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Part 13 of Aureate August 2018
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Aureate August 2018
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2018-08-14
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Weighed with Love

Summary:

"Please don't say 'shot at' and 'blown up' in the same sentence as 'day to day activities'," Lucy requested.

Or, sometimes you need to have a household discussion about safety.

Notes:

Aureate August 2018 day 13: Ballast - heavy material placed low in a vessel to provide stability

Work Text:

“Agent Danvers, aren’t you forgetting something?” Lucy’s voice held that tone of command that Alex loved, but underneath it there was a tinge of anger she wouldn’t have recognized if they hadn’t known each other so well, but because she did recognize it she was wary as she turned towards where Lucy was standing.

Her blank, slightly questioning expression was enough to let Lucy know that no, she didn’t know what she was forgetting and she saw Lucy make a visible effort not to roll her eyes.

“Helmet, Agent Danvers. Hel. Met.” Lucy broke the word into its distinct syllables as she stressed the reminder and Alex fought not to blush as she went back to the gear pile and grabbed hers from where lay and put it on, flashing Lucy a thumbs up and heading towards the door where the rest of her team waited.

She was well aware that wouldn’t be the end of the discussion, but she and Lucy had rules about professionalism and how they interacted at work, so she took a moment in the van to think about that worried, angry glint in Lucy’s eyes and then pushed it to the back of her mind and focused on the mission.

It was later, after the fighting had stopped and the ash settled out, after a shower and meal and time spent cuddling on the couch with her girls that Lucy brought it up, almost casually, breaking the quiet that had settled over the room as the three of them were sprawled around reading. She simply set down her book and said into the silence, “So I’d like to have a household discussion about safety.”

Alex, who’d been sprawled on her back on the floor holding her magazine above her face to read just let it fall down and cover her face. Maggie looked up curiously and on seeing Alex’s reaction asked, “What did Alex do?”

“Hey!” Alex said indignantly, her voice muffled by the magazine, “not everything is my fault.”

“And whose fault is it this time?” Maggie asked knowingly.

“Mine.” Alex admitted begrudgingly. She pulled the magazine off her face and sat up so she could see them both properly. “I thought you might forget.” She said to Lucy.

“Not a chance.” Lucy was irritated but no longer angry, which Alex took as a good sign. All of them were sitting up now, sitting so they could see each other’s faces and ready for discussion.

Maggie looked curiously at them both and Lucy nodded towards Alex who sighed and admitted, “I almost forgot my helmet today.”

“Not almost,” corrected Lucy, “Did forget your helmet, again, until I reminded you, again .”

Alex forced herself not to look away from Lucy’s worry and exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” The apology was sincere, not because she cared about the helmet, but because right now, looking at Lucy’s face, knowing that Maggie’s face looked the same, she hurt inside knowing that the idea of her getting hurt caused them pain, the same way the idea of anything happening to one of them hurt her, and she was truly sorry for hurting them that way.

“I see your life flash before my eyes every time you do that.” Lucy whispered, her eyes closing for a moment on the imagined pain of that kind of loss, and Alex moved towards her as she continued speaking. “I just imagine you being brought back in dead or injured because of something that could have been prevented by a basic piece of safety gear. We can’t stop everything, and there are all kinds of risks we can’t predict, but we can at least try to avoid the ones we can.”

Alex reached her chair and knelt, wrapping her arms around Lucy. Maggie came over and joined them, sitting on the arm of the chair and leaning over to embrace them both. The discussion didn’t end there, but it was honest and Alex vowed to try.

After that, when she went out she made an honest effort to remember the helmet, reinforced by the happy smile she got whenever Lucy saw her, and the occasional “looking good, Agent Danvers” that went with the smile and buoyed her spirits.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

There are certain police procedures that are absolutely vital to following, even if they take a moment out of chasing down a suspect, even if they might mean losing someone, you do them, because doing them can sometimes make the difference between going home at the end of the day or not.

Maggie didn’t follow procedure. She ran right after her suspect, not stopping to call it in, not letting anyone know where she was, and she had cause to regret it. The fight that ensued had ended with the suspect armed and her not and he pointed the gun at her and she knew this was it.

Maggie saw her life flashing before her eyes and had a heart stopping moment where she realized she might die and all she could think about was Alex and Lucy. She shut her eyes when the gun went off, sure that this was the end, but nothing hit her and when she opened her eyes a moment later to find Kara standing between her and the suspect, the bullet having harmlessly bounced off her, and very shortly after that the suspect was in custody, Maggie was being looked over by the paramedics, and Lucy and Alex were running onto the scene.

The three of them hugged each other like they hadn’t seen each other in months and then Alex terrorized the paramedics for details of Maggie’s injuries, which were thankfully all minor, and Lucy managed to deal with enough of the paperwork to get them out of there and headed home.

Home, where they showered and Alex tended to Maggie’s cuts more lovingly than any paramedic would, peppering soft kisses along bruises while Lucy simply held Maggie in her arms and watched them both. Then they bundled together into bed with Maggie in the middle so Alex and Lucy could both hold and touch her and reassure themselves that it was alright, she was there and whole and alive. Eventually they turned to discussing what happened and Maggie explained, including her violation, which made them both tighten their hold around her.

“If Kara hadn’t managed to find you in time--” Alex broke off, her throat closing up around the sad words. She cleared her throat and said emphatically, “We can be brave without being stupid!”

“Alex!” Lucy admonished, but Maggie cut her off.

“I know. It’s alright, Luce, I know what she means. I get it, and I’m sorry. I won’t do that again, I promise.” She said the words with all sincerity, the terror of that moment fresh in her mind and knew deep inside that it had been just as terrifying for them, if not more so, since they’d have had to live with the aftermath of her choices if she had not.

It was a while before any of them were calm enough to sleep, but Maggie went into the next day, full of paperwork and follow ups with a determination to do things the right way, the safest way, so she’d always go home to her girls.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Where’s Lucy?” Kara asked, sprawled out on their couch while Maggie sat in Lucy’s preferred armchair with Alex cuddled on her lap, the TV playing a movie that none of them were really paying attention to, since actually watching the movies on girls’ night was hardly the point anymore. They were just enjoying talking and being together.

“She had some business dinner,” Alex commented absently, glancing towards the snacks on the table and calculating if anything would need a refill now or in five minutes after Kara had demolished more of it.

“Oh? The one with her father?” Kara asked innocently as she reached for the container piled high with at least two bags of popcorn in it.

“What?!” Alex and Maggie said at once, both sitting up so fast that Alex nearly slid off Maggie’s lap to the floor. Kara started and nearly knocked over the popcorn container, catching it and righting it without a spill only because she had superpowers to help her.

Kara looked at them in confusion. "There was a dinner thing tonight with some of the brass; I heard Lucy and J'onn talking about it earlier today. General Lane was supposed to be there."

"Where?" Maggie and Alex demanded in unison.

"Guys, what's going on?" Kara was baffled. "I know you don't like the man, heck, I don't like the man, but that's hardly--" Alex cut her off.

"Kara, I love you, I promise one of us will explain later, but please, where is she?" Her tone was urgent enough to get through Kara's confusion and she stopped to listen, expanding her senses and trying to pinpoint where Lucy was for them. Once they had a location, they grabbed jackets and were out the door, leaving Kara still confused but assured that this was not life or death, and yes, she had their permission to finish all the snacks.

It was a short, tense drive but as they pulled up to the restaurant, their timing could not have been more perfect because Lucy was walking out. Her posture was stiff and formal and it expressed no emotion at all, which told Alex and Maggie all they needed to know about how the dinner had gone. Alex pulled up to the curb in front of her, startling her as the vehicle stopped and Maggie rolled her window down.

"Hey, pretty lady, want a ride?" Maggie smiled reassuringly and some of the tension left Lucy's frame.

"How did you know?" She asked, climbing into the back seat.

"A little birdie told us," Alex said, pulling away from the curb and joining the regular flow of traffic. "You should know there's probably a sugared up Kryptonian on our couch still."

Lucy nodded an acknowledgement as she leaned forward to wrap her arms around Maggie in the front passenger seat. "I should have told you."

"Yeah," Maggie nodded in agreement, "we probably couldn't have gone with you, but we'd have known at least and had more time to prepare. There could have been a bubble bath and wine waiting at home instead of a wired little sister. Hey, Alex, pull over here, please." Maggie indicated a lighted parking lot and Alex obligingly pulled over, giving Maggie time to hop out of the front and into the back with Lucy. Instead of continuing to drive, Alex checked to make sure the area was secure, or at least had no obvious threats and then locked the doors and climbed over the seats into the back to join them.

They held Lucy for a time sandwiched between them. She didn't cry or scream or vent, but they could tell simply being held was allowing her to bleed off some of the negative energy the encounter with her father had brought on. She just was held and loved by them, exactly as she was with no expectations to be anything else and that was enough.

Eventually she sighed and turned her head to kiss first Maggie and then Alex, soft and easy, gentle kisses of thank you and quipped, "if I'd told you we could probably be having car sex right now."

They both chuckled, the comment bringing back memories of previous attempts.

"Maybe in a van," Alex said as she climbed her way back to the driver's seat. "Or one of the really big SUVs. Otherwise, I don't think any of us other than you are quite that able for the contortions necessary."

"Maggie's getting there." Lucy responded, sliding into easy banter. "You could always join us in our yoga, Danvers."

"I could," Alex agreed as she pulled out into traffic, "and I could join Kara in eating six sticky buns for breakfast. There's so many options out there. Besides, I like watching you two do yoga. Hard to watch if I'm doing it too."

They chatted and bantered their way back to the apartment and through the interactions with Kara, who, they found out, had run out of snacks and gone to get more while she waited, which included a freezer partially full of ice cream, and they finished a movie and eventually Kara, sensing their need for quiet had gone out to do one last save before going home. (She promised she would text Alex when she was home safe and would not forget this time, seriously, Alex, she remembered what happened last time she forgot, and even Eliza had agreed that was an overreaction, but no, really, she would remember.)

The apartment was quiet after she left, while they all worked their way through their evening routines and towards bed, finally snuggling together under the covers when Alex broke the silence with a quiet, "so we need to have a household discussion about safety."

Lucy and Maggie looked over at her in confusion for a moment before Maggie tentatively asked, "Is this you telling on yourself for something?"

"What? No!" Alex mock glared at her and stuck out her tongue. "No, we need to talk about emotional safety. I know we have dangerous jobs and all that, but part of being safe is talking about the stuff that doesn't involve getting shot at or blown up or concussed or any of our usual day to day activities."

"Please don't say 'shot at' and 'blown up' in the same sentence as 'day to day activities'," Lucy requested seriously, to which Alex nodded an acknowledgement.

"You both know I've been talking to the DEO therapist," Lucy and Maggie nodded, "and I've come to realize that the things that end up hurting us most in the long run are the things we don't talk about it. It's okay to be hurting, it's okay to have to deal with an emotionally painful situation, but we have to talk about it too, to each other, to a friend, to a therapist, to someone. And maybe not go running off to dinners with jackass parents without having a fallout plan in place?" The look she gave Lucy was pleading, even as her hand was running reassuringly up and down Lucy's arm.

"That's going to take time," Lucy said slowly.

"We've got time," Maggie said encouragingly. "We can work up to it."

"Just," Alex added, "this stuff hurts us too. You going to dinner with him is like watching you go in front of a firing squad or throw yourself in a lion's den. We know you're going to get hurt and a lot of it's going to be unavoidable, but we'd like to know so we can do whatever we can to help."

Maggie nodded her agreement, her head soft against Lucy's shoulder.

"Okay," Lucy agreed, letting the word out slowly. "That's fair. I mean, if you can wear a helmet," she gave Alex a squeeze, "and you can follow procedure," she tilted her head to press against Maggie's, "then I can tell you guys when I'm seeing the General."

"Okay," Alex echoed, "thank you." She got up on her elbows so she could kiss Lucy and then lean over Lucy to kiss Maggie.

They settled into sleep, tangled up in each other's arms, holding each other down and together, safe and loved all through the night.

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