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Finally, a night to himself. Namjoon rarely has time alone anymore, what with comeback for Love Yourself Answer, and relentlessly working on promotions and things for their upcoming tour that is. The now ash blonde man has been stressed and on high alert, for months.
He just needs to loosen up a bit.
This particular night, the other six members have gone their separate ways, enjoying their tiny bit of free time before they went back to the normal grind. Namjoon decides the way he wants to unwind, the oldest way in the book known to man; porn. It was no secret that Namjoon watches porn. He even pseudo ratted himself during BTS's appearance on Yaman. The blonde figured since the others were gone, he would be safe.
When Namjoon shuffles into the lounge of their shared dorm, he immediately realizes a flaw to his plans. On the couch lays one Min Yoongi, delicately curled up in a ball, wedging himself into one of the corners of the sofa.
' Shit ,' Namjoon thinks to himself. He didn't take into account that Yoongi would most likely spend his free time sleeping in the dorms.
' Well he's a heavy sleeper, so as long as a don't host a party of noise, I won't get caught.' The blonde muses.
Namjoon sets the TV up with a decent video to start with. He settles at the other end of the couch, a blanket adorning his lap. He slips his hand under that band of his boxers, quietly enjoying himself. About five minutes into his fun, however, in saunters Seokjin.
"Oh hey Joonie what are y-" Seokjin stops dead in his tracks. His eyes flicker from Namjoon's horrified expression and the TV screen, soft moans emitting from the speakers.
"I-I can explain!" Namjoon squeaks, the eldest doesn't move or say anything, just stands there. Then to the youngers surprise Seokjin comes a joins him, leaning against the arm of the couch.
"You don't need to be embarrassed, it's not like this is abnormal for you," Jin jokes.
"I f-feel like I should be offended right now," Namjoon mumbles, his hyung only laughs that notorious windshield laugh of his.
"Don't let me stop you," Jin teases. Namjoon gulps and looks back at the TV, only he doesn't continue. How can he with his fellow bandmate and brother sitting right beside him.
A minute or two pass before Namjoon hears a scoff from Jin. He looks up to see his hyung's face contorted. He's about to shoo Jin, until the elder speaks.
"Look at her nasty ass toes nails, she could've at least trimmed them or painted them." Namjoon's brows knit together in confusion.
"What?" He questions,
Jin continues ranting, "I mean look at them! They're like damn raptor claws!"
"Jin-hyung! shhh!" Joon whisper yells, "Yoongi-hyung is sleeping, I don't want him to wake up! You and I both know he’d never let me live this down."
Jin glances over Namjoon's shoulder and waves his hand at Yoongi in dismissal, "Oh don't worry about him, He sleeps like a rock."
Namjoon huffs and tries to focus on something else, anything else.
"God damn, look at the dust on that shelf behind the guy. Who lives there? What kinda Boo Boo the Fool--” Jin continues to rail about various things in the scene. The blonde youth can’t even full process what’s happening. Something like this would only happen to him.
Much to Namjoon’s dismay, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungguk all heard Jin’s fulminating and came bumbling in one right after the other. Namjoon covers his face with his hands.
“ Hyung, I heard yelling, are you… O-oh!” Jimin cuts himself off in surprise, his eye flickering between his hyungs and the porno. The younger blonde starts to turn all kinds of red, even to the tips of his ears.
He shuffles over to where Yoongi is and looms over him, elbow resting on the back of the sofa. Jimin’s too flustered to say anything, but he would feel more embarrassed if he left. So, he settles on distracting himself by playing with Yoongi’s hair, carding his fingers through the dark locks.
Taehyung seems fairly unbothered by the situation. In fact, he’s infatuated with the acting aspect of the video. He takes a seat in the couch, dragging Jungguk down with him so they could cuddle. The youngest fidgets and whines until Taehyung asks,
“ Jungkookie, what’s wrong?”
“It’s just…” Jungguk heaves a heavy sigh and complains, “When the pizza going to get there? I know how these scenes work and the food never gets there. What if they get hungry TaeTae!?”
Jin snickers and pies in, “No, they’re too busy eating each oth-”
“HYUNG!” Hoseok comes storming in from the doorway. He practically runs and leaps onto the two youngest, more so Jungguk, attempting to cover both his eyes and ears. Hoseok manages to pry the youngest away from Taehyung, hands settling on the boy’s ears and looking over at Jin in annoyance.
“He’s still an innocent baby Jinnie! He can’t be soiled yet!” The human sunshine reprimands. Taehyung starts giggling somewhere behind the pair, covering his mouth with his hand.
“Too late Seokie-Hyung,” The man with the blonde mullet admits. Hoseok whips his head around to face him.
“You. did. not .” Hoseok deadpans.
Taehyung lifts a hand up in front of his own chest, shoulders sagging slightly, “Guilty, heh”
Hoseok groans pulling his hand back from Jungguk’s head and shaking them in fake disgust.
“Can you guys please keep it down, you’re going to wake Yoongi-hyung.” Jimin suddenly interjects softly. The other five boys turn to look at the pair at the far end of the couch. Jimin’s has since curled himself around Yoongi, still petting his hair. Meanwhile, Yoongi’s twitching and making little noises of contentment.
“You know how soft and grumpy he gets when you disturb is naps,” Jimin explains. Hoseok, Taehyung and Jungguk all coo at the display before them.
Jin smiles a bit as he laughs and teases, “He really is like a cat.”
Hoseok inquires, “You really love him don’t you Jiminie?” Jimin hums in response, eyes never leaving his sleeping hyung.
Namjoon’s still mentally broken. His hand is still down his pants beneath the blanket, but he hasn’t moved an inch. How can he? Everyone’s in the room with him, acting like this whole situation, like their all just sitting in on a sports game.
Once Hoseok regains himself, he reaches out and grabs the backs of both Taehyung’s and Jungguk’s shirts.
“Alright you two, it’s time to leave, you’re both too young and need the have The Talk ,” Hoseok states, guiding the two youngest out of the room.
“Noooo Seokie! Not The Talk !” Jungguk whines like a child.
“Hyuuuung! We’re not little kids! We’re grown men!” Taehyung retaliates, Hoseok and Jin both chuckle.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Jin taunts.
“You two of still growing boys, the changes are still happening!” Hoseok justifies in a motherly tone. Taehyung and Jungguk both gripe at their hyungs as they’re dragged out of the room, ‘ew’s’ trailing off into the distance.
Jimin and Yoongi are the only other two left. Namjoon doesn’t move, but he shifts his eyes toward to couple. Jimin’s covering Yoongi up with one of his hyung’s favorite fluffy blankets. Yoongi always fusses whenever Jin tries to wash it explaining, ‘It smells like home.’ Which they all know is code for, ‘Jimin uses that blanket a lot and it smells like him so, he needs it for when he’s feeling lonely or super soft.’
Once Jimin finishes, he leans down and presses a kiss to Yoongi’s forehead and mumbling something Namjoon’s ears don’t quite catch.
The younger then turns to look and Namjoon, and mutters, “I-I’ll let you finish up.” He quickly shuffles out of the room, still obviously feeling awkward.
Finally, Finally, after all of that, The ash blonde has got the room to himself; well mostly. Yoongi’s still lying, wedged in the corner of the couch. Thankfully, despite all of the comotion, his Hyung is still fast asleep.
‘I can just finish up quickly, then I can duck out of--’ Namjoon’s train of thought is broken when he hears a very distinct voice, one he’s been dreading most of all.
With his eyes still closed, Yoongi sneers groggily, “Are you done now?” Namjoon doesn’t even get a chance to answer as Yoongi continues, “Good, because this couch corner’s a bitch.” Yoongi stretches out all his limbs, promptly taking up all of the couch space.
Namjoon just sits there wide eyed and mouth hanging open.
This is why he can never have nice things...