Chapter Text
It’s late, or early, depending on who you ask. Tony stands, staring down at his reflection in the mirror. His shirt is pulled off and he looks horrible. The scars he’s used to, they aren’t that bad. It’s the lines, dark black, green and red, poison. Spreading more and more every day. He leans heavily on the sink, his breath coming in deep pants, as he struggles to stand, his vision blurs for a moment.
One, two, three.
A few deep breaths and his vision clears. It never stays bad for long. He just needs to take a moment some times. He looks back up at his face, pale except for the dark rings around his eyes. He looks like a ghost, or a vampire, and not in the sexy teen novel ways.
He sighed heavily, this was getting harder to hide, soon the veins would be higher than his collar and traveling down his arms. Unless he started wearing turtlenecks he was going to be in some big trouble. He thinks of looking into some makeup, yeah, that seemed like a good idea, he’d only need it when Stephen was around, otherwise Tony doesn’t leave the lab, and he’s made it a point to avoid everyone else.
It’s easier this way.
Let them experience what it’s like without him now, so when the time comes, they’ll be prepared for it.
A brush of his teeth and a splash of water to the face don’t help him much, so he showers. The water hot enough to cook him, but he enjoys to feeling after the initial sting beings to wear off and he gets used to the heat. His skin feels tender, and it reddens, but it helps. He feels alive, and less like a ghost trapped inside a failing body. When he steps out, he notices he’s got two hours until Stephen is supposed to arrive, he decides to take a nap.
Despite not giving into it he feels himself having the urge to sleep more and more lately. His body feels weaker, and his appetite is slowly diminishing, and when he does eat, he’s hit with nausea and occasionally can’t keep his food down. So more often than not, he just decides to not eat.
He dresses in a big sweatshirt and oil stained torn sweatpants, and lies back on the couch, a pillow under his head, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what death will be like.
“Read me something, Jarvis.” He can’t stand the silence. He can’t sleep unless there’s some noise somewhere. He’s often scared he won’t be able to wake up if there isn’t something going on around, something to pull him back from whatever light he may see at the end of the tunnel.
_
He wakes much later than he intended, the lights in the lab are on but dim, probably in an attempt to keep Tony from waking. Which was pretty smart since it worked. He stretches, full body, with his hands over his head, and his toes reaching over the side of the couch. Deep groan leaving him as he feels his bones crack and a muscle in his leg tighten painfully. Then he sits up, rolling his shoulders and cracking his neck. There are line impressions from the couch in his arm. Pale and pink skin lined with abstract designs.
Rubbing his eyes he pushes up from the couch, walking towards Stephen at the desk, a quick order to Jarvis telling him to turn the rest of the lights on.
“Hey.” He manages to mumble, using the back of his hand to rub the sleep out the corner of his eyes. The metal of the desk is cold and he doesn’t want to rest his head on it. Sleep is still tugging at the back of his mind, the couch calls to him, tempting with the warmth of the blanket. But he ignores it. Stephen is here and there is work to be done. He settles for coffee, ordering Jarvis to start the machine and make things easier for him.
“Glad to see you’re finally up.” Stephen smiles, eyes looking to the coffee machine then to Tony, he reached forward and does his best to smooth down some of Tony’s bed head. Tony just closes his eyes and lets it happen. It’s not the first time Stephen has attempted to help Tony look like a decent human being. “I didn't want to disturb you. We both know how rare it is for you to sleep.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Tony nods, the smell of coffee soon fills the room and he gets up, preparing himself a cup, coming back once he’s added cream and sugar. “What are you working on?”
“Well, I was looking over everything you had over here, trying to find what you had planned for the day without waking you, and I found this.” He sets a blue folder apart from all the others and flips it open. “What is this?”
“What’s what?” Tony looks over Stephen's shoulder at it and goes very still.
“This isn’t a sketch, it's a patient. A real patient. With… metal? In their chest.” He lifts the pages, looking over all the information. “Who do these scans belong to?”
Taking a step back, collecting himself, he stirs his coffee methodically.
Those were his scans, he’d forgotten to set them out of sight before Stephen came back. He waves his hand doing his best to seem passive, keeping his nerves under control. His name isn’t anywhere in the folder, and he thanks heaven he never added it.
“No one.”
“This isn’t no one.” Stephen presses.
“No, I guess it’s not.” Tony sighs, rubs his shaking hand on the back of his sweatpants, trying to calm himself. “It’s someone I thought I could help, but I can’t.”
“Are they dead?”
Tony sagged into the chair next to the desk with a sigh, looking off into the lab. “Not yet. But they will be soon if my calculations are correct.”
He looks over the scans again. His lips pursed as he focuses. “How did this metal get here? What happened?”
“There was an explosion,” Tony rubs his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “and shrapnel from a bomb went into their chest. Normally that would have been the death of them because-”
“Because the pieces would have moved to the heart eventually. How was that stopped, or slowed? I see there's some sort of abnormality in the middle of the chest cavity. The scan is flawed, very blurry.”
“Yeah,” Tony thinks over his words carefully. “It’s a magnet, basically, keeps them from moving.”
“So the metal isn’t what’s killing them.”
“No, it’s the magnet, the core, it’s poisoning them.”
“...and they can’t take it out, because the shrapnel will move.”
“Yeah.”
“So why not get surgery? Have the metal removed, then the magnet can be removed as well.”
“Look at where they are.” Tony leans forward and grabs a marker, circling the pieces. “Two of them are dangerously close to the lungs, one is near the heart. They’d have to take the magnet out to do the surgery, and if they aren’t fast enough there is so much damage that could be done. It’s too risky, they might not even survive the entire surgery.”
“Still it’s worth a shot to give it a try.”
“And what? Lose what little time they have to die on the table?”
“It’s better than living with a clock over their head.”
“I disagree.”
“Do they?” Stephen gestured back to the scan.
“Yeah… they do.”
_
Stephen had been silent on the way home, which isn't unusual. He often wore himself out while he was working with Tony. He was usually asleep by the time they pulled into the driveway. But this time Stephen was awake, a tension had filled the car, and Loki was hesitant to ask about it. He settled for occasionally looking over trying to read the expression on his face.
They didn’t end up talking until after they were already in bed, Stephen looking up at the ceiling, arms folded over his chest, Loki laying on his side facing him.
“So are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
“I wouldn’t know where to begin.” He turned onto his side, coming up face to face with Loki. “Even if I did- I’m not sure how much I’d be allowed to tell you.”
“So it’s about the work?”
Stephen bit his lip, reaching out to pull a small piece of lint from the blanket out of Loki’s hair. “It’s more like what we aren’t working on… but it’s not just that either. Lately, there’s been something off with Tony. Or at least more so than usual. Remember when we first went there, and I said something just felt wrong?” Loki nods. “I can’t put my finger on it, but the more I’m around him, the more I see it.”
“Is it the way he acts? Are you uncomfortable with the work?”
“No, it’s not like that.” He shakes his head. “Maybe it’s nothing.”
“It doesn’t sound like nothing.”
“It’s too hard to explain, I can’t find the words, and even if I did I might be wrong.”
“You are not often wrong.”
Stephen looked back up to the ceiling. “I know.” He whispered. Deciding that he was going to have to figure things out on his own.
_
Long after Stephen left Tony couldn’t sleep. No matter how long he laid on that couch, no matter what song he played, or what he didn’t play, no matter how dim or bright the lights were. He couldn’t get comfortable. He was thirsty, but every time he tried to drink something there was this nasty aftertaste, like copper. He’d brushed his teeth four times, trying to rid his mouth of the taste, but it wouldn't work.
He watched the news for some hours, played solitaire on his phone until he broke his high score- twice. Once Jarvis let him know it was well past morning he decided to finally have something to eat. He suffered through three granola bars and a cup of water.
Moving back to the desk, his scans and files still open, he and Stephen moved on at some point, beginning to work on other things, but it sat in the back of Tony’s mind all day and night, an itch he couldn’t scratch. He looks at them now, sliding them back into the folder and dropping into the trash bin. After all, it doesn't matter now. He was done trying to save himself. He’d accepted his fate, and he was determined to get as much done as he could before he died.
_
“Sir, Thor and Bruce are requesting access to the lab.” Jarvis’ voice filled the lab after muting the music. Tony slid from under one of the cars, pulling off his safety glasses, wiping the oil from his face leaving a dark smudge of it behind on his cheek. “What? Both of them?”
“Yes.”
“Together?”
“Yes.”
“What do they want?” He pushes himself up from the floor and walks over the computer pulling up the security screen, he smiled, both of them were looking to the camera waving, knowing he’d check it.
“They said it was a surprise.”
“That’s not ominous.” He taps his foot, debating it, rolling his shoulders, working out a crick and feeling the soreness in his hand and arms from working for several hours. Now was a good a time as any to take a break, and he hasn’t seen Bruce in over a month. “Fuck it.” He shrugs. “Let them in.”
Less than a minute later they were stepping out of the elevator, smile on their faces.
“Tony!” Thor’s voice boomed. “You let us in!”
“Of course I did, I always have time for you Blondie.” Tony winked. “You leave Jane for me yet?”
Thor laughed and pulled Tony in for a great hug that lifted him several inches from the floor. “Not yet.”
“Ah, well don’t keep me waiting too long. I’m good to go whenever I always keep a bag packed just in case.” He gathered his footing back with a wink as Thor set him back down, but kept him close, hand resting on Tony’s lower back.
“As heartwarming and disturbing as this conversation is,” Bruce smiled, stepping up for a hug of his own. “We came down here for a reason.”
“Yeah? What’s that?”
“Making sure you’re still alive.” He looked around the lab. “You weren’t working on anything important just now were you?”
“Nope.” Tony shrugged, moving past them over to the cars, patting the hood of the one he was just under. “I was just putting the finishing touches on this beauty.”
“Anything set up that could go boom?”
Tony chuckled, “No, why?” When he turned back towards them, he was surprised to find Thor right on his heels, as if he’d forgotten what personal space way. “Hey big guy, you’re awfully close today. You trying to make an honest man out of me or what?”
Thor smiled, “I’m sorry, Tony.”
“For wha- Oh!”
The world was flipped upside down as Thor grabbed Tony and lifted him, holding him up over his shoulder, and began towards the elevator.
“Hey! What are you doing?” He struggled for purchase on Thor’s very muscled back, good lord, he was buff everywhere, Tony was stuck between nauseous, disoriented, and appreciative for the chance to feel up the man built like a god.
Bruce smiles sheepishly as they stepped into the elevator and the doors closed. “Sorry, Pepper ordered us to collect you.”
He gasped. “Traitors!”
_
“Tony you can’t pout all day.” Pepper sighed, standing over the couch, hands on her hips, trying to engage him for the fifth time. He was lying face first on the couch turned away from her it’s been two hours since he was forced out of the lab.
“Do you even know me? Of course, I can.” He really could, although he had to admit it was getting hard to breathe into the small corner of the couch.
“At least get off the couch? You’re covered in oil and god knows what. You’re going to stain it.” He hears the sound of her opening a drawer and something hits his back. With a grunt, he sits up, inspected what’s been thrown at him.
“Baby wipes?” He lifts an eyebrow with the package. “Should I ask why you have these?”
“It’s good for removing makeup.” She shrugs, checking the time, she stands, gathering a few things from her desk. “I’m off to a meeting.” She turns to Bruce and Thor who have been waiting by the door. “You two keep an eye on him. I don’t want him back in the lab until the sun goes down, okay? Also, try to get him outside, he could use the direct sunlight. He’s starting to look like a vampire. If he tries to drink your blood call the CDC.”
Tony rolls his eyes, “Ha ha.” He says blandly. “You’re so funny, I’m not at all regretting giving you more control of my company.”
She just smiles brightly at him and leaves, thanking Bruce and Thor for helping out. Much to Tony’s betrayal. He sticks his tongue at them and collapses back onto the sofa, using trying to get oil off his hands with a wipe. “I’m surrounded by traitors. I should fire all of you.”
That's when Loki walks down the hall, just getting out of a meeting of his own and see’s Tony through the glass door. He pushes the door open and peaks his head inside.
“Tony?”
Tony sits up, eyes wide with a relieved gasp. “Loki! Save me! I’ve been abducted, in my own company, by my own friends.”
“Oh?” Loki smiled. “Is that what’s got you out of the lab?” He looks to Thor and Bruce. “You’ve dragged him out have you?”
“Kicking and screaming, Brother.” Thor nodded.
“I did not scream.”
“He sure did kick though.” Bruce adds.
“You deserved it.” Tony grumbles.
Loki sets his case down on the desk and sits on the couch next to Tony. “You’ve got oil or something on your face.”
“I know.” Tony sighed. “But I’ve got to do my hands first or everything will just get smeared first.” He rubbed at his hands more with the wipe getting frustrated, balling it up and throwing it to the floor before grabbing another one and trying again. Loki clicked his tongue and shook his head, rolling up his sleeves he grabbed a wipe and pulled on Tony’s chin to face him completely, and set to gently wipe the oil away.
Tony goes still, relaxing, giving up on his hands and letting Loki do the work for him. He just breathes and studies Loki’s face. His skin looks so soft, and he smells like mint.
“Despite the circumstance.” Loki retrieves another wipe when the one he has is covered in oil, and moved on to Tony’s hands. “It’s nice to see you outside of the lab.”
“So far this is the only part I like about not being down there.” Loki smiles, and so does Tony. “You know, in the lab without natural light, colors seem different.”
“Yeah?” Loki lifts an eyebrow, eyes meeting Tony’s for a second before looking back down at his hands.
“Yeah.” Tony nods. “Down there, your eyes look blue. But up here, they look green.”
Bruce shudders dramatically. “You know you can’t flirt yourself a way back down to the lab Tony. We aren’t letting you back until sundown.”
Tony rolls his eyes. “I was not flirting.” Then to Loki directly. “Really. I’m not. I’ve only got eyes for one man.” Over Loki’s shoulder now. “Thor, I swear I’d never betray you like that, love.”
“Aye, I know Stark.”
He stage whispers to Loki. “He wants me so bad. You should have seen him today, he grabbed me and held me like he never wanted to let me go. Even when I kicked him in the stomach.”
“It’s nice to know the only married man you’re after is my brother. It won’t make things weird when I ask if you want to have dinner with Stephen and me today.”
“I’d love to, but you’ll have to as my babysitters if that’s alright.”
“You can go anywhere but the lab until sundown.”
“Great, I’m going to stay a pretty princess until midnight, or like seven-thirty.”
“That’s good. Let me call Stephen, and you should maybe take a shower? It might but some life back into your skin.” Loki smiles, standing with a wink, and letting his sleeves back down. Grabbing his case digging out his phone. Tony lifted his shirt and smelled his armpit, grimacing, he decided a shower sounded like a great idea.
_
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you right. Did you say Tony is coming over?”
“Yes.”
“Tony Stark?”
“Yes.”
“He’s going to leave the lab? Like actually leave it?”
Loki laughed, again, sitting down on Tony’s bed. The room was clean and unused. The bed made and Loki was sure no one has slept in it for over a month. Music played loudly from the bathroom and the sound of the shower running can just barely be heard underneath it. “He’s already out, taking a shower as we speak.”
“How’d that happen? Did he see a spider down there again?”
“No, apparently Pepper had Bruce and Thor go down there and carry him up, full abduction style. They honestly could go into business together. They make a good team.”
“I knew I liked Pepper.” Stephen stood from the couch and went into the kitchen looking in the refrigerator. “She’s smart, picking Tony’s two weak spots.”
“Oh, you know about that?”
“Know about it? Please, it’s the only thing Tony talks about that isn’t work related. How much he loves Thor’s body, and Bruce’s brilliant mind. He once said if they were combined he’d probably become a full-blown stalker.”
Loki played with a loose thread on the comforter, unable to bring himself to do more than let out a small dry chuckle. Yeah, he’s known about Tony’s crush on Thor for a long time. It’s not like he hid it. He talked about it all the time. Openly flirted, even when most of it was in joking nature. And he knew Tony admired Bruce. Something about the way his mind worked, and how he approached science. Tony could talk about it for hours. He had before. But it had been a while since Loki and Tony spoke more than passing greetings, and small bursts of shared information about the company and legal matters.
It weighed on him suddenly, how somewhere along the line he and Tony stopped behaving like friends and more like coworkers. He hadn’t realized it until today when they finally had a sliver of that original connection back again. They’d drifted apart somehow, and it happened so steadily.
“There’s nothing to eat here, should I order something for us online?”
“No, I’ll pick something up on the way home.”
“Okay, you know what I like from everywhere.”
“Yeah I-” Loki’s brain stalled, froze, shut down and had to reboot himself mid-sentence when Tony walked out of the bathroom. Naked, dripping wet, steam from the shower still rising from his skin. A tan towel held to his chest, covering his entire torso and just barely his penis. He walked across the room, paying no mind to Loki, seeming to not care that his ass was in full view as he rummaged through his dresser looking for clean clothes to change into.
Later Loki would have to admit to himself he that wasn’t trying as hard not to look at Tony’s ass as he should have.
“Loki? Still there?”
“Yeah uh-huh, we’ll be there soon.” He hung up, the phone keeping his eyes down on the comforter. Thinking about mashed potatoes, ants, bee stings, rotting flesh, sharks and anything else that would erase the image of Tony’s ass from his mind and keep him from getting an erection. Tony threw the clothes down on the bed and cleared his throat.
“I have to get dressed.” He prompted Loki to leave, which he understood, but not really since Tony still was holding the towel just to his chest, ass still very much out, and he’s sure he can see a lot of other things hanging just behind the reach of the towel.
“Of course.” He stood and walked out of the room. As he passed Tony he noticed something in his back, a blue veinlike line, coming out from just under his armpit. He meant to ask about it, but by the time he was out and Tony dressed, he’d forgotten.
_
“I think this is the first time I’ve been to your house.” Tony looks around the dining room from his seat. He can’t remember the last time he hung out with someone in their home, and not at the tower, or some swanky party. This was better. They had eaten in relative silence until now, spoken of nothing important or anything of real note. “It’s nice.” He adds. Which is true, it’s got two floors, and he’s sure he saw a staircase to a basement on the way in. It also smells really nice, like vanilla. It was very neat as well, with space. So pretty much the opposite of his lab. It makes him smile thinking about it.
“Thanks.” Stephen nods. They’d bought the house a year after they’d been married, wanting more space than the loft Stephen used to live in. Loki had always said it was more a bachelor pad than a home, and now having made the move, Stephen understood. He prefers this to his old place.
“We could give you the full tour if you want.” Loki offered.
“Really? That’d be nice.” Tony nodded.
“There’s not much to see.” Stephen admits, before brightening up. “Besides Loki’s poor attempt at gardening.”
“We said we would never speak of that.” Loki leveled a calm glance at him.
“You also said you were going to get the yard back to the state it was before you decided to uproot it. But that wasn’t true either was it.”
Tony smiled and continued to eat his food around a quiet chuckle.
_
The tour of the house was quite quick, there wasn’t much to see, as Stephen had said earlier, but it was still all very nice. The basement was pretty much empty besides a laundry room and storage space, and the upstairs had three bedrooms, one empty and the other turned into an office. The backyard where Loki’s garden crashed and burned was tragically hilarious, and Tony took photos to show Pepper when he got back to the tower.
They went back into the living room and talked over the low playing tv for hours. Tony yawned and sunk into the incredibly comfortable and warm sofa. Hours had passed and the sun had been down, but Tony didn’t feel the dying need to go back to the lab.
“I guess I should be taking you back now.” Loki said, realizing the time himself catching a yawn himself.
“Yeah, probably.” Tony nodded.
No one moved for at least another hour, and Tony ended up staying the night.