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Shouto was slowly walking away from the school’s entrance hall. There was no one in front of him so he felt safe looking up at the sky, still walking.
It had been a nice, warm day. Beautiful, really. Shouto felt the air rush around his face, more warm than cold and suddenly stopped, taking a deep breath. Sometimes he wished he’d gone to a hero school outside Tokyo, one that would let him finally move out of the house he shared with his father.
He didn’t want to leave school and have to deal with him. Over the last few years Shouto barely replied to his questions with anything but a grunt and while his father obviously hated the disrespect, he didn’t usually do anything more than yell. There was a part of Shouto that wanted him to raise his hand again just so he’d have a good excuse to hit back.
Shouto wondered if his father felt that way too. If whenever he was telling Shouto he had to improve to defeat All Might, he was afraid that Shouto would one day be strong enough to take him on and win.
“Todoroki,” he heard behind him and Shouto quickly opened his eyes and turned around, though he didn’t make any other movement to show his surprise.
It was his partner in the villain vs hero exercise who had spoken.
“Shouji,” Todoroki replied and Shouji nodded, though he was using the highest tentacle on his right arm to speak.
“I’m glad I caught you before you left.”
Shouto inclined his head to the right, not questioning him with words, but waiting for him to say whatever he wanted to say.
Shouji didn’t seem perturbed by the silence. “I just wanted to tell you that I was very impressed by your quirk.”
“Oh,” Shouto said. This wasn’t the first time he’d heard that but usually there was more… Awe, perhaps. Jealousy sometimes. But Shouji spoke like he was simply stating a fact. “Thank you,” he finally replied, when the pause was becoming too rude to sustain. “I’m sorry that I didn’t give you more of a chance to show off.”
Shouji shrugged and at the time Shouto hadn’t paid him that much attention, thinking that Shouji was just showing off everything he could do with his tentacles but now he wondered why he didn’t speak with the mouth on his face. And where was Shouto supposed to look at? His face or his mouth? “It’s okay,” Shouji continued, stopping Shouto’s mind from continuing to wonder about his quirk, and making him lower his eyes from Shouji’s face to the mouth speaking. “There will be other opportunities. With the way they set up the exercise… Your approach really was the best.”
“Thank you,” Shouto said again even though he wasn’t entirely sure that was the appropriate response. Yet, to say something like “you’re right” would undoubtfully be ruder. Shouto knew he wasn’t the best with social situations, yet for some reason he didn’t want to mess this up.
Shouji seemed like a really nice person. Shouto wasn’t used to hanging out with them anymore.
“Are you walking home?” Shouji asked, moving so that he was now standing beside Shouto, who had to do a quarter of a turn to keep him in sight.
“No, I’m being picked up.”
“Oh,” Shouji said and turned the mouth into an eye. After a pause, it went back to being a mouth. “Your parents must be really nice.”
“Not really,” Shouto immediately countered. “My father just wants to control where I am.”
“Oh,” Shouji said again and this time he frowned. “I’m sorry.”
Shouto shrugged. It was what it was.
“Well, can I accompany you to the car?” Shouji asked and Shouto couldn’t help but to raise his eyebrows at that.
“You don’t have to. It’s right around the corner.”
Shoji shrugged, “I want to.”
For that, Shouto didn’t really have a response to so he turned so that he was back to facing the right way out and started walking, this time a bit faster, to accompany Shouji’s longer strides. Even so, Shouto was pretty sure that Shouji was being polite and not walking at his normal speed.
Shouto had never had anyone walk him home or to his car. In fact, he’d barely had any friends. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do so he kept stealing glances at Shouji, but Shouji was simply walking, like the silence didn’t bother him.
That partly made Shouto relax, while the other wondered if Shouji was regretting his choice, now that he had a chance to notice that the calm aura Shouto exuded and that people seemed to think made him a “cool guy” was really more him not knowing what to say than anything else.
Shouto took a right turn as they left the gate behind them and after a few seconds Shouji said, “I hope we get to team up again.”
Shouto looked to his right, at him, and Shouji was using the tentacle on Shouto’s side to be an eye on top and a mouth in the middle, even though he could still see Shouji’s eyes on his face stealing glances at him. Shouto wondered exactly how he processed getting information from so many places.
“Me too,” Shouto said and he wasn’t lying. Shouji nodded and it was weird, since they’d just met each other, but he made Shouto feel safe. He was big and usually Shouto didn’t like big people but Shouji exuded a calm aura.
Shouto turned back to the path in front of him after his words but could still feel Shouji’s eye on him. Well, it was easy for him to pay attention to two things at once without endangering himself by not paying attention to the sidewalk.
The two of them kept walking in silence for a few more seconds and it didn’t feel awkward anymore. Shouto pointed at a black car parked between two trees. “That’s my ride.”
Shouji stopped besides him and nodded, “I will see you tomorrow, then.”
“I can give you a ride home, if you want,” Shouto offered. It was the first time he was doing it but he’d heard kids in middle school do it to one another if their parents got a chance to pick them up.
Shouto couldn’t be sure, what with the fact that his face was covered, but he was pretty sure his offer made Shouji smile. Even though he wished he could see it, just being a witness to the way his eyes crinkled on the sides from the movement made him happy.
“Thank you, Todoroki, but that’s unnecessary. I don’t live far away so I usually just walk here and back.”
Shouto nodded in response, feeling his cheeks warming up even though there was no reason for him to be embarrassed. Shouji hadn’t maliciously refused his offer. He simply already had his habits.
“I don’t really like cars,” Shouji suddenly said and Shouto turned his eyes back to him, from where he’d turned them down so that he had been looking more at Shouji’s neck than his face. Shouji was staring seriously at him. “They make me feel trapped.”
Shouto exhaled noisily.
“I had a growth spurt when I was still young and there never seems to be enough space in a car for me,” Shouji continued and he didn’t sound ashamed at all, or like he was second-guessing himself for telling a stranger what Shouto would assume was an intimate thing. But then again, maybe most people didn’t hold so much stuff close to their hearts like Shouto did.
“I understand,” Shouto finally said, feeling like he should respond in some way but not knowing exactly how. A simply “I understand” didn’t seem like enough at all but Shouji’s eyes made that crinkling thing again and it felt like Shouto had done something right, even if it was possibly the smallest thing he’d ever done. “I will see you tomorrow,” he said and nodded.
Shouji just nodded back and then he turned around and started walking back the way they’d come. Apparently, his house wasn’t even in the direction Shouto had been leading them. Through the rest of the few steps leading to the car, Shouto couldn’t stop a small smile from stealing onto his face.
.
During lunch, Shouto sat next to whomever was free, though never Bakugou, who usually had the three closest seats next to him empty, unless someone with doubtful self-preservation instincts decided to try their luck, like Kirishima or Kaminari.
Sometimes he ended up next to Iida, who was always talking about what to do next to be the best student. Shouto had learnt to tune him out after the first two times. Yaoyozuru was quite nice to sit next to. She was capable of holding conversations on pretty much any subject and didn’t seem to take it to heart when Shouto only replied with a couple words.
Jirou wanted to talk music, but Shouto never heard much of it so they didn’t have much to discuss, even though he found her nice. Hagakure and Ashido gossiped a lot and since class had started only a couple weeks before, Shouto had no idea how they already knew so much about their class, or even other classes. Then again, Hagakure was invisible. Guessed it wasn’t such a mystery, after all.
Midoriya spent most of lunch stealing glances at Shouto and muttering to himself. Uraraka finally told him that he had a lot of questions about Shouto’s powers but didn’t know how he would feel about them so was trying to stop himself from asking them.
Shouto almost told him he wouldn’t have minded but there was something off-putting about Midoriya. His quirk was… weird and his personality… It weirdly reminded Shouto of All Might. He didn’t know how he felt about that yet so he simply ignored Midoriya when he was muttering about his powers, but engaged when it was about something else. Midoriya really did seem to have an almost unlimited knowledge when it came to the world of pro-heroes.
None of the people he sat with at lunch could be considered friends, Shouto didn’t think, but it was nice. He didn’t often get a chance to sit next to Shouji, since he arrived early and already had people around him, usually Tokoyami, Kouda and Ojiro.
Yet, almost every single day after class finished he accompanied Shouto to his car.
Sometimes they discussed the day’s classes, sometimes they were silent. Either way, Shouto had taken to waiting by the doors if Shouji wasn’t already there.
There was a part of Shouto calling himself weak for relying on someone else like that, even for such a small thing, but he ignored it as hard as he could, recognizing his father’s voice behind it.
Things were going well. Of course, Shouto shouldn’t have been surprised when it all went downhill.
It might have been a novelty for him to fight villains, but it certainly wasn’t his first time going against someone stronger than him, someone who didn’t pull his punches. He hated himself for feeling thankful to his father as he was capable of overpowering almost a dozen villains with a single move.
During the fight to help All Might, the adrenaline kept rushing through his veins and his mind felt calm and empty of all thoughts that didn’t involve keeping in control of his powers, trying to overpower the bad guys and make sure no one got hurt.
But that had been then and this was now and Shouto was sitting in a bench in the entrance hall, staring at his hands and pretending that his breathing wasn’t coming faster than usual.
“Todoroki,” a voice called his name and Shouto looked up to see Shouji’s eyes on him, one of his tentacles having turned into a mouth. It had a down look to it. A bit hysterically, Shouto wondered if that was something Shouji controlled or if it simply appeared like that, mirroring his emotions like he assumed the mouth on his face would. If he even had a mouth. He’d heard rumors.
Right, not the thinking to be doing right now.
Shouji walked slowly towards him, like he was declaring loudly every move he was doing before he did them and Shouto wanted to tell him that it was unnecessary to treat him like a scared animal, but it actually helped. Seeing every movement Shouji made, giving him enough time to freeze him or run away if he wanted.
But this was Shouji so he did neither of those things, instead simply continuing to sit and stare until Shouji was only a few inches in front of him. He slowly crouched until they were at eye level.
“How do you feel?” A different mouth asked and Shouto gave it a quick glance, turning back to Shouji’s eyes. He still hadn’t quite figured out where he was supposed to look when talking to Shouji, so usually he just kept glancing around.
Shouto clenched his jaw. How did he feel?
He felt scared but that wasn’t something he was about to announce, even to someone he was close to, so he kept silent. Shouji moved his left hand up – the actual hand – slowly, once again broadcasting his movements and Shouto’s eyes followed the movement, not being surprised when it landed on the back of his neck. Shouji simply left his hand there, not caressing it or anything, just letting the weight create some pressure.
Of course, Shouji being Shouji the rest of his arm – wing? – cut off all Shouto’s sight from the right. He was pretty sure he was supposed to hate that, but instead it made him feel safe. Like right there, right then, it was just the two of them and no villain was coming.
He didn’t want the feeling to go away so also moving slowly, he grabbed onto Shouji’s other wrist and put his hand on top of the other on the back of his neck. Then he leaned his head down until the only light coming in was from above, but with the way he was staring down, barely anything could be seen.
Shouto’s breathing went back to normal, though he had no idea how long it took. Finally, he moved his head up and Shouji took his hands away. He immediately missed the touch but didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry,” he forced the words out. “You were there too, I shouldn’t be-“
“Stop,” Shouji said and the sound came from his right, but this time Shouto didn’t look away from his eyes. They looked concerned and kind and Shouto never wanted to look away. “I’m scared too.”
Not was but I am and Shouto took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
“We want to be heroes. We’re going to have to deal with villain attacks on a regular basis,” he said and honestly didn’t know who he was trying to convince: Shouji or himself.
“It wasn’t supposed to have been like that,” Shouji interrupted and his voice sounded soft and Shouto was pretty sure it was supposed to feel weird, hearing the voice coming from a different side and not seeing Shouji’s hidden mouth move but it didn’t. It was just Shouji. “No one is expecting us to be alright.”
Shouto took another deep breath, once again slowly letting it out.
Shouji stood back up and stretched, making several bones around his body make a crack sound. He probably did have more bones than most humans, after all.
He was just starting to tell himself that he was going to be perfectly fine alone when Shouji sat next to him. Shouto turned to him and Shouji’s eyes were crinkled. He was smiling. It made Shouto smile back.
Eventually, he turned back to the front, staring at the lockers in front of him, but he also leaned his weight against Shouji. Since he was so much taller their shoulders didn’t touch, instead he was just leaning against his upper arm. It felt nice.
.
Shouto felt different after the villain attack. He wasn’t the only one, he knew. Half the class kept jumping at strange noises and then laughing loudly about it, while the other half had gone quieter. Yaoyozuru spent even more time than usual studying; usually the other girls had to force her away from the classroom to eat. It hadn’t taken long for Midoriya to go back to class and Shouto was starting to form a theory on why exactly he was so close to All Might and had gone to help him in those moments, when there should have been no reason for it.
Shouji spent more time around him, waiting for him to go to lunch and the people that ate with him started doing the same and suddenly Shouto had a lunch group. Ojiro was the one that spoke the most, which was funny when in comparison to other people in the class he could be considered one of the quietest.
Shouto had never actually heard Kouda speak but even so they were perfectly able to maintain a conversation. His presence was just as calm as Shouji’s, though in a different way. Tokoyami was probably the most interesting of the group.
Shouto hadn’t yet had a chance to fight against Dark Shadow, but he’d seen him around during quirk practice and sometimes even outside it.
“He doesn’t like being inside for too long,” were Tokoyami’s words about it and he rolled his eyes saying it, but the fond tone he used couldn’t be masked.
“I wanna make friends too,” Dark Shadow said and he spoke in a kind of sing-song voice. He turned his eyes to Tokoyami and Shouto just held his fork as he studied their interaction. “Are you afraid they’re going to like me better, Fumi?”
Tokoyami rolled his eyes again, “I haven’t seen either of them suffer such a serious accident, so I’m going to go with no.”
At that, Dark Shadow honestly put his tongue out. Shouto couldn’t help it; he laughed.
Everyone around him went quiet after that and even some of the other people in the table.
“What?” He said, still with a smile playing around his face.
“They’re speechless because of your beauty, Shou,” Dark Shadow said and Shouto felt his face immediately go red.
Tokoyami let out a breath, “Dark Shadow, stop embarrassing others and don’t give them nicknames like that. I’m sorry for his behavior, Todoroki,” he said, this time looking at Shouto.
“It’s okay,” he replied, “I was just… surprised.”
“See? Shou likes me,” Dark Shadow said and Tokoyami went back to arguing with him. Shouto kept staring at them, but he could feel someone’s eyes still studying him. He didn’t have to look to know it was Shouji. It stopped his blush from completely disappearing but he tried to ignore it. It wasn’t a bad feeling, just… unusual.
.
Shouto and Shouji were slowly walking towards the car when Shouji turned one of the tentacles closest to him into a mouth and said, “Dark Shadow was right, you know.”
“About what?” Shouto asked, a bit amused because Dark Shadow had spouted a lot of things during lunch, most of it nonsense.
“You do have a beautiful laugh,” was what Shouji said and his eyes were on Shouto and he could feel himself blush again.
“Oh,” was the only thing that came out since he didn’t know how to respond.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Shouji immediately said and Shouto turned his eyes to the mouth, which looked kind of sad.
It was to it that he said, “you didn’t. I was just… surprised.”
Shouji’s mouth seemed to frown at that, and then relaxed into a line. Shouto kept his eyes on it. Shouji’s mouth could be just as expressive as his eyes, though he felt safer looking at his mouth since it couldn’t study him back. Of course, he knew that didn’t mean Shouji didn’t still have his eyes on him but one could pretend.
“You shouldn’t be,” Shouji said and this time Shouto turned to look at his eyes. Shouji was unblinkingly staring at him. “You deserve to hear compliments.”
Shouto… he didn’t have an answer to that so he turned back to the front. Shouji didn’t seem to require a response, simply continuing to walk besides Shouto in silence.
Shouto was aware that he was somewhat lacking when it came to social situations and following the correct cues but Shouji just… well, he simply blundered past them and said what he wanted.
It was only when they could see the car on the other side of the street that Shouto stopped and turned to Shouji, who did the same and stared at Shouto, apparently perfectly willing to wait him in silence. Shouto wondered how long exactly it would take for Shouji to get bored and walk away; something told him it wouldn’t be that easy.
“Let’s do our best in the sports festival,” Shouto said and Shouji’s eyes crinkled on a smile.
Shouji nodded, “let’s.”
Shouto sent him one last smile and then after looking both ways, ran across the street, entering the back of the car with a mumbled, “’afternoon.”
The driver – they kept changing – said something in return but Shouto was too busy staring at Shouji to really pay attention. Shouji saw him staring and waved at him. Shouto waved back, still smiling.
.
Shouto was leaning against the wall next to trainer’s room 2. He’d previously been sitting inside, elbows on the table, head on his hands, but one of the staff members had told him they had to clean and if he could please leave so he had and his plan truly had been not to just leave the room, but the school.
Yet, that hadn’t happened. He’d closed the door behind him and after two steps had simply leaned against the wall next to the door.
He didn’t want to go home and deal with his father.
“Todoroki,” Shouji said and Shouto immediately turned to him, knowing that both his eyes were red-rimmed, even though he’d been keeping the tears at bay for hours.
Shouji approached him slowly and Shouto was reminded of all the times Shouji had done that to him. That he’d seen that he was clearly in emotional turmoil and tried his best to act as calmly and slowly as possible. He never left until Shouto told him he was okay.
“Do you want to go get ice cream?” Shouji asked when he was in front of him and Shouto frowned, taken by surprise.
“What?”
Shouji shrugged, “it’s been a hot day. Besides, I want some commiserating ice cream.”
Shouto remembered that Shouji hadn’t made it to the final challenge of the day, which he’d of course noticed at the time, but had been a bit too busy what with the fact that his father was there and kept pushing and pushing for what he wanted and then there was Midoriya and…
He took a deep breath and pushed off the wall. “Ice cream sounds great.”
Shouji’s eyes smiled and he waited until Shouto had reached him before turning and starting to walk. As per usual, his rhythm was slow enough that Shouto didn’t have to jog to keep up.
“What you did with Asui and Mineta was pretty cool,” he said when they’d left the dimness of the corridor behind.
Shouji looked at him sideways but didn’t say anything immediately. Shouto wondered if he thought he was being mocked, since they had finished with zero points but he trusted Shouji enough to know that he would never say anything if he didn’t mean it.
“Thank you,” Shouji finally said. “It was Mineta’s idea.”
“You’re a strong companion to have,” Shouto offered and Shouji smiled at him.
“You had a good team too.”
Shouto nodded, “I went to Yaoyozuru since I think her quirk is handy to have in whatever situation but I was surprised when Kaminari and Iida approached me. Especially Iida.”
“You thought he would be with Midoriya and Uraraka?” Shouji asked and Shouto nodded. “I think this sports festival was a good remainder that as much as we can be friends with one another, in the end we’re all fighting for the same thing: the attention of the pros.”
“Yes,” Shouto said and then, because he didn’t want to keep the words trapped inside his mind to haunt him when he was alone, continued with, “I wish I had less attention from one.”
They were finally outside the building and Shouji had continued to lead the way, knowing the area better.
“Your father is Endeavour,” Shouji said and Shouto nodded, even though it wasn’t a question. It took several seconds but Shoto finally raised his eyes from where he’d lowered them from Shouiji’s neck to his eyes. His brows were furred; he seemed deep in thought.
Shouto waited him out. Now that he had put it out there, he wanted to say something more about it but he didn’t know where to start so he’d rather leave the ball in Shouji’s hands.
Suddenly Shouji stopped and when Shoto did as well, turning to him, he squeezed Shoto’s arm, using that same one to turn one of his tentacles into a mouth, though Shoto just looked at his eyes. “I’m sorry he wasn’t a good father to you.”
Shoto opened his mouth and he felt himself really, really close to just breaking down. No one had ever said that to him, even if it was obvious that they felt it. Midoriya had, after all, broken his body to tell Shouto that he was so much more than his blood.
Yet, hearing it this way… It meant a lot.
“I don’t want to cry in public,” he forced the words out and Shouji moved the hand on his arm to his hand, interlocking their fingers and then leading them away.
“My tentacles come from my father though he only has two pairs and not three as me. He can also turn them into different body parts but he can’t fly. My mom has wings so I think that’s why I can do it, though not like her. Mostly I just float through the air. Before today I hadn’t done it at such high altitude. I wonder what UA will do when they no longer have Recovery Girl; they make their exercises far too dangerous.”
Shouto appreciated Shouji changing the subject and he really tried to pay attention, wanting to guard inside himself these little snippets about Shouji that he’d never heard before but it was hard to do when he couldn’t stop noticing how the hand Shouji was holding kept getting warmer and warmer, even though it was his right one.
They finally reached the ice cream parlor, which announced that they made their ice creams Italian style. Shouto didn’t know how that differentiated from every other ice cream he had ever tasted before, but he went along with it.
It was only as Shouji opened the door that he let go of Shouto’s hand, who had to stop himself from grabbing onto him again.
“What’s your favorite flavor?” Shoji asked, turning one hand into an eye and another into a mouth, the eyes on his face not looking away from the counter.
“Chocolate,” Shouto immediately said and the mouth smiled.
The eye disappeared but the mouth stayed on as Shouji finally reached the counter and ordered for the both of them. Two chocolate ice cream scoops on a cone for Shouto and three different ones – mint, pistachio and vanilla – on a bowl for Shouji.
Before Shouto could stop him, Shouji had also already paid for the both of them. It was hard to stop him when he could hold onto both ice creams with no problem and still find the change in his wallet without dropping anything.
It wasn’t until they were sitting at a table in the corner that Shouto finally noticed that people were staring at them. At first, he thought it was because of the festival, that they recognized him. But it didn’t take long before he realized they weren’t so much staring at him as they were at Shouji and that most of the looks didn’t seem particularly kind.
It made him angry and he didn’t even notice he was getting up – to do what, who knew – until Shouji had grabbed onto his arm and pulled him back down.
“Ignore them,” Shouji said and he sounded as calm as ever but his shoulders were hunched, which just made Shouto angrier. How dare they judge Shouji for his appearance? There was nothing wrong with it!
He told Shouji as much and it finally made him let go.
“Most people don’t feel that way,” Shouji said with a mouth on his right, using one on his left to eat the ice cream. It made some people stare even harder but Shouji just pretended he couldn’t see them.
“There’s lots of people with quirks that change their bodies like yours,” Shouto said, still in an angrier voice than normal and he wasn’t used to feeling anger for other people.
Shouji shrugged, “if you think about it, you’ll notice that plenty of them are villains.”
Shouto raised both eyebrows in surprise at that, “I’m sure there’s plenty as heroes too.”
Shouji shrugged again and his shoulders were still hunched and he was clearly pretending that this didn’t bother him, “some, but they’re not many and they’re always… Always making themselves smaller or having costumes that hide more of them.”
“Is that why you wanted to be a hero?” Shouto asked after a pause and Shouji shook his head. He had finished his ice cream while Shouto’s was melting down his hand. He started eating it even though all desire for it had pretty much disappeared.
“No. My mother is a paramedic and she always taught me that if we could help people, we should. That’s what I want to do: help people.”
Shouto nodded. He wanted that too.
“My mother is in a mental hospice,” he said and Shouji looked at him surprised but not with pity. “I haven’t seen her in almost ten years.”
Shouji didn’t say anything and Shouto only spoke after he’d reached the cookie and the chocolate was finally no longer dripping. “I think I’ll go visit her soon.”
“I’ll go with you if you want,” Shouji said and then another mouth spoke, “not inside, of course. You should talk with her alone, but if you want me to accompany you to the hospital… I will.”
Shouto stared at him for a few seconds and felt himself blush again, even though he wasn’t that surprised at the offer. If Shouji could, then he was always kind.
“Thank you. I will… I will let you know.”
They were silent after that and Shouto felt awkward with the way the cookie made a crunching sound as he chewed but there was nothing to do for it.
Once he was finished, he grabbed a napkin and started cleaning his hand. It looked clean but it didn’t feel that way; nothing to be done until he got it under water.
“Todoroki,” Shouji called him away from his thoughts. Shouto looked up and Shouji had his eyes slightly to the left. He couldn’t be sure but he was pretty sure that he was embarrassed.
“Yes?”
“I’m sorry if the… if the hand-holding made you uncomfortable. I simply wanted you to…” He paused and scrunched his eyebrows, searching for the correct words.
“To feel safe?” Shouto murmured and Shouji whipped his eyes to him.
“Yes.”
Shouto didn’t take his eyes from him as he clearly said, “you didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
Shouji nodded and looked down, putting their dirty napkins inside his bowl.
“I liked it,” Shouto admitted and Shouji turned his eyes back to him. “I wouldn’t mind it if we did it again either.”
Instead of verbally replying, Shouji just put a hand on top of Shouto’s which still felt clammy from the chocolate but if it didn’t bother Shouji, then it definitely didn’t bother him.
.
After that day, every afternoon Shouji and Shouto held hands from the entrance hall to the gates. Sometimes it felt like a too short walk; Shouto had barely found the best angle to hold hands and they were already letting go of each other. Other times it felt like the longest part of the day, like the path had increased in meters overnight.
Shouto didn’t think Shouji would have minded holding his hand outside the school grounds as well but after that first time Shouto had told him that he didn’t know what information the driver told his father, and he didn’t want him interfering. Shouji had accepted his words without argument.
“I’m not ashamed,” Shouto had told him and Shouji had used a hand to first smile and then respond with a simple, “I know.”
Shouto was pretty sure that it wasn’t normal to hold hands with a friend. Since the festival he had taken to spending more time with Midoriya and by connection, with Uraraka and Iida as well and the previous lunch Uraraka had gushed about the romantic film she’d watched before going to bed and how cute it was when they’d held hands and then kissed.
Shouto had blushed at that. He wasn’t sure he would have minded if Shouji kissed him and that bothered him; the not being sure. Liking someone… it couldn’t be that subjective, could it? Either you liked them romantically or you didn’t.
But Shouto had never felt those sorts of feelings for anyone. All he knew was that Shouji made him feel safe and that he was always happier when he was around and that he kept thinking about him. According to a magazine in his sister’s room – she hadn’t questioned his reading choices, knowing that he could come to her in his own time – those were all signs of a crush.
Shouto decided that for now he would simply go along with the flow. He was content just like this and Shouji seemed to be as well. That was what mattered.
“Can I ask why you decided to go by your first name as your hero name?” Shouji asked once they’d sat down by a bench just before leaving the gates, as they’d taken to do more often than not.
“I don’t want to hide behind a mask,” Shouto said, looking at Shouji’s face. He turned his face upwards, to the sky, and it was to it that he continued, “I want people to know exactly who I am. Not… Not like some heroes that people think are good just because they’re heroes.”
Shouji squeezed the hand he was still holding and Shouto exhaled. He stared at the sky for a few more moments, enjoying its beauty, before turning to Shouji once more.
He wasn’t looking at Shouto, instead at his hand. He had pulled it slightly up and was moving it around, studying it with a focused look. It made Shouto smile.
“I like your hero name too,” Shouto said and the tentacle closest to the one Shouji was using to hold his hand turned into a mouth, smiling.
It turned back into a tentacle and then after a few more silent seconds, back into a mouth, “what do you think they’ll have us do next?”
Shouto shrugged, “I think the internships’ time will be soon.”
“You’ll probably have many offers.”
“Yes,” Shouto said, not in a smug way, but because he knew he had done well in the festival and that the pros had been paying attention to his quirk. “My father wants me to go to his agency.”
Shouji stopped moving his hand around, laying them on Shouto’s leg, though he didn’t let go. Shouto stared at their hands for a few seconds before he turned to look at Shouji, who seemed to have been waiting for his attention before speaking.
“What do you want?”
Shouto took a deep breath, “to never see him again.”
Shouji didn’t say anything in response, just continued to look.
“But also… he’s the Number 2 Hero. And he’s been there for years. It’s not like the other Pro Heroes are anything to scoff at so clearly he’s good at his job. It would be a great opportunity to learn what makes a Pro.”
“I’m sure other Pros would love to have you.”
“Yes, even if it was just to piss off my father,” Shouto shook his head, “it doesn’t matter where I go, he’ll always think it’s about him. Go to another Pro to piss him off, go to another prefecture to be away… Or stay with him because I’m… letting go of my grudge.” Grudge… Just the word made him want to vomit. Shouto’s father had been saying it against him for years, like beating him as a kid and putting his mother into a mental facility for all the shitty things he had done to her over the years was a simple grudge.
He didn’t notice he had started squeezing Shouji’s hand too hard until Shouji moved his fingers around. Shouto immediately let go, embarrassed for letting his anger get the best of him. “Sorry,” he murmured.
“Todoroki,” Shouji said and when Shouto looked in his direction, he had an eye and a mouth on him. “You don’t ever have to apologize to me. Not for what you feel.”
Shouto swallowed. He half felt like hiding his face, half like crying. Instead, he smiled. “Call me Shouto. Everyone else is going to.”
The eye blinked. “Mezou, then.”
“Mezou,” Shouto repeated, tasting the syllables. It felt… intimate. “Thank you.”
The eye disappeared and Shouto was left to look at Shouji’s two eyes on his face. “You’re welcome,” the mouth said and smiled.
Shouto grabbed his hand back and interlocked their fingers again. Then he looked back to the sky.
.
“Have you decided where to go?” Shouto asked at the ice cream parlor they’d taken to going at least twice a week.
“I put as first place a search and rescue agency in Hokkaido.”
Shouto as surprised by his answer and Shouji’s mouth made a little movement. It was neither good nor bad, just a slight twitch to a side.
“I know most people expect me to be interested in fighting villains.”
“I think search and rescue is as important as going after criminals,” Shouto immediately replied, not doubting it for a second.
The mouth smiled for a quick moment before continuing, “yes, I believe so too. And I think an internship in that would teach me a lot but… With my better sight and hearing and the fact that I can have more hands than most… I think I could do a lot of good in a place like that.”
Shouji wasn’t one for long speeches but he sounded passionate about it, which just made Shouto smile.
“Sometimes I think heroes are divided too much. If there was a rescue operation going on but my main job was fighting crime, I don’t think I would be able to stand down,” Shouto said and Shouji nodded.
“I feel the same. Yet, everyone has a different training and if you went in without knowing the first thing about rescuing, you might do more harm than good.”
Shouto thought that over. “You have a point. I guess… I just don’t like the idea of feeling powerless.”
Shouji didn’t immediately say anything, just studied his face for a few moments. “I think you’re doing a great job in fighting that feeling.”
Shouto didn’t know what to say to that. In the end he settled for a simple, “thank you.”
Shouji smiled and used a different mouth to eat his ice cream. He had gone for three different flavors this time while Shouto continued on chocolate.
“Why Hokkaido?” Shouji made an eye appear to look at Shouto, who continued, “I’m sure there are other agencies of the same type nearby. Why Hokkaido?”
The eye blinked and then turned into a mouth, the one that had previously spoken having turned back into its regular hump.
“My mother is from there. We used to go there every Winter to visit my grandparents but since my grandfather died and my grandmother moved in with us, we haven’t been there. I miss it.”
“What do you miss?” Shouto asked.
“I don’t want to bore you.”
“You wouldn’t,” Shouto immediately replied and Shouji stared at him from atop his mask. It made Shouto blush but he forged on, “you… have been there for me since the start. I want this to feel more… Two-way. I’m here for you too.”
“You don’t need to hear me talking about Hokkaido.”
“Need to? No. Want to? Yes. I want to hear everything you want to tell me,” Shouto confessed and for the first time ever, he saw Shouji look shocked. He looked away for a few seconds, embarrassed, and Shouto cursed the mask, wondering if without it he’d be able to see a blush gracing Shouji’s features, but it wasn’t long before Shouji was back to his regular state and looking at Shouto.
Then he started talking about Hokkaido and Shouto didn’t want to be anywhere else.
.
Everything was fine. At least, that was how Shouto was supposed to feel, he was pretty sure. The Hero Killer was in police custody and his trial would start in a few weeks. But there were already reports about people taking to the internet sharing his views, even if they didn’t agree with his methods.
It didn’t matter the point he was trying to make; he had hurt and murdered people for it. Couldn’t people see that?
There was also, of course, the fact that Endeavour had taken the credit to his capture though Shouto wasn’t that mad about it. It would have meant the end of his career as a hero so he was willing to let it go.
But Iida was hurt and his arm would take a long time to heal, if it ever went back to normal. Shouto felt like he should have done more. He had noticed him changing in the days leading to the internship and it had reminded him sharply of Natsuo, right after their mother had been hospitalized.
Their father hadn’t been around much and when he was, he barely paid any attention to his other kids, but that didn’t stop Natsuo from staring at him with hatred in his eyes whenever he passed by. It had been the same look in Iida’s eyes whenever the Hero Killer had been mentioned and instead of going to talk to him, trying to help, Shouto had just waited for the other shoe to drop.
He was ashamed of himself, even though he knew things had ended far better than anyone could have hoped for.
And now it was the night before they went back to class and he was standing outside Shouji’s house, having had requested the address from Tokoyami, who hadn’t asked anything before giving it to him.
It was late, though not that late that Shouto was sure Shouji would be asleep. He didn’t know what he had been thinking. Only that the thoughts in his head had been growing louder and louder since he had gone back to this house from the hospital and finally he had thought, “Shouji will help.”
But everything was fine so there was nothing for Shouji to do.
He kept staring at the house. It was in a nice neighborhood and of a good size. The garden in front of it looked cared for, with lots of flowers that Shouto didn’t know the name of. He wondered if they paid someone for it or if it was the pet project of one of Shouji’s parents and whether he helped them with it.
“Shouto,” he quickly moved his eyes up from the plants to the door. Shouji was standing in front of it, having closed it silently behind him. “Tokoyami said you’d asked him for my address.”
“I… I’m sorry about that,” Shouto immediately said and Shouji blinked a couple times.
“You’re always welcome here. I’m sorry I didn’t give you my address earlier. Or invited you.”
“No, it’s fine,” Shouto objected. He didn’t want Shouji to feel bad for such a small thing. “I just… I don’t know why I’m here.”
Shouji blinked again and it was amazing how strong his stare felt on Shouto. If he turned every tentacle into an eye Shouto was pretty sure he’d simply disappear from all the attention.
“I saw on the news,” he didn’t say what about, Shouto noticed. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
Shouto finally started walking closer to him. He was almost running by the time he stopped right in front of Shouji, having to crane his neck to look at his face. Shouji was staring with concern down at him and Shouto dropped his head onto his chest.
“I don’t feel okay,” he mumbled and Shouji moved both hands to the back of his neck, darkening the space to the sides of Shouto’s head and he remembered the first time he had done it.
It hadn’t even been that long ago. A couple months, if that. And yet, he’d already gone through two major villain attacks, not to mention all the psychological issues he’d been going through since the festival.
It didn’t feel like two months. It felt like two years.
And throughout it all, Shouji had been by his side. Sometimes silent, sometimes with ice cream, sometimes with three or four eyes and a couple mouths, but always there.
Shouto raised his head, though Shouji didn’t lower his arms. He raised himself on his tip toes and kissed Shouji on top of his nose through the mask. It hadn’t been an accident; it was the place he’d been aiming for.
He didn’t want to kiss Shouji on his mouth if he wasn’t comfortable with it. Shouto just wanted him to know how he felt.
Not like this was a crush but like he was falling in love. It didn’t scare him anymore like when he’d first realized how much he leaned onto Shouji. It just made him never want to leave his side.
“Close your eyes,” Shouji requested and Shouto immediately complied, knowing without having to think about it that Shouji would never do anything to hurt him.
He was still on his tip toes, now with his hands on Shouji’s chest to keep his balance. One of Shouji’s hands left his neck and he heard him lowering his mask.
Then there were lips against his and he couldn’t help the gasp that escaped him.
Shouto had never kissed anyone before. It felt… weird, actually. Fuyumi’s magazines had made him expect something… more. He’d never admit it but Shouto had hoped that when they said to expect fireworks when it was with the right person they would mean literally. But all he felt was a weight against his lips. It was foreign.
He moved his head to a side and the angle changed. He was also sure that he was thinking more than he was supposed to but he couldn’t turn his brain off. Was he doing this okay? Should he move a hand up to Shouji’s face? Was that a boundary he didn’t want crossed? Was Shouji even enjoying it?
Shouto moved back, still with his eyes closed.
“You can open them,” Shouji said and Shouto slowly did.
“I didn’t want to assume,” Shouto said since Shouji hadn’t raised the mask back up.
“It’s okay,” Shouji said and for the first time ever, Shouto heard him speak through the mouth on his face.
He had several scars around it. Shouto let his weight drop back onto his feet, but didn’t move back. He raised a hand up, clearly broadcasting his movements. He saw Shouji’s eyes following the action but he didn’t make any movement to stop him so Shouto put his hand on his face, his touch feather light.
Shouji exhaled. When he spoke, with was with a mouth on one of the tentacles, “I got snow burns as a kid.”
“Is the mask because of the cold?” Shouto asked, frowning. The scar tissue felt different from the non-scared but it wasn’t bad.
“No.” He didn’t continue right away. “People already found me scary. I didn’t want to give them more reasons to think I was a monster.”
Shouto frowned harder. And then he put his other hand against Shouji’s face, his touch stronger, but still not enough that it would hurt or make him feel trapped.
“You’re not a monster and you’re not scary. You’re the most beautiful man I have ever seen.”
Shouji opened his mouth but nothing came out. He closed it and spoke from his right, “you don’t have to say that.”
“I’m not saying it just because. I mean it. I always say what I mean, you know that.”
Shouji looked to his right, though he didn’t do anything to dislodge Shouto’s hands from his face. “I just kissed you so-“
“Did you make me close my eyes because you thought I wouldn’t want to kiss you otherwise?”
Shouji exhaled and then looked down at him. “No, I know it wouldn’t change what you thought of me. But… It’s been a while since anyone has seen me without the mask that didn’t already know about the scars.”
“I have a scar too,” Shouto said and Shouji’s eyes were drawn to it. He raised the hand that wasn’t still holding onto his neck to touch the part underneath his eye. The last time someone had done that, it had been his mother.
Shouto forced himself not to close his eyes at the contact, even though he really wanted to.
“Can I kiss you again?” He asked and Shouji blinked at him.
“Technically, I’m the one who kissed you,” Shouji’s voice sounded from the left and apparently, he no longer had any interest in speaking with the mouth on his face. It didn’t bother Shouto. It was just another thing that made Shouji Shouji.
Shouto didn’t wait for another reply before once again going on his tip toes to kiss him. Shouji moved both hands to his waist and raised him up, so that their faces were at eye level and Shouto no longer had to make an effort to hold onto Shouji or Shouji to bend his neck so much.
It didn’t embarrass him being picked up like that. It just made him smile against Shouji’s lips. Kissing was still a foreign activity but Shouto was willing to keep doing it. Especially with Shouji.