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Maura left the conference dinner feeling much better about her decision to come to Boston for the week. When the location for this year’s Medical Examiners Conference had been announced, she’d initially decided not to go this year, even though she had made a habit of attending every year even before she had left to relocate again in California. There were still a great many memories in Boston she would rather forget. But she came anyway, partially out of habit and partially out of a curious desire to see if Boston still hurt as much as it had when she left.
It had, of course. There was no way around how even unfamiliar places in this city that had once been her home still managed to seem haunted with that familiar presence. But the ache was soften too, sweetened by time and forgiveness and it didn’t hurt in quite the same way. It helped that the conference was being held in a part of town where she had rarely ventured during her time living here. There were fewer memories and less chance of encountering someone she knew, and of course, she hadn’t told anyone she was coming.
Now the conference was over, the last dinner attended, and she had a flight to catch early in the morning. All she had to do was get a cab, something all the other conference attendees around her also seemed intent on doing, forcing her to wait at the curb for one to become available. Then she heard it.
“Maura!” Her name being called by that voice, that sweet, husky voice and just as she was debating pretending she hadn’t heard it and signalling for the empty cab she could see a short ways up the road, it came again, nearer this time and no less beautiful.
“Maura!”
Bracing herself, she put on a polite smile and turned towards the voice, just in time for the crowd to part as if on cue and for Jane Rizzoli to come striding out of it looking gorgeous in a stunning black dress that clung to her body in exactly the right places, her hair up and just a hint of makeup on her smiling features.
Maura suddenly felt as though she couldn’t breathe as all the old feelings rushed back into her making the world stand still while she remembered how much she loved this woman, how much she still loved this woman. Even as that feeling crescendoed inside her, the old ache flared back to life as well reminding her that even if she still loved Jane, that love had never been returned in the same way.
Remembering that fact brought her back to reality in time for a smiling Jane to reach her and grab her shoulder in an excited greeting. They exchanged all the usual pleasantries, catching up on each other's’ lives in the way old friends who’ve lost touch do.
Maura explained she was in town for a conference and Jane updated her on her own work and how her family was doing. It was all bright and cheerful but with the air of restraint that had come between them in the time before Maura’s departure. But even with that hurt standing in the space between them Maura still felt it.
The old connection was still there, partially severed maybe, but still pulsing with life and Maura knew that time and distance hadn’t done a thing to put a damper on the love she felt for this lovely, animated woman who stood in front of her smiling brightly and chattering on about old experiences and mutual friends.
Except for the hurt Maura carried it was perfect. Then the moment was shattered as he walked up to the pair of them, wrapping his arm possessively around Jane as he joined them.
Jane paused in the conversation to politely say, “Maura, you remember my husband.”
Of course she remembered him. The last betrayal, the greatest one, the one it had taken her all these years to forgive had been when Jane married him. But Maura was nothing if not controlled. She had had the time to relearn all the old skills but with the added thin veneer of sociability she had once learned from Jane.
So she plastered on her best smile and spoke about how of course she remembered him and asked after his health and at the end of a brief, polite exchange, he reminded Jane that it was late and they should get home. The babysitter was waiting.
He said it with an apologetic tone as though reluctant to cut this time short but Maura knew better. She could still read faces and she saw in his the relief that he had a socially acceptable reason to leave.
Jane was genuinely reluctant, saying her goodbye slowly, trying to drag out the time, and asking Maura to call or at least look her up if she was ever in Boston again. Then she unexpectedly pulled Maura into a hug, one that was as warm and comforting as Maura remembered her hugs being. Just before she pulled away Jane whispered, “I’ve missed you,” into Maura’s ear, then she turned and took her husband’s arm and with a longing backward glance towards Maura, walked away into the crowd with him.
Maura watched her go, making sure they were well out of sight before she let her control slip even a little bit. As she felt the tears start to come, she quickly turned and hailed a passing cab, giving the address of her hotel before the pain in her heart rose up and choked off her voice.
As she rode back to her empty hotel room and lonely life, she acknowledged two things to herself: it had been a mistake to come back to Boston and she was still painfully in love with Jane Rizzoli who continued to have the power to make Maura’s world stand still even while she destroyed her heart.