Chapter Text
Prologue
“Dear Diary???
This is stupid. I feel stupid.
And I have no idea how the hell I’m supposed to start something like this!?!”
“Urgh!”
You violently scratched out the lines you’d just written and sighed heavily. Glaring at the book in your lap for a moment, before looking up at the ceiling, trying to think of what to write next.
...But it’s not like you’d actually find any answers scrawled onto the ceiling.
Absentmindedly, you lifted your pen and tapped it against your lips a few times then shook your head and rolled your eyes “Whatever...”
Turning back to the book in your lap, you ran a hand over the page, smoothing it unnecessarily. The book was new, nothing fancy; just one of those little black and white hardcovers you always see kids using in the movies.
Trying to get a bit more comfortable, you shifted around on the bed then set your jaw and took a deep breath. Determined to fill at least one of the pages, you lowered your pen back to the page; making sure to leave a couple of rows blank.
“Anyway, so Captain Rogers…“ You hesitated for a moment, then scratched out his title, Captain Rogers
You smiled fondly as you continued writing, “Steve suggested that I start keeping a journal to record and organise my memories. I don't really remember very much, but whenever I do, I'll try remember to write it down.”
“It's not like I'm a blank slate or anything; I do remember a few small things every now and then... but not much from before that random dickhead ordered me to kill Captain“ Realising you’d done it again, you sighed, and scratched out the partial title… again “Steve.“
“Anyway, so, everything kinda started when I was given the order to ‘Kill Captain Rogers!’ (I’m not sure who gave the order).
Everything is pretty fuzzy before that.. It feels like I was… asleep maybe? Right up until I heard those words.
And I remember that, as I turned to follow my orders (like a good little zombie), I was knocked out..
by a giant. metal. frisbee.”
You couldn’t help but giggle a bit at the ridiculousness of it.
“And that was how I first met Steve (I know, right! What a way to say hello?! =P)
“But yeah, needless to say I got nowhere NEAR killing him; didn’t know it at the time, but I NEVER stood a chance….”
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Chapter One
… Several weeks ago…
- The Avengers compound -
Location: Classified (Upstate New York)
You woke gasping for air, heart hammering in your chest; as if from a nightmare.
“What the hell!?!“
Everything was too loud, the light too bright and your whole body ached. You tried to sit up but were pulled back down; your wrists were handcuffed to either side of a bed.
The sudden movement caused your mind to cloud over in dizziness.
“Wait... I'm supposed to be doing something.”
You took a few deep, calming, breaths and squeezed your eyes shut for a few seconds. Once the dizziness passed, you eased your eyes open again, letting them adjust to the light.
“Ouch..” you took a tentative look at your wrists; there were angry red welts peeking out from under your black long-sleeve shirt. The handcuffs were a little bit too tight and bordered by bruises of varying age and shades.
“Where the hell..?”
Your thoughts were interrupted by voice coming from inside the next room.
---
"Her prints didn't match anything in the database - or any database in fact!"
You could only partially see through the doorway and into the other room; the voice belonged to an unfamiliar and very agitated looking man. He was leaning back against a counter with his arms folded over his chest; just underneath a glowing blue light.
Whoever he was talking to wasn’t in your line of sight.
"Facial recognition got a hit though; Y/N&Y/S/N." as he spoke, he placed a cell phone onto the counter in front of him.
He then tapped it twice and a small holographic picture of your face appeared above it.
---
You could tell that it wasn't ACTUALLY you, just someone who seemed to look a lot like you.. Her hair was somehow… wrong though. “…Whaaat the actual hell?..” you thought to yourself.
---
The man ran his hand over his face then shrugged. "I called her parents but get this; their daughter is safe and sound at home. They insist that she was never missing to begin with.” he raised his eyebrows and sighed heavily “Just to be sure, I checked...” he paused dramatically. “Steve, THAT is not Y/N…” He gestured in your direction without looking.
------
"Steve... Steve?!" You suddenly put two-&-two- together and your eyes widened in horror. “Oh Shit! I have to get out of here."
Your thoughts raced - if Captain Rogers didn't kill you, THEY would.
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"What are you saying, Tony?" asked Captain Rogers skeptically. “Are you trying to tell me that she's some kind of... clone?
Tony shook his head and threw his hands in the air, "YOU tell ME, Rogers!? You're the one who keeps taking in assassins like they're stray cats!"
"Tony, we don't KNOW that she's..." Steve started.
But Tony interrupted, "She's Hydra, Steve!” shook his head and gestured wildly in obvious exasperation.
-----
You knit your eyebrows, recognising the name “Hydra... That sounds familiar…”
-----
“Steve, she isn't just some lost puppy, she's...“
Tony waved in your direction, stopping mid-sentence as his eyes met yours. He leaned backwards slightly and his eyes hardened "She's awake." he stated blankly, not taking his eyes off you.
He was almost glaring as he stepped away from the counter; he definitely knew that you had been listening in on the conversation.
But before Tony had even taken three steps in your direction, Captain Rogers suddenly appeared in the doorway.
"Who are you?!" he demanded.
Startled by his sudden appearance, you jerked to the side, trying to move further away. “Jeezus!”
But the handcuffs only let you move so-far. You tugged at the cuffs a few times, but you ended up having to lay back down. Determined to keep your distance, you shifted as far away from the two men as the handcuffs would allow.
---
All the sudden movement made you dizzy again; you tried to blink it away but your mind fuzzied and your eyes glazed over.
Several fragmented memories flooded through your mind all at once “Compliance will be rewarded… Kill Captain Rogers!.... 452, you WILL comply!”
The words raked through your mind, causing sharp pains throughout your brain.
“Comply...”
---
"Cap got your tongue?” Tony asked sarcastically, breaking through your trance.
When you looked up again he was leaning against the doorframe.
---
You swallowed thickly and turned to face the ceiling, refusing to answer. Whether this was just a test or if you had actually been captured by the enemy… you were already in a lot of trouble, and there was no way in hell you were going to make this any worse for yourself.
The pain in your head was getting worse and you were thoroughly confused but you needed a plan.
"I have to get out of here.”
“I have to escape and then.. No, wait. I have to kill Captain Rogers, then..” you blanched "Wait, kill???....”
Without being too obvious about it, you slowly took another deep, calming breath.
“Kill Captain Rogers and escape, then work my way back to.... You blinked in surprise “Um.. back to..." Your eyebrows knit slightly, just for a second. “...Where?”
---
Neither of the men missed the change in your expression. Tony uncrossed his arms, and raised an eyebrow. He took a few steps towards you and narrowed his eyes “Just in case you're thinking of escaping; this is a maximum security facility... 30 feet underground.”
He smirked and took a few steps backwards “There will BE no escaping.” Tony went back to leaning against the door frame and then fell into a smug silence.
Captain Rogers turned his attention back to you and crossed his arms “So you better start talking.”
“Who are you?!” He demanded.
He only waited about half a minute “Where’s the rest of Hydra? What are they planning?”
---
“Hydra... I definitely know that from somewhere…” There was a nagging feeling in the back of your mind, that you were forgetting something really important..
You continued to stare at the ceiling, clenching your jaw in determination; refusing to say a word - "Snitches get stitches…”
---
Tony pouted theatrically “Aww. I don't think she wants to talk to us Cap.”
… More sarcasm.
A full minute passed. The Captain took a breath and when he spoke again his voice had softened a bit “This doesn't have to get ugly. If you talk to us, we can help you.” He sounded very sincere and was pretty convincing. “Maybe we can work out some kind of deal.”
---
“A deal?.. Is this some kind of a cop show? Are they going to play Good-cop-Bad-cop?” you wondered.
---
Tony took a step away from the doorway, uncrossed his arms and held them behind his back “OR we can just find you a nice little 3x3...” he paused for dramatic effect.
---
“Yup. Called it - there's the Bad-cop.” you thought, unimpressed “Amateurs.”
---
“… at the bottom of the Atlantic.“ he finished smugly.
---
That got your attention.
The thought of being trapped in a small dark room at the bottom of the ocean was terrifying.
You flinched, eyes widening slightly. “.. Fuuuck…”
Trying very hard not to look at them, you tried to stay focused on being calm and keeping your breathing as even as possible.
"Relax, They'd have to move you - and that's going to be the best time to escape. It'll be fine.”
You clenched your fists and took a deep breath, but didn't respond.
“It'll be fine…”
---
For about 30 seconds, Captain Rogers just stood there; eyebrow raised and arms crossed..
“Suit yourself.” He turned to walk out of the room and indicated for Tony to follow.
“I might have an idea..” The Captain took one last look at you and then stalked out of the room; with Tony Stark in tow.
in tow.