Chapter Text
I think… I love him.
How do I know it?
Maybe because I have this huge collection about him, or the way even a simple whispering of his name makes my heart beat so fast that I can’t breathe, or maybe the way I look at him when I see his face on the news or magazines.
Now, you can say I’m a super fan and that I'm actually not “in love with him” and I would agree, in fact, I'd gladly agree with you, but this is not the case. It isn’t something superficial, I’m not "in love" with his handsome face or his body, or his amazing quirk, or because he’s a pro hero. I’m in love with the side of him that other people cannot see, that only belong to pro-hero Shoto.
Yeah, it's difficult to understand but, in some way, I can see more than he shows in public.
I can see the real Shoto hidden behind those eyes, mismatched eyes that sometimes glow with a bright light every time people thanks him for saving their lives, and then, in less than a second, shows sadness and loneliness that makes my heart feel his pain even if I didn’t know why.
And that makes me wonder, why does someone who has everything like him, looks like someone who has nothing?
Someone with broken dreams, just like me.
Sometimes I think is just my imagination, seeing myself reflected in his eyes through the television, that forgotten dream of being the hero that I couldn't be, that I couldn't reach, reflected on him. But sometimes I can’t see anything but a boy, a lonely one, trying to be himself, and I don’t know if I’m wrong or not.
But I wish I could take away that dark cloud in his eyes and make them glow of true happiness.
I can’t be people’s hero, I know that.
I learned, when I was 4, that the world isn't fair for everyone.
I am quirkless,
He isn’t,
People aren’t.
I grew up with the idea been kicked and bullied by my supposed best friend, and excluded by my classmates like the plague just for being the way I am, and finally I understood.
People don’t like it when you are different.
They are so used to what is common in society, so when they see someone like me only two things can happen:
people could hate me
or
feel sorry for me.
I hate both.
Because I always wanted to be hero, to save people with a smile, like All Might, so I thought “I can’t give up, I have to do it no matter what” or that’s what I thought until I was fifteen, and met All Might for the first time and told me, on the roof of a building, something that I knew in my heart but I denied to believe:
“sorry young boy, you can’t be a hero”
And it hurts, god, sometimes keeps hurting but that doesn´t matter at all.
Now, I don’t want to be people’s hero.
Because since I saw him on TV in U.A sports festival melting the ice that he blasted upon his opponent with such a sadness in his face, I thought that the world doesn’t matter.
Out there are a lot of heroes saving people every day from natural disasters or villains on streets but what about the loneliness in our souls or the darkness in our hearts? What about his soul and his heart that nobody can’t reach because seems like people only can see him like a future hero and not like the person he is?
Shoto Todoroki is suffering, his soul, his heart, and seems like nobody can see it but me. I have to do something.
That day I have only one thought in my head that became my motto.
I want to save him.
I want him to be happy.
If this isn’t love, I don’t know how I should name it.
If only I could have a chance, a single opportunity to be close to him to listen to whatever he has to say, maybe I could make him smile. He doesn’t need to love me. That would be impossible, I’m not a silly boy who dreams about impossible things anymore.
I grew up, I graduated from high school, and I’ll start college in two months.
He’s now a 2 years licensed pro hero.
We are different
Our paths are so far from each other, but If I have a chance, a single one...
I won’t let it go.
Not now, when I have him right in front of me, holding me by my shoulders and looking at me with concern in his beautiful eyes. I don’t remember exactly where I am or why I’m here lying in the middle of something that looks like a crushed building, holding a cat and without my glasses, but he’s with me, this is my chance.
I love him, so since this day I’ll become his hero.