Archive of Our Own

"Shit," Dex said before he pushed through the Haus's front door with too much rampant, unfocused energy. It was unlike him. "Shit," he grumbled again to no one. The hallway was littered with the few remaining duffels as people packed their things, ready to head home for the summer after a long week of finals. “Shit,” he muttered angrier as he tripped over one by the stairwell, kicking it in retaliation.

“My luggage didn’t do anything to you,” Nursey said. He was leaning in the doorway of the kitchen because of course he was—collected, in charge. 

“It tripped me," Dex answered, voice still dry and with a hint of anger though it wasn't directed at Nursey .

"Lame to blame the luggage. You shoulda been looking where you were going. On you, man.”

“It doesn’t actually—” Dex began before cutting himself off, rolling his eyes. “Is anyone else around?”

“What?” Nursey asked, bringing a hand up to his chest. “Am I not enough?”

“This,” Dex began, motioning to everything that was Nursey, “needs to not happen right now. I’m in an actual fucking situation, and I can’t fight with you about whatever fucking game you’re playing, and–” 

“Woah.” Nursey stepped forward, his eyebrows crashing together in concern. “Chill, tell me what’s up.”

Dex was too high strung, his hands clenched at his sides, to think about what a serious Nursey meant. Dex had seen this version of his fellow d-man so few times he could count it on a single hand. It was always a little disorienting, a little bewildering, and it never felt like something Dex should be privy to in the first place.

“My finals got fucked up, and I…” He brought up his wrist to check the watch. “Yep, just missed my flight.”

“You’re flying home?” Nursey asked. He knew it didn’t make sense with how close Dex lived, and especially not with the strain on finances.

“No, but I was supposed to fly to our family reunion. It was this big thing for the Poindexters, and my dad was so excited about it. He’s been helping to plan it all out for months, and I can’t switch the flight around so now I’m going to miss it. It’s going to break his heart.”

Dex released a breath after his words, afraid to look up. He didn’t do emotionally vulnerable unless he absolutely had to, and it still stung. The feeling of it cloying and warm. 

“I’ll drive you,” Nursey said.

Dex whipped his head up. Nursey looked as calm as he ever did, laid back even, as if he hadn’t just offered to drive Dex states away.

“You don’t know where it is,” Dex said.

“Where is it?”

“Minnesota.”

Nursey shrugged. “I”ll drive you. We can make that in, what? Two days if we push it? We’ll probably miss Friday, but we can get you there in time for Saturday morning no problem.”

“I can’t ask you to do this,” Dex said.

“You didn’t ask.” Nursey grabbed his own bag and threw it over his shoulder. “We can get going as soon as you’re ready, stay at mine tonight since it’s on the way. What is summer without a little road trip anyways, right?”

Dex opened his mouth, ready to argue Nursey on his offer and this isn’t a road trip and how you weren’t supposed to just offer to drive someone halfway across the country when you barely liked them. It wasn’t a smart plan to lock two people into a confined space like that. He wasn’t exactly in a place to argue, though. The thought of calling his dad and telling his family about how he'd messed up vibrated inside his chest like a gong. 

“Okay,” Dex said, “but I’m paying for half of the gas.”

“Sure, whatever you want, man.” Nursey smiled. “This might even be fun.”

They left an hour after that, making sure they found everyone to say goodbye and getting a bag of snacks from Bitty before they set off onto the road. It would take a little over four hours for them to get to Nursey’s. There they could settle in for the night so they were ready to get up early and make the bulk of the trip the next day.

Nursey insisted on driving the first leg, and Dex wasn’t going to argue with someone when they had offered him safety from a potentially hazardous situation. It was his car, after all. He didn’t want to cause waves, so he stayed as quiet as he could manage.

“Dude, you haven’t shit on my music once, and it’s been playing for a half hour. What gives?” Nursey asked, quirking an eyebrow up.

Dex shrugged, eyes darting between Nursey and the road. Nursey wasn’t a bad driver, but he was as relaxed behind the wheel as he was doing anything else so it put Dex a little on edge. “It’s fine.”

Nursey sighed. “Fine? You once said my hipster shit put you to tears it was so boring. You said you would rather listen to pain ASMR then my playlist while studying for midterms.”

“It’s not bad,” Dex said, which wasn’t entirely a lie. It had grown on him over the last half of a year as they were slowly forced to spend more and more time together because of Chowder. 

“You,” Nursey said, tilting his head and smirking in a way that made Dex’s inside twist with frustration, “are just trying to be nice.” 

“No,” Dex said. “It’s… okay, I’m being nice. How can you listen to this while you’re driving? How do you not fall asleep behind the wheel and swerve into oncoming traffic?”

The laugh that came from Nursey was loud and boisterous, unsettling Dex at least a little. He had expected a fight in response, which was usually what he got when it was the two of them. 

“There we go,” Nursey said. “Stop trying to keep all your opinions in because you’re trying to be nice. I swear, I wouldn’t have offered to drive you if I hadn’t wanted to. And, by the way, if you had it your way we’d be listening to outdated, rhythmically challenged music that triggers my ADD. Not good, man.”

“Hey! It’s not–” Dex stopped, seeing Nursey’s smile and finding it in himself to laugh a little. It was funny how they went through the same arguments, the same rotations over and over again. It never stopped being fun, though. “I can’t believe you wanted to willingly be in a car with me.”

Nursey shrugged, eyes focused frontward. “You’re never boring, Poindexter. I’ll give you that.”

They had hit the halfway mark to Nursey’s, filling up on gas and a few snacks, when Dex realized he didn’t know a single thing about Nursey’s parents. He had a vision of what Nursey’s life was at home—impeccable apartment, maids who cleaned it spotless, fancy parents in business suits who spoke in pretentious verse—but it was all speculation. For as much as Nursey could talk on topics without end, he never went there with his family.

“Are your parents going to be okay with me staying the night? And with you driving me all the way to Minnesota?” Dex asked between handfuls of pretzels. 

“They won’t care,” Nursey said.

“I don’t want them to think I’m sloppy and uncouth or something. I mean are there things I should know to make this go well?” Dex lifted a foot up to the dashboard before lowering it, wiping away the dirt he left.

“Dex,” Nursey said, shooting him a look. His face was blank. It looked as if he was trying to add a smile, play this all as a joke, but something had cut a little too close. “They won’t care, and you can put your feet up. I don’t give a shit.”

Unsettled, Dex nodded and watched the hills roll by out the window.

The closer they got to Nursey’s apartment, the more anxious Dex felt. This city life was different then what he was used to, and the brownstones they were driving past were beautiful in a way his family had never aspired to. He didn’t want Nursey’s parents to see him as some low class, ignorant fool, and the fact that he cared at all made him angry.

“Here we are,” Nursey said, bringing the car to a halt.

The brownstone was identical to the others, and Dex was surprised. He thought he would see the apartment and it would scream Nursey, scream something unique and special. He thought maybe it would make him understand, but he wasn’t inside yet. It was just the outside of a building, he reminded himself.

They walked up with just their duffels, leaving the rest of Nursey’s packed up things in the back until they had gotten in. The door creaked open, and the two walked into a long hallway.

“I’m home!” Nursey called, dropping the keys in a dish by the door.

It was hyper-organized—mail in small compartments, keys hanging from hooks, no shoes lined against the entryway.

“Would you mind helping me carry in my stuff?” Nursey asked. He hit his shoulder into Dex’s, smiling a smile that Dex knew meant trouble. “I mean, it’s the least you can do after–”

“Oh, shut up,” Dex said, following after Nursey anyways. He was surprised Nursey didn’t want to hunt down his parents, but he shrugged it off.

The two went back out to the car, grabbing as many boxes as they could handle and bringing them in through the hallway to the bottom of the stairs. It was oddly quiet in the apartment as they worked. The space was wide open with creaking wooden floors and no ambient noise.

It was so contrasting from what Dex would experience if he was coming home for the summer. His family would be around, and they would all be helping to bring in his things. They would laugh and tease. It was hard for Dex because sometimes his family didn’t understand him, but they always loved him. That was more than some people got, he guessed.

“That’s all of it,” Nursey said, slapping his hands together with a wide smile. “I think we deserve pizza? There’s this great place just a few blocks down that knows my order, and if you think you’ve had good pizza you haven’t even gotten close until you’ve had this place.”

“Pizza sounds great,” Dex said, turning slowly to take the apartment in. There was a large living room connected to the kitchen. He could see a dining room further down the hall and what he thought was an office space. Up the stairs must be Nursey’s bedroom. There weren’t many pictures, though, or knick knacks. He had the same feeling he had when they pulled up—it was too lifeless to be the place Derek Nurse, a man filled with personality, had come from.

“Nurse, where are your parents?” Dex asked. “Are they working late?”

Nursey shook his head, looking up from the drawers he was rifling through to find the takeout menu. “Nah, they’re out of the country. Dad is in Shanghai right now, I think? Last time I checked mom was in London.”

“When we got here you called out.”

Nursey shrugged. “You never know.”

Dex stepped forward, brow furrowed. “When are they coming back? How long are you staying here alone?”

Nursey shrugged again. It was like with each question Dex asked and every response he became looser, more detached. More of the person that set Dex on edge. “They really aren’t here much. They have a lot of international clients and work to do.”

“They were going to leave you here alone for most of the summer?” Dex asked. He didn’t know why his ears were starting to burn or his jaw felt tight.

“Dude, chill,” Nursey said. “It’s not a big deal. Don’t know why you’re getting worked up about it.”

“Parents are supposed to care, Nursey. They’re supposed to show up.”

Nursey’s face tightened up. “You don’t know them, Dex. You don’t know any of this.”

Dex took a step back, eyeing the spacious room again in a foreign light. It felt so empty and vacant—of people and personality. Why did he care in the first place? It wasn’t his job to tell Nursey that his parents were dicks for avoiding him, and he shouldn’t care anyways. Nursey got everything Dex had never been able to afford. His life was easy, though Dex was pretty sure as he thought it over he would take his parents supportive smiles over fancy new clothes and absence.

“You’re right. I’m going to use the bathroom,” Dex said. “Anything is fine for the pizza.”

Nursey nodded slowly, and Dex had never been that good at reading people in the first place. On top of that, Nursey was a whole other deck of cards. He was an enigma to Dex, who couldn’t predict his emotions or the way he was going to respond. It was infuriating.

After using the bathroom, Dex paused in the hallway to hear Nursey rifling around in the kitchen. Not wanting to go back to the tense space or that conversation quite yet, he grabbed a box and took it up the stairs. There were three bedrooms, but Dex could pinpoint Nursey’s by the opened door.

When he stepped in, he set down the box and took in the surroundings. The bed was simple, with a wooden headboard and blue sheets. There were a few framed posters—a hockey one, a band, a poet. The shelves were lined with books, spilling out because there wasn’t enough space for them. Above his desk were pinned quotes that Dex took a step forward to see.

This space spoke to a Nursey Dex understood. This felt like stepping into the brain of someone he had begrudgingly gotten to know the last year. It was a refuge from the rest of the lifeless space outside the door.

“Pizza is here,” Nursey said, leaning against the doorway.

Dex jolted, not having realized he had been there. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Nursey said. “Thanks for carrying up a box.”

“I can’t believe you’re just as pretentious as I always thought,” Dex said, and though his voice was gruff he had attempted to lob it as a joke. “I can’t even pronounce some of those titles.”

“You say pretentious, I say highly intelligent. What? You can only speak one language, Dex?”

“We don’t all get fancy boarding schools,” Dex said.

Nursey paused and shook his head. “No, not everyone does.”

Dex could feel there was something more hiding underneath, but he wasn’t going to push it. He had already been a dick enough for the night, and though he didn’t always try to be one, he could try hard to not be one.

“I’m ready for this pizza to change your life, and then we probably should go to bed early. If we want to make it we’re going to have to drive a lot tomorrow.”

“I want to make it,” Dex said with a determined nod. “Okay, pizza. Let’s do it.”

“You sure you don’t want to stay in the guest room?” Nursey asked as he unplugged the air mattress. He threw a couple of blankets and a pillow on top. It was harder to maneuver in the space now with the two beds, but Dex didn’t mind. It felt more familiar this way.

“Your house is kinda creepy,” Dex said. “And I’m not scared, but I’d rather just stay here. Plus, I know how bad you can be in the mornings.”

“That you’re not wrong about.” Nursey threw off his pants and his shirt, stopping to scroll through his phone as he stood next to his bed.

Dex wasn’t sure why that startled him so much, the sight of so much Nursey, when he had seen it any number of times in the locker room. Maybe it was the intimacy of it with Nursey in his own bedroom. The proximity of him lying only a few feet away.

Finally, Nursey slipped between his sheets and turned out the lights. Dex shifted, hating the way the air mattress squeaked with every movement. He was sure Nursey had already passed out when the sound of him flipping around in his bed cracked the silence.

“You weren’t wrong,” he said in barely more than a whisper. 

“Nursey…”

“You weren’t,” he repeated. “They’re never here. I get so used to it that I forget it isn’t meant to be this way, and then I get defensive.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Dex said. “I just… everyone deserves people there for them.”

The silence in the dark wasn't heavy, but it was expansive. “You’re growing soft on me, Poindexter,” Nursey said finally, the smile visible in his words. “Just wait until this trip is over. You might even like me.”

Dex wasn’t sure he would go quite that far yet, but he was starting to understand Nursey and that seemed more terrifying somehow. He hadn’t intended for that to happen, had thought he already did understand Nursey. The things he had known, though, were clearly off base.

“Rise and shine,” Dex said as he threw a pillow at Nursey’s head.

He groaned, picking up the pillow and tossing it back. Dex laughed as he set it down on his already made air mattress.

“Many miles to go.”

Nursey peered back up at him from behind his bed sheets, only a single bleary eye visible. “Coffee first stop?”

“Get dressed, and we can stop for coffee and gas first.”

Nursey wasn’t anything close to functional as he threw a few clothes into a duffel bag and grabbed other odds and ends. He threw on a pair of sunglasses like he was a hungover celebrity, and Dex thought he was being pretty generous by not chirping him for that.

Dex went to the driver’s side, but he handed the aux cord to Nursey. He played some mellow music, the words indecipherable. Usually, Dex wouldn’t have been able to stand it, but it wasn’t that bad for the early morning.

By the time they stopped for coffee, Nursey was already asleep. Dex knew his order, though (it was simply a matter of proximity, okay? He didn’t pay attention to Nursey), and slipped it into the cup holder. It was only slightly melted twenty minutes later when a bump in the road jolted him awake, and he greedily reached out for it.

“God bless you.” Nursey smiled into the stream of sunlight through the dashboard, the iced coffee cup held between his palms, and Dex thought he looked like someone Nursey would write a poem about. Ethereal and shit. Otherworldly in their beauty. Or something like that. Dex wasn’t the one who was good with words.

“We’re stopping for lunch,” Nursey said. “I know you’re all paranoid about getting there on time, but we haven’t really stopped all day.”

“But…”

“I will drive us all through the night if it means you will stop at this Cracker Barrel and let me get cornbread, dude.”

Dex took a hand off the wheel to adjust his hat, flipping it around. He was hungry, and Nursey was the one kind enough to borrow his car to him. It made sense to stop. He only didn’t want to because of the anxiety that had been sitting low in his belly since the moment he had missed his expensive flight.

“Dex, let loose. Come on.”

That bothered Dex, but he hadn’t actually said the word chill so he thought he could let it go this once. He had been managing to do well enough since the trip started.

“I swear to god if you make any comments about me being uptight or a stick in the mud I will drive right back onto the highway. No cornbread for you.”

Nursey threw one hand over his heart and the other up in the air in promise. Then he smiled, cheering and clapping as Dex got off on the exit. They had made it almost halfway through Pennsylvania with surprisingly easy speed.

“You’re a child,” Dex said, but clearly it wasn’t that harsh since Nursey smiled at him and shrugged.

“There’s only so much we can control. Why wouldn’t I be happy about the things that go right?”

They pulled up to the front of the store and parked. They each needed a minute to stretch before going in, and then they were quickly ushered to a table. The smile on Nursey’s face was constant, never leaving all the way to them sitting and looking through the menu.

“What’s up with you?” Dex asked.

Nursey looked up and tilted his head. “What?”

“You’re smiling. And you’re cheery. And it’s freaking me out.”

Nursey leaned forward and rested his chin on his closed fist. His eyes trailed over the restaurant. It set Dex on edge that he waited so casually before answering his question, made him feel like he was being ignored.

Maybe that was part of the reason Nursey was a hard pill for Dex to swallow. The money, the chillness—those had been the things that bothered him most at first, but sometimes Dex knew the reason he got bothered by Nursey was because he acted like there was all the time in the world. He had an excess of love to give and patience to spare. Dex felt an urgency in everything, like if he let up for a second the world would come crashing down around him.

And a part of him he had ignored for too long because he couldn’t handle thinking about it, wanted Nursey to want Dex. It wanted Nursey to give Dex attention and love when he had been clamoring for it his whole life. His family loved him, but it was big and there were always problems afoot. How was Dex going to pay for college? How were they going to afford his sister’s dance classes? Who was going to go to Dex’s hockey game when his older brother needed them somewhere else?

“I’ve never been on a road trip before,” Nursey said, pulling Dex out of his thought spiral. “My parents never had time for it. If we travelled, it was somewhere nice and private with good wifi service for their emails. I’m not complaining. Like, I know you’re thinking in your head how spoiled it all makes me, but I never had people who would want to sit in a car with me for days on end. So, it’s kinda nice.”

Nursey shrugged, looking back at the menu with a chill that was much too calm to be anything other than manufactured. Dex still had a hard time hearing the way Nursey spoke about money as if it was endless, like it was nothing, when it had always been everything to Dex. But he had never had to know that his family didn’t care about him or want to spend time with him. He had always known he was loved even when he had to accept that no one could show up to his game or pick him up from somewhere.

They were simply different breeds of insecure. A different jumble of problems, and this whole time Dex had been shaming him for not having the same ones as him. They couldn’t do anything but accept the lots in life they’d been given, and Dex could admit he hadn’t been as understanding to Nursey as he could be.

“Don’t start feeling bad for me,” Nursey said. “Come on, where’s the chirp about my rich people problems? I’m so fucking cliche it hurts. I should wipe my tears with dollar bills.”

“Check me for my white privilege and then we can truly relive our first weeks of knowing each other,” Dex said with a small smile. He had never been much good at responding the right way or comforting others. He was used to shoving every problem down until he couldn’t anymore, and then continuing to pile on top of that.

“Wow, you’re trying to lighten the tension,” Nursey said with a shake of his head. “This is a parallel universe.”

“That started the second you offered to drive me. You? Liking me ? And enough to drive in a car with me for days… that was the most twilight zone shit that could have happened.”

Nursey laughed, but there was something in the way he shifted his gaze that didn’t make any sense to Dex. Had he said the wrong thing? He thought he was just poking fun of their dynamic the same way Nursey had.

“I’m glad you’re on this road trip with me, then,” Dex said.

“Why?” Nursey lifted his eyes from the tabletop where they had landed.

“You need a reality check. You’ll understand why being stuck in the car with someone for days is actually hell by the end of it.”

“But I’m stuck with such charming company. How could I possibly tire of William Poindexter?”

Dex threw his straw wrapper at Nursey, who dodged it and nearly fell off his chair at the shift of balance. The two burst into laughter, and by the time the waitress appeared Dex’s face was red with laughter and Nursey had a stream of tears coming from his left eye.

If only the team could see them now.

They had been driving for another two hours when Nursey finally cracked. They had been on the same highway for at least 100 miles, the landscape blending together, and Dex was sitting patiently in shotgun.

“I am so done with this highway!” Nursey exclaimed.

Dex scoffed, leaning his elbow on the passenger door. “Welcome to the road trip. Long stretches of highway. Aching limbs. Nothing to do.”

“Aren’t there games or something? There’s gotta be something.”

Taking pity on him, Dex tilted his body to be turned more toward Nursey. “We aren’t playing any games that require you looking for letters or different state license plates because I don’t trust your attention span while driving.”

“Rude, but fair.”

“Why not twenty questions?” Dex asked. “If you can keep your eyes trained on the road.”

“What about personal twenty questions? Like we each get twenty questions to ask about the other, have to be honest.”

“So, like truth or dare without the dare?” Dex said. "You're just nosy." 

He flipped him off then shrugged. “Kinda like that, but it’s limited. You get twenty then it’s done. If someone passes on a question they lose, and if we both make it through them all we win.”

Dex paused, watching the greenery pass by outside the window. He didn’t like games like this because he was usually bad at picking questions, and he never liked to open up about himself. Emotional intimacy made him uncomfortable mostly, even if he craved it.

“Why do you like writing?” Dex asked.

Nursey nodded, happy with him choosing to opt in. “I like the escapism of it, because you get to write about anyone and anywhere. And you can do it anywhere, even if you don’t have anyone else around. I know it sounds stupid and cliche, but I don’t know how to not write. Like I’ve just done it so long.”

Dex hadn’t ever read anything Nursey wrote. Mostly he was afraid that he would hate it, and then it would get awkward when Nursey asked about it. Plus, he didn’t understand literature much. He was a science and technology man. Nothing else made as much sense to him.

“Would you be going into something secure and usually lucrative like computer programming if you didn’t worry about money?” Nursey asked. 

“Seriously?” Dex sighed. “That’s an intense question.”

“This is an intense game, Dex. Only the truth will set you free.”

Dex took his time and changed the music over to a playlist Chowder had made him for Christmas. Chowder’s music was usually a good middle ground for them, and Nursey bobbed his head in approval.

“I don’t think I’d be doing something different,” Dex said. “I genuinely like computers. I like problems that have a clear solution, which is why I like fixing stuff. I think I’ve always been a practical person, and that could be a mix of the way I grew up and just my personality, but it’s a good fit for me.”

Nursey had opened his mouth to say something when Dex’s phone rang, and he snapped it shut. Dex was happy for the save, not that what they had talked about anything that emotional, but it still made him uncomfortable to imagine Nursey dissecting his life. It most likely would end in an argument if anything.

“Hey mom,” Dex said. He picked at the edge of his shirt.

“Hey, sweetie. How far away are you? A lot of your cousins are all getting here tonight, and we miss you!”

“We’re about to drive over the Pennsylvania border into Ohio,” Dex said. “I think we’ll get there bright and early Saturday morning. Maybe Friday night if we book it.”

His mother sighed in content over the phone. “I’m so happy your friend was willing to drive you. We’ll have to treat him to a nice meal or something. Your dad would have been so devastated if you hadn’t been able to make it. I know you say some things about this Derek sometimes, but it seems like he’s a good friend.”

Dex watched the profile of Nursey’s face. It was pointedly turned forward, devoid of emotion besides for a slight curve to his lips as he moved with the music.

“Yeah,” Dex said, feeling his throat dry up a little. “He is.”

The gas station was dingy, but it had a bathroom and a soda dispenser so Dex was happy.

Nursey held up a bag of sour gummy worms and a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. “Sweet and sour or chocolate?”

Dex scratched at the back of his head. “Is this one of your questions? You’re down to fifteen.”

Rolling his eyes, Nursey grabbed the sour gummy worms. “Fine, no choices for you, then.”

“Wait, chocolate,” Dex pleaded.

Nursey turned, squinting his eyes in silent debate before reaching back for the chocolate and adding it to his pile. “Fine. You’re a shitty sharer, anyways. One for each of us.”

“I resent that.”

“I knew you would.”

“My family is probably going to love you.”

“Why?” Nursey asked, throwing up a gummy worm and catching it between his teeth.

“You’re so fucking personable and shit,” Dex said. He held out his hand, and Nursey handed him an unwrapped peanut butter cup. “They’ll be half in love the moment they meet you.”

“You sure you aren’t the one half in love with me?” Nursey asked, raising a brow. “Personable and shit is high praise coming from you.”

“Keep feeding me chocolate and all bets are off.”

Dex liked Nursey’s car. It had seats you could air condition and a killer sound system, but there was only so long you could be in any car. After twelve hours, he was about ready to melt into the floor and stop existing entirely. His butt ached, and he would never admit it but he needed to stand straight pronto.

“Let’s stop for the night,” Nursey said, and Dex was happy he hadn’t been the one to have to say it.

They drove for another fifteen minutes until they found a sign for a motel and pulled off the main road. Nursey pulled out his credit card at the front desk before Dex could protest, weakly saying Dex could pay tomorrow night if they needed it despite Dex being pretty sure he would pull the same thing tomorrow.

Usually, it made Dex tighten up with frustration at the assumption that he couldn’t afford to contribute. He reminded himself that it wasn’t what Nursey thought, though. He was too tired to really care how he got the motel room anyways.

They both went back out to grab their duffel bags before Dex trailed behind Nursey to the room. When he opened the door he stopped abruptly, and Dex ran into his back.

“Dude,” Dex said, reaching a hand up to rub at his nose.

“You’re not going to be happy.” Nursey stepped to the side to let Dex in, revealing a single bed.

His heartbeat quickened, and he took deep breaths as he went to set down his bag. This was one of those things Dex didn’t need to get overly upset at. It was hard sometimes when his anger seemed to prickle awake so quickly, but this was just a single bed. He was an adult. He could sleep in the same bed for a single night with his heartbreakingly attractive nemesis slash friend.

“Let’s just…” he trailed off, staring at the bed as if it might magically spring into two, “go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

Nursey nodded in agreement. “I’m going to shower.”

Dex wanted to wash the day off of him, but he was too tired to argue. He was too tired to wait to face plant into the bed, and after quickly changing out of his pants and throwing his hat off, he took the far side of the mattress. He could shower in the morning.

He had half-dozed off by the time Nursey came out. Nursey turned off the lights and slipped into the bed beside him, careful not to get too close.

“Are you asleep?” he asked.

Dex grumbled. “Almost.”

“Am I the first non-family dude you’ve ever shared a bed with?” he asked.

“Shared a bed with? Nah. The first one to stay for a night, then yes.”

“Who knew you were so promiscuous,” Nursey joked, but it was light and gentle in the darkness of the motel room. “I’m proud to be your first, Poindexter.”

“It’s not…” Dex groaned, throwing his arm over his eyes in the half darkness and looking up to the ceiling. If he looked over at Nursey, the situation would become too real for him to fathom. “I’m bad at fleeting intimacy. Like, it needs to be real for me to give that.”

Nursey stayed quiet, and Dex felt himself clench up in the static of silence. He really fucking hated talking about his feelings, and maybe that was part of why it was so hard for him. He’d had a few flings, but he didn’t like trying to open up. They had never seemed worth it, anyways, and if Dex was going to work through the tax of talking about how he felt, then the person better be the real deal.

“That’s not a bad thing, Dex,” Nursey said. 

“You didn't just ask to make fun of me? A loser who’s never been in love.” Dex winced after the words were out. He should have kept his mouth shut.

“Dude, why would I make fun of you? It’s not like I’ve been in love.”

His words sat in the darkness. Minutes ago, Dex had been seconds from the sweet release of sleep, but now he felt hyperaware of every breath and sound. Nursey was a foot away from him, most certainly the most beautiful man to ever be in a bed with him.

Dex didn’t know how to define him. They weren’t really friends, but they weren’t enemies anymore, either. They were in a foggy, ambiguous space. When he really let himself think about it, he knew there was a fondness inside of him that was reserved just for Nursey the same way he had a fondness for Chowder. It was different, though. Harder to pinpoint.

“Imagine how happy Chowder would be if he could see us,” Dex said. “We’re literally having a heart to heart in close vicinity.”

“Screw Chowder, imagine Shitty.” 

The two of them laughed, thinking about their various roommates finding out the two of them were sharing a bed in a motel in Ohio. The two of them talking about love. In moments like this, Dex would almost admit Nursey was something special. Almost.

“Night, Nursey.” 

Nursey yawned, rolling onto his side so his response drifted away from Dex. “Goodnight. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite.”

Unsurprisingly, Dex woke up first. The light from the window was perfectly scattered across Dex’s eyes, leaving him bewildered and too hot in the sun. He brought up a hand to shelter himself from the light and scooted out of its line.

When he could finally see again, his heart skipped a beat. Seeing Nursey tired was simply part of the deal of being his teammate—he showed up to practice in a constant state of drowsy clumsiness—but Dex had never been so close to it before. And he’d never seen Nursey like this, fast asleep with a peaceful expression on his face.

Dex didn’t want to disturb him. His hair was wild, his face smooth, his lips quirked the slightest bit up. He was so unbelievably soft and open. Nursey sighed, curling both closer to Dex and more into himself. Dex froze as Nursey brought up a finger to curl around Dex’s wrist and sighed again.

His heart felt like it was in his throat. Seeing Nursey like this was too much, because not only did it make Dex feel a certain way, it made it all the more clear how Dex was never going to have it.

Nursey was open with his love and affection, and Dex sometimes wished he could be that way but he wasn’t. And even so, Nursey was never going to be that way with Dex even if they became closer. Dex had never realized how deeply he wanted Nursey to want that connection, wanted him around, wanted him to like him.

Even when they fought. Even when Dex couldn’t stand the sight of Nursey, he still didn’t really want him to leave. Fuck. These were the exact feelings Dex usually tried to avoid at all costs. It was so much safer.

Dex scooted away from Nursey and pushed off the bed, making a point to loudly hit the mattress with his knee as he slipped into his jeans. Nursey bursted up, looking around wildly. The sun slanted across his face, and Dex’s heart stuttered.

“Time to go,” Dex croaked.

Nursey tilted his head and gave him a weird look, but Dex was already packing up his things and throwing his duffel bag over his shoulder. The faster they got to Minneapolis, the quicker Dex could forget this strange alternate universe he had briefly stepped into.

Nursey didn’t say anything for a solid three hours, which was probably record-breaking for him. Dex turned the music up loud when they got into the car and threw on his beat-up sunglasses, hiding away from conversation and the strange feelings he had become too attuned to in the last few hours. 

“Dude, you’re being weird. Is this about the conversation we had last night? Because I promise not to tell anyone you have feelings or whatever,” Nursey said. “Scout’s honor.”

“It’s not…” Dex trailed off with a groan, reaching up to rub the bridge of his nose.

“I kinda thought we were actually getting to a good place as friends, and I know you’ll chirp me about my feelings, but it would be nice if you, Chowder, and I could all hang out more amicably. I like being your friend, man.”

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Nursey was being emotionally open. How did someone even do that? Someone who had parents who were absent and the worst kind of examples about being able to communicate about one’s feelings. Dex didn’t know how to tell him that he wanted to be his friend, but he was unfairly attracted to him and maybe, sorta had other feelings too and this was really hard for him please give him a break.

“I think I’m just hangry,” Dex settled with. Which was just like him, because it was absolutely nowhere near anything he should have said.

“Easy problem, bro,” Nursey said. “There’s a Chick-fil-a, a Taco Bell, a McDonald’s… the world’s our oyster.”

Dex swallowed thickly. “Sounds good.”

They broke down somewhere over the Wisconsin border.

“I thought your car was supposed to be state of the art,” Dex said as he grabbed his wallet and hat to cover up with. It was sunny, and they were going to have to walk for an undetermined amount of miles. Nursey’s phone had died right after telling them which direction to walk in.

“Don’t be mean to her,” Nursey said. He gave the hood of the car a loving pat before following after Dex. “She’s been working very hard for us the last two days.”

“We’re five hours away. We almost could have made it tonight.” Dex wiped sweat from his brow. His jaw tensed uncomfortably.

“Relax,” Nursey said. “We’re still going to get you there tomorrow morning.”

“I can’t relax!” Dex snapped, throwing his hands out to the side. He turned back forward, walking in silence with Nursey beside him. “This is important.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t.”

When Dex started his freshman year, Shitty used to try to sit him down and talk out his anger. Shitty meant well, but Dex was so fresh to the talking about his feelings thing that it was hard and usually made his anger more pent up. Sometimes, though, he still thought about Shitty’s open, honest face and the way he tried to get Dex to breathe in and out with him.

He took two deep breaths in and let one out to the wind.

“Not to be a cliche of my own,” Dex said, “but I really don’t like disappointing my dad.”

“Hey,” Nursey said, throwing up his hands to the air, “we’ve all got daddy issues.”

Dex scrunched up his nose. “Ew. I don’t like it when you say it like that.”

Nursey shrugged. “It’s true. If you don’t love him so much you’re trying to constantly impress him, then you want him to love you so much you’re desperately hoping to impress him. We can’t win.”

“Are you the second?” Dex asked. Popping the question into the air felt like striking a hot iron.

The road in front of them looked so endless, and Nursey turned away from it to raise an eyebrow in Dex’s direction. “You’ve only got eight questions left. You sure you want to use it on this can of worms?”

“What else are we going to do?”

The gravel underneath their feet crunched, and the sun beat down on them from above.

“I guess I just have parent issues,” Nursey said. “They weren’t around a lot. I’m insecure about it. They don’t really understand what I’m doing. Classic rich people drama, you’d say.”

“It doesn’t diminish the shit you’ve been through,” Dex said. “Shitty would say your feelings are valid.”

“And what does Dex say?” Nursey tilted his head to the side.

“Fuck them.”

Nursey nodded. “Very Dex.” The two walked a little further. Over the horizon a highway marker appeared in the distance, though they were still too far away to read it. “What about your parents?”

Dex bit the inside of his cheek, feeling the skin break. His mouth tasted of metal. God he hated feelings, but Nursey was being open with him. He wanted to be able to be open back.

“They love me,” Dex said, “but I don’t think they always get me. Maybe they don’t really get any of us that much. There was so much always going on, and I think sometimes we got lost in the shuffle. Maybe me most because I didn’t want to cause a problem so I made sure I stayed out of everyone’s way. When I can make them happy, make their life easier, I want to be able to do that.”

“You’re a good son,” Nursey said.

Dex shrugged. “I’m just trying my best. I miss the mark a lot, but eventually I get it right, right?”

“You think that's what happened with us?” Nursey asked. “We just kinda missed each other’s marks?”

“We’re stubborn and have wildly different backgrounds,” Dex said. “It’s hard for us to not butt heads.”

“You’re stubborn,” Nursey said with a wave of his hand. “I’m chill.”

Dex rolled his eyes. “Sure, man. I’m the whole problem." 

“If only you could have admitted to that a year ago! We could have been friends this whole time.”

Dex perched his mouth open to respond, and he wasn’t sure if it was going to be mocking or sentimental—it seemed to be a mixed bag on the road with Nursey, in this separation from reality—but a car pulled up from behind.

“You boys need a ride?” The woman was in her fifties, and a golden retriever sat in the back.

Nursey smiled in the way that got him free coffees and numbers on napkins. Dex had seen it enough times, usually gritting his teeth and rolling his eyes beside him.  

“Do we ever,” he said.

They were two miles away from a car shop, but in the opposite direction of where they had walked.

“Bad luck. You two had a fifty-fifty shot,” she said.

Dex tried not to glare too harshly at Nursey, instead keeping his arms locked in front of his chest and tensing his jaw. He could feel Nursey’s eyes on the side of his face.

“Well, we appreciate you twisting around to drive us,” Nursey said.

The woman shrugged. “We like to be midwestern nice around these parts. Where are you two from?”

“East coast,” Nursey said. “We’re on our way to Minnesota for a family reunion.”

“Oh, well isn’t that sweet that you decided to road trip it out.”

“I’ve never been on one before so Will is showing me the ropes.”

Dex looked up from his place in the backseat where he had been pointedly looking out the window in frustration and caught Nursey’s eye. Will. He didn’t know why that was so disorienting to him, but it set him off. The dog whined, and Dex reached out a hand to pet him.

“That’s Charlie. She’s perfectly friendly. You’re a natural, though.”

“I used to have a dog,” Dex said with a small smile.

The woman smiled back in the rearview mirror. “You two should get another one. Such nice companionship, and it’s great practice for having a family someday.”

Dex sputtered, and Nursey snorted, and the woman looked confused.

“Sorry, we just really aren’t looking to settle down anytime soon. We’re still so young,” Nursey said.

That made Dex mad, but also it made that familiar feeling of want fill his stomach again. This was stupid. Just 48 hours shouldn’t change so much in your life, but Nursey smiled back at him over his shoulder, sending him a wink, and Dex almost wanted to smile back.

They ended up at a motel a five minute walk from the repair shop, which they had been assured would be able to fix Nursey’s car for bright and early the next morning. Nursey was vibrating with energy, and Dex had had a long day. He mostly wanted to pass out on his bed and watch a movie.

“Let’s go drink,” Nursey said. “She said they have cheese curds at the bar. We can’t not have cheese curds in Wisconsin!”

“I’m… tired.”

“You’re lame.” Nursey threw on his jacket and slipped his phone into his jeans. “I’m going out. Join me if you decide you want to be fun.”

Then the door closed behind him. Dex knew he should follow Nursey, and he would… eventually. They obviously had Nursey patrol for a reason, so Dex didn’t feel comfortable letting him go out and drink by himself. But Dex needed a minute to think, shower, and think some more first. 

It was hard being around Nursey so constantly, but now it wasn’t only because Nursey annoyed him. He had to deal with all these feelings that were confusing and convoluted. What did he feel for Nursey? He was attracted to him, sure, but everyone was. He did like being in his presence, even when they were fighting, despite sometimes needing moments like this to breathe. The more he got to know about Nursey, the more he understood him. The more that made him like him, feel for him.

Dex was pretty sure people would tell him this meant he liked Nursey. Childish, like-liked. But that didn’t make sense. He had done everything he possibly could for the last year to avoid him, to keep him away from him, because Nursey got on his nerves constantly. He got everything—money, dates, friends—all like it was easy. Except not everything, because Nursey craved family and acceptance like crazy. He was just so relaxed with hiding it.

“Fuck,” Dex said as he grabbed at his flannel to throw it over his shoulders. Fuck, because he liked Nursey and fuck because it had been long enough for Nursey to be a couple drinks in, sloppy and drunk.

It took a few minutes for Dex to make it to the rundown bar, and when he entered the music was unbearably loud where it came from a jukebox in the corner. He really was an eighty-year-old man sometimes, he thought as he almost reached up to cover his ears.

Nursey was sitting at the end of the bar, two empty glasses in front of him and another nearly there in his hand. A girl with bright orange hair sat next to him, dancing her fingers against the condensation of her own drink. 

She leaned in, whispered something into his ear, and Dex saw red. Marching over to him, he kept his clenched fists at his side.

“Hey, we need to go,” Dex said.

Nursey looked up at him and his eyes were bleary, like he had to swim to the surface of the water to get to him. “Dex!”

“We have an early morning, man,” Dex said as he grabbed onto Nursey’s arm.

Her hand came out to touch Nursey’s forearm. “You don’t have to go with him if you don’t want to." 

“He’s drunk, ma’am,” Dex said, relishing in the way she recoiled with the ma’am. “So, as his friend, I think it’s much wiser for him to go with me than you. Come on, Derek.”

Nursey followed wordlessly, stumbling a few steps before grabbing more fully onto Dex’s arm. “You said friend.”

Dex paused. “We are friends, Nursey.”

They walked in silence back to the motel, Nursey all but needing to be carried the way his legs fell underneath him like jelly.

As they entered the room, Nursey mumbled something about needing to shower off the night. Dex sat on the edge of his bed, waiting patiently. Just as he was starting to worry and go to check on him in the bathroom, Nursey appeared wet and tired.

He came to sit on the bed next to Dex, and it was clear that while the shower had helped him become more present he was still painfully drunk.

“Do you like me, Will?” Nursey asked, sounding small and vulnerable. 

Too much, Dex wanted to say. “Of course, Nurse.”

“I just…” He looked down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs before letting his arms fall back to his sides. When he looked up his eyes were wet. “Why doesn’t anyone want me around? Like, my parents should love me, right? I just want…” His words were garbled into a cry.

“I want you,” Dex said immediately, and it was the whole truth. Nursey was his friend and maybe something more, but at the base of everything Nursey was someone Dex knew was going to be in his life for a long time. He reached an arm around Nursey’s shoulders and Nursey fell into him. 

“I’m so… tired. Of like, pretending I’m chill all the time and that I don’t want things and… God, you’re never going to let me live this down.”

Dex wanted to pull him closer, hold him tighter, grip all of the pain out of Nursey. It wasn’t fair he had to feel this way. It wasn’t fair that the people in Dex’s life couldn’t see how wonderful and incredible they were.

“Nursey,” Dex said, pulling back slightly so they were making eye contact, “I’m not going to fault you for being human.”

He hiccuped. “That almost sounded poetic.”

Dex shrugged. “Spend enough time around talented people, and it’ll start to rub off on you.”

That brought a smile to Nursey’s lips, and he fell back onto the bed. Dex wasn’t going to bother to tell him this wasn’t the bed he claimed, but as he stood up Nursey reached out a hand to clasp on his forearm.

“Can you just…”

Dex gulped, then nodded. He threw off his shoes and flannel, crawling closer. Nursey fit himself around the edges of Dex’s body. He was terrified to reach out in return.

“You’ve got a good heart, William Poindexter.” Then he reached a delicate hand to wrap around Dex’s shirt fabric.

That almost made Dex want to cry in return.

Nursey jolted awake about four hours later, rushing to the bathroom.

As Dex sat beside him with his back leaned against the cool tile, holding a wet rag, he smirked.

“This I might not let you live down.”

“Oh, fuck off. You aren’t nice at all.”

Dex laughed, and Nursey raised his head up from the edge of the toilet to grimace in his direction. Even that was sort of endearing.

Dex’s phone went off early the next morning, only a few hours after Nursey had gotten sick in the bathroom. Nursey groaned, burrowing himself further into Dex’s side.

“We gotta get the car and go,” he said, though part of him wanted to stay right there.

Nursey nodded once, twice, then slowly crawled up and out of bed. He disappeared into the bathroom, and Dex got their things together. When Nursey appeared, Dex threw a water bottle his way.

“Thanks,” he croaked before they exited the room and walked to the shop.

They got the car quickly, and Dex slipped into the driver’s seat. They drove in silence for about twenty minutes before Nursey lifted his head from the window.

“I’m sorry if I was a lot to handle last night,” he said. He cracked a small, tired smile. “Guess there really is a reason for Nursey Patrol.”

Dex took a deep breath, his hands clenched on the wheel. “I’m going to say this once, and then since I’m bad at feelings we’re going to move on, okay? You aren’t a lot, you aren’t unloveable, and believe it or not coming from me, but you’re a great friend. People want you in their lives, Nursey. And if they don’t realize how fucking lucky they are to have you then they’re goddamn idiots.”

The silence in the car was deafening. Dex didn’t know if he had overstepped or ruined it all. Then he felt Nursey’s gaze on the side of his face, warm and compassionate, and he couldn’t help but look.

“I’ve got three more questions left. Are you actually an asshole or is it some big act?” 

“Oh, I’m definitely an asshole,” Dex said. “Just like 90% of the time.”

“You like me, Poindexter,” Nursey said, his lips spreading wide. He shook his head a few times, almost in disbelief though he managed for it to still look cocky.

“And yet you say four words and I’m filled with rage. How do you make me want to argue with you at the end of every conversation?”

Nursey shrugged. “It’s a gift. I’m talented in most things I do. You’re down to three questions now, too.”

“Why’d you agree to drive me?” Dex asked.

Nursey paused, looking out the window. "I've never been on a road trip, remember?" 

"Yeah, but like... why did you agree to drive me? You weren't nervous this whole thing was going to blow up, or were you so certain it would all be chill." 

Nursey huffed out a small laugh as he looked at his hands in his lap. When he looked back up, his face was pained. “Let's just pass this question."

"Oh, come on. What?” Dex asked. He sputtered, tightening his hands on the wheel as he checked back and forth from the road to Nursey. “You can’t possibly lose over this question.”

“Dex, pass,” Nursey said. His voice ended the argument. “It’s stupid, honestly.”

“Guess you’ll have to survive the last few hours without any games then,” Dex said as if trying to crack a joke. It fell flat.

When they passed the Minnesota border, Nursey made them pull to the side of the road.

“Chowder will want a picture! It’ll make him so happy.”

“Bitty will want one just to prove this is real,” Dex said.

They took a selfie in front of the sign, cheeks pressed together. It was wild how close to being over this whole dream was.

The closer they got to the family reunion, the more Dex’s heart rate increased. This was his family, it shouldn’t be strange or high pressure, but he loved them. He was coming off of a handful of strange days that made him realize feelings he had been happier not knowing, and now he was with his object of affection in front of every extended family member his dad’s lineage provided.

“You really think they’ll like me?” Nursey asked as he attempted to fix the wildness his hair had taken on. “I know I’m cool, but I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.”

“Cross my heart,” Dex said. “They’re going to love you. I already feel pissed about it.”

Nursey rolled his eyes. “Love you, too.”

When they pulled into the park where the daily events were taking place, his whole family was visible out on the lawn. His siblings, his parents, even his aunts and uncles and cousins. He could only imagine what Nursey thought about so many redheads in such close proximity.

“That’s…” Nursey trailed off.

“A lot of Poindexters,” he finished for him. He reached out and clapped Nursey’s shoulder before taking a deep breath and exiting. It only took a handful of steps before his youngest sister spotted him and sprinted across the lawn, running full on into his arms.

“Hello to you, too Izzie,” he said. His chuckle was full and happy, though. All those hours in the car, all those minutes of emotional turmoil, were worth it to see his sister roll her big, green eyes and stick out her tongue at him with love.

“You’re late. I had to deal with Uncle Wilbur’s stupid jokes all by myself.”

Dex gasped. “How dare I.”

She nodded. “Yep. Who’s your pretty friend?”

Nursey took his cue, stepping forward and bending down to Izzie’s height as soon as her feet were touching the ground again. “I’m Derek.”

“Derek.” She nodded, taking the information in. “You must like Will a lot if you were willing to drive for so long. He stinks in cars.”

“Hey!”

Nursey laughed. “He doesn’t stink that bad.” When Nursey looked up at him, through his unfairly thick eyelashes, Dex’s heart skipped a beat. “Yeah, I like him a lot.”

Izzie reached out to grasp his hand. “Come meet everyone else.”

And they followed.

Dex was interrogated by his mother, who was well-meaning but far too overbearing.

“Do you like him? I know I’m new to this whole gay son thing, but is this a more than friends thing?”

Whatever Dex’s face must have done, it must have looked rather pathetic because his mother held up her hands and jokingly stepped backward.

“Okay, okay.”

“I can’t…” He sighed. “Feelings suck. ”

“Oh, dear,” she said, patting his shoulder lovingly. “That they do.”

It took an hour of walking around and saying hi to his various relatives before he realized Nursey was no longer with Izzie. His little sister was sitting underneath a tree with their cousin’s dog and a juicebox as she read through a kid’s mystery novel. His parents clearly had given up on parenting, because he never would have been allowed to do that.

“Where’s Nur–” He corrected himself. “Derek?”

Izzie quirked her head, almost as if she knew a secret. “He’s by the car.”

Dex patted her head before making his way back to the car, having to stop and talk to a few more relatives on his way there. It was probably for the best that he hadn’t had to deal with them all last night.

Nursey was in the back of the car, pushing around their remaining belongings to pull out Dex’s duffel bag.

“What are you doing?” Dex asked.

When he looked up, Nursey quirked his head. Then he pulled out the duffel bag. “You’ll need your stuff.”

“And where are you going?” Dex asked.

“Well…” Nursey’s eyebrows crashed together. “Home?”

“Hold up.” Dex paused, attempting to keep his face painfully blank. “You drove me halfway across the country and legitimately thought I was going to just ask you to turn around? And drive all of it back yourself?”

Nursey shrugged.

“You’re so dumb,” he said. “I… You should stay Nursey. I mean, even if you don’t want to hang out with my family, which I totally get, you should at least stay. We can drive back on Sunday. I’d never make you just leave .”

“I was your ride,” Nursey said. “I got you here.”

Dex waited for him to continue, certain that couldn’t be the end of his thought, but when Nursey didn’t say any more his hands clenched at his sides. He could feel his ears grow warm.

“Dude, you were my ride, but you’re my friend. How many times am I going to have to tell you I care about you before it actually sticks? I have told you how much I hate feelings, right? Because it’s a lot, I really can’t have this conversation that many more times.”

Nursey brought a hand up to the bridge of his nose before running a hand over his face. “I’m your friend, and I’m glad, but I don’t…” He threw his hands up, frustrated, and Dex couldn’t piece together in the least why. “God, Dex, ask me again.”

“What?” His mind whirred at what he could be talking about.

“The question I passed. The one that made me lose. Ask it again.”

“Oh,” Dex said. He wish he could piece together where this was going. “Why’d you drive me?”

Nursey took a step forward. “I drove you because against my better judgement, I like you. Like more than friends like you, which is partially why you drive me so fucking nuts. And yeah, it wasn’t like there was anything to go home to, but I also thought that maybe being in a car would help you get to know me. Which it did, but you still like me as a friend, which is totally okay and your prerogative, but—”

“Shut up,” Dex said, holding up a hand to pause the conversation. His heart was racing, his palms sweating, and he was trying so hard to swallow and stop staring like an idiot so he could say what he needed to say. “We’re both dumb." 

One of Nursey’s eyebrows raised precariously high on his forehead, and Dex took a deep breath.

“I like – you know what? Words suck. Fuck it,” Dex said, and then he was reaching out and grabbing onto Nursey’s upper arm.

He pulled him closer, taking a step to bridge the gap entirely, and brought his lips to Nursey’s. The response was immediate, the two moving their lips in tandem, and before Dex could comprehend everything that was happening, Nursey had him pushed against the back of the car.

Dex reached a hand up to Nursey’s neck and tried desperately to bring them closer. He couldn’t handle all the space, all the distance. All he wanted was for them to be as flush as possible. To eliminate all the space and misconceptions that had held them apart for a year.

It wasn’t until Nursey had bit down onto his lip and Dex groaned that he remembered where exactly he was.

“Fuck,” Dex said as he pulled back, panting and certainly red. “My family is like right there. And all of it.”

“Sorry, just...you,” Nursey said, though he sounded the furthest from sorry. His smirk looked pretty satisfied, as well.

Dex couldn’t believe Nursey had kissed him back, had liked him back, and the whole thing was surreal in the best way. The same way the last few days had been surreal. He just hoped he could keep this all together, because kissing Nursey had made his whole body feel as if it was on fire.

He had never felt like that before.

“Turns out kissing you doesn’t make you any less irritating,” Dex said, but his lips were pulled into a full smile.

Nursey smiled, reaching his hands out to adjust Dex’s flannel. “You still like like me, so guess the joke’s on you.”

Dex reached out again and pulled him into another kiss. All he wished was that it was a night earlier so they had a motel room alone, a bed they shared, and no one around to stop or walk in on them. God, their timing was always a little screwed.

“You’re going to stay, right?” Dex asked.

“I’m going to stay,” Nursey said with a nod.

“Good.” And when Nursey kissed him again, he kissed back. Just because he wanted to. Just because he could.

“So, I get to drive you back, huh?” Nursey said as he sat behind the wheel. They had slept in because they could. It wasn’t as if they were in a time crunch to get back to the east coast. 

“I’m sure I can find someone else,” Dex grumbled. An unwilling smile came to his lips when Nursey bent forward to give him a kiss on the shoulder.

“Nah, dude, you’re mine. In like a super progressive, non-possessive way, but you get it.”

Dex nodded. “Yeah, I do.” He reached out and interlaced their fingers. “Come on, open roads are waiting. Only so many hours in the day. And on second thought, we’re not holding hands while you drive. That just seems dangerous.”

Nursey sighed dramatically as he looked at Dex with affection. “Some things never change.”

When Dex turned forward, the car bursting to life, he figured maybe that was true. But there were big, lovely, great things that had changed. He looked at Nursey with his energy and love and annoying tendencies. Maybe emotions weren’t that bad after all, even if he was still shit at expressing them.

He felt at his lips that were swollen from making out in the bathroom last night after everyone else had gone to bed. “Let’s go, Nurse.” 

They had 1,500 miles ahead of them. A lot could happen. A lot already had.

“As you wish, Poindexter.”