kiss behind his ear, arms holding him against his body. “There’s my cute baby,” Hoseok breathes, making Jungkook shiver. It’s the best feeling, Hoseok could never begin to explain it.

He carefully pulls the blanket over them, tucking it into Jungkook’s neck to make him laugh. Jungkook asks about Hoseok’s trip. He tells him about Jiwoo and her girlfriend, how they were grossly cute, always snuggling on the couch. He tells him about the snow, about the karaoke, Mei’s knitting. He listens to it all, interjecting in some points to make comments. Jungkook tells him how he stayed in bed the whole time, Hoseok scolding him for not taking care of himself.

After a while, they decide to take a nap, both of them emotionally tired. Hoseok is greatful. That he has Jungkook. That Jungkook likes him back. He realizes like might not be strong enough. But then again, love isn’t either. He falls asleep with Jungkook on his lips. Maybe it was all worth it after all.

~

They wake up hours later, around six. Jungkook still can’t believe what happened.

He’s happy. Couldn’t ask for anything else really. Hoseok actually likes him. Him.

He tries not to move much, doesn’t want to wake Hoseok. From what he can see, the sun is setting, causing yellow to blanket them. It’s still quiet, a couple days left until break is over and everyone comes back.

Jungkook’s not sure what to think about Jimin, however. He loves Jimin, of course he does. He loves Yoongi too. It was just mean. What they did. On Jimin’s part, he lied. On Yoongi’s, it wasn’t the relationship he cared about. It was that he hadn’t spoken to him in months, but had time for Jimin. He shakes his head, trying to forget about it. He was tired of being sad.

Hearing a yawn behind him, he turns in Hoseok’s grip. Hoseok’s blinking tiredly, one hand moving to rub his eyes. When he sees Jungkook, he smiles, squeezing the boy to his chest. “Thank god, I thought I dreamt that,” Hoseok murmurs, placing a kiss on Jungkook’s forehead. Jungkook laughs, smiling back at Hoseok.

“Dreamt what,” Jungkook questions, pearing up at Hoseok lovingly.

“That I finally had you as mine,” Hoseok whispers, kissing Jungkook’s nose. He makes a soft noise, tucking his head into Hoseok’s shoulder to avoid his glare.

“Oh ,I forgot to ask you,” Hoseok continues, now playing with Jungkook’s hair, “will you go out with me? You know, be my boyfriend?” Jungkook moves his head back, looking at Hoseok with wide eyes.

“Yes, yes please,” Jungkook answers, smiling uncontrollably, “you’re serious right?” Jungkook raises his eyebrows, pouting at Hoseok.

“Yes I’m serious, cutie,” Hoseok answers, kissing Jungkook’s cheek. Jungkook blushes, looking away from Hoseok’s eyes. “Come on, let’s get up. I want to take my boyfriend on a date.” Hoseok continues, removing himself from Jungkook’s hold. Jungkook whines, slowly getting up after him.

“Seok, I don’t have any clothes here,” Jungkook whispers, slight fear in his voice. Hoseok puts his hand on the boys cheek, smiling.

“We can go to your dorm together okay? I’ll kick Jimin out,” he responds. Jungkook nods, sitting back on the bed. Hoseok throws on a black sweater with black jeans and a black face mask, smiling at his dark attire.

“Come on, we’re goin,” Hoseok pulls on Jungkook’s hand, dragging the boy to the door. They stand in front of Jungkook’s door, nerves taking over.

“Um, you know, I can just go like this,” Jungkook whines, trying to back away from the door.

“Ah, no, we’re going in whether you like it or not,” Hoseok argues, leaning past Jungkook to open the door. The dorm is empty, thankfully. Jungkook walks over to his dresser, Hoseok following closely behind.

“Turn around Seok,” Jungkook pouts. Hoseok furrows his eyebrows, tilting his head at the boy.

“Jungkook I’ve seen you get dressed a thousand times,” he responds. Jungkook’s pout deepens, puppy dog eyes widening.

“Seokie, turn around,” Jungkook whines, “please?” Hoseok rolls his eyes, turning his back to the boy. Jungkook smiles, grabbing his yellow and white long sleeved shirt and light jeans. He stands facing Hoseok to makes sure he doesn’t turn around, catching a glimpse of Hoseok texting someone. He can’t read it from this angle, but he sees the contact name as “Namjoonie.” He pouts, tucking his shirt into his pants.

“Who’s Namjoonie?” Jungkook questioned, pulling on his belt. Hoseok moves his phone immediately so it’s out of Jungkook’s line of sight.

“My friend, stop looking at my phone you little spy,” Hoseok says, turning around. Hoseok’s eyes light up looking at Jungkook. “Aw look at the cute baby,” he coos, making Jungkook blush. Hoseok smiles wider, reaching his hand out for Jungkook’s. He quickly intertwines their fingers, letting Hoseok lead them out of the room. They walk out to the garage to Jungkook’s car.

“Keys, baby,” Hoseok says, putting his hand out. Jungkook tilts his head in confusion.

“Why are you driving?” Jungkook asks, pulling the keys out of his pocket.

“Because,” Hoseok answers, moving to grab the keys from Jungkook. He lets him take them, moving to the passenger’s seat. He sits down, watching Hoseok plug his phone into the aux. He remembers blue side, wonders if he should play it for him. Maybe later.

They start driving, listening to some Lost Kings song. Jungkook falls into his same routine of watching Hoseok, tracing the lines of his face, committing them all to memory. The sun is almost all the way down, casting the sky into beautiful purples and pinks. Jungkook begins to realize that he doesn’t know where they are, looking around at the cities surroundings.

“Seok, where are you bringing me?” Jungkook questions, not really that concerned. Hoseok smiles at him, not taking his eyes off the road when he answers.

“On a date,” Hoseok says, voice smooth. It makes a shiver go down Jungkook’s spine.

“Hmm yes, does this date happen to be somewhere new?”

“Yes it does,” Hoseok smiles wider and Jungkook couldn’t be happier. For one, that he’s going on a date with Hoseok, and two that Hoseok is actually smiling. Jungkook hums happily along to the song. They eventually arrive at some park, Hoseok pulling into the parking lot next to it. Hoseok shoots Jungkook a grin before racing over to his side of the car to open his door. He puts out his hand, helping Jungkook out. Jungkook blushes, looking down at the ground.

“Follow me,” Hoseok says, intertwining their fingers and leading Jungkook into the park. It’s mostly empty save for the occasional person walking their dog. Jungkook sees a man in the middle of the park and realizes that Hoseok is walking towards him. He decides not to question it, letting Hoseok pull him along. When they get closer, the man looks at them, smiling.

“Hey, Namjoon,” Hoseok says, smiling back at the man.

“Hey, Hobi,” Namjoon responds, turning to Jungkook, “hello to you too, Jungkook.” Jungkook fidgets slightly, hiding behind Hoseok’s shoulder. Namjoon laughs at that, holding out a basket for Hoseok. Hoseok takes it, thanking the man. He smiles at the two again, bowing his head before he starts walking away.

“Was that the Namjoonie person on your phone?” Jungkook asks, peering up at Hoseok. Hoseok laughs, letting go of Jungkook.

“Yes, he made this little basket for me,” Hoseok responds, opening it. He takes out a blanket, setting the basket down in order to lay out the blanket. He sits down, putting the basket in the middle. Jungkook stands, looking at him.

“Aren’t you gonna sit?” Hoseok asks, gesturing to the other side of the blanket. Jungkook fiddles with the bottom of his shirt, biting his lip.

“Um, can I,” Jungkook starts but stops. He looks down at the ground, eyes avoiding Hoseok’s.

“What do you want baby? Hmm?” Hoseok asks, leaning back on his hands. Jungkook hums quietly, still avoiding Hoseok. “Anything you want, Kook,” he adds, voice soft.

“Can I sit in your lap?” Jungkook whispers, but Hoseok catches it.

“Of course you can,” Hoseok says, opening his legs to make room for Jungkook. Jungkook smiles, moving to sit in between his legs. He sits with his legs crossed so Hoseok can still lean forward. Jungkook pulls the basket towards them, looking through its contents. There’s two boxes of ramen, bottles of water, and banana milk. Jungkook ‘oohs’ at the banana milk. He takes out the ramen, handing one back to Hoseok and placing the other in front of himself.

They open them, Hoseok soon realizing it’s too difficult to eat like this. Instead, he wraps himself around Jungkook, combining their dishes so he can feed them both. Jungkook smiles at this, happy to let Hoseok feed him. They eat in silence, just enjoying being in each other’s presence. When the last noodle is gone, Hoseok leans back on his hands so Jungkook can lean on him. The boy instead leans forward, remembering the speaker he saw in the basket. He turns it on, pairing his phone.

“Seok,” Jungkook whispers, a bit shy, “I have a surprise for you.” Hoseok moves forward at that, wrapping his arms around Jungkook.

“Hmm, what kind of surprise?” he asks, resting his head on Jungkook’s shoulder.

“You’ll see,” he answers, pressing play on the song. A soft melody fills the air around them, Hoseok’s voice soon following. Hoseok gasps quietly, a hand moving to his mouth. The words start to come on, “Inside my blue dream, I want to contain you, even if you say no, inside my eyes, inside my blue dream, I want to hold you, even if you say we can't, inside my embrace,” with the soft,“blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side, blue side, back to blue side,” in the back. Jungkook holds his breath, nervous about Hoseok’s reaction. What if he doesn’t like it?

The song ends, another beginning, No One Told Me Why surrounding them. Hoseok doesn’t say anything, simply turns Jungkook’s head to face his. It’s a weird angle but he holds his chin between is fingers, pressing his lips to Jungkook’s. It’s bruisingly hard and Jungkook can’t breathe but he wouldn’t have it any other way. Hoseok pulls back, looking at Jungkook with shining eyes.

“That was so beautiful, Kook, thank you, thank you so much,” Hoseok breathes, kissing Jungkook to emphasize his point.

“I know it’s a little hard to hear but I was kind of secretly recording you so the sound isn’t great,” Jungkook adds. Hoseok shakes his head, hand holding the side of Jungkook’s face.

“It’s perfect, I love it,” Hoseok assures, thumb rubbing at his skin, “I love you.” Jungkook freezes, breath caught in his throat. His eyes widen, searching Hoseok’s face for any evidence of a lie. He finds none.

“I–I love you too,” Jungkook responds, leaving a quick kiss to Hoseok’s lips.

They stay together all night, listening to music and talking. They talk about their hopes and fears, everything they believe in, if they would make a difference in the world. Jungkook lets his guard down, further than it’s ever been, for Hoseok. He’s never been so lost in some else.

He silently wishes that time will never catch up.

After a week, Jungkook goes back to his dorm. Hoseok had convinced him to, saying that Jimin was too important to him to let this get in the way of their friendship. He was right. He opens the door, anxiety present in every breath he takes. He sees Jimin, sitting on his bed with his headphones on. He doesn’t realize him at first so Jungkook decides to sit in front of him. He jumps, hastily turning off whatever he was watching to give his attention to Jungkook.

“Koo,” Jimin breathes, throwing himself on top of the boy. He crushes him in a hug, wrapping his legs around Jungkook’s waist. “I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me for being an idiot. I was a horrible best friend and roommate, I know. I missed you so much,” Jimin whimpers, tucking his head into Jungkook’s neck.

“Jimin,” Jungkook hesitates, trying to pull away from the boy.

“Please don’t hate me, Koo,” Jimin pleads, gripping the arm of Jungkook’s sweatshirt.

“I could never hate you Chim, we just need to talk,” Jungkook tries to keep his voice calm, can’t start crying. Jimin nods, staying quiet to allow him to speak.

“I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” he begins, not looking at Jimin, “or at least I hope you didn’t. I know you weren’t trying to keep something from me. I just need you to understand how much this hurt. I want to move on, I can’t stand not having you around.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you ever, I never would. I know that it hurt you, I’m so sorry. I’m not gonna even make excuses. You don’t deserve that. I just hope you can forgive me for being a shitty friend,” Jimin says, looking at him with wide eyes. Jungkook’s surprised at how well this is going, he had expected Jimin to tell him it was his fault. He’s not really sure how to respond, having already partially forgiven Jimin.

“I’ll forgive you. We’ll be okay,” Jungkook says, smiling at Jimin, “besides, Yoongi’s the one I’m mad at.” On que, Yoongi walks into the room. Jungkook turns, seeing him holding a small bag.

“Jungoo, oh my god,” Yoongi sighs, rushing to hug Jungkook. Jungkook allows it, hugging him back. Although he’s mad, it’s so nice to be able to hold his brother again.

“We need to talk,” Jungkook says, feeling Yoongi flinch.

“Okay, I get that,” Yoongi responds, moving to sit next to Jungkook, on the opposite side that Jimin’s on.

“Why didn’t you talk to me for months?” Jungkook asks bluntly, again avoiding his eyes to prevent himself from crying.

“I didn’t think you needed me,” Yoongi responds. Jungkook looks up at him, at the face he grew up with, the brother that loved him.

“Why wouldn’t I need you?” Jungkook whispers, eyes looking into Yoongi’s.

“I- I knew you were calling me. I just thought it was because you were being polite. I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You’re an idiot,” Jungkook whines, shoving Yoongi’s shoulder, “you never bother me. I need you in my life. You’re my brother Yoongi, I love you.” Yoongi smiles, shoving Jungkook back.

“I love you too, Jungoo.” Yoongi moves forward to hug him again. Jimin appears too, wrapping himself around the back of Jungkook.

They end up staying together all night, Jungkook catching the two up on everything. They snuggle into Jungkook’s bed––he had refused to be on Jimin’s––watching a movie.

Before he falls asleep, he texts Hoseok.
Jungkook: i’m staying here tonight. everything’s good. i love you
Hoseok: good :) i love you more

Jungkook puts his phone down, letting himself be eased into sleep. Though he had arms of feathers and hollowed bones, tonight he had a heart of gold.

Six months later, Jungkook finds himself in South Gwangju, laying on Hoseok’s childhood bed. The room is a soft blue, save for the large sun painting on one wall. The bed isn’t too small but it isn’t huge either. Hoseok’s downstairs somewhere, saying goodnight to Mei. She’s extremely nice, nicer than Jungkook had thought was possible.

Jungkook is staying with them for the summer, not being able to go back home. His mother hadn’t asked him to and his stepfather had told him not to. Yoongi went to Daegu with Jimin but they’re gonna visit too. Jiwoo and her girlfriend are here for the week, but they’ll leave for Paris soon. He has Hoseok all to himself.

It’s a funny thing, their relationship. It has always been easy to talk to him, to be around him. He never has to try hard, everything is so natural with them.

The past couple months have been the happiest of his life. He’s not alone anymore.

Hoseok comes into the room, shutting off the light as he moves over to the bed. Jungkook’s turned towards the wall, Hoseok adjusting so he can wrap himself around his back.

“You asleep?” Hoseok whispers into Jungkook’s ear, making him shiver.

“Not yet,” he responds, turning his head so he can look back at Hoseok.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” Hoseok murmurs, smiling lazily at him. He smiles back, leaning forward to leave a kiss on his nose.

“I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else,” Jungkook says. Hoseok smiles at him sweetly.

“Mei loves you, you know,” Hoseok adds, holding Jungkook tighter to his chest.

“She’s so nice. Did you thank her for me? For letting me stay here?” Jungkook asks, turning back around in Hoseok’s hold.

“Mhh, yeah I did,” Hoseok murmurs, nuzzling his head in the space behind Jungkook’s neck. Sleep starts to pull at him, making his eyes fall shut. Everything gets a little louder.

“Do you know how much I love you?” Hoseok asks, voice muffled, “it’s so easy to fall in love with you.” Jungkook, even in his sleepy-state, blushes.

“I love you too, Seok,” Jungkook breathes. Hoseok pulls him impossibly closer, surrounding him with a sense of safety. Hoseok’s still talking to him but he can barely hear it, occasionally adding a quiet “mhhm.”

Jungkook falls asleep, lighter than he’s ever felt.

He has everything he ever needed, everything he’s ever wanted. They have so many things to do, so many things to see. Life has just started for them. He didn’t care if they messed up. As long as they had each other.