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“How did it all come to this, Hux?” He can barely get the words out, his throat as tight as his own grip. “Where are you?”
The hand in his is cold.
—
It seemed to start around the time of the realization of Starkiller, but when Kylo thinks back on it, maybe that's just when he finally started to notice.
—
Hux is late. If Hux could joke, then Kylo would think that this must surely be one. General Hux is never late.
But according to the chrono on the wall, it is currently 1404, and he has not yet strode in through the double doors of the briefing room. The officers that are present don't seem to mind. They enjoy the time to chat on the clock.
At 1406, just as Kylo pulls out his comm to get ahold of him, the doors slide open to reveal the general. He doesn't apologize for his tardiness; he simply has the room sit and opens the agenda.
—
“Did you get new soap?” Hux calls from the shower.
“Yeah, a couple weeks ago.” Kylo pops his head into the fresher to see the soap being closely examined, then sniffed. “You like it?”
“I didn't even notice it.” It gets placed back in the nook.
—
“Hey, wake up. Your alarm is going off.” He shakes Hux by the shoulder, only for him to grumble and turn away.
The alarm continues to beep, pulling Kylo further into wakefulness. “Hux, turn that thing off.”
A pale hand reaches from the bed to the beeping chrono and silences it.
“Are you getting sick?” Kylo places the back of his hand on the exposed neck before him. It's warm from sleep, but not feverish.
He shakes Hux’s shoulder again, getting a better rise out of him this time.
“I'm up, I'm up. Quit shaking me.”
—
In the week after Starkiller’s destruction, things are rather hectic. The low morale of the shorted crew does little to alleviate the amount of work that remains to be done. Kylo almost doesn't see Hux at all before he leaves for Snoke’s citadel.
“Hand me those pain relievers from the medicine cabinet, will you?”
“I thought you said you weren't hurt.” He pulls the bottle out and gives it to Hux. His hands are cold.
“I'm not, but my head is killing me.” Hux shakes two of the pills out into his hand and swallows them dry. He looks terrible.
“Have you had enough water? When's the last time you ate?”
Hux just shrugs. “Yesterday, probably. I haven't been that hungry lately.” He passes the bottle back to Kylo and goes back into the bedroom.
—
“Why are you so distant all of a sudden?”
“What?” Hux turns around to look at him, incredulous.
“Ever since I got back from the Citadel, it's like you're not really here. I almost never see you anywhere but on the bridge, and when I do, you hardly look at me. You keep blowing me off during the day and then coming back here at night, acting like nothing’s wrong.”
“I don't know what you're talking about, Ren.”
He scoffs. “Don't bullshit me, Hux.”
“I'm not. I really don't know what you're talking about.” Hux sits up fully, covers dropping to his hips. “When have I ever blown you off? Name one time.”
“Yesterday. Lunch.”
“I didn't agree to having lunch yesterday.”
“Yes, you did. That morning, before you left to start your shift.”
“No.” Hux shakes his head, entirely serious. “We didn't even see each other that morning.”
—
He's never seen Hux cry before.
“I thought I could go to your quarters and we could have lunch, or something,” he sniffles. “But the ship is just so big, and I guess I got lost.” He buries his head in his hands.
“Come on, get up off the floor. We need to get you back in bed.” He pulls Hux up by his cold hands, holds him steady as they walk back to their quarters.
“I don't want to go to bed,” the general whines.
“It's two in the morning, babe. You have to.”
When they finally reach their door, Kylo enters his code and drags Hux to the bed. He's still in his nightclothes, barefoot and teary, and he asks, “will you stay with me tonight?”
“Of course.” Kylo’s old quarters were assigned to someone else two years ago, when he moved in with Hux.