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Reigen forced himself to take another bite, feeling guilty that he wasn't going to be able to finish. He'd been staying with Serizawa for a little more than a week, thoroughly over his fever with solid rest and regular meals and the silly man had wanted to take him out for an actual date. Circumstance dictated they do this… whatever it was in a somewhat roundabout way, but it was as if they'd only needed each other's permission to fall directly, deeply into it. Reigen set down his chopsticks for a break. He couldn't stop himself from staring at the man in front of him, still unable to fully accept that this could be anything real. Serizawa caught him, blush coloring his face, and smiled shyly, hooking a finger under Reigen’s chin and drawing him close to press a breathless kiss to his lips. It was one of his favorite things about this, it was effortless compared to everything else in his life. Serizawa read him so well there was no pressure and he was more than happy to let him take the lead. He didn't have to lie or pretend because he already knew everything somehow. Of course, it could also be that Reigen had no defense for any of this. The number of meaningful relationships he'd formed was less than the number of public restrooms he'd found himself screaming in.
“Let's pack this up, you don't have to finish it now.”
“No, it's okay, I can.” Serizawa brushed his thumb over his cheek.
“But you don't have to.” Another kiss, too kind, and Reigen had to push the doubt forcibly out of his mind. There was never any have to with this man, just patience Reigen knew he must try daily. “You’ll make yourself sick.” He looked down at his plate, Serizawa had picked the perfect place, the food was excellent, he just couldn't manage it. He'd barely eaten half and he should've stopped a quarter ago, still too used to one instant meal a day.
“Yeah,” he initiated another kiss, “this was perfect, thank you.”
Reigen curled up on the bed, not even bothering to take off his suit, too sick to his stomach. It didn't make sense why he'd forced himself to eat quite so much knowing full well from past experience he wouldn't be able to handle it. Serizawa padded in on soft feet and laid next to him, pulling him into his chest.
“Feeling okay?” Reigen nodded, it was only half a lie, Serizawa had stopped him before he could really do any damage. He'd be fine.
“Jus’ not used to it yet.” He mumbled, grateful for Serizawa’s broad hand on his back, it gave him something else to focus on. “You're probably wondering how I even made it this far into adulthood.”
“Only sometimes.” Serizawa chuckled, tugging the smaller man closer, “I don't really have any room to talk, so I wouldn't worry about it.” Reigen tensed and the esper pressed soft kisses into his hair, on the skin he could reach, warm from the sake. “Sorry, that was in poor taste.” It wasn't his fault, Reigen was often worried he was taking advantage of Serizawa for that very reason, that he didn't know any better, that he was here, folded into a warm embrace out of sympathy instead of anything true. Serizawa would get sick of him soon, he was always more trouble than he was worth. An ache blossomed, rooting deep in his chest, that had nothing to do with tonight's mistake.
“Are you happy with this?” He whispered, hoping immediately afterwards that it had been muffled enough Serizawa hadn't heard it, gripping the front of the man's shirt almost desperately. Alcohol always gave him a loose tongue and dulled its silver. A large palm brushed his hair back, encouraging him to look into Serizawa’s face and he pressed his forehead to his own, whispering back just as quietly:
“So happy, Arataka.” Reigen captured his mouth with his own, frantic, pouring all his insecurities into it, willing himself to just let them go, to trust this was real and free, and Serizawa responded in kind, breaking it off only when neither had enough breath to continue. The heady rush faded and left behind fatigue and his sore stomach. Serizawa pulled away, disentangling Reigen's fingers. “I’ll be right back, don't worry.” He cupped his face with one hand. “You don't want to sleep in your suit.” Reigen sat up, wrapping one arm around his middle and wincing; he hadn't been very smart today. “Hey, let me help.”
“Mm.” With Serizawa’s assistance he shrugged out of his jacket and dress shirt, feeling immediately better as the oversized sleepwear settled over his shoulders.
“We can get you something that fits if you want.” Reigen shook his head firmly and Serizawa laughed, handing over the pajama pants. “Okay.”
A handful of minutes later found them comfortably close, Serizawa carding slow fingers through Reigen’s hair and down his neck, trying to soothe him to sleep. “You can trust this, you know.” He was speaking, low and quiet, over his head where it was tucked under his chin, hand still moving, and Reigen kept his eyes shut, absorbing the words, “I know it feels like you can't.” A gentle kiss on the top of his head, “and this is still new.” Tears slipped past his closed eyelids. “But I’m going to keep showing you.”