Chapter Text
"Hey Fatass, you're holding us up!"
"Shut up Kahl, I didn't wanna go to this gay shit in the first place!"
"Dude, we got free tickets, of course we're going."
"That's my boy Stan, always the level-headed one."
"Shut up Kenny.", Stan said, getting into his drivers seat. They won free tickets to a drag show in Denver from a hot dog eating contest that Cartman came first place in, the bastard was actually useful for something.
Shelly had gotten Stan into drag a few years previous and he was now a big fan. He was excited for this show in particular because Big Gay Al was in it. He seen Al in drag on Instagram, but never in real life.
Al, onstage, was Alisha South: Mother of the Haus of South. Stan would quietly giggle when he heard the name but to each their own he guessed. Alisha's specialty in drag was fashion but, according to the diva herself, that was because she left the splits and death drops to the babies.
She had three drag daughters; Trinity, Brittnae, and Marji. They were all really well versed in make up, from what Stan has seen on Instagram. He was really excited to see a drag show in person, seeing as how he had only ever seen the glamour from RPDR and various YouTube videos.
Stan knew that Kenny asked Butters to come but Butters said that he was busy with work. Stan has been trying to spend more time with Butters ever since he finally let loose from his parents. Butters was free from Stephen's control and Linda's terrible, unstable "parenting.” When the time came, Stan and the others were ecstatic. They even helped Butters get his shit out of what Stan and the rest gang grew to call, “Fort Stotch”.
Stan still fumes when he thinks about what Stephen Stotch had said to his son the day he left.
"Fine, get out! Leave! You've always been a disappointment anyway!"
"You're no son of mine."
"More room for Linda and I to try again and raise a decent child!"
Dirty bastard.
Stan drove down the highway out of South Park and towards Denver with Kyle riding shotgun and Kenny in the back with Cartman, which Kenny was not happy about.
"Why do I have to sit back here with the fat fuck? He smells like two week old Cheesy Poofs!", Kenny said, kicking the back of Kyle's seat. Kyle rolled his eyes and turned the volume up in his headphones.
"Because Kyle called shotgun after we decided that I was driving. You should have called shotgun first if you really wanted to sit up here." Stan replied, making sharp eye contact with Kenny in the rearview mirror.
Kenny has had...issues with Cartman since middle school.
Cartman put together this scheme to "prank" the younger kids and it ended up with Karen's leg broken and about $1500 out of his parent's damn near nonexistent savings account.
Ever since then, Kenny didn't trust Cartman further than he could throw him, which wasn't very far considering the bastard's considerable girth.
Stan pulled off of the highway, trying not to hit the median this time. He almost lost his damn car driving while tired two months ago. Shelly had to pick him up from the road and he had to get his car towed straight to Kenny's older brother's garage. It cost his damn life saving to fix his car. His dad was not happy.
"Is it close? I have to piss! Stan, are you listening to me?" Cartman groaned. He was pouting in the backseat and poor Kenny was pressed up against the other window thanks to Cartman's inconsiderate assfuckery.
Stan’s car wasn't that big but it was big enough that there was room for them not to touch in the back seat. Cartman was sitting with his back towards Kenny and his legs on the seat, pushing Kenny. Kenny had a burning look of murder in his eyes from what Stan saw in the rearview window. Needless to say, Stan hurried, he didn't want his dad to bitch at him over the bloodshed in the backseat.
"Oh fucking yeah,man! Free drinks and hot people, this is my kind of event!" Kenny cheered, throwing his arm around Kyle's shoulders after they got out of the car. The redhead smiled and snuggled into Kenny's shoulder.
They've been together since sophomore year, and Stan was happy for them. It was good for Kenny to have someone to care about him especially it being one of his best friends. Cartman wasn't very happy with Kenny "stealing Kyle from him" and constantly bothers him about it. Kyle still doesn't know that Cartman likes him and for the sake of his sanity, it should stay that way.
Stan talked to the doorman and he traded him the tickets for their programs and drink tokens with a small, friendly smile. Once inside, he got them a table at the front as close to the stage as possible and ordered some food for Kyle, Kenny, and himself to share, especially considering the fact that Fatass was probably going to order all the food on the Northern hemisphere and keep them hungry.
Carman tried to move over and eat off of their appetizer tray, but Kyle wasn't having it.
"You didn't even want to come with us you fat bitch! Get your own fucking food!", Kyle yelled, smacking Cartman's hand out of the way. Cartman sneered at Kyle and tried to take the food again, nudging Kenny in the process. Kenny frowned and punched Cartman in the back of the head.
“Could you not be a dick for five seconds? Buy your own food you fucking whale! You’re always trying to eat food that ain’t yours, I still haven’t forgiven you for eating the skin off of that chicken!”, he yelled, pushing the platter towards Stan. Stan rolled his eyes and turned towards the stage. It was time for the show to start and Alisha was taking the stage.
:”Hello my lovelies! Welcome to the WinterGreen Lounge.”,Alisha spoke clearly and confidently. This was her element the stage was her home and the audience’s attention was her sustenance. She looked so...at home.
“We’ve got a big surprise for you all today! My daughtresses have put together something wonderful, and I hope you all enjoy. Welcome to...The Haus of South: Variety Show!”, Alisha moved back and walked behind the curtains.
“Oh,a variety show? I hope there’s a lot of dancing.”, Kyle whispered, laying his head on Kenny’s shoulder again. Kenny smiled at Kyle and nuzzled into his hair. The curtains pull back and three girls walk onto the stage in Matching outfits in blue, pink and yellow.Their outfits were two pieces, a skirt and crop top connected by a sheer netting,making it a dress. The one on the left was darker skinned, with black hair in a high ponytail, tied with a ribbon that matched her yellow dress. The girl on the right was pale in a pretty pale pink, with bright red hair loose around her shoulders and a matching pink ribbon tied across her hair as a headband. The girl in the middle however…
‘Wow…’, thought Stan, taking a slow sip from his water. ‘She's so pretty..’. The girl in the middle was blonde, almost platinum blonde, much lighter than Kenny’s. She had her hair in low pigtails secured with blue ribbons that matched her dress. Her bangs covered one of her eyes, and the other eye was adorned with smokey makeup and crystals that caught the stage lights and sparkled. She flipped her hair and grabbed a mic from the DJ at the side of the stage.
“Hello everyone~! It’s so nice to see you all here to appreciate us and our talents. Today I will be your headliner and you emcee for the duration of the show, because our dear mother is recovering for a back injury. But, y’all get to hear my lovely voice more tonight so...win-lose amirite?”, she spoke confidently, with an air of flirtatiousness to her words. Stan was floored immediately, he had never seen someone command a room this easily. She seemed to have the audience in the palm of her hand with her every word and movement, and Stan was quickly falling under her spell. She smiled at the applauding audience and spoke again.
“Now let’s get this show on the road, shall we~? I’m Marjorine, and these are my sisters, Trinity and Brittnae, and we’re here to show you a good time! ”.